Second Chances and Do Overs
by Renthead621
Summary: Post Rent. 2 and a half years since Mimi's passed and a lot's changed. Except Roger's aspirations to find his glory. Rated for language. I do not own Rent, I just like to play with it.
1. Chapter 1

It's been nearly 2 and a half years since Mimi Marquez succumbed to her HIV. It was Christmas Day when she died peacefully in her sleep. Roger and the rest of her friends were by her side. She was only 20 years old. Roger sang Your Eyes, until his voice was hoarse and raw, hoping it would bring her back like before. But it didn't. Collins stayed with them for a month or so, until an out of state teaching job took him away. Dreams of opening up that restaurant in Santa Fe still on his mind. He calls to check in every once in a while, but hasn't been back since. Maureen and Joanne, still hurting from losing Angel, saw Mimi's death as the final straw. They distanced themselves from the boys, not willing to wait for Roger or Collins to be next. Roger didn't run away again, as Mark and Collins had expected. He stayed and continued writing. Mimi's song opened up the flood gates. He hoped to get back on stage. He began auditioning for bands, but finally decided to start his own band. It was slow going since he didn't want green kids, with dreams of sex, drugs and rock and roll dancing in their heads. He was looking for seasoned musicians like him, with one last chance to make it big.

After much coaxing from Alison, Benny let go of his dreams of building a Cyber Arts and left the day to day operations of the building and the lot next door to Mr. Grey. Alison convinced her father to allow Mark and Roger to stay at the loft and give them a reasonable rate on the rent. A decision fueled, not only by spite over what happened between Benny and Mimi, but his treatment of his former friends over the previous year.

Mark, after quitting his job at Buzz line just before Christmas, decided to make a new year's resolution to start taking his film making more seriously. He got a job at a small indie production company in Greenwich Village. He met a beautiful woman named Jami. She was an assistant at the production company, but had aspirations of being a screen writer. He read one of her screenplays and convinced the studio heads to allow him to film it. She lived on 10th and Avenue B and was a medium height blond with shocking blue eyes. She was very attractive, but considering the fact that they worked together, Mark put all prospects of a relationship with her to rest. She was also a part time cashier in the grocery store on Avenue B when he met her. He showed her his documentary and she agreed that they should work together. She admired his raw energy and how candid and naked his camera work was. They would often hold court in the Life Cafe, arguing, laughing and collaborating about her latest screen play. With Collins, Maureen and Joanne out of the picture and Roger constantly wrapped up in either songwriting or looking to poach musicians from other bands, with his former Well Hungarians lead guitarist, Nate at his side, Mark was always with Jami. Roger and Jami had never actually met, but she saw him around the neighborhood. And she had seen him in the grocery store, but they never interacted. He actually avoided making eye contact with her at all cost. She was too intimidated to talk to him on her own.

She found his transformation in Mark's documentary fascinating. In the beginning, he was a very angsty, damaged young man, but towards the end, when he was with the attractive Latina, he looked happy and very much in love. She knew everything about Mark and his friends from spending so much time with him. Including the fact that Roger and the attractive Latina were HIV positive and that she passed away from her disease, leaving Roger heartbroken. She couldn't help but feel for him. Her best friend died of AIDS and she never got over it.

It was Wednesday afternoon, around 5:30. Jami and Mark were, where they usually were most of the time, at the Life Cafe going over shots they wanted to set up for the next weeks filming. "I think a high angle would work here." she suggested pointing out a scene in her screenplay.

"Well, considering that the lead character is contemplating the previous scene's events, shouldn't it be done by his perspective?" Mark asked looking it over.

"You think?" she asked looking over it again.

"Don't you?" he asked as if it were obvious.

"Yeah, maybe. See, that's why we're such good partners. You catch what I miss." she smiled over at him before something caught her eye. Roger walked into the cafe and caught a glimpse of Mark and Jami sitting at a corner table. He had seen Jami around the neighborhood and heard Mark rattle on about her, but never actually spoke to her. He thought she was beautiful, but her and Mark had so much in common, that there could really be something there if they wanted there to be. He didn't want to get in the way of anything developing between them. "Hey, that's your roommate? Roger, right?" she asked, trying to play it cool.

"Yeah, he's probably waiting for Nate." he looked back at him, as she tried not to stare at Roger standing at the bar. "Do you want to finally meet him?" he offered as she looked down timidly into her coffee cup.

"Sure." she smiled looking over at him.

"Sure." he smiled. They got up from their table and walked over to Roger at the bar. He had a beer bottle brought up to his lips, taking a swig. "Roger, hey." he smiled up at his friend.

"Hey Mark. What are you doing here? I thought you were working." he asked setting his beer on the bar.

"We are working. I just wanted to introduce you to my partner. This is Jami Barnett, Jami, this is my roommate Roger Davis." he smiled as she turned into a shy, timid girl.

"It's... it's really nice to finally meet you. Mark speaks very highly of you." she stuttered like a school girl, taking Mark by surprise.

"Yeah, you too." he extended his hand to her giving it a quick shake. "You work at the store across the street too, right?"

"Um… yeah. Part time." she confirmed looking up at him.

"You don't happen to play bass too, do you?" he asked flirtatiously, taking her by surprise.

"Um... I... I don't. No. Sorry."

"Oh, no problem. So what are you guys doing here?" he asked looking back at Mark.

"We've been here all day working." he explained as Jami stood by silently. Not a characteristic Mark was used to in her.

"Alright, well I won't keep you. I just came out for a beer. I'm supposed to be meeting Nate in a little while. We're going around to some of the old dives to check out bass players." he said looking over at Jami curiously. He had heard Mark yammer on about her and how outgoing and funny she was, but she seemed nothing like that at this moment. He wanted to talk to her more, but she wasn't saying much and she seemed to be in another world.

"OK, I'll see you later." Mark said beginning to walk away when Jami finally spoke again.

"See you later Roger." She called out nervously.

"Yeah, it was nice to meet you Jami. Maybe I'll see you around." he smiled before picking up his beer bottle and drinking from it again.

"What is wrong with you? You were like this school girl or something." Mark asked looking over at her.

"Nothing... nothing is wrong with me. Can we drop it please?" she was blushing as they walked over to their table.

"Oh man, you like him." Mark quietly accused.

"Shut up Mark. He'll hear you." her face grew a deeper shade of red.

"So you don't deny it." he smiled sitting down.

"Yeah, I like Roger. He seems nice." she said avoiding his gaze.

"No, I mean you like him, like him." he taunted looking over at her.

"Fine, OK. I like him, like him. Are you happy now? I admitted it. What are we in high school?" she asked avoiding looking at Roger again.

"Apparently so." he laughed looking over at her. "Jami, it's not a big deal. He's good looking and he's a musician. Girls tend to like him for that." he said looking back at Roger.

"Don't look at him. He'll think we're talking about him." she grabbed his arm firmly.

"We are." he laughed looking over at her.

"But I don't want him to know that. God, why do you have to be like that? I swear you're like my brothers." she leaned down closer to the table avoiding Roger's glance.

"What is wrong with you? You're acting nuttier than usual." he laughed finding her behavior amusing.

"Apparently, I have a thing for Roger Davis, who doesn't even know I exist." she mumbled looking down at the papers strewn all over the table.

"He does too know you exist. You just met him. I was there." he smiled down at her.

"Yeah well, I'm sure the last thing he needs is another girl falling all over him like a groupie or something." she groaned leaning back in her chair.

"He'd be lucky if a smart, beautiful woman like you fell all over him." he muttered looking over at her.

"Mark, I..."

"Don't worry about it Jami. We're friends. Nothing more. I'm just saying that Roger could do worse. Hell, he has done worse. I've seen it with my own eyes." he told her looking over his shoulder casually seeing Roger throwing back drinks with Nate, who had arrived while he was talking to Jami.

"I don't know what's wrong with me. I mean, ever since I saw him in your documentary... I don't know, I just saw that he was more than that guy in the beginning who was pissed off at the world for what happened to his life."

"There's nothing wrong with you Jami. There is a lot more to him than that guy. Sure he's a great singer, an amazing song writer and a pretty good guitarist..."

"Do you have a man crush on your best friend?" she giggled looking up at him.

"No wise ass. I'm just saying, he's also a great guy with a good heart. You could do worse too." he smiled reaching over to touch her hand.

"Thanks Mark." she smiled looking over at him.

"Is that Mark's girl?" Nate asked looking over at Roger.

"I don't know. They work together and spend all their time together, so I guess it's possible." he shrugged finishing his beer.

"Come on, we got bass players to look at." Nate finished his beer as well before tugging Roger's arm. He was staring at Jami. If she and Mark were together, he didn't want to get in between that. Losing Maureen to Joanne was bad enough. The last thing he needed was to lose a girl to his best friend. Someone he had done so much to save. But he had to admit, Mark had good taste. She was beautiful. Breathtaking even. He gave Mark and Jami one last glance before leaving the cafe with Nate. His eyes met Jami's as Nate dragged him out the door.

"Are you gonna tell him you like him, or am I gonna be subjected to this high school flashback for a while?" Mark teased as Roger left the cafe.

"Mark, how am I gonna tell him? 'Um... hi. Um... Roger, I... I um... I like you.' I can't even speak around him. You saw me. I was a bumbling idiot. He tried to make a joke and I totally fell off a cliff." she complained looking over at him.

"Listen, I happen to know he puts his pants on one leg at a time like everyone else." Mark joked.

"You are not funny Cohen. I'm serious. I'm a tongue tied moron when I get close to him. Damn, I've always been a geek when it came to talking to guys. Case in point, my involuntary celibacy for the last 3 years." she sat slumped down in her chair scratching the edge of the table with her finger nail.

"Look, Roger's a nice guy. He's a little awkward around women too. And if it helps, I think he likes you too." he smiled over at her, trying to make her feel better.

"You think so?" she asked perking up.

"Yeah, I really do."

"How could you possibly know that? I mean, we only met for 2 minutes and he talked to you the whole time." she asked folding her arms across her chest.

"I saw the way he was looking at you." Mark felt like he was 19 years old again. Girls would approach him, knowing he was friends with Roger and they would try to get an introduction or an invite back to their table, just so they could get close to Roger Davis.

"I'm sorry Mark. I'm being pathetic. I shouldn't be trying to make the moves on your best friend. We're partners and it would be awkward if I was dating your roommate." she said looking over at him.

"How would it be awkward? You'd be hanging around us all the time? I don't think you've noticed, but we've been hanging out constantly for the last 4 months. I like hanging out with you. I do consider you my friend. I wouldn't mind if you dated Roger. You guys are my best friends at this point in time. It would be fun. And who knows, maybe Roger will find a female bass player and I'll be dating her. How screwed up would that be?" he smiled looking over at her.

"It wouldn't be screwed up Mark. You deserve to find someone too. Maybe in another time, another place, you and I could have hooked up. You're a great guy Mark." she smiled reaching over the table to touch his hand.

"Thanks Jami." he smiled at her before they went back to work.


	2. Chapter 2

The next morning, Mark was up making coffee. He didn't have to meet up with Jami until 11, so he decided to make himself some breakfast and sit at the window to enjoy a leisurely morning to himself. Roger was out so late, Mark didn't hear him come in. He poured himself a cup of coffee and brought his bagel to the window. He cracked it open to feel the crisp morning breeze. As he breathed it in, Roger's bedroom door creaked open. He looked up, watching his best friend shuffle into the kitchen and wordlessly pour himself a cup of coffee. He waited for Roger to take his first sip before speaking to him. "Out late?" Mark asked smirking over at him.

"You can say that." he groaned continuing to drink his coffee.

"Any luck?" Mark asked, keeping his questions short and simple. In the morning, Roger wasn't capable of lengthy conversations.

"Nah, it was a bust. Too many damn kids. So me and Nate just got drunk." he sipped his coffee again before sitting on the stool by the counter.

"Sorry to hear that. I know how much you wanted to find a bass player." Mark said getting up from the window.

"Yeah, well I'm not rushing it. I'm looking for something specific." he said bringing the coffee mug up to his lips again.

"I know man. You'll find it. Listen, me and Jami are hoping to get some work done today, but later we wanted to just hang out. Do you want to come?" Mark asked walking over to him.

"I... I don't want to be a third wheel with you and your girl." he answered looking up from his coffee.

"She's not my girl. There's nothing going on between me and Jami. We're just partners at work and we're friends. That's it." Mark insisted looking over at him.

"Why... why not? She's beautiful and you deserve to have a girlfriend Mark." he said getting up from his seat.

"I'm not attracted to her. And besides, she likes you." Mark smiled looking over at him.

"She... she does?" Roger asked, trying not to sound too enthusiastic.

"Don't look so surprised." Mark chuckled looking over at him.

"It's just... I thought you and her... were." he looked over at him.

"Well we're not. I mean, she's beautiful and smart and everything, but we work together. It would never work." he laughed looking over at him.

"Yeah but..." he started when Mark cut him off.

"Rog, it's cool. I know you like her, go for it. You've done worse." Mark smiled sitting on the couch.

"I do like her, but I thought you and her were together." he stuttered looking over at him.

"Well, we're not. Do... do you wanna hang out with us?" he asked looking over at him.

"What time do you have to meet her?" Roger smirked over at him.

"11. She worked the late shift at the store last night, so we're getting a late start." he smiled not looking at him.

"I'm gonna go... get ready." Roger slowly got up and went into his bedroom closing the door quietly. Mark smiled to himself before getting up to go to the phone. He knew Jami wouldn't be up at 9 in the morning. Especially since they weren't meeting until later that morning, but he liked waking her up. She was funny early in the morning. He dialed the number and waited for her to pick up. The phone rang 5 times before she answered.

"Someone better be dead, or so help me..." she groaned into the phone.

"Rise and shine pumpkin." he giggled into the phone.

"Marcus Hiam Cohen. Are you out of your geeky little mind? You know I didn't get off until late last night. Do you have any idea what time it is?" she asked sweeping the hair out of her face before looking up at the clock next to her bed.

"I'm sorry, but I figured you'd like a little advanced notice that you're meeting me and Roger at the cafe." he smiled.

"You and..? Mark what did you do?" she asked bolting up in her bed. Her hair was sticking up all over the place.

"I talked to Roger and he's coming with me to the cafe, to hang out." he told her, proud of himself.

"Mark, you told him? How could you tell him I like him? I can't believe you." she was clearly angry and embarrassed.

"But Jami, he..." he stuttered surprised by her reaction.

"You told him and now he probably thinks I'm a dork who needs someone to step up for me. Thanks Mark." she ranted throwing the covers off of her, getting out of the bed.

"He likes you too, you know? He thought you and me were..." he started when she interrupted him.

"He likes me? Um... are you sure? Did he say, he likes me or is that what it sounded like?" she rambled changing her tone.

"He said it. Flat out. He... he thought you and me were together, but I told him we were just friends. Then I told him that we were hanging out at the cafe and he should come, he asked what time, and then he went into his room to get ready." he smiled as she sat heavily on the bed.

"He... but... what if... what if he's not..." she started when Mark interrupted her.

"Jami, breathe. Stop over thinking it. Just get ready and meet me at the cafe at 11. We'll go on from there." he said trying to calm her.

"We're not gonna get any work done today, are we?" she chuckled holding the phone to her ear.

"I have a feeling not, but it's OK. I have a few things I can take care of on my own. I'll see you at 11." he smiled listening to Roger open and close the dresser drawers in his room.

"See you at 11 Mark. Oh... and Mark..." she started.

"No problem Jami. See you at 11." he interrupted knowing what she was thinking before hanging up the phone. He went into his room to prepare for an interesting day. He knew he wasn't gonna be needed for too long. Once Jami and Roger began talking, he would be able to sneak away, leaving them to get to know each other. They already knew a lot about one another through him, but he knew there would be a lot for them to talk about, outside of what he told them. It made him smile. It had been over 2 years since Mimi died and Roger never showed an interest in moving on until now. And in the time he's known Jami, she had always been a good friend, who deserved to be happy. He knew it would tough, but they had it in them to have a good relationship. Jami already knew about the HIV, Mimi, April and the drugs, so those cards were already on the table. That was one less hurdle for them to jump over. He finished getting ready smiling from ear to ear.

Jami rifled through her dresser drawers for clothes to wear for her meeting with Roger. She rushed over to her closet to go through the clothes in there. She decided to give up and jump in the shower.

Roger and Mark sat in the Life Café, drinking coffee. They looked mismatched waiting for the same woman. Roger fidgeted with one of the silver rings on his fingers as Mark drank his coffee. Roger glanced at his watch for the 10th time since they walked into the semi crowded café. "Would you relax? She'll be here." Mark smiled at Roger, mildly amused.

"It's a quarter past. What's taking so long?" he asked tapping his fingers on the table.

"I'd say she's fashionably late." Mark smiled pointing to the door. Jami stood looking around for Mark. The ponytail he was used to seeing her in was gone. Replaced by long, flowing ringlets that sat on her leather covered shoulders. Black liner lined her blue eyes. She wore a light pink V neck, form fitting sweater that showed a subtle hint of cleavage. Her black skinny jeans fit her slender legs and led down to a pair of black leather, high heeled boots. A short black leather jacket topped off her outfit. She looked breathtaking. Nothing like the sweat suits or straight legged jeans he was used to seeing her in. Roger rose from his chair. "I'm just gonna..." he started quietly walking over to her.

Seeing Roger walk towards her made her heart nearly leap out of her chest. He looked like he usually did, but that's one of the reasons she liked him. He was wearing a black t-shirt and jeans with his leather jacket. But there was something different about him. He seemed nervous. That amused her.

"Um… hi. Thanks… um, thanks for meeting me here." he stammered over his words like a nervous high school boy.

"Thanks for inviting me. I… I hope you weren't waiting long." she smiled quietly.

"No, we… we just got here ourselves." he covered smiling down at her.

"You're lying, but thanks." she laughed.

"You… you look beautiful. I hope this wasn't for me." he told her. His voice was quiet.

"Um… I…" she started. Disappointment filling her voice.

"I only say that because… I think you… you look beautiful all the time." he slowly reached down for her hand. He grazed his hand against hers.

"Even in my baggy sweats?" she asked looking into his eyes.

"Especially in your baggy sweats. With… with you dressed like this, I… I can't think straight." he confessed.

"Really?" she was surprised.

"Um… yeah." he smiled curling his calloused fingers around hers. "Do you… do you want to sit with us?" he asked towering over her.

"I… I think Mark left." she noticed his empty chair.

"I hope that's not a problem." he asked looking down at her.

"I… I was kind of hoping he would. I wanted to spend some time alone with you anyway." she smiled up at him.

"Um, do you… do you want coffee?" he asked leading her to the table before pulling her chair out.

"Sure." she smiled up at him as he sat down in his chair.

"Um, I'm… I'm really sorry I had Mark invite you. I… should have, but I… I had to make sure Mark didn't have a thing for you. It.. it wouldn't make me a very good friend if I tried to steal his girl from him. I've… I've taken enough from him." he said looking down at the table.

"The way he tells it, you've given him more than he gave up for you." she told him quietly.

"You've… you've really been there for him this past year or so, haven't you?" he looked over at her.

"No more than he's been there for me. But we're just friends." she said looking over at him.

"Well I'm glad he's got you. I… I haven't been around much lately. But I'm hoping to change that." he smirked.

"Roger, he understands that you're following your dream. He doesn't begrudge you for that. He's actually very proud of you. He wants to see you back on stage. He… he knows how talented you are." she smiled as the waiter came over to pour Jami's coffee and freshen up Rogers.

"He says you're very talented too. He… he's a big fan of your work." he stammered looking into his eyes.

"More like, he likes the concept of my work. He's… he's adding stuff that I never thought about." she smiled, butterflies fluttering around in her stomach.

"Mark's got a head for details. I'm sure he's only adding little things." he smiled at her.

"Um, I know we… we got here because of Mark, but can we stop talking about him? I… I was hoping, we could get to know each other better." she smiled over at him.

"You're… you're right. I'm… I'm sorry." he smiled at her.

"It's OK. It's just… Mark speaks very highly of you. I want to know the real Roger Davis." she smiled picking up her coffee mug taking a sip.

"What about you? I… I hardly know anything about you." he smiled sitting back in his chair.

"OK, well I'm the youngest of 6 kids. My brothers are all married with like 3 or 4 kids each. All boys. My… my dad named me James because that was the only name they came up with when my mom was pregnant with me. They… they didn't expect me to be a girl. I'm the only girl born into my family, so I learned pretty quickly that I needed to find something that occupied my time. That's when I started writing." she fidgeted with her coffee mug.

"Must… must have been lonely." his voice was sympathetic.

"Yeah, it… it was. I graduated high school and fought my dad to let me go to NYU. I had to get a job to help pay for it, but I didn't give up. But then he… he died when I was a quarter of the way through my sophomore year, so I had to drop out. I… I had to start working part time at the grocery store in addition to the production company, but I had to so I could afford my own apartment. I couldn't continue living in the dorms if I wasn't going to school. I was an assistant at the production company until a few months ago. Then I was eating lunch one day, writing and this geeky guy came stumbling in and struck up a conversation with me. He looked at my writing and talked my boss into letting him work with me. The rest, as they say is history. I mean, I'm still an assistant, kind of, but they're giving me time off to film my screenplay. If it's any good, they'll make me a paid screen writer, or not." she tapped her thumb nail on the mug.

"They'll love it. You'll see." he reached over to touch her hand. Taken by surprise, Jami jumped. Spilling her coffee on the table and all over her sweater and jeans.

"Dammit. That's hot." she called out pushing back from the table, startled.

"Oh my god. Are you OK?" he asked jumping up to help clean up the coffee.

"Yeah, I'm just a hopeless klutz. I'm sorry, you just startled me, that's all." she apologized cleaning her sweater and pants to no avail. "I… I gotta get home and soak this sweater."

"That's OK. I… I understand." he was disappointed thinking their day was cut short.

"If... if you want to come with me, I can soak this in the sink and change my clothes." she continued dabbing her sweater.

"I'd… I'd like that. Yeah." he stammered trying to hide his excitement at that statement. He finished cleaning the table off of the table before tossing the napkins on the table.

"I'm sorry I'm such a klutz." she apologized tossing her handful of napkins on the table near Rogers pile.

"That's OK. Mark warned me. I… I think it's cute. I… I was hoping you didn't lose that when you made this little transformation." he chucked looking over at her.

"Very funny. Unfortunately it's not that simple." she couldn't help but laugh with him.

"I'm glad. I like a beautiful woman who's clumsy." he smiled paying the check so they could leave.

"I'm glad you're so amused by my misfortune." she teased showing him her hip.

"I told you, I think it's cute. What's wrong with that?" he asked reaching down to take her hand as they walked down the street to her apartment building. She lived in the middle of the block on 10th street.

"Yeah well, then you're gonna think I'm super cute because I'm incredibly clumsy." she laughed taking her key chain out of her jacket pocket and inserting the correct key. Opening the door.

"I can live with that." he laughed following her into the building.


	3. Chapter 3

As they approached her apartment, Roger's palms began sweating. He hasn't been in a womans apartment since Mimi lived below him. He was nervous. "I have to warn you. My whole apartment can fit into your living room." she opened the apartment door.

"This place is so cool." he smiled looking around. The bed was pushed to the far right wall with a dresser and 2 nightstands on either side. It was separated by a beaded curtain. The couch was directly in front of the door with a coffee table in front of it and a kitchenette on the far wall with a short wooden table separating it. There was pink wall paper with butterflies on the wall in the kitchen. They were pink and white ruffled curtains covering the windows. It was evident a woman lived there.

"Thanks. It's all I can afford on my two salaries." she smiled dropping her purse by the door.

"It's cool I... I love it." he smiled looking over at her.

"Why don't you sit down and make yourself comfortable and I'll go get changed?" she smiled walking through pink and purple butterfly beads going into the bedroom.

"OK." he smiled sitting on the couch to wait for her. He noticed a pile of papers on the table written in blue, loopy handwriting. Something caught his eye. He moved up onto the edge of the couch and picked up the top page and began reading.

_Roger Davis was young, good looking and talented beyond his years. Too bad he was the only one who didn't believe that that was enough._

The first page began before he heard the bathroom door open. Jami came out wearing another pair of jeans, except these were boot cut, and she was wearing a long t-shirt. "Are you…" she started before seeing what he was reading. "What are you doing?" she called out rushing over to snatch papers from him.

"I'm sorry. I just…" he stuttered looking up at her. She was holding the papers close to her.

"What did you see?" she asked looking down at him, clearly embarrassed.

"You're... you're writing about me." he stuttered looking up at her.

"Yeah, I… I started writing that about a week ago. It… it was after Mark showed me the footage of you performing. Before… before we actually met. I… I never meant for you to read it. I never meant for anyone to read it. I… I was just..." she walked calmly around to sit on the couch a few inches away from him.

"Mark showed that to you?" he asked surprised.

"I… I asked him to. I hope you don't mind. We... we were talking and he happened to mention that you sang for the Well Hungarian and I remembered seeing you guys at the Pyramid Club a long time ago. I… I really liked you. Then, I got an idea for a story and started writing it. I… I don't know how good it is, but I was just thinking. Jotting stuff down and seeing what it turns into." she explained barely looking at him.

"I… I like it James. What… what I read of it anyway." he announced quietly before reaching out for her hand.

"You did?" she was taken by surprise by his statement.

"It's really good." he spoke softly, looking into her blue eyes.

"I'm… I'm sorry I was writing about you behind your back." she was genuinely sorry.

"Jami, it's OK. It's… it's kind of cool. No one's ever written about me before." he smiled feeling more comfortable around her.

"But it makes me come off like a total stalker." she groaned hiding her face in her hands.

"Maybe a little." he teased as she lifted her head at him embarrassed. "But it doesn't matter." he laughed leaning over a little.

"And why doesn't it matter?" she asked looking into his green eyes.

"Because I'm pretty sure you can't stalk someone who wants to be stalked." he wrapped his arms around her.

"That's not funny Roger." she pouted looking up at him.

"I'm sorry Jami. But it is kind of funny." he chucked kissing her head.

"You're stranger than Mark said." she laughed leaning against him.

"Be my girlfriend James." he blurted out looking down at her.

"Oh sure, make your stalker your girlfriend. Brilliant strategy Davis." she glanced at him amused.

"Not because I think you're my stalker. Because I like you. And you're not a stalker. You're someone who saw something in me that not even I saw. You… you believe in me like no one else has. I… I would be stupid to let someone like that out of my life." he spoke softly lifting his hand to caress her soft face. He leaned down and gently pressed his lips against hers. She leaned up into him more and wrapped her arms around his neck. The kiss deepened as they fell into one another. It seemed like hours until the kiss broke. When it did, they were both breathless. "Um… wow." he exhaled looking into her blue eyes.

"You're telling me?" she sighed, her face beat red from blushing. "This sounds pathetic, but I've been dreaming about what it would be like to kiss you."

"So, how'd I do?" he smiled caressing her face.

"Marvelous." she laughed looking into his mesmerizing green eyes.

"I've been wanting to kiss you um... for a while." he confessed.

"I um... I didn't know that. Um... what made you notice me?" she inquired looking up at him.

"Just the way you laugh with Mark. Fidgeting with your papers. You… you always look so beautiful." he explained.

"Oh, OK." she looked down at his chest. "Now, who's the stalker?" she giggled as he played with her hair. The ringlets wrapped around his fingers.

"Well, I'm your boyfriend so I can't be a stalker." he protested laughing with her.

"Touché." she leaned up to kiss him briefly as he held her close to him.

"Hey. I was thinking…" he began as she interrupted him.

"Uh oh, I'm in trouble now." she laughed nestling herself in his arms.

"You're a comedian, huh?" he observed looking down at her.

"I try to be." she laughed feeling safe for the first time in a long time.

"Do you want to hear my idea, or is there more to this stand up routine?" he asked staring down at her.

"I think I'm done." she conceded looking into his eyes.

"I was thinking we can watch a movie here and maybe order take out." he smiled down at her.

"That's a great idea. But I don't have much in the action genre, though." she sat back on the arm of the couch.

"That's cool. What do you have?" he asked loosening his hold on her.

"Um, romantic comedies, dramas, musicals, vampire movies. You know, the usual chick flicks." she giggled looking up at him.

"That's OK. I'm flexible." he grinned.

"How do you feel about lame 80's movies? We can have a marathon." she suggested looking up at him.

"Do you have anything in a romance?" he asked to her surprise.

"Um, I… I never pegged you as a chick flick man." she smiled up at him.

"Not for me, for you. I'm just happy to be here with you." he smiled over at her.

"I also never pegged you as a sensitive soul. I… I guess I don't know everything about you, do I?" she gazed at him in wonderment.

"I'm more than just a brooding rock star." he was amused referring to himself as a rock star, but Jami believed in him, so he felt anything was possible.

"I'm… I'm looking forward to getting to know that man." she spoke quietly looking down.

"Um, do… do you have popcorn and soda?" he cleared his throat sitting back on the couch.

"Um yeah, I… I have beer too, but it… it's probably too early for that, huh?" she said starting to get up from the couch.

"James, calm down. We… we have all day. We can talk some more if you want." he reached up to take her hand.

"I… I like when you call me by my real name. I… I never liked it before, but… but from you. I… I like it. You make me feel safe. I… I don't know how to explain it." she looked down at him before sitting on the coffee table.

He placed his hands on her knees leaning up on the couch, closer to her. "Me too. I… I haven't felt this comfortable around anyone in… in a really long time. And even then, I was afraid to admit it." he confessed looking up at her.

"Roger, it's… it's OK to move on. You… you don't need to feel guilty for wanting to go on with your life." her voice was shaky as she set her hands on top of his, taking his strong hands into her soft delicate ones.

"I don't feel guilty James. I... I want to move on with you James. I'm… I'm just sorry that I may not be around as long as I would like to be." he looked up into her beautiful, vibrant blue eyes.

"Roger, none of us are guaranteed forever. Mark… Mark taught me that. We just live with the time we have. I'll take whatever time I can get with you." she whispered leaning in to kiss him. He reached out, wrapping his arms around her waist, bringing her onto his lap. As she straddled his body, the kiss turned heated. She raised her hands to run them through his blond hair. He pressed his hands to the small of her back. He kissed her passionately with emotional abandon.

When the kiss broke, Roger sat back against the couch, attempting to regain his composure. "We… we need to slow down." he whispered.

"I know. You're… you're right. We… we need to calm down." she gulped moving off of his lap.

"I don't want to hurt you James. And if we…"

"You hurting me is the last thing I'm worried about." she said looking over at him.

"It's a big step Jami. I… I don't want to be careless with your life. Especially with…" he started caressing her face.

"I know." she smiled at him. She sat up wrapping her arms around his neck, kissing him lightly. "Um... how... how about I get us a couple of sodas so… so we could cool off and we can talk for a while. I… I want to know everything about you." she suggested stroking the back of his neck.

"Mm, I like what we're doing now better." he closed his eyes, leaning back into her hands.

"You're just a big kitty, aren't you?" she giggled throwing her had back, exposing her slender neck.

"I've never been described as a kitty before, but I guess you bring out that side of me. I… I feel like I can be myself with you. I don't feel like I have to be something I'm not. Like I have to uphold an image or something."

"You don't Roger. You can be yourself with me. Plus, it'll make it easier for me to finish my story." she smiled laying a soft, tender kiss on his cheek before getting up from the couch.

"I… I think I'd like to help you with that." he smiled up at her as she reached into the refrigerator for 2 cans of soda.

"Good, because you're my favorite subject. You… you always have been. Ever since Mark showed me his films." she admitted sitting next to him, handing him a soda.

"What was it about what you saw?" he asked popping open the can.

"You're transformation in that documentary interested me at first, but then he started showing me older reels and… I don't know, you… you drew me in. Especially the reels of you on stage performing." she broke into a smile avoiding his gaze.

"I want you to see me on stage again. I… I want to sing for you." he stammered sitting his can of soda on the coffee table.

"So do it. Get your band together and do it." she reached over to caress his clean shaved face.

"Just like that?" he asked looking over at her.

"Yep. Just like that." She smiled.

"You are an impossible woman." he grinned over at her.

"That's the idea." she chuckled kissing him again. "So, who's the real Roger Davis?" she took a sip of her soda before sitting back, bringing her legs up to her chest.

"The real Roger Davis doesn't exist yet, but I'm… I'm trying to find him." he sat back gripping his soda can.

"I hope I can have a part in helping you find him." she smirked.

"I have a feeling you're gonna be a very big part of that." he smiled at her.

"I'd be honored." she reached out for his hand. "OK, tell me about your family." she tried to lighten the mood.

"I'm the second of 4 kids. There's Chris, then me, then Doug and then my little sister Heather. She's like 22 now. I... I haven't seen her much since I left home. What with the drugs and HIV and stuff... my dad died when I was a teenager. But he was awesome. My mom's pretty cool too. I want you to meet them." he smiled looking over at her.

"I'd... I'd like that." she smiled. They continued talking and getting to know one another. After a few hours, they ordered Chinese food and popped open a couple of beers. Roger picked out a movie and they began watching it. The film was the romance drama Untamed Heart with Christian Slater and Marisa Tomei. Jami had seen it many times, but she still cried throughout the film.

"Are you always this emotional with this movie?" he chucked amused by her display of emotions.

"Shut up. You're as bad as Mark." she laughed wiping her eyes as he kissed her head, holding her in his arms.

"What? I think it's cute that you've seen this movie before and you still cry." his voice squeaked laughing.

"It's romantic. I mean, he loves her so much and despite the fact that he's dying, he makes her see that there's so much of life to live. He doesn't want her to give up on it when he's gone." she sniffled looking up at him.

"I guess we can relate to that concept, huh?" he pointed out caressing her hair.

"Roger, I…" she stuttered before he interrupted her.

"It's OK James. It's… it's true. I mean, no… no matter what happens between us, I… I wouldn't want you to give up on life. Ever."

"I… I don't want to talk about this." she stammered getting up to switch off the VCR.

"We can't act like it doesn't exist." he looked over at her.

"No, but we don't have to talk about this now. I… I only want to see where this leads and enjoy what develops. I… I don't want to live my life around when you're gone." she spoke quietly turning around to look at him. She was sitting on the floor in front of the television set. The coffee table between them.

"Baby, I don't want to do that either. I'm just saying, when the time comes, I… I want you to live your life for the future." he got up sitting on the coffee table in front of her.

"If I say I will, can… can we stop talking about this? Please?" she pleaded tears filling her eyes. He leaned down, wrapping his arms around her.

"OK James, I'm… I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you." he whispered comforting her.

"You didn't do this. For... for months I've been thinking about you. Being right here, right now and I.. I've thought about how much you deserve a second chance. How… how unfair it is that you're gonna be gone too soon. My… my feelings may be new to you, but they aren't new. I've… I've lost sleep over the fact that you're gonna be gone from this earth sooner than… than this world is ready to lose you. The last thing I want to do is talk about this." she whimpered into his chest.

"I get it James. I… I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you." he spoke softly cradling her to him.

"You don't get it Roger. Even before I met you, I cared about you. I… I had feelings for you." she looked up at him, tears falling from her blue eyes.

"But that wasn't me James. I mean… yeah it was me, but… but it was me before I… I had baggage. I was… I was young and stupid. That's not who I am now." he explained looking down at her.

"But I saw past that stupid kid, and the insecure scared man that kid became. I… I saw someone who deserved a do over. Needed a do over. Someone who had more to offer the world." she informed him reaching up to touch his face.

"You saw all that?" he asked leaning back.

"You said it yourself. Mark's a great filmmaker." she smiled through her tears.

"I guess so. But I… I wish he was a better story teller. I… I never imagined, by the way he spoke about you, that you'd be so observant or great to be with." he smiled at her.

"Yeah well, some things we need to learn on our own." she stared up at him admiringly.


	4. Chapter 4

It was past dawn when Roger entered the loft. He had been out all night. Hanging out with Jami. His new girlfriend. Mark was sitting on the couch, thumbing through the newspaper. Roger closed the door quietly behind him. Mark looked up at him and smirked. "Are you just getting home from your date?" he teased looking up.

"We were… we were just hanging out, talking, watching… watching movies." He stuttered taking his jacket off.

"It's cool Roger. I'm… I'm glad you guys are getting along." He smiled at him.

"We're… were more than getting along. We're… we're going out. Mark, she's… she's my girlfriend." He told him, sitting on the arm chair.

"That's great Roger. I'm really happy for you. Both of you." He set the newspaper aside on the couch."

"She's incredible Mark. How… how come you never told me how incredible she is? I mean, she's beautiful, clumsy, funny, cries at chick flicks and she's talented. Real… real talented. And she's sensitive and caring. Had I known how great she was I'd… I'd have stolen her from you a long time ago." He joked looking over at him.

"I'm really glad you like her Roger." he was happy seeing his friend so taken by a woman.

"I… I really do owe you." Roger smiled at him.

"Yeah, I'd…I'd say you do. But you better not get in the way of our work. We have a real chance at making her screen play into something spectacular." Mark looked over at him.

"Of course not. I would never get in the way of either of you making something great. And with James as the writer and you directing, how could it not be?" he smiled getting up from his chair. "I'm gonna get some sleep. You're meeting Jami in 4 hours and after that we have a date." He exclaimed going towards the room.

"Where are you taking me?" Mark joked.

"No wonder why you and Jami get along so well. You're both comedians." he yelled laughing before shutting his door behind him. Mark chucked picking up his paper and reading it again.

Roger sat on his bed, removing his boots, thinking about his nearly 20 hours with Jami. They kissed, talked, watched movies and laughed the entire time. He truly enjoyed being with her. He slipped out of his jeans before lying down in his bed and drifting off to sleep. A small, content smile on his face.

10am: Mark sat in the Life Café, waiting for Jami. Roger was still sleeping when he left, so he let him sleep. He was afraid if he woke him, that him and Jami would never get any work done. The door opened and Jami walked in. her hair was in a pony tail and she was wearing sunglasses. Her over sized sweatshirt and jeans made it evident that she had just woken up. "Good morning sunshine." He teased handing her a coffee mug. He loaded it up the way she liked it. Light with plenty of sugar.

"Marcus Hiam, don't start." She groaned taking the mug from him before sitting down in her chair.

"What happened? Didn't get much sleep last night?" he asked looking over at her.

"Like you didn't get the 411 at 5:30 this morning from Roger." she sipped her coffee desperately.

"He speaks very highly of you." Mark smiled at her.

"Thanks Mark. I owe you." She smiled taking her sunglasses off.

"No you don't. I'm just looking to see my friends happy. He is happy, you know? I haven't seen him like that in a long time." he smiled over at him. She wasn't wearing makeup, but she was glowing.

"I'm happy too. He's great. We talked all day and night. I think he knows as much about me as you do. He's… he's funny and sweet and sensitive. He even watched Untamed Heart with me." She laughed looking over at him. "He laughed at me, but he watched it with me."

"And you cried." he teased looking over at her

"Mark, I swear to god…" she groaned through her teeth.

"OK fine, I'm sorry. But we've seen that movie a million times and you cry every time." He laughed at her.

"Whatever. Anyway, can we get some work done? I… I kind of have a date with Roger later." She smirked at him.

"I heard. So what do you have planned?" he asked drinking his coffee.

"I don't know exactly. He said it was a surprise. I'm in trouble, aren't I?" she laughed before picking up her coffee.

"With Roger, it could be anything. But trust him. Wherever he takes you, it's gonna be good. You'll love it." He smiled looking over at her.

"I do. Trust him. God help me, I've never trusted anyone the way I trust him." She smiled looking down at her mug. They began working. Setting up the next day's shots. It was just after 1 when they ordered lunch. They were bickering about filming styles, like they always do when Roger walked in. He stared over at Jami, who was laughing, throwing her head back. Her pony tail swung as she laughed. He smiled watching her as he's been doing since she came into Mark's life. He couldn't believe how beautiful she looked. No makeup, her hair in a pony tail, in an over sized sweatshirt. Then it hit him. He was staring at his girlfriend. He smiled to himself before walking over to them. "Hey, is this a private party, or can anyone join?" he smiled leaning down to kiss Jami.

"Hey, what are you doing here?" She asked wrapping her arms around his neck as he picked her up into his arms.

"I missed my girl." He smiled kissing her again.

"I missed you too." She giggled holding him tight.

"I take it we're done working?" Mark asked looking up at him. He was gathering up the papers that littered the table.

"No, I just came for some lunch. I don't want to interrupt your work." Roger said looking over at him.

"Actually, I think we're done for today, right Mark?" Jami asked as Roger let her down.

"Yeah, I think we are. But tomorrow she's all mine. We have filming to do." He announced looking up at Roger.

"As long as you return her to me safe and sound. I'm good with that. I have a couple of auditions set up for tomorrow anyway." He told him as Jami looked up at him.

"Real auditions? That's great." She smiled looking up at him.

"Yeah well, my girlfriend wants tickets to see me front row center." He smiled with his arms around her.

"Oh lord." Mark groaned leaning back in his chair.

"Poor Marky. We made him the third wheel." Jami giggled looking down at him.

"That's OK. But I think this is my cue to leave." He started to get up.

"Mark, we're sorry. You can stay. We'll be good, we promise." Roger smiled, sitting down obediently.

"It's OK. I'm glad you two are happy together." He smiled at them.

"Well, we'll try not to be so happy. At least around you." Jami laughed looking over at him.

"I appreciate that, thanks." He laughed noticing Roger reach for Jami's hand.

"How about we finish eating and we can let Mark off the hook." Roger asked looking over at her.

"OK, is that OK with you Mark?" Jami asked smiling over at Mark.

"Yeah, I wanted to do some scouting in the park anyway." Mark smiled at them.

"Thanks Mark." Roger smiled at him as they ate. After lunch, Mark left the café, leaving Roger and Jami alone.

"Alone at last." Jami teased looking up at Roger. Her boyfriend.

"So, what do you want to do?" he asked leaning in to her.

"Oh no, you promised me a date. I'm gonna collect." She leaned closer to him.

"That's tonight. I meant today. Anything you want. Name it." He smiled at her.

"How about we go to a movie? Unless that's where you're taking me tonight." She suggested looking up at him.

"Nope, we're safe there." He smiled, acting mysterious.

"You're really gonna make me wait until tonight, aren't you?" she asked obviously irritated.

"Yep." He was cocky as he grinned at her.

"You're so frustrating." She pinched his arm.

"Ow, ow, ow. Woman, do you really want to play?" he called out starting to tickle her.

"No, no, no. I'll stop." She laughed loudly, squirming in his arms.

He leaned in to kiss her. He couldn't help himself. He was falling for her and wanted to always feel her body next to his. "Should we just go back to my place and scrap the movie?" she asked breaking the kiss.

"As tempting as that offer is, no. I want to take my girlfriend to a movie." He whispered gazing into her eyes.

"OK, but shouldn't I at least change?" she asked caressing his face.

"Nope. You look gorgeous just the way you are." He smiled at her.

"You always say that." She giggled looking at him.

"Well it's true." He beamed.

"You're impossible." She laughed holding him close.


	5. Chapter 5

After the movie, Roger and Jami returned to her apartment. As they stood outside, they leaned against the building, kissing. "I'll pick you up in an hour and a half, OK?" he whispered between kisses.

"What should I wear?" she asked holding on to the front of his shirt.

"Something sexy." She answered leaning over her.

"That's not helpful. You think I look sexy in sweats." She whined looking up at him.

"Just wear something nice. A dress maybe." He gazed down into her eyes lifting his hand to caress her cheek, sweeping back a stray hair that had fallen out of her pony tail.

"Fine, be that way." She pouted folding her arms across her chest.

"I promise, it's gonna be a night to remember." He put his hands on her shoulders leaning down to kiss her again.

"I have a feeling that I'm gonna remember every moment I spend with you." She whispered kissing him again.

"You better go start getting ready. I'll see you later." He smiled down at her.

"OK. I'll… I'll see you in an hour and a half." She turned to open the door, but he reached down for her hand. She spun around throwing her arms around him, pressing her lips against his, kissing him passionately.

"Now you better go." He smiled kissing her again.

"I don't want to go. And I don't want you to go either." She whispered holding him tight.

"Me neither, but we have to start getting ready for our date. I have an amazing night planned." He whispered seductively.

"OK fine. I'll see you later." She smiled letting go of him. She went inside and closed the door behind her. She excitedly rushed up to stairs to her apartment to start getting ready for her date.

An hour and a half later, Jami slipped into her black high heeled shoes before straightening her short black dress. She stood in front of the full length mirror on her bathroom door and did a quick turn. Once she was satisfied with her appearance, she primped her hair before making sure he make up was perfect. The bell rang, indicating that Roger was downstairs. She buzzed him in before leaning down to her bed to retrieve her red shawl. There was a knock at the door and she crossed the apartment to answer it. When she opened the door, Roger stood before her, he was wearing a dark purple button down shirt, dress pants and a black blazer. His shirt was unbuttoned a third of the way down and his hair was neatly gelled. "Oh my… you look…" she stammered looking up at him.

"James, wow. You... you look incredible. When I said sexy, I never expected sexy and elegant." He smiled looking down at her in her spaghetti strap black dress.

"I… I wasn't sure what to wear, so I thought I'd play it safe. Wow, I… I don't know what to say." She was breathless at the sight of him.

"If you think this is amazing, just wait until you see what I have planned for the evening." He smiled, holding his hand out for hers.

"I'm sorry, I just… I never expected this. I was expecting you to be the one who would be rendered speechless." She smiled up at him.

"You do look incredible James." He smiled leaning down to kiss her lips. Careful, not to smudge her lip gloss.

"So now will you tell me where we're going?" She asked looking up at him.

"Nope, it's a surprise." He smiled leading her out the door and down the two flights of stairs.

"Oh come on Roger, not even a little, itty bitty hint?" she asked looking up at him as they left the building.

"James, do you trust me?" he asked looking down at her.

"Yes I do. Probably more... more than I should." She whispered up at him.

"So trust me." He looked down at her tenderly.

"OK." She squeaked looking up into his kind, admiring eyes. They walked around the corner towards the loft. "What are we doing here? Did you forget something?" she asked looking up at him.

"Um, not exactly." He smiled, leading her into the building and up the stairs. When they go to the loft, he opened the door, revealing candles. Candles everywhere. The whole main room was lit with them. The metal table was moved to the window with candles, a single red rose in a bud vase, 2 plates and 2 wine glasses.

"This is…" she exhaled breathlessly.

"What do you think?" he asked as she slowly entered the loft.

"I don't know what to say. This is the most amazing thing anyone's ever done for me." She looked around in disbelief.

"Too bad. You deserve magical things." He told her quietly before nervously walking over to the refrigerator for the wine. He opened the oven door, sprinkled shredded cheese on whatever was in there before closing it and continuing to the table.

"What… um, what is that in there?" she asked walking over to him.

"Just a little something I made for dinner. Do you wanna sit down and have a glass of wine, until it's done?" he asked taking the cork out of the bottle and pouring the wine into the glasses.

"Um, yeah. Thank you." She smiled taking the half full glass of red wine. They sat by the window, the city sky light illuminating the sky. "This is incredible Roger. How did you do all of this?" She asked taking a sip of her wine.

"Mark helped a little, but I cooked the dinner. It's not much, just lasagna, but I made it myself. It's my mom's recipe." He sipped his wine.

"Did you mean it? When… when you said I deserve magical things?" she asked sitting on the window seat.

"Of course I did. You… you deserve the world James." He whispered sitting next to her.

"All I want is you Roger." She smiled reaching back to put her wine glass behind her.

"I wish I could give you everything you deserve." He looked down at her regretfully.

"You've um… you have given me so much already. I'm the luckiest girl on earth right now." She smiled up at him.

"I like being with you. I… I don't know how I made it through without you in my life." He reached over caressing her face before leaning in to kiss her.

"Me neither." She whispered, her eyes closed, enjoying the feel of his hand on her face.

"I… I better get the lasagna out of the oven. Before… before it burns." He spoke quietly.

"OK." She smiled watching him cross the loft putting the oven mitt on and reaching into the oven. He took the pan out and brought it to the table.

"Dinner is served." He smiled placing it on the table.

"That looks amazing Roger." She smiled taking a seat at the table.

"Only the finest cuisine for my girl." He smiled, picking up her wine glass from the window seat, placing it in front of her.

"Would it be weird if I made a toast." She asked looking over at him.

"No, I… I think that would be nice." He smiled picking up his glass.

"To us. To… to the future." She smiled holding her glass up as he reached over, clanking glasses with hers.

"To our future." He smiled before taking a sip. Roger cut the lasagna and they ate their dinner, talking about her writing, his music, anything they could think of. Roger told amusing stories about Collins and when he first moved to the city. When it was him, Mark, Collins, Benny and Maureen. When they finished dinner, Roger got up to clear the table. Jami washed the dishes with him and they returned to the window seat and continued talking. Roger leaned against one wall and Jami leaned into his arms. They sat together kissing and laughing together.

"Um, I… I hate to bring this up, but where's Mark?" Jami asked wrapped in Roger's arms.

"I… I kind of had him stay downstairs in one of the vacant apartments. He has his films and projector down there, so he's plenty busy. I… I just wanted to be alone with you. Have a romantic night." He smiled at her.

"Poor Mark. He gets kicked out of his own apartment so you could have his filming partner up here for a date." She chuckled looking into his eyes.

"He was OK with it. He just wants to see us happy. Especially you. He… he really likes you." He gazed into her vibrant eyes lit from all the candles that were burning out.

"I really like him too. I just hope he finds someone who is as good for him as you are for me." She smiled kissing him again.

"You're the one who's good for me. I haven't felt this way in a really long time. I feel alive for the first time in a long time." He caressed her face before holding her close to him.

"Well you are alive Roger. Why not act like you are?"

"You… you make me want to stay alive for a long time." He blurted out staring down at her.

"I know." She whispered clutching his jacket in her hands.

He leaned down, lifting her chin before kissing her lips tenderly. She parted her lips, deepening the kiss. He cradled her in his arms as the kiss quickly became passionate. "James, maybe we should…" he whispered as she lifted her hand to silence him.

"No, I… I want this." She murmured looking into his sparkling green eyes.

"Are you sure?" he questioned caressing her face.

"Absolutely." She whispered smiling up at him. She got up and held her hand out to him. He reached up, grasping her hand as he got up and followed her as she led him into his bedroom. She began unbuttoning his shirt as he gazed down at her. She leaned in, kissing his chest before pulling the shirt open slowly to remove it. He finally reached around her slender body, unzipping the back of her dress before she removed her arms from the constraints of the straps, allowing it to slip down her body. Unbuttoning his pants, she slid them off of his waist and down his legs. They stood before one another in their underwear. Roger in green plaid boxers and Jami in matching bra and panties.

"Are you sure about this James?" Roger asked looking down at her unsure.

"Yes Roger. I'm positive about this." She smiled up at him wrapping her arms around his neck, leaning up to kiss him. She led him to the bed and he gently placed her down. Their kiss grew more crucial, zealous. They held one another as if they were the last people on earth. As if their lives depended on one another's contact. Roger reached into his nightstand and retrieved a condom, before they began to make love. The time seemed to stand still. Nothing outside that bedroom existed. They lay in one another's arms, wrapped up in the afterglow of what the just shared.

Roger smiled down at her blissfully, happy and content. He took a deep, cleansing breath before breaking the silence. "Are you OK?" he smoothed her hair.

"I'm perfect. I… I don't think I've ever been more perfect." She smiled caressing his chest.

"So you have no regrets?" he asked cautiously.

"Of course not. I… I could never regret anything about being with you." She smiled looking up at him.

"Do… do you wanna stay the night?" he stammered running his fingers through his hair.

"I was hoping to, yeah." She giggled looking up at him.

"Good, because right now, I don't want to let you go" he smiled leaning down to kiss her head.

"I feel like I've always belonged in your arms. Like… like I haven't been complete until this very moment." She spoke silently, enjoying the feel of his skin against hers. Warm, soft, alive.


	6. Chapter 6

Sometime in the middle of the night, Jami woke up and slithered out of Roger's comforting embrace to use the bathroom. She bent down to retrieve her panties before picking up Roger's shirt from the foot of the bed, putting them on before going into the main living area on her way to the bathroom. Closing the door, she flipped the switch and did her business. When she left the bathroom, she went out into the living room. She looked towards the window. The New York City skyline always fascinated her. She walked to the window, sat on the window seat and stared out at the night sky. Roger came out of his room, shortly after she sat down and silently walked over to his girlfriend. He stepped on a lose floorboard, startling her. He saw her jump and turn to him. "Hey. I… I didn't mean to scare you." He told her quietly.

"It's OK. I hope I didn't wake you." She looked up at him as he sat behind her, wrapping himself around her.

"No, you didn't. I just woke up and my girlfriend was missing, so I figured I'd come looking for you. What are you doing up?" he asked kissing the back of her head.

"Had to use the bathroom and then I just felt like staring at the night sky. It's so beautiful. I… I don't have a view this beautiful from my place." She leaned back into him, holding his arms around her waist.

"Is everything OK?" he asked looking at her.

"Mhm. Everything is amazing." She smiled closing her eyes as he leaned down to kiss her neck. They sat watching the night sky talking for the rest of the night. Roger laughed more than he had in years. He was happier than he had been in years. Before they knew it, it was morning. When Mark snuck into the loft, he noticed Jami sitting on the window seat in Roger's arms. They were sharing a beautiful romantic moment. Watching the sunrise. "Hey Mark. You're up early." Jami smiled over at him.

"I didn't hear anything, so I… I thought it was safe to come up. I… I didn't mean to…" he stuttered as Roger interrupted him.

"You're not interrupting. We're just… watching the sunrise." He smiled over at him.

"I wish I had my camera with me. You two are a vision." He beamed with pride.

"Don't you dare. I must look like hell." Jami shouted laughing as she lifted her hands to smooth down her hair.

"Actually, you look beautiful." Mark observed looking over at her.

"She does look amazing, doesn't she?" Roger smiled down at her.

"You two are impossible." She laughed covering her face.

"So I take it the date went well." Mark smiled sitting across from them.

"Nah, it was a total disaster, so we decided to turn in early." Jami joked looking up at Roger.

"Wiseass." Mark muttered as they laughed together.

"Thanks so much for helping with everything. It's the most amazing thing anyone's ever done for me." She smiled at him.

"Too bad. You deserve better." He smiled at her as she looked up at Roger.

"I'm a very lucky woman." She whispered leaning up to kiss Roger's soft lips.

"I would say you're both lucky." Mark observed smiling at them.

"Um… there's… there's left over lasagna in the fridge if you're hungry." Jami cleared her throat before looking over at him.

"Awesome. Thanks. I love Roger's moms lasagna." He smiled at them.

"Listen, I was thinking, why don't me and Jami go back to her place so she can get cleaned up and we all meet up the café for some breakfast. We all have busy days and I wanted to take my lady out for breakfast." Roger smiled playing with Jami's hair.

"I was afraid you guys forgot." Mark laughed looking over at him.

"Nope. My girl's screenplay is being put on film and I have a band to put together." Roger insisted looking over at Mark.

"He's right. We have dreams to pursue and we need to get moving on achieving those dreams." Jami smiled getting up, careful not to show Mark any more than he wanted to see. "I'm… I'm gonna go in and get dressed. Are you coming Baby?" Jami asked looking over at Roger, who was lounging in his plaid boxers and a t-shirt.

"I'll be in in a minute Baby. I promise." He smiled looking over at her. She was a vision in his shirt.

"OK." She smiled at him before bouncing off to Roger's room.

"I'm glad you guys had a good night. It means a lot to see you two so happy." Mark smiled looking over at Roger.

"Hmm" he grunted looking over at Mark snapping out of his trance.

"Are you OK?" Mark looked over at him.

"Yeah, I… I'm better than OK. She's such an incredible woman Mark. I can't believe she's my girlfriend." He stammered sitting up straight.

"The great Roger Davis can't believe he hooked up with a beautiful, smart, incredible woman? That's hard to believe." He joked.

"Yeah well, the great Roger Davis doesn't exist anymore. It's just me. Roger Davis, ex junkie, ex lead singer of the biggest band in the city, HIV positive, washed out songwriter." He mumbled leaning forward on his knees.

"Yet Jami believes in you and I'll tell you what, that's big. Jami doesn't let her guard down very easily, but with you, she has. She's happier and more relaxed than I've ever seen her. She believes that the great Roger Davis is in there somewhere, don't question her. Prove her right. Do what you do best. Get on stage and show her that she bet on the right horse." He smiled before getting up to go to his room to get changed.

"Dude, did you just call me a horse?" Roger smirked at him looking up at him.

"Yep." Mark laughed closing his bedroom door.


	7. Chapter 7

"It was nice to see you and Roger still together this morning." Mark smiled lowering his camera as he shot the foliage in Central Park.

"Things went a bit further than we anticipated, but…I… I don't know, when it comes to Roger, all bets are off, you know?" she looked over at him, a bit embarrassed.

"You can't help your feelings Jami. Thing happen that you don't plan." He smiled tucking his camera under his arm.

"I… uh… yeah. I guess." She told him quietly, tucking her hands in her pockets.

"You're in love with him, aren't you?" Mark taunted looking over at Jami, who was in a daze. Thinking about Roger, no doubt.

"What? Mark we've only been dating for like 3 days. Don't you think it's a little soon for me to categorize my feelings for him?" she asked looking over at him.

"You are. You're... you're in love with him." He stopped in the middle of the pathway.

"Mark, I… I don't know what my feelings for him are yet. All I do know is that I've never felt like this before. When I'm with him he makes me feel like I'm the most special woman in the world. No one… no one's ever made me feel the way I feel when I'm with him." She stammered quietly looking down at the dirty concrete.

"He's falling in love with you too." He said looking over at her.

"How… how could you know that?" she asked taken by surprise.

"The way he is with you. He wants you to be proud of him."

"I am proud of him Mark. The fact that he's getting back on stage means I get to see him. The real him. He… he wants to show me who he really is. That's who makes me happy." She smiled over at him.

"He's… happier with you than I've ever seen him." He moved closer to her.

"It... it scares me, the… the way he makes me feel. I've never… I never expected that I'd ever feel this way about anyone. Ever." She looked up with him with tears stinging her eyes.

"Give in to love, or live in fear." He recited putting his hand on her shoulder.

"Where… where did you hear that?" she asked curiously.

"A… a good friend." He smiled at her.

"Mimi?" she croaked as he nodded. "Losing her took a lot out of him. He's nowhere near ready to let me into his heart." She said looking up at him.

"Yes he is Jami. He already has." He reassured her.

"I don't know if I'm ready then." She said looking up at him. He wrapped his arms around her shoulders, looking into her beautiful, blue eyes.

"Just don't fight it James, OK?" he leaned in to kiss her temple.

"Roger… um… Roger's the only one who calls me that." She smirked looking over at him.

"I know. I was hoping it would hold some water if I used your given name." he laughed looking over at her.

"You're impossible Cohen." She laughed as she wrapped her arms around his waist and they walked out of the park.

Later that evening, Jami sat on her couch. Roger was still conducting auditions so she was writing and thinking about the whirlwind that had taken place in the past 3 days. Since officially meeting Roger, she's been through a myriad of experiences. She's gone out for coffee, seen a movie, stayed up all night talking, had a date in an industrial loft with homemade lasagna as the main course, spent the night with the most amazing, passionate man she's ever met, and watched the most breathtaking sunrise above the New York City skyline nestle safely in his arms. Ever since Roger came into her life, she's felt complete. No one's ever made her feel that way before. Growing up, she was alone. All she had was her writing. She was jotting some things down when the doorbell rang. She placed her notepad on the coffee table, face down before getting up to see who it was. "Hello." She spoke into the speaker on the wall.

"Baby, it's me." The voice announced before she buzzed him in. She smiled before unlocking the apartment door and stepping out into the hallway. Leaning against her door jam, she heard him rush up the stairs. The chain on his pants jingled with each step he climbed. As the butterflies in her stomach grew, she moved to the top of the stairs, when he came into her view, he smiled up at her, walking briskly, taking two steps at a time. "I missed you so much today." He whispered sweeping her into his arms and kissing her passionately.

"Have you been drinking?" she laughed looking up at him.

"Maybe a little. Me and Nate went out for one after the auditions, but I couldn't wait to see my girl." He smiled holding her in his arms.

"How did it go? The… auditions." She smiled up at him.

"Great. We found a drummer. He's… a little young, but he's dedicated. But all the bass players we saw were young and stupid." He held her in his arms.

"You forget. You were young and stupid once too, but you always had the talent it took to go all the way. Maybe, so do they." She smiled up at him before patting his chest.

"You are a stubborn woman." He laughed picking her up in his arms.

"You need one." She wrapped her arms around his neck laughing. She threw her head back and he quickly took advantage of it. He began kissing her neck as they entered the apartment. He carried her over to her bed and kissed her tenderly.

"You are so beautiful." He whispered running his fingers through her blond hair.

"You make me feel like the most beautiful girl in the world." She whispered up at him.

"You are." He began to remove her clothes before they made love. Laying in Roger's arms, she felt him breathing softly as he caressed her bare shoulder. She began thinking about what she and Mark were talking about earlier in the park. She turned her head, looking up at him as she stared up at his smile. Feeling her movement, he opened his eyes and looked down at her. "What's up Baby?" he asked looking into her eyes.

"How do you feel about me Roger?" she asked beginning to sit up. Wrapping the sheet around her chest.

"What do you mean?" he asked looking up at her confused.

"Your feelings for me. What… what are they?" she repeated looking down into his green eyes.

"I… I care about you James." He told her quietly as he reached up to caress her upper arm.

"I care about you too Roger." She reached over to caress his bare chest.

"What's this all about James?" he asked looking up at her.

"Nothing. Um… I don't know. I mean, I know you're nowhere near ready for anything serious, it's just…" she started, pulling her hand away.

"I _am_ ready for you James. I'm ready for anything this brings." He reached up to hold onto her hand.

"Are you ready for me to fall in love with you? Because that's… that's what I'm doing." She blurted out looking down at him.

"I know. I'm… I'm falling in love with you too." He smiled looking up at her.

"But you…" she stuttered looking down at him.

"I'm ready Jami. For all of this." He smiled taking her hand and lifting it to his lips. Kissing it.

"Roger, I never expected you to…" she started when he cut her off.

"I'm done being afraid. Life is too short as it is. I don't want to waste any of the time I have left not telling you how I feel about you." He said looking up at her.

"I… I don't know what to say." She smiled surprised as he sat up in the bed.

"You're the one I want to spend the rest of my time with." He lifted his hand to caress her face.

"The rest of your…" she stuttered fighting her tears.

"James, I'm healthy, and the rest of my life could be a long time, but for as long as it is, I want to spend the rest of that time with you. Falling asleep with you in my arms and waking up the same way. I want to spend the rest of my life with you." he moved closer to her, wrapping his arms around her small frame.

"Roger, I'm… I…" she stammered looking into his green eyes.

"You don't have to say anything James, Just… just say you want the same thing." He looked over at her.

"Of course I do Roger. I want everything with you. I want to be with you when you draw your last breath. I… I want mine to be the love that carries you to the other side to Mimi, April and Angel." She told him through her tears.

"Mimi and Angel sent you to me. I… I believe that. To… to give me the strength to go on." He said looking down at her.

"I… I believe that too." She smiled through her tears.

"I love you Jami." He whispered holding her tight in his safe embrace.

"I love you too Roger." She felt comfortable in his arms. As if nothing could hurt her. He wouldn't let anything or anyone hurt her. They eventually fell asleep in each other's arms.


	8. Chapter 8

One Month Later

Jami and Roger have been dating a month now and neither one of them can remember a time when they weren't together. By day, she works on her film with Mark, by night, when she's not working at the grocery store, she and Roger lay around her apartment drinking wine and listening to music. Occasionally they would watch movies, but would rarely pay attention to what was going on. They would light candles and enjoy the warm flicker as the candles illuminated her apartment. Roger spends more of his time at Jami's apartment then the loft, leaving Mark essentially living alone. Not that he minded though. He liked seeing his friends happy.

Roger finally found all of his band mates and filled his days with rehearsing. After band practice, he would go to the loft to pick up some clothes and his meds before going over to Jami's apartment. Usually with a bottle of white zinfandel in hand. It was Jami's favorite.

"Mama, I can't just pick up and go visit you for a week." She argued as Roger entered the apartment.

"James Frances, you haven't been home in 2 years. Your brothers and your nephews miss you dearly." Mrs. Barnett tried to guilt trip her daughter. Being Roman Catholic, she was good at that.

"I'm sorry, but I'm in the middle of filming and with… with my other job, I just can't get away right now." Roger went into the kitchen to chill the wine before going over to kiss her head.

"Just please try sweetie. You work too hard. You… you need to take some time off. Plus, I miss you too." Her mother went from laying on the guilt to pleading.

"I do have bills to pay, mama…" she started arguing, but cut it short.

"I know darling, but I hope you're at least finding time to date. You're not getting any younger, you know?" her mother pointed out.

"OK mama. I'll… I'll try to come to visit soon. Um, I gotta go. I'll talk to you later, OK? I love you." She tried rushing her mother off of the phone.

"OK darling. I'll talk to you later. I love you too. Take care of yourself." She got the hint and ended the call.

"I will mama. Bye." She hung up the phone quickly before her mother could say anything else.

"Mama?" he chuckled looking over at her.

"Did you think I was hatched?" she laughed with her hands on her hips.

"Well, I knew you had a mother, but you call her mama?"

"She's Irish Catholic Roger. It's how I was brought up. She.. she wants me to come home for a week."

"She wants to see you. I'm sure she misses her daughter. I know I did, and I was only away from you for 9 and a half hours." He smiled getting up to go over to her. He wrapped his arms around her, drawing her close to him.

"I hate going back home. They make me feel like such a failure."

"How are you a failure?" he asked looking down into her blue eyes.

"I'm 26 and I'm not married, don't have a family and I'm working 2 jobs and still living paycheck to paycheck." She groaned looking up at him.

"If you want to go up for the weekend or something, I'd go with you if you wanted. " he offered looking down at her.

"Oh lord no. I would never subject you to my brothers. They'd eat you alive." She giggled looking up at him.

"Thanks for having so much faith in me James." He muttered letting go of her.

"Roger, I… I didn't mean it like that. It's just… my brothers are a bunch of jerks. They're Irish and French and they act like Neanderthals." She went on the defensive.

"I can take care of myself Jami." He looked over at her.

"I know you can Roger. It's got nothing to do with you. They… they made my life miserable growing up. I learned very early not to bring boyfriends home. If they would torture their little sister like that, imagine what they'd do to a boy I brought home." She explained.

"I'm not a boy, James. I'm grown man. A grown man who happens to love their sister. I want to meet your family." He looked down at her, raising his hand to her face.

"It means that much to you, doesn't it?" she asked looking up into his green eyes.

"Yes it does James." He confirmed caressing her face.

"Your eyes are very lethal weapons, you know that?" she smirked up at him.

"So, we're going?" he asked smiling down at her.

"Soon." She smiled as he wrapped his arms around her.

"I can't wait." He called out excitedly picking her up.

"On one condition." She said wrapping her arms around his neck.

"Anything for my girl." He smiled at her.

"I get to meet your family."

"Deal." He agreed, without hesitation.

"Really?" she asked surprised.

"Yeah, they can't wait to meet you."

"They… they know about me?"

"Of course, I couldn't wait to…" he started before his smile dropped from his face and he put her down. "Wait a minute. Your family doesn't know about me, do they?"

"Roger, I'm not that close to my family. I… I got used to keeping things from them because they'd always criticize me for it. Had I told them about you, they… they would have jumped at the chance to call me a stupid, naïve little girl." She looked over at him as he began pacing the apartment.

"It's your life Jami. Why would you care what they think?" he asked quietly.

"Because my whole life they made me feel like I was less than because I was born a girl. Even my name told me that. When all the other girls were named Teresa or Debbie, I was James. A boy's name. I wanted to write, mama made me take home ec. Who I was and what I wanted was never good enough for them. I had to fight like hell to get papa to let me go to NYU instead of some rinky dink Jr. college close to home. Moving out on my own was unheard of for a woman in my family. We went from our fathers house to our husbands house. There was no free thinking for a woman. We did what we were told. Even mama was against me. But I kept fighting because it's what I believed in. I wanted something different from what mama had. I didn't want to marry some man and have a load of kids, cooking and cleaning and conforming to that ideal. I wanted my own life. And even though I have it, I'm always gonna be that stupid, naïve little girl who thought I could be different. Who thought I could change the world. But I'm not. I'm struggling living paycheck to paycheck. No one to take care of me. " she argued holding back tears.

"You are not a stupid naïve little girl James. You are a beautiful, strong, independent woman who's fighting for what she believes in. Herself and her talent." He walked over to her, taking her by the shoulders.

"Am I? I… I depend on you way too much." She asked looking up at him.

"Jami, we depend on each other. That's what a relationship is. There's nothing wrong with that." He soothed her shoulders with his thumbs.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell my mother about you." She looked into his eyes.

"That's OK. You will when you're ready. There's no rush." He brought her into a tender embrace.

"No it's not OK. I love you Roger. I want to scream it from the roof tops."

"I happen to know such a place." He laughed looking down at her.

"Let's go." She smiled up at him. He leaned down slowly, sweeping her into a sweet, tender kiss.

"You don't need to James. I know and that's good enough for me. But I was thinking that we could maybe take off for the weekend and I can take you to Jersey to introduce you to my family." he smiled down at her.

"Are you serious? I'd love to meet your family." She answered excitedly.

"I'll call them and let them know we're coming. Can I use your phone?"

"My phone is your phone." She smiled as he went to the phone. He dialed the number and waited for someone to pick up.

"Mom, hey." He spoke excitedly.

"Roger it's Tuesday. Is everything OK?" Mrs. Davis asked concerned.

"Yeah mom. Everything's fine. Um… do you have plans for this weekend?" he asked holding his arm out for Jami, inviting her into his embrace.

"You're coming home for a visit?" she asked happily.

"I was thinking about it yeah." He smiled down at Jami.

"Are you coming alone?" she was coy asking the question.

"No mom. I'm bringing Jami. Like I would have been allowed in the house without her." He laughed as Jami playfully slapped his chest.

"You better be bringing that girlfriend of yours. I'm so excited to meet her." She laughed with him.

"She can't wait to meet you guys either."

"Is she there now?" Mrs. Davis asked looking around at the pictures of her much younger son.

"Yes mom. I'm calling from her place. Do you wanna talk to her." He asked amused as Jami looked up at him in horror.

"No Roger. I… I can't." she told him quietly as she gave her a reassuring smile.

"It'll be OK Baby. Here. Just be yourself." He told her quietly before handing her the phone.

"Hi Mrs. Davis." She croaked out nervously.

"Hi Jami. Roger told me so many wonderful things about you. I can't wait to meet you." She told her excitedly.

"Roger speaks very highly of you too. I'll see you this weekend." She began to feel more comfortable speaking to her boyfriend's mother.

"Well, I won't keep you dear. I'm sure you and Jami have a big night planned, so I'll see you this weekend then. Take care of yourself, OK?" she told her sweetly.

"That's what my mama tells me." She smiled up at Roger.

"Well we worry about our children. Even though they're very capable adults, we'll always worry." Mrs. Davis explained.

"I… I appreciate that Mrs. Davis." She smiled before handing Roger the phone again.

"I'll talk to you later ma. Love ya." He smiled down at Jami.

"I love you too honey. Bye." She hung up the phone smiling. Relieved that her son seemed to finally find a nice girl.

"See. She likes you already." He smiled at her before she leaned up to kiss him.

"Thank you Roger." She whispered looking up at him.

"For what?" he asked a bit confused.

"For telling your mother about me. Making me talk to her, letting me see how wonderful she is. All of it." She smiled nestling herself into his strong, comforting embrace.

"Anything for my girl." He smiled, kissing her head holding her close.

"I'm gonna tell mama about you. I swear. I just need to figure out the best way." she looked up at him.

"Take your time James. It's not a big deal." he whispered holding her in his arms.

"It is a big deal Roger. But my family is complicated." she said looking up at him.

"Tell me about them." he asked looking down at her.

"Well, there's Aidan, he's my oldest brother. Michelle is his wife and they have 3 boys, Aidan Jr, Matthew, and Patrick with boy number 4 on the way. Then there's Stephan and his wife Jess. They have 4 boys, Stephan, Riley, Trick and James. Jack and his wife Julie have on only 2 boys, Jackie and Joseph, but she's pregnant with what they hope is boy number 3. Tommy and Cindy have only 1 boy, but that's only because Cindy almost died having TJ, so they decided it was best to quit. Alex and his wife Lisa have the most kids right now. 5 boys Alexander, Daniel, Teagan, James and Johnny. They're working on number 6. Lisa is hoping it's gonna be a girl, like with my parents." she explained looking up at him.

"That's... that's a lot of boys." he laughed looking down at her.

"I told you. I'm the only one. That's why I'm not close to any of them. We have nothing in common. Other than parentage." she said looking up at him.

"I'm sure it'll all be fine James." he kissed her head before they sat back and watched TV.


	9. Chapter 9

It was 3 o'clock on Thursday. Jami and Mark quit filming early so she could pack for her weekend at the Jersey shore with Roger and his family before going to work at the grocery store until 11. She rushed around her room tossing clothes haphazardly on her bed. "Dammit." Roger walked in the door just in time to hear her yell in frustration as she swept the suitcase off of the bed onto the floor.

"Woah, what did that innocent suitcase ever do to you?" he looked at her confused.

"Forget it Roger. I'm … I'm not going this weekend." She groaned before plopping down on the bed.

"What's the matter James?" he asked sitting next to her.

"I have no clothes." She complained looking up at him.

"From what I see, you have half of Macy's on this bed." He chuckled looking down at her.

"Roger, I'm having a meltdown here. Can you at least be a little sympathetic?" she was annoyed as she looked up at him.

"I'm sorry. Go ahead." He smirked folding his hands neatly on his lap like a good boy.

"If you're just gonna laugh at me…" she yelled getting up from the bed.

"Jami, I'm sorry. It's just… you have tons of clothes. What is this really all about?" he asked looking up at her from the bed.

"I'm meeting your family this weekend. I can't just pack any old thing. I want to make a good impression on them." She looked over her shoulder at her.

"Listen to me. My family is not gonna care what you're wearing. All they care about is that I'm in love with you. My mom likes you already and she hasn't even met you yet." He said getting up to go to her.

"Yeah, that's just it. We've spoken on the phone, but I'm meeting the man I love's family. I want to make a good impression. I don't want to walk in there and have them look at me like I'm a either a slob or a whore." She yelled looking up at him.

"You are not a whore Jami. What gave you that idea?" he asked quietly putting his hand on her shoulder.

"Oh, I don't know, maybe because we slept together on our first date." she pointed out looking over at him.

"It was hardly our first date. It was like our third date." he smiled down at her.

"Do you really want to argue technicalities with me right now?" she yelled at him as he looked at her confused.

"I'm sorry Baby. But you're over reacting." he looked down at her.

"I just don't want them to look at me and see someone who's not good enough for you." She looked up at him as tears over flowed from her eyes.

"Not good enough for me? James, have you forgotten my history? I loved April and she and I got hooked on heroin and she killed herself, but not until after we contracted HIV, then I got a second chance with Mimi and she died of AIDS. And just when I thought I was out of second chances, you came along. Sitting with Mark in the café, laughing and in the grocery store joking with customers, looking so beautiful and so full of life. You gave me my confidence back and I fell in love with you. If anyone's not good enough, it's me. It… it could never be you." He whispered caressing her cheek.

"But their your family Roger. They'll always look out for you. They'll always want what's best for you and none of these clothes says that I'm that for you. They're either too casual, too sexy or too plain. Nothing is impressive enough for meeting my boyfriends family." She said looking up at him.

"Just be yourself James. That's… that's all you ever have to be. That's the woman I love." He smiled before leaning down to kiss her.

"It's enough for you, but what about…" she started.

"Forget what anyone else thinks. I love you. I… I never thought I would love anyone ever again and then I met you. I'm so in love with you James. Nothing and no one could ever change that." He ran his hands through her blond hair. She closed her eyes, enjoying the feel of his hands caressing her skull.

"I… I guess I need to get packed. I… I have to be at work in an hour and a half and we leave tomorrow." She told him quietly as he eyes fluttered closed.

"How about I help you pack and then I'll walk you to work." He offered looking down at her.

"OK, but mainly t-shirts, sweatshirts and jeans, OK? Try to refrain from packing the sexy stuff, OK?" she smirked looking up at him.

"Deal." He smiled leaning down to kiss him.

"Thank you Roger. I… I needed you to talk some sense into me." She smiled looking up at him.

"You can always count on me Baby." He smiled holding her in his arms.

"I know." She sighed wrapping her arms around his waist and holding him close. She felt so safe and secure nestled against his strong chest. Hearing his heartbeat always made her feel relaxed. As long as his heart was beating, all was right with the world. She shut her eyes tight and reached up to hold the back of his shirt in her hands.

An hour and a half later, she was half packed, but needed to get to work. She was taking 3 days off to go to New Jersey with Roger, so she had to work the late shift at the grocery store. Roger walked her to work and promised that he would be back to pick her up and take her home. They argued about it regularly, but he wouldn't let her deter him from making sure the woman he loved was safe. "I'll see you at 11." He smiled leaning down to kiss her.

"I love you." She smiled up at him.

"I so love you too James." He whispered caressing her face before opening the door for her, so she could go to work. He returned to her apartment and finished packing the clothes that were folded next to the suitcase. There were mainly baby doll shirts and sweatshirts. He smirked looking down at the small pile of cotton panties. He picked them up and put them in the dresser drawer and took out some sexy, lacy ones. He was packing the t-shirts for his mother, but the panties were for him. He zipped the suitcase up and set it by the door. He returned to the bed to fold the rest of the clothes that were strewn across the bed. Noticing a light peach silk camisole, he reached over and picked it up. Bringing the article of clothing up to his nose, he breathed in Jami's lavender scent. Closing his eyes, he plopped down on the bed, caressing his rough cheek with the soft fabric. He loved Jami's smell.

He thought about what the weekend would bring. They were leaving on the 2:30 Path train to Hackensack, New Jersey where Roger's older brother Chris was picking them up and bringing them to his mother's house, where his sister Heather and other brother Doug would eat a dinner his mother would make from scratch. After dinner, Roger's aunts, uncles and cousins would come over for a family gathering. Information Roger neglected to tell Jami. He was gonna tell her today, but considering her meltdown earlier, he didn't think it was a good idea to put more pressure on her. By 10:00, Roger got bored and decided to go keep Jami company at the grocery store until 11 when she could lock up and go home.


	10. Chapter 10

"Are you OK Jami?" Mark asked looking over at Jami as they sat in the café drinking their coffee.

"Hmm, oh yeah. I'm fine." She ran her finger along the top of the coffee mug.

"OK, what gives? You've been quiet since you walked in here." He asked grilling her.

"I'm nervous about this weekend." She confessed looking up at him.

"Why?" he asked confused.

"Mark, they're my boyfriends family. What if they don't like me? What if they look at me and see just another woman who's gonna break his heart?" she asked looking over at him.

"They're not. Jami, Roger's family is really cool. His sister Heather is funny and his brothers are just like him. They're gonna be eating out of the palm of your hand as soon as they meet you." He smiled over at her.

"And what about his mother? You of all people know how mothers are when it comes to their sons." She asked looking over at him.

"Ginger Davis is nothing like Patsy Cohen. She the cool mom. I mean, I only met her a couple of times since I've known him, but she just loves Roger. All she wants is what makes him happy and in case you missed it, you make him happy Jami." He looked over at her.

"And that's what scares me. He makes me so happy. I don't want to get to New Jersey and have his mom look at me and disapprove of me." She told him quietly staring down at the table.

"Why in the hell would she disapprove of you? You're the best thing that's ever happened to him." He argued looking over at her.

"I don't know Mark. Maybe it's because I'm an assistant at an independent film studio and a cashier at a grocery store. I… I don't know." She answered clearly upset.

"James Frances, listen to me. You are working two jobs to support yourself. Two honest jobs, by the way. What the hell could she have against that?" he asked looking down at her.

"I don't know. Maybe I'm being irrational." She clamped her hands together, rubbing them up and down.

"You think? Jami, you're going to be fine. The Davis family is gonna love you." He looked over at her.

"I… I hope so. I… I'm so in love with Roger. I just don't want anything to ruin our relationship." She told him quietly.

"Nothing will. Just go, be yourself and they'll love you. Trust me. Roger does." He smiled looking over at her.

"That's what Roger said." She smirked at him.

"Roger's not as dumb as he looks, you know. He may be good looking, but he happens to be a very smart man. He's with you, isn't he?" he smiled back at her.

"Hey, that's the man I love you're talking about." She laughed leaning over to slap Mark's arm.

"He was my best friend first. I can say anything I want about him." He squealed looking over at her.

"Fair enough." She laughed looking over at him.

"Well Roger's excited. He's been on the phone with his mom everyday this week." He smiled looking over at her.

"I'm… I'm glad he's talking to his mom more." She smiled up at him.

"All he talks about is you and how proud he is of you." He said looking over at her.

"Proud of me? What have I done?" she asked sitting back in the chair.

"Your film, that story you're writing about him. You getting him back on stage." He said looking over at her.

"He was getting back on stage before he met me. He didn't need me to push him." She said looking up at him.

"I'm not gonna argue with you Jami. All I'm saying is that they're all really excited to be meeting you." He said looking over at her.

"Mark, how am I supposed to live up to that?" she asked.

"You don't have to live up to anything. Just be yourself Jami." He tried to reassure her.

"I know. I'm sorry for the meltdown. First last night with Roger and now with you. I mean, what's the big deal, right? I live in New York City. I meet new people all the time." She made an attempt to ease her own fears.

"Yeah, you're a New Yorker now. Fear's your life." He tried to mock a New York accent.

"That was almost as bad as Roger's British accent." She laughed looking over at him.

"Hey. Nothing is as bad as Roger's British accent." He laughed defending himself.

"Touche." She laughed picking up her coffee and taking another sip.


	11. Chapter 11

Roger and Jami sit on the Path train, on their way to New Jersey. Jami is sitting silently in Roger's arms with butterflies in her stomach. Anxiety building up with every mile the train traveled. "I love you Baby." Roger whispered bringing his hand up gently to her chin, lifting it to look into her beautiful blue eyes.

"I'm fine Roger. I'm just… a little nervous. It'll pass." She smiled trying to downplay her anxiety.

"You're a terrible liar James Frances Barnett." He smiled leaning down to kiss her forehead.

"Shut up." She giggled slapping his chest. "I'm doing the best I can here."

"I know. I wish there was something I could do to ease your anxiety." He said looking down at her.

"I'm sure I'll feel better once I meet your family and see that they like me, but for now just let me be a typical girl who's nervous about meeting her boyfriend's family." She smiled looking up at him.

"I will be glad to let you be anything you want to be. You're all I want Jami. No matter how neurotic you are." He laughed looking down at her.

"I guess that's why you're with me. You seem to be attracted to us neurotic freaks." She laughed caressing his muscular chest with the back of her hand.

"Apparently so. But to be fair, I dumped Mark years ago, but it didn't take." He laughed kissing her head.

"You two are so mean to each other." She joked looking up at him.

"We're fighting for the attention of the same beautiful woman. We're just trying to make it easier for you to pick." He smiled down at her.

"You never have to fight for my attention. I'm all yours." She leaned up to kiss his soft lips. As the train approached Hackensack, New Jersey, Roger got up and took down his and Jami's bags from the above compartment. They got off the train and walked out to the street. A loud horn honked and a young man, who looked about 30 jumped out of a metallic blue Ford Mustang.

"Rog, dude." He called out, rushing over to them.

"Chris, what the hell man? You got a 'Stang?" Roger yelled walking briskly towards the man. He put the bags down to hug the man.

"Yeah well, working for Uncle John pays well. What do you think?" he asked looking over at the car.

"It's awesome. I guess your midlife crisis started early." he laughed at him.

"I'll give you midlife crisis, little brother." he laughed rustling Roger's blond hair. "You look good man. Looks like that girl of yours can work miracles." He laughed looking at his brother.

"Yeah, she's amazing." he laughed at him.

"You really do look good man. It's great to see you." He laughed at his younger brother.

"Chris, I want you to meet my girlfriend…" Roger started before Chris interrupted him.

"Jami, hey. It's great to meet you. My mom's been talking non stop about you all week. We're glad you guys came to visit." He smiled at her.

"It's… it's nice to meet you too." She smiled timidly looking up at the handsome man. He looked just like Roger, only a couple of years older. They had the same sandy blond hair and green eyes.

"Come on, we better go. Mom's waiting for us. She's cooking and everyone should be at the house at like 6." He said looking over at them.

"Everybody? Who's… who's everybody?" Jami stuttered looking up at Roger.

"My aunts, uncles and some cousins. It's gonna be OK James, I promise." He looked over at her. His confidence pouring from his tone.

"Um… OK." She told him quietly before following him and Chris to the car.

"So, how did you meet my loser brother?" Chris asked as Jami got into the back seat of the car. Roger was putting their bags in the trunk.

"I… I work with Mark and he saw me around. Mark introduced us." She told him trying to be more comfortable.

"What do you do with Mark?" he asked looking over at her.

"I'm… I'm a screen writer. Mark's filming my screenplay." She said looking up at him.

"A screen writer, huh? Hey Rog, she's smart. What the hell is she doing with your sorry ass?" he asked as Roger got into the car.

"Just lucky, I guess." He smiled looking back at Jami as they started towards Mrs. Davis' house. "Think I could drive this thing while I'm here?"

"You wish little brother. No one drives my 'Stang." Chris laughed looking over at him.

"Can't blame a guy trying." Roger laughed looking back at Jami, who looked very uncomfortable.

They pulled into the driveway, and Chris turned the engine off. Roger looked back at Jami, who looked white as a ghost. "You guys coming?" Chris asked looking over at his brother.

"Yeah, um… give us a minute." Roger smiled at him as Chris nodded and got out of the car. "You OK Baby?" he asked looking back at her.

"Yeah… um…. Yeah, I'm fine." She told him quietly looking up at him.

"It's all gonna be fine Baby." He smiled reaching back to take her hand in his.

"You're right. We… we should go in. Your mom's waiting." She smiled up at him, uneasy.

"I love you James." He whispered looking over at her.

"I love you too." She smiled as they got out of the car.

"Roger, you're here. You look awesome. Oh my God, your hair looks amazing." A young woman called out rushing over to Roger.

"Woah, Heather. Since when did you get all grown up?" Roger asked as the young girl jumped into her brother's arms.

"I'm 22 ass wipe. You missed my birthday. Again." She yelled looking over at him.

"Sorry about that squirt. You know how stuff happens." He apologized looking down at his little sister.

"Yeah I know. Um… hi, I'm Heather. You must be Jami." The young girl smiled looking over at Jami. The was beautiful, just like the rest of the family. Long, wavy blond hair and prominent green eyes. She was about 5'6" and thin. She had on a black Pink Floyd t-shirt and blue jeans.

"It's nice to meet you Heather." Jami smiled at her as Roger reached down to take her hand.

"Come on, I want you to meet my mom and Doug." He smiled leading her into the house.

"I have to warn you. Mom made like 3 lasagnas, so you guys better be starving." Heather followed them into the house.

"Mom, we're here." He called out walking through the front door.

"Coming." She called out coming from the kitchen. She was beautiful also. It made Jami feel inferior. The whole family was good looking. "Hi Jami." She smiled rushing over to Jami. She threw her arms around the girl and hugged her firmly. "Oh, it's so nice to finally meet you."

"It's nice to meet you too Mrs. Davis." She smiled hugging her back.

"Ahem, your son is here too, you know?" he joked looking down at his mother and his girlfriend.

"I met you already. I wanna get to know the beautiful girl in my sons life." Mrs. Davis joked looking up at him.

"It's nice to see you too mom." He laughed as she leaned over to hug her middle son.

"You look great sweetie." She smiled up at him.

"So do you. Did you have work done?" he teased looking down at her.

"You are not too old for me to whip out the wooden spoon." She yelled laughing.

"Idol threats." Roger joked looking over at her.

"I'm getting it." she smiled faking going to the kitchen.

"OK. OK, I'll stop. Jeez mom. We just got here. Do you have to embarrass me in front of my girlfriend?" he laughed looking down at her.

"You're right honey. We have all weekend for that." She laughed making Jami laugh too. Her nervousness had melted away. Mark was right. Roger's family was just like him. It made her feel at ease.

"Oh lord." Roger groaned looking down at his mother. "I wouldn't listen to a word this woman says. She's getting on in years and she may be a little senile already." Roger wrapped his arms around Jami's shoulder.

"Not too senile to outwit you young man." She snapped back before turning towards the stairs. "Douglas, your brother's here." She yelled before going to the kitchen.

"He's here all the damn time. Jeez mom." Doug called out from upstairs.

"Not Chris, you damn doof." Roger yelled looking up at his younger brother.

"Roger." The 25 year old called out rushing over to Roger, who swiftly took his arm out from around Jami to brace himself for his brothers greeting.

"Hey man." He smiled hugging his brother.

"Mom said you were coming and bringing your new girlfriend, but…" he said looking up at him.

"I know man. But I'm here." He smiled down at him. He was the carbon copy of Roger, but a few inches shorter. "Listen man, I want you to meet Jami." He smiled looking down at his brother.

"Hi, I'm Doug." He smiled holding his hand out to her.

"Hi Doug." She smiled shaking the younger man's hand.

"It's great to meet you. Rog, she's beautiful." He smiled up at Roger.

"Dude, what did you expect? She's with me." He laughed putting his arms around her again.

"I thought you were with me." She smiled up at him feeling comfortable with her boyfriend's family.

"Well I guess she would need a sense of humor to be with you, pretty boy." Chris laughed looking over at them.

"You know, you can be a little nicer to me. At least for my first day home." Roger laughed looking over at him.

"Oh, just when I was having fun." Jami whined looking up at him, making the Davis family laugh as Roger leaned down to kiss her head.

"Told you." he whispered as she stared up at him lovingly.


	12. Chapter 12

"I wanna hear how Roger started playing guitar." Jami asked looking over at Mrs. Davis as they sat at the dinner table drinking wine waiting for the rest of the family to show up.

"No you don't. Trust me." Roger brought the wine glass to his lips taking a long sip.

"Oh, I like this story." Doug laughed looking over at Jami.

"Shut up you little shit, or I'm gonna tell Jami about your dirty little secret." Roger pointed at his younger brother as Heather covered her mouth laughing.

"Roger Michael Davis, you are not gonna threaten your little brother like that." Mrs. Davis scolded looking over at her middle son.

"But I hate this story." He complained looking over at his mother.

"OK, now you have to tell me. The suspense is killing me." Jami said looking over at Mrs. Davis.

"Well, he comes rushing in here from school one day. He was 12. So he tells me, all excited, that he needs a guitar. I ask him, what ever for? He answers…" she started when Heather interrupted.

"Because Ellie Petersen, the prettiest girl in the 6th grade, loves Bruce Springsteen and if I get a guitar she'll kiss me." She laughed as Roger lowered his head in embarrassment.

"Ellie Petersen?" Jami asked looking up at him.

"Thanks for that, you two. Really, I appreciate that. The tag team effort you put into it. Priceless." He smirked at them leaning his elbows on the table and burying his face in his hands.

"I think it's cute." Jami smiled, bumping her shoulder into him.

"Yeah, real cute. It's embarrassing." He groaned looking over at her.

"Why? Because you started playing guitar for a girl?" she asked looking up at him.

"Pretty much." He smirked looking down at her.

"But you continued to do it because there was something there. You knew it was what you were meant to do. And now…" she started as he interrupted her.

"I'm getting back on stage for the most beautiful woman in the world." He told her quietly before leaning down to kiss her head.

"So, did you get the girl?" she asked looking up at him.

"Yep. She's sitting right next to me." He lifted his hand to caress her soft cheek.

"Oh spare me." Chris groaned as Heather hit his arm.

"Shut up. You're just jealous that Roger got dad's charm and you're a caveman." She looked up at him. The front door opened.

"Shut up little sister." Chris groaned looking over at her.

"Knock, knock." An older woman called out walking into the house.

"Aunt Cathy." Roger called out getting up from the table and rushing over to the slight woman.

"Oh my goodness. You look fantastic Roger. You're looking more and more like your dad." She smiled hugging him.

"Thanks Aunt Cat. Um… there's someone I want you to meet." He looked back over at Jami, who got up from her seat and went over to Roger.

"You are just as beautiful as I'd imagined you'd be." Roger's aunt smiled looking over at her.

"Um, thank… thank you." She smiled at her trying not to show her embarrassment.

"I'm Roger's father's sister, Cathy. You can call me Aunt Cathy. My husband John will be coming by a little later." She smiled at her.

"What's he doing?" Roger asked looking down at her.

"Him and your cousin Anthony are still working. Something about schematics being all wrong." She answered looking up at him.

"Anthony's working for Uncle John?" he asked surprised. Him and his cousin Anthony were always close and Anthony wanted to be a DJ back when they were younger.

"Yeah, he still does his little DJ thing on Saturday nights, but he's doing karaoke now. You should go see him tomorrow. It'll be fun." She suggested looking up at him.

"Karaoke?" Roger asked laughing.

"Karaoke sounds like fun. I've always wanted to try that." Jami told him excitedly.

"I guess we're going." Roger laughed holding Jami close to him.

"Cool. We'll all go." Doug called out taking a sip from his beer.

"Mom, do I have to take him?" Roger asked looking over at his mother who was coming into the living room with a wine glass for Cathy.

"Yes you do. It'll be nice for everyone to go out and have some fun. I'm thinking of tagging along." She smiled handing the glass to Cathy.

"Tomorrow is gonna be so much fun." Jami smiled up at Roger.

"Cool." Doug called out looking over at them. As the rest of the family arrived, Jami's head was spinning, meeting all of the different members of the Davis clan. Everyone laughed and told stories about growing up in this close knit family. She loved how Roger was when he was around his family. He went from tormenting his younger brother to being protective of his mother and sister to conspiring with his older brother to play pranks on other family members. His sister and female cousins were very welcoming to Jami. She liked that they weren't necessarily on their company behavior around her, which made her feel like a part of the family. She didn't even feel like that around her own family. Roger was so relaxed around his family. She felt as if she was seeing a whole new side of the man she loved. A side that made her fall in love with him more. She laughed more with this family than she ever had before.

By the time everyone left it was after midnight. Jami was exhausted. She and Roger were cuddled on the couch talking to his mother and sister, while Chris had left to go back to his apartment and Doug had gone to bed. "Tell me about Roger's father." Jami asked looking up at Mrs. Davis.

"He was a lot like Roger. Sweet, funny, mischievous, a bit immature, but in a fun way and he loved his family very deeply." She smiled looking over at her.

"He was very handsome too." Jami smiled looking up at the family picture. Roger was about 15 in the picture and they looked very happy.

"That was the last family picture taken before his heart attack." Mrs. Davis commented looking back at the photograph hanging on the wall.

"He died a few months later." Heather told her quietly.

"I'm… I'm sorry, I didn't mean to…" Jami stuttered looking up at Roger who looked somberly at his mother.

"It's OK sweetie. Really. He was a wonderful man. He lives on in my children. Especially Roger." Mrs. Davis smiled reaching over to touch Jami's hand motherly.

"Yeah, I had a great dad. He was a good man." Roger smiled down at her.

"So are you Roger." Mrs. Davis smiled at her son as he leaned over to kiss his girlfriends head. She leaned her head more into him, enjoying the feel of his loving arms wrapped around her.

Approximately an hour later, Jami and Roger entered Roger's old room. The full sized bed was made up. As Roger closed the door quietly, Jami opened the suitcase that was sitting on the bed. "Did you have a nice night?" he asked approaching her, wrapping his arms around her waist from behind.

"The best. I didn't expect them to all be like you. It... it caught me off guard." she smiled at him.

"I told you there was nothing to worry about." he smirked at her.

"I love being around your family. They… they make me feel like I've been here all along." She smiled looking back at him.

"They love you too." He kissed her head softly before moving over to sit on the bed.

"I can tell. They're not shy, are they?" she laughed looking over at him.

"Yeah, shy is not exactly a word that's ever been used to describe anyone in this crazy crew." He laughed looking up at her.

"I thought not." She smiled at him going through her bag for her pajamas. She reached in and pulled out a pair of lacy panties. "Your doing?" she laughed holding them up.

"What, I can't have a little fun?" he smiled reaching out to bring her in front of him.

"I guess you're determined." She smiled wrapping her arms around his neck, caressing the back of his hair.

"I love you James." He reached out, wrapping his arms around her waist as he looked up at her with his mesmerizing green eyes.

"I love you too." She smiled leaning down to kiss him. As their lips met, he pulled her on top of him as he slowly lay down on the bed. Holding her tight on top of him, they kissed tenderly. "Roger, we're in your mother's house." She smiled down at him as she braced herself on her elbows.

"So. I've always wanted to do this in my parent's house." He whispered looking up at her.

"You expect me to believe that you've never had sex in this room?" she asked looking down at him.

"Not with anyone else." He laughed quietly looking into her amazing blue eyes.

"I find that very hard to believe." She leaned her head in her hand looking down at him.

"Why?" he asked curiously.

"I don't know. I… I just assumed that because you were a musician that you had a lot of girls falling all over you in high school." She said rolling off next to him.

"I didn't. I was a freak in high school." He rolled over onto his side to look at her, his arm was draped around her hip.

"I doubt that." She smiled at him.

"I was into my music and I listened to heavy metal. Not a trait girls liked back then." He confessed looking over at her.

"So, you never told me. Did you ever kiss Ellie Petersen?" she asked lifting her hand to caress the side of his head.

"Once, but it was horrible." He conceded caressing her back.

"Oh no Baby. What happened? Did she kick you?" she giggled.

"No, I… got caught by Chris. He made my life a living hell until I got to high school." He rolled over onto his back, bringing her close to him.

"My poor baby." She caressed his chest before laying her head down.

"Yeah. Not that I have to tell you, but older brothers suck." He smiled looking down at her.

"Unfortunately no." she looking up at him before yawning.

"Why don't you get changed and we can get comfortable." He kissed her head.

"Do I have to? I'm comfortable just the way I am." She whined looking up at him.

"We should get some sleep. I have a feeling Doug and Heather have something up their sleeves for tomorrow." He laughed looking down at her as she slowly moved off of his chest.

"OK." She agreed getting up from the bed. She rifled through the suitcase for her pajama pants and a t-shirt. Roger stripped down to his boxers, before turning the blankets on the bed down and climbing into the bed. Jami joined him shortly afterwards and they quickly fell asleep in one another's loving arms.


	13. Chapter 13

The next morning, Jami woke up in Roger's bed at his mother's house. She looked over at Roger, who was sleeping peacefully. Snoring as he always did. The stubble on his face was a mix of light brown and blond hair. His chest rose and fell with each breath. She snuck out of bed and left the room. She smelled the aroma of coffee and pancakes fill the upstairs hallway. She quietly walked down the stairs and through the living room to the kitchen. Mrs. Davis was floating around the kitchen cooking. Sensing someone watching her, she looked up at Jami. "Good morning sweetie. How did you sleep?" she asked smiling at the girl.

"Great. Thank you. Um… it smells amazing in here." She smiled walking towards the counter.

"Saturday morning breakfast. I like to do something special once a week. With everyone working all week, we're all too busy for family breakfasts every morning like when the kids were young." She smiled looking up at her as she flipped the pancakes on the griddle.

"That's nice." She smiled looking over at her.

"There's coffee on that far counter if you want some. I made sure to make plenty. I know how much my son needs his coffee in the morning." She smiled looking over at her.

"Yeah, he's pretty much useless without it." She laughed pouring herself a cup and began dumping sugar into the mug.

"From what I remember, he's incapable of carrying on any kind of conversation without it. My advice to you is take advantage of it." Mrs. Davis laughed taking pancakes off of the griddle.

"Yeah. Me and Mark tease him about it all the time." She laughed bringing the coffee mug up to her lips before taking a sip.

"Good. I'm glad he's getting some teasing. The way he and Chris have tortured poor Douglas all the years they were growing up. It's nice to see Roger getting bullied every once in a while." She laughed looking over at her.

"Mrs. Davis." Jami squeaked bursting out laughing.

"What? Roger is my son and I love him dearly, but the way he and Chris always treated Doug, they were merciless. It's nice to see you and Mark can stand on your own with him." She laughed looking over at her.

"Oh trust me. He gets plenty of torture from me and Mark." She smiled over at her. She wrapped her hands around the warm coffee mug before taking another sip.

"I'm glad the three of you are so close. Mark's the best friend Roger's ever had. He… he really stepped up when Roger needed him the most." Mrs. Davis' smile faded from her face. She became more intent in what she was doing.

"Mrs. Davis, I…" she started walking towards Mrs. Davis.

"Jami sweetie, I know my son has made his share of mistakes, but I love him more than anything in this world." she smiled over at her.

"Mrs. Davis, I... I can't..." she started before Mrs. Davis interrupted her.

"I'm sorry sweetie. I'm… I'm sorry. I shouldn't be talking about this. I'll be fine." she shook off her uneasy feeling.

"Neither will I." Jami reached over to take Mrs. Davis' arm.

"It's nice to see him happy now. He's been through a lot. I… I see that you love him very much. You're not gonna hurt him." She looked into Jami's blue eyes. Her own glistening with tears.

"I won't. I promise. He means so much to me Mrs. Davis. I… I want to take care of him." Jami started to choke up.

"So you can take care of each other. That's what a good relationship is." Mrs. Davis smiled before lifting her hand to caress Jami's face.

"We do." Jami smiled leaning in to hug Mrs. Davis.

"You two are so good for each other. I can see it by the way you are with each other. Every second you spend together, you fall more and more in love with one another. It was the same with me and my Eric." She smiled hugging the girl she was sure was going to become her daughter in law sometime in the near future.

"With all my heart, Mrs. Davis." Jami forced back her tears hugging her boyfriend's mother.

"My son is so lucky to have such a sweet, smart girl like you in his life." Mrs. Davis pulled back and smiled at Jami.

"I'm pretty lucky to have him too." Jami smiled as Mrs. Davis swiped the tears that had fallen from her own eyes.

"OK, Um... can you wake Roger up for me? Breakfast is almost ready." Mrs. Davis smiled before nonchalantly going about finishing breakfast.

"Um… OK." She said before going towards the coffee maker to pour another cup of coffee.

"Good idea. He's less likely to throw a pillow at you if you're holding a full coffee mug." Mrs. Davis laughed feeling good about her conversation with her son's girlfriend.

"Yeah. He's got surprisingly good aim for someone half coherent." Jami laughed looking over at her.

"Yeah, I know. Oh, can you have Roger wake Doug up. If I let him, that boy would sleep until we go out tonight." She laughed looking over at her.

"What about Heather?" she asked looking over at her.

"She's out for a run. She should be back a little later." She smiled up at her.

"I'll be right back." Jami smiled taking both cups of coffee up the stairs with her. She opened Roger's bedroom door and placed the coffee mugs on the dresser before going towards the bed. She carefully crawled onto the bed, leaning in to her boyfriend. Hovering over his right ear. "Roger." She whispered before slowly leaning in to kiss his pierced lobe. "Roger honey. Wake up my love." She smiled speaking a bit louder this time. He began to stir. Grunting, like he always did as he did so.

"Mmm, what time is it?" he asked as his green eyes crept open.

"Half past 8. Your mom's making the most wonderful breakfast spread I've ever seen." She smiled leaning back on her heels.

"Is anyone else up?" he asked looking up at her as he put his hands behind his head.

"Heather went for a run, but Doug's still asleep. Your mom wants you to wake him up." She smiled down at him.

"Ugh, I was hoping to sleep in with my girl." He groaned.

"Well, your girl is starving and wants to dig into those beautiful pancakes and some of those sausages your mom's got cooking down stairs." She smiled getting up from the bed, retrieving Roger's coffee mug.

"Sausages? She's making sausages?" he asked more attentive.

"Yep. And they smell wonderful." She smiled handing him his coffee mug.

"I bet they do. She always used to make a huge spread when we were little. I used to go to school every morning stuffed." He chuckled remembering his childhood.

"Yeah, she was saying." She smiled reaching for her own coffee mug before sitting on the edge of the bed.

"What else was she saying behind my back?" he asked curiously.

"That she likes how we are together." She smiled over at him.

"She likes you James. She likes you a lot." He smiled up at her.

"She… she sees how happy we make each other. How much… how much we love each other." She told him quietly.

"I do love you so much James." He reached for her hand.

"She said that just by looking at us, she can tell that with each passing moment, we fall more and more in love with one another." She smiled at him.

"It's the truth. At least… at least for me it is." He set his coffee mug on the night stand before sitting up and doing the same with hers. He moved over, collecting her into his arms and holding her close.

"Me too Roger." She whispered leaning her face into his bare chest.

"I know James." He whispered kissing her head, running his fingers through his hair.

"I love you Roger." She breathed out a cleansing sigh, caressing his bare back with her hands.

"James, marry me." He blurted out as she tilted her head up to look up at him.

"Um... what?" she asked nervously.

"I want to spend the rest of my life telling you and showing you how much I love you. And with every passing day, it'll be more and more. I'm asking you to marry me Baby." He asked lifting his hand up to caress her face.

"I… I um… OK." She stuttered looking up at him.

"Yeah?" he asked looking down at her. His smile widened as he stared into her blue eyes.

"Mhm. There's no place I'd rather be then in your arms, for the rest of our lives." She nodded, tears filling her eyes more and more.

"I love you so much James." He smiled leaning down to kiss her tenderly on the lips.

"I don't doubt that Roger." She whispered looking up at him.

"I'm gonna make sure you never do." He smiled holding her tight to him.

"Come on. Breakfast is ready. Your mom's gonna be looking for us and you still need to wake Doug up." She smiled up at him.

"And we have to tell everyone that we're getting married." He smiled looking down at her.

"Roger, can… can we wait a little while on that?" she asked looking up at him.

"What's the matter Baby?" he asked as she wiped the tears that had escaped her eyes.

"I… I want to call my family and tell them about you before we tell anyone that we're getting married." She smiled looking up at him.

"OK James. We'll keep it to ourselves until you talk to your family, OK?" he smiled caressing her face.

"You are the most wonderful, understanding man." She smiled leaning up to kiss him.

"Anything for my girl." He smiled at her.

"You always say that." She giggled looking up at him.

"Well I would do anything for my girl. Never question that." His tone was serious and insistent.

"I question a lot of things in my life, your love and devotion could never be one of them." She leaned up to kiss him. He let go of her to put his sweatpants and t-shirt. "Where are you going?" she asked.

"To battle." He laughed before reaching for the door knob.

"Oh lord." She laughed rolling her eyes and following him.

"Here Dougie, Dougie, Dougie." Roger called out opening his younger brother's bedroom door.

"Get the fuck out Roger, c'mon man." Doug yelled throwing a pillow across the room.

"Oh come Dougie, you know you missed your big brother waking you up." Roger laughed jumping on the bed.

"Yeah, like I miss my braces." Doug groaned sarcastically.

"I'll meet you boys downstairs. I'm sure Doug would appreciate it if I wasn't called as a witness for the prosecution at his murder trial." Jami laughed going back into hers and Roger's room to retrieve the coffee mugs and bringing them downstairs.

"I hear Roger's up." Mrs. Davis laughed looking up at Jami as she set the table for breakfast.

"Yeah, you can say that." Jami laughed looking over at her.

"I guess everyone has their crosses to bear. Mine are my boys." She smiled up at her.

"Three boys must have been an adventure when they were little." Jami laughed sitting at the table.

"Their even worse now that they're grown men. At least when they were little I could take away their luxuries as leverage. Now, I'm powerless." She sat down next to her.

"Was it nice when Heather was born?" Jami asked looking over at her.

"Very nice. Pink dresses, ruffles, hair ties. I loved every second of it. And she had Eric wrapped around her chubby little fingers." She smiled lifting up her coffee mug to take a sip.

"Yeah, daddy's girl." Jami's smile faded from her face.

"What's your family make up sweetie?" she asked looking over at her.

"I'm French and Irish Catholic. I'm the youngest of 6 kids. 5 brothers and me. My… my parents wanted all boys. They named me James." She confessed looking over at her.

"Oh sweetie. No one really appreciated you for who you were, did they?" she asked looking over at her.

"Not until I met Mark and Roger." She said looking over at her.

"Well, we do. You're a wonderful young girl who loves my son. You're a part of this family too now." Mrs. Davis smiled patting the girls hand before Roger and Doug came barreling down the stairs.

"Thank you." Jami smiled softly before looking up at Roger. His hair was a mess and his face was red from apparently wrestling with his brother. Doug looked a little worse for the wear as well.

"Where's the squirt?" Roger asked sitting next to Jami.

"Roger, she's 22. When are you gonna stop calling her that?" Mrs. Davis asked looking over at her son.

"Never. She'll always be a squirt to me." Roger smiled before shoving a sausage into his mouth.

"You are so disgusting." Doug told him piling pancakes on his plate.

"Dude, you eat mom's cooking all the time. I don't." Roger defended himself.

"You can come to visit more, you know?" Mrs. Davis pointed out looking over at her son.

"Careful what you wish for." Roger smiled at his mother before looking over at Jami.


	14. Chapter 14

"Come on Jami, we're leaving." Heather called up the stairs as she and her mother waited for Jami in the living room.

"I'm coming." Jami called out reaching for her pocket book.

"Do you have to leave me?" Roger asked looking up at her from the bed.

"Roger, I'm not leaving you. I'm going shopping with your mother and your sister. I wanna pick up something to wear to the bar tonight." She flipped her hair back before putting her purse over her shoulder.

"I picked something out, but you didn't want to pack it." He smiled up at her.

"How was I supposed to know we were going out to a karaoke bar to hear your cousin DJ?" she laughed looking down at him.

"OK, fine. Just have fun, OK?" he smiled looking up at her.

"I'm sure I will. Hearing more stories about you when you were little." She giggled leaning down to kiss him goodbye.

"Whatever you hear, remember that you already agreed to marry me." He smiled up at her.

"I promise, nothing I hear about you would ever make me change my mind about marrying you." She smiled kissing him tenderly on the lips.

"I love you James." He whispered caressing her face.

"I love you too Roger." She smiled before leaving the bedroom. She rushed down the stairs towards the other women.

"Finally. Jeez, do you think Roger could live without you for a couple of hours?" Heather teased looking over at Jami.

"He's cute." Jami smiled as they left the house.

"Yeah, like a German Sheppard." Heather laughed looking over at her.

"So, where were you this morning? We missed you at breakfast." Jami asked as they got into Mrs. Davis' car.

"I… I went out for a run. I ran farther than I thought I would and then I had to rest before I started back. Um… sorry." She stuttered trying to avoid the other woman.

"You're hiding something, aren't you?" Jami smiled at her.

"We've known each other less than 24 hours. How could you possibly be able to read me already?" Heather asked with a guilty conscience.

"Talent. Now spill it. Where were you really?" Jami asked as Mrs. Davis paid close attention.

"OK fine. I was at my boyfriend's house." She confessed looking over at them.

"Since when do you have a boyfriend? And why am I only hearing about it now?" Mrs. Davis asked looking over at her.

"You know how Chris, Roger and Doug are. It sucks having 3 big brothers." She groaned looking over at her mother.

"I hear ya on that. I have 5 big brothers." Jami said looking over at her.

"See, you know how horrible they could be sometimes. I mean, I love them but, god forbid I bring a guy around. You see how they treat each other. Can you imagine how they would treat a stranger?" she asked looking over at her Jami.

"Good point." Mrs. Davis smiled at her.

"Exactly. They could never know about him. Promise me you guys won't tell them anything." She insisted looking over at them.

"You don't plan on keeping him a secret forever, do you?" Mrs. Davis asked looking over at her.

"I don't know mom. How long do you think my brother's are gonna be jerks?" she asked looking over at her.

"I guess that does mean forever." Jami laughed looking over at her.

"Jami. You're talking about Roger too, you know?" Mrs. Davis laughed looking over at her.

"Hey, I love him more than anything in the world, but he is a master of torment." Jami laughed looking over at her.

"Finally, an ally." Heather smiled looking over at her.

"I pity the boys when you two are together." Mrs. Davis laughed continuing to drive to the mall.

"You should. I have a feeling with Jami around and Roger wrapped around her little finger, the other two won't stand a chance." Heather laughed maniacally as Jami and Mrs. Davis laughed along.

The girls shopped for hours at the mall. Jami finding many deals and some nice clothes. Mrs. Davis took the girls out for lunch before returning back home. As soon as the door opened Roger come rushing down the stairs. "You're back. What took you so long?" he asked wrapping his arms around Jami, picking her up.

"God Roger, pathetic much?" Heather laughed putting her bags on the couch.

"I… I missed her." He whined putting Jami down.

"Apparently." Heather laughed plopping on the couch.

"Shut up squirt. Unless you want me to grill you on missing breakfast this morning." Roger smirked pointing at Heather.

"Carry on then." Heather called out, getting up from the couch and rushing up to her room.

"What's with her?" he asked suspicious.

"Never mind. What have you boys been up to while we were gone?" Mrs. Davis asked looking up at him.

"Doug went back to sleep, lazy ass, so I've been doing some writing." He smiled over at his mother.

"Well, I'm exhausted, so I'm gonna take a little nap before dinner. We have a long night of fun to rest up for." Jami smiled leaning up to kiss her boyfriend/ fiancé.

"Have a good nap sweetie." Mrs. Davis smiled looking up at her as she went to the bedroom.

"You girls had fun together, huh?" he asked looking over at his mother.

"Yeah. Heather and Jami are getting along great. Like they've known each other their whole lives." She smiled going into the kitchen.

"They're gonna be conspiring together, aren't they?" Roger laughed following her.

"Yeah, I'd say it's a pretty safe bet that you and your brothers are in serious trouble." Mrs. Davis laughed reaching into the refrigerator for a bottle of water.

"I'm glad." Roger smiled sitting at the kitchen table he looked down at his hands.

"Roger, what's going on?" she asked looking down at her son.

"What do you mean?" he asked looking up at his mother.

"You've been acting strange since you woke up this morning. Is there something going on that I should know about?" she asked concerned.

"Can you keep a secret?" he asked looking up at her.

"How big a secret?" she asked sitting next to him.

"Huge." He grinned at her.

"Roger Michael Davis. What is going on?" she asked looking over at him.

"This morning I… I asked Jami to marry me and she said yes." He told her very quietly.

"Roger, that's…" she started excitedly.

"Mom, secret remember? Me and Jami want to hold off on telling anyone until she talks to her family. I don't even want her to know that you know." He whispered looking over at her.

"Do you… do you have a ring?" she asked looking over at him.

"Not… not yet. I wanted to have one to give her but, I… I just asked her out of the blue. It… it wasn't planned. I know it was wrong, but…" He said looking over at her.

"You followed your heart Roger. That's never wrong." She smiled taking his hand.

"But ma, I… I love her and I don't have anything to show her that I do." He said looking over at her.

"Maybe you do. Hang on." She said looking over at him before getting up from the chair and going up the stairs. He waited for her to return, curious as to what his mother was up to. When she returned, she was smiling at him.

"What are you up to mom?" he asked looking over at her.

"Here. Your father gave that to me and now I'm giving it to you." She smiled handing him a ring box.

"Mom, it's your…" he started as he opened the box seeing it's contents.

"Engagement ring. Yeah Roger, I wore it for many years." She smirked down at him.

"But it's yours. Dad gave it to you. I can't…"

"Yes you can Roger. I'm giving it to you now. I want you to put that on Jami's finger." She smiled looking down at him.

"Thanks mom. I… I don't know what to say." He said looking up at her.

"Just make my daughter in law happy, OK? She's a great girl and she belongs in this family. She can take you on." She laughed as Roger got up to hug his mother.

"I love you mom." He smiled hugging his mother tight.

"I love you so much Roger. Now, go give that girl this ring. I can't wait to see it on her." She smiled up at him.

"Sure." He smiled kissing his mother's head before rushing up the stairs.


	15. Chapter 15

Roger stood in the doorway of his bedroom and stared down at Jami, who was lying in his bed, sleeping. He clutched the ring box in his hand. The velvet of the box itched his palm. He couldn't wait to give his fiance her ring. He wanted to wake her up but she looked so peaceful. He entered the bedroom and sat on the bed. He slipped the ring box into the night table drawer before lying down next to her. He wrapped his body around hers and held her close to him. About an hour and a half later, Jami woke up in Roger's arms. She craned her head back before turning her body around to face him. She smiled, reaching up to caress his face. His eyes crept open. His green eyes met her blue ones. "Good afternoon sleepy head." She smiled leaning in to kiss him.

"You're the one who needed a nap after shopping with my mom and Heather." He laughed holding her tight.

"Yeah well, those girls can shop. And find bargains? Heather has a nose for them." She laughed looking up at him.

"A trait I'm glad skipped me." He laughed looking at her.

"So, what brings you up here stranger?" she smiled at him.

"I had something I wanted to ask you but you were asleep, so I just thought I'd lay down with you for a little while." He smiled looking at her.

"Oh really? What did you want to ask me?" she smiled at him. He leaned back and opened the night table drawer. Cupping the velvet box in his hand, he brought it closer to her. "What… what is that?" she asked knowing full well what it was.

"Before when… when I asked you to marry me, I wasn't fully prepared. I wanted to give this to you, but I was impatient." He stuttered opening the box. A beautiful heart shaped diamond set on a gold band sat neatly in the box. The diamond sparkled.

"Where… where did you get that?" she asked looking down at the ring before looking up at him.

"It… it was my moms. My… my dad gave it to her 32 years ago. She… she wants you to have it." He took the ring out of the box, taking her left hand, he placed the ring on her ring finger.

"I… I love it Roger. It's… gorgeous." She smiled holding her hand up to admire the new ornament on her finger.

"I… I also kind of told her that we're engaged." He smiled at her.

"It's… it's OK. Um… I… I was thinking that I would call my mom from here and tell her all about you. Then when we go visit her, we can tell her then that we're engaged." She smiled at him.

"How about everyone else? You know Heather is gonna see moms ring on your finger and know automatically." He smiled at her.

"It's OK to tell everyone here. We can celebrate it tonight." She smiled at him.

"Awesome." He called out kissing her deeply.

"Roger, Jami dinner's ready." Heather called out pounding on the bedroom door.

"I want to tell Heather."Jami smiled jumping out of the bed.

" I figured you'd want to tell your new partner in crime." he laughed laying flat on his back.

"Of course." she laughed opening the door. "Heather, guess what?" she asked excitedly.

"Roger liked that red number I picked out for you, right? I told you he would. Didn't I tell you?" she asked looking over at her.

"What red number?" Roger asked looking over at them as Jami slapped his chest.

"Not now" she laughed at him. "No, I wanted to show you this." she smiled at her.

"Oh my God, it's mom's ring. Roger proposed to you?" she asked looking down at the ring.

"This morning, but he gave this to me just now." she smiled at her.

"I can't believe it. I'm finally gonna have a sister." Heather called out hugging her soon to be sister in law tight.

"Isn't it exciting?" she smiled hugging her back.

"It's amazing Jami. Congratulations. I knew there was a brain in there somewhere." she smiled up at her brother who was leaning against the doorway smiling at the women.

"Yeah, I guess I'm not as dumb as I look, huh?" he chuckled looking over at them.

"You're still as dumb as you look, but you have your moments." Heather laughed reaching over to hug her brother.

"Gee thanks squirt." he laughed hugging his sister.

"Come on. We gotta tell everyone." she called out excitedly, grabbing Jami's hand and dragging her down the stairs.

"Um... help." Jami called out looking up at Roger.

"You wanted everyone to know." he laughed following them.

"Mom, Roger's getting married." she called out.

"Roger's what?" Chris asked looking up from the dining room table.

"He proposed to Jami and she said yes. See, she's wearing mom's ring." Heather called out, holding Jami's hand up for him to see.

"When did you do this?" Doug asked looking up at him.

"I... I actually asked her this morning and then mom gave me her ring." he looked at his brothers, who were stunned.

"See, I told you he would ask Jami to marry him. Didn't I tell you Doug? But you said, no. Roger's too afraid of commitment. Eat that sucker. My 20 bucks please." Heather ranted holding her hand out.

"You bet on me being afraid of commitment?" Roger asked looking at his younger brother.

"You bet on whether Roger would propose to me or not?" Jami asked mildly amused.

"Um, yeah. You coming home has been very profitable for me." Heather laughed as Doug handed her a 20 dollar bill.

"What else did you two bet on since we've been here?" Jami asked as Roger put his arms around her.

"I don't think you want to know the answer to that Baby." Roger laughed looking down at her.

"I do. What have my kids been betting on?" Mrs. Davis smiled looking over at them.

"Um... well... we, um..." Doug stuttered looking over at Heather.

"Now I gotta hear this." Chris laughed getting up from the table and approaching the others.

"We... kind of bet that Roger would want to have sex in his bed." Heather volunteered as Doug smacked her arm.

"Heather." he yelled looking over at her.

"You were spying on us last night?" Roger asked looking over at his sister.

"Uh... yeah." Heather smiled as if it were obvious.

"Oh, you suck." Roger growled at her as Jami laughed.

"You're in trouble now." Chris smiled looking over at them.

"I'm just sorry I wasn't here this morning to hear Roger propose to Jami. That must have been so romantic." Heather smiled at them.

"It was." Jami smiled looking up at Roger who leaned down to kiss her.

"By the way, where were you this morning anyway?" Roger asked curiously.

"Can we eat now? I'm starving. Mom didn't make lunch today." Chris complained looking over at them.

"Nice to see you're excited big bro." Roger groaned looking over at Chris.

"Dude, we all knew you were gonna do it. I mean, the way you look at her. It was only a matter of when. Now can we eat? I'm starving." he asked as Roger looked over at him.

"Yeah sure. I guess." he was taken by surprise. His brother has never been observant, but here he was, predicting that he would propose to Jami after only seeing them together for 24 hours.

"I'm starving too." Jami smiled before breaking free of Roger's loving grasp and going to the dinner table with the rest of the Davis clan. She smiled at Mrs. Davis before they began eating.

"So I was thinking after dinner, we can all start getting ready and we can leave for the bar at about 8." Mrs. Davis suggested looking over at her family.

"Um... I... I was wondering if it would be OK if I called my mother. I... I still haven't even told her about Roger. Much less that we're engaged." Jami said looking over at Mrs. Davis.

"Of course sweetie. You can use the extension in Roger's room. It'll give you privacy." she smiled at her.

"Thank you. Um... I'm just gonna tell her about him, but I'm gonna save telling her about our engagement until we go up to visit her." she said looking up at Roger.

"Maybe we can go see here next weekend or something." Roger suggested eating his dinner.

"Yeah, maybe. I... I wanted to try to get some weekends off anyway, so we could come back here more often." she smiled up at him.

"We would love that sweetie." Mrs Davis smiled as the family ate their dinner.


	16. Chapter 16

Jami sat on Roger's bed, staring at the phone. He came in from his shower wrapped in a towel. "Baby, what did she say?" he asked looking over at her.

"I... I kind of haven't called her yet." she looked up at him.

"There's nothing to be scared of James. I'm sure all your mother wants is for you to be happy and I do make you happy, right?" he smiled sitting next to her.

"Of course you do Roger. You... you know that. It's just... she can be so old fashioned." she said looking up at him.

"Call her, James. She just may surprise you." he leaned over to kiss her head.

"You suck Roger Michael Davis." she laughed looking up at him.

"Yeah well, you're marrying me so you're gonna have to live with it." he laughed looking down at her.

"My cross to bear, huh?" she laughed leaning in to him.

"And you love me anyway." he leaned in to kiss her head.

"Yes I do." she smiled before reaching for the phone. She dialed the number and waited for someone to answer.

"Hello." a voice answered as the ringing stopped.

"Mama, it's... it's Jami." she spoke out quietly.

"James Frances, is everything OK?" the older woman asked, surprised to hear her daughter's voice on a Saturday evening.

"Yeah mama, I'm... I'm fine. I wanted to tell you something." she said looking up at Roger.

"What is it honey? You're not in any trouble, are you?" Mrs. Barnett asked concerned.

"No mama. I'm... I'm not in any trouble. I... wanted to call you and tell you that I... I met someone. I met a wonderful man. We've... we've been dating for over a month and we're in love." she told her as a smile crossed her face.

"That's wonderful dear. Do you want to tell me about him?" she asked knowing how secretive her daughter is.

"His name is Roger Davis and he's a musician. He lives around the corner from me." she smiled telling her mother about Roger.

"When am I gonna meet the man in my daughter's life?" she asked curious.

"In... in a couple of weeks probably. I... I want to bring him home so you can meet him." she stuttered out uncomfortably.

"That's wonderful sweetheart. I'm so happy for you." she smiled hearing her daughter's happiness over the phone lines.

"Mama, can you... can you do me a favor?" she asked.

"Of course Jami, anything." she smiled sitting at her kitchen table.

"Can you keep the boys away? I mean, I don't want them to give Roger a hard time." she said fiddling with the phone wire.

"You just let me worry about the boys. They won't give Roger a hard time. I promise." she smiled excitedly.

"Thank you mama. I... I love you." she smiled looking up at Roger, who was dressed and standing by the dresser watching his fiance talk to her mother.

"I love you too darling." she smiled talking to her daughter. The women spoke for a few more minutes before Jami cut the conversation short so she could start getting ready to go out. When she hung up the phone, she smiled up at Roger.

"She's excited. She... can't wait to meet you." she smiled up at him.

"I'm not gonna get grilled by your brothers?" he laughed walking over to her.

"No. Mama promised to take care of them." she smiled at him.

"I was looking forward to the death match." he laughed sitting next to her.

"I wouldn't think you're off the hook yet. They may fear mama, but they will put you through the ringer in their own subtle way." she laughed looking up at him.

"I'll do anything for you James. Even deal with 5 protective older brothers." he laughed putting his arms around her.

"They're... they're not as protective as you are. My relationship with them is different than the one you have with Heather." she looked up at him, a bit of sadness in her eyes.

"How do you know? You said you never brought a boy home before." he held her closer to him.

"I... I guess I don't know." she looked up into his green eyes.

"Why don't you start getting ready? I'm gonna go downstairs and see if mom's got some left over roast beef in the fridge." he smiled down at her.

"Roger, you just ate. How could you eat any more?" she laughed looking up at him.

"I have a feeling it's gonna be a long night." he laughed kissing her before getting up. She went into the bathroom and he went downstairs to the kitchen.

"Hey Rog, where's Jami?" Chris asked sitting at the kitchen table eating a roast beef sandwich.

"Shower. She's getting ready to go out." he smiled looking over at him before going to the refrigerator.

"So, you're getting married, huh?" Chris asked smiling up at him.

"Yeah. She said yes. I guess that's half the battle." Roger chuckled looking over at his older brother.

"Good for you man. She's a great girl. We all really like her, a lot." he smiled before taking a bite of his sandwich.

"Yeah, her and Heather are getting along great." Roger smiled casually, making a sandwich.

"You know, ma's really happy that you're finally happy. She worries about you in the city." Chris said as Roger looked over at him.

"With... with good reason. I... I screwed a lot up." he said looking over at him regretful.

"Yeah you did. You fucked your life up so bad over there. You had all these big dreams of sex, drugs and rock and roll and because of it, mom's gonna lose you young just like dad." he said getting up from the table.

"You don't think I know that Chris? You don't think I think about it everyday? Everyday when I have to take my meds, I think about it." he said looking up at him.

"And Jami loves you anyway. She gave you a chance, despite everything. You have got to be the luckiest son of a bitch on the planet right about now to have her in your life." he started to smile as he stood in front of his brother.

"Yeah, she gave me a do over. She saw past all my rock star shit and saw me. The real me." he said looking over at him.

"Take care of her little bro. Because if you don't... I'll have to kick your ass." Chris hit Roger's bicep.

"Don't worry man. I will." he smiled before hugging his older brother.

"What's going on in here?" Mrs. Davis smiled coming into the kitchen wearing a light blue sweater and a pair of jeans.

"Nothing ma. We're just eating a little sandwich before we go out. Can't drink on an empty stomach." Chris covered letting go of his brother and going back to the kitchen table.

"You boys just ate an hour ago. How could you possibly be hungry again?" she asked getting herself a glass of water.

"Davis gene. We're always hungry." Chris smiled looking over at her before taking a bite of his sandwich.

"Yeah, my boys." she laughed taking a sip of her water.

An hour later, everyone in the Davis family was hanging out in the bar, and everyone was having fun. Roger's aunt and uncle were sitting at the other end of the bar from the kids, laughing and singing along to the classic songs that John was playing. Jami sat on a barstool with Roger behind her, talking to Heather and Roger's cousin Gloria. Her husband Dwayne was standing next to Roger. They used to be best friends in high school so they were talking about old times. Jami was laughing with Heather when John put on an the song Losing My Religion by R.E.M. "Oh my God." she called out looking up at Roger.

"What's the matter Baby?" he asked looking down at her.

"Mark. We... we need to tell Mark." she said looking up at him. He placed his beer bottle on the bar before looking back at her.

"It's OK. Mark'll be fine. He'll be happy for us. You'll see." he said looking down at her.

"But what about when we get married. Either you'll have to move in with me or I'll have to move in with you, but..." she looked up at him.

"James, breathe. Everything's gonna be fine. Trust me." he smiled before leaning down to kiss her.

"Breathe, right." she smiled faintly taking a deep breath.

"We'll figure out the living arrangements later. Besides, as long as I don't take you away from him, he'll be thrilled." he laughed caressing her face.

"Yeah right. He does get pretty possessive." she laughed as Gloria, Dwayne and Heather looked at them curiously.

"Wait a minute. You guys have this sick threesome going on, don't you?" Heather asked making Jami laugh and Roger crinkle his nose in disgust.

"No, you little perv. Mark's Jami's cameraman. They're working on her screenplay." Roger told her as Jami buried her face in Roger's chest.

"Oh? Is that how you two met?" Gloria asked looking over at them.

"Yeah, Mark introduced us in the Life Cafe one day and the next day he told Roger that I liked him and he invited me to the cafe to meet him and Roger. I was so mad at him that he told Roger, but he told me that Roger liked me too. We met up at the cafe that morning and I guess you can say the rest is history." she smiled summing up their love story.

"That is so sweet." Gloria smiled at them.

"You're a lucky guy Rog. Hard to believe that heavy metal freak in high school, who couldn't get Ellie Petersen to go out with him got the prettiest girl in New York to marry him." Dwayne smiled at him.

"Yeah, if I remember correctly, she had a thing for older guys anyway." Roger laughed picking up his beer from off of the bar.

"You have no idea." Gloria muttered sipping her wine.

"What does that mean?" Jami laughed looking over at her.

"She married some old guy. I mean real old. Last I heard they were living in Malibu in his huge mansion." Gloria smiled looking over at Roger.

"Now that's sick." Roger laughed tipping his beer bottle back as the R.E.M song ended.

"Now I wanna bring a couple of my favorite people up here. My cousins Roger, Chris, Doug and brother in law Dwayne, get up here." he called out as Jami looked up at Roger smiling.

"What is he up to?" she asked looking up at Roger.

"I don't know, but this should be fun." he laughed setting his beer down on the bar before going up to the stage. "What do you have up your sleeve?" he asked looking over at John.

"You'll see big cousin." he laughed handing microphones all around. When the music started Roger laughed, throwing his head back. It was Bruce Springsteen's Glory Days. One of Roger's favorite songs. He winked over at Jami, who was laughing.

"I love this song." Jami called out taking Heather's hand and dragging her over to the stage so she could hear Roger sing. Roger and the other guys sang and had fun. Jami stared up at him. He was breathtaking. It was as if she was hearing him sing for the first time. She had heard him sing along to his guitar, but never really heard him sing with music behind him before and he was having fun. He was amazing. She smiled up at him as her eyes sparkled. By the end of the night, Jami and the girls had sung songs and the Davis boys had done a handful of other fun 80's songs.

By the time they got back to Roger's mothers house, it was late and everyone was feeling rather tipsy. Except Mrs. Davis, who was the designated driver. Chris slept in his old room as Roger and Jami retired to his bedroom. "Did you have fun tonight?" Roger asked taking his jacket off.

"It was great. I especially loved hearing you sing." she smiled seductively, throwing her arms around his neck.

"I was singing for you." he smiled wrapping his arms around her waist holding her closer to him.

"You looked like you were having a blast up there." she smiled up at him

"I was. I love singing up there, having fun." he leaned his forehead against hers.

"I want to hear you singing more. A lot more." she whispered leaning in to kiss him.

"You're drunk Miss Barnett." he laughed looking into her blue eyes.

"I am not Mr. Davis." she smiled up at him.

"Oh really? Would you like to do a field sobriety test for me?" he laughed holding her up.

"OK, maybe I'm a little drunk. But I couldn't help it. I had so much fun tonight. The music, your family telling stories about you. You dodging the Ellie Petersen bullet." she laughed looking up at him.

"Maybe I should get you some aspirin and a tall glass of water. You're gonna need it." he smiled leaning down to kiss her.

"Don't leave me Roger. I want to fall asleep in your arms forever." she looked up in his eyes.

"I will never leave you James. Please believe that." he whispered looking down into her eyes.

"I want to. I really do, but we both know..." she started when he leaned down to kiss her.

"We're here tonight. That's all that counts." he caressed her face.

"That's all that counts for me." she smiled leading him to the bed.

"Why don't you lay down and I'll get you some aspirin and water, then we can continue this?" he smiled kissing her head.

"OK. I'll be waiting." she smiled up at him laying down in the bed. Roger laughed as he left the room to go get some aspirin from the bathroom and a glass of water. By the time he returned to his room, his fiance was asleep. He set the aspirin and water on the night stand before laying next to her and going to sleep, wrapped around her.

The next morning, Roger was up before Jami. She looked so peaceful sleeping next to him, he decided to leave her. She would be up soon and feeling rather hung over. He quietly got out of bed and went downstairs to see if anyone else was alive. His mother was sitting at the kitchen table sipping coffee while she read the paper. "Morning ma." he smiled over at her before going to the coffee machine.

"Good morning sweetie. I didn't expect you up until later. How's Jami feeling?" she asked looking up at her middle son.

"She's still asleep. I figured I'd leave her for a little while. She's gonna feel like shit when she finally does wake up." he smiled pouring his coffee.

"Yeah, but she did have a lot of fun, didn't she?" Mrs. Davis laughed looking up at him.

"So did you. I never knew you had it in you." he laughed sitting next to her picking up the entertainment section of the paper.

"Hey, I wasn't always a mom, you know?" she laughed looking over at him.

"It was great being out with everyone. It... it means a lot that everyone likes Jami." he smiled sipping his hot coffee carefully.

"We do sweetie. Not as much as you do, but from what I can tell, that's not a bad thing." she smiled.

"Ma, can... can I ask you a favor?" he asked looking over at her.

"Anything Roger, you know that." she smiled at him.

"When... when the time comes, can... can you guys help Mark take care of her for me. I... I wish I could, but we both know..." he started as his mother interrupted him.

"Roger, you know that your time isn't gonna be for a while. You're young and with all the breakthroughs they're making..." she put her hand on his arm.

"Ma, we both know that it's not likely that I'll live as long as Jami and I... I just want to make sure she's taken care of. She's gonna be my wife." he said looking over at her.

"Of course Roger. We'll all do whatever we can to help Jami in any way. And Mark for that matter. That poor boy won't know what to do with himself without you. He's taken care of you most of his adult life."

"I'm so sorry mom. For everything. There's... there's nothing I can say or do to take away all the mistakes I made." he stared down into his coffee cup.

"You don't have to Roger. Everyone makes mistakes. Yours are no worse than anyone else's." she reassured him as only a mother could.

"Yeah well, you and Jami and everyone else is gonna have to pay for the mistakes I made." he said looking over at her.

"Yet she's marrying you anyway. Roger, she's so in love with you that any time you two have together is a gift. Not only to each other, but to everyone around you. I'm so happy that you finally met a girl so grounded and who is so good for you." she smiled up at him.

"Ma, I really love her. I... I never loved anyone the way I love her." he looked over at her.

"I can tell. Trust me Roger. Everyone can tell." she laughed looking up at him.

"Mom, would... would it be OK if I took your car for a while today? I... I want to take James around Hackensack. You know, show her where I went to school and stuff." he asked looking over at her.

"Of course honey, but no christening the back seat." she teased pointing to him.

"Oh come on ma. I'm 28 years old. I do have a bed of my own, you know?" he smirked over at her.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just remember what I said Roger Michael. You are not too old for me to punish you." she laughed getting up from her chair.

"Yes mom." he smiled drinking his coffee. "I'm gonna go see if Jami's up yet. She's gonna need aspirin and plenty of coffee after last night." he got up and started pouring coffee into a mug.

"Good idea. She drank an awful lot last night." she laughed looking over at him.

"But she did have fun, didn't she?" he asked looking over at her.

"Yeah, I think that's a safe bet. Seeing you sing really made her night." she smiled at her.

"I know. I... I want her to see me in the city." he looked down.

"So do it. You're a very talented musician Roger. You always were." his mother smiled as she continued making breakfast.

"Thanks ma." he smiled at her before going upstairs to his room. When he opened the door, he smiled over at the bed where his fiance was still sleeping soundly. She was curled up under the covers, clutching a pillow. He tip toed over to the bed, setting the coffee mugs on the nightstand. As he sat on the bed, she began to stir. She turned over and slowly opened her eyes.

"Mmm, good morning. What time is it?" she groaned stretching in the bed.

"9:30 or so. How do you feel?" he asked looking down at her.

"OK I guess. I'm not dead, am I?" she asked looking over at him.

"Unfortunately no. But you look beautiful." he laughed leaning down to kiss her head.

"Liar. But I love you for it." she laughed gently looking up at him.

"Here. Take some aspirin and finish this water. I have some coffee for you when you're done." he smiled leaning over to retrieve the aspirin and water from the night before.

"You are a life saver." she smiled sitting up on her elbow. She placed the aspirin in her mouth and swallowed her water in a couple of gulps.

"Better?" he asked smiling down at her.

"Getting there. Coffee please." she requested before sitting up carefully against the pillows behind her.

"Are you OK Baby?" he asked amused by her hung over state.

"I'm alive. I'll be fine soon." she smiled at him.

"Good, because I want to take you out today." he smiled at her.

"Roger, we have laundry to do and we have to get ready to go home later." she said sipping the coffee desperately.

"Don't worry about that. I want to take you around the neighborhood. Show you around." he smiled looking up at her.

"Oh yeah? Do I get to see where you kissed Ellie Petersen?" she giggled despite her hang over headache.

"Oh yeah, you belong here." he laughed leaning in to kiss her.


	17. Chapter 17

Monday morning: The phone rings. Jami is stirred out of her sleep. She reaches over quickly to silence it. "Hello." she groaned as Roger began to stir next to her.

"You're back? Well, nice of you to have called me so I wasn't worried sick about you." the voice ranted on.

"Ugh Roger, it's some whiny voice for you." she groaned nudging Roger before tossing him the phone.

"Good morning Mark." he laughed leaning up on his elbow.

"What the hell time did you two get back from Jersey?" he asked as Jami was cuddled underneath the covers.

"About midnight last night." he smiled looking down at Jami.

"We're fine dad." she yelled into her pillow, holding it tight.

"Well, you guys were gone all weekend and I didn't hear from you and then you get back in town and you don't call me to let me know you're OK. I was worried about Jami. How was I supposed to know that the Davis family didn't take her hostage and turn her into a Jersey girl or something?" he rambled on.

"Thanks for the vote of confidence bro. Geez, you act like my family is a bunch of crazy people or something." he laughed sitting up in the bed.

"Have you met them?" Mark laughed as Roger laughed along.

"Point taken." he smiled down at Jami who was under the covers.

"Sorry, it's just... I... I missed my friends." he went on.

"You're forgiven. Listen, why don't we meet you at the cafe for some breakfast." he smiled as Jami uncovered herself with the blanket and gave him a look.

"Can I expect you two before noon?" Mark joked.

"Yeah, we'll see you in like an hour." he answered looking down at her.

"OK. See you guys then." he smiled hanging up the phone.

"Is his geeky little nose bent back into shape?" she asked looking up at him.

"I think so. We have to start getting ready to meet him. I wanna tell him about the engagement." he smiled looking down at her.

"Me too. I'm really excited to tell him." she smiled at him.

"So get ready." he laughed sweeping her into his arms.

"You know, there is one thing we didn't get to do this weekend." she smiled kissing his chest.

"I wanted to Saturday night, but you passed out before I came back into the bedroom." he laughed looking down at her.

"Sorry. I was kind of a little drunk." she giggled looking up at him.

"A little drunk? James, you, Heather, Gloria, my mom and my aunt did Be My Baby with an encore of Girls Just Wanna Have Fun and The Go Go's." he laughed looking down at her.

"OK, I was a lot drunk. But I was having so much fun. I love karaoke." she laughed leaning in to him.

"I'm glad you had a good weekend." he smiled at her.

"I had a great weekend. I was worried for nothing. Your family is great." she smiled up at him.

"And now you're gonna be one of them." he smiled picking up her left hand to admire her engagement ring.

"I love being around them. I especially loved seeing how you are with your family. You're so relax and fun." she laughed looking up at him.

"You seemed relaxed around them too. It's like you've been there forever."

"I... I plan on it." she smiled leaning up to kiss him. They decided to get up and start getting ready to meet Mark. They got to the cafe nearly an hour after talking to Mark on the phone. Mark was sitting at a table drinking coffee and eating a bagel with cream cheese.

"I take it things went well." he smiled as Roger and Jami took their seats across from him.

"You can say that." Jami smiled holding up her left hand to show off her engagement ring.

"Wow, you're... you're engaged. Congratulations." he stuttered looking at the ring.

"Well don't sound too excited bro." Roger sensed his apprehension.

"No... I am. It's just.... it's a bit quick, don't you think?" he asked looking over at him.

"Mark, you know that Roger doesn't have the luxury of time and I want to spend all the time I can with him. Is that wrong?" Jami argued looking over at Mark.

"Baby, it's OK. He's got a point. I mean, any other couple would probably be dating for 6 months before they even thought about marriage, but..." he started when Jami interrupted him.

"We're not any other couple Roger. We're us. I thought you'd be happy for us Mark, but I guess that was too much to ask." she got up from the chair.

"Where are you going?" Mark asked.

"I... I can't be here right now. I'm sorry that you're not happy for us Mark. I'm really disappointed in you." she said before leaving the cafe, clearly upset.

"Mark, what the hell is wrong with you? I would have thought my best man would be happy for me." Roger asked starting to get up.

"Now where are you going?" Mark looked over at his best friend.

"Going after my fiance. She's very upset right now and I don't think she should be alone." he said looking down at him.

"I... I'll talk you later. You should go to Jami. She... she needs you right now." he regretted his reaction to their engagement, but was too afraid to explain it.

"You're unbelievable Cohen." Roger blurted out before rushing out of the cafe towards Jami's apartment. When he caught up to her, she was leaning against her doorway, crying into her hands. "It's OK Baby." he whispered, sweeping her into his arms.

"No, it's not. How could he act like that? He's our friend. He helped us find each other, for gods sake. How could he act like that towards our engagement?" she asked crying into his strong chest.

"I'm sure he's thinking about when..." he started when she cut him off.

"Don't say it Roger." she said looking up at him.

"Yeah well, while we ignore it, Mark has to think about it. He's gonna be the one who not only has to lose his best friend, but watch his other best friend fall apart because she lost her husband. It's how Mark is. He's a realist. After what he's seen, he has to be." he explained taking her face in his hands.

"But why can't he be happy for us now? We're happy." she asked looking up at him.

"Maybe you should go back and ask him." he suggested looking down into her flooded blue eyes.

"I don't know if I want to talk to him right now." she said looking up at him.

"You have to talk to him eventually. He's filming your screenplay." he smiled down at her, lifting his hand up to caress the tears from her face.

"I guess I do, don't I?" she asked enjoying the feel of his hands on her face.

"Yep, you do. Give him a chance to explain James." he smiled leaning down to kiss her head.

"OK. I... I guess I owe him that much. He did introduce me to my future husband." she agreed sheepishly holding on to the back of his jacket.

"I love you. I don't regret asking you to marry me." he smiled down at her.

"And I don't regret saying yes." she smiled leaning up to kiss his soft lips.

"Come on. I'm sure he's still there." he wrapped his arm around her waist and walked with her back to the cafe. When they got there, Mark was sitting with his head in his hands. He felt someone sit with him and looked up.

"Jami Roger, I'm... I'm really sorry for the way I... It's just...." he started when Jami interrupted him.

"Mark, I... I understand your reaction. But we're OK, you know. I mean, I know it's easy for me to say that now, but I want to spend all the time with Roger I can and I want to be there to take care of him and be the woman he loves when he leaves this earth. I... I hope you understand that." she said looking over at him.

"I do Jami. It's just... I'm gonna lose him too and I don't know if I can take care of you and myself at the same time."

"Mark, not one of us here can say with any certainty how we're gonna be when that time comes. All I do know is that I don't want to be without him and he doesn't want to be without me. Can't you just be happy for us? We're getting married." she said looking over at him as Roger sat and listened intently to his fiance.

"You came in here this morning and told me this amazing news and I... I'm sorry I wasn't being fair to you, was I?" he asked looking over at her.

"It's OK. You're worried about me. I gotta say, I like that about you. You're a great friend Mark." he smiled looking over at him.

"And that's why you're my best man." Roger added holding Jami's hand.

"You didn't ask Chris?" he asked surprised.

"Are you kidding? He'd lose the rings and fuck up the toast. He'd do anything to get under my skin. I think I have more faith in you." he laughed breaking the ice.

"Good point." Mark smiled at them.

"So, we're good?" Roger asked looking over at him.

"I don't know. Does Jami forgive me?" he asked looking over at Jami.

"Of course I do. I can't stay mad at you for long." she smiled reaching over to take his hand.

"I'm happy for you. I really am. You deserve to be happy. And as long as this loser rock star keeps you happy, I'm happy." he smiled at her.

"He makes me extremely happy Mark. I promise." she smiled looking up at Roger.

"Good." he smiled looking over at them, seeing how happy they make each other. They continued their breakfast before Mark went to the loft and Roger and Jami went back to her apartment to unpack and get their laundry from the weekend done.

It was 3 o'clock and Jami was putting the laundry away while Roger was laying on the bed where he had fallen asleep. She smiled down at him as she started putting his clothes into her dresser drawers. Just as she was about to lay down next to him, the phone rang. It was the grocery store. They were shorthanded and wanted her to go in to cover. "Um... yeah, I... I guess so. How late would you need me?" she asked quietly sitting on the bed. "Til 9? Um... OK. I'll see you within the hour... OK bye." she whispered hanging up the phone. As she sat on the bed, a hand snaked it's way around her waist. "Hey." she smiled turning around to face him.

"Gotta go to work, huh?" he asked laying in her lap.

"Yep. I guess the weekend's really over." she smiled down as she played with his hair.

"I hate that you work late all the time." he said looking up at her.

"Roger, I need to work. There's..." she said as he interrupted her.

"How would you feel about moving into the loft with me and Mark? We're getting married anyway and you wouldn't have to work so much." he said sitting up on the bed.

"Oh yeah, I can see that being a great idea. You and me married, under the same roof as Mark." she laughed his suggestion off, as she got up from the bed.

"James, we get a great deal on rent and the bills are included. You could quit your job at the store and just concentrate on your screen writing." he looked over at her.

"I... I don't think it's such a good idea Roger." she looked down at him.

"Why not? The loft is bigger than your place and I hate that you have to work so much to pay the bills on this place." he said looking up at her.

"You're serious, aren't you?" she asked as a smiled crossed her lips.

"Um, yeah. I'm very serious. You and me living at the loft would give you and Mark plenty of time to work and since you don't need to work at the store all the time, you can devote more time to me." he smiled getting up from the bed to go to her.

"Oh, so that's what this is all about. You want me to spend more time with you. Um, did it ever occur to you that maybe it'll give me more time to spend with Mark too?" she smiled up at him as he wrapped his arms around her waist.

"Of course I thought about that. I just hate that you work so hard. You're always working at the store and when you get home, your back hurts and you're tired. I... I really wish you would quit that job and let me take care of you for a change." he smiled down at her.

"I don't need you to take care of me Roger. I am capable of taking care of myself. Been doing it for years." she looked up into his eyes.

"I... I didn't mean it like that James. I just meant..." he started before she interrupted him with a kiss to his lips.

"I know what you meant Roger, and I love you for it. I really do. It's just, I... I'm used to taking care of myself." she smiled up at him.

"But you don't have to. Baby, I know you hate working at that store. I know you wish you could concentrate more on your writing and if you move into the loft, you'll be able to do that. You'll be able to do what you really love." he looked down at her.

"I would like to quit the store and just work at the production company." she smiled thinking about it.

"And since we're gonna be married soon, you should live with me. Officially." he smiled lifting his hand to caress her face.

"How soon?" she asked looking up at him.

"Name a time and place and I'll be there Baby." he smiled down at her.

"How do you think Mark would feel about living with the two of us?" she asked looking up at him.

"I don't know. Why don't we ask him?" he asked looking down at her.

"I have an idea. Why don't you walk me to work and then you can go ask him yourself?" she laughed patting his chest.

"Oh sure, put it all on me. You know, he's more likely to say yes to you then he is to me. He likes you more." he laughed looking down at her.

"You're his best friend. He likes you." she laughed at him.

"But you've got those beautiful blue eyes that he can't say no to. My puppy dog eyes don't work on him anymore." he laughed.

"I have a feeling I'm gonna be in trouble with you two." she wrapped her arms around his neck.

"Maybe. But it'll be fun finding out." he smiled leaning down to kiss her soft, tender lips.

"Oh yeah, fun for you." she laughed looking up at him.


	18. Chapter 18

"You wanna move Jami in here with us?" Mark asked sitting on the window seat as Roger stood in the middle of the loft.

"Why not? We're gonna be getting married soon and from what I heard about the subject, when people get married, they move in together." he laughed looking over at him.

"You know that's not what I meant. I just thought you would be moving into Jami's apartment with her." he said looking over at him.

"Yeah well, I want her to be able to quit that damn job at the store and be able to concentrate on her writing." he shoved his hands into his pockets and looked down at the floor.

"Roger, it's OK that you want her to be able to do some more writing, but you guys are getting married. I would have thought you'd want to move out of here and be alone with her." he got up from the window seat.

"Yeah, but I can't have my girl working all the time at a job she hates to support us." he started pacing the loft.

"You have a job." Mark said looking over at him.

"I perform in a band Mark. A band who hasn't had any paying gigs yet." he turned back to face him.

"You're gonna have a paying gigs soon. You guys are auditioning for that new club on 8th. And you're gonna get it. I know it." he smiled over at him.

"Yeah, how do you know we're gonna get it? Matt's all over the map with his riffs and..." he asked looking over at him.

"Because you're the great Roger Davis. You were meant to be on that stage. And anyway, your fiance wants to see you up there. I don't see you disappointing her." he smiled at him.

"Yeah, my fiance. Can you believe I have one of them?" he asked looking over at him.

"Yeah, why not? You deserve to be happy. You both do." he smiled at him.

"Plus, this place is bigger than hers and... I... I don't know, we may need the room." he smiled down at his feet.

"James isn't..." he asked looking over at him.

"No. She's not. But... am I stupid to want her to be someday?" he asked looking over at his best friend.

"Roger, you know how risky it would be if she did get pregnant. I mean, your HIV and what about the kid? He's gonna have to grow up without his father." Mark looked over at him.

"You don't think I realize all that. I mean, we use.... you know, because of the HIV but it's not 100 percent for preventing pregnancy. I'm just saying that if it happened by accident, I... I wouldn't be freaked out." he went from defensive to optimistic.

"OK, but what about the other thing? Do you really want your kid to grow up without you?" he asked getting up from the window seat.

"I... I was kind of hoping my best friend would be able to step up. I mean, not as his father of course, just... just to make sure my kid knows where he came from and that I loved him and his mother more than anything." he said quietly, holding back his emotion.

"I... I'd be honored Rog. But you're putting the cart before the horse here. I mean, she's not even pregnant and you don't even know if she ever will be." Mark said.

"Yeah, I... I don't even know how she would feel about having a kid anyway. I know she doesn't want to have like a million kids, but... she'd make a great mom, wouldn't she?" he asked starting to smile.

"Yeah, she's a great mom to us." Mark laughed lightening the mood.

"She does have a way of putting me in line, doesn't she?" he smiled thinking about Jami.

"Anyone who can handle you, can handle anything a kid can throw at her." Mark laughed putting his hand on Roger's shoulder.

"I love her man. I love her more than I ever thought I would ever love anyone again. I mean, she... she gave me a do over. Not everyone gets a do over, but... I did." he looked up at him.

"She's an incredible woman Roger. I knew that before you did, but seeing you and her together is like seeing a side to both of you that I never knew existed. I'm... I'm pretty lucky to be a part of that." he smiled at him.

"We're the lucky one's Mark. You brought us together. We owe everything we have and everything we ever will have to you." Roger smiled as the men hugged as only best friends could.

"So I guess Jami's moving in with us." Mark smiled at him.

"Thanks Mark. I appreciate that." Roger smiled at him.

"Hey, who am I to stand in the way of true love?" Mark laughed looking over at him. He knew that living with Roger and Jami would be, at times, intolerable. But he loved his friends and agreed with Roger. Jami worked 2 jobs and worked really hard. She needed to spend time writing. He knew how talented she was and wanted her to be able to follow her dream. If living at the loft with them would give her the chance to do that, he was all for it. They were almost done filming her screenplay and he wanted to film more. She had the capability to become a great screen writer, but she needed time to do that.

5 and a half hours later, Jami exited the grocery store. She was exhausted and just wanted to get home and put her feet up. As she walked down the block, she thought about the events of the last few days. Meeting Roger's family, him proposing to her and the possibility of her moving into the loft with him and Mark. The prospect of being able to quit her job at the grocery store appealed to her, but she was apprehensive about leaving her apartment. She had paid for that apartment on her own and supported herself. Now she was entertaining the notion of moving in with her fiance and their best friend. As she reached her building, she opened the door and walked up the steps to her apartment, she thought about just sitting on the couch with a glass of wine and relaxing. She hoped Roger would be there, but knew that it was unlikely. He had an audition later in the week and knew that they needed the time to practice. He downplayed it, but he was excited about getting a gig and playing for an audience again. Playing for Jami

When she opened the door, there were candles lit everywhere, but Roger was no where to be found. She closed the door quietly and set her pocket book by the door, before taking her jacket off. She looked around, wondering what was going on. "Roger." she called out going towards the bedroom.

"Hang on. I'm... I'm coming." he called out from the bathroom as she continued looking around curiously.

"What's... what's going on?" she asked seeing a bottle of champagne sitting on the counter and a couple of glasses next to it.

"Just sit on the couch. I'll... I'll be out in a minute." he called out as she sat on the couch. She sat obediently on the couch and waited for her fiance to come out and clear up the mystery that was unfolding around her. When the door opened she turned around. She could see him through the beads separating her bedroom from the living room and saw him. He was clean shaved, had gotten a hair cut and was dressed in what he was wearing on their first official date. The dark purple button down shirt, his black blazer and dress pants. He looked even more amazing than he did that night.

"Um... yes." she sighed staring up at her handsome fiance.

"Yes what?" he laughed walking towards her.

"To whatever you want. Yes. Yes to everything." she smiled at him.

"Hmm, you better be careful, I just might use this to my advantage." he warned before getting the champagne and glasses and sitting next to her on the couch.

"You know, I already agreed to marry you and move into the loft with you and Mark. You can stop trying to dazzle me now." she laughed staring up at him.

"I will never stop dazzling you. You always did deserve magical things." he smiled opening the champagne bottle and pouring it into the glasses.

"Be careful Mr. Davis. I just might get used to magical things happening when I'm with you." she smiled taking the glass from him.

"Good. You deserve it." he smiled clinking glasses with her before taking a sip of the champagne.

"So, I take it Mark agreed to me moving into the loft with you two." she smiled sipping her champagne.

"Yeah, he was happy to be able to work with you all the time." he smiled down at her.

"So, what's this all about?" she smiled looking over at him.

"I... I was at the loft and I got to thinking about stuff." he smiled setting his champagne glass down.

"Stuff, huh? What kind of stuff?" she asked curiously.

"Um.. have you ever thought about having kids? With me?" he asked nervously.

"Not a lot. Just... everyday we've been together." she smiled up at him.

"Really? But I thought..." he started when she interrupted him.

"I know I said that I didn't want to have some guys kids, but I want to have yours. Not a lot of kids. Just... just enough to have a piece of you when you're gone." she said looking down at her champagne glass.

"James... I..." he reached over to take her hand.

"I just want a piece of you with me, so I... I know this all wasn't just some wonderful dream." she looked up at him with tears stinging her eyes.

"Well, if this is all a dream, don't anyone dare wake me up." he whispered leaning in to her.

"Me neither." she could barely get the words out, when she started crying. He took her champagne glass out of her hand, setting it on the coffee table before collecting her into his arms.

"I love you so much James. I always will. I don't want you to ever forget that." he whispered holding her head to his chest.

"I could never forget anything about you Roger. Your love has given me so much already, and this is just the beginning." she looked up into his green eyes.

"You better believe it's just the beginning. I don't plan on leaving you any time soon. And if I have my way, we'll be so old that you'll be begging me to leave." he laughed trying to lighten the mood.

"Never ever." she whispered leaning up to kiss him. "Um... I was thinking that I could take this coming weekend off and go visit my family. We could tell them that we're getting married and we can start packing on Monday night." she suggested wiping the tears from her eyes.

"Won't you have to work on Monday night?" he asked looking down at her.

"Not since my last shift is Thursday night." she smiled up at him.

"You... you quit your job?" he asked smiling down at her.

"Yeah, I did. I... I told them that I'm getting married and I need the time to plan my wedding and be with my husband to be." she smiled up at him.

"Um... we still haven't talked about a date." he stuttered looking down at her.

"Well, I've been thinking about that..." she looked up at him.

"When did you have time to do that?" he asked looking down at her.

"I stand at a register all day, Roger. I have a lot of time to think." she laughed looking up at him.

"What else do you think about?" he asked laying back on the couch, bringing her with him.

"I get a lot of writing ideas while I'm standing there. I... I kind of first got the idea to write about you when I saw you in the store. You were picking up cereal and ramen. You went to Rosemary. I... I tried so hard not to look at you." she smiled leaning on his chest.

"I tried not to look at you too. I... I wanted to go to you, but I was afraid I'd drop my money and come off as a total dork." he laughed looking down at her.

"I'm glad you didn't come to me. It would have been impossible for me to think. I probably would have given you too much money back and dropped your change on the floor." she laughed looking up at him.

"And now look at us." he leaned down to kiss her head.

"Yeah, we're getting married. But you still make it impossible for me to think sometimes." she propped her chin up on his chest.

"I'm never gonna get sick of this." he laughed looking down at her.

"Of what?" she asked confused.

"Holding you in my arms like this." he caressed her long blond hair.

"Good thing you're marrying me, huh?" she laughed looking up at him.

"Very good thing. I get to do this for the rest of my life." he smiled, leaning down to kiss her again, before leaning his head back to enjoy the peaceful glow of the candles. "So, what were you thinking about the wedding?"

"Well, I was thinking that we could get married in Jersey." she smiled up at him.

"You don't want to get married closer to your family?" he asked looking down at her.

"No, I don't. I... I wanted to ask Heather to be my maid of honor." she looked up at him.

"You don't want to ask anyone in your family?" he was surprised.

"I'm not close to anyone in my family. I have all boy cousins in my family and I don't know any of my brother's wives enough to ask them to stand up for me. I'm closer to Heather than I've ever been to anyone." she caressed his chest with her full palm.

"I think she would really like that. She really likes you. But you do realize that my mom is gonna be crazy planning this wedding." he laughed looking down at her.

"That's OK. I have a soft spot for the craziness of the Davis family." she laughed leaning up to kiss him.

"So when's the big day?" he asked looking down at her.

"I was thinking next spring." she smiled up at him.

"Perfect." he smiled kissing her forehead as they lay in one another's arms.


	19. Chapter 19

"You're sure you want to do this?" Jami asked as they waited for the Metro train to go upstate.

"I'm positive James. I want to meet your family. They're gonna be my family too, right? And besides, this is gonna be the last weekend we'll be able to do something." he smiled down at her.

"Yeah, I... I guess you're right. I mean, they... they do want to meet you. Plus, you'll be performing every weekend now. Just... promise me you'll take anything they say with a grain of salt, OK? They can be really harsh sometimes. Especially when it comes to me. They... they never believed in me or what I was doing here" she said looking up at him.

"I'll be fine Baby. I promise." he smiled sitting on the bench as they train pulled into the station.

"I... I know you will be. You're... you're gonna be great. It's me who's a mess." she buried her head in his strong chest wrapping her arms around him.

"You're not gonna be a mess. You'll be great. They're your family." he chuckled playing with her hair.

"That's easy for you to say. You're family is cool. I'm closer to your family after one weekend than I've ever been to my own."

"Don't worry. This is gonna be a great weekend." he smiled kissing her head before getting on the train. The train ride was long. Jami kept staring up at Roger who was smiling as he watched out the window. "What?"

"You look so relaxed for a guy who's about to meet his fiance's family." she observed looking up at him.

"I am relaxed." he smiled looking down into her blue eyes.

"You know, there are no girls in my family. Your charm isn't gonna get you very far with my 5 brothers." she laughed looking into his green eyes.

"I can handle them James. They just want what's best for you. Just like I do." he lifted his hand to caress her face.

"Ugh, you are an impossible man sometimes." she laughed looking up at him.

"That's what they tell me." he laughed kissing her head as the train continued it's journey.

It was dark when the train pulled into the station. Jami's brother Aidan was waiting for them on the platform. His greeting was a bit tamer than Chris' greeting to Roger. "Hello James. How... how was your trip?" he asked looking over at her.

"It... it was nice. Um... Aidan, I want you to meet my boyfriend Roger Davis. Roger, this is my older brother Aidan." she stuttered nervously as he looked up at Roger for comfort.

"Hey Aidan. It's really nice to meet you. James has told me a lot about you." Roger smiled broadly before taking a hold of Aidan's hand and giving it a firm shake.

"It's nice to meet you too Roger. My... my mom is waiting for us at the house, so we better get going." he said leading Roger and Jami to his minivan. Roger voluntarily got in the back as Jami sat in the front. She was very uncomfortable sitting with her brother. "So Roger, my mother tells me that you're a musician. What do you do?" Aidan asked as he drove towards Mrs. Barnett's house.

"I'm the lead singer of a band. I write my own songs and play guitar too." he said looking over at him.

"That sounds cool. Are you guys famous or something?" he asked looking in the rear view mirror.

"Not yet. We play in a club in the city for now." he smiled over at him.

"Roger's really good. You should really come into the city and hear him one night." Jami smiled back at Roger.

"I'd like to." Aidan smiled at them as he continued to drive to his mother's house. "Congratulations by the way." he smiled looking down at her left hand.

"Oh, right. Um Aidan can... can you not tell mama? I... I kind of want to tell her myself." she stuttered looking over at him.

"She'll be happy, you know. She worries about you in the city alone." he said.

"I know she does, but I can take care of myself." she said looking over at him.

"Yeah, we know James. You've been taking care of yourself your whole life. It always made papa proud." Aidan told her as they sat at a traffic light.

"Aidan, papa hated that I took care of myself. He... he wanted me to marry someone who could take care of me." she looked over at him surprised.

"That's just what he conveyed to you. Papa used to tell everyone about his talented, independent daughter who was going to school in the city." he smiled over at his sister.

"I... I never knew that." she stammered before looking back at Roger who was smiling at her.

"Here we are. Are you guys ready?" Aidan smiled looking over at his sister before looking back at Roger.

"I don't know. How crazy is it in there?" Jami asked looking over at her brother.

"Pretty crazy. Mama summoned everyone to show up or suffer her wrath." he laughed looking over at her.

"Oh great. Are you sure you're ready for this?" she asked looking back at Roger.

"I'll be fine James. I'm looking forward to it actually." he laughed as he opened the back door.

"Oh um... I don't want to tell mama right away about our engagement. So just hold my left hand, OK?" she said looking up at Roger.

"It'll be OK James. Whatever you want me to do, I'll do." he smiled leaning down to kiss her head as they slowly approached the house. As they entered the house, the butterflies grew in Jami's stomach. She gripped Roger's hand tighter for comfort.

"James Frances, you look so beautiful." Mrs. Barnett called out rushing to her daughter.

"Hi mama." she smiled hugging her mother.

"Let me look at you." she smiled as she pulled back to look at her daughter. "You look good. Blissfully happy." she observed looking up at Roger.

"I am mama. Um I... I'd like you to meet Roger Davis. Roger, this is my mama." she smiled looking up at Roger to steady her nerves.

"Hi Mrs. Barnett. It's nice to finally meet you." he smiled looking down at Jami's mother.

"It's nice to meet you too Roger. My daughter has been so mysterious about you. I was beginning to wonder if you really existed." she laughed looking up at him.

"Mama, I... I wasn't comfortable telling you about him on the phone." Jami explained quietly.

"I understand sweetie." Mrs. Barnett smiled at her as the others began crowding around them.

"Jami, you look amazing." Jess smiled going over to greet Jami.

"Hi Jess. You look good too. Wow. It's... it's been a while since I've been home, huh?" she smiled over at her nephews.

"Yeah, they all got so big, didn't they?" Jess laughed looking over at the mess of boys who were playing in the play room, which used to be Jami's father's study.

"Yeah, they did. I... I really should come home more. I'm missing so much of their lives." she looked over at them regretfully.

"Come. I made food." Mrs. Barnett announced taking Jami's hand. Roger had let go of her left hand, so Mrs. Barnett felt the engagement ring as she held her daughter's hand. "Help me in the kitchen James."

"I'll... I'll be right back." Jami said looking up at Roger, realizing that her mother had felt her engagement ring.

"I'll be here." he laughed as he stood by Aidan, who was preparing to introduce him to the rest of the clan.

"James, is there something you need to tell me?" she asked looking over at her daughter.

"I'm... I'm engaged mama. Roger... Roger proposed to me last weekend." she spoke quietly as they entered the kitchen.

"Well that's wonderful darling. Why would you keep that from me?" she asked looking over at her.

"Roger... Roger and I live together in the city, mama and I know how you feel about that. I... I was afraid that you wouldn't approve." she explained looking over at her mother.

"I thought you had your own apartment in the city?" she asked looking over at her daughter.

"I do, but I'm giving it up to move in with Roger and our friend Mark." she said after taking a deep breath for courage.

"I'm not gonna tell you that I'm happy about this James. Because you know I'm not. You shouldn't be moving in with this man before you get married." Mrs. Barnett said walking away from her daughter to go to the stove, where she was cooking something.

"Mama, I'm 26 years old and I love Roger. We're getting married. Why can't you just be happy for me?" she asked looking over at her.

"I am happy for you. James, I just want you to think about what you're doing. What if you get pregnant before you get married? Is that something you want?" she asked looking over at her.

"I'm not gonna get pregnant before I get married mama." she told her sitting at the kitchen table.

"How do you know?" she asked looking over at her daughter.

"Because we're using.... protection." she explained quietly.

"Protection like birth control?" she asked looking over at her.

"Yes mama. Can... can we drop this now." she asked looking over at her.

"James, you know that's against everything we raised you to believe." Mrs. Barnett said looking over at her.

"I know that, but times are different. Things are different." she said looking over at her.

"I'm sorry. You're right. I have never been with anyone other than your father and I..." she started when Jamie interrupted her.

"Mama, I... I don't think we should be discussing this." Jami told her uncomfortably.

"I'm not a stuffy old woman James Frances. I am capable of having a serious conversation with my daughter about sex." she explained walking over to her daughter.

"I... I never thought you were a stuffy old woman mama. I just know how old fashioned you are." she smirked over at her mother.

"It was how I was brought up Jami. Just like it was how you were brought up. But you have opportunities I never had. Going... going to college and moving out on my own wasn't something I thought I was able to do." she said looking over at her.

"And having premarital sex is a sin." Jami added looking over at her mother.

"James Frances, you're 26 years old. I'm not naïve old woman who thinks that her daughter has held on to her virtue for this long."

"Mama." she called out trying not to laugh.

"That man really, truly loves you, doesn't he?" she asked looking over at her daughter.

"Very much mama." she smiled looking down at the table.

"He's very handsome." she smiled at her.

"He's more than that mama. He's a good man. You should really get to know him. He's funny and he's sweet. He makes me feel like the most special woman on earth." she smiled at her mother.

"You are special James. He's a very lucky man. I hope he knows that." she smiled at her.

"He does mama. Trust me." she smiled hugging her mother before the women got up and re entered the living room. Roger was playing with Jami's nephew in the play room. Everyone else looked on happily.

"I do trust you James." Mrs. Barnett smiled watching Roger interact with her grandsons.

About 10 o'clock, everyone was packed up and ready to head home. Leaving Roger, Jami and Mrs. Barnett alone. They were sitting on the couch, drinking wine and talking. Roger was telling Mrs. Barnett about his family and the previous weekend. "Your family sounds wonderful. I'm glad they're so close." Mrs. Barnett smiled looking over at her future son in law.

"Yeah, well my dad died when I was a teenager, so Chris had to step up as the man of the house. He was 17. I... I didn't make it easy on him at times." Roger spoke quietly looking over at her.

"I'm sorry to hear that. I guess you and James have a lot in common in that respect. Losing your father's so young." she observed as Jami looked up at Roger.

"Yeah, we're each other's rocks." Roger smiled down at her before reaching over to take her hand.

"Have you two set a date for the wedding yet?" Mrs. Barnett asked smiling at them.

"I was thinking some time in the spring. I... I want to get married in New Jersey." Jami said looking at her mother.

"New Jersey in the spring, huh? Sounds nice." she smiled at her daughter.

"I'm sorry mama. It's just... Mrs. Davis already volunteered to let us have the reception at her house and it's bigger and can hold more people. Plus their yard is huge." she stuttered looking at her mother.

"It's OK sweetie. After helping the girls plan all of their weddings, I'll be happy to just attend a wonderful wedding, joining my daughter and son in law in holy matrimony." she smiled over at them.

"Thank you for being so understanding mama." she smiled at her mother who enjoyed seeing Roger and Jami together.

"Well, on that note, I'm gonna head off to bed. I was up early this morning and we have a big day tomorrow." Mrs. Barnett smiled starting to get up from her chair.

"Um... mama. Where are we sleeping?" she asked looking over at her.

"Your old room. I... I was gonna have you sleep in your room and Roger sleep in Aidan and Tommy's old room, but since you're living together and about to be married, I don't see any reason why you shouldn't be able to sleep together." she smirked looking over at them.

"Mrs. Barnett, if it makes you uncomfortable, we'll respect your rules." Roger smiled up at her as Jami looked up at him.

"I appreciate that Roger, but it's unnecessary. I'm not an inflexible old woman. I can be hip." she smiled going into the kitchen to wash her wine glass before disappearing upstairs to her bedroom.

"I thought you said your mother was old fashioned?" Roger asked looking down at Jami.

"She... she used to be. I... I guess she grew up and decided to join the real world." she chuckled looking up at him.

"I guess so." Roger smiled sitting back as he wrapped his arms around Jami and brought her to him. "I love you James." he smiled looking down at her.

"I love you too Roger. Thank you." she smiled up at him.

"What did I do?" he asked surprised.

"For being so great with my family. Everyone loves you, you know?" she asked looking up at him.

"Well, I'm gonna be one of them soon." he laughed looking down at her.

"Yeah, you... you are." she stuttered leaning into his chest.

"What's wrong?" he asked shifting to look down at her.

"I... I didn't tell mama about your HIV. I mean, we talked about us using... but she thought it was because we don't want to get pregnant yet." she told him quietly.

"Do you think telling her the truth would make her look at me differently?" he asked.

"I... I don't know. I mean, It's not something I've thought about. I... I think I think more about us not having kids than the HIV." she told him quietly holding back her tears.

"It could happen, you know? I mean, by accident, it could happen." he lifted his hand to caress her face.

"I know. I'm just happy for all the time I have with you." she smiled faintly looking up into his eyes before leaning in to kiss him gently. Shortly after that they retired to Jami's old room and went to bed. Holding one another tight.


	20. Chapter 20

The next morning they were woken up by a loud knock on the door. "James, Roger breakfast." Michelle called out from the other side of the door.

"Go away Michelle." Jami called out burying her face into Roger's chest.

"We're coming." Roger yelled soothing Jami's hair.

"Are you insane? They're all here." she asked looking up at him.

"Breakfast at the Barnett's. I wonder if it's as crazy as at the Davis house." he laughed looking down at her.

"Ugh, you're nuts." she smiled up at him.

"Just about you." he smiled kissing her head before getting out of bed.

"You know, I liked it better when you were incoherent before your first sip of coffee." she laughed leaning up on her elbow.

"I guess I'm growing up, huh?" he laughed putting his t-shirt on.

"Perish the thought." she laughed getting out of bed.

"I'm gonna be a husband. It's about time I grow up." he told her casually.

"Roger, I love you for who you are. You don't have to grow up just because we're getting married." she said looking up at him.

"James, I love you so much." he smiled leaning over the bed to kiss her. "I just want to be the best man I can for you."

"You already are." she smiled up at him. They got up and left the room to make their way down the stairs towards the kitchen. It was noisy already. The kids were jumping around and playing already. "Don't these kids ever take a break?" she asked looking up at him.

"They're kids James. They have a lot of energy." he laughed holding her hand.

"I hope our kids aren't gonna be that loud and active." she laughed as TJ ran towards Roger.

"I hope they are." he smiled looking down at the 5 year old.

"Roger, play with us. We're playing army men." he called out taking Roger's hand.

"I'm coming little man." he laughed letting go of Jami's hand to join the boys in the play room.

"Have fun and play fair Roger." Jami teased as Roger smiled back at her before getting down on the floor with the boys.

"He's really good with them." Lisa smiled over at Jami as she walked through the living room.

"Yeah, it helps that he's still a kid himself." she laughed watching Roger play and laugh with her nephews.

"You did good James. He's a real catch." Julie smiled at her.

"He's a good man. We... we take care of each other in the city." she smiled watching him as Lisa's son Jimmy jumped on Roger's back.

"He's gonna make a great father." Lisa smiled at her.

"Yeah, he really is." Jami smiled quietly at her before going into the kitchen to help her mother with breakfast.

"Nice to see you're finally up. I almost forgot how late you could sleep." Mrs. Barnett smiled looking up at her daughter.

"Good morning mama." she laughed looking at the spread her mother had made.

"Where's your fiance? Not still in bed, I hope." she asked looking up at her.

"No, he's in the playroom with the kids." she laughed beginning to pour herself and Roger some coffee.

"He likes playing with them kids, doesn't he?" she smiled at her.

"Yeah, but he's a big kid himself, so I think it's just an excuse to play with toys." she laughed lifting the coffee mug to her lips for a sip.

"There's nothing wrong with that. Have you two talked about having kids?" Mrs. Barnett asked taking bacon out of the huge pan they were cooking in.

"Yes mama, we have, but it's complicated. With our careers, we... we have things we want to accomplish first." she lied looking over at her mother.

"Couples have careers and children all the time. You're 26 years old James. You don't want to be old when you have your kids, do you?" Mrs. Barnett asked leaning on the counter.

"I'm... I'm gonna go give Roger his coffee. The boys are gonna wear him out and he's gonna need a nap before noon if he doesn't have his coffee" she turned, ignoring her mother's pleas.

"OK dear." she conceded going back to cooking breakfast. Jami felt bad about dismissing her mother like that, but she didn't want to tell her the real reason why children were unlikely for her and Roger. Roger spotted her coming out of the kitchen carrying 2 cups of coffee. He broke free of the mess of boys and rushed towards her smiling.

"You are a life saver." he laughed taking the cup of coffee and began sipping it urgently.

"You're... you're gonna need a nap if you keep letting those boys run you ragged." she laughed looking up at him.

"I like playing with them. It's good practice." he smiled kissing her head.

"Roger." she whined softly.

"I'm sorry Baby. I shouldn't have said that." he said looking down at her.

"Between you and my mom, I swear I don't know who's worse." she glared up at him before going towards the stairs to go back up to the bedroom. Roger slowly began following her, trying not to disturb the rest of the clan. Everyone seemed to be in their own worlds. Her brothers were talking and their wives were trying not to be concerned about Jami's change in behavior.

"James, what did I do?" he asked quietly as they climbed the stairs.

"Nothing, you... you didn't do anything. I'm just being a stupid girl. See what my family does to me?" she said turning to look at him.

"You are far from a stupid girl Jami. What's this all about?" he asked stopping a step below her.

"My mom, you... I mean, she was saying in the kitchen that you'd make a great father and with the way you are with the boys, you would be. I... I just can't tell her why it's not likely something you'll be able to do." she said trying not to cry.

"Jami, I'm... I'm sorry. I... I didn't know that your mom's been saying that stuff." he apologized looking up at her.

"You have nothing to be sorry about Roger. You are great with them. And you would be a wonderful father. Any child would be lucky to have you. But... I don't know, I guess I'm just letting it get to me." she said sitting on the top step, setting her coffee mug next to her.

"It's OK to let it get to you Baby. But it's not impossible, you know? It could still happen." he said kneeling on the step below her.

"I know. I just don't want to count on an accident that may never happen." she said looking over at him.

"I still have faith that it will happen." he smiled looking up at her.

"You're not much of a realist, are you?" she asked looking down at her.

"Nope." he said looking up at her, lifting her hand to his lips and kissing it.

"If it happens, it happens. Otherwise, there's nothing we can do, right?" she said looking down at him.

"I agree, but all I'm saying is that if it happened, I'd be the happiest man on earth." he smiled up at her.

"We... we better get back downstairs. Everyone's gonna wonder what's going on." she said staring to get up.

"Everything's gonna be OK Jami. You have to believe that." he said looking up at her.

"I do believe that Roger. I believe in you." she smiled at him.

"I believe in us." he smiled stepping up to kiss her cheek.

"Me too." she smiled before going down the stairs to eat breakfast.

"Is everything OK James?" Aidan asked as Jami passed him.

"Yeah, everything's fine Aidan. Thanks for worrying." she smiled looking up at her older brother.

"Baby, do you want some waffles?" Roger smiled at Jami.

"Yes please. Thank you Baby." she smiled at him as he piled food onto a plate for her.

"Had I known the wonderful men they were hiding in the city, I would have tagged along with you all those years ago." Cindy smiled leaning over to whisper in Jami's ear.

"Watch it Cindy. You are married to my brother." Jami laughed looking up at her.

"I know, and I love my life, it's just... Roger's a great guy Jami. I'm very happy for you." she smiled as TJ pushed past the two ladies to sit with Roger.

"Your son seems to think so too." Jami laughed watching Roger help TJ load up a plate with Mickey Mouse waffles.

"Yeah, he doesn't usually take to people this quickly. I guess that means Roger's meant to be here." Cindy smiled before walking away to help her son with his food.

"I guess he is." Jami thought to herself watching her fiance and her family.

"So are you James. We all missed you very much." she smiled at her sister in law.

"I know. I... I guess I've been so busy trying to build my own life that I forgot about everyone here." she looked over at her.

"Jami, we're all very proud of you. Everything you've accomplished in the city. If there's anything you need to talk to, we're all here. We'll listen with no judgment. We're your family." she told her quietly.

"I know Cindy, thank you. But it's not what you think. Really. I promise." she smiled up at her.

"We love you Jami. We just worry about you." she said looking down at her.

"I'll tell you about it later, OK? I... I promise." she whispered watching her fiance help TJ cut his waffles.

"I'll be there to listen whenever you're ready." she smiled down at her.

"Thanks Cindy."

Later that day, Roger was out in the driveway of the Barnett house playing basketball with Jami's brothers as the kids played on the swing set on the side of the house. Roger was paired with Aidan and Tommy against Stephan, Jack and Alex. "Roger's really good at this Jami." Michelle smiled at her.

"Yeah, color me surprised." Jami laughed watching her fiance and her brothers as she sipped a glass of lemonade.

"You didn't know he could play basketball?" Julie asked looking over at her.

"No, I didn't. He... he doesn't play much basketball in the city. Mark's not exactly the basketball type and he's been so busy with his band and stuff. He never has time to just relax like this. It's fun watching him play." she smiled staring at Roger, who was shirtless running around the driveway with Jami's brothers.

"He don't look too bad either." Lisa muttered watching Roger run around the court.

"Lisa, that's my fiance you're talking about." Jami laughed looking over at her.

"Yeah, and he's gonna be my brother in law soon. It'll be nice to have that nice looking man in the family pictures." she laughed looking over at Jami, who was embarrassed.

"Face it James. He's more than nice looking." Jess smiled putting her arm around Jami's shoulder.

"Yeah, my hunky rock star." Jami laughed looking over at him as he leaned on his knees smiling at Jami as he caught his breath.

"Rock star, huh?" Cindy asked looking over at her.

"Yeah, he's... he's very talented. He plays guitar, sings and writes his own songs. He's amazing. His first show is next week." she smiled at her.

"I'm sure he'll be great James. With you in the front row cheering him on, how could he go not be?" Mrs. Barnett smiled as she passed the ladies to check on the boys.

"I guess mama likes him, huh?" Jami smiled looking at her sisters in law.

"Mama loves him Jami. He makes you happy. That's all she and papa ever wanted for you." Michelle smiled caressing her pregnant belly.

"He makes me very happy. I promise." Jami smiled as the boys still played basketball. Roger and the other guys, decided to take a rest. They were standing in the middle of the driveway laughing. Roger was chugging water desperately from his water bottle. He swept his sweaty hair back as he glanced over at Jami and winked before paying closer attention to the conversation.

"What was this morning about James?" Cindy asked quietly looking over at her.

"Can you keep a secret?" she asked leaning over to her.

"Of course Jami. You can tell me anything. I won't tell a soul. Not even your brother."

"Mama was hassling me about how great Roger is with the kids and asked if we're gonna have kids of our own and... Roger made a comment right after that and I... I couldn't handle it." she explained looking over at her.

"What do you mean? Doesn't Roger want kids when you get married?" she asked looking over at her.

"That's the problem. He does, but... he's..." she stuttered looking over at her.

"Just spit it out Jami. I told you, no judgments." she reached over to take her hand.

"Roger's HIV positive. He got it from shooting heroin with his ex girlfriend and we have to use protection. That makes it a little hard to guarantee getting pregnant when we want to." she whispered leaning closer to her.

"But Roger wants kids too, doesn't he?" she asked her.

"Yeah, that's the problem. He wants us to count on an accident. Like an accident is gonna happen so easily. It's not. I... don't want to hope for something that might never happen. At least not something that means so much to us." she said looking up at her, holding back tears.

"I... I understand sweetie. You want a piece of Roger to hold on to when he's gone."

"Exactly. I... I guess I was feeling a little overwhelmed this morning. I mean, Roger playing so good with the boys and then mama starting with me in the kitchen and Roger's innocent remark. It got to me."

"It'll be OK Jami. Whether you have a child or not, you'll have a piece of Roger's love to hold on to. He'll always be with you. We can all tell how much he loves you. A love like yours won't die when he does." she smiled at her reassuringly.

"Thanks Cindy. I... I really appreciate you being here for me. I know we've never been close and I'm sorry for that. That's my fault. I never felt like I belonged here, you know?" she looked up at her.

"Well you do. Never forget that." she put her arm around Jami's shoulder. "And it appears that Roger does too."

"Yeah, he seems to have us all under his spell, doesn't he?" she smiled looking over at Roger and her brothers laughing and running after one another playfully.


	21. Chapter 21

The next morning, Roger got up early, so he ventured downstairs. Mrs. Barnett was sitting at the kitchen table drinking coffee, looking through a photo album. She felt his presence and turned around. "Good morning Roger. I didn't expect you up so early." she smiled up at him.

"Yeah, I... I couldn't sleep. I didn't mean to disturb you." he stuttered looking over at the woman who was about to become his mother in law.

"It's OK. I was just thinking about when James was little." she smiled pulling the chair next to hers out inviting him to join her.

"Are those pictures of her?" he asked walking over to the kitchen table.

"Yeah, she was a shy little girl. She was never really happy. I'm afraid Stephan and I didn't appreciate her for who she was." she told him regretfully showing him the photo album.

"She was so pretty when she was little." he smiled down at the photographs.

"Yeah, she was. But we didn't know anything about raising a daughter. We... we were used to boys. We dressed her jeans and t-shirts all the time. Stephan didn't want her dressed in pink, frilly dresses. He didn't want her to be singled out. I'm afraid I wasn't a good mother to her back then." she said looking over at him.

"She's a great woman Mrs. Barnett. I... I love her very much." he smiled looking over at her.

"I see that Roger. You take care of her." she smiled up at him.

"We take care of each other Mrs. Barnett. She's very capable of taking care of herself. She's been doing it for years." he pointed out looking over at her.

"I know. I... I'm very proud of my daughter for all she's accomplished." she said looking back down at the pictures of Jami when she was younger.

"She gave me a second chance." he smiled quietly as Mrs. Barnett looked up at him.

"Is everything alright Roger?" she asked looking over at him.

"Yeah, everything's fine." he was evasive.

"You and James have been acting strange. Is... is there something I should know about your situation that I don't already know?" she asked looking over at him.

"Things are fine Mrs. Barnett. I love Jami more than anything and she loves me. We're each other's lives." he told her simply.

"You're wonderful with my grandsons, and when I mentioned it to James, she got very uncomfortable about the subject." she said looking over at him.

"It's complicated." he said getting up from the table.

"Don't you want children Roger?" she asked bluntly.

"Of course I do Mrs. Barnett. It's... it's just complicated." he stuttered looking over at her.

"What is it Roger? You'd make a wonderful father and I know Jami would be a great mother, if that's what you're worried about. You shouldn't let your careers..."

"I'm HIV positive." he blurted out looking over at her.

"You're... um... how?" she asked looking over at him.

"Stupid mistakes when I was younger. James knows about it. She's known since before we started dating." he confessed looking over at her.

"Is... is that why she's not sure that you'll ever have...?" she asked looking over at him.

"Yeah, I'm... I'm sorry. But I would never harm Jami in any way. You have to know that. I would never risk her life for anything in the world. We always use... protection for the HIV but it's not 100 percent for preventing pregnancy, so if we ever had kids, it would have to be an accident. Not... not that I would mind. I want to be the father of Jami's kids." he spoke quietly.

"I... I guess you just hope for an accident, huh?" she asked looking over at him.

"Yeah, I guess so." he smirked over at her. "I love Jami very much Mrs. Barnett. I really do." he looked over at her.

"Don't worry Roger. Everybody can see that. Jami's happiness means everything to me and her brothers." she looked up at him from the table.

"I make her happy ma'am. I know I do. And she's made me the luckiest man on the planet by agreeing to marry me. I'm not gonna do anything that will hurt her. Ever." he insisted looking over at her.

"You better not Roger. Because despite everything my daughter has told me about you, I will be keeping my eye on you. And the boys in this family will always protect her." she said getting up from the table.

"Gotcha Mrs. Barnett. I'm on warning." he smiled over at her before going over to get himself a cup of coffee. "I'm gonna go bring a cup of coffee up to James."

"OK." she smiled as Roger made Jami's coffee and started up the stairs towards her room. As he opened the door, Jami was sitting up on the bed. He could tell she was upset.

"You're up? I didn't expect you to be up yet." he looked over at her as he handed her the coffee mug.

"How could you tell my mother you're positive? I thought we weren't going to." she looked up at him, tears stained her face.

"I'm sorry James. I didn't set out to tell her, it just came out. I mean, we were..." he started as she set the coffee mug on the night table.

"Talking about us having kids. I know. I heard. All of it. But I thought we agreed that no good could come out of telling her." she asked getting out of the bed.

"James, I thought she had a right to know. You're her daughter. I wanted her to know that you're safe with me." he said looking up at her.

"And that if we get pregnant, it'll be an accident." she said leaning on the dresser, not facing him.

"A wonderful accident, but yeah. James, it's an accident we both want to happen." he got up from the bed to go to her.

"Mama didn't hear that part. All she heard was that you're HIV positive and you need to be watched so you don't hurt me. Like we're stupid, irresponsible kids." she cried looking up at him.

"You're not a stupid, irresponsible kid James. You're a smart, independent woman, who despite the fact that I'm positive, you love me anyway." he lifted his hand to her face.

"Neither are you, you know? You would never hurt me." she said looking over at him.

"I wouldn't James. I would never hurt you for anything in the world." he whispered holding her to him.

"Mama took it well, didn't she?" she asked looking up at him.

"She just wants to see you happy James and she sees how happy I make you." he smiled down at her.

"You definitely make me happy Roger." she smiled holding him in her arms. They spent the rest of the day alone at the Barnett house with Mrs. Barnett talking about Roger's family, the wedding and living in the city. Mrs. Barnett was very eager to hear about Jami's film and Mark.

After a long, exhausting weekend at the Barnett house, Roger and Jami returned home to Jami's apartment. She wasn't moving until the next day, so they decided to enjoy one last night alone together in the apartment. It was nearly 9 when they got back to the apartment. "Should we call Mark?" Roger asked putting their bags down by the door.

"Yeah, we better. Do you remember how he was last week?" she smiled up at him.

"Good point. What was with that anyway? He was so possessive." he said looking down at her.

"He just missed us. We were away all weekend and didn't have time to call him. I meant to call him this weekend, so he wouldn't worry, but..." she looked up at him.

"The craziness kind of made it impossible." he laughed looking down at her.

"Yeah, you can say that." she laughed as she made her way to the phone.

"I don't know, I like your family. TJ was attached to me all weekend." he laughed.

"Yeah, he's a good kid. It's just hard for him being an only child. Even with all those cousins so close to his age." she told him as she dialed the phone. She stood waiting for someone to answer while Roger went into the bedroom to lay on the bed.

"Hello." a strange voice answered.

"Um... hello. Do I have the wrong number? I was looking for Mark Cohen." she said confused by the strange voice.

"No, you have the right number. Mark's right here. Whom can I say is calling?"

"It's Jami." she said as Roger bolted up on the bed.

"I'll get him."

"Who's that?" he asked looking over at Jami.

"I... I don't know. It's some woman." she smiled over at him.

"Some woman? Go Mark." he called out laughing.

"Roger, shut up. She'll hear you." she covered the mouth piece of the phone before holding it to her chest.

"Hello." Mark said taking the phone.

"Who was that and how long have you been keeping her from us?" Jami laughed as Roger jumped out of the bed to go to her in the living room.

"You... you guys are back? I... I didn't expect to hear from you until the morning." he stuttered holding the phone.

"Obviously. So, are you gonna tell me who your friend is or are Roger and I gonna have to pay a little visit?" she laughed as Roger leaned down to try to listen in on the phone call.

"It's... it's my friend Maureen. I... I was gonna tell you about her at breakfast tomorrow morning." he stammered as Roger grabbed the phone.

"Maureen's back? What happened? Did Joanne break up with her and she needed her pet back?" Roger hissed as Jami looked up at him confused.

"Roger, it's not like that. Just... why don't you and Jami come over and we can all hang out." he suggested looking over at Maureen who was sitting on the couch.

"She walked out 2 and a half years ago, claiming that she couldn't stand to wait for me and Collins to die and now she's back? For what? To string you along again?" Roger was angry and concerned for Mark.

"Roger, stop it." Jami said reaching up to grab the phone. "We'll be over Mark. I'll talk to him. Just give us a little while, OK?" she said before hanging up the phone.

"James, you're not gonna talk me out of remembering what she put him through. She cheated on him with Joanne and then when she finally broke up with him, she kept hanging around and rubbing his nose in it. It wasn't pretty. You weren't there, I was." Roger ranted walking around the apartment.

"And he still loves her Roger. He never stopped." she said looking over at him.

"How... how do you..." he asked looking over at her.

"He told me. Roger, he and I were friends before you and I got together, remember? We did a lot of talking. I mean, we did spend a lot of time together. That is, before you and I started dating and made Mark the lonely one. He always loved her. He deserves to be happy, doesn't he?" she asked looking over at him.

"Yeah, he does. But Maureen? You don't know if she's the best person for him to..." he started when she interrupted him.

"She is the person he wants to be with Roger. We have each other, why can't he have the someone he loves?" she asked walking towards him.

"I'm not saying he can't have anyone, but Maureen? She... she hurt him James. You didn't see it." he said looking down at her.

"And yet he loves her anyway." she looked up at him.

"This is not gonna end well James." he warned looking down at her.

"What if it does?" she asked wrapping her arms around his waist.

"Then it'll be a miracle." he chuckled leaning down to kiss her head.

"Miracles can happen, you know? Look at us." she smiled looking up at him.

"Yeah well... we're different." he smiled holding her to him.

"How do you figure?" she laughed looking up at him.

"Because you're amazing and trust me, Maureen is so not." he smiled down at her.

"Can I at least meet her before I decide to hate her?" she laughed looking up at him.

"Fine, but when you do, don't say I didn't warn you." he leaned down to kiss her.

"Deal." she laughed holding him tight before they decided to go over to the loft.

When they walked in, Maureen and Mark were sitting on the couch. They weren't in one another's arms, but they were talking and drinking beer. Mark looked really happy. Happier than Jami's ever seen him look. "You guys are home. Hey." he smiled looking over at them.

"Hi Mark. Um... you must be Maureen. I've heard so much about you." Jami smiled walking briskly over to Maureen.

"Hi Jami. Mark's told me a lot about you too. Um... hey Roger." she smiled faintly looking up at Roger.

"Hey Maureen." he said quietly holding Jami's hand.

"Mark... Mark tells me that you're engaged and you guys are moving in here. Congratulations." she smiled up sensing Roger's discomfort.

"Yeah, we got engaged last weekend while we were at Roger's mom's house and we just got back from visiting my family this weekend." Jami smiled looking over at her as Roger stood silently.

"Maureen, can... can I talk to you alone for a minute?" Roger asked staring down at her.

"Roger, maybe..." Jami said looking up at him.

"It's OK Jami. I... I expected this. It'll be fine." Maureen smiled looking over at her as she followed him towards his bedroom.

"Mark, I'm really sorry. I... I talked to him, but you know how Roger is. I don't even think he knows what he's gonna say to her." Jami said looking over at Mark.

"I know what he's gonna say to her. But then he's gonna hug her and welcome her home. Him and Maureen have always had this strange bond. I never understood it, but he's the one who actually introduced us." Mark smirked looking over at Jami.

"He... you? Um... am I the only one who finds that really ironic?" she asked looking over at him.

"No. It is pretty ironic, isn't it?" he laughed looking over at her.

"Um.. yeah, you think?" she laughed throwing her arm around him.

"Nice to see the Barnett's aren't cultists either." he smiled at her

"They loved him. I swear everyone's out to get me." she laughed looking over at him.

"How do you figure?" he laughed.

"I've been worrying for the last 2 weeks for nothing. His family loves me, my family loves him. Ugh, it's so frustrating." she flopped down on the couch.

"You're just frustrated that he's been right about everything so far." he laughed sitting next to her.

"Shut up. And don't you dare point it out to him. He'll get a big head." she laughed holding her head in her hands.

"Oh yeah, and he's so humble and modest now." he laughed putting his arm around her shoulders.

"He is a cocky fuck, isn't he?" she laughed leaning her head on his shoulder.

"Yep. And you're marrying him." he leaned over to kiss her head.

"I couldn't be happier." she smiled up at him, both wondering what was going on in the next room.

"Why are you back Maureen? I thought it was too much heartache waiting for me and Collins to die after Angel and Mimi?" Roger asked picking up the shirt that was on his bed, starting to fold it.

"It is, but Roger I love him. I always have." she said looking over at him.

"You loved him so much that you broke up with him to be with Joanne and then hung around to break his heart some more." he said tossing the shirt onto the bed again.

"I know Roger. I... I was really stupid. I... I was young and with everything going on. I messed up." she pleaded looking over at him.

"What happened with Joanne? Did you cheat on her again and she kicked you out?" he asked angrily.

"No. Nothing like that. I... I left her. I haven't been happy for a while and I missed Mark. I realized my feelings for him and I... I wanted to be with him again." she said looking up at him.

"Maureen, if you break his heart again, so help me..." he started as he walked over to her.

"I love him Roger. You know me better than anyone. I wouldn't be back here if I was only gonna break his heart again." she said looking up at him.

"He deserves to be happy Maureen and according to Jami, he loves you too. He never stopped either." he said looking over at her.

"Jami, huh? How did that start up?" she asked looking over at him.

"Wanna laugh?" he started when she nodded. "He introduced us. She's his filming partner. Actually, she's a screen writer." he smiled down at her.

"You're kidding? Talk about things coming full circle." she laughed looking up at him.

"Yeah, I know. And now I'm getting married. I'm gonna be someone's husband." he smiled down at her in disbelief.

"You're gonna make a great husband. Mark tells me she's really great." she smiled at him.

"She is totally great. My family loves her, her family loves me. Everything's a go."

"Why wouldn't her family love you? You're a great guy." she smiled wrapping her arms around him to hug him.

"Thanks Maureen. Welcome home." he smiled kissing her head.

"It's good to be home." she smiled up at him as they exited the bedroom.

"Nice to see you're still alive." Jami smiled getting up from the couch.

"Roger's a big teddy bear. He wouldn't hurt anyone." Maureen smiled looking down at her.

"I was talking about Roger. I figured you'd go ninja on his ass after he was done yelling at you." Jami laughed walking over to Roger as Mark walked over to Maureen.

"Ha ha. Who's side are you on anyway?" Roger asked as he leaned down to kiss Jami.

"From what I've heard about Maureen? Definitely hers." she giggled wrapping her arms around his waist.

"Nah, I could never hurt Roger." Maureen smiled as Mark put his arms around her.

"You guys dated, didn't you?" Jami laughed looking over at them.

"Only like one or two dates. We figured out we were better off friends." Roger smiled down at her.

"And kissing Roger was like kissing my brother. I don't know, there was no heat. No chemistry." Maureen told her as Jami buried her face in Roger's chest to hide her laughing.

"See, I'm not the only one who thinks it's funny." Mark laughed looking over at Jami.

"I don't understand why that's funny?" Roger asked confused.

"I'm sorry Baby. I... I've been with you and I have to say, no heat or chemistry is not something I thought I would ever hear when hearing a woman describe you." she laughed looking up at him.

"She's a lesbian." he whined in his own defense.

"I'm bi, thank you very much." Maureen conceded as Mark and Jami laughed hysterically.

"Whatever. Anyway, Maureen's moving back in, OK?" Mark smiled up at them.

"Oh, I can see it now. All 4 of us living under the same roof is gonna be trouble for everyone." Jami laughed looking over at Mark.

"Stick with me. I know all of Roger's Achilles heels." Maureen smiled over at Jami.

"This is not gonna bode well for us, is it?" Roger laughed looking down at Mark.

"Speak for yourself. She didn't say anything about me." Mark laughed looking up at Roger as Jami buried her face in Roger's chest.

"This is gonna be so much fun." Jami smiled looking up at her fiance.

"I wonder how funny you're gonna think it is when Maureen's hogging the bathroom." Roger played with Jami's hair.

"We'll be fine. I think it'll be nice to have another girl around here. At least I won't be alone in disciplining you two." Jami smiled up at him.

"Yeah, it will be nice." Roger smiled down at her.


	22. Chapter 22

It's been a week since Jami and Maureen moved into the loft. Everyone was getting along great. Roger got a job as a club band at a rock and roll club in the village. Mark had put together a rough draft of what he and Jami had already filmed of the screen play and the production company loved it. They were given advances towards the finished product. Maureen got a job as a bartender at the same bar. Roger's first public performance in 5 years was quickly approaching and he was growing more nervous by the day. He's never had stage fright before, but the prospect of performing in front of Jami was getting to him. He wanted her to be proud of him. She had so much faith in him, that he didn't want to disappoint her. He spent hours and hours rehearsing, making sure everyone knew their parts and that their first performance would be perfect. Jami had started spending a lot of time with Maureen, who had picked up every bridal magazine on the market, to help Jami plan her wedding. "Maureen, why is there a pile of magazines on my bed? Again?" Jami yelled walking into hers and Roger's room.

"You're still looking for a dress, so I thought I'd help you out a little. You know, give you some ideas." she said flipping through a gossip magazine, sitting on the couch.

"Yeah well, I don't have time to go through them right now. I have to start getting ready for Roger's show. And so should you." she yelled from her bedroom. She picked up the magazines and placed them under the nightstand before starting to pick out her clothes. "I have no clothes." she called out, rifling through her drawers.

"You have plenty of time. Why are you freaking out?" she asked standing in the doorway of the bedroom.

"I know, I... I just want to look perfect. I mean, it's Roger's first performance and I don't want to go there looking like I just threw something on." she told her as she sat at the foot of the bed.

"Jami, you know Roger's gonna love whatever you wear. All he wants is to perform for you. He wants you to be proud of him." she smiled sitting next to her on the bed.

"I am proud of him. Him doing this has nothing to do with me. It was his talent and his longing that did this. Not me. I just fell for the guy in Mark's films and gave him a second chance at love." she said looking up at her.

"Don't sell yourself short Jami. You gave him a lot more than a second chance at love. Sure, he wanted to start a new band, but you gave him the guts to stop using stupid excuses and actually do it." she smiled at her.

"Yeah, he didn't want to get some stupid kids. He didn't realize that he was one of those stupid kids not so long ago." she smiled up at her.

"But he was always better than those dumb asses who had dreams of sex, drugs and rock and roll." she said looking over at her.

"Tell me about Roger when he was with April." Jami asked looking over at her.

"He was young and really stupid. He thought he was in love with her and thought he could handle himself in her world. Guess what?" she asked looking over at her.

"He was only human." Jami spoke quietly looking over at her.

"Yep. But he went through a lot of growing up since then. He's a better man than I've ever seen him. That's because of you." she smiled putting her arm around Jami's shoulder.

"It's because of Mimi. She... she made him believe that it wasn't too late for him to fulfill his dream." she said looking up at her.

"But you made him a better man. You made him want to be someone's husband." she smiled at her.

"And father." she looked down at her hands.

"You're not..." she asked looking over at her.

"No, I'm... I'm not. But he said that he'd like me to be."

"He... he said that?" Maureen asked surprised.

"Yeah, he... he said that he knows that with us using the condoms because of the HIV, it'll be unlikely, but accidents happen and if it does, he'd be really happy about it." she smirked looking up at her.

"That's great Jami." she smiled at her.

"Yeah, but how likely is it that an accident is gonna happen? I mean, we... we always use condoms and they're a form of contraceptive too. What if... what if it never happens?" she asked quietly.

"You and Roger are meant to be together, so I don't see why you wouldn't be able to have a baby. You deserve to be able to have something that represents your love." Maureen reassured her.

"I hope so. He... he deserves to leave his mark in the world." she said before getting up from the bed.

"Jami, I..." she started as Jami looked back at her.

"Forget it Maureen. I'm fine. I just wish there was some way we can guarantee it, you know?" she asked looking over at her.

"But you can't. And you know Roger would never let it happen that way. He loves you too much to put your life in jeopardy like that." she looked over at her.

"Yeah, I know. I love him so much for it, but having his child means more to me than any minuscule risk we would be taking." she looked over at her.

"To him it's not a minuscule risk. It's everything." she said getting up from the bed.

"My fiancé is way too protective of me." she said looking over at her.

"He loves you James. Get used to it." Maureen smiled before catching a glimpse of the time. "I guess I'm gonna start getting ready. I... I took a shower earlier so you could have the bathroom to yourself to get ready." she smiled over at her.

"Thanks. Roger should be home soon to get ready. Um... can... can you help me pick out my clothes? The boys are useless and I want to look amazing." she asked looking back at her.

"No problem. You go in the shower. Leave your wardrobe to me." she smiled at her shoving her out of the bedroom.

"Thanks. I'm... I'm glad you're home." she smiled at her.

"Me too." Maureen smiled as Jami went into the shower and she began opening and closing dresser drawers.

Shortly afterwards Roger got home. He heard the shower going and hoped it wasn't Maureen. He needed to go in and didn't want to take a cold shower. He went into his bedroom, taking his jacket off. There were clothes set out on the bed, so he hung his jacket up on the other side of the room. Figuring that it was Jami in the shower. He started taking his clothes off and wrapped a towel around his waist. He snuck towards the bathroom and opened the door quietly. He stripped the towel off of himself before slowly pulling the curtain aside, revealing Jami's wet, naked body standing under the stream of steaming hot water. He stepped in before wrapping his arms around her slender waist. "Mmm, Mark, Roger's gonna be home any minute." she groaned leaning back into him.

"Mark? I'm not liking this game." he called out as she giggled.

"Oh Baby, it's you. I thought Mark's hands felt a little calloused." she turned to look up at him.

"How long has this been going on between you and Mark?" he inquired, playing along with her.

"Only since my fiance's been spending all of his time rehearsing for his new job." she reached up to wrap her arms around his neck, caressing the back of his hair.

"Well, I guess I'm gonna have to start spending more time at home then, huh?" he laughed looking down at her.

"Not if it means you don't get to perform. You promised me that I'd have a front row seat to watch you play and I'm cashing that in tonight." she smiled leaning up to kiss him.

"Anything for you Baby." he smiled holding her in his arms.

"Are you guys all set up for tonight?" she asked gazing up into his eyes as the water beat down on her shoulders and back.

"Yep. All set up. Sound check done. Every thing's perfect. So I'm all yours until 9." he smiled down at her.

"Well, that leaves a whole lot of time for us to play before we have to go." she smiled seductively before leaning up to kiss him passionately.

"I... I forgot a little something in my rush to get in here." he broke the kiss looking into her eyes.

"Oh... OK. I guess I'll just have to clean you up then. I'll get all of those hard to reach places for you." she smiled up at him.

"I'm sorry James. I..." he stuttered looking down at her.

"It's OK Roger. Don't worry about it." she reassured him, reaching over for the soap.

"No it's... it's not OK. A normal couple would be able to do this in the shower, but we... we can't without a little preparation." he looked down at her uncomfortable.

"Roger, we are a normal couple. Every couple has hurdles, this just happens to be ours." she said looking up at him.

"This doesn't bug you?" he asked looking down at her.

"Maybe a little, but only because I don't want to rely on an accident." she smiled starting to rub soap along his muscular chest.

"I love you James. I'm not willing to risk your life." he wrapped his arms around her waist, pressing his lower body into hers.

"I love you too Roger. I'm not saying that we should... you know, without protection. I'm just saying I don't want to wait for an accident to happen." she said stepping back from him.

"I will not do that to you James, so don't ask me to." he looked down at her.

"I'm not asking you to. I'm... I'm sorry if it came out that way." she apologized looking up at him.

"James, I..." he stuttered as she interrupted him.

"We...we better hurry up, or this is gonna start to bug me very soon." she looked up at him.

"You have no idea how much this bugs me too." he said looking down at her.

"I think I have a little idea." she smirked up at him.

"I love you too much to do that to you." he put his hand on her shoulder.

"I know. I'm sorry." she continued to clean him. Her touch electrocuted every nerve ending in his body. He wished he could make love to her right there, but he wouldn't risk infecting her. She was his future.

When they turned the shower off, Roger stepped out wrapping the towel around his waist before handing her the large towel she had brought in for herself. "Got it Baby?" he smiled as she stepped out of the tub.

"Mhm. I'm fine." she smiled wrapping the towel around herself.

They opened the bathroom door and returned to their bedroom. "Is this what you're wearing?" he asked looking down at the clothes on the bed.

"If that's what Maureen set out for me, yeah." she smiled over at him.

"I always loved that top." he smiled leaning down to pick up the camisole.

"I can't believe she picked this out for me." she laughed looking up at him.

"I can't believe you let Maureen pick out your clothes." he laughed setting the camisole back on the bed.

"Well, I needed something amazing to wear for tonight. It's your first show and I was too nervous to do it myself. And you boys are useless." she said looking over at him.

"You're lucky it's not a rubber cat suit." he laughed looking over at her.

"I think we're safe there. Mark made her get rid of it when she moved in." she laughed reaching over to retrieve her panties. They were black lacy panties.

"Oh thank God. If I have to see her in that again, I was gonna poke my eyes out." he laughed slipping into his boxers.

"You're... you're gonna wear those?" she asked looking over at him as she put her strapless bra on.

"Um, they're underwear so unless I want to go commando, I was thinking so. Why?" he asked looking over at her.

"No reason. I just thought you were gonna wear your leather pants, that's all." she leaned down to retrieve her shiny black bootleg pants.

"You were serious about that?" he asked looking over at her.

"Um... yeah. I... I was. I used to love seeing you in those when you were performing at the Pyramid Club." she smiled reaching over for her camisole.

"I haven't worn those in years. What makes you think I can still get my fat ass into them?" he laughed looking over at her.

"You do not have a fat ass. I happen to think you have a very sexy ass. It's one of the things I first noticed about you." she sauntered over to him, throwing her arms around his neck, flashing him her blue eyes.

"I'll try them on, but if I can't get them past my thighs, I wear my jeans." he submitted looking down at her.

"That's all I ask." she leaned up to kiss his soft lips. "I'm gonna go dry my hair." she let go of him to return to the bathroom to dry her hair.

"That woman's gonna kill me yet." he laughed to himself before going over to the clothing rack in the corner of the room where his old clothes hung. He pawed through them trying to find the leather pants she loved so much. He held them to his waist and they appeared to be the correct size. He walked over the bed attempting to put his leather pants on. He heard the hair dryer going as he struggled to get his old leather pants on.

"It might be easier if you went commando." a voice called out from the door.

"Maureen. Do you mind? I'm trying to get dressed in here." he asked looking up from his laying down position on the bed.

"I'm just saying. It always worked for me. Either that or I wore thongs, but I doubt you have any." she chuckled entering the room.

"What are you doing in here?" he asked leaning up on his elbows.

"Just wanted to come in and see if Jami needed help with her hair or anything."

"Well she's in the bathroom. I'm sure you heard the hair dryer going." he looked over at her.

"Nah, I heard it. I just thought it was you. I remember how girly you always got about your hair in the old days." she laughed sitting next to him.

"She's not in here, so is there something you wanted from me or are you just here to be annoying?" he asked looking up at her.

"Roger, I know it's gonna take a lot for me to get back into your good graces, but..." she started when he interrupted her.

"All it's gonna take is for you to not hurt Mark." he said looking up at her.

"I know there's nothing I can say to make you believe that I won't, but I can promise you that I'm not gonna run away when things get rough again." she looked down at him.

"Good, because you know Mark and James are gonna need a rock and I always looked at you as the toughest chick I knew." he looked up at her.

"Really?" she asked surprised.

"Yeah. You... you were always the toughest chick anywhere. You never put up with anyone's crap and they're gonna need you to shake them out of it when the time comes." he looked up at her.

"Roger, we really don't need to talk about this right now. You're getting ready for your first show and Jami's really excited to see you perform."

"I do need to talk about this now. I need to make sure that they're gonna be taken care of. I need you to promise me that you're gonna take care of them and that you're gonna be here to do it." he said sitting up on the bed.

"I will Roger. I... I promise. I love Mark so much, I'm... I'm not gonna hurt him again and Jami's great. I mean, we're just getting to know each other, but I see how great she is for you and I can really see us becoming best friends. Especially since she's marrying one of my other best friends." she smiled at him.

"Thanks Maureen. Um... can... can you go now? I need to try to get these pants on for James." he smiled at her.

"She's gonna eat you up the second she sees you in those." she smiled getting up from the bed to leave the room.

"Yeah, thanks." he laughed as he laid his head back down on the bed before trying to get the pants on.

"You're still not dressed? Roger, you have to be at the club in a half hour." Jami complained fluffing her hair as she walked into the bedroom.

"I know, I... I got sidetracked." he stuttered looking up at her. "Uh... James, I don't think I'm gonna be able to wear these."

"Oh come on. You can get those on. You just need to change your underwear. Think briefs." she smirked over at him as he lay with his clothes disheveled.

"Briefs, huh? Maureen suggested commando or thongs." he laughed looking up at her.

"Thongs, hmm. I like the sound of that." she laughed looking over at him.

"You girls are impossible." he laughed looking up at her as he took his pants off.

"But that's why you love us." she smiled as she turned to the mirror above the dresser to apply her makeup.

"Yeah, I do love you, no doubt about that." he looked over at his gorgeous fiance.


	23. Chapter 23

Roger, Jami, Mark and Maureen left the loft for the club. Mark and Maureen held hands while Roger and Jami walked with their arms around one another. Roger wearing his leather pants. "So, how excited are you to be performing again?" Maureen asked looking over at Roger.

"Really excited. I can't wait for James to see me." he smiled looking down at Jami.

"I can't wait to see you either. With that spotlight on you and you singing to me." she smiled up at him.

"Me neither Baby." he smiled as they turned the corner to the club. As they entered the club, Mrs. Davis, Chris, Doug and Heather were there, sitting at the bar.

"You guys are here. Finally. What were you doing, struggling to get into those pants? Who do you think you are, Jon Bon Jovi?" Heather asked rushing over to them.

"Um... hi Heather. Baby, what are my in laws doing here?" she asked hugging her soon to be sister in law before looking up at Roger.

"I wanted it to be a surprise." he smiled down at her.

"What other surprises do you have in store for me?" she asked looking up at him.

"You'll see." he smiled directing his attention to the back of the bar, where the Barnett family was. Minus her pregnant sisters in law.

"Oh my God. How did you arrange this?" she asked looking over at her brothers.

"Let's just say, it helps that I'm engaged to a very special lady." he smiled as everyone rushed to the front of the bar to greet Roger and Jami.

"You look beautiful James." Mrs. Barnett smiled at her daughter.

"Thanks mama. Mama, I'd like you to meet Roger's mother..." she started making the introductions.

"Ginger, it's so nice to finally meet you." Mrs. Barnett smiled hugging her.

"How... how do you two...?" she started looking over at her mother.

"We've been talking on the phone dear. Our children are getting married and we thought it would be nice if we could get to know each other." Mrs. Davis smiled at her.

"Oh God. Um... I think I need a drink." Jami spoke quietly looking up at Roger.

"I hear ya Baby." he laughed leaning down to kiss her head before going over to the bar to order the drinks.

"Maureen, you grew up into a beautiful young woman." Mrs. Davis smiled hugging Maureen.

"Thank you Mrs. Davis. It's been ages." she smiled hugging her.

"Um... this is making me very uncomfortable." Jami said looking up at Roger after taking a long sip from her wine.

"What's the matter Baby? Their kids are getting married. It's only right that they get along." he smiled down at her.

"Yeah but... my mother and your mother? This can only spell trouble for me. Big time." she said sipping her wine again.

"You're exaggerating." he laughed taking a sip of his beer.

"Sure, take their side. But I am not wearing some old fashioned wedding gown that's been handed down from generation to generation. I'm telling you that right now. I wear what I want to wear and that's it." she said looking up at him.

"That's why Heather's here. She's got your back. Don't worry about anything." he smirked down at her.

"Thank God for Heather." she smiled up at him.

"See, I would never throw you to the wolves without back up." he leaned down to kiss her tenderly.

"You are the most wonderful man." she smiled up at him as Aidan interrupted them.

"Dude, do you think I can see your guitar?" he asked looking over at him.

"Sure man. Gotta go Baby. I'll see you before I go on, OK?" he smiled at her.

"No problem Baby. Have fun you two. Aidan, play nice and don't mess with the strings on Roger's guitar." she teased looking over at her brother.

"Sure little sister." he giggled looking over at her before following Roger to the stage.

"Looks like Roger and Aidan are getting along." Mrs. Barnett observed watching Roger help Aidan put the guitar on.

"Yeah. I guess Roger's swept the whole Barnett family off of our feet, huh?" she laughed looking at her mother.

"He's a good man James. He loves you very much. That's all I ever could have asked for you." she smiled as Aidan and Roger laughed together.

"I love him very much too mama. More than anyone will ever know." she smiled watching her fiancé from across the room.

"Sweetheart, I think we all know." she laughed putting her arm around her daughter.

"Am I that transparent?" she asked looking over at her.

"You both are. He adores you. Tonight he may be getting back on stage, but it's your night. He wants everything to be perfect for you." she smiled at her.

"All I ever need is him, mama." she smiled at her.

"And you have him my darling. You have his love and his worship. What more could a woman want?" she asked looking over at her.

"More time." she said looking up from her drink.

"All you need is right now James."

"I know mama. I know." she smiled looking over at Roger and Aidan, who were laughing.

"Look at all these people here to see Roger." Maureen called out excitedly as she rushed over to Jami.

"I'm not surprised. I can't be the only one who has been waiting for him to get back on stage after all this time." she smiled at her.

"Apparently not." Maureen smiled as Mark spoke with Doug. Chris was making conversation with a couple of Jami's brothers.

"This is turning out to be an amazing night." Jami smiled at her.

"It's just beginning." Heather smiled as Roger stared over at her with a huge smile on his face.

"I can't believe he had the time to organize all this. I mean, he's been rehearsing and everything." she said looking over at him.

"He's been on the damn phone calling around all week to arrange it." Nate intervened leaning over to the bar for a beer.

"Hey Nate. Are you excited about tonight?" Jami asked looking up at him.

"Yeah, Roger's on the top of his game. I always loved performing with him." he smiled at her as he took a swig of his beer.

"Well, not too much longer now." she smiled at him.

"Lemme go rescue him. Looks like those fans are monopolizing all of his time."

"Those fans are my brothers. You know how boys are with guitars." she laughed at him.

"Cool. I'm gonna go say hi." he smiled before going over to the stage to where Roger and the other guys were.

"Are you as nervous for him as I am?" Mrs. Davis asked putting her arm around her future daughter in laws shoulders.

"Terrified." she laughed looking over at her.

"I thought so. You look it. But he's gonna do great. You'll see. He's ready. Probably more ready than he's ever been in his whole life." she smiled at her.

"He really deserves this second chance Mrs. Davis." she smiled up at her.

"He needs this second chance. I'm afraid if this doesn't go right for him, he's gonna give up and then he won't have anything else." she said looking over at her.

"I won't let him give up, I promise." she smiled at her future mother in law.

"I know you won't Jami. Thank you. You're all that he's ever needed. I'm just sorry you didn't come into his life sooner." she looked up at her son, playing around with his future brothers in law.

"Me too." Jami answered quietly looking at her fiancé. Roger rushed over to Jami before wrapping his arms around her.

"Is everything OK Baby?" he leaned down to whisper in her ear.

"Couldn't be better. Really." she smiled up at him.

"I gotta go on in a little while. Are you sure you're OK?" he asked looking down at her.

"I'm fine Baby. I just can't wait to see you up there again." she smiled up at him.

"I will be singing to you. Just for you." he smiled kissing her head.

"I am so proud of you Roger. Never forget that, OK?" she insisted looking deep into his eyes.

"I won't James, don't worry. I won't." he assured her holding her closer to him.

"You... you better go. You're on." she smiled up at him as she noticed Nate giving a look Roger's way.

"I love you James." he smiled down at her.

"I love you too Roger. Now go up there and kick some ass." he leaned up to kiss his lips.

"Anything for my girl." he smiled before heading over to the stage.

"Come on Jami. Front and center." Doug called out dragging Jami up to the front row as everyone followed. As she, Chris, Doug, Heather, Aidan, Stephan, Jessica, Jack, Tommy, Cindy, Alex, Lisa, Maureen, Mark, Mrs. Barnett and Mrs. Davis stood in the front row, Roger and the band rocked the house. Jami beamed with pride as Roger played guitar and sang through the night. After the show, everyone hung out at the bar laughing and having fun.

"Jami, we should go looking at wedding dresses tomorrow while we're all in town." Heather smiled at her.

"What is it with everyone nagging me to find a dress? I have plenty of time. The wedding's not until spring and it's not even Halloween yet." she laughed looking over at her as she sat in Roger's arms.

"It'll be here before you know it." Mrs. Barnett smiled at her.

"But mama, I wanted to sleep in tomorrow. I have writing to do and I didn't get much done today." she said looking over at her mother.

"Fine James. Wear your t-shirt and jeans for all we care, but I'm sure Roger would like to see his bride in a long, beautiful white gown." Mrs. Barnett smirked at her before taking a sip of her wine.

"She's right James." Roger smiled kissing her head.

"Oh sure, like she needs help guilt tripping me into doing stuff. Whose side are you on anyway?" she laughed looking up at him.

"Yours. I know you don't want to walk down the aisle wearing t-shirt and jeans. Especially since I'm gonna be wearing a tuxedo." he teased looking down at her.

"A tuxedo? You?" she asked in disbelief.

"Complete with a bow tie and a cumber bun" he laughed.

"Hmm, so I guess I owe it to you to wear a long, beautiful white wedding dress, huh?" she asked looking up at him.

"I guess you do." he smiled as they continued talking.

By the end of the night, Roger and Jami were exhausted. The Barnett and the Davis families went to the hotel they were staying at a few blocks away, Roger, Jami, Mark and Maureen walked back to the loft. Mark and Maureen walked behind Roger and Jami, who were talking quietly. "You were incredible Roger. I... I never remember you being that good back in the day." Jami gushed looking up at him.

"I wasn't. I... I guess I grew as a musician as well as a man." he smiled at her.

"You were wonderful Roger. And inviting everyone was an amazing thing to do. I can't believe you pulled it off." she smiled at him.

"Yeah well, I wanted to surprise you. So, how'd I do?" he smiled down at her.

"Great. I loved how you had my brothers eating out of the palm of your hand." she laughed at him.

"What can I say, guys love guitars and rock and roll." he laughed looking down at her.

"Apparently. I've never seen them like that." she smiled at him.

"I guess that means I belong in the Barnett family." he laughed holding her in his arms.

"Be careful what you wish for. They're a rowdy bunch." she laughed looking up at him.

"You forget, I'm a Davis. I can handle anything." he laughed looking into her sparkling blue eyes.

"True." she laughed looking up at him.

"Besides, it's you I'm worried about. It's gonna be you against Maureen, Heather, your mother, my mother Jessica, Cindy and Lisa." he laughed as they approached the building.

"It's a small price to pay to be marrying you." she smiled as they entered the building and walked up to the loft.

"Does anyone feel like a night cap?" Maureen asked walking towards the kitchen.

"Yeah, I think that would be nice. Just the 4 of us." Jami smiled at her as Roger and Mark walked over to the window. Mark opened it and although the fall air was crisp, he stepped out onto the fire escape as Roger followed him.

"Is everything OK Mark?" Roger asked joining him.

"Yeah, everything's great actually. I'm... I'm really proud of you for getting up there tonight." he smiled over at his best friend.

"Man, we've been through a lot here, huh?" Roger asked looking over at him.

"Yeah, you being the lead singer of the hottest band in the city, girlfriends, drugs, death, withdrawal, HIV, more death, you hunting down a new band and now Jami. You're getting married man and your on top of the world. Think you found your glory yet?" he smirked over at him as he leaned on the railing.

"Yeah, man. I... I think I found a lot more than that." he smiled as Maureen and Jami came out onto the fire escape with beer bottles for everyone.

"Is everything OK out here?" Maureen asked looking over at Mark.

"Yeah, everything is great." he replied taking the bottle from her.

"Couldn't be better." Roger smiled wrapping his arm around Jami's waist as she handed him his beer.

"To second chances." Jami smiled holding the beer bottle up.

"For everyone." Maureen smiled at Mark before holding her beer bottle up to join Jami's. Mark and Roger silently followed suit.


	24. Chapter 24

The next morning, Jami woke up freezing. She pulled the blanket up more and curled up into a ball. Roger felt her shift next to him and turned over, wrapping his arms tightly around her.

"Are you OK Baby?" he asked holding her in his arms.

"No, it's friggin' freezing in here. Mark warned me that you guys had shitty heat, but I never imagined it would be like this. Especially in September." she turned over, burying her face in his warm, bare chest.

"I'm sorry Baby. Maybe moving in here was a bad idea. You probably had plenty of heat at your place." he said looking down at her.

"No, it wasn't a mistake. I'm just gonna have to get used to it. Or maybe I should buy a heater." she shivered holding him tight for body heat.

"Or I could hold you in my arms and use my hot body to warm your hot body." he whispered seductively caressing her body.

"Mmm, is that all you think about?" she asked looking up at him.

"When I'm around you, it's inevitable." he laughed leaning down to kiss her.

"Do we have...?" she asked looking up at him.

"Mhm." he said reaching over to the nightstand and opening the drawer. He pulled out the box and it was empty. "Or not." he said taking the box out of the drawer.

"It's... it's OK. I... I have to get up and start getting ready to meet all the girls uptown." she stuttered starting to get out of their warm bed.

"No Jami, it's not OK. I'm sorry. I should have paid closer attention to our supply. I... I'll be paying attention from now on." he apologized looking up at her.

"Roger, it's fine." she reached over for her plush bathrobe, wrapping it around her cold body.

"Maybe Mark has some." he asked looking up at her.

"You most certainly will not ask Mark for condoms. God Roger, that's embarrassing." she laughed nervously sitting on the foot of the bed.

"James, we're engaged. We should be able to do it whenever we want. I fucking hate this shit." he called out frustrated.

"It's better than the alternative, isn't it?" she asked looking over at him.

"Yeah, but... we're getting married. I should be able to have sex with my fiance whenever I want." he said looking over at her.

"We'll just have to pick some up later and it'll be more special tonight. I promise." she turned around more to face him.

"Jami, you don't get it. First last night in the shower and now... It's frustrating. Why the hell am I so stupid?" he asked getting out of the bed starting to pace around the bedroom.

"Honey, I understand that you're frustrated, but guess what? This is our life." she got up from the bed to go to him.

"You don't hate this shit? Having to plan our sex life around packets of latex?" he asked looking down at her.

"Of course I hate it Roger, but what can we do? Have unprotected sex and risk me getting infected.?I would never put you through that. Ever. Just like you wouldn't put me through it. We're in love with each other. There's nothing wrong with it." she stood in front of him taking hold of his bare biceps.

"I do love you more than you will ever know James." he smirked down at her.

"And just think, it'll be even hotter tonight when we are prepared." she laced her arms around his neck as he slipped his around her waist.

"You better believe it will be. I'm gonna blow your mind tonight." he chuckled leaning down to kiss her.

"Mmm, I don't doubt that at all." she smiled kissing him deeper.

"You... you better start getting ready. It's bad enough I'm gonna have to do something about this condition you've left me in." he laughed.

"You better not. Save it for the main event tiger. You made a whole lot of promises that I'm gonna collect on tonight." she laughed letting go of him and leaving the room.

"That woman's gonna kill me yet." he laughed to himself watching her saunter out of the bedroom.

Jami undressed and started the shower. She turned around, looking in the mirror above the sink. Running her fingers through her hair, she waited for the water to warm up. When she noticed the steam coming from behind the curtain, she turned around and climbed in. As the water cascaded down her body, she leaned her head under the water, thinking about Roger's frustration. It was her frustration too. How were they supposed to conceive a child if they had to constantly use birth control? Tears welled up in her eyes as the water soaked her blond hair.

Roger put his sweatpants and sweatshirt on before going into the kitchen to make breakfast. Mark came out of his bedroom. "Hey Rog. Is everything OK?" he asked walking towards him.

"Yeah, James is in the shower. Go wake Maureen up." he said told him continuing to make breakfast.

"Wedding dress shopping?" he asked sitting on the stool at the metal table.

"Yeah." he answered silently as he whisked the eggs.

"I heard you and James earlier. Is everything OK?" he asked looking up at him.

"Yeah, just... stupid shit coming back to bite me in the ass." he muttered looking over at him.

"What are you talking about?" he asked confused.

"I ran out of... mhm... and I couldn't make love to my fiance. OK? Is that clear enough for you?" he asked frustrated.

"I... I have..." he started when Roger interrupted him.

"I'm wasn't gonna go into your room to get condoms. God Mark, that's just creepy. I.. I should have been paying closer attention to my supply." he looked over at him.

"Roger, it happens. You... you can't always have them." he said looking over at him.

"Yeah well, I wish I could do it without those fucking things, but I had to go and be a moron when I was younger and screw everything up for me and James." he turned away from him to cook breakfast.

"You know you can't do it without them. You could risk infecting her and I know you better than that. You would never put her life in danger." he got up to go to her.

"I know. It's just... normal couples use them so they don't get pregnant. We actually want to get pregnant. This damn disease sucks." he looked over at him.

"Roger, she loves you no matter what. Whether she gets pregnant or not, she wants to be your wife. She wants to be with you for as long as you're alive." he looked over at him.

"Yeah, too bad it's not gonna be long enough for her." he looked away to finish cooking breakfast for his fiance and roommates.

"Roger, I..." Mark started as the phone rang.

"You should get that. Then wake Maureen up. I'm sure Jami doesn't want to wait around for her all morning to get ready." Roger called out as the eggs cooked on the stove.

"Hello." Mark answered he phone.

"Mark, is anyone up yet?" Mrs. Davis asked on the other end of the phone.

"Yeah, Roger's making breakfast, Jami's in the shower and I was just about to wake Maureen up. Do you want to talk to Roger?" he asked smiling over at Roger.

"No, it's OK. He's cooking. We'll be there in about an hour. You and the Barnett boys can hang out while us girls go wedding dress shopping."

"Um... OK Mrs. Davis. We'll see in a little while." he hung up the phone looking over at Roger. "You're mom and everyone are gonna be here in like an hour."

"OK. How many eggs do you want?" he asked looking over at him.

"2 please. Um, did you hear me? Your mom and everyone is gonna be here in an hour." he asked starting to pick stuff up in the living room.

"Yeah Mark, I heard. James is in the shower and you gotta wake Maureen up. Breakfast is almost ready." he told him non nonchalantly.

"Are you freaked out? I mean, your mom and Jami's mom are coming over and this place is hardly fit for parents."

"Mark, would you cool out. They're not coming here to check out the living conditions. They're here to get Jami and Maureen so they could go wedding dress shopping. Besides, maybe they'll see the place and take pity on us. Maybe buy some suitable furniture or something." he laughed as the bathroom door opened. Jami came out in her bathrobe, a towel wrapped round her head. "Hey Baby. Breakfast is almost ready."

"Mmm, I love when my baby cooks for me." she smiled rushing over to the kitchen. "Good morning Mark." she smiled over at him.

"Hey James. Everyone's gonna be here in an hour so you girls can go shopping." he said looking over at her.

"Are you kidding? Tell me he's kidding." she asked before looking over at Roger.

"Nope. My mom just called to see if anyone was up." Roger smiled down at her, placing her coffee mug in front of her.

"This place is a sty. We... we have to clean up." she called out, starting to rush around the living area, straightening up.

"It is not a sty." Roger's voice squeaked as he looked over at her.

"Oh no? Sheet music all over the tables, your guitar is on the couch, Maureen's high heel shoes are everywhere, Mark's bike and film reels. Roger, we have to clean this place up." she called out looking over at him.

"Why are you freaking out Baby? The place looks fine. People live here." he sipped his coffee as he watched her rush around the loft.

"Yeah, 4 adults. None of whom can clean up after themselves. My mom is gonna freak if she sees this place looking like this. She's gonna think we can't take care of ourselves." she looked over at him.

"Jami, she knows we can take care of ourselves." he lowered the burner on the stove before going over to Jami.

"As soon as she looks around this place looking like this, she's gonna highly doubt it." she looked up at him.

"Calm down Baby. Everything is gonna be OK. Why don't you sit down and eat breakfast? Mark's gonna go wake Maureen up so she can go in the shower and then when they get here, you girls can go shopping and us guys will just hang here. It'll be OK James. Don't worry about anything." he wrapped his arms around her.

"You mean to tell me that you're not worried about your mother coming in here and complaining that you live in a pig sty?" she asked looking up at him.

"Nope. Not at all." he smiled down at her. "It's not that bad James. Relax."

"Roger, your eggs." Mark called out looking over at the stove.

"Oh shit." he called out rushing over to the pan where he was cooking the eggs.

"I'm gonna go wake Maureen up. Maybe she'll be more helpful." Jami said going towards Mark's room.

"Good luck. It's mainly her shit." Roger called out laughing before Jami turned to give him a dirty look as she entered Mark's bedroom.

"What's going on out there?" Maureen grumbled turning over in her bed.

"Everyone's gonna be here in an hour and Roger doesn't seem to care that the loft is a mess." she said looking over at her.

"Roger's mom's not gonna care. Don't worry so much." she told her turning over.

"I do worry. I have to worry. If I don't, no one else will." she complained sitting on the bed next to her.

"OK, I'm up. What's wrong?" Maureen sat up on the bed.

"Haven't you been listening to me? The loft is a mess and our mom's are coming over in like an hour." she said looking over at her.

"Yeah Jami, I've been listening, but I know that something else is bothering you." she ran her hands through her hair.

"Nothing else is bothering me Maureen." she insisted looking away from her.

"I may have only known you a week, but girlfriend, I know when something's bothering you. Now spill it or I'll have to ask Roger."

"Have you ever... you know, slept with Mark without..." she started before getting up from the bed.

"Without protection?" she asked looking over at her.

"Yeah, without protection." she looked over at her.

"Yeah, a few times. But that was before HIV came into our lives. I mean, Collins was diagnosed first and then like a year and half later April killed herself and Roger was diagnosed. After that, we started using it." she explained looking over at her.

"Is Collins' diagnosis the reason Roger and April started using?" she asked looking over at her.

"Kind of, but it's not like Roger and April really knew each other before. She hung out at the bar that he played in and she was a groupie. She preyed on him. But Roger was using before he got with her. One of the other Well Hungarians introduced him to it. After that, he hooked up with April and they started doing it together. Why... why are you asking me about that?" she asked looking over at her.

"I don't know, I mean, Roger and I tried last night in the shower and then this morning, but... we weren't quite prepared and he got really frustrated." she looked over at her.

"Is everything OK?" she asked looking over at her.

"Yeah, we're fine. It's just... he hates that he and I can't... you know, whenever we want. He blames himself for being so stupid when he was younger." she looked over at her.

"You know he only feels that way because he thinks you deserve a lot more." she looked over at her.

"I deserve him Maureen. He's the greatest man I've ever met and the only thing I ever wanted was him. Since the day we met."

"I know Jami. And so does he. He just feels a lot of regret. He wants to be able to give you everything and he knows no matter what he does, there is one thing that there's no guarantee that he can give you." she got up from the bed to go to her.

"Kids." Jami spoke quietly looking over at her.

"And all the time you guys deserve together. But , I mean, you guys are in a monogamous relationship and you're getting married soon. You should be able to have unprotected sex. You both want kids, so why should it matter, right? But because of his HIV you can't. That's weighing on him." she said looking over at her.

"It shouldn't be. I love him no matter what. Whether I have his kids or not. I love him." she looked over at her.

"I know Jami. We all know." Maureen smiled setting her hand on Jami's arm.

"Yeah well, there's nothing we can do about it now, so let's eat breakfast and straighten up the living room." she looked over at her.

"There's breakfast?" she asked looking over at her.

"Roger's making it. He sent me in here to wake you up." she smiled at her.

"I love when Roger gets domestic. You know, having you here has done a lot for Roger's culinary abilities." she laughed reaching over for her robe.

"You mean, he didn't cook before?" she asked looking over at her.

"Only when he wanted something. Which ceased after Collins was diagnosed." she looked over at her.

"Tell me about Collins." she smiled at her.

"He's incredible. Like a big old teddy bear. I wish he would call so we could tell him about your engagement. I know he'd want to be here for your wedding." she looked over at her.

"Me too. I know Roger misses him." she looked up at her.

"We all do. I wish you could meet him. He'd love you." she laughed looking over at her.

"I don't doubt that I would." she smiled at her as they left the bedroom to eat breakfast.


	25. Chapter 25

It's Halloween. Roger was rehearsing at the club for the party they were throwing and Mark was helping Maureen set up. Jami was getting some writing done on Roger's story at the loft, but hit a wall, so she decided to go for a walk. She stood in the gateway of a small cemetery. She fixed the strap on her pocket book before walking in. she was wearing her high heeled boots, sol she could get used to walking in heels for when she and Roger got married. She didn't want to trip and fall down the aisle because she was clumsy. As she walked towards the 2 graves she went to visit, the sun shone on her pale, white face.

She knelt at the head of the gravestone that read Angel Dumott Schunard, 1975 - 1996. Jami stared at the dates and contemplated what they meant. Dead at the tender age of 21. Too young to be taken by a disease that took no prisoners. Too young and vital to be taken from the earth at all. She had more living to do. Although she never met Angel Dumott Schunard, the emotions began to well up from inside of her. She was taken by the same disease that plagued her fiance. Tears fell from her blue eyes as she clasped her hands together in prayer. Something she had learned when she was a young girl, being raised in an Irish Catholic family.

She began to say the Lord's prayer when she heard leaves crunching behind her. Startled, she looked back at where it was coming from. She looked back at a tall African American man wearing a black knit beanie and a long leather duster. He looked just as surprised to see her as she was to see him. "Did... did you know Angel and Mimi?" he asked looking over at her.

"No, um... I'm... I'm sorry. My... my fiance and a couple of my friends did and I just wanted to pay my respects." she answered beginning to stand up, but losing her balance and falling back on her rear. "Ugh." she called out sitting on her rear end on the grass.

"Are you OK?" he asked rushing to her aid.

"Yeah, I just... I'm a klutz. My fiance loves it, but it can be a little annoying sometimes." she let out a light hearted laugh looking into the kind man's eyes. She recognized him right away.

"I'm Collins. Tom. Tom Collins." he introduced himself gently.

"I... I know. Um, you... you know my fiance." she smiled up at him.

"Who's your fiance?" he asked curious as he helped her up.

"Roger Davis. He... he speaks very highly of you."

"Roger... Roger's engaged? Wow. That's.. that's great. You... you got yourself a good man." he smiled looking down at her.

"I know."

"So what's Roger up to nowadays?" he asked curious.

"Um... he's... he's playing at a club in the village now. He has a new band." she informed him as she dusted the grass off of her jeans.

"Good for him. He's real talented. Way too talented to be just fiddling around with that stupid guitar alone in the loft. He... he does still live at the loft, right?" he asked looking down at her.

"Yeah, I... I moved in with them a couple of months ago. Mark and Maureen live there too." she smiled up at him.

"Maureen's back with Mark? No kidding. Good for him. He never stopped loving her after everything that happened." he smiled at her.

"Yeah, they're cute together. But Roger's the one in trouble with me and Maureen. We drive him crazy." she laughed looking up at him.

"What's your name?" he asked looking down at her.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I'm... Jami. Jami Barnett. Well next spring it'll be Jami Davis, but for now I'm Jami Barnett." she smiled up at him.

"I am so happy to meet you Jami. Really. I'm glad Roger found himself someone as special as you." he smiled at her.

"I'm lucky to have found him too. Um... how long are you in town?" she asked looking up at him.

"I... I don't know. I wasn't even sure I was gonna come here, but being Halloween..." he started when he stared down at the gravestone.

"I know. I... I never met them, but I just wanted to come and be close to them. Especially today. The way Mark, Maureen and Roger talk about them, I feel like I do though." she looked up at him sympathetically.

"They would have loved you, you know? You love Roger. That's all they ever wanted for him." he smiled down at her.

"I do love him Collins. More... more than I thought I ever could, you know? He's such a wonderful man, he deserves so much." she said looking over at the gravestone.

"That's all anyone ever wanted for him Jami." he smiled at her.

"I... I know. He ... he wishes you'd come home." she looked up at him.

"I... I was kind of thinking about it." he seemed unsure.

"They would love that. They... they've been really worried about you." she looked up at him.

"I know. I... I was prepared to just die not seeing them again. But I... I couldn't stay away."

"Well, they'll be glad you're OK. I know I'm glad that you're OK." she looked up at him.

"Thanks Jami. I... I appreciate that." he smiled as they smiled at one another.

"Can... can I just have a minute with Angel and Mimi? Then we can go to the loft." she looked up at him.

"No problem. Take your time." he smiled as she faced the gravestones. She knelt down and began talking to Angel.

"Angel, I... I know we never met but... I just wanted you to know that I'm taking care of your family for you. They miss you and Mimi a lot." she said looking over at the gravestone. Collins listened holding back tears. This woman he never met before, who never met Angel or Mimi, but she was talking to them and taking care of the family they had formed over 3 years ago. "I'm... I'm sorry. Did... did you want to say something?" she looked up at him, wiping her tears from her eyes.

"Nah, I'm... I'm OK. I... I just wanted to be here."

"Are you sure? I... I can wait by the gate if you want some privacy." she offered getting up on her own.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Come on. I'll walk you home. A pretty girl like you shouldn't be walking around here alone. Plus, your fiance would kick my ass if I let you walk home alone." he smiled reaching out for her hand as they left the cemetery.

"Where have you been since you left?" she asked looking up at him.

"Here and there. I taught in Boston for a while, but then I got myself in trouble so I had to move on. It ain't easy being an anarchist." he laughed looking down at her.

"I wish I could do something meaningful with my life. Something that matters." she looked up at him.

"You are doing something that matters. You're a big part of this family. A family that hasn't been much of a family in the last few years. When we lost Mimi... we all got lost somehow." he looked down at her.

"Don't worry Collins. You're home now. We can start being a family again." she smiled clutching his hand in hers.

"I... I don't know Jami. Things are different now. A lot's happened since that year we spent together."

"But we're still a family. Roger, Mark and Maureen never gave up on you. They knew you'd be back." she stopped in the middle of the sidewalk.

"I don't know how. I didn't even know I'd be back. I never wanted to come back. Too... too many bad memories. Losing Angel, then Mimi. It was all just too much." he looked down at her.

"But we have a new start Collins. All of us. Mark and Maureen, Roger and now you." she insisted looking up at him.

"You're not positive, are you?" he asked smirking at her.

"No, but what does that have to do with anything?" she asked looking up at him.

"You're optimism. It's not the optimism of someone who's positive." he looked down into her blue eyes.

"Yeah well, I learned from a few of Mark's friends that HIV isn't a death sentence. Just because the test comes back positive, it doesn't mean it's time to give up." she looked up at him.

"Friends of Mark's? But I thought..."

"I... I kind of knew Mark first. We... we both work at a production studio in the village. I'm a screen writer and Mark's my camera man. More like my director, but we're making an independent film, so I guess he has to wear 2 hats." she smiled up at him.

"You saw Mark's film?" he asked surprised.

"Yeah, I... I saw a lot of Mark's films. I... I kind of got to know all of you pretty well." she smiled up at him.

"I'm glad he's filming. It's what he does best." he smiled as they continued walking towards the loft.

"Yeah, he's doing a great job too. We're just about done with my screenplay and I'm in the process of writing Roger's story. I... I want to make it screenplay so Mark can film that too. I don't want Roger to be forgotten." she slowed down looking at her feet.

"He will never be forgotten Jami. He will live on through his love for you. I guarantee that."

"Yeah, but we'll... we'll probably never have children because of the HIV and I mean I don't want him to just fade away." she looked up at him.

"There's no reason why you can't have kids. They're not 100 percent effective." he looked over at her.

"I... I know. I'm sorry. It's just.... it's a sore topic with me, that's all." she looked over at him.

"It doesn't have to be, you know. Good things happen to good people. You and Roger are good people. You'll have your little one. Trust me." he smiled at her.

"Roger keeps saying that it could happen by accident, but I... I don't know. I don't want to depend on an accident to have a piece of him with me when he's gone." she stopped in front of the building that housed the loft. Tears stung her eyes.

"I'm... I'm sorry Jami. I didn't..." he started looking down at her.

"Don't worry about it, really. I'm just being a stupid girl again. I get this way sometimes. I'll be fine." she said looking over at him.

"You're not a stupid girl Jami. You don't have to be OK, you know. Sometimes you need to let things out." he reassured her.

"I'm trying to be as hopeful as he is, but it's not very realistic for us to expect me to get pregnant despite the fact that we're using protection because of the HIV."

"It's not unrealistic for him to want to have a child with you. It's just Roger being Roger. He wants things with you that he's never wanted with anyone else. Marriage, children. He's grown up since I left." he reached over, tucking her hair behind her ear.

"Yeah, I... I guess he has." she smiled before turning around to unlock the door. "Um... Collins." she turned to look at him.

"Yeah?" he asked looking over at her.

"Thanks. You're... you're everything they all said you were. It means a lot for you to be here now. You have to promise me that you'll be here for mine and Roger's wedding." she looked up at him.

"I'm not going anywhere sweetie. I promise." he smiled as they went into the building. As they climbed the stairs, they heard the door to the loft open and Roger's footsteps rush down the stairs.

"James. James, where were you?" he asked before catching a glimpse of her.

"Roger, I'm fine. I just went for a walk." she called out walking up the stairs.

"I was just worr..." he started before seeing who Jami was with. "Collins? What the hell?" he called out rushing over to hug Collins.

"I ran into your fiance at the..." he started as Jami interrupted him.

"Store. I... I was at the store and I ran into him. I recognized him from Mark's film, so I started talking to him." she cut him off, trying to cover the fact that she was at the cemetery.

"How long are you in town? Are you OK? You heard I'm getting married, right?" he bombarded Collins with questions as he looked down at Jami curiously.

"Yeah, um can... can we go upstairs? I need a drink." Collins said looking up at Roger.

"Sure. Of course. Um... Mark and Maureen are up there now." Roger smiled at him as he excitedly rushed up the stairs.

"Why did you just lie to your fiance?" Collins asked quietly as they followed him.

"I'll tell you later. Please don't tell him where I was, OK?" she whispered looking up at him.

"No problem, but you owe me an explanation." he said looking over at her.

"I promise, later." she said looking up at him. They entered the loft and Roger was ecstatic.

"Guess who James ran into." he called out as Mark and Maureen lounged on the couch together.

"Collins." Maureen called out rushing over to him, throwing herself into his arms.

"Hey girlfriend. It's great to see you too." he smiled at her.

"How long are you in town?" Mark asked getting up from the couch.

"For good. I... I was kind of hoping my room was still available. Unless you rented it out to some riff raff." he joked looking down at them.

"Of course not Collins. You're welcome to stay as long as you want. After all, you have to at least stay long enough for spring, right?" Jami smiled over at him as Roger wrapped his arms around her.

"I wouldn't miss yours and Roger's wedding for anything in the world." he smiled looking over at her.

"So it's settled. We have another roommate." she smiled looking over at them.

"Now I get my revenge." Roger called out excitedly holding on to Jami tightly.

"You wish pretty boy. From what I hear, you were in more trouble when Collins was here then with it being just me and Maureen." she laughed looking up at him.

"To be fair, everyone was in trouble with Collins around. You and Maureen are amateurs compared to Collins." Mark laughed looking over at her.

"This is gonna be so much fun." Collins smiled looking over at them.

"I have to go in the shower to start getting ready for the party at the bar, so if anyone needs to use the bathroom, speak now or forever hold your peace." Maureen announced.

"No sweetie, go ahead. How did setting up at the bar go?" Jami asked looking over at them.

"Great. I picked out a whole bunch of new songs to play and Mark and Maureen did great with the decorations." Roger smiled leaning down at kiss her head.

"We missed you. Where were you?" Mark asked looking over at her.

"I... I got a little blocked with my story so I went for a walk. I was gonna get a candy bar and a soda or something, so I went into the store and I saw Collins. I went up to him and we got to talking." she lied looking over at him.

"I'm gonna go get my clothes ready for tonight. Are you coming Baby?" Roger asked looking down at Jami.

"I think I'm gonna help Collins get his room in order." she looked up at him. "Don't worry. I'll be ready for tonight, I promise." she smiled up at him.

"OK Baby." he leaned down to kiss her. "It's good to have you home Collins. We missed you." Roger smiled over at his friend.

"Yeah, I... I missed you guys too." Collins smiled as he and Jami went into his room and closed the door quietly. "Do you wanna tell me now why you want me to help you lie to your fiance, one of my best friends by the way?" he asked looking over at her.

"He doesn't need to know that I went to visit Mimi and Angel. It's too... painful for him still. He tries to separate his life with her from his life with me, but you and I both know he's not over her and he never will be." she whispered looking over at him.

"He's with you Jamie. He's marrying you. I see how he is with you. He was never like that with Mimi. Trust me. I saw him with her too. All he did was worry about her using and getting sick... he doesn't have to worry about you the same way." he looked over at her.

"But he loved her Collins. He always will love her. I know that and I'm fine with it. Really, I am." she insisted looking over at him.

"He loves you too Jami." he looked over at her.

"He makes sure I know it every minute we're together." she sat on his bed.

"But you think he's still in love with Mimi?" he sat next to her confused.

"I know he still loves her. But if it wasn't for the love he has for her, he wouldn't be able to love me the way he does. She opened him back up after April and the withdrawal and his diagnosis. She made him see that being HIV positive did not mean that he couldn't still have a future. For that I'll always be grateful to her." she looked over at him.

"He really shut off from everything after what he went through with April. I'm glad he didn't do the same thing after Mimi died."

"Me too." she looked over at him.

"I won't tell him I saw you at the cemetery, but you have to. I think you'll find that he's more over her then you think." he put his arm around her.

"I... I know I should tell him. I never kept anything from him before."

"So why start now?" he asked getting up to clear off the dresser in the corner of the bedroom.

"I guess I shouldn't, huh?" she asked looking over at him.

"You want my advice?" he asked looking over at her.

"Mhm." she nodded getting up from the bed.

"No, you shouldn't. Never underestimate him. He's so in love with you that there is nothing you could tell him that could change that."

"Thanks. I... I guess I need you around just as much as the others do."

"Don't worry sweetheart. I'm here." he wrapped his arms around her in a loving, friendly embrace.

"I'm gonna go talk to Roger. Are you OK in here?" she looked up at him.

"I'm fine, really. I think I remember my way around." he laughed.

"OK sweetie." she left the room. As she walked towards hers and Roger's bedroom, she heard giggling coming from the bathroom. She rolled her eyes as she entered the bedroom. "They're at it in the bathroom again." she smirked looking over at Roger.

"Geez man, I shower and shave in there." he whined looking over at her.

"Well it's nice that Mark's finally having fun, huh?" she laughed looking over at him.

"Ugh, a visual I didn't need." he groaned.

"Roger, I... I have a confession to make. Um I... I didn't run into Collins at the store." she started looking over at him.

"What do you mean? You said that you..." he started when she interrupted him.

"I know what I said. I... I didn't want you to know where I really ran into him. I was afraid it would hurt you and I wanted to protect you." she walked over to him.

"Where did you meet... Oh." he realized where she really was.

"I... I wanted to visit Angel and Mimi and he... he saw me there. I'm sorry I lied to you before. I... I didn't mean it to be a lie." she apologized to him.

"Why didn't you want me to know you visited Angel and Mimi's graves?"

"I don't know. I thought it would hurt you to know that I went there today of all days. I mean, it's Halloween and Angel died..." she started looking up at him.

"I... I was there this morning. I... I go every once in a while when I need to talk to someone who won't talk back." he took her hands in his.

"What did you need to talk to Angel about?" she asked curious.

"Not Angel. Mimi. I... I've been thinking about stuff and I felt like I needed to talk to her about it." he looked down at her.

"Anything I need to know about?" she asked looking up at him.

"Just... the usual stuff I've been thinking about."

"I know you're still in love with her Roger. It's OK if you needed to talk to her about us getting married. I mean... if it wasn't for her..." she stuttered looking up at him.

"I'm not still in love with her James. I... I wanted to talk to her about the baby thing we've been talking about." he interrupted her.

"Roger, the baby thing? We've been over this like a million times. There is no baby thing. I'm not pregnant. I may never be pregnant and I don't want to count on getting pregnant because I don't want to be let down when I can't." she walked away from him to go towards the bed.

"I know that James. I'm just... I just wanted to talk to Mimi about it."

"Why? What could you possibly have to say to your deceased girlfriend regarding your hopes of impregnating the woman you're about to marry?" she looked up at him clearly upset.

"I was asking for help from her. Her and Angel are bound to have an in with the man upstairs. Maybe they can help it happen." he explained sitting next to her.

"You do realize that the man upstairs has nothing to do with whether or not we have a baby, don't you?" she looked over at him.

"No, I guess I don't. James, you were brought up in the church. How can you not have faith in the power of prayer?" he asked looking over at her.

"Because it's not up to him. It's us. All us. And with us using condoms every time we have sex, it's... it's kind of impossible. I wish you wouldn't count my eggs before they hatch." she bolted up from the bed to pace the bedroom, yelling at him.

"Faith James. All I'm saying is, you gotta have a little faith." he got up to go to her, raising his voice in response.

"I can't talk about this Roger. I have to start getting ready for the party." she walked over to the closet to get a towel out.

"We need to talk about this Jami." he looked over at her.

"Roger, can it wait? We should be getting ready for the Halloween party at the bar. You're playing, I have to get ready and we should make it a celebration welcoming Collins home too." she avoided his gaze.

"OK James. Have it your way, but I'm not gonna let this go." he looked over at her.

"I have a feeling that's the understatement of the year." she muttered leaving the bedroom going towards the bathroom. "Come on you two. There are other people in this house than you two." she shouted knocking on the door.

"What's with you?" Maureen asked coming out in her towel as Mark stood in his robe.

"Nothing. I... I just have to get ready for the bar." she snapped squeezing past them shutting the door behind her.

"What's with her?" Maureen asked looking over at Roger, who was standing in the doorway of his and Jami's bedroom.

"Nothing Maureen. We gotta start getting ready for the bar." he answered, going into the bedroom, closing the door behind him. He walked over to the bed and opened the drawer of his nightstand. He picked up the box of condoms and started at it. "Why the hell did I have to act like I was invincible when I was younger?" he asked himself looking at the box. It stated that it was only 85 percent effective against pregnancy. That meant that he and Jami had a 15 percent of having a baby. He liked those odds, but Jami didn't want to talk about it. She didn't think it was realistic for her and Roger to get their hopes up when their chances weren't that great. The knock at the door brought Roger out of his trance. "Yeah." He tossed the box back into the nightstand before calling out.

"Is everything OK Rog?" Collins asked as he entered the bedroom.

"Yeah. Um... James told me where you really met up with her. Thanks for having her back." he looked up at him.

"Dude, I only did it..." he started when Roger interrupted.

"It's OK man, really. I know she didn't mean to lie to me. She was trying to protect my feelings. I can't fault her for that." he reassured him looking up.

"I like her Rog. You... you did real good." he smiled sitting on the bed next to him.

"Thanks, but I have Mark to thank. They worked together and he introduced us." he smiled looking over at him.

"I know, she was telling me. She was also telling me how unrealistic you're being about the baby thing." he looked over at him.

"You heard that, huh?" he asked as Collins nodded. "Well according to her there is no baby thing and there probably never will be." Roger muttered getting up from the bed.

"She wants to have your kid, you know? But she's scared of wanting it too much because it might never happen." he looked across the room at him.

"She told you that?" he asked turning back.

"Yeah. She's just scared that if she says it out loud that it'll never happen and she'll have nothing of you when you're gone."

"I... I know. We fight about it all the time." he acknowledged.

"Um... listen, I don't want to tell you how to run your relationship or anything, beings that I'm new here and all. But maybe you should lay off of that subject for a little while. It's... it's hard for her to think about right now." he advised getting up from the bed.

"You're right. I hate that because of me, we have to use something every time we're together. If we were a normal couple, we'd be able to have unprotected sex whenever we wanted. But I had to go and be stupid when I was younger and now James is paying the price." Roger leaned against the dresser frustrated.

"Roger, how could you have known then that you'd find someone you wanted to have a family with?" he looked at him.

"Who knew I was gonna live long enough to want a family?"

"I know man. Neither one of us knew we'd live long enough to see any of this happen." Collins said putting his hand on Roger's shoulder. Jami stood outside the door in her robe, listening to their conversation.

She took a deep breath before entering the bedroom. "Collins, can... can I talk to Roger for a minute, please?" she asked looking over at them.

"Sure. I'll be in my room getting ready." he smiled turning towards the door. As he passed her, his hand brushed against hers. "Give him a break sweetheart. His heart's in the right place." he whispered before leaning in to kiss her head.

"I promise." she smiled up at him as he left the room.

"I'm sorry James. I..." Roger started walking towards her.

"You have nothing to be sorry about. It's... it's me. I overreacted. I want to have your child Roger. I... I probably want it too much." she confessed looking up at him.

"No Baby, I've... I've been unfair about it. Every time I talk about it, I don't realize how hurtful it is to you that there's only a 15 percent chance that it can happen."

"I'm just afraid that if we want it too much that it'll jinx it and we'll never have our child." tears stung her eyes.

"Listen to me James. If we have a child, we do. If we don't, I'll always love you no matter what."

"I know that. I just don't want to not have a piece of you when you're gone." she looked up at him as tears fell from her eyes.

"You will always have a piece of me when I'm gone. My love will never leave you. I promise you that." he grabbed her shoulders tenderly, leaning down to look into her flooded blue eyes.

"Um, I've... I've been thinking about stuff. How... how about we go to a fertility clinic for that invitro fertilization thing?" she suggested, regaining her composure.

"What, like artificial insemination or something?" he asked confused.

"Um, yeah. Exactly like that. I mean, it would be more effective then waiting for us to have an accident with the condoms." she lifted her hands up to her face to wipe the tears from her face.

"Isn't that supposed to be expensive or something?" he asked lifting his hands up to her face.

"I have my film money. We... we can use that." she suggested looking up into his eyes.

"Are you... are you sure you want to use it for that?" he asked unsure.

"It's the only thing I want to use it for. Having our baby means more to me than anything else ever has. I... want to." she explained.

"OK James. We'll... we'll look into that invitro thing." he smiled bringing her to his chest holding her close to him.

"We better start getting ready. I gotta get my costume on. I'm just pissed that you're performing and you can't dress up." she laughed lightening the mood.

"I'm just good like that." he joked kissing her head.

"You're just lucky you're gonna be the father of my child." she smiled up at him.

"You got that right." he smiled happily.


	26. Chapter 26

Maureen was rushing around the apartment looking for her other high heel boot. She was running late and was supposed to be out of the house 10 minutes ago. She was meeting Jami at the dress shop uptown in 20 minutes and she still had to make it to the subway a few blocks away. She froze in front of the couch and calmly asked herself "If I were a boot, where would I be?"

"If you were a boot, I'd give you away to good will." Roger muttered coming out of his bedroom in his sweat pants and a sweat shirt.

"Very funny. I'm serious. I'm meeting Jami at the bridal shop and I'm gonna be late if I don't find my boot." she complained looking over at him.

"Found it. I don't even want to know why it was in the kitchen." he leaned down picking up the boot and holding it out to her.

"Oh that's right. Me and Mark..." she started when Roger interrupted her.

"Forget it. I said I don't want to know. Just go meet James before I need intensive therapy to get the disturbing images out of my mind." he complained looking over at her disgusted.

"Fine, but it's a funny story actually." she grabbed the boot and quickly put it on.

"I swear to God Maureen. If you say one more word, I'm gonna kill you and donate your body to science. It can join your brain." he sneered at her.

"What the hell's wrong with you? Geez, your fiance finally found a wedding dress. I would think you would be in a better mood these days." she complained.

"Maureen, I eat in this kitchen, shower and shave in the bathroom and sit on that couch. I don't need to worry about you and Mark doing the nasty all over the damn place every time I look around. Why can't you use your bedroom like a normal couple?"

"Oh yeah, like you always used your bedroom to do your business." she propped her hands on her slender hips looking over at him.

"Oh God. I think I just threw up a little in my mouth." he made a face at her.

"Fine, but you're no angel Roger. You never were. You seem to forget that." she snapped at him before turning on her heel and leaving the loft.

"Is it safe?" Collins asked creeping out of his bedroom.

"Chicken shit." Roger chuckled looking over at him.

"When it comes to one of your sparring matches with Maureen, damn right. I swear the only reason it didn't work out with you two was because you're too much a like. You would have killed each other." Collins laughed walking over to the kitchen.

"Apparently she felt like she was kissing her brother when she kissed me. There was no heat or passion." Roger snickered making coffee.

"No heat or passion? Dude, you're a rock star. You have heat and passion dripping out of your pours." Collins laughed looking over at him.

"I know. I've never had that problem with anyone else. But she's a lesbian, what does she know?" he turned. Collins was laying his head on the metal table. "Dude, I wouldn't do that if I were you. I found one of Maureen's boots in here and she implied something that would give you nightmares for life."

"Oh gross. I wish they would use their bed for that shit. Other people do live here." Collins jumped up from the table and rushed over to the sink, wetting a wash cloth to clean the table with.

"I'm gonna need a lifetime of therapy living with those two." he laughed watching him scrub the table.

"Why don't you and Jami get your own place?" he asked looking over at him.

"Jami and Mark need all the time they can get working together and I don't want her to have to get her other job back to pay for it. She needs the time for her writing." he waited for the coffee to brew.

"She's that good, huh?" Collins asked looking over at him.

"She's writing a screenplay about me and I only read the first sentence, but it's really good. I... I can't wait until she's done. She said she'd let me read it when it was done."

"She mentioned something about that. She said she doesn't want you to fade away." he threw the wash cloth into the sink.

"Yeah well, I don't plan on fading away. Not by a long shot." he turned to pour them both coffee.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"We're gonna go to a fertility clinic to get IVF." he smirked handing him a cup.

"Invitro fertilization? Really?" he smiled at him.

"It was Jami's idea. She's gonna use her film money." he sipped his coffee cautiously.

"That's amazing Roger. I'm... I'm happy for you guys." he smiled holding his warm mug in his hand.

"Yeah, she... she mentioned it last week. I don't know why we didn't think of it sooner. I mean, it's expensive, but we really want a child." he sat on the stool setting his coffee mug on the table.

"That's great Rog. When are you gonna do it?" he asked looking up at him.

"Not sure. Probably not until after the wedding. But within the next 2 years, we should have a little one around here." he smiled at him.

"I can't wait. Yours and Jami's kid is gonna be one good looking kid." he smiled at him.

"Yeah. With Jami's eyes and nose and my chin. I can't wait to meet him." Roger got up from the stool opening the refrigerator.

"Or her." Collins pointed out looking over at him.

"I don't care if it's a boy or a girl. All I care about is having a healthy, happy kid."

"And being around long enough to see him grow up." Collins rimmed his cup with his middle finger.

"Yeah, that too." Roger whispered looking down.

"I'm sorry man. I... I just..."

"Don't worry about it. You're not saying anything that me and James haven't thought about already." he took the carton of eggs out of the refrigerator, setting it on the counter next to the stove.

"You know Mark and Maureen are gonna help her get through it." he got up from the table to go to him.

"Yeah. Let's just hope Maureen sticks around this time." Roger muttered looking over at him.

"I think she will. She loves Mark. Plus you see how she is with Jami. They're best friends. I don't believe she would leave them again." he set his hand on his friends shoulder.

"I hope not. Because I don't think Mark can handle himself and Jami. They're... they're gonna need her around to snap them out of it." Roger felt the emotion well up within him.

"Roger..." he started as he felt his friend take a deep breath.

"It'll be OK. I'm just glad it's not gonna be for a while." he tried to take his mind off of the conversation.

"You're young and healthy Roger. There's no reason why you can't watch yours and Jami's kid grow up."

"Angel was young and healthy too, you know?" he looked over at him.

"No, she wasn't. She was sick the day I met her. She just wanted to live her life to the fullest."

"So I guess we're both screwed, huh?" he asked looking over at him.

"No, we're not both screwed. We just gotta live the way she and Mimi taught us to and we'll make our mark on the world. We already have." Collins smiled at him.

"Jami made me what I am. Without her, I... I would still be looking for a band rather than playing in one." he smirked at him.

"Yeah, she's something, isn't she?" Collins smiled at him.

"That she is. And she's gonna be my wife." he smiled.

"You're one lucky son of a bitch Davis. I'm glad you know that."

"I do. I'm lucky that a beautiful, smart woman like James wanted to have anything to do with a guy like me." he smiled at him.

"Yeah, and she's lucky you can cook." Collins laughed looking at the egg carton.

"I like cooking for her. It makes me feel useful. Otherwise, my woman would starve." he laughed at him.

"She may be beautiful, but she's not much of chef, huh?"

"That's OK. I don't mind." he smiled as he began making breakfast.

At the dress shop, Jami was pacing in front, waiting for Maureen to arrive. When she saw her rushing down the street, she ran over to her. "Maureen, where the hell have you been? I left Mark to meet you there. I've been waiting forever."

"I know, I'm sorry. I couldn't find my boots and I got into it with Roger. I'm so sorry." she apologized looking over at her.

"Maureen, I wish you two would stop fighting. It's driving me and Mark crazy." she whined looking over at her, as they walked back to the shop.

"To be fair, he started with me first." she opened the door.

"I swear, I don't know what I'm gonna do with the two of you. You have this sibling rivalry thing going on." Jami complained looking over at her.

"Just think, it's good practice for when you have a kid. After dealing with me and Roger, you'll be prepared for anything a kid can throw at you." she laughed looking over at her.

"And I thought Mark and Roger put me through the ringer."

"See, it's Roger who's the problem child. He's hard to get along with." Maureen pointed out looking over at her.

"He's not hard to get along with. You just know what buttons to push on him." Jami exhaled in frustration.

"OK, fine. I promise I'll cool out with torturing him." Maureen conceded looking over at her.

"That's all I ask. Thank you." Jami smiled at her as the sales woman approached them.

"Anything for you Jami." she smiled looking over at her. Jami tried on her wedding gown, as the dress maker prepared to do the alterations. "You look fabulous in that dress Jami. Your mom was right." Maureen smiled looking over at her.

"Thanks. As much as I hate to say it, my mom has good taste in clothes." Jami stared at herself in the various mirror that surrounded her. This was gonna be the dress she walked towards Roger wearing in the little church in New Jersey where they would become husband and wife. Her hair was swept into a half pony tail and she wasn't wearing any make up. "You know, you and the other girls need to pick out dresses soon. Alterations need to be done and fights need to be broken up." she joked looking over at Maureen.

"Me and Heather decided on off the shoulder dresses. We were thinking baby blue." she looked up at her.

"Baby blue Maureen? Really?" she asked looking over at her.

"Well what color would you choose? Pink?" Maureen asked getting up from the chair to go to her.

"I was thinking maybe lilac or something. It's a spring color and I think you guys would look great in them." she smiled at her.

"Lilac? That... that would actually be a really pretty color."

"Listen, Mrs. Davis is thinking of having my family come for Thanksgiving. Why don't you and Mark come too and all of you girls can get together and pick out dresses?" she suggested.

"That sounds like fun. Um.. Mrs. Cohen isn't exactly my biggest fan since I broke up with Mark the first time. She's not thrilled that we're back together. I doubt I'm gonna be invited to Thanksgiving dinner over there this year." she fidgeted with her hands.

"She'll come around Maureen. You'll see. She just needs to see that you're not gonna break his heart again."

"I know. I just wish she would let Mark live his own life. She hovers way too much. I mean, Mark's almost 30 years old and she talks to him like he's a 4 year old." Maureen complained looking up at her standing on the pedestal in front of the mirrors.

"She's his little boy Maureen. You know how mothers are with their sons."

"Mrs. Davis isn't like that. If Mark ever got a tattoo or his ears pieced, his mom would have a heart attack." Maureen muttered looking over at her.

"Well, you can't change the way she is with him. He's gonna have to put his foot down and tell her that he's a grown man who should be left alone to live his own life."

"But you know he won't. He just screens her calls and ignores her." Maureen folded her arms across her chest.

"But it works for him. It's better than listening to her complain about him living in the city having the passion to pursue his dream rather than doing the safe thing just because she expects it form him." Jami pointed out.

"True." Maureen agreed.

"See. You have nothing to worry about. She may act domineering, but Mark's not having any of that. He's his own man."

"And that bites her ass." Maureen laughed looking over at her.

"I think I'm finished Miss Barnett." the dress maker announced looking up at Jami.

"Thank you." Jami smiled graciously before stepping down and going back into the dressing room to change out of her dress. "So, I was thinking of going out to lunch, just... just you and me." she suggested getting undressed.

"Is everything OK?" Maureen asked pouring through the racks of dresses. Most looked like prom dresses, but she was trying to get ideas for brides maid dresses.

"Yeah, I... I just wanted to hang out. You know, just you and me. Without the boys hanging around." she opened the curtain, her dress draped over her arm.

"Yeah, they are pretty much around all the time, huh?" she smiled looking over at her.

"Yeah, sorry about that. I mean, I work with Mark and me and Roger are together, so it's kind of inevitable, huh?"

"Pretty much, but it's OK. I mean, I like that you and Mark work together. It lets him do what he's meant to do and Roger just loves you so much. He... he may seem like a Neanderthal to anyone looking in, but he... he just wants to make sure that you always know that he loves you." Maureen smiled looking over at her.

"Yeah, I know. It's not that I don't like being with him, because I really do. He's the most wonderful man on the planet. I... I just want to talk to you. Just us girls." she set her dress on the rack next to the dressing room.

"OK. You can buy me lunch and we'll talk." she smiled putting her arm around Jami's shoulder and led her to a diner.

They walked into the diner and took their seats. "So, I feel like a big, fat bacon double cheeseburger and cheezy fries. How about you?" she asked looking at the menu.

"What gives Jami? And don't try to feed me that bullshit story about just wanting to hang out with me without the guys because I'm not buying it. You know I can read you like a book." she smirked leaning on the table.

"I'm pregnant." she whispered smiling over at her.

"You're... but I thought you weren't gonna start the IVF until after the wedding." Maureen asked confused.

"We didn't. But... I... I was late and I took a test this morning before me and Mark went to work. Roger um... Roger doesn't know yet. He got in late last night and I didn't want to wake him up so early." she explained.

"That's great Jami, but why are you telling me first and not Roger? He is the father, right?" Maureen teased looking over at her.

"Of course he's the father Maureen." she burst out laughing. "I... I don't know how to tell him. I mean, you know how much he wants this and he's gonna be really excited. I guess, I just wanted to enjoy it calmly before the insanity." she laughed.

"Good point. He's gonna be crazy happy. I can get away with a lot of shit with him." she sat back in the booth, rubbing her hands together.

"Well I'm glad my child and I could be of some service to you." Jami laughed looking over at her.

"No, this is a good thing. Roger and I got into it this morning about me and Mark doing it in the kitchen. I can..."

"You and Mark did it in my kitchen? Maureen, I eat in there." Jami whined looking up at her.

"What? You guys weren't home. Collins was at a Life Support meeting, so we took advantage of the privacy." Maureen asked casually.

"We really need to lay down some ground rules for you and Mark. Such as, no sex anywhere in the apartment this is outside your bedroom. Other people do live there." she laughed looking over at him.

"OK fine. I guess since we're gonna have a baby in the loft in 9 months, we should be acting like responsible adults." Maureen smiled looking over at her.

"Thank you. That's all I ask." Jami smiled looking over at her.

"Wow. You're gonna be a mom. That's amazing news." she smiled at her.

"It is kind of amazing, huh?" she smiled excitedly.

"Roger's gonna burst, you do realize that, right?" she laughed looking over at her.

"I think that would be preferable. I have a feeling he's gonna be insane." she laughed drinking her water.

"Well congratulations Jami. You and Roger deserve this. You're gonna have a beautiful baby." Maureen held her water glass up to her in a toast.

"Thanks." Jami smiled taking a sip of her water.


	27. Chapter 27

Jami and Maureen approached the building laughing. They were talking about seeing Roger, Mark and Collins changing diapers and doing 3 am feedings. "How are you gonna tell him?" Maureen asked looking over at her.

"I... I don't know. How do you think I should tell him?" she asked looking over at her.

"I don't care how you tell him, but just make sure it's where I can see him. I can't wait to see his reaction." Maureen laughed looking over at her.

"Gee thanks. You're no help."

"Sorry, I just know however he finds out, it's gonna be hysterical." she laughed opening the door.

"Fine. I'm just gonna go in there and tell him. Like a band aid. All at once." she climbed the stairs to enter the building.

"I think that's best. You know he hates when you beat around the bush." she looked over at her.

"Good point." she climbed the stairs, butterflies filling her stomach. She couldn't wait to tell Roger that she was pregnant with their child. By accident. An accident they both wanted to happen.

"Ready?" Maureen asked looking over at her, hearing the guitar playing through the door.

"Yeah, I'm... I'm ready." Jami smiled as Maureen opened the door.

"Hey Baby. How did it go at the dress shop?" he asked looking up from his guitar.

"I'm pregnant." she blurted out as Maureen stood by to stand witness.

"But... you... you only went to the dress shop to get your dress fitted? Right?" he stuttered confused.

"Roger, I was pregnant before I got to the dress shop." she laughed looking over at him.

"When?" he asked getting up from the couch.

"I found out this morning. I was late and I took a test. You... you were sleeping, I... I didn't want to wake you." she smiled looking up at him.

"So we're... by accident?" he affirmed flabbergasted at the news.

"Mhm. How... how do you feel?" she nodded looking up into his gorgeous, vibrant green eyes.

"Like the luckiest son of a bitch on the planet." he threw his arms around her, sweeping her into his arms.

"Language Roger. The baby is gonna be able to hear you. Even in here." she laughed wrapping her arms around him.

"Baby. Oh man, we're... we're having a baby." he picked her up kissing her head over and over again.

"Yep. We're having a baby."

"Oh my God. What about your dress? It's not gonna fit you for long. Not with a baby growing inside of you. You'll be like 6 months pregnant by spring." Maureen called out looking over at them.

"It can be altered to fit around my belly. I... I spoke to the dress maker. She said it wouldn't be a problem." Jami smiled at her.

"Oh good." Maureen put her hand over her chest in relief.

"Your mom. She's gonna freak out, isn't she?" Roger asked putting her down.

"Maybe, maybe not. I'm gonna have to talk to her." she said looking up at him.

"We can tell everyone on Thanksgiving. They're all gonna be at my moms anyway." Roger suggested looking over at her.

"How do you think everyone will take the news?" Jami asked holding onto his arms.

"I'd say they'll think it's something else to be thankful for." Maureen smiled looking over at them.

"I'd say she's right." Roger leaned down kissing Jami's head.

"We have to celebrate. Something big." Maureen suggested looking over at them. They looked happier than she's ever seen them.

"Can... can you just tell Mark and Collins that we're going out to eat? I... I kind of want to go for a walk with Roger." Jami asked looking over at Maureen.

"Sure, no problem. I won't tell them a thing. I swear." she smiled at them.

"Thanks. And Maureen..." Jami smiled looking over at her.

"Don't even Jami. What are friends for?" she smiled over at her.

"We'll see you at the cafe." Jami smiled reaching out for Roger's hand leading him out of the loft.

"Are we going where I think we're going?" he asked following her.

"Yeah. I... I think we should be the ones to tell Angel and Mimi." she smiled back at him as they exited the building.

"Why didn't you tell me that you suspected that you were pregnant?" he asked holding her hand tight.

"Think about it Roger. You had just stopped talking about us getting pregnant by accident and less than a month later, I'm late with my period and I'm never late. I just thought that it would be better if I took the test alone. You know, just in case it was negative. At least you weren't gonna be disappointed." she looked up at him.

"I would not have been disappointed James." he looked down at her.

"Roger, you forget. I'm marrying you. I know you pretty well." she looked up at him accusatory.

"OK, I... I would have been disappointed, but I love you. We were planning on doing the IVF after the wedding. We would have had a baby eventually." he smiled looking down at her.

"I know, but you can't tell me that if you were in the bathroom with me this morning, that you wouldn't have been freaking out waiting for the test to be positive." she stopped him in the middle of the sidewalk.

"OK, so? What's the big deal? We want to have a baby, right?" he asked looking down at her.

"Yes Roger, we do. But I was nervous enough. I didn't need you pacing around, stalking the test stick." she looked up at him.

"What if it came up negative? Would you have even told me that you suspected that you were pregnant?" he asked looking into her eyes.

"Of course I would have Roger. I would never keep that from you. I just kind of needed to do it on my own. Maureen didn't even know until I told her at lunch."

"You told Maureen before you told me?" he asked surprised.

"I needed to tell someone or I was gonna burst. I know you didn't get home until late last night, so I didn't want to wake you up. I... I wanted you to be alert when I told you the news." she lifted her hands up to caress his face.

"Well, I guess I'm glad that you and Maureen are becoming such good friends." he smiled leaning down to kiss her.

"I kind of invited Maureen and Mark to your moms for Thanksgiving too." she looked up at him cautiously.

"Is there anything else you want to tell me since you have me wrapped around your little finger?" he smiled down at her.

"No, I think that just about covers it." she laughed looking up at him.

"OK, because I want to be able to help name our baby, OK?" he laughed looking down at her.

"Deal." she smiled wrapping her arms around his waist, snuggling in to his chest.

"Come on. We have to meet up with Mark and Collins to tell them about the baby." he leaned down to kiss her head holding her in his arms.

"You're right. I have two very special people to talk to." she smiled looking up at him as they walked to the cemetery. As they reached the gate, Roger looked down at Jami. She was clutching the back of his jacket with one hand as the other found it's way to her flat belly. She looked up at him.

"Are you OK?" he asked looked down at her.

"Um... yeah. I'm fine. I'm ready." she looked up at him as they approached the graves of two friends that Jami never met. Standing in front of the graves, Jami knelt down and started playing with the grass that was all over the ground. "Um... hi Angel. Do... do you remember me? I... I was here with Collins a little while ago. Um... I'm... I'm Jami. I'm with Roger. We're... we're getting married and Mimi, um... we're... we're having a baby. I just found out this morning. I... I wanted to come and tell you guys myself." she smiled looking at the gravestones.

"Thank you. I know you two had something to do with it. I... I guess it pays to have friends in high places, huh?" Roger knelt behind Jami wrapping his arms around her shoulders.

"I... I promise I'll take care of Roger and our baby." Jami vowed looking up at Roger before looking back at the gravestones.

"And I'll take care of James." Roger smiled kissing Jami's head.

"Come on. We... we have to go to tell Mark and Collins about the baby." she smiled at Roger before getting up off of the ground.

"OK Baby." Roger smiled wrapping his arm around her waist, leading her out of the cemetery. As they walked towards the Life Cafe, Roger smiled down at her frequently.

"What are you staring at?" she asked smiling at him.

"The woman I'm marrying who's pregnant with my child." he boasted looking down at her.

"I knew you were gonna be insane as soon as I told you about the baby." she laughed looking up at him.

"I'm happy. James, I never thought I wanted to have a family. Since I was younger, all I cared about was my music and making it big. Then I met you. I wanted everything with you and now I have it. I'm gonna have a wife and I'm gonna be a father. I'm the happiest man in the universe." he stopped her in the middle of the sidewalk to quietly explain to her.

"I... I'm sorry I didn't have faith in you. You believed in Mimi and Angel's influence, but I didn't listen. I... I can't believe I'm actually pregnant." she looked into his green eyes.

"Well you are, so now we have to take you to the doctor and get you on vitamins and take care of you and this little one. We also have to get you tested." he leaned down to kiss her has he cupped her face in his strong hands.

"Everything is gonna be fine Roger. You gotta just believe." she smiled looking up at him.

"I do believe. I believe in our love and the magical things it can do." he smiled staring into her beautiful blue eyes.

"You always said I deserved magical things to happen to me." she gloated tilting her head to the right, blocking the late afternoon sun.

"That you do Baby." he kissed her again before they continued their journey to the cafe. As they entered the cafe they noticed Mark, Maureen and Collins laughing at a table.

"There's our child's family." Jami smiled looking over at them.

"Yep. Sure is." he smiled as they walked over to them.

"What's the matter, pretty boy? Don't feel like cooking today?" Collins asked looking up at Roger.

"I was thinking that it wouldn't be fair for him to have to cook dinner right after he found out he was gonna be a father." Jami smiled looking down at them.

"You're... we're... a baby? How?" Mark asked looking up at her.

"The usual way." Jami laughed looking down at him.

"You know what I mean? How? You didn't start the IVF yet, did you?" he asked concerned.

"No Mark. It just happened." Roger answered, a little frustrated.

"I'm... I'm sorry. I... I just... I'm really happy for you two. You deserve this. I just... didn't expect this." he said getting up to congratulate them.

"I understand Mark. Really I do, but I'll be fine. I'm gonna go to the doctor and get vitamins and an HIV test. Everything's gonna be fine. I promise." she was understanding to his concerns and appreciated it.

"I know everything's gonna be fine. You're in good hands." he smiled looking up at Roger. "Congratulations man. I'm... I'm really happy for you both." he walked closer to hug his best friend.

"Thanks. I'm gonna need you to take care of them for me." he whispered.

"Don't worry. I... I will." he answered quietly so no one else heard him.

"Come on. I need to eat. I'm starving." Jami smiled sitting at the table with Collins and Maureen.

"You had a huge greasy burger and cheezy fries at lunch today. How could you be starving?" Maureen asked looking over at her.

"I'm pregnant Maureen. I need to eat to keep up my strength." she looked over at her.

"I can't believe you're pregnant. This is great news." Collins smiled hugging her.

"Yeah, it is pretty great, huh?" she smiled as Roger and Mark sat down at the table.

"Dinner's on me. I can't have you guys paying for dinner the night you find out you're gonna be parents." Collins laughed looking over at them.

"But we invited you out." Jami protested looking up at him.

"Nonsense. It's on me."

"How are you paying for dinner? You're broke." Roger asked putting his arm on the back of Jami's chair.

"I got a job." he looked over at him.

"Where are you working?" Jami asked curiously.

"Wait a minute? Would telling us make us accessories to a crime?" Roger teased looking over at him.

"No wiseass. It wouldn't make you an accessory to a crime. Besides, you wouldn't do well in prison. You're too pretty." Collins commented drinking his stoli.

"Yeah, I don't think you'd do well in prison Baby." Jami laughed looking up at him.

"Gee thanks James. I appreciate the fact that my fiance and the mother of my child doesn't think I'm man enough to make it in jail." he chuckled sitting back in the chair.

"Not that you're not man enough, it's just that you're..."

"Destined to be someone's bitch." Maureen interrupted before drinking her beer.

"Thanks a lot." Roger laughed. The group continued to laugh and celebrate the new life that would soon be entering their family. When they finally returned to the loft it was nearly 11 pm. Jami was exhausted, Mark, Maureen and Collins were a little tipsy and Roger was still on top of the world.

"I'm gonna turn in. It's been a long day. Are you coming?" Jami asked looking over at Roger.

"Yeah, I'm coming Baby." he smiled at her before looking over at the others. "We'll see you guys in the morning."

"See you in the morning. Congratulations you two. We're really happy for you." Collins smiled at them going towards his room.

"Thanks Collins. That means a lot." Jami smiled before going into hers and Roger's bedroom.

"See you guys tomorrow." Roger smiled following her.

"Can you believe we're pregnant?" Jami asked looking over at Roger as she got changed for bed.

"It's amazing. I hate to say it, but..." he started taking the condom box out of the nightstand looking at the writing.

"You told me so. I know. 15 percent chance." she laughed, sauntering over to him.

"15 percent chance. We beat those odds, didn't we?" he smiled over at her.

"Don't get cocky Davis. Mama's not crazy about cocky." she threw her arms around his neck pulling him in for a kiss.

"Anything mama wants, I'll make sure she gets." he swept her in his arms before taking her to bed.


	28. Chapter 28

The next morning, Jami woke up early not feeling well. Her stomach was queezy and she felt like she was gonna throw up. "Oh lord, not already." she groaned to herself bolting out of bed and rushing to the bathroom. She just made it to the toilet before throwing up. "Oh my God, this is gonna be a long 9 months." she muttered trying to regain her composure.

"Are you OK?" Roger was standing in the doorway of the bathroom, concerned.

"Yeah, just morning sickness kicking in." she groaned looking up at him.

"I'm sorry Baby." he apologized kneeling next to her.

"It's OK. It's a small price to pay to have your child." she gave him a weak smile.

"I wish there was something I could do." he reached out to take her hand.

"You did. You had the fun part. Now it's mama's turn." she smiled, leaning against the wall.

"You're gonna make a great mama, James. I know it." he smiled lifting his other hand to caress her face.

"I have a great partner." she smiled at him.

"Are you OK now?" he asked looking over at her.

"I think so." she said quietly looking up at him.

"Come on. Why don't you lay down for a little while? We'll go to the doctor when you get up." he smiled helping her up.

"OK. I'm still a bit tired." she grabbed onto him, getting up.

"I was thinking about something I want to run by you." he smiled down at her as they returned to their bedroom.

"What's that Baby?"

"I was thinking about turning Benny's old room into a nursery. I mean, it's right next to our room and no one's using it." he looked down at her as she got into the bed, snuggling under the covers.

"That's a good idea. We can fix it up a bit until we find out what we're having and then you, Collins and Mark can paint. You can make it a boy's project." she laughed looking over at him as he climbed into bed next to her.

"And I suppose you and Maureen will be shopping for our little one?" he asked smiling down at her.

"Of course. You can't expect the mother of your child to paint, can you?" she smiled at him.

"Of course not. Me, Mark and Collins would be happy to paint the baby's room." he leaned down kissing her head.

"I thought you would." she smiled leaning her head on his chest, falling asleep.

Later that morning, Jami woke up alone. She could hear Roger whistling in the kitchen. The smell of eggs, bacon and toast filling the loft. She crept out of bed and shuffled out into the main room. "Good morning Baby. Did you sleep well?" he asked looking over at her.

"Yeah, I did. Did you call the clinic?" she asked going over to the metal table and sitting down.

"Yeah, they can fit us in at noon. I thought I'd make breakfast before we went." he smiled looking over at her.

"Mmm, that sounds good. I'm starving." she watched him as he cooked.

"How's your morning sickness?" he asked looking over at her.

"I'm not nauseous anymore. Not now anyway." she smiled up at him.

"Well, that's good, isn't it?" he asked setting a plate of eggs and bacon in front of her.

"Yeah, I read that it could last up to like 6 months into the pregnancy, so at this point, I'll take what I can get." she laughed digging into her breakfast.

"6 months? Are you serious?" he asked looking over at her in disbelief.

"Mhm. I mean, I hope it won't, but it could happen." she told him as she ate her eggs.

"Is that normal?" he asked looking over at her.

"Yeah Roger, it is. But every pregnancy is different. Don't worry so much." she set down her fork and reached out for his hand as he leaned on the counter.

"I can't help it. I worry about my girl." he smiled taking her hand into his.

"I know and I appreciate it." she smiled before going back to eating her breakfast. "These are really good. What did you do different?" she asked looking up at him.

"I put a touch of onion powder in them. I wanted to try something new." he smiled leaning his elbows on the counter to watch her eat.

"Well they came out great." she smiled.

"I'm glad." he stood up straighter to dish out his own breakfast. He sat across from her and ate. He had coffee while he set a glass of orange juice in front of her. "Do you and Mark have any filming to do today?" he asked looking over at her.

"No, I took the day off to go to the doctor." she told him before picking up a strip of bacon and taking a bite.

"Maybe we can go look at some baby furniture or something." he suggested putting a fork full of eggs into his mouth.

"Roger, we just found out I was pregnant yesterday. Don't you think it's too soon to be looking at furniture?" she laughed looking over at him.

"Maybe you're right. We have plenty of time to do that. But I do want to clean out that bedroom. It's full of crap and junk we've accumulated over the years." he suggested.

"And dust. We can't have a baby sleeping in there with all the dust in there." she smirked over at him.

"That's why you're the mama." he laughed looking over at her.

"God, you two are so domestic." Collins laughed coming out of his room.

"Good morning sweetie. Do you want some breakfast? Roger made plenty." Jami smiled looking back at him.

"I would love some breakfast." he smiled walking over to them.

"It's really good. He put onion powder in the eggs." Jami boasted looking up at him as he stood next to her.

"If Roger cooked like this before you came along, I would never have left. I like how domestic he's gotten." he laughed sitting next to her.

"Yeah well, someone's gotta cook for my wife to be who's carrying my child." Roger retorted, laughing.

"Sorry Baby. My mom tried to teach me how to cook, but it didn't take. I nearly burned down the kitchen." she laughed looking up at him as she continued eating.

"Was that you I heard in the bathroom earlier?" Collins asked looking over at her.

"Yeah. Morning sickness sucks."

"It'll be OK sweetheart. It's normal." he reassured her.

"Yeah I know. I'll be OK. It's a small price to pay." she smiled looking up at him.

"When do you go to the doctor?" he asked looking over at her.

"Later. Roger made an appointment for noon. Then we want to clean out Benny's old room. We want to turn it into the nursery since it's the room closest to mine and Roger's." she smiled looking towards him.

"That sounds like a great idea. If you need help, let me know. I know a lot of my crap is in there too." he laughed looking over at her.

"We're all gonna be in there working. We've been using that room as a junk room for too long." Roger set a plate in front of Collins.

"Don't worry man. We're all for the little one now." Collins smiled as he started eating. "Mmm, these are really awesome." he smiled eating the eggs.

"Thanks. I guess James inspires me." he smiled watching them eat. "I'm gonna go start getting ready for the doctor. I'll only be a few minutes." he came from behind the counter, going towards the bathroom.

"Leaving us to clean up. Thanks a lot man. I appreciate that." Collins laughed looked back at him.

"That's OK. I'll wash, you can dry." Jami smiled up at him.

"Deal sweetheart." he smiled as they got up to clean up.

"What about Mark and Maureen?" Jami asked looking up at him.

"They left earlier. Mark wanted to get some shots for the film and Maureen tagged along." Collins told her as she turned on the water.

"I feel so bad. I haven't been much of a partner for him lately, have I?" she asked looking over at him.

"You did the writing. Let Mark do the filming. It's what he does best." he smiled reassuringly to her.

"I know, but in the beginning, I was helping a lot more. But ever since me and Roger got together, I've... I've been slacking off. A lot." she looked up at him.

"They want you to be able to finish your story about Roger. It means a lot to all of us." he smiled as she handed him dishes that needed to be dried.

"It means a lot to me too, but I'm afraid I'm blocked. That's why I was at the cemetery that day we met. I haven't been able to write a word in over a month." she confessed washing the dishes slowly.

"You have writers block? Does Roger know?" he asked looking over at her.

"No. And neither does anyone else. I... I was hoping it would go away, but now it's even worse. I don't know what to do." she looked up at him. He could see the fear in her eyes.

"What part are you stuck on?" he asked.

"His April time. I... I don't know how to write about someone I don't know."

"He's your fiance and the father of your child. You know him." Collins leaned on the counter next to the sink.

"No, I really don't. He's a different person with me than he was then. You said it yourself a million times." she looked up at him.

"He is different with you, but you've seen him in Mark's films." he pointed out to her.

"But I don't know who that guy is. I only know my Roger. The Roger who's sweet, affectionate, responsible. The Roger who cooks me breakfast every morning and sings me songs. I only saw how he was, not who he was." she turned the water off to dry her hands.

"Don't think so much about who he was. Just see how far he came." he smiled down at her.

"Gee thanks. You're a big help." she chuckled looking up at him.

"No problem sweetheart. Anything I can do to help my favorite girl." he laughed wrapping his arms around her, bringing her into an embrace.

"Your favorite girl, huh?" she asked looking up at him.

"Just don't tell Maureen. She thinks she's my favorite." he joked.

"My lips are sealed." she smiled hugging him back as the bathroom door opened.

"Hands off my woman Collins. Get your own. Oh, wait a minute. You're gay." Roger joked from the bathroom doorway wearing nothing but a towel.

"You know I'd never take your woman Rog. My soft spot is for you." Collins teased as Jami laughed, nestled in Collins' arms.

"No way man. I'm off the market. I'm gonna be a married man soon." Roger laughed, exiting the bathroom, going towards his bedroom.

"You two are demented." she laughed looking up at him.

"Just think about the fun your kid is gonna have growing up with us crazy sons of bitches around."

"Oh yeah. His life will be anything but boring." she laughed as he let her go.

"Don't you forget it." he smiled down at her.

"I better start getting ready for the doctor. We gotta make sure this little one is OK, right?" she smiled up at him.

"And you sweetheart. That's the most important thing." he smiled.

"I know." she smiled going into her bedroom. "You two are hysterical. I'm glad he came home." she smiled at her fiance.

"Me too. I would have hated for you not to have had the chance to get to know him." he smiled at her as he got dressed.

"Baby, I... I have writer's block." she confessed going to the closet for her towel.

"What do you mean you have writer's block?" he asked looking over at her.

"With your story. I... I haven't written a word in over a month."

"But you've been writing constantly." he walked over to her.

"And it's all been crap. I... I'm at the April part of your life and I don't know how to write it because I don't know who you were then." she looked up at him as he stood before her, shirtless in his boxers.

"I was really different back then." he told her quietly.

"I know. That's why I can't write it. Later, can you tell me about it? Everything?" she asked looking up at him.

"Sure Baby. If that's what you need me to do, I'll do it." he gave her a weak smiled before leaning down to kiss her.

"Thank you. I... I know it's not gonna be easy, but I really do need it for my story."

"I know James. Now you have to start getting ready for the doctor. We don't want to be late for our first prenatal appointment, do we?" he asked smiling at her.

"I guess not." she smiled walking towards the door.

"Baby." he called out looking over at her.

"I love you too Roger." she smiled not turning around before leaving the room.


	29. Chapter 29

Roger and Jami went to the doctor and found out that they were due in July. Jami sighed thinking that it was gonna be a long summer with her being pregnant through half of it. But she was still happy to be pregnant with Roger's child. The doctor took blood to test for anemia and HIV. Roger insisted on it. He didn't want to take any risks with Jami's life or the life of their baby. They walked through the park on their way home from the doctor and sat on a bench, watching the little kids play. It was November, but it was mild. Their mothers and nanny's sat and watched as they climbed on the jungle gym. "Can you just picture our child playing over there?" he asked holding her in his arms.

"No, but I can imagine you playing over there." she laughed looking up at him.

"Yeah, me too. I'm gonna be the best father I can be for our baby James. I promise you that." he smiled looking down at her.

"I know Roger. You had a good role model." she smiled looking back at the kids playing.

"I really did. My dad was awesome. He taught me, Chris, Heather and Dougie how to play basket ball and he used to help us build forts in the living room. My mom hated it when he helped us make a mess. She used to yell at him all the time." he laughed thinking back at his childhood fondly.

"I'm glad you had such a cool dad. Mine spend half my life not knowing what do do with me and wishing I was a boy and the other half grooming me to be someone's wife and mother." she told him quietly.

"I'm so sorry about that James. You deserved to be seen."

"I am. By the most wonderful man in the world." she leaned up to kiss him tenderly.

"I love you Jami. I... I never imagined I'd love anyone like I love you, but..." he started.

"I know Roger. Me... me too." she whispered kissing him again.

"Our kid is gonna hate us, you know." he joked.

"Why's that?" she asked curious.

"Us being all kissy face all the time is gonna get real old, real quick." he laughed.

"Oh my God, yeah. He's gonna be so embarrassed when he's in high..." she started before she stopped abruptly.

"It's OK James, I plan on living a long, prosperous life with you and our child. And you know me. I'm just stubborn enough to do it." he took her face in his hands.

"I... I know Roger. I just... I'm sorry. I guess I..."

"Wish you had more time. I know Baby. Me too. But we have it right now." he smiled kissing her head.

"I guess we should take it while we have it, right?"

"Yep." he agreed as they redirected their attention back to the kids playing.

"Roger tell me about April. What were you like with her?" she asked looking up at him.

"I was different. Fucked up. Not who you know." he answered somberly.

"Did you love her?" she asked looking up at him.

"I think I could have. If we weren't both so fucked up on smack I might have. But I didn't get the chance to know her and she never got the chance to know me." he answered openly.

"What was it about her that drew you to her?" she asked, shifting on the bench to face him.

"Truth?" he asked looking into her beautiful blue eyes as she nodded. "She was beautiful and so full of life. Maureen thought she was just a groupie, but she was more than that. She had this... life to her. It's hard to describe. But I saw a side of her I don't think she let anyone else see."

"What do you mean?" she asked enthralled by what he was telling her.

"I don't know. I mean, she was a great singer, but she hated to have anyone look at her when she was singing. When she'd sing along to the radio, she made me look at the ground or something because she said it made her nervous when she was being watched." he laughed lightly thinking about it.

"What else?" she asked looking up at him.

"Well, she liked to draw. She was an amazing artist. She even drew me more than once. I... I have some of her pictures in my closet somewhere. I'll show them to you if you want. They're real good." he offered looking down at her.

"I'd... I'd like that. Um... where is she buried?" she asked.

"In Pennsylvania. She... she was from the Amish country. She came to New York when she was 16 to experience the outside world before she committed to that lifestyle. They called it something, but I don't remember what. When she got into smack and she couldn't go back. When she died, her family brought her back to be buried there." he told her quietly.

"Really? I... I never would have guessed that."

"Yeah, she... she said that everyone does it. Most people go back, but after being here, she couldn't imagine going back and getting married just to have a boat load of kids with no freedom to be who she was."

"I guess she and I had more in common than I thought, huh?"

"Yeah, I... I guess so." he caressed her hair as they talked.

"Who was the real Roger Davis back then?" she asked changing the subject.

"At first, I was this stupid kid who thought that record producers hung out in dive bars to find talent and I'd get discovered. Then I was this strung out mess who had to be propped up when it was time to go on. It wasn't pretty James." he admitted to her.

"Who were you at the Pyramid Club when I saw you?" she asked.

"The stupid kid. I wanted to be a rock star, so I acted like it, you know? Not Axel Rose or anything. More like Jon Bon Jovi. Getting up there and giving it my all for the audience, and for me." he smiled down at her.

"I... I think I started falling for that guy at first." she whispered looking up into his green eyes.

"I wish I knew James. I really do. Things would have been so different." he caressed her face.

"Me too." she whispered looking up at him.

"Hey, you and this baby is my second chance, remember? It doesn't matter who I was back then. All that matters is who I am now with you. Without all those mistakes I wouldn't be who I am now. The best man I can be for you and our kid." he looked down at her.

"You are the best man in the world Roger. You're kind, gentle, an amazing cook and you make sure that not a moment goes by without you telling me how much you love me. I always know I'm loved." she smiled looking up at him.

"I was never the kind of guy who let anyone see who I really was. Not even Mimi. I held back a lot when I was with her. But you, I... I never felt like I had to hide from you. I always wanted to be myself with you. Even when I didn't know who that was, I knew you were gonna be the one who would be there when I did. James, I finally found who I really am." he confessed looking down at her.

"Who's that?" she asked clearing her throat of her emotions.

"Your husband and this little one's father. That's what I was always meant to be. And I'm gonna spend the rest of my life being the best husband and father I can be. No matter what." he reached up, cupping her face in his strong hands.

"You're more than a husband and a father Roger. You're everything." she whispered, tears filling her eyes.

"No, you're everything Jami. I'm who I am because of you." he smiled leaning in to kiss her.

"Can... can we go home now? I'm a little tired." she asked looking over at him.

"Sure Baby. We can do that." he took her hand as they left the park. They walked quietly to the loft as Roger looked down at Jami every once in a while. They entered the building and walked up to the loft. No one was home, so they retired into their bedroom and lay on the bed, relaxing. Jami soon fell asleep. Roger lay there staring down at Jami. He couldn't believe that this woman, who gave him a second chance was carrying his child. He heard the door to the loft open and gently slithered out of bed. When he got out into the living room, he shushed everyone. "James is taking a nap." he whispered looking over at them.

"How did her doctor's appointment go?" Maureen asked dropping her purse next to the door.

"It went good. They did a blood test to test for HIV and anemia. We have the same blood type so that's not a problem and he said that she's probably due towards the end of July." he answered looking over at them.

"Why is you being the same blood type not gonna be a problem?" Mark asked looking over at him.

"If I have a different blood type, the baby could be different and they would have to give her medication to make sure it doesn't put her in danger. But that happens with all pregnant women." he walked over to sit on the couch.

"End of July, huh? She's gonna be raging by June." Collins laughed looking over at him.

"Yeah, but we just have to be understanding. It's not gonna be easy carrying all that extra weight in the middle of the summer." he looked up at him.

"When did she lay down?" Maureen asked going into the kitchen for a glass of water.

"A little while ago. We stopped off at the park on the way home from the doctor to watch the kids in the playground and we got to talking." he smiled looking back at them.

"Oh? What names did you come up with?" Collins smiled at him.

"We weren't talking about baby names. We... we were talking about April. Actually, how I was when I was with her." he answered looking over at him.

"Why would you take her there? She doesn't belong there." Maureen asked storming into the living room.

"She asked Maureen. I don't want to have any secrets from her." he looked up at her.

"Yeah but, what good does it do for her to hear about how messed up you were back then? Or to hear about April?" she asked standing in front of him with her hands on her hips.

"She's writing about me Maureen. It would help her to know how I was and to see how far I've come since those days." he explained looking up at her.

"Yeah well, I don't understand why you need to tell her what a mess you were before you met her. That guy has no place in her life." she ranted walking away from her.

"You're right Maureen. That guy doesn't belong anywhere near her, but she needed to know him for her story. It's important to her." he got up to go after her.

"Yeah Roger, I get it. But I knew that guy and I hated him. I couldn't wait for that guy to leave." she yelled looking up at him.

"Yeah well, you left quick enough didn't you?" he yelled as Mark cut in.

"Guys, Jami's sleeping. You know how she hates when you two fight." he approached them.

"He's right. I don't want James to come out here screaming about how immature we are, fighting all the time." Roger lowered his voice walking away from her.

"I'm... I'm sorry Roger. It's just... Jami's my friend. I don't want to see her hurt." she turned to look over at him.

"Yeah, I get it Maureen, but I'm not gonna hurt her." he turned to her.

"I know you're not gonna but... the guy you were would have in a heartbeat."

"I'm not him anymore Maureen. When am I gonna prove that to you?" he asked her.

"You already have Roger. I'm... I'm just afraid that you talking about how you were then is gonna bring back all those screwed up memories." she looked over at him as Jami opened her bedroom door.

"Are you two fighting again? Jesus, what am I gonna have to do, shoot you with a water gun like fighting cats?" she asked coming out of her bedroom.

"No Baby, we're not fighting. Just talking real loud. How did you sleep?" Roger asked walking over to her.

"I was sleeping fine until I got woken up by World War 3."

"We're... we're sorry Jami. Do you want something to eat?" Maureen asked looking over at her.

"Maureen, I... I heard you yelling at Roger for telling me about how he was before me." Jami looked over at her.

"I'm... I'm sorry Jami, really. I just don't think he should have told you about how he was with April." she walked over to her.

"Maureen, I asked him to tell me. I had to know so I could get the full story. Don't be mad at him." she looked over at her friend.

"I'm not mad at him Jami, I just don't want you to be exposed to who he was before you. He wasn't the great guy he is with you."

"I appreciate your concern, but it's unnecessary. I know he wasn't himself. I just needed to be able to write his story accurately. I hope you understand." she looked over at her.

"I do understand. I'm... I'm sorry I started a fight with Roger over it."

"That's OK. I know you can't help yourself." Jami smiled at her as the women hugged.

"Yeah well, you know me." Maureen laughed hugging her back.


	30. Chapter 30

It was the Wednesday before Thanksgiving. Roger, Jami, Mark, Maureen and Collins arrived at the Davis home early in the evening. Mrs. Davis set up Chris' room for Mark and Maureen and Collins was to sleep in the spare bedroom on the first floor. Roger and Jami were tempted to tell everyone about the pregnancy, but knew it was wise to hold off until The Barnett's arrived the next day. Mrs. Davis made dinner and everyone ate and drank wine and beer. All except Jami. She told Mrs. Davis that she wasn't in a mood to drink, so she would stick to iced tea. They sat around talking about the wedding, as Collins pumped Chris, Heather and Doug for stories about Roger when he was younger.

After a long night, Roger and Jami decided to turn in. The went up to Roger's room, shutting the door behind them. "Do you think anyone knows?" Jami whispered looking up at Roger as he walked towards the bed.

"I don't think so. I think my mom bought your story about not feeling like drinking." he answered quietly, knowing that it was probably not likely that Heather was eavesdropping again.

"Good. I was so nervous when she broke out the cocktails. I thought I'd have to drink to keep it from her." she sat on the bed relieved.

"Me too. Remember how much you packed away the last time we were here?" he smiled reaching into their bag for her pajamas.

"We were hanging out at a karaoke bar. What did you expect me to do? I was having fun." she defended looking up at him.

"And I can't wait to tell our child how awesome his mommy was up on that stage." he smiled sitting next to her.

"I was terrible. You were the one was awesome. Singing Bruce Springsteen and 80's hair band stuff with your brothers and your cousins. Our child is gonna be so proud of his rock star daddy." she threw her arms around his neck.

"I'm not a rock star James. I'm just a guy who's OK at writing and singing his own songs to the woman he loves." he whispered looking into her eyes.

"You're more than OK Baby." she smiled up at him before yawning.

"You tired Baby?" he asked, lifting his hand to caress her hair.

"A bit. It's been a long day and I have a feeling tomorrow is gonna be even more insane." she conceded before leaning in to him.

"Yeah, I have a feeling the Barnett family is gonna take over." he laughed kissing her head.

"Yeah, you may be right." she tilted her head up to look at him.

"Why don't you get changed? I'm gonna go use he bathroom." he smiled leaning down to kiss her.

"OK Baby." she reluctantly removed herself from his embrace. He got up and left the room, shutting the door behind him. She began getting changed for bed, when she felt a twinge in the right side of her abdomen. She set her hand on her side and took a deep breath. When the twinge subsided, she got up and got changed into her pink pajama pants and an old t-shirt of Roger's before pulling the quilt down and nestling under the covers.

Roger was on his way to the bathroom when Heather startled him. "Is Jami in bed already?" she asked standing in the doorway of her bedroom.

"Jesus Heather. Do you have to sneak up on people?" he called out looking over at her.

"Sorry, I wanted to hang out with Jami for a little while before you and her got all gross." she smiled with her arms folded in front of her.

"Yeah well, she's tired and we do not get all gross." he retorted looking over at her.

"Roger, you look like a growth the way you hang on her all the time. " she walked towards him.

"She's my fiance Heather. What am I supposed to do, ignore her so she can play with you?" he laughed looking over at her.

"No, but you can let someone else in this family hang out with her. She's gonna be my sister, you know?"

"Yeah well, I have a feeling you'll have plenty of time to hang out with her tomorrow while everyone's here." he smirked at her.

"Why's that? Do you plan on hanging out with her brothers all day or something?" she looked over at him.

"No, but her nephews monopolize all my time." he laughed.

"Oh? How many nephews does she have?" she asked looking over at him.

"A lot. And the last time I was there, they were all over me." he smiled at her.

"Well they know a big kid when they see one. Plus you're so great with little kids. I can't wait to see you with yours and Jami's kid. You're gonna be a great dad." she smiled at him.

"I hope so. Do you remember how dad was with us?" he asked looking over at her.

"Yeah, he used to read to me and do all the funny voices for the characters in the books." she smiled remembering their father.

"He used to get in more trouble with mom than we did sometimes." he laughed leaning against the wall.

"Oh yeah. Mom used to yell at dad all the time for letting you guys mess up the living room." she laughed.

"I always worried that I wouldn't be as good as dad was, you know?" he asked.

"Nah, you're gonna be great Roger. You're the one who's most like dad. He'd be really proud of you and you know he'd so love Jami. She's really good for you." she smiled at him.

"Oh yeah, he'd be real proud of the fact that his son is an HIV positive ex junkie." he snorted folding his arms across his chest.

"Roger, you know dad wouldn't have cared about that part. All he would care about is the fact that you're happy now." she moved closer to her brother, putting her hand on his arm.

"But we don't know that Heath. He's not here. He could have been really pissed at me for the way I fucked up my life. I'm gonna die young, just like he did." he told her quietly.

"Roger..." she started when he interrupted her.

"It's OK sis. I'm sorry. I... I have to start getting ready for bed. Jami's probably sleeping already." he shook off his regret standing up straight.

"Is she OK? She looked really tired after dinner." Jami asked looking over a him.

"Yeah Heather. She's fine. I promise." he smiled before going into the bathroom. When he returned to his bedroom, he was right. Jami was fast asleep. Laying on her side, with her hand on her flat stomach. He slipped into bed next to her, wrapping his arms around her before falling asleep as well.

The next morning, Jami woke up at 7:30 while Roger snored quietly next to her. She got up and used the bathroom before going downstairs where she heard Mrs. Davis puttering around in the kitchen. "Good morning Mrs. Davis." she smiled from the doorway, noticing a couple of turkey's sitting on the counter.

"Good morning James. Did you sleep well?" she looked up and smiled at her future daughter in law.

"Yes thank you. Roger's still snoring upstairs." Jami smiled as she walked towards the counter.

"So why are you up so early? No one's supposed to be here until later." she asked taking a break from preparing dinner.

"Couldn't sleep anymore. Um... do you want any help?" she asked looking around.

"Nah, I'm doing pretty good so far. Just thought I'd get a jump on things." she smiled before sipping her coffee. "There's coffee on if you want some." she offered looking over at her.

"It's OK Mrs. Davis. I'm OK for now." she told her trying to cover the fact that she can't drink coffee anymore.

"You know, you're marrying my son, I think it's safe for you to call me mom. That is, if you're comfortable with it." Mrs. Davis smiled at her.

"I... I think I'd like that. I call my mother mama, so I don't think it would cause any confusion." she laughed looking over at her.

"Good. I wouldn't want your mother to be upset over you calling me mom." she smiled at her.

"Mama likes you. She keeps saying that I got lucky to have a mother in law so cool." Jami laughed looking over at her.

"We're the lucky one's sweetie." Mrs. Davis smiled before going back to cutting vegetables.

"Mrs. Davis, can... can I ask you something?" she asked looking over at her.

"Sure sweetie, what is it?" she smiled up at her.

"Do you think Mr. Davis would have been mad at Roger for being positive?" she asked looking over at her.

"That's a tough one sweetie. I mean, he wouldn't have been happy about it, but he would have liked the fact that you came into his life." she answered unsure.

"I know you're not happy about it, but you don't dwell on it like moms do sometimes." she commented.

"Jami, Roger's my son and I love him with all my heart. But in my opinion, what's done is done. All that matters is now. He's getting married to an amazing girl who loves him like he deserves to be loved. For the first time since his diagnosis, he has a future. I'm not in denial. I know I'm gonna lose my son, but he brought you into my life and this is your home now too. Never forget that." Mrs. Davis got emotional talking to Jami.

"I know Mrs... um... mom. Thank you." Jami held back her own tears.

"I'm sorry sweetie. I... I shouldn't be talking like this. It's Thanksgiving. We have plenty to be thankful for this year." Mrs. Davis wiped the tears that had fallen from her eyes.

"Yeah, we... we have a lot to be thankful for." Jami smiled thinking about the baby growing inside of her. Roger's baby. "I'm... I'm gonna go wake Roger up." she stuttered going over to the coffee maker to make Roger a cup.

"Don't forget your own coffee sweetie. It's gonna be a big day. You're gonna need the caffeine." Mrs. Davis went back to preparing Thanksgiving dinner.

"Right. It may be calm now, but once the Barnett's arrive, it's gonna be crazy." she laughed pouring another cup of coffee. She made it the way Roger liked it, so she could pass it on to him upstairs. "Um.. do you want me to have Roger wake Doug up?" she asked looking over at her.

"No, let him sleep. I'm not gonna be making a huge breakfast this morning." she told her.

"Aww, I was looking forward to a nice Davis breakfast." she whined looking over at her.

"James, it's Thanksgiving. You have to save room for the main course." she laughed looking over at her.

"OK, I guess you're right." she groaned before going upstairs to wake Roger up. She opened the door and smiled at her fiance, who was smiling in his sleep. Thinking about being a father, no doubt. She crept over to him and set the coffee mugs on the nightstand before sitting on the bed and staring at him. He began to stir before opening his eyes and noticing his fiance looking at him.

"How long have you been up?" he groaned as he stretched.

"Not long. Your mom is downstairs preparing dinner already." she smiled down at him.

"No breakfast, huh?" he asked rolling over to face her.

"No and I'm kind of disappointed. I'm starving to death." she pouted looking down at him.

"I'll make you something if you want." he offered sitting up in the bed.

"My Baby is so good to me." she smiled leaning over to kiss him.

"Anything for my girl." he smiled reaching over for the coffee mug. "Which one is mine?" he asked, not wanting to drink Jami's sweet coffee.

"They're both yours. Pregnant, remember. I can't drink coffee." she smiled quietly setting her hands on her flat stomach.

"Oh, right. Sorry." he laughed looking over at her as he picked up the coffee cup and drank.

"That's OK. I can sacrifice for the baby, but I'm gonna be struggling later when my family gets here." she laughed looking over at him.

"I'm gonna need both of these for when your nephews get here." he laughed looking up at her.

"That's what I was thinking. Hopefully Chris and Doug can pick up some of the slack for you." she smiled down at him.

"Yeah, maybe. I mean, they look like me, so why not, right?" he sipped his coffee slowly.

"Somehow, I don't think that's gonna fool them. They really like you." she smiled at him.

"I really like them too. They're cool kids." he smiled at her.

"Do you want a boy or girl?" she asked looking over at him.

"It doesn't matter. As long as he or she is happy and healthy and has mama's beautiful blue eyes, I'll be happy with whatever we get." he leaned over setting his coffee mug on the nightstand before moving closer to her.

"Oh man. A girl with blue eyes like me would be trouble for you Mr. Davis." she giggled looking up at him.

"That's OK. I don't mind." he smiled leaning down to kiss Jami.

"I'm starving." she groaned looking up into his green eyes.

"I'll get up and make your breakfast. I wouldn't want my beautiful fiance and child starving to death." he smiled caressing her face.

"Mmm, I'd love that." she smiled looking up at him.

"Why don't you go in the shower before Heather gets up? She takes forever and you'll get nothing but cold water." he smiled at her.

"OK. I'll be down in a little while." she smiled as he left the room. Suddenly felt another twinge in her abdomen. She set her hand on the area. "Dammit." she whispered looking down at her belly before getting up and going into the shower.


	31. Chapter 31

It was 2 o'clock when the Barnett family stormed into Hackensack, NJ. Mrs. Davis and Mrs. Barnett were in the kitchen preparing the feast while Roger and Doug played with the boys in the backyard. Jami and Heather sat with Maureen and Jami's sisters in law drinking apple cider, while Chris hung out with Jami's brothers, Mark and Collins. Roger would flash Jami loving glances as the boys wrestled with Doug and Roger played catch with TJ. "You have a lot of nephews." Heather smiled at Jami as she enjoyed the view.

"Yeah, and they all love Roger." she smiled watching them.

"It's good practice. He's gonna need it when you have your child?" Maureen smiled over at her.

"Yeah, I guess." she smirked, catching Maureen's hint.

"Dinner's almost ready." Mrs. Davis called out through the back door.

"Come on boys. You gotta get cleaned up." Michelle called out as Jami got up from the chair. She felt a familiar twinge in her side and took a deep breath before Roger approached her.

"Are you OK Baby?" he asked looking down at her.

"Yeah, just... just a little twinge. I'm fine." she whispered looking up at him.

"Are you in pain?" he asked quietly.

"No, it's probably the baby. I'll be OK." she smiled up at him as they went into the house. Everyone was gathered at the numerous tables that were set up in the dining room and living room. Roger smiled, looking down at Jami as she gave him a confident smile.

"Everyone, I... I want to... I want to say the first blessing." he stood up holding a glass of apple cider. Everyone directed their attention to Roger as Jami smiled up at him.

"If everyone's gonna be saying a blessing, we're gonna be here a while." Chris complained looking over at Collins who was nodding.

"Christopher, hush. Your brother is talking." Mrs. Davis smiled looking up at Roger. "Go ahead dear." she smiled at him.

"Thanks mom. Um... I want to thank everyone for coming all the way to Jersey for what I hope will be the first family holiday we all spend together." he smiled as he set his hand on top of Jami's and curled his around hers. "Jami and I are really happy that you can all be here together so we can tell you all that we're having a baby. Jami's pregnant." he announced smiling down at Jami.

"James Frances? Is this true?" Mrs. Barnett asked looking over at her daughter.

"Yes... yes mama, it is." Jami told her quietly.

"That's wonderful, but how? I thought..." she started when Chris interrupted her.

"No offense Mrs. B, but eww. Too much information." he called out as Jami bowed her head to hide the fact that she was laughing.

"Mama, it just happened." she smiled slightly surprised at her mother's reaction.

"That's incredible..." Aidan started when Heather interrupted her.

"Your dress? What's gonna happen with your dress?" she asked looking over at Maureen who seemed uncharacteristically calm.

"They're taking it out. It'll be fine." Jami smiled at her.

"Oh good." she took a sigh of relief. "You knew and didn't tell me." she blurted out pointing at Maureen.

"I was sworn to secrecy. I wanted to tell you, but..." she started when Chris interrupted her.

"Maureen, you're not gonna win this, so just say your sorry so we can all eat." he looked over at her.

"Sorry Heather." she smiled looking around at all the food on the table.

"Great. Now, can we eat?" Chris asked looking up at his mother.

"Mom, are you OK?" Roger asked looking over at his mother, who had yet to say anything about their announcement.

"Um... yeah... I... I'm gonna be a grandmother." she smiled looking over at them.

"Welcome to the club Ginger." Mrs. Barnett laughed looking over at her.

"What about..." she started when Jami interrupted her.

"I was tested. I'm negative. Everything is fine." she reassured her as Roger squeezed her hand.

"This is wonderful. Wonderful news." she smiled at her son and her soon to be daughter in law.

"Yeah, it really is." Roger smiled at Jami as everyone else congratulated them before eating their Thanksgiving dinner. The families laughed and told stories. Mrs. Davis and Mrs. Barnett talked about the grandchild they would share. Mrs. Barnett was hoping for a girl and Mrs. Davis just hoped for a happy, healthy child with 10 fingers, 10 toes and his father's chin.

It was after 9 when the Barnett's left. Everyone in the Davis house sat around the living room, winding down from their day. "Can you believe mom's reaction? I thought she was gonna faint right there at the table." Chris laughed looking over at Roger and Jami as he drank his beer.

"What? I was surprised. I wasn't expecting this announcement for a while." Mrs. Davis laughed drinking her wine.

"That's OK ma. I was just glad that Mrs. Barnett took it well. I was afraid she wasn't gonna take it well." Roger smiled looking down at Jami.

"She did take it well, didn't she? I... I kind of expected her to freak out since we're not married yet." Jami tilted her head up to look at Roger.

"Yeah, me too. I... I guess she's not as old fashioned as you thought she was." he smiled down at her.

"Or maybe she just realizes that with your HIV, we have to take what we can get." she looked into his green eyes.

"Yeah, I guess." he caressed her hair as she yawned. "Are you ready for bed Baby?" he asked looking down at her.

"Yeah, it's been a long day and since I can't drink anything with caffeine in it, I'm wiped out." she smiled up at him.

"I thought you had a cup of coffee this morning. You made two and brought it upstairs." Mrs. Davis wondered looking over at her.

"I drank them." Roger raised his hand in the air.

"Both of them?" Mrs. Davis asked looking over at him.

"Yeah. Jami's pregnant and I figured with the boys here, I'd need my energy. They are a handful." Roger laughed looking over at them.

"And they love you. Especially TJ." Collins smiled at him.

"Yeah well, they have the same IQ." Maureen remarked as Heather laughed out loud.

"I was just gonna say that." she laughed holding her palm up to high five Maureen.

"Screw off Maureen." Roger growled at her.

"Hey, what did I tell you two about the digs at one another. I swear, you two are worse than children." Jami complained sitting up straight.

"Hey, just think James. You need the practice." Mark smiled at her trying to lighten he mood.

"Yeah, if I was having sextuplets." she snapped before getting up and going into the kitchen.

"What's with her?" Doug asked looking over at Roger.

"She's pregnant, you jerk. She's got hormones." he told his brother quietly before getting up and following Jami into the kitchen. "Baby, we're sorry. Me and Maureen were just playing around."

"You and Maureen are always at each other's throats. We can't have one day without you guys stabbing each other?" she yelled looking back at him as she leaned over the counter. The twinge was back.

"James, are you OK?" he rushed over to her, seeing that there was something off.

"Yeah, just a little twinge. It's... it's normal. The baby is growing, that's all." she looked up at him.

"Who... who said it was normal?" he asked standing over her.

"The pregnancy books I bought. I'll... I'll be OK." she looked up at him before taking a deep breath.

"Are you bleeding?" he asked.

"No, I'm not." she looked up at him.

"How do you know? Have you checked?" he asked getting worked up.

"Yes Roger, I've checked. I'm not naïve." she looked up at him.

"How long has this been going on James?" he asked looking down at her.

"Just since last night. It goes away." she stood up straight as the twinge went away.

"This afternoon wasn't the first time?" he asked surprised.

"Roger, it's fine. You can't freak out every time I experience something new. You're gonna be driving me crazy for the next 7 and a half months." she looked up at him, going to the sink for a glass of water.

"I worry about you and the baby. I'm not gonna apologize for caring about my wife and child." he raised his voice at her.

"I'm not asking you to apologize. I'm just saying, if you worry about everything, this pregnancy is gonna be hell on both of us." she looked back at him.

"I just don't want anything to happen to you and the baby." he walked over to her.

"You can't always protect us Roger. You would have to have super powers or something."

"I'll do whatever I have to do to make sure nothing happens to you and our child. No matter what it is." he insisted looking down at her.

"I'm fine Roger. Mimi and Angel would never let anything happen to me or the baby. Not after everything you've been through." she looked up at him.

"I'm sorry I'm being an over protective jerk." he apologized to her.

"No you're not, but thanks for trying." she wrapped her arms around his waist holding him close.

"I just want to be able to stop all the bad things in the world from happening." he leaned down to kiss her head.

"But you can't Roger. Just like I can't stop HIV from coursing through your veins." she whispered fighting her tears.

"I know Baby." he whispered as everyone eavesdropped from he living room. Mrs. Davis dabbed her tears.

"They'll be OK mom. They're just under a lot of stress." Heather wrapped her arms around her mother's shoulders for comfort.

"I know." she whispered hugging her daughter.

"Come on. Maybe we should all go to bed. I'm sure they could use some privacy." Collins suggested looking over at Mrs. Davis.

"I think that's a good idea." Chris smiled as he got up to leave. "I'll see you tomorrow ma." he kissed his mother's head before leaving the house.

"OK sweetheart." Mrs. Davis said quietly. "I hate that this is so hard on them." she looked over at Maureen and Mark.

"Yeah, in addition to the normal happenings of pregnancy, they have to worry about her testing positive." Maureen said looking over at her.

"They can handle it mom. With a love like theirs, it'll carry them through." Heather looked over at her mother.

"Yeah, I just hate that they're struggling so much. I wish there was something I could do." she looked over at her.

"Roger can handle it ma." Doug looked over at his mother.

"But he's not a superhero Douglas. He can't fix everything." she retorted before getting up and going upstairs. Eventually everyone else followed suit.


	32. Chapter 32

The next morning, Mrs. Davis made a huge breakfast for everyone. They all decided to have a relaxing day. Mrs. Davis puttered around the house, while Roger worked on Chris' car with him in the driveway. Mark and Maureen decided to go home early, so they could spend some quiet time alone while Collins and Doug played video games. Heather and Jami went out for a walk together around the neighborhood. "Is everything OK with you and Roger?" Heather asked looking over at her.

"Yeah, he just worries too much about every twinge and it's driving me crazy." she looked over at her.

"He just loves you so much Jami. He doesn't want anything to happen to you or the baby." she defended her brother.

"I know. He means well, but does he have to be so over protective?" she asked.

"Think about what he's been through Jami. Happiness is not something he's used to." she looked up at her.

"Yeah, I... I know." she spoke quietly as she shoved her hands into her pockets and they continued to walk in silence.

"Have you guys thought of names yet?" Heather asked breaking the silence.

"We haven't talked about it, but I was thinking Eric Roger for a boy." she answered looking down at her.

"After dad?" Heather asked looking up at her.

"Yeah, I... I know how close Roger was to your dad." she smiled.

"Roger would really like that." Heather smiled at her as they walked back home.

"Yeah, I... I want him to be able to leave his mark." she looked down at her.

"He will Jami. Yours and Roger's love will leave it's mark on everyone who knows you." she smiled as they walked up the driveway where Roger and Chris were leaning down under the hood of Chris' Mustang.

"I love watching him with you guys. He's so comfortable." she smiled at Heather.

"Yeah, sometimes I wish they weren't so comfortable." Heather laughed as Roger looked up and say Jami walking towards them.

"There's my girl. Did you have a nice walk?" he rushing over to her.

"Yeah, it was productive." she smiled looking over at Heather who was going into the house.

"What's that mean?" he asked confused.

"I... I've been thinking about names for the baby and I wanted to run one by you." she looked up at him.

"OK, shoot."he smiled down at her.

"Eric Roger for a boy." she smiled up at him.

"Eric, after my dad?" he asked.

"Mhm. What do you think?" she asked looking up at him.

"I think it's great Baby. I love it." he smiled leaning down to kiss her head.

"Well, now that that's settled, I'm... I'm gonna go inside and rest for a little while. That walk took a lot out of me." she looked up at him.

"I'm gonna be a little while out here, but I'll be in when I'm done."

"Don't worry about it. Take your time. Maybe he'll let you drive it later." she laughed looking up at him.

"Yeah, I think I almost got him worn down." he laughed looking down at her.

"Well have fun and be careful, OK?" she laughed leaning up to kiss him.

"Always. I have a wife and child to worry about." he smiled leaning down to kiss her. "I love you."

"I love you too Roger." she smiled going into the house. She entered the living room where Doug and Collins were yelling at each other playing a video game.

"Dude, you can't go there." Doug yelled looking over at Collins.

"Why not? The door's open." he asked looking over at him.

"But it doesn't go anywhere, see." he pointed out as Collins ran into a wall.

"Oh shit. Then why's the door open?" he asked turning around and leaving the room.

"Because there were weapons in there, but I got them already." he nudged him as they continued their game.

"Can you boys try to keep it down? I want to take a nap." she asked looking over at them.

"Sure thing sweetheart. Have a good nap." Collins smiled looking up at her.

"Yeah, have a good nap Jami." Doug smiled before directing his attention back to the game. Jami climbed the stairs and went into Roger's room. She closed the door and walked over to lie on the bed. Her head hit the pillow and she fell right to sleep.

About an hour later, she woke up with a stabbing pain in the right side of her abdomen. It was in the same spot as the twinges she'd been experiencing. "Oh. Oh no." she called out. The pain was so bad, she let out a loud screech.

Mrs. Davis and Heather rushed to see what was going on. "Jami sweetie, are you OK?" Mrs. Davis asked rushing over to the bed.

"No, I'm in pain." she cried clutching her side. "My... my side. It hurts."

"I'm gonna go get Roger." Heather said rushing out of the room and down the stairs.

"What's happening?" she cried as she gripped Mrs. Davis' hand.

"I don't know sweetie. We gotta get you to a doctor right away. Can you get up?" she asked holding on to her as Roger rushed into the room.

"I don't know." she cried looking towards the door. "Roger." she called out looking at her fiance. His face was filled with worry.

"What happened Baby?" he asked leaning over Jami.

"It hurts. I don't know what's happening." she cried looking up at him.

"Roger, we have to get her to the hospital, right away." Mrs. Davis said looking up at him.

"Yeah, I... I got her. Get the car." he instructed as he swept her into his arms.

"Am I losing the baby?" she asked wrapping her arms tightly around him.

"I... I don't know Baby, but I'm gonna take care of you." he whispered as he carried her down the stairs and into Mrs. Davis' car.

"What's happening?" Chris asked standing at the foot of the stairs.

"We're taking Jami to the hospital." Roger told him somberly as he left the house.

"Is something wrong with the baby?" Doug asked looking over at Heather. He, Chris, and Collins stood by helplessly as Heather jumped into the car with Roger, Jami and her mother to go to the hospital.

"We don't know Doug, that's why we're taking her to the hospital." she answered annoyed. "I'll... I'll call you guys when we know something. Call Mrs. Barnett and Mark and Maureen." she said calmer shutting the car door as Mrs. Davis drove off. Roger and Jami in the backseat. Roger holding Jami tightly in his arms as she sobbed in pain.

"I don't know what's happening Roger." she cried holding her abdomen.

"Me neither, but I'm gonna do everything I can to make sure you're OK." he vowed looking down at her.

"What about the baby Roger?" she cried looking up at him.

"Our main concern is you sweetie. We're gonna make sure you're OK first." Mrs. Davis cut in noticing Roger's loss for words in the rear view mirror as they pulled into the emergency room of the hospital.

"I'm gonna take her in. You guys park the car." Roger told his mother and sister as he helped Jami out of the minivan.

"OK, we'll meet you guys in there." Heather gave him a half smile as he closed the back door and slowly brought Jami into the hospital. He checked her in and they took her right back. Roger had to wait in the waiting room as the doctor examined her. He paced back and forth in front of the nurses station as his mother and sister sat in chairs waiting to hear word on Jami's condition.

"Roger Davis." a nurse called out as Roger perked up.

"Yeah, that's me. How is she?" he asked rushing over to her.

"You can go in now. The doctor is gonna want to talk to both of you." she looked up at him as she led him into Jami's room.

"What's going on James?" he asked looking over at Jami. He could tell she had been crying.

"Mr. Davis, what Miss Barnett has is an ectopic pregnancy. That means that the fertilized egg is in her fallopian tube. The right one actually. We need to surgically remove the egg from her tube before it ruptures." he explained as Roger stood next to Jami who was sobbing quietly.

"What about the baby?" he asked clearing his throat, regaining his bearings.

"The baby is in her fallopian tubes. It's... it's not viable. We'll need to remove it. Mr. Davis, if it ruptures it could lead to serious blood loss. It's life threatening to Miss Barnett." he looked over at Roger.

"Do it. Do the surgery." Roger told him.

"Would I... would I be able to get pregnant again?" she asked breaking her silence.

"There is no reason why this will effect your chances of having a successful pregnancy." he affirmed looking over at her.

"Oh... OK, um... do... do the surgery." she told him quietly looking up at Roger.

"I'll book an operating room." the doctor told them before leaving the room.

"How did this happen Roger? How could I not have really been pregnant? How could this happen?" she cried looking up at him.

"I... I don't now James. I just don't know." he whispered kneeling down next to her bed.

"I... I wanted to name him Eric Roger after you and your father." she cried leaning into him.

"I know. I know Baby. We can try again." he whispered holding her to his shoulder.

"Can... can we not talk about trying again please? Not right now anyway." he pleaded crying into his shoulder.

"OK Baby. I'm... I'm sorry." he apologized kissing her head as she cried, holding back his own tears. The doctor came back into the room to take Jami up to the surgical floor. "I'll be there when you get out. I promise. Mine is the first mug you're gonna see when you wake up." he looked down at her.

"I'm scared." she whispered looking up at him.

"Me too, but you'll be OK. I'll be there when you get out." he kissing her head again as the orderlies took her out of the room.

"She'll be fine Mr. Davis. Why don't you go up to the surgical waiting room? I'll come out when we're done." the doctor said looking over at Roger.

"Thank you doctor. Um... take care of her, OK? She's... she's my life. My... my everything." he looked at the doctor before leaving the room to inform his mother and Heather on Jami's diagnosis. They were standing by the nurses station when he come out. They noticed Jami being wheeled to the elevator.

"What's going on Roger?" Mrs. Davis asked as he came out of the room. His face was solemn.

"The... the baby is in her fallopian tubes. It's called an... an ectopic pregnancy. She's going into surgery to remove the egg from her tube before it ruptures." he explained trying to stay calm.

"I'm so sorry Roger. Is... is she gonna be OK?" Heather asked looking up at him.

"Yeah, um... yeah physically she is." he whispered before breaking down.

"Roger, I'm so sorry." Mrs. Davis tried to hold back her tears, but found it impossible as she threw her arms around her second child.

"Why is this happening mom? This morning we... we were having a baby. We were gonna name him Eric after dad." he cried, his body shaking as he held on to his mother.

"I don't know Roger. I wish I could take this all away. For the both of you. But you need to concentrate on Jami right now and physically she's gonna be OK, but emotionally... she's gonna need us Roger. You especially." she insisted pulling back to look her son in the eyes.

"I know ma. You're right. I... I have to be strong for James." he agreed wiping the tears from his face violently.

"Is she... is she gonna be able to... you know, get pregnant again?" Heather asked trying to regain her composure.

"Yeah, the... the doctor said..." he started before taking a deep breath, fighting more tears. "But she doesn't want to talk about it right now." he sighed looking down at his sister.

"Of course not Roger. She needs to heal from this. She'll be ready eventually. She just can't think about that right now. Give her time." Mrs. Davis looked up at him.

"I will mom. I'll do anything for her. She means everything to me." he whispered looking down at her.

"I know sweetheart. I know." she wrapped her arms around him again.

"I'm... I'm gonna call the house and tell the guys that she's gonna be OK." Heather said abruptly leaving to go to the pay phones in the waiting room.

"I'm gonna go up to the surgical floor. I... I promised James I'd be there when she woke up." Roger pulled back from his mother, taking a deep breath.

"Why don't we wait for your sister, so we can go with you? You shouldn't be alone right now." she looked up at him.

"No offense mom, but I... I wouldn't be much company right now." he looked down at her, running his fingers through his short blond hair.

"Roger, you don't have to deal with this on your own. We're here. We'll always be here when you or Jami need us." she reassured putting her hand on his arm.

"I know ma, but I really need to be able to be there for James and I... I just need some time alone right now. I'm sorry." he whispered.

"I love you Roger. You and James." she welled up with emotion looking up at her son.

"We love you too mom. You should go home and call Mrs. Barnett. She's gonna need you to tell her what's going on so she doesn't worry about." he looked down at her.

"OK Roger. I'll do whatever you need me to do. I take it you'll be staying here tonight." she said as he nodded.

"I... I don't want to leave her."

"I understand. Just get some rest, OK? Make sure you eat something too. I'll send Chris with your medication and a change of clothes." she looked up at him.

"Thanks ma. I... I appreciate that." he smiled weakly before saying goodbye to his mother and going upstairs to the surgical ward.

Mrs. Davis walked towards Heather, who was still on the phone. She had her back towards her, but she could tell her daughter was crying. She put her hand on her shoulder as she turned around. "Where's... where's Roger?" she asked trying to stop her tears.

"He's upstairs waiting for Jami to come out of surgery." she answered fighting her own emotions.

"I gotta go. I'll call you later." she told the person on the other line before hanging up. "Did he tell you where he'll be?" she asked turning to her mother, wiping her tears on her sweatshirt.

"He wants us to go home. Who were you on the phone with?" she looked over at her.

"Nobody." she covered before changing the subject. "We're not staying with him?"

"He needs time alone." she looked over at her.

"Mom he shouldn't be alone right now. He needs us." she argued looking over at her mother.

"I know, but it's what he wants. We have to respect his wishes."

"How could this happen to them mom?" she asked crying again.

"I don't know sweetie, but we have to believe that they're gonna get through this together." she took her daughter in her arms.

"They really wanted this baby ma. Jami wanted to name it Eric Roger is it was a boy." she cried into her mother's shoulder.

"That would have been nice." she whispered crying with her daughter.


	33. Chapter 33

Upstairs, Roger sat in the waiting room, anxious to hear word on Jami's condition. He leaned forward on his knees with his head in his hands. He fought back tears with every moment that passed. "How could this be happening?" he asked himself, thinking about how happy he was when Jami blurted out that she was pregnant the previous week. Tears welled up in his throat as the doctor came out to talk to him about Jami. "Mr. Davis?" the doctor called out as Roger bolted up.

"Yes." he answered rushing towards him.

"Mr. Davis, Miss Barnett is doing fine. There was minimal damage to her fallopian tubes, so she will be able to become pregnant again in the future." he explained.

"How... how did this happen? I mean, is it anything that we did to..." he started, but unable to finish.

"There was a narrowing of her fallopian tubes making the fertilized egg unable to make the journey to her uterus. Although there is a possibility of a future ectopic pregnancy, we widened her fallopian tubes so she will be able to become pregnant and there is no reason why she can't carry a successful pregnancy to term. She's gonna be OK." he explained.

"Can I see her?" he asked anxious.

"She's still in recovery, but you can sit with her, and when we get her to her room, I'll arrange it so you can stay with her tonight. I'm sure she would like to have you there with her." he put his hand on Roger's arm.

"Thank you. Thank you very much." Roger reached out to shake the doctors hand as the doctor led him to the recovery room. Jami was still out from the anesthesia. She looked so peaceful.

"She's just out from the anesthesia, but she should be waking up soon. Why don't you go sit with her?" the doctor whispered seeing Roger gazing at his fiance.

"Thank you." he answered quietly before walking slowly towards Jami's bed. He quietly dragged a chair over to her bed and sat down. He reached out for her soft hand, grasping it gently in his. He lifted it to his lips kissing it. "I love you James Frances Barnett." he whispered, knowing she couldn't hear him, but he knew she could feel it. He stared at her belly, which was as flat as it had been hours earlier, imagining the baby that would have expanded it to a beautiful round shape. He leaned his elbows on the bed lifting his hand to gently sweep a stray hair from her face then caressing her cheek with his thumb. As he stared up at her, he noticed her eyes fluttering. As her eyes slowly opened, he smiled at her. "Hey." he whispered looking into her beautiful blue eyes.

"Hey." she answered somberly. Her voice hoarse from the anesthesia.

"You're gonna be OK. The doctor said that we can try again when you're ready." he reassured her.

"That's... that's good." she whispered as tears streamed out of her eyes and down the side of her face.

"Everything is gonna be OK James. I... I promise." he lifted his hand to caress the tears away.

"I'm sorry. I... I'm sorry." she cried apologizing.

"Hey, you have nothing to be sorry about. You didn't do anything wrong. You could never do anything wrong." he leaned up to kiss her head, sitting on the side of the bed.

"Roger, I was pregnant this morning and now I'm not. How could I have not done anything wrong?" she cried as he leaned down trying to comfort his fiance.

"James, I know you. I know you didn't do anything wrong." he whispered holding her head to him.

"Where's... where's your mother and Heather?" she asked trying to regain her composure.

"I sent them home. I... I didn't know how long you'd be in surgery and I didn't want them just sitting around going crazy with worry about you." he looked down at her.

"When they bring me to my room, you should go home too. At least to eat and get some sleep." she said looking up at him.

"No way James, I'm staying here with you." he insisted looking down at her.

"Roger, you need to take care of yourself." she looked up at him.

"I'm a little busy taking care of you right now." he looked up at her.

"And what about your meds? You can't skip a dose." she began getting upset.

"Baby, don't worry. I'm having Chris bring me my meds. I... I want to stay with you. The doctor said it would be OK." he caressed her face, trying to calm her.

"OK, I... I don't want anything happening to you Roger. If... if anything happened to you.... I..." she started as tears filled her eyes.

"I'm not gonna let anything happen to me. You mean too much to me to leave you any time soon." he leaned down collecting her into his arms.

"Nothing can happen to you Roger. Do you understand me? Nothing." she cried into his strong chest.

"I'll do everything I can James, I promise." he held her in his arms caressing her blond hair.

"You better, because I can't take the thought of losing you too." she looked up at him.

"OK Baby. It'll be OK. Everything is gonna be OK." he whispered looking down at her. "Why don't you get some rest?" he suggested looking down at her.

"Um... OK." she agreed reluctantly. She had to admit, she was still tired from the anesthesia, but didn't want to sleep. She wanted to stay with Roger. She wanted to continue feeling him holding her. She didn't want to be alone, thinking about the child she just lost.

"I'm not going anywhere James. You're stuck with me. I'm not leaving you." he reassured kissing her head.

"I... I know Roger." she looked up at him as he gently lay her back on the hospital bed.

"I love you James. I always have and I always will." he whispered caressing her face before getting up from the bed and standing over her.

"I know Roger. I've always known." her reply was weak as she let out a weak smile and closed her eyes, falling fast asleep. He took his seat next to her bed, watching her breathing even out as she slept.

"Mr. Davis? There's someone here to see you. He says he's your brother." the nurse whispered standing behind him.

"Thank you." he whispered getting up quietly and looked down at Jami before leaving the room. When he got out into the hallway, Chris was pacing around. His hands were shoved in his pockets. He looked up, noticing Roger walking towards him.

"Hey bro, how is she? Is she gonna be OK?" he asked rushing towards his younger brother.

"She's gonna be fine, thanks. Um... you got my meds?" he asked looking over at him.

"Yeah man. Mom asked me to bring them up. I also brought some clothes she picked out for you and Jami. She told me to tell you to make sure that you got some rest. You'll be no good to anyone if you're in the bed next to her." he leaned down to pick up the duffel bag at his feet.

"You sound like James." he smirked reaching out for the bag.

"She's a good woman, man. You're lucky to have her looking after your sorry ass. I'm... I'm sorry this happened to you guys. I know how much you wanted this baby." he apologized looking over at him.

"Yeah, but we... we can try again." he stuttered looking up at him.

"I don't think it's such a good idea to bring it up to her so soon Rog. I mean, she was really excited at the prospect of having your child. This is quite a blow." Chris advised looking over at his brother.

"Yeah, I... I get it. I guess it was too easy, you know? Her getting pregnant despite the... you know, I guess it was all too good to be true." he looked up at him.

"Roger, you two will get your happy ending. You gotta believe that." he put his hand on his brother's shoulder.

"Yeah, I... I know. Thanks man. I appreciate you coming." he looked up at him. "Did... did you guys call the Barnett's and Mark and Maureen?" he asked.

"Yeah, Mrs. Barnett will be here later and Mark and Maureen said they'd stay home and do damage control. You know, get the baby stuff out of the apartment. I think Maureen's afraid to be around Jami right now. Mark said she's not taking the news very well."

"Yeah, I kind of expected that. They've gotten really close since she came back. I'm... I'm glad Mrs. Barnett is gonna be here. James is gonna need her mother." he lifted his hand to rub the back of his neck.

"You want to get back to Jami?" Chris asked looking down at him.

"Yeah, I... I should. I don't know when they're gonna be taking her to her room and I should really be there when she wakes up again. I promised her I wouldn't leave." he looked up at him.

"OK man, just call if you need anything. I'll be here in a heartbeat." he looked down at him.

"Thanks man. I... I appreciate that." he smiled faintly before turning back to return to Jami's bedside. She was still sleeping when he re entered the room. He set the duffel bag down next to the chair before sitting down and staring at his fiance sleeping peacefully in her hospital bed. He never wanted to see this sight. His wife in a hospital bed while he watched on helplessly. Granted, she wasn't his wife yet, but it held the same meaning. She was the woman he wanted to spend the rest of his life with and she was in the hospital and he was helpless to fix it.

It was nearly dinner time when Jami was finally moved to her room. She woke up just after the orderlies moved her. Mrs. Barnett had just arrived and she was standing at her daughter's bedside when she awoke. "Hi sweetheart, you're up. Can I get you anything?" she asked fussing with her daughter's blankets and pillows.

"No mama. I'm... I'm fine." she answered in a weak, weary voice.

"Jami, I'm so very sorry this happened. But you and Roger are strong enough to get past this and the next time you'll have your beautiful..." she started when Jami interrupted her.

"Mama, please don't say it. Not... not now. I can't think about that right now." she pleaded looking away from her.

"I'm... I'm sorry. You're right. You don't need to think about those things right now. You need your rest." she looked down at her daughter.

"Where's Roger?" she asked looking around her room.

"He was exhausted. I told him he should try to get some rest, but you know how stubborn he is. So I sent him for coffee. He hasn't left your side for one minute since you've been here. He really loves you." she smiled down at her.

"I know that mama. Hence the fact that I'm marrying him." she whispered looking up at her before tilting her head towards the window.

"Jami, I know this is hard to accept, but sometimes things happen for a reason. Even bad things. But you and Roger can get through this. You will get through this." she reached down to tuck her daughter's blond hair behind her ear.

"What reason mama? Can you answer that? What possible reason could there be for this to happen to us? We wanted this baby more than anything on the planet. We... we were gonna try invitro fertilization after the wedding so we could have a child together safely. We didn't want to count on an accident and then it happened. The wonderful accident we both wanted actually happened. But I lost the baby. How could this happen to us mama? Why?" she cried looking up at her mother.

"I don't know sweetheart. I just don't know." she whispered sitting on the side of the bed to embrace her grieving daughter. Roger stood out in the hallway listening to his fiance grieve. Running his fingers through his hair before wiping the tears from his eyes, he took a deep breath before entering the room. He cleared his throat gently, getting the women's attention.

"Roger, hey. Um... did you... did you enjoy your coffee?" Jami asked looking up at him wiping her tears for her face.

"Enjoy's not quite the right word for it. It wasn't strong enough and it tasted funny." he complained light heartedly.

"Oh? I guess bohemian carafe wasn't on the menu." she smiled weakly through her tears.

"Comedian." he groaned smirking at her.

"Come here Baby." she held her hand out inviting him to join her on the bed as Mrs. Barnett got up.

"I'll leave you two alone." she said before leaving the room.

"I didn't mean for your mom to have to leave. She came a long way to be with you." he looked over at her.

"That's OK. She knows we need time alone." she looked over at him.

"James, I'm just glad you're OK. If anything happened to you..." he started looking over at her.

"I know. I'm... I'm sorry I worried you. My body was trying to tell me something and I didn't listen." she looked down at her lap.

"How could you have known? You read in a book that it was normal. None of this is your fault." he insisted cupping her face.

"We... we really wanted this baby Roger. I... I know I did." she looked up into his eyes hers filling with tears.

"Me too Baby, but all I want is for you to be OK." he looked over at her.

"Um, does... does Mark and Maureen know?" she asked.

"Yeah, Doug and Collins called them. Oh, Chris was here earlier and brought you some clothes if you want to change into something more comfortable." he mentioned reaching out for the duffel bag.

"Roger, don't. I... I just need to feel you next to me. Please." she pleaded looking up at him.

"I love being next to you James. That's why I plan on spending the rest of my life there." he smiled shifting to sit next to her so she could lay her head on his chest. "I love you Jami." he whispered kissing her head.

"I love you too Roger." she answered quietly caressing his shirt covered chest.

"You should try to get some sleep Baby." he looked down at her.

"I can't sleep anymore. I've slept enough for today. I just want to lay here and be close to you." she whispered looking up at him.

"Baby, there's no place I'd rather be." he kissed her head again holding her close to him.

"See, I told you they'd get through this." Mrs. Davis smiled looking over at Mrs. Barnett.

"That you did Ginger. That's you did." she smiled watching their children from the doorway of Jami's hospital bed. "They truly live for each other, don't they?" she asked looking over at her.

"Yeah, they really do. I've never seen Roger like this. It's nice that he has a nice girl to keep him grounded. He's been through so much in his life, I... I always hoped he'd find a girl like Jami to love him and give him a future."

"They're very lucky to be in each other's lives." Mrs. Barnett smiled at her.

"They certainly are. You raised a wonderful girl Agnes." she smiled at her.

"You didn't do so bad yourself. He's a very loving man. He's devoted to her." Mrs. Barnett smiled before looking back at their children, caught up in one another's loving embraces.


	34. Chapter 34

The next day, Jami was being released from the hospital. Heather, Mrs. Davis and Mrs. Barnett waited for them to arrive while Chris picked them up from the hospital. "Doug, do you plan on getting up off your fat ass and helping with anything?" Heather asked as she set food out on the dining room table.

"There's nothing for me to do. If I go in there and try to help, I'll get my ass kicked back in here." he looked up at her as he lounged on the couch.

"You know, Jami'll be home soon. It would be nice if you were doing something other than sitting on your ass being useless." she argued looking down at him.

"Heather Louise stop yelling at your brother. I'm sure Jami doesn't want to come home to you two arguing." Mrs. Davis said looking over at her daughter.

"But ma, all he does is sit around and do nothing." she looked over at her mother. Waving her arms in Doug's direction.

"Douglas, go make sure Roger's bed is cleared off and made. I'm sure Jami is gonna want to lay down when they get home and she shouldn't have to clear off the bed to do that." she said looking over at her son.

"Sure ma." he agreed getting up from the couch and rushing up the stairs.

"Was 6 kids as tough as 4?" Mrs. Davis asked looking over at Mrs. Barnett.

"Surprisingly, no. My kids are not as close as yours is. Everyone just stayed out of each other's way. Especially James. Being the only girl, she was on her own a lot. She needed to develop something of her own away from the boys." she looked over at her.

"You're lucky." Mrs. Davis smiled as she heard Chris pull up in front of the house in her minivan. "They're here. Collins, why don't you go out and see if they need a hand with anything, will you?"

"Sure thing Mrs. D." Collins got up and rushed outside.

"I'm fine Roger. I can walk on my own." Jami argued as Roger tried helping her walk to the house.

"You just had surgery yesterday, will you let me help you please?" he argued looking down at her.

"Minor surgery Roger. I only have 2 tiny incisions. I'm fine. Just let me walk on my own." she countered as she slowly made her way to the front door of the Davis house, where Collins was standing.

"Are you done giving that boy a hard time, or do you need another minute?" he smiled leaning against the porch with his arms crossed.

"I'm not a child Collins. I do know how to walk on my own." she groaned looking up at him .

"All he's trying to do is help, you know? He loves you." he looked down at her.

"I'm not an invalid." she whispered as she carefully walked up the stairs and into the house. Roger lagged behind, carrying the duffel bag.

"That damn woman is gonna kill me yet." he groaned watching her carefully.

"I see she's as stubborn and independent as ever." Collins chuckled looking down at him.

"Worse. She's determined to prove that she's OK." he said looking up at him.

"Is she? OK?" he asked looking down at him.

"Physically." Roger answered before going inside the house where Jami was sitting on the couch resting.

"Would you like anything sweetie? Water? Iced Tea? Something to eat?" Mrs. Davis asked fussing over Jami.

"I'm fine mom. I... I just need to rest. Maybe I'll go upstairs and lay down for a little while." she looked up at her as she struggled to get up.

"Here, let me help." Roger rushed over to her to help.

"Roger, I can..." she started when he interrupted her.

"Not another word James. I'm helping you, so deal with it and move on." he growled quietly through his clenched teeth.

"Fine." she conceded quietly as he helped her up the stairs. When they got to his room, he shut the door before preparing to get yelled at. "Don't do that again."

"What James? What did I do?" he asked as she slowly walked to the bed and sat down.

"You treated me like an invalid. I only had minor surgery, not an organ transplant. I don't need you to help me walk." she argued looking up at him.

"Well excuse me for giving a damn about you and your well being. I guess I should just let you struggle next time." he yelled back looking over at her.

"I wasn't struggling. You don't have to be so over protective. I can take care of myself Roger. I did it for years before I met you. I'm not gonna stop just because I have you to take care of me." she yelled getting up slowly from the bed.

"Oh, I'm being over protective? OK, well why don't you lay down and take care of yourself and I'll go downstairs and leave you alone." he yelled leaving the bedroom. Slamming the door behind him. Jami started at the door for a minute before turning to lay down in the bed. She curled up on her side, clutching the pillow before bursting into tears quietly into the pillow.

"What the hell is going on up there?" Mrs. Davis asked as Roger stormed down the stairs.

"We had a fight. I... I need some time out. Can I borrow your car?" he asked looking over at his mother.

"Why don't we take a ride? You shouldn't be alone right now. We'll... we'll take my car." Chris suggested looking over at Roger.

"I was hoping to drive. It... helps me clear my head." he looked over at him.

"That's cool bro. I was gonna let you drive her this weekend anyway." he dug into his jeans pocket before tossing the keys to him Roger caught them mid air before leaving the house.

"I'll be back later." Roger called out before closing the door behind him.

"What happened man?" Chris asked looking over at him.

"She just had surgery and she's acting like she broke a damn nail or something. She won't let me help her with anything." he yelled as he stood on the drivers side of the Mustang.

"She's an independent woman Roger. She doesn't need anyone to take care of her. She chooses to be with you because she loves you, not because she needs you to take care of her." he leaned on the roof of the car looking at his brother.

"She just lost our baby Chris. But she insists on taking care of herself like I don't give a damn. Like it didn't happen to me too." he argued running his fingers through is hair frustrated.

"She's dealing with it the best she can. It'll hit her and then she'll need you to take care of her. But right now let her deal with it her way."

"She's in denial man. If she keeps going on like this, she's gonna crash. Hard." Roger commented before getting into the car.

"She's not the only one." Chris muttered getting in the car with him. Roger started up the Mustang and drove off down the street as Mrs. Barnett made her way up to Roger and Jami's room.

"James Frances, you need to talk to him about this. He can help you through it." Mrs. Barnett said looking down at her daughter.

"Mama, I'm fine. I don't need to talk to him about this. I can take care of myself." she argued looking up at her.

"But you don't have to go through this alone. Roger's going through it too. You two need each other now more than ever and you're starting fights with him? Sweetie, that's not like you."

"You don't know mama. You don't know anything about this. You never had problems having your husbands children. We have a lot of obstacles to overcome." she yelled up at her mother.

"You can try again Jami. The doctor told you that you'd be able to try again, right?" she asked looking over at her.

"Yes mama, he did. I just... I don't want to talk about his right now." she cried looking over at her.

"You don't know that it will happen again."

"You can't tell me that it won't. None of you can." she started crying before turning to bury her face in the pillow. Mrs. Barnett left the room, shutting the door quietly behind her.

"Is she alright?" Mrs. Davis asked looking over at her.

"You heard her. She's very angry. I'm afraid if she and Roger don't mourn this, it could tear them apart." she told her somberly slowly walking to the couch.

"It'll be OK. Roger and Jami love each other so much, they can get each other through this." Mrs. Davis looked over at her.

"That would require them to be in the same room together. Look around mom. They're not even in the same house." Heather snorted getting up from the chair and storming out the door. She started walking down the street. When she turned onto the main road and walked for a little while until she had walked a half a mile. She noticed Chris' Mustang outside a bar. She went in and saw her older brothers drinking beer. "Great, your fiance is home alone mourning the loss of your child and you're in here drinking. That's great Roger, seriously." she walked up behind them as they sat at the bar.

"Not now squirt. I'm not in a mood." Roger groaned staring at his beer bottle.

"Roger, Jami's not doing well. She just yelled at her mom and now she's in your room crying. Alone. She really needs you."

"She doesn't want me Heather. She wants to prove to everyone that she can take care of herself. She's gonna have to figure out that she can't before I can help her." he slowly turned around on the stool to look at his sister.

"How did this happen Roger? Yesterday, me and Jami were walking and talking about the baby. Talking about her wanting to name it after you and dad and now... everything's a mess." she asked quietly looking up at him.

"I don't know Heather. All I know is that my fiance is suffering and she won't let me help her. What am I supposed to do? Stay there and let her either yell at me or ignore me? I can't do it. It's ripping me apart seeing her like that, but there's nothing I can do." he looked over at her, hurt filling his eyes.

"I'm so sorry Roger. I... I know how excited you two were about this baby." she said looking into his gloomy green eyes.

"Thanks squirt." he said quietly before turning back around on the stool.

"Do you want a beer sis? I think we could all use a drink." Chris offered looking down at Heather.

"Here, finish mine. I'm going home. She may not want me there, but she needs me there. I'm not gonna run when things get tough. Not with her." he told him quietly before getting up from the stool.

"I'll take you." Chris looked over at him.

"Nah, I'll walk. I need the time to think about what I'm gonna say to her anyway. Thanks for the drink man." he looked over at his brother before turning to leave the bar.

"Do you think they'll be OK?" Heather asked looking up at Chris as she sat in the stool her older brother just vacated.

"Yeah, if anyone can get through this, it's Roger and Jami." Chris told her before taking another sip of his beer.

As Roger walked down the street, he shoved his hands into his jacket pockets. He felt his pill bottle and fished it out. Stopping in the middle of the sidewalk, he stared at the bottle. "What a fuck up I was." he thought to himself before shoving it back in his pocket and rushing around the corner and up to the front door of the Davis house.

"Is everything OK?" Mrs. Davis asked seeing her son enter the house.

"No ma, but I'm gonna do something about that." he looked over at her before rushing up the stairs to his bedroom. He opened the door and noticed Jami lying on the bed crying. "James." he called out approaching the bed. He sat next to her, setting his hand on her back.

"I'm so sorry Roger." she cried turning around nestling against him.

"I know. Me... me too. I'm just very protective of you. You're my life James." he whispered holding her in his arms.

"You were just trying to take care of me and I yelled at you for it. It... it wasn't fair for me to yell at you." she cried into his shirt, holding the back of his jacket in her hand.

"Well, I swore to Mark and your family that I would take care of you. I wouldn't want him to kick my ass." he smirked down at her.

"Oh yeah, I can see him kicking your ass too. If you were already unconscious." she started laughing through her tears as he laughed too. He loved hearing her laugh again. It was the first time since all this happened.

"What? It could happen." he laughed.

"Baby, Maureen could kick your ass more than Mark can." she looked up at him, the light in her blue eyes was back.

"OK, maybe you're right. But I'd give him half a chance." he lifted his hand to caress her tear stained face.

"You could never hurt me Roger. That much I am completely sure of." she turned serious.

"Not intentionally." he whispered leaning down to kiss her soft lips.

"I know Baby." she buried her face back in his chest as he held her close.

"I'm really sorry this happened." he whispered.

"It's not your fault Roger."

"It's not yours either Jami. Sometimes these things happen. There's nothing we could have done differently. You have to believe that." he looked down into her blue eyes.

"I... I know. I was just afraid you would think it was my fault." she looked up at him.

"This could never be your fault." he leaned down to kiss her as they shifted to lay down on the bed. Jami on Roger's chest as he held her to him. Soon they both fell asleep.


	35. Chapter 35

When Jami woke up it was 3 in the morning. Everyone was asleep and the house was quiet. Jami had never been in the Davis house when it was quiet. She carefully climbed out of bed, trying not to wake Roger up and opened the door before quietly shutting it behind her. She made the journey downstairs where everything was dark. She felt her way around the kitchen to turn the little light above the table on. Sitting on it was a stack of photo albums. One was labeled Roger's Baby Book. She sat at the table and opened it. The first picture was of Roger in the hospital. His father holding cradling him in his arms. Roger's resemblance to his father was uncanny. Roger woke up a short time later and made his way downstairs, in search of his fiance. He approached the kitchen and stood in the doorway, smiling at her. She looked so beautiful sitting at the kitchen table looking down at a book. He quietly walked over to her placing his strong hands on her delicate shoulders. "Whatcha doin' Baby?" Roger asked quietly leaning down to kiss her head.

"Couldn't sleep anymore. I... I found these on the table. I like looking at pictures of my favorite guy when he was little." she smiled holding the photo album up for him to see.

"Our mom's must have been telling stories about us when we were kids." he laughed sliding into the chair next to her.

"You're still a kid Roger." she smiled looking over at him.

"Very funny. I don't know if I like that they're getting along so well." he smiled.

"I do. I mean, I didn't like it at first, but think about it. They're kids are getting married. They should be friendly at least. A very smart, handsome man told me that once." she smiled over at him. "Plus, I think your mom is a good influence on my mom."

"Why's that?" he asked confused.

"Your mom is so independent. Mama never had to take care of herself, at least until papa died. I worried about her after he was gone. But the boys were there to take care of her." she looked back down at a picture of Roger with his father. They were on the floor playing with toy cars. "Your father was so devoted to you, wasn't he?" she smiled running her finger over the picture.

"Yeah, dad was cool. He thought nothing of coming home, changing out of his suit and rolling around with us in the yard." he smiled at her.

"That's the kind of father you'll be." she told him quietly before looking up at him.

"I'll try my best James." he reached out for her hand, squeezing it gently.

"I know you will."

"Are you OK James? I mean, if you're not, it's OK. But I just want you to talk to me." he asked looking into her eyes.

"I'm OK Roger. I mean, I'm sad that this wasn't our chance, but we'll get another one. I know we will." she looked up at him.

"You bet your ass we'll get another chance. I promise you Jami. I'm not gonna give up on this. But I know you don't want to try again, not yet anyway." he brought her hand up to his lips, kissing them.

"I do want to try again Roger. Soon. I know I didn't want to talk about it in the hospital, but I do want to try again. Maybe after the wedding when things are a little more settled down, we can go do the invitro like we originally planned." she looked into his green eyes.

"I'd like that Baby." he smiled as she went back to looking at the photo album. "That was my first guitar. Dad bought it for me at this pawn shop. He said it could have belonged to Springsteen or someone cool like that." he pointed out looking at a picture of himself at age 12 holding an acoustic guitar.

"You look so handsome. I... I hope our child looks just like you." she smiled at the picture.

"I don't know how I feel about that." he chuckled looking up at her.

"Why's that? If you hadn't noticed, you're a very good looking man." she asked looking over at him.

"I was hoping our daughter would look just like her mama."

"We'll see, but I know we'll love him or her more than anything in the world no matter what they look like." she smiled at him.

"Yeah Baby. We will." he smiled at they finished looking at Roger's album and started looking at another that was sitting on the table. They laughed as Roger told stories about all the trouble, he, Chris and Doug would get into and she told him stories about her own childhood.

"I... I never seemed to be good enough for papa." she explained looking over at him.

"He was proud of you James. Aidan said so himself."

"Yeah, behind my back. To my face he acted like I was in the way. Like the fact that I was a girl was an inconvenience to him\or something." she looked down at the pictures of Roger's father and Heather that adorned the page. "Not like your dad with Heather. He... he looked like he worshiped her."

"He did. It was annoying sometimes. She'd do things to get us in trouble. Dad never believed it could actually be sweet innocent little Heather starting all the trouble." he laughed looking over at her.

"My poor Baby." she laughed lifting her hand to his scruffy cheek.

"Yeah, I got grounded so many times because of that little squirt." he pouted looking over at his fiance.

"If we have a daughter, she's gonna be a daddy's girl. I can see it now." she smiled at him.

"If she looks like her mama, it's inevitable." he smiled at her.

Before they knew it, it was 7:30am and the house began waking up. Mrs. Davis appeared in the kitchen and smiled at the couple sitting at her kitchen table. "How long have you two been up?" she asked looking over at them before starting a pot of coffee.

"A few hours. I couldn't sleep. I slept so much in the hospital and then when I got home yesterday. I was wound up, so I came down here and saw these sitting on the table. I guess you and my mom are getting along really well." Jami smiled up at her.

"Yeah, we're getting along great. I like your mother." Mrs. Davis smiled at her.

"Good. I... I think you're a great influence on her." she smiled at her future mother in law.

"Your mother's not as old fashioned as you remember her to be. She's a very independent woman. I think you influenced her to change." she smiled at her.

"I'm... I'm glad." she was caught off guard by her comment.

"It's nice to see you feeling better sweetie. You had us all pretty worried about you." she walked over to her.

"I know. I'm... I'm sorry for the way I've been acting. It's just..." she started when Mrs. Davis interrupted her.

"We understand sweetie. You don't need to apologize for anything." Mrs. Davis said looking over at her.

"Thanks mom. I... I appreciate that." Jami smiled up at her future mother in law.

"We love you James. You're a part of this family now. No matter what happens with my son." she reached down for Jami's hand.

"Your son is pretty great. I... I think I'll keep him." she smiled at Roger.

"Gee thanks." he whined looking over at his fiance.

"Yeah, he is pretty great, isn't he?" Mrs. Davis smiled looking over at Roger, who was smiling at Jami.

"Yeah, he's my everything." Jami smiled back at him as he looked at her lovingly. Mrs. Davis smiled at them before stepping away to start breakfast. Roger and Jami talked about the photo albums. They laughed and Mrs. Davis told stories about Roger. Mainly embarrassing stories. Roger didn't seem to mind since Jami was enjoying hearing them. He even joined in, helping Mrs. Davis tell the stories. Mrs. Barnett came down from Chris' old room, where she had been sleeping since Jami was in the hospital.

"What's all the racket down here?" she smiled entering the kitchen.

"Sorry mama. We were talking about when Roger was little. He was such a little trouble maker." Jami laughed looking back at her mother.

"From what I can tell, he's a big trouble maker now." she joked walking over to Mrs. Davis.

"Hey! I resemble that remark." Roger whined laughing.

"It's so nice to see you laughing again James. I missed my daughter's beautiful smile." she smiled over at her.

"Thank you mama. Um... I'm... I'm sorry about yesterday. I didn't mean to yell at you like that. Um... Roger and I were up most of the night talking and we decided to try the invitro fertilization thing after the wedding, when... when things calm down a little." she looked up at her mother.

"That's wonderful James. I'm glad you two talked it out. I knew you could get each other past this. A love like yours can move mountains." she smiled as Mrs. Davis handed her a cup of coffee.

"It can do lots more mama." she smiled holding Roger's hand tight as Mrs. Davis continued making their breakfast.

"Jami sweetie, can you go wake Heather up? If I send any of the boys, they'll torture her and she'll be in a bad mood all day." Mrs. Davis smiled over at Jami.

"Sure mom." she smiled getting up from the chair and climbing up the stairs. "Heather, breakfast." she called out as she opened the door slowly. Heather's bed was empty and looked like it hadn't been slept in. She entered the room, closing the door behind her. "Heather, are you here?" she called out looking around. She noticed a rope ladder hanging out the window and it appeared to be someone using it. She went over to the window in time to see Heather climbing up the ladder. "Good morning sis." she smiled down at her.

"Jami, um... I... Uh..." she stuttered reaching the top and climbing in the window.

"You were out with that guy, weren't you?" she asked looking at her.

"You won't tell anyone I snuck out, will you?" she asked lifting the ladder back into her room before closing the window.

"You're 22 years old Heather. Why the hell are you sneaking out?" Jami laughed looking over at her.

"You have met my brother's right? I mean, you're marrying one of them. You are still marrying him, aren't you?" she asked looking over at her.

"Yes Heather. Roger and I are still getting married. Actually, we stayed up most of the night talking about things." she smiled sitting on the bed.

"That's great Jami. I'm so happy you're OK. You are OK, right?" she asked looking over at her.

"Yeah Heather, I'm fine. We um... we decided to go back to our original plan. Doing the invitro after the wedding. We still want to have a child together, I... I just don't want to count on another accident, you know?" she asked looking over at her.

"You have no idea how relieved I am that you guys worked things out. It killed me to see you two so distant from each other." Heather sat next to her.

"I know. I was just sad and angry that I lost the baby. I... I was afraid that Roger thought it was my fault." she looked over at her.

"He could never think it was your fault. He loves you so much Jami. I've never seen my brother happier than he is with you. You're his life." she smiled looking over at her.

"He's mine too Heather. I... I don't know what I would do without him." she looked over at her.

"You won't have to worry about that for a while. You have to believe that." she looked over at her.

"I do. I'm counting on many years of him driving me crazy." she looked down at her lap before taking a deep breath. "We... we have to go down to breakfast. Everyone's gonna wonder where we are."

"Can... can you not tell them that you caught me climbing in the window? I mean, I'm not asking you to lie to them. I just... I need more time so I can figure out how I'm gonna introduce them to Noah." she pleaded looking over at her.

"Noah, huh? Are you in love with this Noah boy?" she smiled up at her.

"Yeah, I am. I just... I don't want to subject him to my idiot brothers." she looked over at her.

"I understand. But I have a feeling you won't have to worry about Roger." Jami smirked at her.

"Why? Do you plan on shooting him with a tranqu dart or something?" she laughed looking over at her.

"Nah, I'll just talk to him and he'll be OK. I'm gonna save the tranqu darts for Chris and Dougie." Jami laughed.

"Good idea. They're gonna be real jerks."

"You never know." Jami smiled at her.

"Thanks for being so cool about this Jami. With 3 brothers, it's cool to have a sister around to talk about boys with." Heather looked over at her.

"I'm glad you consider me your sister. I had 5 brothers, so it's nice to finally have a sister. " she smiled over at her.

"Come on. Mom's gonna wonder where we are." she smiled looking over at her.

"Good morning Dougie. Time to get up." they heard chiming through the house. It was Roger's voice, taunting his younger brother who was sleeping.

"Fuck off Roger." he groaned as Roger laughed at his younger brother.

"See. If they treat each other like that, how are they gonna treat Noah?" Heather asked looking at Jami.

"Let me worry about the big one. I think I can take him." Jami laughed putting her arm around Heather's shoulder.

"Oh, I don't doubt that you can take him. He's wrapped around your little finger." Heather laughed looking over at her as they began walking down the stairs. Roger was still taunting Doug.

"Now I see where he got all his practice before he got to the city." he laughed meeting the girls at the bottom of the stairs.

"Yeah, he is the master." Heather laughed as they heard Roger and Doug scuffling upstairs.

"I like seeing him like that. It's cute." Jami smiled at them.

"You're marrying him. You think everything he does is cute." Heather laughed looking over at her.

"Yeah well, he is cute. Sue me." she laughed as they entered the kitchen.

"There's our girl. It's nice to see you happy again sweetheart. I missed you." Collins looked down at her.

"Me and Roger spent most of the night talking. I'm... I'm sorry for the way I've been acting." she looked up at him.

"Don't apologize sweetheart. I'm sorry this happened to you. I'm sure Angel and Mimi had nothing to do with that." he put his arm around her delicate shoulders.

"I don't blame them sweetie. I promise. Somethings are just beyond our control." she looked up at him before they sat at the table with Mrs. Davis and Mrs. Barnett.


	36. Chapter 36

It was Sunday afternoon and Roger's up in his room, lying down. Jami's outside, sitting on the porch enjoying the late November weather in New Jersey. She was sitting on the bench, with her arms folded across her chest when the door opened. "Jami, is everything OK?" Mrs. Davis asked looking over at her.

"Yeah, I'm just... thinking about things." she looked up at her.

"Anything you want to share?" she asked closing the door before walking over to join her.

"I was just imagining Roger playing out here as a child." she smiled looking over at her.

"He loved playing out here. He'd play football out in the street with his friends for hours. I used to have to yell at him to come in to eat dinner and get ready for bed." Mrs. Davis smiled at her.

"He... he loves being here." she told her quietly.

"I love having him here. And you too for that matter. This is your home too, you know?"

"I know. I... I like it here too. I feel safe here, you know?" she looked down at her lap.

"So what's wrong?" Mrs. Davis asked looking over at her.

"Am I that transparent?" Jami smirked looking over at her.

"Don't worry. I don't think anyone else notices." she rubbed her hands together for warmth.

"I was thinking that it was time for me and Roger to go home."

"Back to your normal life." Mrs. Davis confirmed with a nod.

"Yeah. Something like that." she smiled at her.

"It's OK sweetie. You and Roger have been through a lot here this weekend. There's nothing wrong with wanting to get things back to normal." she smiled at her.

"I just feel like we need to get back to our life in the city."

"Jami, you know you and Roger are welcome to stay as long as you need to, but it's OK for you to get back to your life."

"Thanks, I... I wasn't sure how you'd react to me wanting to leave." she looked up at her.

"Don't worry about me. I'll be fine."

"Yeah, I kind of have a feeling it's Roger I should be worrying about." she looked at her.

"Roger will follow you anywhere." she smiled reaching over to take her hand.

"He is kind of pathetic, isn't he?" she smiled at her, thinking about Roger.

"Not pathetic. Just desperately in love with you. There's nothing wrong with that." she smiled before getting up and going back inside. When she shut the door she noticed Roger standing in the kitchen doorway. "Roger. I didn't know you were up. Jami's sitting on the porch."

"I know. I... I heard you guys talking." he looked down at her.

"So you heard that she wants to go home, right?" she asked looking over at him.

"Yeah." Roger said quietly turning to go into the kitchen.

"Roger, you need to follow her lead on this. If she wants to go home, you should go." she followed him into the kitchen.

"I know ma, it's just... the nursery is at home." he looked back at her.

"She can handle it Roger. She's stronger than you're giving her credit for." she argued looking over at him. "I can't believe I'm arguing with you over this."

"I know how strong my fiance is ma. She's the strongest woman I know. Besides you." he looked over at her.

"So what's the problem Roger?"

"I don't know if I can look at the nursery, OK?" he yelled looking over at his mother.

"Oh. I... I guess we've all been so worried about Jami that... I'm so sorry Roger." she walked over to him.

"No, I'm... I'm sorry ma. I... I didn't mean to yell at you." he looked over at her.

"Roger, this is a normal reaction for what you've just been through." she put her hand on his arm.

"But I'm supposed to be holding Jami together and I can't even keep myself together." he looked down at her.

"You're allowed to break down Roger. It was your child too. Jami understands that."

"It wasn't a child ma. It was an egg that could have killed her. Another woman I loved could have died." he told her frustrated.

"But it didn't kill her. She's here and she's there for you just as much as you're there for her." she explained looking up at him.

"It didn't kill me Roger. I'm... I"m right here."

"James, I..." he stuttered as she walked towards him.

"I'm here and I'm not going anywhere."

"But you could have died Jami. I... I don't think I could handle losing anyone else. Least of all you." he walked towards her as they met in the middle of the kitchen.

"I'm not leaving you Roger Davis. Do you hear me? You're stuck with me." she insisted taking hold of the front of his shirt.

"You're the only woman I want to be stuck with." he cupped her face in his hands before leaning down to kiss her.

"Good, because I'm not going anywhere."

"I don't know if I'm ready to go home yet." he explained looking over at her.

"We need to get back to real life Roger. I... I need to get back to my film." she looked up at him.

"My mom said that we're welcome to stay as long as we want." he looked down into her eyes.

"Roger, we can't stay here forever, you know? We do have real life to get home to. Planning the wedding, you have a doctor's appointment on Tuesday. We have things we..." she started before cutting herself short. "You're avoiding the doctor, aren't you?" she asked walking away from him, sitting heavily on the chair

"No. I just... I like being here with you, that's all." he avoided her gaze.

"You can be with me at home too." she smiled up at him.

"Why don't we get packed? Maybe I can have Doug take us to the train station or something." he suggested looking down at her.

"You don't have to go right away, do you? You can wait until after dinner." Mrs. Davis looked over at them.

"I'd like that." Jami smiled over at her.

"Sure ma." he smiled before going upstairs to Jami.

At dinner, Mrs. Davis, Jami, Heather and Mrs. Barnett talked about the wedding. Roger seemed to be paying attention, but Doug, Chris and Collins were clearly bored. They just smiled and nodded as if they were listening, but took turns exchanging looks to one another and laughing afterwards. Mrs. Davis took the hint and got up to put on some music. She kept the station tuned to an oldies station which played songs from the 50's, 60's and 70's. "Do you kids remember when you were little? We always used to listen to music when we ate dinner." Mrs. Davis smiled at Roger and her other children.

"Yeah and you and dad used to get up and dance, leaving us to clean up." Chris griped looking over at his mother.

"It gave you good practice for when you were on your own." she smiled at him.

"Except in Chris' case. He lives in a sty." Heather teased looking at her oldest brother.

"Bite me shorty." he groaned looking over at her as she laughed.

"No way. Who knows when the last time was when you did your laundry. I might get a terminal disease." she snapped back as he stuck his tongue out at her.

"Mom did my laundry the other day, so there."

"You are so pathetic man. Ma still does your laundry?" Roger laughed at his brother.

"I'd shut up if I were you pretty boy. I know Jami does your laundry. Otherwise all your whites would be pink." he teased back.

"He got you there Baby." Jami laughed looking up at him.

"Hey, who's side are you on anyway?" he whined looking down at his fiance.

"Usually yours, but Chris is on the winning team this time." she laughed looking over at Chris.

"Hope you're happy man, you got my girl against me now." Roger laughed looking at his brother.

"I have a feeling you'll deal with it." Chris smiled shoving another fork full of food in his mouth. They all continued eating their dinner when the Elvis song 'I Can't Help Falling in Love with You' came on.

"I love this song. Do you remember this song mama?" Jami smiled looking at her mother.

"Yes James, I remember." she smiled as Jami looked up at Roger.

"Mama and papa used to dance to it all the time when we were growing up." she smiled looking up at Roger.

"So let's dance." he smiled putting his fork down and taking her hand gently.

"Dance? Roger, I can barely walk without falling down." she laughed looking up at him.

"Don't worry. Just let me take care of everything." he smiled as they got up. They went into the living room and started slow dancing in the middle of the room.

"You do realize that I'm not coordinated enough for this, right?" she laughed holding on to him.

"I won't let you fall James. I never will." he smiled charismatically at her. She melted as he smiled down at her.

"You're amazing, Roger Davis." she smiled up at him as he held her tight in his strong, loving arms.

"Well I guess all those years of watching dad sweep mom off her feet right here in this room rubbed off on me." he smiled swaying back and forth to the music, taking her slender body with him.

"I am so in love with you Roger. Don't ever doubt that." she looked up into his green eyes, intensely.

"Don't worry James. I never could." he smiled leaning down to kiss her soft lips.


	37. Chapter 37

It was 9 o'clock when Roger, Jami and Collins approached the building on 11th Street. Roger and Collins carried the bags while Jami stuck close to Roger's free side. Her walking was still a bit shaky since being released from the hospital the previous day. But that wasn't the only reason she stuck close to Roger. Feeling him by her was comforting to her. She felt safe and secure in his presence. "It'll be good to sleep in our own bed, huh?" he smiled looking down at his fiance.

"Yeah, freezing my ass off not withstanding." she chuckled looking up at him.

"Don't worry. I'll keep you warm." he smiled down at her, holding her close to his side.

"Do you guys think we should have called first? I mean, knowing Mark and Maureen..." Collins started looking over at them.

"I don't think that's gonna be a problem. I called them before we left Jersey. Mark said that they'd probably be just relaxing." Jami smiled looking up at him.

"I don't even want to know why they need to relax." Roger griped looking over at him.

"Yeah, you and me both." Collins laughed as they entered the building and slowly climbed the stairs leading up to the loft.

"Be nice. I think they're really trying to be respectful to us. I haven't found any evidence that they've been anywhere other than their bedroom. Give them a break." Jami smiled as they approached the loft door. When Jami opened it, they entered. She noticed Mark and Maureen cuddled on the couch. It was apparent that Maureen was crying in Mark's arms. "I... I can't deal with this right now." Jami looked up at Roger.

"I'll take care of it. You go inside. I'll be in in a minute." he told her quietly as Maureen looked over at them.

"I'll go with." Collins looked over at Roger before following Jami into their bedroom.

"I'm sorry Jami. Um, I'm... I'm sorry Roger. I... I didn't mean to..." Maureen blurted out looking over at Roger, wiping her eyes.

"Maureen, we had a really rough weekend and the last thing she needs is to come home to you like this." he looked over at her.

"I know and I'm sorry Roger. I just.... I can't believe this happened." she looked up at him, wiping her nose.

"Yeah... thanks Maureen. Listen, it's been an exhausting weekend and she just wants things to get back to normal. Can you do that? Please?" he asked looking over at her.

"Yeah, I... I can do that." she looked up at him.

"Thank you Maureen. I appreciate that." he smiled at her before turning around to go towards his room.

"Roger." she called out as he turned around.

"Yeah."

"I love you guys." she smiled at him.

"We love you too Maureen. Thanks for caring so much. You're... you're a great friend. I don't know what we would do without you." he smiled before turning around and entering his bedroom. Shutting the door quietly behind him.

"Are you OK Baby?" Roger asked looking over at Jami as Collins sat next to her on the bed.

"I'm gonna give you guys some time." Collins got up from the bed, leaving the room.

"Are they really OK?" Maureen asked as Collins entered the living room.

"Yeah, it was tough the last couple of days, but they talked things out last night and they seem to be doing better." he answered looking down at her.

"Yeah, a love like theirs, blah blah blah." Mark smirked looking over at him.

"That and the atmosphere at his moms. It's incredible. I mean, they support each other so much. It's hard to imagine that Roger came from there until you see him with them. Mrs. D is like the best mom ever. She's funny, smart and Roger fears her. All the kids do. I've never seen him afraid of anyone the way he's afraid of his mom." Collins laughed looking over at them.

"At least he's afraid of someone." Maureen laughed looking over at him.

"He's afraid of a lot of things Maureen. One of them almost became a reality this weekend." he told her quietly before going into his room.

"But at least she's OK." Maureen looked up at Mark.

"Yeah. She looked OK. But I still think they have a few things to get past." Mark looked down at her.

"They can do it. I know they can." she insisted as Mark held her in his arms.

"I'm sorry about all that." Roger sat on the bed next to her.

"Yeah, I'm... I'm fine. I just... I just can't deal with Maureen right now." she told him quietly staring down into her lap.

"She cares Baby. I know she has a tendency to be a little over dramatic, but she only does it because she loves you." he sat next to her putting his arms around her.

"I know. I... I guess I just want things to go back to normal. I don't want to live in mourning. I want to just move on with my film, writing and planning our wedding." she looked up at him.

"If you want that, we can do that. We're all here for you." he smiled leaning in to kiss her head.

"I don't want everyone to be there for me. I want us to all be there for each other. Like we were before... before all this happened." she looked at him.

"OK Baby. We can do whatever you want."

"Thank you Baby. I... I don't know what I would do without you in my life. You've given me so much." she looked up at him smiling.

"You've given me more than I ever dreamed I could have." he held her close to him.

"I'm... I'm gonna go talk to Maureen." she looked up at him.

"Do you think that's such a good idea? Now?" he asked looking down at her.

"Yeah, I... I do. I want to get this over with as soon as possible. The sooner we do this, the sooner our lives can get back to normal." she got up from the bed.

"OK. I'll... I'll start unpacking." he looked up at her.

"Just be careful. They're all folded the way I like them. You tend to make a mess." she smirked down at him.

"I'll be extra careful Baby. I promise." he smiled up at her.

"I don't doubt that." she smiled before leaving the bedroom. When she got into the living room, Mark was alone on the couch, going over papers from the production company. "Where's Maureen?" she asked looking over at him.

"In... the other room. She wanted to go through some things in there. Is everything OK?" he asked looking up at him.

"I'm fine Mark. I... I lost the baby, but I'm fine. We're... we're gonna try again after the wedding. We're gonna do the invitro." she looked over at him.

"That's good, that... that you want to try again." he looked up at her. "How are you really?"

"I was really bad at first. I mean, Roger and I were fighting, I yelled at my mother. I... I avoided everyone. I was feeling sorry for myself, but me and Roger spent all last night talking and we helped each other see that sometimes things happen. That doesn't mean we should give up on any of our dreams for the future." she told him, sitting next to him on the couch.

"Jami, I'm really sorry this happened." he looked up at her.

"Thank you Mark, but I'm done mourning. My time with him is too short as it is. I don't want to waste any more of it mourning for a child who never had a chance."

"What do you mean?" he was confused.

"I had an ectopic pregnancy. The... the baby never had a chance. It was stuck in my right fallopian tube." she explained calmly.

"Oh... I..." he started not knowing what to say.

"It's OK. I'm fine." she looked over at him.

"You could have died, right? I mean, if... if it burst?" he asked looking down at her.

"Yeah, I... I could have died, but I didn't. I'm fine. I think that's what worried Roger the most. The prospect of losing me." she looked up at him.

"Yeah, I'd imagine that would scare him to death."

"But I'm fine. I promise." she reached out to take his hand.

"I'm glad. I... I worry about you too. If anything happened to you, who would finish Roger's story and turn it into a film?" he smirked over at her.

"Somehow, I think you'd be able to do it. After all, who knows him better than you?" she smiled at him.

"You. I... I never knew the real Roger Davis. At least, not like you do."

"I guess I bring out the best in him, just like he brings it out in me." she smiled at him.

"Yeah, I... I guess so." he smiled.

"I... I was thinking of going out filming with you tomorrow. Like before." she looked over at him.

"There's no need." he looked over at her.

"What do you mean? Don't... don't you miss working with me?" she asked looking over at him.

"I mean, there's no need to go filming anymore. I... I finished the film."

"You... but how? When?" she asked surprised.

"2 weeks ago. I... I showed it to the production company on Friday." he looked over at her.

"You... why didn't you tell me?" she asked.

"I knew how neurotic you get. I finished editing and everything and they asked me if they could view it. That's why me and Maureen left so early. They loved it, by the way. They're talking about showing it at the film festival in April."

"I... I can't believe it's done." she got up from the couch to pace around the living room.

"That's why I didn't tell you. I know how you get." he looked up at her.

"But we started it together and then me and Roger got together and I... I just slacked off. I haven't been fair to you." she looked over at him.

"Jami, it's OK. You wrote the screenplay. My job was filming it. I just... I just liked hanging out with you." he got up to go to her.

"But you and I were friends before him. I... I feel like abandoned you for some guy." she looked over him.

"Jami, we both know that Roger's not just some guy. You're an amazing woman who deserves happiness and Roger gives that to you, I'm happy for you." he walked over to her.

"Yeah, but I left you to do the movie alone. I'm... I'm sorry." she looked up at him.

"Don't worry about it. But we did it." he smiled at her.

"We... we actually did it." she smiled back.

"Yeah, and they liked it. They really liked it." he smiled reaching out to hug her.

"Wow. They really liked it. I'm really proud of you." she smiled.

"Proud of us." he smiled letting go of her.

"Couldn't have done it without you." she smiled at him.

"We did it together Jami." he smiled at her.

"I guess we make a good team." she smiled at him.

"Yeah, we really do." he smiled at her.

"Um... I'm gonna go talk to Maureen." she looked over at him.

"Why don't you let me get her? She's in Benny's old room." he looked down at her.

"I can go in there. After all, it's gonna be the nursery in about a year and a half." she smiled going towards the nursery.

"You don't have to be a hero Jami. I can get her to come out here."

"Don't you have faith in me Mark?" she smirked over at him.

"I guess I underestimate you." he smiled as she turned to go into what was to become the baby's room.

"Maureen." Jami called out standing in the doorway.

"Jami, um... hi. I... I didn't expect you to come in here." she looked up at her as she went through a box in the corner.

"Maureen listen, I really appreciate your concern for me, but it's not necessary. I'm fine." she looked over at her.

"How could you be fine Jami? You just..." she started when Jami interrupted her.

"Had a fertilized egg removed from my fallopian tube. I wasn't really pregnant. I mean, not in the way that we thought I was. I... I could have died if it burst. Luckily they found it in time." she walked further into the room.

"Really? Oh, I'm... I'm so sorry." she stood up straight before going towards her.

"Yeah, um... me... me too. We thought I was pregnant, but I... I wasn't. Not... not really anyway." she stuttered looking over at her.

"You are gonna try again, aren't you?" Maureen asked looking over at her.

"Yeah, um... yeah we are. They widened my fallopian tube to help stop it from happening again. We're... we're gonna do the invitro after the wedding." she looked over at her.

"So, we're still gonna have yours and Roger's baby around here?" she smiled excitedly.

"Mhm. I promise. You will be terrorized by Roger's spawn." she laughed looking over at her.

"I'm looking forward to it." Maureen smiled reaching out to hug her.

"Me too." she smiled holding her friend tight.

"I'm... I'm sorry for the way I was when you got home. I tend to be a little overly dramatic." Maureen apologized pulling back to look at her.

"A little?" she laughed looking over at her.

"Hey, I happen to be an actress. I feel things very deeply." she defended herself.

"I know sweetie. And I appreciate it. I really do. You're a really good friend."

"Well, you're easy to be friends with. You gave those boys out there a second chance." Maureen smiled at her.

"You do know that me and Mark never..." she started when Maureen cut her off.

"I... I know. I mean, you... you gave him a second chance at film making. He just about gave up after Angel died, and after Mimi... we were all afraid he would shut down all together. Then he found you and you... you helped him find his passion again. I'll always be grateful to you for that." she smiled at her.

"I... I never knew that he..."

"So you see, you didn't only give Roger a do over. You gave Mark one too." she looked over at her.

"I... I guess I never looked at it that way." Jami looked over at her.

"Face it Jami. You brought this place back to life." Maureen smiled playing with Jami's hair.

"They brought me back to life too. I was alone until I met them." Jami smiled at her.

"And now you're not. You'll never be alone again." Maureen smiled hugging her again.

"I'm glad I have you guys in my life." Jami smiled hugging her back.

"Come on. We better go back out there. The boys'll be worried sick." she smiled at her.

"Yeah, Roger's been even more protective than usual." Jami looked over at her.

"I don't blame him. He could have lost you the other night. He... he couldn't live with that."

"I know. He's... he's pretty pathetic without me, huh?" Jami joked looking over at her.

"I don't know, but I don't want to find out." Maureen smiled as the ladies left the room. Roger, Mark and Collins were sitting in the living room. Roger was plucking at his guitar, Mark was reading over papers and Collins was reading a book. It was apparent that they were waiting for them to come out.

"Is everything OK?" Roger asked looking up at them.

"Yeah, but... me and Maureen are..." Jami started as she squeezed Maureen's hand. Maureen got the hint and took over.

"We're leaving you. Jami and I are together now." she told them as Jami attempted to hold back her laughter. Mark looked up at them dumbfounded as Roger just stared at them. Collins started laughing.

"More fucking comedy. Will someone tell me when this place turned into a god damn comedy club?" Roger looked over at Jami.

"Don't you even tell me that you never fantasized about two women?" Jami laughed looking over at Roger.

"Nope. And especially not my fiance and her." he took the guitar off of his lap, placing it next to him before getting up.

"What? I thought it was funny. Wish I would have thought of that. That was genius." Maureen smiled going over to Mark on the couch.

"You should know better than to do that to poor Mark. I think he's still shell shocked from the last time she went lesbo on him." Roger put his arms around Jami.

"Hey, I knew they were kidding. I was just playing along." Mark smiled at him.

"Sorry, just had to lighten the mood a bit." she laughed looking up at him.

"Yeah, you're a real comedian." Roger laughed leaning down to kiss her.

"I have to be around here." she held him close. He could feel her fatigue as he held her in his arms.

"Tired Baby?" he asked looking down at her.

"Yeah, a... a bit." she tilted her head up to look at him.

"We're gonna go to bed. We'll see you in the morning." Roger smiled at Mark, Maureen and Collins.

"You are making breakfast, right?" Maureen asked looking over at Roger.

"Do you want me to make breakfast?" Roger taunted looking over at her.

"Are you kidding? We've been starving for 3 days." she smiled at him.

"You know Maureen, the stove is not that hard to maneuver. Even you can do it." he laughed at her.

"Yeah but, my eggs never come out as light and fluffy as yours. I just make a mess."

"Fine, I'll make breakfast Maureen." he smiled at her.

"You're the best." she smiled excitedly.

"Yeah, I've been told that once or twice." he laughed as he and Jami went to their room, closing the door.

"She is so pathetic." Jami laughed reaching into the half unpacked suitcase.

"She loves my eggs. There's nothing wrong with that." he defended starting to get undressed.

"She's just using you for your cooking, you know that, right?" she said putting her hands on her hips.

"I can live with that." he laughed looking over at her.

"You just like feeling needed."

"Yep." he smiled as she pulled out a big football jersey and started getting undressed. "Hey, is that my old jersey?" he asked noticing what Jami had just thrown onto the bed.

"Um... yeah. Your mom gave it to me. She told me all about your high school quarterback days." she smiled at him.

"I... I got kicked off the team after half a semester because I kept missing practice to hang out at the music store in town." he looked up at her.

"I'd like to see you play some time. I bet you were really hot on that field." she smiled at him before pulling the big navy blue football jersey over her head. The back had the number 7 and the name Davis ironed on it.

"Nah, too old. I haven't thrown a football around in ages." he smiled climbing into bed.

"You are not too old Roger. You're 28. I think it would be fun if you and the guys got together and played a friendly little game of pigskin." she smiled climbing into the bed with him.

"Oh yeah, getting tackled by Collins sounds like loads of fun." he chuckled looking down at her.

"Not tackle, just a friendly game of touch football or something. You know how much I love to watch you playing sports. You're so happy." she smiled at him.

"You make me happy James." he leaned down to kiss her head as she lay on his chest.

"Oh my God. Guess what? Mark finished my movie." she jumped to sit up on the bed, facing him.

"Really? That's cool. When does the production company see it?" he asked looking over at her.

"They saw it Friday. That's why they left your mom's so early."

"How come you didn't go?" he asked.

"He didn't tell me. He knew I'd be a wreck. He said they... they loved it. They want to show it at the film festival in April." she smiled at him.

"That's amazing Baby. I'm so proud of you." he up to kiss her.

"It's Mark you should be proud of. I... I haven't done much for it lately. Not since we started dating. I'd be surprised if I still have a job." she looked up at him.

"Baby, you're a professional screenwriter now. You need your creative time." he explained.

"I know. I just... I feel bad that Mark did all the work on this. We... we used to be a team, but then... things changed." she looked down, away from his loving gaze.

"James, listen to me. Mark is a capable film maker. All he needed was your screenplay and he knew exactly what you wanted. He didn't need you hanging over him the whole time." he lifted her head up to look at him.

"Yeah but, we used to be partners. But ever since you and I got together, I sort of abandoned him. I feel bad about that."

"But he did it. Isn't that all that matters?" he asked looking down at her.

"Well, when we start doing your film, I'm gonna be there the whole time." she insisted looking up at him.

"I can't wait." he kissed her head before laying down as they fell asleep in one another's arms.


	38. Chapter 38

It's mid December. Jami's birthday is approaching and Roger's been very distant. Christmas is not too far away, so Jami's been giving him his space. She's been writing non stop, attempting to finish her screenplay about his life. Maureen and Mark have been spending a lot of time alone together and Collins seems to be missing in action. He's been spending a lot of his nights out. Leading the others to believe that he has a new man in his life.

"Mama, I don't need anyone to walk me down the aisle." Jami argued into the phone as she sat on the window seat.

"But Aidan would really like to do it. He is your oldest brother." Mrs. Barnett spoke gently.

"Mama, please. It's my wedding and I don't want it to be so old fashioned."

"Just think about it James. It would mean a lot to your brother." she suggested as the door opened and slammed shut. It was Roger.

"Fine mama, I'll think about it. I... I gotta go. I'll talk to you later. I love you."

"I love you too James." Mrs. Barnett hung up the phone as Jami directed her attention towards Roger.

"Hey. What did that innocent door ever do to you?" she joked looking over at him.

"Sor... sorry. I... I just had a shitty day." he groaned going straight to his room. She got up from the window seat and followed him.

"Anything you want to talk about?" she asked looking over at him.

"Not particularly." his reply had a bit of sarcasm in it.

"Roger, what... what's going on? You've been moody for weeks and I've been trying to give you some space, but I wish you would talk to me about it." she entered the room and sat on the edge of the bed.

"Let's see. The kid is fucking up, I hate the damn cold and it's almost Christmas. Does that about cover it." he snapped looking over at her.

"And that give you the right to be a bitch to me and everyone else around you?" she yelled getting up from the bed.

"I'm not being a bitch. It's just... this is a rough time of the year for me. I thought you understood that." he looked over at her.

"I do, and I've been giving you your space, but Roger I highly doubt that Mimi would condone you acting like this." she walked over to him.

"I'm dealing with a lot more than that right now James, OK?" he snapped looking at her.

"Then talk to me Roger. I am still your fiance, aren't I?" she yelled looking up at him.

"Yeah James, you are." he looked over at her taking a deep breath.

"So talk to me." she settled down and lowered her voice.

"It's that... that damn kid James, he's... he's fucking up. I knew it was a mistake to hire him, but I looked at him and saw some of myself in him. I guess he's more like me than I wanted." he looked down at her.

"What does that mean?" she asked confused.

"He's been snorting shit before rehearsal and last week I caught him shooting in the bathroom. He was so high at the show I... I had to kick him off the stage. I tried to talk to him, but that damn kid thinks he knows it all. Like I'm this asshole who has no idea what I'm talking about. Like I haven't been around long enough to know what the fuck's what." he ranted walking away from her.

"He's gotta listen to you. You've been where he is right now. He's gotta realize that he's making the mistake of his life." she walked over to him as he sat on the bed.

"That's the thing. He... he won't listen to me. We... we got into it during rehearsal. He walked out yelling about how I fucked up my life, and how I was only on top again because I hired him." he looked up at her.

"You do realize that it's not true, don't you? You made him who he is, not the other way around." she sat next to him on the bed.

"James, he's good. He's really good. I know he could do so much better than those little assholes he's hanging with, but they just want to party with a rock star." he looked down at her.

"That kid is lucky to have you in his life. He'll realize it." she looked over at him.

"Hopefully before it's too late." he leaned over to kiss her head before getting up from the bed.

"Roger, um about... about the other stuff..." she started before he looked over at her.

"Yeah, I'm... I'm really sorry about the way I've been acting lately. It's the first Christmas that I'm with someone since Mimi... and I'm not dealing with it very well, am I?" he looked over at her.

"Not really. But you're not the only one who lost her. The others did too. You guys should be helping each other through this time of year. You shouldn't be biting their head off." she looked over at him.

"You're right. And you're the last person I should be snapping at. It's just... I don't know how to deal with this time of year. Never did."

"Well, I happen to know someone who can help you. If... if you want her to?" she asked walking over to him.

"I do James. I'm sorry." he wrapped his arms around her and brought her close to him.

"And I happen to have something that will take your mind off of what's going on." she smirked up at him.

"Oh yeah, what's that?" he smiled looking down at her.

"Um... my birthday. I'm gonna be 25 in 3 days." she smiled.

"I know Baby. I'm... I'm keeping track." he smiled down at her.

"You better. Because I expect something amazing from my sexy fiance." she leaned up to kiss him. He kissed her deeper picking her up into his arms. The kiss turned passionate as he led her to the bed.

"Are you sure you're ready to..." he started as he lay her on the bed.

"I feel fine. It's been almost a month and I'm ready Roger." she smiled pulling him down to kiss her again. He reached into the night stand for a condom before they began to make love.

"How do you feel?" he smiled as she lay on his chest smiling.

"Great." she smiled looking up at him.

"You're sure? No pain or anything?"

"Nope. No pain or anything. I missed making love to you." she crawled up to kiss his tender lips. Their kiss was interrupted by the door opening and closing gently again. "Someone's home. We gotta get up." she smiled at him.

"Do we have to? I wanna stay here a little longer. I... I missed holding my girl like this." he smiled at her.

"I missed you too, but we have society to get back to." she smiled, kissing him before getting up from the bed and getting dressed.

"James." he called out looking up at her.

"What Baby?" she smiled slithering into her jeans.

"I love you. Thanks um... thanks for putting up with me." he rolled over onto his side and leaning up on his elbow.

"Roger, I love you too. That's why I put up with you." she leaned over the bed to caress his cheek.

"I don't deserve you, you know that, right?" he asked looking over at her.

"Roger Davis, listen to me. You deserve every good thing that happens in your life. You just need to believe that you do." she looked down at him intently before reaching down to pick up her long sleeve t-shirt.

"Before you, I... I used to think I deserved every bad thing that happened to me."

"You don't still believe that, do you?" she sat on the bed next to him running the brush through her long blond hair.

"No James, I... I don't still believe that." he smiled at her before getting up to get dressed.

"I'm gonna see who came home. Maybe we can go out to eat." she looked down at him.

"Yeah, that sounds like fun. Maybe it's Collins and we could finally meet who ever is keeping him out all the time."

"Possibly." she smiled leaving the room. Maureen was sitting in the kitchen drinking a glass of water and Mark was standing over her. "Hey, Roger and I were thinking of going out to dinner tonight. Do either of you have a number for Collins? We wanted to see if he was up for introducing us to his new man." Jami asked looking over at them.

"No, we... we don't know where he is." Maureen told her quietly.

"What's the matter you guys? You're acting weird." she asked looking up at Mark, who looked like he was on another planet.

"We... we just got home from the doctor. I'm... I'm um..." Maureen stuttered looking up at her.

"Spit it out Maureen. You're scaring me." Jami was very impatient.

"I'm pregnant Jami." Maureen blurted out looking over at Jami, her voice was quiet and cautious.

"That's... that's great." Jami tried to sound enthused, but obviously was a bit saddened as well.

"I'm sorry Jami. I know..." Maureen started before Jami interrupted her.

"Sorry? Why are you sorry Maureen? You and Mark are having baby. You have nothing to be sorry about. This is wonderful news. I'm happy for you. Both of you." she smiled as she made her way over to hug Maureen.

"Really?" Maureen asked getting up to hug her.

"Of course. You guys were happy when it was me and Roger. Why wouldn't we be happy when it's you two?" she asked looking over at her.

"I don't know, I mean, it's been less than a month since you..."

"Maureen." Mark looked down at her.

"Mark, you can say it, you know? I'm fine." Jami looked over at him.

"Yeah well, you say you're fine, but we still worry about you." he walked over to the couch as Roger came out of the bedroom.

"You two aren't acting like you're together again, are you? Because, that wasn't very funny the first time." Roger joked looking over at the girls.

"Maureen's pregnant." Jami announced excitedly.

"That's great man. I'm happy for you." Roger smiled reaching out to shake Mark's hand.

"Thanks man. We... we really appreciate that." Mark smiled at him.

"They were worried how I'd react." Jami looked over at him.\"Why were you guys worried. We're really fine. We plan on trying again after the wedding." he looked over at them.

"I know, it's just... you've been acting fine, but it's been barely a month and..." Mark started.

"We're fine Mark. But thank you for worrying about me." Jami smiled over at them.

"I'll always worry about you Jami, you know that." he smiled looking over at her.

"I know, that's why you'll always be my best friend."

"We have to find Collins. We need to party." Roger smiled at them.

"So we take it you're back to normal?" Maureen looked over at him.

"Yeah, um... about that. I'm sorry for the way I've been acting. But I'm better now. Promise." he looked over at Jami.

"Good, because you were being a major pain in the ass. More than usual." Maureen looked over at him.

"I... I know. I'm really sorry. I guess I just needed an ass kicking from my fiance to snap me back into reality." he smiled at Jami.

"No problem Baby. Anytime you need your ass kicked, I'll be there." she laughed looking over at him.

"Yeah well, you don't have to enjoy it so much." he laughed.

"Aw, but that's the best part of my job." she walked over to him.

"Glad you like your job." he smiled leaning down to wrap his arms around her waist and bringing her close to him. He leaned in to kiss her passionately.

"You two had sex!" Maureen called out looking over at them.

"Um... we're engaged Maureen. It's kind of one of the perks." Jami laughed looking over at her.

"You know what I mean. You guys haven't had sex since before Thanksgiving weekend. You just did, didn't you?" she asked walking over to them.

"Yeah, um... we kind of did. I was feeling better." Jami smiled at her as she nestled herself in Roger's arms.

"That's awesome. Things are finally getting back to normal." Maureen put her arms around Roger and Jami.

"Not exactly normal." Jami looked over at her.

"What do you mean?" Roger asked confused.

"Mama's driving me crazy about the wedding. She wants Aidan to walk me down the aisle." she looked up at him.

"Do whatever you want Baby. I got your back." he smiled at her.

"I just can't wait for this wedding to be over with so I can be your wife." she smiled up at him.

"Gee thanks James." he looked over at her.

"You know what I mean. I just can't take this planning and arguing with my mother about everything. It's my wedding. I should be able to do what I want to do." she looked over at him.

"After the wedding things'll settle down."

"And then we're gonna have Maureen and Mark's kid to make things insane again." Jami laughed looking over at her.

"Mine and Mark's kid, huh? That sounds weird, doesn't it?" Maureen asked looking over at her.

"It sounds wonderful Maureen." Jami smiled hugging Maureen again.

They left the loft for the Life Cafe. They hoped Collins would show up, but he didn't, so they celebrated Maureen's pregnancy just the four of them.


	39. Chapter 39

Later that night, after celebrating Maureen's pregnancy, they returned home to the loft. Maureen was tired, so she and Mark went to bed and Roger and Jami retired to their bedroom. "Can you believe Mark and Maureen are gonna have a baby?" Jami asked changing into her pajamas.

"I know. It's kind of wild. And we thought you and I were gonna be the ones to bring a baby into this family." he looked over at her.

"We will. I'm not giving up my dream of having your children." she looked over at him.

"Yeah, we're gonna fill this place up with kids." he walked over to her, wrapping his arms around her.

"I hate to say it, but I think we're gonna need a bigger place." she looked up at him.

"Maybe we can do something about that." he smiled at her.

"What does that mean?" she was confused.

"I didn't want to tell you earlier, with everything going on, but some record guys have been coming to see us. I mean, with the kid fucking up, I don't know what impression they're getting, but if I can get him to straighten up his act, we really have a shot at doing something." he looked over at her.

"Are you serious? You're gonna record a CD?" she asked looking up at him.

"I don't know. It's a possibility. I mean, like I said, I have to get the kid to clean up, but yeah. That's what they're talking about." he smiled as she rushed over to him.

"That's amazing Roger. I knew you could do it." she called out throwing her arms around him excitedly.

"I haven't done anything yet James. It's... it's up to the kid, but..."

"If I have to talk to that kid myself, I'll do it. No one stands in the way of my mans dream." she interrupted looking up at him.

"I love it when you get protective of me." he laughed holding her in his arms.

"There's not much I can protect you from, so I'll do what ever I can to protect you. No matter what." she smiled up at him.

"I know James." he smiled leaning down to kiss her. He held her face in his hands as they're kiss quickly turned passionate. He brought her to the bed, where they made love before falling asleep.

Early the next morning, Mark knocked on the bedroom door. "Jami. Jami, get up." he called out through the door. He learned from past experience that walking in to wake her up wasn't wise.

"James. James, Mark's calling you." Roger groaned looking down at his fiance.

"Go away Mark. I'd hate to kill you before your child is born." she called out holding on tight to Roger.

"Jami, get up. We need to talk. Now." he called out through the door.

"You better get up. He's freaking out out there." he looked down at her.

"I'll be right back. Keep my place warm."

"Don't kill him. I don't think I can keep it warm for 25 to life." he joked looking over at her.

"Ha ha. Wiseass." she laughed leaning up to kiss him before putting her robe on and leaving the room. "What Mark?" she called out closing the door behind her.

"The production company just called. They want to see us." he looked over at her.

"Why?" she asked looking over at him.

"If I knew that, I wouldn't be freaking out right about now." he looked over at her.

"Mark, calm down. They loved the film, they can't wait for my screenplay on Roger, so it can't be too bad, right?" she asked looking over at him.

"I don't know, but they don't call first thing in the morning to call us in for a meeting for nothing." he looked over at her. She could tell he was frustrated and nervous.

"When do they need to see us?" she asked looking over at him.

"In an hour." he looked over at her.

"I'll go get ready. It'll be OK Mark. Don't worry about it." she looked over at him before going into her bedroom where Roger was holding her side of the blanket up for her to rejoin him. "Sorry Baby. The production company needs to see me and Mark in an hour." she looked over at him. He looked so inviting, so tempting.

"What do you think it's about?" he asked looking over at her.

"I don't know, but Mark's freaking out. You know how much he hates uncertainty." she turned to go through her drawers for clothes to wear.

"He has a kid to support now. I can't blame him." he looked over at her.

"God, Mark's gonna be a father. I still can't get over that." she turned to look at him.

"I know. I still look at him and see that geeky kid I met in a club all those years ago. Camera in hand with Maureen stealing the spotlight." he laughed looking over at her.

"I have to start getting ready. I think Mark's in danger of having an aneurysm out there." she turned away from him again to finish picking out her outfit.

"Are you OK Jami?" he asked getting up from the bed.

"Yeah, I... I really am. I'm not as upset as I thought I'd be." she turned to look up at him as he stood before her in his boxer shorts.

"Me neither. I guess we really are OK, huh?" he asked looking down at her.

"Yeah, I guess we are." she smiled. She finished taking her clothes out and began getting dressed.

Approximately an hour later, she and Mark were sitting in the waiting room at the production studio. There was a beautiful brunette sitting in what used to be Jami's chair. She was shuffling papers and handling phone calls as a middle aged woman came out of an office and called out for Jami and Mark. "Show time." Jami smiled reaching down for Mark's hand as they followed her into the office.

"Thank you both for coming in on such short notice. We really appreciate it." she smiled at her.

"No problem Ann. We're just a bit confused. What's this all about?" Jami asked looking over at her.

"Well, it's about your film. The finished one." she smiled sitting behind her desk as she directed Mark and Jami to sit in the chairs across the desk.

"What about?" Mark asked looking over at her.

"I know we said that we wanted to feature it in the spring film festival, but we've sent it out to some of the other film festivals on the west coast and they want it to start off some of their winter festivals." she smiled at them.

"Are you... are you kidding? That's great. Um... that is great, right?" Jami looked over at Mark before looking back at Ann.

"Yes Jami, it is." she laughed looking over at her.

"What would that involve?" Mark asked looking over at her.

"Well, you and Jami would go to the west coast and tour the festivals. It starts the first week in January and you'll be gone for 2 month, but this is a good thing for the two of you to do. The film would be shown and then there would be a brief Q & A afterwards." she smiled at them.

"Tour on the west coast? Are you... are you serious?" Jami was excited at the prospect of touring.

"I know this is bad timing Jami,. With your wedding coming up, but this is an incredible opportunity for the two of you." she leaned forward on the desk.

"Can... can we get back to you? I mean, there's a lot going on right now and we really do need to talk this over with Roger and Maureen about this before we can make any decisions." Jami asked as Mark sat speechless next to her.

"Of course, I understand. But I do need an answer before the week is through." she smiled at them.

"No problem. Thank you Ann. Thank you so much." Jami smiled as she and Mark got up and left the office. "You can talk now, you know?" she looked over at him as he looked as though he was deep in thought.

"How are we gonna go to the west coast Jami? Your wedding needs planning, Maureen just found out she's pregnant. Roger's band... How realistic is it for you and me to just skip town for a tour of the film festivals now?" he asked looking over at her.

"Why don't we talk to them first and see where to go from there?" she reached out for his hand.

"Sure, sure." he agreed as they walked home in silence. Both of them thinking about the prospect of touring, no doubt.

They entered the loft and Maureen and Roger were sitting in the living room, waiting for them. Roger was strumming his guitar as Maureen looked through a magazine. When they heard the door open, Roger quickly set down the guitar, looking up at them. "What happened?" he asked impatient.

"They... they want us to go to the west coast to tour the film festivals." Jami looked over at him excitedly.

"That's great James." he jumped up excitedly to collect her into his arms.

"I don't see how this is so great. I mean, your wedding still needs planning, we just found out Maureen's pregnant and your band is just about to take off. How could we possibly go on tour with the film for 2 months?" Mark asked going over to Maureen.

"Mark, you should do it. You don't get this opportunity every day." Maureen smiled at him.

"And who's gonna be here to take care of you during morning sickness, take you to the doctor, go out for your crazy cravings?" he asked looking over at her.

"Hello, um... I do live here too, you know. I can do it." Roger raised his hand looking over at his best friend.

"I... I can't ask you to do that Roger. You have enough going on." he looked up at him.

"Mark, Maureen's right. You don't get this opportunity every day. You and James worked really hard for this. You should go for it. I'll take care of Maureen." he smiled at him.

"How are you gonna take care of Maureen? On a good day she gets on your nerves. How are we gonna be able to leave you two alone and not worry that you're gonna kill each other?" Jami asked looking up at him.

"We've been getting along better." Roger whined looking down at her.

"Yeah, and he actually likes taking care of me. He cooks for me all the time. It makes him feel useful." she smiled at her.

"You should do it Baby. I'm so proud of you." he smiled lifting his hand up to caress her face.

"You're sure?" she asked looking up at Roger before glancing over at Maureen. They were both nodding enthusiastically. "Guess what Marky?" she smiled at Mark.

"I'm stuck with you for 2 months talking about how much you miss and love Roger." he groaned teasingly looking over at her.

"I am so proud of the both of you. And don't worry about the wedding. I'll take care of everything. I promise." Maureen smiled putting her arms around Mark.

"This is pretty exciting, isn't it?" he asked looking over at her.

"It's amazingly exciting." she smiled at him. Roger held Jami, beaming with pride as the door opened quietly, revealing Collins trying to sneak in to no avail.

"Thomas Byron Collins, where the hell have you been?" Jami asked looking over at him.

"Um... hey. Um... I..." he stuttered looking over at everyone.

"You have been gone for 3 days. Do you have any idea how worried you had us?" Jami put her hands on her hips facing him.

"I... I was just..." he was very nervous with everyone looked at him.

"Listen to him. He's stuttering like a kid." Roger teased looking over at him.

"You're not funny rock star boy. I'm just not..." he pointed at him.

"We're just teasing you. You missed some major news. We have a lot to catch up on." Jami smiled over at him.

"What's up?" he asked looking over at them.

"Finally, a full sentence." Roger looked over at him as Collins gave him a dirty look.

"Roger, quit teasing him." Jami slapped his chest smiling over at Collins.

"OK, well I'm home now, so does anyone want to tell me the big news or do you want to keep giving me shit?" he asked looking over at them.

"Well, let's see. Maureen's pregnant. Me and Mark are going on tour with our film." Jami smiled as he looked over at Mark and Maureen shocked.

"You're... pregnant? Really?" Collins smiled at them.

"We found out yesterday. We celebrated last night. You missed it." Maureen smiled at him as he walked briskly over to her.

"That's amazing." he smiled sitting next to her to hug her. "And you guys are going on tour with your movie? When did this happen?" he asked looking over at Jami.

"This morning. The production company held a meeting and told us the news." Jami smiled at him.

"Who's gonna take care of Maureen?" he asked.

"I am capable of taking care of myself, but Roger's gonna be here to help." she smiled at him.

"Roger's gonna be here with a hormonal Maureen? Are you guys so sure this is such a good idea?" Collins teased looking over at Jami.

"They'll be fine. He's probably gonna be handcuffed to the stove though." Jami laughed looking over at him.

"We need to celebrate. How about I take everyone out to lunch? I... I have some news of my own." he smiled at them.

"I hope it's about the new man in your life." Maureen smiled at him.

"Could be." he smiled mysteriously before getting up and going towards his room.

"I hate when he's cryptic like that." Jami laughed looking up at Roger.

"Takes a little getting used to, but you'll learn to appreciate it. Especially since he breaks the law so much, he's usually doing it to stop from making you an accessory." Roger laughed looking down at her.

"Ha ha." she looked up at him hanging on to the back of his shirt. When Collins came out of his room, they all went around to the Life Cafe. When they arrived a very attractive young man approached them.

"Thomas, I'm so glad you're here. And you brought friends. How nice." he smiled looking around at the two couples.

"Yes Thomas, how nice." Jami teased looking up at Collins who was obviously blushing.

"You're lucky I love you sweetheart." he whispered before looking at his gentleman friend. "Adam, I'd like you to meet my roommates. This is Mark and Maureen, and I"m sure you guessed that this is Roger and Jami. Mark and Maureen just found out that they're pregnant and Roger and Jami are getting married in the spring." he smiled at him.

"It's so nice to meet you Adam." Jami smiled up at him.

"The pleasure is all mine, my dear. Thomas has told me so much about you all. I've been nagging him to introduce us for the last 2 weeks." Adam smiled looking over at them.

"Why don't we all sit down and get to know each other? We have a lot to celebrate." Maureen smiled looking over at them.

"Congratulations Maureen. A baby is a wonderful thing." Adam smiled down at her.

"Thank you Adam. It is, isn't it?" she smiled looking over at Mark who seemed to be beaming. They celebrated with an intimate lunch at the Life Cafe.


	40. Chapter 40

It was Jami's birthday. Roger sat in his bedroom staring at the box that was sitting on the bed. Jami and Mark had a meeting with the production company to confirm the itinerary for the tour. As he started at the box, there was a knock at the bedroom door. "Roger. Are you in here?" Maureen called out.

"Yeah Maureen. Come on in." he looked up at the door as it slowly opened.

"Hey. What are you doing in here?" she asked quietly walking over to the bed.

"I... I picked up Jami's birthday present and I was just waiting for her to come home." he looked up at her.

"What did you get her?" she asked looking at the box.

"Something she needs. Um... is everything OK? I mean, are you OK?" he asked looking over at her.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I just heard you come in a little while ago and I got worried when you went right to your room."

"Yeah, um... sorry. I was just doing some thinking." he looked up at her.

"I'm gonna miss them too." she looked down at him.

"Yeah, but at least she's gonna be in good hands." he smiled up at her.

"Mark would never let anything happen to her. He loves her almost as much as you do." she sat next to him on the bed.

"He loves you Maureen. He's the father of your kid." he turned towards her.

"Yeah, but he also loves Jami. I see the way he is with her. They're good for each other." she smiled at him.

"Maureen..." Roger started when Maureen interrupted him.

"It's OK. He needs someone who understands him. Someone who is obsessive about their art as he is. I'm not jealous, really. I love Jami too." she reached out for his hand.

"I guess that makes three of us, huh?" Roger took her hand and held it tenderly.

"You did good Davis. She's everything you always deserved. I'm glad you found each other." she smiled at him.

"Mark helped. A lot. When she was too shy and I was too blind, he stepped in and set us up. He gave us what we have."

"I guess he saved your life twice, huh?" tears rose in her beautiful green doe eyes.

"More times than that, but who's counting?" he smirked at her.

"He saved my life too. Gave me the love and acceptance that I've been looking for, in all the wrong places, my whole life." a tear had escaped her eyes, falling gently down her face.

"You always had his love Maureen. And now you're having his kid." he leaned over taking her into his arms.

"I'm scared to death and excited at the same time. Is that crazy?" she laughed through her tears.

"No, it's not crazy Maureen. For the first time since I've known you, you're actually thinking rationally. I was so terrified when I found out that Jami was pregnant. I know I wanted it to happen, but I was afraid I wouldn't be able to take care of them. But I'll take care of you while they're gone. I'm not gonna let anything happen to Mark's kid. I owe him that much." he leaned down to kiss her head.

"We both owe him a lot more than that." she pulled away from him, looking up into his eyes.

"You've redeemed yourself Maureen. At least in my eyes. But you don't need to worry about Mark. He's always loved you. He always knew you belonged together." he smiled at her.

"He always had more faith than any of us, huh?" she wiped the tears from her eyes.

"He's a good man Maureen." he smiled at her.

"I guess we both came a long way, didn't we?" she asked.

"Yeah, we sure did." he smiled thinking about Jami before looking around his bedroom at the pictures of him and Jami that hung all over the room. He noticed one thing that was similar in all of the pictures. He was happy. Happier than he had ever been in his life. Before or after contracting HIV. He knew he and Jami were meant to be together, just like Mark and Maureen were.

"Roger, Maureen, are you guys here?" Jami called out as they entered the loft.

"We better go out there. They're liable to think we're having an affair." Maureen joked looking over at him.

"Oh yeah, I'm gonna have an affair with you when I have Jami." he teased looking down at her.

"You would be lucky to have me as a mistress." she laughed getting up from the bed.

"If you say so." he laughed as they left the room.

"There you are. Is there something we should know before we leave for our tour in 2 and a half weeks?" Jami joked walking over to Roger.

"Yeah right. Why would I sleep with Maureen when the most beautiful woman in the world agreed to marry me?" he smiled leaning down to kiss her.

"Good answer pretty boy." she laughed wrapping his arms around him.

"Happy birthday Jami." Maureen smiled going over to hug her.

"Thank you Maureen." she hugged her back. "How do you feel sweetie?" she asked looking over at her.

"Great. A little tired, but no morning sickness yet, so I guess that's good." she smiled at her.

"Well when you do, Roger's very helpful. He'll stand in the doorway apologizing and then make you laugh." she smiled looking up at him.

"What? I didn't know what to say." he whined looking down at her.

"I know Baby. Maybe you'll get good practice with Maureen for next time." she looked up at him.

"I'm sure of it." he leaned down, kissing the top of her head.

"What's going on out here? With all this damn noise, how's a boy supposed to get any sleep?" Collins asked coming out of his bedroom.

"You're home? I'm shocked." Jami teased looking over at him.

"You're lucky I love you sweetheart. Happy birthday." he smiled shuffling over to kiss her head.

"Thank you sweetie." she smiled shifting from Roger to hug him.

"Why don't we do presents now? While everyone's here." Maureen smiled at her.

"Great idea. I'll go get ours." Mark smiled rushing off to his and Maureen's bedroom.

"Why don't you get yours Roger?" Maureen smiled at him.

"I'll be right back." he smiled looking down at Jami as he went into their bedroom to retrieve the box that was sitting on the bed.

"Come on Jami, sit here." Maureen smiled dragging Jami over to the couch as Collins disappeared into his bedroom.

"You guys didn't have to get me anything. I have everything I could ever want." she argued looking over at Maureen.

"Nonsense. Everyone deserves presents on their birthday." Maureen smiled as Mark, Collins and Roger came out of their respective rooms at the same time.

"OK, who goes first?" Collins asked looking at the boys.

"How about you guys go first? I'll... I'll wait until last." Roger volunteered looking over at them.

"Fine. Here sweetheart. This is mine and Adam's." Collins smiled handing Jami the box he retrieved from his bedroom.

"Thank you sweetie." she smiled, opening the small box. "Oh my... this is beautiful." she looked down at the necklace.

"It's an infinity symbol. It means without end. It represents the love and life you brought into this place. I... I saw it and immediately thought of you." he smiled at her.

"Thank you so much. I love it." she smiled as Maureen took the box from her, taking the necklace out and put it around her friend's neck.

"OK, us next." Maureen smiled looking up at Mark as he handed the box he held to Jami.

"What did you do Mark Cohen?" she laughed opening the box. It was a huge photo album. The photo on the cover was of her, Mark and Roger, before Maureen and Collins came back into their lives. "Oh Mark. I always loved this picture." she smiled looking down at it. As she opened the book, there were more pictures of her, Roger and Mark. Pictures of Maureen and Collins were added too.

"I wanted to do something special for you." he smiled uncomfortably.

"I love it Mark. This is so amazing." she stared down at the pictures as tears stung her eyes.

"Well, I didn't do it to make you cry. Geez Jami, are you trying to provoke Roger to kick my ass?" he joked trying to lighten the mood.

"I'm not crying. I... I'm happy. I love this so much Mark. I just can't believe you took all the time to do something like this for me." she looked up at him. He could see the tears in her eyes.

"Of course I would Jami. You're one of my best friends. I'll... I'll do anything for you." he stuttered looking over at her.

"Thanks Mark. You don't know how much that means to me." she smiled up at him.

"Enough of this. Now Roger." Maureen took control, taking the box away from her as Roger stood over her still holding his box.

"Come on Roger. Hand it over." she smiled wiping her eyes.

"I... I hope you like it. It's not much, it's just... something you really need." he was uncomfortable following Mark's thoughtful gift.

"I can't... oh my... it's a..." she was breathless as she unwrapped the box, seeing the picture on the cover.

"Laptop? How could you afford a laptop computer?" Maureen finished looking down at the box.

"Been saving money. I... I figured that since James is a real screenwriter now, she should have the right supplies for it. Oh, and my mom said she was gonna set up an internet account for you, so you can email and stuff. I um, I hope you know how to do that stuff because I haven't a clue what what the hell internet and email even is." he laughed looking down at her.

"This is... Roger this is incredible. I've never had anything other than my notebooks and my typewriter. Now I have a laptop computer. I... I love it." she handed Maureen the box and jumped up to hug Roger. Kissing his face over and over.

"Sure, he gets a hug and a kiss, but we get a thoughtful little thank you. Guess it's good to be a rock star." Collins joked looking over at them.

"Oh stop it. I love all of my gifts. Thank you guys so much." she rushed over to hug him before rushing over to Mark to hug him. "I love my album. It's absolutely amazing." she smiled at him.

"I knew you'd love it. Um... I hate to ruin the surprise, but Heather got you a printer so you can print your screenplays out on paper." he smiled at her.

"That's amazing. I can't believe it. Last year on my birthday, I was alone. This year, I have more love then I ever knew existed." she smiled at her fiance and their friends.

"It's not over yet. Christmas is next week and then New Years..." Collins started when Roger interrupted him.

"Then a wedding." Roger smiled at her.

"Yeah Baby. A big, beautiful wedding. If my mother doesn't drive me crazy first." she smiled looking over at him.

"It'll be OK Baby. She's just excited." he smiled at her.

"So, you guys are gonna be gone in 2 and a half weeks, huh?" Collins asked looking over at them.

"Yeah, 2 months of Mark's whining." Jami teased looking over at Mark.

"You're not gonna be a picnic to hang with either. Complaining about missing Roger and the wedding planning shit. It's gonna be a nightmare." Mark looked over at her.

"Here, we thought we'd have to worry about Roger and Maureen here together without you to kick their asses." Collins laughed looking over at Jami.

"Nah, we'll be OK, right Roger?" Maureen smiled at Roger.

"Yeah, we'll be fine." he smiled holding Jami in his arms.

The rest of the day was spent celebrating Jami's birthday. They went to the Life Cafe for lunch and then out to a club for some wild and crazy fun. She and Maureen did a lot of dancing as the boys watched happily.


	41. Chapter 41

Christmas and New Years has come and gone. It's now 3 days before Jami and Mark leave for their tour and Jami is standing in her bedroom, staring down at the suitcase she had packed and repacked over the course of the past 2 weeks. Her laptop lay dormant on the bed next to it. She wondered how she was gonna live for 2 months off of all the clothes she had packed in this small suitcase. She wondered how Roger and Maureen were gonna make it without her and Mark there to help buffer for them, but they had been getting along better lately. Roger's not only been cooking breakfast, but lunch and snacks for her as well. They would laugh and talk while Roger cooks. He teases her about getting fat and she taunts him about missing Jami while she and Mark are on tour. Jami loves standing just out of their sight and listening to them laugh.

Maureen hadn't experienced much morning sickness, but she was moody and emotional as of late. Every time Jami and Mark would talk about the tour, she would have to excuse herself. Mark would go after her, but she would just wind up throwing him out of their bedroom. Roger would go in and make her laugh. It frustrated Mark, but Jami explained that it was just because she's hormonal and Roger had a way with her. On this particular day, Roger's at rehearsal and Mark and Maureen are at the doctor. There is a knock at the bedroom door as Jami stands by the bed with her hands on her hips staring at the suitcase. "Come in." she calls out without looking up.

"Hey sweetheart. I thought everyone was gone." Collins smiled entering the room.

"No, I needed to finish packing. Roger's at rehearsal and Mark and Maureen are at the doctor." she looked up at him.

"Anything I can help with?" he asked looking over at her.

"Nah, I got it. I'm just wondering how I'm gonna get all the clothes I need into this one bag." she looked up as he stood over her.

"You know, you can do laundry." he laughed draping his arm around her shoulders.

"Of course I know that. I just don't know what I should pack for a film tour. Cold weather, warm weather, ceremonies. I don't want to look like a slob." she looked up at him.

"I'm sure you'll figure it out. Just don't over think it." he smiled leaning down to kiss her head.

"You're as much help as your buddy, you do realize that, don't you?" she teased leaning into him.

"Sorry sweetheart. I'm still a guy." he laughed noticing her laptop on the bed. "Have you gotten any more writing done since you got your laptop?" he asked looking over at her.

"A little. I just got done putting everything I already had written down on it. Now I'm just... I'm trying to write about when Angel died and I'm not sure how to handle it." she looked up at him.

"Oh. Um... I'm sure you heard all about it from Mark and Roger." he sighed quietly.

"I did, but I... I don't know how to handle it. I want to be sensitive to you and the others, but it needs to be written, you know?"

"It effected all of us. Roger especially. Until that point, he never gave much though to his mortality. Seeing her go like that... it smacked him right in the face. Like a brick fell on him, you know?" he looked down at her.

"I... I know. I just... I know it effected you too. More than Roger." she sat on the bed looking up at him.

"Sweetheart, I came to terms with how I would go a long time ago. Angel wasn't the first person I watched be taken by this, so I knew what I was getting into when I met her. I knew seeing her go like was was always a possibility. I... I worried about the others. Roger and Mark in particular." he slid the suitcase to the other side of the bed before sitting next to her.

"Why were you worried about them? You were the one who was losing the man you love?" she asked curiously.

"Because to them, HIV were just letters in a diagnosis. To me it was real. It wasn't real to them. I think Angel's purpose was to bring everyone together. Mark and Roger most of all." he explained taking hold of her hand.

"What... what do you mean?" she was confused at that statement.

"Mark helped Roger through a lot, but he let Roger lead him. He always followed Roger. Angel's death gave Mark the strength to stand up to Roger. When Angel died, Roger ran away to Santa Fe because not only was he afraid to lose Mimi next, he was afraid that he would be too. Before he left, Mark called him on it. They got into it pretty good from what Mark told me."

"Yeah, he... he told me about that. He regretted it right afterwards." she looked down at her lap.

"Why? I think it was the best thing he could have done." Collins asked.

"Because he was afraid that he would never see him again. He didn't want that to be the last conversation they ever had." she explained as tears rose in her eyes.

"I... I guess I see that logic in that." he agreed nodding his head.

"I... I don't know. I mean, I wasn't there, so I guess I'm afraid that I'm not the right person to write this part." she looked over at him.

"You're the only person to write it Jami. You're the only one who can really dig into what Roger was going through then." he gave her hand a loving squeeze.

"I'm not exactly impartial, am I?" she asked wiping a stray tear from her cheek.

"That's the point sweetheart. There was a lot of emotion at that time in his life. Emotion he didn't know how to handle. That... that needs to come through. You're emotionally connected to it even though you weren't there." he smiled lifting his other hand to caress her soft cheek.

"Yeah, I... I think I can do that." she smiled at him.

"You can do anything James. You brought all of us together again, not only physically, but emotionally too." he smiled kissing her head gently.

"Roger was right. You are a great big brother." she smiled at him.

"Well with all the big brothers you have, I take that as a compliment sweetheart." he smiled looking into her beautiful blue eyes.

"You should." she smiled as they got up and went into the living room. They sat going through some of Collins' old photo albums and laughed about the clothes and the hair styles. Especially Roger's ever changing image when he was younger.

Approximately an hour later, Roger entered the loft. He was whistling, which was unusual for him. "Hey Baby." he smiled at her.

"OK, what's up?" she laughed wondering why he seemed so happy.

"Oh nothing much. Just happy to be home with my girl." he smiled plopping down next to her.

"You're acting odder than usual, so spill it." she smiled as he put his arm around her shoulders.

"OK, I had a meeting with a record exec and he wants us to record a demo." he boasted looking over at her.

"That's amazing Rog." Collins reacted as Jami struggled to catch her breath.

"Oh my... Roger that's great." she through her arms around him.

"I know. I'm really nervous though." he looked over at her.

"What are nervous about?" she asked looking over at him.

"The kid. I mean, Nate and I talked to him and it seems to have gotten through, but... he's still a ticking time bomb." he looked over at her.

"It'll be fine Roger. He wants this as much as you other guys do. Plus, if he messes this up for you, he'll have me to deal with." she smiled at him.

"I'll be sure to let him know." he laughed holding her in his arms. He looked over at the album that was sitting on Collins' lap. "Oh lord, why would you break that out?" he laughed looking over at it.

"Just showing your girl some pics that I know you neglected to show her." Collins laughed looking over at him.

"You really hate me, don't you?" he looked up at him as the page with him with blue hair sat open.

"What? I like the blue hair. You were very creative back then." Jami teased looking up at him.

"Yeah, thanks for that man." Roger smirked at him.

"No prob man. I was thinking of having this one framed." he pointed to the picture of Roger with insanely bleached blond hair.

"You do, you die." he warned laughing at him.

"Fine, I'll do it. I'm not afraid of you." Jami smiled looking up at him.

"Oh no?" he smiled reaching around to start tickling her.

"Roger stop it." she squealed wiggling around next to him.

"Say you won't." he taunted as his fingers tickled her sides.

"Never." she squealed taunting him.

"Fine, so I won't stop tickling you." he laughed as she squirmed in his arms.

"Roger stop. I'm gonna pee my pants." she laughed shutting her eyes tight.

"I don't care. I'm gonna be a rock star. I'll buy a new couch." he tormented her.

"OK, OK. Fine, I won't. I won't. Now stop." she laughed out loud as she settled down due to him terminating his attack.

"You are so easy." he laughed looking down at her.

"Shut up. You just know how to get your way." she laughed looking up at him.

"A talent that has come in handy more than once." he squeezed her close to him.

"Ugh, you are such an ass." she groaned leaning her head into his strong chest.

"But I'm your ass." he smiled leaning down to kiss her head.

"Yep." she smiled looking up at him.

"I... I was thinking that I could call Adam and see if we could all go out tonight. Considering Jami and Mark are gonna be gone in a few days." Collins smiled over at them.

"As long as we make it an early night. I have a meeting at the record company tomorrow and I don't want to be tired and hung over." Roger looked over at him as he had his arms draped over Jami's shoulder.

"And I'm sure you want to spend all the time you can alone with your girl before she goes." he smiled.

"That too." he smiled looking down at her.

"You're really gonna miss me, aren't you?" she asked looking up at him.

"You have no idea James." he smiled quietly bringing her closer to him.

"I'm... gonna miss you too." she stared into his green eyes.

"I know." he smiled playing with her hair.

Later in their bedroom, Jami's pulling the Roger's old jersey over her head as he sat on the bed staring at her. His fiance. The woman he's gonna marry. As the jersey fell down her petite body, she looked over at him. "What are you looking at big boy?" she laughed looking over at him.

"Marry me James." he blurted out breathlessly.

"I am Roger. Don't you remember?" she laughed kneeling on the bed in front of him showing him her engagement ring.

"I mean now. Before you leave. Let's just go to city hall and do it. Just you and me." he reached out for her hands, holding them tenderly in his.

"How? We're getting married in Jersey in a 4 months." she asked looking over at him.

"We can still do that. But... I... I don't wanna wait." he stuttered looking into her blue eyes.

"Why?" she asked confused.

"Because I love you and I can't wait another day for you to be my wife James."

"Roger, nothing is gonna happen while I'm on tour, you know?" she let go of his hand to caress his face.

"I know Jami, that's not what this is about. It's just... I don't wanna wait to start my life with you. I... I wanna be your husband right now. I've... I've been thinking about it and the more I think about it, the more I hate the idea of waiting." he enjoyed the feel of her soft hand on his rough skin.

"You're gonna be pathetic while I'm gone, aren't you?" she smiled at him.

"You have no idea." he smiled at her.

"OK. We'll go to city hall, but I don't want to tell anyone. It'll kill them that we did it without them." she smiled as she saw his eyes light up.

"Really?" he asked surprised.

"Yeah. I mean, I like the idea of it just being you and me. Our wedding, our way." she smiled as he reached out to collect her into his strong arms.

"We can do it tomorrow. First thing." he smiled looking down at her.

"What about your meeting at the record company?" she asked looking over at him.

"OK, after my meeting. Come on Baby. We can do it. I'll be dressed up anyway." he smiled down at her.

"OK Roger. Then we can have a wedding night before me and Mark leave for the tour." she held him close.

"I love you James." he whispered in her ear before kissing her head tenderly.

"I know Roger. I love you too." she smiled feeling safe in his arms.


	42. Chapter 42

Roger awoke the next morning to an empty bed. He lifted his head up to see if Jami was still in the bedroom. Hearing her voice in the living room, he got out of bed to find her. When he opened the bedroom door he was greeted by Jami arguing with her mother. Something that had become common place in the loft. "Mama, stop it. This is my wedding and I don't need Aidan to give me away like some prize." she argued looking up at Roger, obviously in need of rescue.

"Baby, breakfast is ready." he called out taking the hint.

"Mama, I gotta go. Roger's got breakfast ready. I'll call you later." she blurted out to get her mother off the phone. Mrs. Barnett said goodbye when Jami hung up. "You are such a lifesaver. I swear that woman is trying to piss me off." she got up from the window seat, going into the kitchen.

"She only wants you to have a perfect wedding, since your father's not here." he looked over at her.

"I'm not into that old fashioned shit that she's into. I don't know why she insists on shoving it down my throat."

"Because you're her only daughter and she wants everything to be beautiful." he smiled down at her.

"Oh yeah, Aidan handing me off to you is beautiful. Give me a break Roger. It's an archaic ritual." she commented sarcastically.

"You told her no, right?" he asked shuffling around in the refrigerator.

"Of course I did. I'm not being involved in something so humiliating."

"Good for you Baby. Do you wanna eat?" he asked looking over at her.

"Yeah, please. I'm starving." she sat on the stool by the table.

"So I was thinking we can leave right after breakfast and do that thing." he suggested being vague.

"That thing? That thing is our wedding Roger." she looked over at him flustered.

"I was trying to be stealth about it. I didn't want anyone to hear me." he told her quietly leaning down to her.

"At this point, I don't care who knows. It's our life and I think we should be able to do whatever we want to do."

"Of course you care." he looked down at her.

"No, I really don't." she leaned her elbow on the counter before running her fingers through her hair.

"What is with you this morning? Did your mom set you off in such a foul mood?" he asked stunned at his fiance's reaction.

"I don't know. I... I'm sorry. I guess I'm just PMSing. I just feel so irritable." she looked up at him with her bright blue eyes.

"Listen, we're gonna do what we gotta do to get married our way and then we'll do it again for everyone else. But either way, we'll be married and PMSing or not, you're my woman." he smiled as he leaned in close to her, taking her hands in his.

"Your woman, huh?" she smirked looking up at him.

"Yep, you got a problem with that?" he teased reaching out to caress her cheek.

"Surprisingly no. I'm... good with that." she smiled leaning in to kiss him.

"Good, because I plan on staying around for my woman for a long time."

"You better, or your woman is gonna kick your sorry ass back to life." she laughed looking up at him.

"Somehow, I don't doubt that Baby." he smiled kissing her nose before turning around to make a wedding morning breakfast for his bride.

"What should I wear?" she asked looking up at him.

"Whatever you want Baby. This is for us. No one to impress, no one to hover. Just you and me coming together in holy matrimony." he smiled over at her.

"OK. I'm... I'm gonna go take a shower." she smiled at him before going into the bathroom.

"Did you hear that? They're getting married today." Maureen whispered from the other side of hers and Mark's bedroom door.

"Aren't you pissed? I mean, all the work you guys are putting into the wedding in Jersey and she and Roger are eloping before we go out on tour?" he asked confused.

"Nah, let them have this. The need this. They deserve something for just the two of them." she smiled slinging her arm around his shoulders.

"You never cease to amaze me Maureen Johnson." he smiled at her.

"That just means she'll stop fighting us on everything because she got the wedding she wanted." she smiled.

"Ahh, I knew there was a motive somewhere in there." he laughed quietly.

"But of course." she smirked before opening the bedroom door. "Are you cooking? Tell me you're cooking." she called out rushing over to the counter.

"Of course Maureen." he laughed looking over at her.

"Yesss. I'm starving to death here." she looked over at him.

"You know, if you keep eating for 2, you'll never lose the baby weight once the baby is born." he teased her mixing the eggs.

"I have a feeling with your cooking, baby weight or not, I'll be fat." she laughed as Mark entered the main room casually.

"Hey Mark. Are you all packed?" Roger asked whisking the eggs.

"Yeah, I'm just still not sure we should be going on tour right now. I mean, with Maureen being pregnant and everything. It's bad timing." he looked over at him.

"Don't worry about Maureen. I'll take good care of her. We still have that duct tape and rope in the hall closet, right?" he teased as Maureen covered her mouth to stop from laughing too loudly.

"Roger, I swear to God..." he started looking over at him.

"Don't worry man. I'm not gonna tie her up. Much." he laughed looking over at Maureen who was cracking up.

"You're gonna give him a heart attack and then you have to raise his kid. Do you really want that?" Maureen laughed looking up at him.

"Oh shit, no. Never mind. I will not tie Maureen up." he laughed looking over at Mark, who didn't look amused. "I will not tie Maureen up. I will not tie Maureen up." he muttered to himself jokingly pouring the eggs into the preheated pan.

"You're not funny Davis. No matter what Jami says." Mark laughed looking over at him.

"Relax man. One more day and you and James'll be on tour, promoting the film you worked really hard on." he smiled at him.

"I know. I am kind of excited." he smiled at him.

"Just... can you do me a favor?" Roger asked turning to look over at him.

"Anything Roger." Mark turned serious.

"Take care of her, OK? I mean, I know she can take care of herself, but she's my life and you know how clumsy she can be. Don't.... don't let her fall down any stairs, OK?" he looked over at him.

"You can count on me bro. I'll take care of her as if she was Maureen." Mark reassured him as both Roger and Maureen laughed.

"Try not to take care of her that much." he laughed as Maureen raised her hand for a high five to Roger.

"You two are sick. I swear." Mark laughed going back into his room.

"Oh yeah, we'll be fine." Roger laughed looking down at Maureen.

"Yeah, we're both 12 year old boys." Maureen laughed as Roger turned back around to tend to the eggs.

"You're in a good mood this morning, what are you guys up to for your final day together before the tour?" she asked looking up at him.

"A little of this, a little of that." he laughed turning his head towards her.

"A little city hall wedding possibly?" she smirked looking over at him.

"How... how do you..." he stuttered turning to her.

"We heard you from the other room. Um... it's OK. We won't tell anyone. And we won't try to horn in on you guys either. We just... we just want you to know that we understand." she looked over at him.

"It's just... I... I didn't want to wait for her to be my wife." he looked over at her.

"I understand. I think it's great that you guys are doing this just the two of you. That's the way it should be." she smiled at him.

"Thanks, I... I appreciate that. Can... can you not tell Jami that you know please? She'll feel really bad and I don't want her feeling bad about anything today." he smiled at her.

"No problem. My lips are sealed. I promise." she smiled at him as he continued to make breakfast.

"Thanks. I... I guess if I have to be without my wife for 2 months, I'm glad I'm gonna be stuck with you." he smiled at her.

"Yeah, me... me too." she smiled as he finished the eggs, taking them off the stove. Just then the bathroom door opened and Jami came out wearing her fluffy bathrobe. "Hey Jami. Are you excited about the tour?" Maureen asked turning around to look at her.

"I guess. I mean, we're really gonna miss you and Roger, but it's a great opportunity for us." she smiled at her.

"Yeah, it's a great opportunity sweetie." Maureen smiled as Roger put a plate in front of her.

"Come on Baby. Sit down and eat." Roger smiled at Jami as she stood just outside the bedroom door.

"Sure Baby." she smiled at him walking over to the counter to eat her breakfast.

Later that day, Roger and Jami stood in front of city hall. He reached down for her hand before looking down at her. "Are you ready Baby?" he asked. He was wearing the outfit he wore the night of their first official date and she had on a long off white dress.

"Mhm. I'm ready." she smiled looking up at him before climbing the stairs to enter the building. They went to the marriage license bureau and filed for their marriage license. They were married by a judge, just the two of them. They went back to the loft as husband and wife. Spending the rest of the day together with their friends, before retiring to their bed for their wedding night.


	43. Chapter 43

The next morning, everyone in the loft was up early. Mark and Jami rushed around, making sure they had everything for the tour. Collins sat on the window seat reading a magazine, while Roger and Maureen prepared a going away breakfast. "Are you guys sure you have everything?" Maureen asked looking over at him as he exited the bedroom.

"Yes Maureen, I have everything. Jami, are you ready?" he called out placing his bags by the door.

"Yeah, I'm... I'm almost ready. Gimme a minute." she yelled from the bedroom. She was sitting on the edge of the bed feeling feverish and achy. She took a deep breath before getting up from the bed to finish getting ready to leave.

She entered the main area to see Roger and Maureen fluttering around the kitchen. "There you are Baby. Come on. I'm making a big breakfast for you guys before you go." Roger smiled at her.

"I... I really can't. Our car'll be here any minute. Thanks though." she smiled putting on a brave face.

"You gotta eat Baby." he argued looking over at her.

"Will you leave her alone. She's probably nervous. She's showing her film to thousands of people." Collins defended her getting up from the window seat.

"Thank you Collins. Come on Mark, we gotta go." she rushed to the door carrying her bags.

"Let me help you get these downstairs." Roger wiped his hands on a dishtowel before rushing over to her.

"I got it." she looked up at him as he picked up her bags.

"So do I. See." he smiled leaning down to kiss her.

"You're gonna miss having me around, you know?" she lifted her hand up to his face, caressing his rough cheek.

"You bet your ass I am." he smiled before taking her bags and leaving the loft.

"Well, this is it sweetheart. Be good and keep Mark in line, OK?" Collins smiled walking over to her.

"I will. You keep Roger in line, OK? He's gonna need it with me gone." she reached out for his waist, holding him close to her.

"Don't worry. He'll be OK." he smiled kissing her head lightly.

"I know." she smiled looking over at Maureen who was holding on to Mark. "Hey Maureen, get over here."

"I'm here. I'm just... I'm gonna miss you guys and you're leaving me with Roger. He says he'll be nice, but I'm afraid he's gonna try to poison me." she joked looking over at her.

"He will not try to poison you. But to be on the safe side, don't eat anything you don't watch him make." she teased her friend.

"Deal. Take care of Mark, OK? Don't let him lock himself in the hotel. Make him get out and live a little." she smiled at her.

"Maureen, I'm not gonna make him go out and get drunk." Jami laughed.

"Not that. Just... make him enjoy himself and what's happening to him, OK?" she smiled.

"No problem. Take care of Roger, OK? He's the love of my life." she whispered leaning in to hug her.

"It's the least I can do for my best friend." she smiled hugging her back.

"We better go Jami." Mark cleared his throat to get her attention.

"OK. Um... try not to destroy the place while we're gone with any wild parties." Jami joked looking over at Collins.

"We'll be a bunch of nuns and monks, I swear." Collins smiled raising his left arm.

"Wrong hand wise ass." Jami laughed looking over at him.

"Oh right. Sorry." he laughed dropping his left hand and raising his right.

"Bye." Jami waved as she left the apartment. When she got outside, Roger was sitting on the stairs. "Are you OK?" she looked down at him.

"No, my wife is leaving for 2 months with my best friend." he smirked looking up at her.

"Just think, it'll make me appreciate you more when I get back." she laughed sitting down next to him.

"Funny James." he looked up at him.

"I love you Roger." she leaned in to lay her head on his shoulder.

"I love you too Mrs. Davis." he laced his arm around her shoulder, bringing her closer to him. "You have a fever." he placed his lips to her forehead.

"I'm fine. Maybe it's just as well that I'm going. I wouldn't want you to get sick." she pulled back from him slowly.

"Just make sure you take care of yourself, OK? Plenty of liquids and a lot of rest." he looked over at her.

"Don't worry. I'll be fine. I'm gonna miss you so much." she looked up at him holding back tears.

"Me too Baby. Just make sure Mark takes care of my wife or he'll have me to answer to." he looked down at her.

"He can never take care of me better than my husband does." she leaned up to kiss him.

"You better believe it." he smiled looking down at her as the door opened behind them.

"Are... are you ready?" Mark asked looking down at Jami.

"Yeah, I'm... I'm ready Mark." she looked up at him.

"I love you Jami." Roger whispered kissing her deeper.

"I love you too Roger. Um... I'll... I'll call you when I get to the hotel." she held back her tears.

"This should make it easier." he pulled out a cell phone from his pocket.

"Where did you...?" she stared down at the phone.

"I bought it for you. I... I have one of my own too. The number is programmed into yours. Just hit the number one and I'll be there." he whispered looking down at her.

"I love it Roger." she threw her arms around his neck, holding him tight.

"That's awesome Roger." Mark smiled looking down at him.

"I... I got you one too man. Maureen and Collins have them too. Here." he smiled getting up to give Mark a phone too.

"This is... where did you get the money for this Roger?" he asked looking over at him.

"I do have a job Mark." he laughed looking over at him.

"Right. Big rock star." Mark laughed standing in front of Roger.

"Yep, that's me. Take care of my girl, OK. She's my muse." he hugged Mark.

"Don't worry man. I... I know." Mark whispered hugging him back.

"Bye Baby." Jami walked over to the car and got in.

"I'm serious man. Don't let anything happen to her." Roger looked over at Mark.

"Don't worry man. I won't." Mark smiled getting into the car. As it pulled away Mark looked over at Jami, who was staring out the tinted window at her husband who was standing on the sidewalk. "Are you OK?" he asked reaching out for her hand.

"No, can we just go? Please." she pleaded holding back tears.

"Sure Jami." he leaned back in his seat next to her as she laid her head on his shoulder. "You'll be OK James. I promised Roger I'd take care of you." he leaned over to kiss her head. "You have a fever."

"I'm fine." she whispered looking up at him as the car drove to the airport.


	44. Chapter 44

Since the tour started, Jami and Roger spoke on the phone regularly. Usually multiple times a day. He took advantage of the fact that they both had cell phones. With Roger busy taking care of Maureen and recording his demo, they spoke early in the morning and late in the evening. Approximately 3 weeks into the tour, Jami developed swollen glands and her flu never went away. She downed cold medicine and acetaminophen to get rid of her cold symptoms and fever.

One night in LA, she sat in her room typing on her laptop. She minimized the writing window she was working in and brought up the internet. She went on a medical website and researched her symptoms. Influenza came up as one of the possible diagnosis, but when she factored in that her symptoms have been going on over a month, HIV became a possibility. She shut the laptop and tossed it to the other side of the bed before lying down, curling up into a ball. Grasping her knees to her chest she began crying softly into her pillow. How could she be positive? They took all the necessary precautions. Used condoms each and every time they made love. They used condoms and she got pregnant anyway. A condom must have broke allowing her to not only get pregnant, but also releasing HIV into her system.

When she calmed down, she rolled over and grabbed her laptop and continued looking things up. She and Roger went to get her tested for HIV when they found out she was pregnant and that test came back negative. She learned that HIV could take anywhere from a few weeks to a few months to show up in tests. She wiped the tears from her face violently before taking a deep breath and logging off of the internet. She crawled under the covers before looking over at the picture of her and Roger on the nightstand. "I'm sorry Baby. I'm so sorry." she whispered before falling asleep.

The next festival on the tour was in Seattle and they would be there for 3 weeks. The final 3 weeks of the tour. She decided that in Seattle she would have to sneak away from Mark in order to find a clinic and get an HIV test. She needed to know before she returned home to her husband.


	45. Chapter 45

In Seattle, Jami sat in the clinic filling out paperwork when her cell phone rang. She took it out of her purse and looked at the number. It was Mark. She couldn't answer the phone without telling him where she was. This was not information she wanted Mark to know. At least not yet. He had been worried about her since the beginning of the tour. He didn't need to worry him about this as well. She completed the questions and handed it to the nurse at the desk. "You're here for an HIV test, Mrs. Davis?" the nurse asked looking down at the paper.

"Yes... yes ma'am." she confirmed quietly.

"Is there any reason why you believe you have been exposed?" she asked looking up at Jami.

"Um... yeah. I... I guess you can say that."

"Someone will be with you in a moment." she smiled at her reassuringly.

"Thank you." Jami smiled before returning to her seat. The phone rang again. She reached into her purse and turned the phoned off. She stared down at it before violently shoving it into her bag and waiting for the nurse to call her in.

After a short wait, she was called in. the nurse took blood and gave her an appointment for the following week to get the results. As she left the clinic, she walked slowly back to the hotel. She wondered what she was gonna tell Roger. What she was gonna tell Mark? She feared that the results would be positive, so she attempted to prepare herself for delivering the news to the people she loved. When she returned back to the hotel, Mark was pacing back and forth in the lobby. "Where the hell have you been? I've been trying to call you." Mark asked rushing over to her.

"I went for a walk. I... I must not have heard my phone. What's up?" she asked looking over at her.

"Nothing's up. I was just looking for you and when I couldn't find you, I... I got worried. Where did you walk?" he asked suspicious.

"Just around. Why are you suspicious? I'm not cheating on Roger, you know? I just wanted to take a walk to clear my head." she folded her arms across her chest.

"You're really starting to worry me Jami." he looked down at her.

"You don't need to. I'm fine Mark." she walked away from him and towards the elevator.

"You've been sick this whole tour and you're telling me that there's no need to worry? Good one Jami." he followed her.

"It's just the flu. I'm getting better." she pressed the button before standing against the wall to wait for an elevator to arrive.

"You've been saying that since we got on tour. Have you thought about going to the doctor?" he asked as the elevator opened and they stepped in.

"I can't go to the doctor for every little cough and sniffle." she leaned against the elevator, avoiding his gaze.

"It's not a little cough and sniffle Jami. You've been sick since we left. If you had the flu, it would be gone by now and we both know it." he argued looking down at her.

"I'm run down Mark. You know the schedule we keep. It's hard to get a couple of days to rest, but I'm gonna be able to before we get home. I'll be fine." the elevator doors opened and she stepped out.

"Don't make me call Roger, Jami. You know I will." he threatened looked over at her.

"You're not gonna call Roger. He'll kick your ass if anything happens to me." she called out before opening the door to her room and slamming it behind her. She dropped her bag on the chair next to the door before making her way to the bed and lying down and punching the bed.

"Jami, open the damn door." he called out from the other side of their shared door.

"Mark, go away. I'm trying to get some rest before tonight's screening." she yelled putting her arm over her eyes.

"Whatever James." he yelled out running his fingers through his hair before leaving her alone. He took out his cell phone to call Roger. He didn't want to have to rat Jami out, but she'd been acting weird lately and if she won't tell him what's going on, maybe Roger could get it out of her. When Roger answered the phone, he was laughing.

"Yeah, hey." he answered the phone as he heard Collins and Maureen laughing in the background.

"Hey Rog, how's... how's it going there?" he asked sitting on the bed.

"It's going. How are things in Seattle? Did you meet Eddie Veder?" he laughed.

"Not... not yet. Um... I... I just wanted to call to check on things." he tried to act casual.

"Everything's great. How's James? She's OK, isn't she?" he asked sitting down.

"Yeah, she's fine Roger. She's laying down. I... I just wanted to call and check up on Maureen. Make sure... everything's fine at home."

"Wait a minute, she's laying down? Why is she laying down? Is she feeling OK?" he asked concerned.

"She's just feeling run down. With our schedule, it's hard to get a good night's sleep. She's fine." he looked down feeling stupid.

"Make sure she takes care of herself, OK? I... I know how hard she's working and how much she worries about the screenings and stuff."

"Yeah Rog, I'll... I'll try my best. Listen, tell Maureen I miss her and we'll see you guys soon." Mark reassured him/

"No problem man. Tell James I'll call her later." he smiled looking over at Maureen and Collins who were laughing.

"I will Rog. Talk to you later." he smiled fainlty before getting off the phone. He didn't need Roger worrying about Jami anymore then he already did.


	46. Chapter 46

After a long week of waiting, Jami sat in the clinic to get her test results. Her toughts were racing. Her wedding night played over in her head. Roger promising that he would protect her from everything he possibly could. He knew better than to promise to protect her from everything. They both knew that would be impossible, but he chose his words wisely. The door opened and a familiar face appeared. "Jami." Mark exhaled sitting next to her.

"What are you doing here Mark?" she asked shifting in her seat.

"I followed you. Jami, what the hell is going on?" he asked looking into her blue eyes.

"None of your business Mark. Go back to the hotel." she turned away from him.

"You sneak off to go to a clinic in Seattle and it's none of my business? Great." he leaned back in the chair frustrated.

"I... I just wasn't feeling well, so I..." she started when he interrupted her.

"Stop right there. I don't wanna hear any bullshit story. So if you're not gonna tell me the truth, I'm just gonna have to call Roger and see if he can get the truth out of you." he reached into his pocket for his cell phone.

"Mark, no. Don't.... don't tell Roger about this, please." she pleaded looking over at him.

"Why the hell not?" he asked clearly angry.

"Because it's not something he should find out over the phone." she told him quietly.

"But you shouldn't keep the fact that he's gonna be a father from him." he explained.

"A... Mark, I'm not pregnant." she looked up at him.

"Are you sure?" he asked looking down at her.

"Quite. Um... I had an HIV test done. I'm... I'm waiting for the results now."

"You're... why would you...?" he started when she interrupted him.

"Trust me Mark. It's a... it's a long story. It's a possibility and this is not something Roger should find out over the phone, wouldn't you agree?" she asked looking up at him.

"But you use protection. I... I don't understand how..?" he asked confused.

"You know it doesn't always work Mark. One must have broke when I got pregnant last year and I... I didn't think about it until I started getting sick. But then it wasn't going away. I knew I wasn't pregnant again, so... you know. I narrowed it down. I don't know the results yet though. I'm... I'm waiting for the doctor now."

"I can't keep this from him Jami. He... he needs to know. He's your husband."

"You're right, but I can't. Not now. Um... how do you...?" she looked up at him.

"Me and Maureen heard you the morning you were going down to city hall."

"You guys aren't mad?" she asked looking over at him.

"Of course not Jami, but he is your husband. We... we have to call him." he insisted looking down at her.

"Not now Mark, OK? It'll kill him." she pleaded as tears entered her eyes.

"It'll be OK James. You'll see." he put his arm around her, bringing her to him.

"I can't... I can't do this alone." she cried into his shoulder.

"You don't have to." he looked into her eyes.

"Can... can you come in with me? When... when they call me? I don't want to be alone Mark." she looked up at him.

"Of course honey. You're my best friend. I'd never let you go through this alone." he reassured her as she threw her arms around him, crying harder.

"I... I don't know what I'm gonna do Mark. I'm so scared." she cried.

"I know honey. It's OK. It's gonna be OK." he attempted to sound encouraging, but he was scared too. Scared of what this all meant for them as a family.

"Thanks Mark. I... I don't know what I would do without you." she cried as he held her tight.

"You're never gonna have to find out. I'll always be here to take care of you." he whispered kissing her head.

"Jami Davis. The doctor will see you now." the nurse announced looking over at her.

"I'm coming." she turned to look at her as she wiped her wet face on her hand.

"Me too." Mark looked down at her as they got up and followed the nurse into the doctors office.

"Mrs. Davis, maybe we should... do this alone." the doctor looked up at her.

"No, it's OK. I... I want him here. Please." she confirmed as she and Mark sat in the chairs on the other side of his desk.

"Very well, Mrs. Davis, your results came back and it looks like your suspicions were correct. I'm sorry to tell you this but you're HIV positive." he looked over at her sympathetically.

"Um... OK. What... what drugs do I need to take?" she asked fighting her tears as Mark clutched her hand tightly.

"Mrs. Davis, you're in the early stages of the disease. Your chances are very good at living a long, healthy life. I'm gonna give you a cocktail that you need to take at the same time everyday. It's very important that you follow this regimen to the letter." he looked over at her.

"Don't worry. I... I know the drill. Um... thank you. Thank you very much." she took the prescriptions from him before leaving the clinic in Mark's arms.

"We can... we can blow off the screening tonight, if you want to just hang out in the room." he spoke quietly as they walked.

"No Mark. I... I want to do this. I'm not gonna hide out away from the world." she looked over at him.

"OK Jami. I... I understand. Um... I guess it's a good thing that we're gonna be home in a few weeks, huh?" he looked down at her.

"What's so good about it? Once I get home, I can't keep it from Roger anymore. This is gonna kill him. It's just gonna... Oh God Mark. I'm so sorry for this. I'm so sorry. I just..." she yelled breaking down in the middle of the sidewalk.

"It's gonna be OK Jami." he held her in his arms.

"How is this gonna be OK Mark? I'm positive and it's gonna kill Roger. He's gonna blame himself and it's just gonna..." she cried.

"Everything is gonna be OK Jami, do you hear me? You gotta trust me on this." he insisted taking her face in his hands.

"I do. I... I trust you Mark." she looked up at him.

"Roger's gonna kill me." he muttered looking down at her.

"Huh?" she asked confused before wiping her eyes.

"You're HIV positive and Roger's gonna kill me."

"How do you figure?" she asked looking up at him.

"Before we left, he made me swear to take care of you. To not let anything happen to you. Falling down the stairs would have been preferable to this." he smirked looking down at her.

"He actually made you swear not to let me fall down the stairs?" she couldn't help but laugh through her tears.

"You know how protective your husband is." he swept a stray hair out of her face.

"Oh yeah, I know how _over_ protective my husband is." she smiled at him.

"This he's gonna kill me for. For sure." he reached out for her cheek, drying her tears.

"I have a feeling he's gonna be worse on himself." she answered quietly looking down at his chest.

"Yeah, I have a feeling you're right." he confirmed quietly.

"This is gonna be bad, huh?" she asked as her eyes flooded with tears again.

"I'm afraid so James." he looked down at her.

"I wish there was a way I could hide it from him." she looked up at him.

"You can't Jami. This is way too big to hide." he looked down at her.

"I know. I'm... I'm just not looking forward to telling him." she cried, running her fingers through her hair.

"I'll be there when you tell him, if... if you want me to." he offered putting his hands on her shoulders.

"No, I... I have to tell him alone. There's no telling how he'll react and I think I'll be able to talk him down better if it's just the two of us." she looked up at him.

"Or he could flip out and run out of the loft. You have no idea how he's gonna react."

"Neither do you. Mark, you said it yourself, he's changed since I met him. You don't know how he's gonna react. He could surprise you." she looked up at him.

"Maybe, but at least do it while I'm home, OK? I can jump in if I have to."

"Deal. Um... we... we have to get back to the hotel. I need to get my prescriptions filled before the screening tonight." she wiped the tears from her eyes and her wet cheeks.

"Good idea." he agreed before they made their way back to the hotel.

Back in Jami's room at the hotel, Mark is sitting on the couch looking through the papers the doctor gave her. "Mark, we have to start getting ready for the festival." she looked over at him.

"I know. I'm just looking through these papers. You have to take these twice a day. Once in the morning and once at night." he flipped through the papers before picking up his coffee cup.

"Mark, I'll start taking it tonight, OK? Just get in your room and get ready." she looked over at him.

"You have to start taking these as soon as possible Jami." he put the papers on the table in front of him before getting up.

"Yeah Mark, I'm aware of that. Can... can I have one more night of being normal before I have to deal with this? Please?" she asked looking up at him with tears in her eyes.

"Yeah Jami, you can. I'm... I'm sorry. I'm just worried about you." he put his arms around her shoulders bringing her to him.

"No, I'm... I'm sorry Mark. I... I'm glad you're here. Really." she held on to him tightly.

"Me too. I'm... I'm gonna go get ready. I'll see you in an hour, so be ready." he looked down into her beautiful blue eyes.

"OK." she smiled leaning up to kiss his cheek. She sat on the edge of the bed and cried into her hands. She tried to cover her mouth with her hands so Mark wouldn't hear her.


	47. Chapter 47

A couple of days later, Mark gently knocks on Jami's door before opening it. "Jami, you gotta take your meds." he spoke quietly as he walked towards her bed. As he moved closer to her, he noticed her curled up into a ball, shivering. "Jami." he exhaled rushing over to her.

"I took them. I... I don't think the medicine is w... working Mark. I... I feel sicker than I di... did before I took it and... and I keep throwing up." she cried looking up at him.

"That's normal. Your body just has to get used to it." he sat on the bed next to her.

"Did... did Roger go through this?" she asked looking up at him.

"Yeah honey, he... he did. But he was also going through withdrawal at the same time, so it was worse." he looked down at her.

"I... I don't know if I can do... do this Mark. It's too... har... hard. I... I can't sleep. I'm sweating through my... my pajamas and I can't... can't keep anything down." she cried shivering.

"You'll be OK in about a week or so." he reached over to sweep her sweaty hair out of her face.

"This is so hard Mark." she whimpered as Mark leaned down, collecting her into his arms.

"I know honey. I know." he whispered holding her in his arms.

"Tell me everything is gonna be OK Mark. I... I need to hear that it's gonna be OK." she looked up at him.

"You're gonna be fine Jami. You and Roger just got married. Nothing bad is gonna happen to you." he insisted looking down at her.

"Unfortunately that doesn't make me feel better." she looked up at him.

"Yeah, I... I'm sorry Jami." he whispered leaning over to kiss her head as she soothed her hair.

"It's not your fault Mark. None of this is your fault." she looked up at him. Her voice filled with emotion. She could see that he felt responsible for her.

"Isn't it?" he looked down at her caressing her wet hair.

"Mark, there's nothing to blame you for. You introduced me to my husband. A man who loves me like no other man has or ever could. Please, don't... don't regret introducing us. I... I don't." she looked up at him.

"Sure James." he leaned in kissing her head before holding her in his arms.

"I... I need to try to get myself together. We... we have that Q & A after breakfast." she looked up at him.

"Are you sure you can do this?" he asked looking down at her.

"I have to do this Mark. It's... it's what I need to do. Like Roger's music. It's my mark." she shifted out of his arms, slowly getting out of bed.

"I understand Jami. If... if you need help, let me know." he looked up at her.

"Thanks Mark." she turned to look at him, before walking the rest of the way to the bathroom. She stared at herself in the mirror looking fragile and pale. Her hair was disheveled and there were dark circles under her eyes. She reached into the shower, turning on the water before taking her clothes off and stepping in.

"James, let's go." Mark yelled from the other side of their shared door, as she opened the door. She was wearing make up to hide her ashen complexion.

"How do I look?" she asked looking up at him.

"Alive. That's better than you did a half an hour ago." he joked looking down at her.

"Gee thanks. I guess that's the best I'm gonna get today, huh?" she laughed lightheartedly as they got ready to leave for breakfast, then the Q & A.

Sometime during breakfast, Jami's phone rang in her pocket. "Excuse me." she smiled reaching into her packet and answering her phone. "Hello." she smiled knowing it was Roger.

"Hey, how's my beautiful wife today?" he asked excitedly.

"The same as I was last night. Missing my husband like crazy." she smiled quietly before getting up from the table for privacy.

"I miss you so much James. How long until this damn tour is over?" he asked lying on their bed.

"A couple of weeks. Not too much longer. Um... how is your demo going?" she asked hiding behind a wall in the lobby of the hotel.

"Great. The kid's doing amazing. I swear, that talk me and Nate had with him really helped." he told her excitedly.

"That's great Baby. I'm... I'm so proud of you. I can't wait to be able to buy that CD in the store." she joked.

"Who needs a CD? You get the live show." he laughed propping his arms behind his head.

"I love it when you sing just for me." she smiled as Mark came around the corner.

"Jami, we gotta go. The Q & A is starting soon." he whispered looking over at her.

"OK thanks. I gotta go. The Q & A is starting soon and I need to get my notes together." she frowned reluctantly rushing him off of the phone.

"OK James. I'll talk to you later." he sat up in the bed.

"OK, I'll talk to you later. I love you so much Roger." she whispered leaning against the wall.

"I love you so much too James." he smiled at the picture of them that was on the nightstand.

"I'll talk to you later." she smiled before hanging up the phone.

"Is everything OK?" Mark asked looking over at her.

"Yeah, I... I need to get home and tell him what's going on. This is killing me." she looked up at him.

"I know Jami. We'll be home soon." he lifted his hand to tuck her hair behind her ear.

"Not soon enough." she whispered before walking away from him back to the table.

"Jami, you can tell him now, you know?" Mark rushed over to her, taking her hand gently.

"No Mark, I... I can't. This is not something my husband is gonna find out over the phone. Don't you get it Mark? This is life altering. I will not have him find out while I'm thousands of miles away with no one there to console him but a pregnant Maureen. It's not happening Mark." she quietly looked up at him.

"Then we'll invite them out here for the rest of the tour. But I think you should tell him Jami. As soon as possible." he looked down at her.

"I thought we talked about this Mark. You were fine with this a couple of weeks ago, why now are you giving me a deadline?" she asked.

"Because I'm not comfortable telling them that you're fine day after day when I find you in your room every morning sick and shivering from your meds." he tried to keep his voice down.

"You will not call him and beckon him to come to Seattle when he has his demo to record. This is his dream." she looked over at him frustrated.

"Yeah well, I'm calling him James, and there's nothing you can do to stop me." he leaned over to kiss her head before leaving her side.

"You stubborn son of a bitch." she groaned before following him to the conference hall for the Q & A.

After the Q & A, Jami cornered Mark in the corner of the lobby. "Jami, you can't stop me." he looked over at her holding his cell phone in his hand.

"Think about what you're about to do Mark. If you call them out now, they'll know something's up. Do you really want Maureen traveling with a freaked out Roger." she chased after him in the lobby of the hotel.

"No, I... I guess not." he looked down at her.

"Just let me do this my way, OK? I'll tell him as soon as we get home, I promise." she looked over at him.

"You are such a stubborn woman. How does your husband put up with you?" he asked looking over at her.

"He's just as stubborn as I am." she smirked walking away from him.

"Yeah, unfortunately I know." he muttered before following her.


	48. Chapter 48

Jami and Mark, got off of the plane at LaGuardia Airport and rushed to the car the production company had waiting for them. "11th and A, East Village please." Mark requested looking at the driver.

"Yes sir." he looked back at him as Jami sat in the seat next to Mark quietly. She clutched her purse tightly to her stomach. She was feeling better from her meds and hasn't been sick in a few days. The butterflies filled her stomach as the car began it's trek towards the loft.

"It's gonna be OK Jami. You'll see." Mark whispered putting his arm around her shoulders.

"Mark, I'm really not in a mood for your cheery demeanor right now." she groaned looking up at him before looking back down at her lap.

"Sorry James." he looked over at her.

"It's... it's OK. I'm... I'm sorry I snapped at you." she looked over at him as they crossed the Triboro Bridge.

"I'll cut you some slack this time. But next time, I'm fighting back." he smirked over at her.

"Funny Cohen." she groaned looking up at him before laying her head on his shoulder.

"I'm trying here James." he turned to kiss the top of her head.

"I know and I appreciate it. Thank you." she looked up at him. They made the rest of the journey in silence. As they got closer to the loft, Jami reached over and gripped Mark's hand.

"Just breathe honey. Just breathe." he looked over at her.

"Thanks... for the heads up." she looked up at him as they turned the corner, she noticed Roger sitting on the front steps. "Oh my God. He's outside." she picked her head up, seeing Roger through the tinted windows.

"Of course he's outside Jami. We've been gone 2 months. He missed his wife." he looked over at her.

"I just... didn't expect him to be outside. I... I was counting on him being upstairs where I could talk to him rationally. If he sees me now, he's gonna notice that I lost weight and he's gonna question right away and you know how impatient his is." she rambled on looking up at him.

"James, breathe. It'll be OK. I'm sure he's not gonna want to confront you on your weight loss outside. He'll at least wait until we're upstairs so he could drag you into your room and he can grill you there." he rationalized looking down at her.

"Yeah, he doesn't have his bright light down here." she groaned looking down at her hands.

"Are you OK?" he asked looking over at her.

"Mhm. I'm... I'm fine. Let's do this." she took a deep breath before Mark opened the door. Roger was standing in front of it, waiting for his wife to get out. Mark got out first and hugged Roger hello. Then Jami got out, looking up at him. "Hi." she whispered looking up at him.

"I missed you so much Baby." he rushed to her, wrapping his arms around her waist and picking her up. She felt lighter than she did when she left, but he didn't make a big thing about it.

"I missed you so much too Roger." she whispered, choking back tears. She held on to his neck tightly.

"Come on. Maureen and Collins are trying to throw a surprise party for you two and I was sent down to escort you up." his smile was uneasy.

"Can... can you go ahead Mark? I... I want to talk to Roger, alone." she looked over at him.

"Sure honey. I'll see you upstairs." he smiled quietly before leaning over to kiss her head. "I'll see you guys later." Mark leaned down to grab their bags.

"Thank you." she watched as he entered the building.

"What was that all about?" he looked down at her.

"We just spent the last 2 months being the only people we knew. We're best friends Roger. Nothing more. Really." she looked up at him.

"OK, so do you wanna tell me why you want to talk to me down here?" he looked down at her.

"Yeah, um... I need to tell you something and I need you to promise me that you're not gonna over react." she looked up at him as he walked backwards and leaned against the building.

"What James?" he asked suspicious.

"I haven't been feeling well since the tour started, so when we got to Seattle, I... I went to the doctor and I.. I... got tested." she spoke quietly walking towards him.

"For what?" he was fearful of her answer.

"You know what for Roger." she fought her tears, looking up at him.

"No way. No way. It's... it's gotta be a mistake. You... you can't be." he raised his hand, running his fingers through his hair, leaning his head against the building.

"It's true Roger. I'm.... I'm on meds and I've been on them for a couple of weeks. I'm... I'm doing better." she put her hands on his forearms.

"A couple of weeks? James, you knew a couple of weeks ago and you kept it from me?" he asked angrily.

"This... this wasn't exactly news you should hear on the phone. We thought it was best if we waited until we were home." she removed her hands from his arms.

"We? Mark knew?" he asked standing up straighter.

"I... I needed someone to talk to and he's been through it with you. Can... can you think of anyone better for me to confide in?" she asked looking over at him.

"Um, me. I am your husband James." he yelled looking over at her.

"And you were thousands of miles away Roger. How could I tell you this on the phone? I didn't know how you'd react and I needed to tell you face to face." she yelled breaking down.

"I... I hurt you James. I... I swore I wouldn't and I hurt you." he looked down at her before sweeping her petite frame comfortingly into his strong arms.

"You... you did not hurt me. This is just a minor set back." she cried into his chest.

"Minor set back? You're... you're positive James. I killed you." he mumbled crying into her hair.

"I'm so sorry Roger. I'm..." she cried gripping the back of his jacket in her hands.

"Um... how?" he cried looking down at her.

"The best I can think of is when I... when I got pregnant. The condom must have broke and that's how I got pregnant. That's probably how the HIV got through too." she looked up at him, wiping her eyes.

"I'm... I'm so sorry Jami. I... I can't believe I did this." he looked down at her, tears staining his face.

"You have nothing to be sorry about. I knew the risks, but I love you and I want to be with you. Don't... don't apologize, please." she whimpered looking up at him.

"But I am sorry. I... I ruined your life." he cried lifting his hand to caress her wet cheek.

"You didn't ruin my life Roger. Every part of my life is better because of you. Please, don't be sorry. I'm not." she cried, reaching up to take his hand in hers.

"I'm gonna take care of you James. I'm gonna make sure you're OK. I... I promise." he leaned down to kiss her tender lips.

"We'll take care of each other Roger." she kissed him back before he pulled her into his loving, protective embrace.

"I... I can't believe this. How could they both be... um..." Maureen stammered looking over at Mark who was sitting silently on the window seat with his head in his hands.

"I know Maureen. I've been... I've been dealing with this for a couple of weeks now." he told her quietly as she stood by the window listening to their conversation.

"I... I'm so sorry Mark. I... I can't imagine what you must have been going through." she walked over to sit next to him.

"It was nothing compared to keeping it from you guys." he got up from the window to pace around the loft.

"Well, it's not exactly news that you guys can tell us by phone." Collins looked over at him.

"You have no idea what it was like lying to everyone. Roger asking how she was and me having to lie right to him and tell him that she was OK, no matter how many times I found her sick with nausea and night sweats in room from the meds." he ranted looking over at him.

"How are her t cells?" Maureen asked looking over at him.

"Good. She... she's on a cocktail that has to be taken at exact times. At first she was really sick. Nauseous, vomiting, night sweats... I mean, she was really bad. Her body seems to be used to it now, so she's better. For now." he looked over at her.

"We'll take care of her Mark." Maureen walked over to him.

"At least we're home now and Roger finally knows. Keeping it from him was killing me." he put his arms around her.

"I understand, but he took it well, don't you think?" she asked looking up at him.

"Yeah, I'm... I'm glad. I was worried." he looked over at her.

"She's his wife Mark. He would never hurt her." Collins looked over at him.

"It's not her I was worried about him hurting." he looked over at him.

"Yeah, me neither." Collins said going towards his bedroom and quietly shutting the door.

"How can this be happening? We're having a baby and Jami's positive." Maureen's eyes teared up as she looked into Mark's.

"I don't know Maureen. I just don't know." he kissed her had as he held her in his arms.

"OK, what do we do now?" Roger asked looking down at Jami, regaining his composure.

"We live like we always did. This... this doesn't change anything." she wiped her face again, looking up at him.

"How can you say this doesn't change anything? It... it changes everything." he asked confused.

"No, it doesn't. All it changes is that I have to take meds now too. You're recording your demo, I have to finish your screenplay and we're getting married in front of all of our friends and family in a month and a half." she looked up at him.

"And what about a baby James? We... we were planning on doing the invitro after the wedding."

"I guess we'll have to spoil Maureen and Mark's baby like crazy." she looked up at him with fresh tears brimming in her eyes.

"Oh Baby. I'm so sorry." he exhaled holding her in his arms.

"It's... it's OK Roger. I... I guess it's not in the cards for us, huh?" she asked comforted by his strong chest.

"Maybe it is." he kissed her head.

"What are you talking about? If we have a baby, it could be born with HIV. I won't do that to an innocent little baby. I walked into this with my eyes wide open. A baby doesn't have that option." she broke free from his embrace to sit on the steps in front of the building.

"There are ways James. You can get the ivf and then they can give you meds to prevent the baby from getting it and then you can have a c-section so your blood doesn't mix with the baby's." he sat next to her as she listened intently.

"How... how did you find this out?" she asked looking up at him.

"I was on the internet looking for stuff about having a baby with a positive father and a negative mother and a whole bunch of stuff popped up. I... I got to reading it. It'll be OK James." he put his arm around her shoulder.

"You? On the internet? But how?" she asked looking up at him.

"I got a computer. I... I was bored. There's a lot of stuff on there. Medical advice, music, videos. Did you know you can get recipe's on there too?" he asked looking over at her.

"Yeah, I... I kind of printed out some recipe's I'd like you to try." she smirked looking over at him.

"Everything's gonna be OK Jami. I promise." he kissed her head before laying it on his shoulder.

"I know. We'll just live like we always have." she looked up at him as her blue eyes met his green ones.

"Come on, we... we better get upstairs. I'm sure Mark's worried about you." he looked down at her.

"Yeah, he was very protective of me while we were gone." she looked up at him.

"Good. I needed someone to look out for my favorite girl." he smiled kissing her head as they got up and went upstairs. When they entered the loft, Maureen and Mark were on the couch, holding one another. Roger smiled over at Maureen, who looked happier than she had since the tour started.

"Hi Maureen." she looked over at them on the couch.

"Hi... hi Jami." she got up, taking a look at her thinner friend.

"I'm fine Maureen. Just a minor setback." Jami reassured wrapping her arms around her friend.

"I... I'm really sorry Jami. You... you don't deserve this." she held back her tears.

"None of us do, but this is our life. We just have to make the best of it." she looked over at her.

"But I want my baby to know you." her tears overflowed from her eyes.

"He will know me Maureen. I'm... I'm not going anywhere. I promise." she looked down at her friends slightly swollen belly. Roger's eyes began filling up again and Mark sat silently while the women spoke.

"He, huh?" Maureen smirked through her tears.

"Just a feeling." she smiled at her.

"How... how was the tour? Did you win any awards?" she asked trying to lighten the mood.

"There weren't any awards ceremonies. Everything happens here in the summer, but it seemed to have been well received." she smiled at her.

"Good." Maureen looked over at her.

"Where's Collins?" she asked looking over at her.

"In his room." Mark told her somberly.

"I have to talk to him." she looked back at Roger before looking over at Maureen and Mark.

"Good luck." Mark muttered looking at her.

"Yeah, um... thanks." she looked over at him before walking towards Collins room. She lifted her hand to knock on the door. Her knock was slight, but he heard her.

"Come in." he called out as she opened the door ever so slowly.

"Hey. I missed you. How are you?" she asked looking over at him. He was sitting somberly on the bed looking down at his hands.

"I could be better." he looked up at her. She could tell that he had been crying.

"I'm gonna be OK Collins. I'm on meds and the doctor said that my outlook is really good." she walked over to him.

"You're positive sweetheart. How could your outlook be good?" he looked up at her.

"My t-cell count is still high and I'm on this drug cocktail that's supposed to be good." she sat down next to him on the bed.

"He's taking it well, huh?" he asked wiping his tear stained face.

"For now, but you know him. I think he's just trying to process it right now." she looked over at him.

"It's gonna kill him when it hits him." he reached down to take her hand.

"Yeah, I... I expect it to." she squeezed his hand.

"I'm so sorry sweetheart." he looked over at her.

"For what? You didn't do anything wrong and neither did me and Roger. We... we took all the precautions and it happened anyway. There's nothing more we could have done."

"I know, I'm still sorry." he looked over at her.

"I know. Me too." she leaned her head on his shoulder as they sat in silence.


	49. Chapter 49

It was 8 o'clock the next morning and Jami was still sleeping. She was in her own bed with her husband for the first time in 2 months and the previous day proved to be a very emotional one. Roger woke up first and stared down at his wife. She looked so peaceful, breathing evenly next to him. He leaned over and gently kissed her head before crawling out of bed and going into the living room. Maureen was sitting up on the couch looking through the photo album Mark had made Jami for her birthday a few months earlier. She was crying softly looking down at the pictures. "Maureen, are you OK?" he asked rushing over to her.

"Roger, I... I didn't realize anyone was up." she wiped her tear stained face, trying to regain her composure.

"It's OK to cry, you know." he looked down at her.

"I'm sorry. I... I don't want to but, I... I can't help it." she looked up at him.

"This sucks, huh?" he asked looking down at her.

"Yeah, I... I never imagined anything like this would happen." she looked over at him.

"Yeah, I know." he whispered staring down at the picture of himself, Jami and Mark. "I always loved this picture."

"He was really there for her, wasn't he?" she asked looking up at him.

"He's her best friend Maureen. She needed him and he was there. I... I wouldn't have trusted anyone else to take care of her." he reached down to take the picture out of it's sleeve and hold it in his hand.

"They have a special connection, don't they?" she asked watching him stare at the picture.

"Yeah, they... they seem to." he looked away from the picture to look at Maureen.

"And he's gonna lose her the same way he's gonna lose you and Collins." she started crying again.

"Hormones?" he wrapped his arms around her trying to lighten the mood.

"Not just hormones." she cried into his chest.

"I know Maureen. I know." he comforted her as Mark listened from his bedroom. Fighting tears.

"She lost a lot of weight, didn't she?" Maureen asked looking up at him.

"Its just from the meds. She'll balance out. Don't worry so much. We're gonna take good care of her." he looked down at her.

"You better believe we are." Maureen agreed as Mark came out of his bedroom. "Hey Mark." Maureen smiled up at him.

"Is Jami up? Did she take her meds yet?" he asked coming out of the room.

"Not... not yet. I was just about to get them for her when I saw Maureen out here." Roger looked up at her.

"She should take them with orange juice and a piece of toast. That seems to settle her stomach better than taking it with water or coffee." he offered looking over at him.

"Thanks Mark, really. You... you really stepped up in a lot of ways. I... I appreciate everything you did for her." Roger got up, looking over at him.

"I'm her best friend Roger. What was I supposed to do? Make her go through it alone?" he muttered going into the kitchen.

"Mark, what is your problem? I'm thanking you for looking out for her." he asked looking over at him.

"You want to know what my problem is ? Fine. Let's get it all out in the open." Mark lost his temper and started walking towards Roger, angry.

"I know I fucked up Mark. You don't need to tell me that. I'm smart enough to figure that much out on my own." Roger yelled at him.

"She was innocent. Untouched by this shit and ever since she got with you, she's smack in the middle of it all. And now she's got it too." he yelled as Jami came out of the bedroom.

"That's enough. Both of you. I don't need you fighting over me. I'm a grown woman who made an informed decision." she yelled rushing over to Mark.

"Baby, he's right. You were his and you were innocent. Then I came into your life had to fall in love with you. I... I put your life in danger and now you're positive." he walked over to her.

"I was his? Excuse me? You say that like I belonged to him." she yelled angrily at her husband.

"You know what I meant Jami." Roger threw his arms in the air, knowing he said something stupid.

"Yeah, I do. I may have been his friend first, but I was always yours Roger. Ever since I saw you in those films, I was drawn to you." she yelled at him fighting her tears.

"But you were safe before you met me." he yelled at her.

"No I wasn't. Don't you get it Roger? I was alone before I met you. You gave me a life. You gave me love. I do not regret one second of our time together or anything that's happened since we've been together. And I don't want you to regret anything either." she cried looking up at him.

"You're my life James. I regret doing this to you." he put his hands on her shoulders, to look her in the eyes.

"You didn't do anything to me. You're my life too Roger. If this is what I have to go through to be with you, then I'll do it. I'll do anything Roger." she cried as he brought her into his loving embrace.

"I love you so much Jami. I'm so sorry." he cried as he held her head to his chest, kissing her head.

"Stop being sorry Roger. I'm not." Jami cried frustrated.

"OK James. You... you have to take your meds now." he tried to change the subject.

"We're not finished with this Roger." she looked up at him.

"I know Baby. But you need to take your meds. It's really important that you stay on your schedule." he looked down at her.

"I... I need some orange juice and a piece of toast. It... its helps with the nausea." she stuttered looking up at him.

"OK James. I'll... I'll go make your toast." he went into the kitchen to place a couple of slices of bread into the toaster.

"Hey, Jami. Good morning." Maureen looked up at her still holding the photo album.

"Hi Maureen. Um... Mark, a word please?" Jami walked towards Mark before grabbing his shirt and dragging him towards his bedroom, shutting the door behind them.

"I have a feeling Mark's gonna get yelled at." Maureen looked up at Roger as he looked on concerned.

"I don't know why. He only wants what's best for her." Roger looked down, waiting for the toast to finish.

"So do you Roger. Sometimes things just don't work out the way you plan." Maureen got up to go to him.

"Yeah, none of us could have planned for this." he looked over at her as the toast popped up and he took the butter out of the refrigerator.

In Mark's room, Jami was pacing around the room, trying to sort out her thoughts. Mark sat on the bed, waiting patiently for her collect her thoughts. "You can yell at me if you want Jami, I don't regret what I said." he looked up at her.

"Fighting with him is gonna make everything better? What the hell did you think you were doing out there?" she asked putting her hands on her hips.

"I lost it James. Sue me." he looked over at her.

"You know what this is doing to him. Did you have to rub his nose in it to make him feel worse?" she asked leaning against his dresser.

"I know Jami. I just..." he looked down at the floor.

"I know how frustrating this is for you, but fighting with him is not gonna make me negative." she looked down at him.

"I'm sorry this touched you Jami. I... I feel responsible." he looked up at her, holding back his emotions.

"You are not responsible for me being positive Mark. You are responsible for introducing me to my husband and the man who's gonna love me for the rest of my life. You... you have nothing to be sorry for." she sat next to him reaching over to take his hand.

"You were supposed to be his future Jami. Our future. Now... you're gonna suffer the same fate as he is. I... I guess I'm having a hard time accepting that." he looked over at her as teardrops spilled from his crystal blue eyes.

"I'm still his future Mark. This doesn't change anything. I just have to take medication twice a day, like he does." he reached up to caress the tears from his lightly stubbled face.

"And I'm gonna have to watch you die too." he mumbled as more tears joined the first.

"And I'm sorry for that Mark." she reached over to wrap her arms around him as she cried as well.

"I don't want to lose you James." he cried as they held one another.

"You are not gonna lose me Mark. You're my best friend." she cried pulling back to look at him.

"I'm gonna do everything I can to take care of you Jami." he looked over at her intently.

"We'll take care of each other. Like we always have." she hugged him again thinking about how things had changed, but remained the same.

"You... you have to take your meds." he croaked out, looking over at her.

"Yeah, I... I can't slack off. I plan on being around for a while." she looked over at him.

"Good. I'm gonna need your help with Roger, Maureen and this kid." he smirked at her as he wiped his tears from his face.

"Yeah, and then when mine and Roger's kid is born, there'll be no rest for the wicked." she couldn't help but laugh.

"You're... you're still gonna...?" he stuttered looking over at her.

"Roger went online and found out some stuff. It says we can still have a baby." she smiled up at him.

"That's great Jami, but how?" he asked looking over at her.

"IVF, then a c-section to make sure the baby's negative. It can be done. I... I probably have to take more meds for the baby, but we're... we're really excited about it." she smiled at him.

"I'm glad Jami. I... I really am. You deserve so much." he smiled leaning in to hug her again.

"Looks like I already have it." she leaned her head on his shoulder smiling up at him.


	50. Chapter 50

Later that day, Jami woke up from her nap, looking for Roger. He fell asleep next to her, but now he was nowhere to be found. She got up from the bed and slipped her feet into her slippers before shuffling out into the living room. She looked around, noticing Roger standing on the fire escape. He was leaning on the railing. She started walking towards him, when she noticed the cell phone pressed to his ear. The window was open, so she could hear his end of the conversation. "I fucked up Chris. I fucking ruined her life." Hearing this, she froze in her tracks. She could tell he was crying. He paused for a minute, waiting for Chris' response before he continued.

"I told ma I was no good for her. I knew it all along, but I fell for her anyway. She would have been better off with Mark. He... he could have kept her safe." he stood up straighter as she rushed to hide behind the wall next to the window. She put her hands over her mouth, not wanting to alert Roger to her presence.

"Yeah well, what the hell am I gonna do now? I got her sick man. I... swore I'd never hurt her and here I am hurting her. She deserves better than me." he continued ranting. Hearing this, Jami rushed towards the door. She struggled to open the door before slamming it behind her. Roger heard the door and rushed inside. He wiped his eyes before going into his bedroom and noticing the bed was empty. "I... I gotta go. I... I fucked up again. I'll talk to you later man." he quickly hung up the phone before rushing out the door after Jami.

By the time he got downstairs, she was gone. He looked down at his cell phone, which was still in his hand and called her phone. It rang 4 times before going to her voice mail. He hung up the phone and ran to the corner, seeing her rushing down the block. "Jami." he called out running after her.

"Get away from me Roger." she yelled at him not turning around.

"You weren't meant to hear that James." he caught up to her and reached down for her hand.

"But I did. I heard it all. You think I would have been better off with Mark? Mark and I were always just friends. I belonged with you Roger. I always believed that and I thought you did too." she cried looking up at him.

"I do believe that James, but... I fucked up your life. You went from being untouched by this shit to being right in the middle of it and that's because of me." he looked down at her.

"If that's how you feel, why did you want to marry me?" she asked looking up at him.

"Because I fell for you. It was stupid, but I fell in love with you. I... I was stupid and selfish." he looked down at her.

"You think it was stupid to fall in love with me?" she cried looking up at him.

"Yeah, I... I do." he replied quietly.

"Thanks a lot Roger." she yelled before turning away from him again. In her haste, she got tripped up in her slippers, twisting her ankle and falling to the ground. "Dammit." she yelled frustratingly, holding her ankle.

"James." he called out, rushing to her aid.

"Go away Roger. I'm... I'm fine." she cried getting up, but falling back down again, unable to stand on her ankle.

"Let me get you home." he wrapped his arms around her.

"Why? Obviously marrying me was a stupid mistake." she cried pushing him away.

"I'm... I'm sorry for saying that. I... I'm just sorry I got you sick." he looked down at her.

"You didn't get me sick. I'm HIV positive, but I'm fine." she looked up at him.

"I love you so much Jami. I... I could never regret being with you. No matter how much I want to. I... I tried. I just can't live without you Baby. You're my wife." he whispered taking her face in his hands.

"Till death do us part?" she sniffled looking up at him.

"Beyond." he leaned in to kiss her lips.

"Roger, I love Mark, but I could never love him the way I love you. He's... he's my best friend. When I was diagnosed, he... he was with me when I found out and then he took care of me when I was getting used to the meds. He... he did it not only because of me, but because of you too." she wiped the tears from her face.

"Because of me?" he asked confused.

"He... he was afraid that you would kick his ass for not protecting me. He... he actually said that falling down the stairs was preferable to this." she explained as he let out a chuckle.

"Yeah, I... I would have forgiven him for letting you fall down the stairs, this, I... I can't forgive myself for." he caressed her face with his thumb.

"There's nothing to forgive Roger. I... I knew you were positive and I fell in love with you anyway. I... I saw something in you that no one else saw. I... I always knew there was a possibility that I'd... but I had to take a chance on you." she looked up at him.

"I'm sorry for what I said to Chris. You... you were never meant to hear that. I was just blowing off steam." he held her in his arms.

"You had to mean it in some way Roger. You don't just say things like that without meaning it. I know you well enough to know that." she looked up at him.

"I... I guess a part of me does. But I'm not going anywhere James. I... I love you and I can't stand the thought of not having you in my life. No matter what." he insisted looking down at her.

"Can... can we go home please? I... I think I twisted my ankle and I need to put ice on it." she looked up at him.

"Sure Baby." he collected her into his arms beginning to carry her.

"I... I think I can kind of walk." she looked up at him.

"You can't walk on that ankle James. Let me carry you." he smiled at her.

"My big strong husband." she couldn't help but smile as she looked deep into his green eyes.

"Yeah well, I don't need to be so big and strong these days. You lost a lot of weight James." he looked over at her.

"Yeah I... I know. The... the meds kind of made me lose weight, but I'm working on getting some of it back." she held him as he walked them to the loft.

"Good. I want my wife healthy." he smiled pushing the door open with his back.

"I am healthy Roger." she smiled laying her head on his shoulder. When they got upstairs, he carried her to the couch and gently placed her against a pillow. He reached back and got another pillow to prop her ankle up on.

"Let me take a look." he looked down, gently slipping her slipper off of her foot.

"Is it swelling?" she asked looking over at him.

"It's starting to. And some bruising too. I... I should get you some ice and an ace bandage. Stay here." he looked down at her.

"Like I'm going anywhere." she laughed wiping her wet face on her sleeves.

"Right. Be right back." he chuckled leaning down to kiss her head before going into the kitchen for ice. "What made you think you could run off in slippers anyway? You can barely walk on sneakers." he laughed piling ice from a tray into a dish towel.

"I... I guess I wasn't thinking. I'm... I'm sorry I ran out. I just... I heard you and I didn't think." she looked up as he approached her.

"This is gonna be a little cold." he sat next to her foot and placed the makeshift ice pack on her ankle.

"A little? Oh my god that's freezing." she cringed pulling her ankle up.

"You gotta keep this on James. It'll stop the swelling." he insisted, holding her calf still.

"I know." she leaned back folding her hands on her stomach, trying to bare the cold.

"I... I gotta call Chris back. I kind of rushed him off the phone when I heard you leave. I'm sure he's worried." he looked over at her.

"Chris knows." she exhaled looking over at him.

"I... I'm sorry. I needed someone to talk to." he looked over at her.

"I'm not mad. How.... how did he take it?" she asked looking over at her.

"He's fine. He... he's worried, but he's fine." he caressed her calf as he cooled her ankle.

"Yeah, he's your brother. I... I guess he would be." she spoke quietly looking down at her stomach.

"He's worried about you James. He loves you. You're his family." he scooted up closer to her upper body.

"Does he know about us? Already being married?" she asked looking up at him.

"I... I kind of told him. We... we were talking and it came out." he stuttered looking down at her.

"That's OK. Mark and Maureen know too. They heard us that morning." she smirked up at him.

"Yeah, I... I know. I've known since then. Maureen mentioned something to me and said she wasn't mad. She... she was glad we got to do it the way we wanted. Just you and me." he smiled lifting his hand to caress her face.

"Does... does your mom know? Um... about me?" she asked looking up at him.

"No. Chris won't tell her either. He thinks it's up to you whether anyone else knows." he looked down at her.

"I... I don't know what I want to do. I mean, not yet." she looked up at him.

"After everything... I... I understand." he leaned down to kiss her head.

"Thank you Baby."

"For what? Freaking out on you?" he asked confused.

"For being honest and not hiding away. I... I guess I was afraid that you were taking it too well." she looked up at him.

"Yeah, I guess I was." he looked down at her. "I'm sorry for what I said."

"I know Baby." she reached up to caress the back of his hair as he leaned down, allowing her to hold him to her chest.


	51. Chapter 51

It's been a week since Mark and Jami returned from the tour and everything seems to be getting back to normal. At least for her and Roger. Maureen is putting poor Mark through the ringer with her hormones and cravings. Her belly is starting to grow, but rather than freaking out, she's excited. She and Jami go out shopping and Jami figured out a way to let her dress out, so that her growing figure would not cause any discomfort for her. At the same time, she needed her dress brought in.

On this particular day, Jami is sitting in her bedroom, typing on her laptop. She was working on a new project. It was her own story. She hadn't thought about writing about herself, but realized that she had a lot to say and given her recent HIV status, probably not a lot of time to say it, so she wanted to put it down.

_You never realize what three little letters could mean,until they're uttered to you in a diagnosis. HIV. It's funny. Those three letters are included in so many words. Death, despair and loss are none of them. But that's what it's supposed to stand for. I am not one of those people who buy into that. I am not gonna allow an HIV diagnosis to spell out my life. I plan on living my life with my husband and our friends until my last breath......._

She typed as tears formed in her eyes. She thought about her impending wedding and the fact that she and Roger were already married. She was glad that she and Roger were able to have their intimate wedding before the tour. She hated that her wedding had turned into such a circus. With Maureen, Mrs. Davis and her mother involved, how could it not? But all she ever wanted was to be Roger's wife. She was staring down at the screen, when she heard the loft door open. She was sure it was Roger. She heard his guitar case hit the floor next to the door and his big combat boots hitting the hard wood floor. He shuffled when he walked, which made his presence unmistakable. She closed her laptop and set it aside on the bed before getting up and quietly leaving the room. "Hey." she called out quietly.

"Hey Baby. I didn't know anyone was home." he reached into the refrigerator for a can of beer.

"I was writing in the bedroom. You're home early. What... what happened?" she asked walking towards him.

"The kid didn't show up. Nate went looking for him and he was in his apartment strung out. I don't know what to do with him anymore." he muttered before taking a long gulp of beer.

"I'm so sorry Baby. Um... is there... is there anything I can do?" she asked sitting at the metal counter.

"You don't happen to play bass, do you?" he smirked at her.

"Not since the first time we met." she giggled.

"Too bad you didn't learn since then, huh?" he asked setting the beer on the counter.

"Yeah, too bad. Sorry." she smiled reaching over for his hand.

"It was worth a shot. I guess I should have taught you then." he chuckled looking down at her.

"Probably. Um... I was so nervous that day." she smiled up at him.

"You? I felt like a stupid high school kid." he laughed sitting across from her.

"Yeah, I tortured the hell out of Mark that day." she laughed remembering that day, less than a year ago.

"We came a long way, huh?" he smiled at her.

"I guess we did." she smiled gazing into his green eyes.

"Yeah, but I still feel like a stupid high school kid. The only difference is, the prom queen said yes." he smiled holding her hand in his.

"I was hardly the prom queen. I'm more like the AV geek who was lucky enough to have the captain of the football team ask me out." she laughed squeezing his hand.

"Captain of the football team, huh?" he laughed at the thought.

"Yeah. You did play football." she smiled at him.

"For half a semester and I got kicked off the team for my music." he smiled looking over at her.

"Whatever." she giggled reaching over for a sip of his beer. "Um... do you wanna go out for something to eat? My treat." she offered looking into his eyes.

"What did you have in mind?" he asked looking over at her.

"Pizza." she smiled at him.

"Cool. I'll get my coat." he leaned over to kiss her head as he got up from the stool.

"And I'll get my shoes and stuff on." she smiled rushing towards the bedroom. Since her diagnosis 2 months prior, her body had gotten used to her meds and she was feeling much better. She was eating more so she started gaining some of the weight that she lost back and had more energy.

"So Mrs. Davis, what prompted this little pizza craving?" Roger smiled holding his hand out as he stood by the door and she exited their bedroom.

"I don't know. I just wanted to go out with my husband." she smiled taking his hand and leaving the loft.

"And what else?" he asked curiously.

"OK, you... you got me." she looked up at him as they hit the street.

"What's up Baby?" he asked looking down at her.

"I um... I wanna tell our family about my HIV." she looked up at him.

"Are you... are you sure?" he asked confused.

"Yeah. I... I think it's best. It would be quite an uncomfortable surprise if they have to find out on their own. Especially since our moms are gonna see me taking my meds when we're there for the wedding." she looked up at him, clutching his hand tight.

"Yeah, that's gonna be hard to explain, huh?" he asked looking down at her.

"I don't want to have to explain anything to anyone. I don't want to have to hide. We... we're adults and did nothing wrong." she looked up at him.

"They're gonna hate me for getting you sick." he looked down at her.

"You did not get me sick Roger. I... I don't look at it that way." she looked up at him.

"I do, and I'm sure they're gonna look at it the same way. They're your family and they love you. I wouldn't blame your brother's if they kick my ass all over Jersey and back. I wish I could." he looked down at her.

"They will not. I'm not gonna let them. I'm a grown woman Roger. I can't help who I fell in love with and even though we took all the precautions, I'm positive anyway. You would never hurt me intentionally." she looked up at him.

"But I did. I'll... I'll never forgive myself for that James. Ever." he stopped and leaned against the building next to the pizzeria.

"You can't go on blaming yourself. I don't. I could never blame you." she reached up to caress his face.

"James, I'm your husband. It's my job to protect you. To look out for you. Exposing you to HIV is hardly protecting you." he looked deep into his wife's eyes. He didn't see the regret that he felt. He saw the light she always had shining in her vibrant blue eyes.

"You exposed me to a love I always dreamed of but never knew existed." she smiled up at him.

"Well, I... I guess all that's left to do is to live our lives and see what happens, huh?" he smiled down at her.

"Yep. Pretty much. Come on, I'm starving." she smiled leaning up to kiss him before reaching for his jacket dragging him into the pizzeria. They sat and ate their pizza, drinking beer laughing about various things. Roger told her about the when she and Mark were gone and how he cooked for Maureen.

"It was crazy. You would have thought she and I were married rather than you and me." he laughed before taking a huge bite from his pepperoni slice.

"Yeah, me and Mark were pretty funny too. He hovered over me so much." she picked up her beer bottle to take a sip.

"You were sick a lot during the tour, right?" he asked looking down at her.

"Yeah, I... I thought I had the flu. I was downing cold medicine and ibuprofen the whole time. I tried to sound normal on the phone with you." she set her beer bottle down to pick up her slice of extra cheese.

"Why... why did you get tested?" he asked looked over at her.

"We were in Arizona and I was on my laptop and I went on the internet to look up my symptoms on one of the medical websites. When I typed them all in, HIV was one of the results. I... I was upset at first, but I decided that when we got to Seattle that I'd go to a clinic to get tested. It was the last stop and we'd be there for almost a month, so all I had to do was sneak away from Mark long enough to get tested. That was the hard part." she looked up at him before taking a bite of her pizza.

"What do you mean?" he asked curious.

"When I was at the clinic getting the test done, he... he called my phone. I had to turn it off. Then when I got back to the hotel, he was pacing around the lobby like a jealous husband. I... I was really cruel to him." she looked up at him.

"But you said he was with you when you found out." he looked over at her.

"The next week, he followed me to the clinic. At first, he wanted to call you because he thought I was pregnant." she looked down at her pizza.

"He followed you?" he chuckled, finding the prospect of Mark being sneaky funny.

"Yeah, he... he was worried about me." she laughed looking up at him.

"He's a good guy James. I... I wouldn't have trusted anyone else to take care of you." he reached over for her hand.

"Yeah, he... he really looked out for me. He comforted me when I needed it and he made sure I took my meds on time and helped me when I was sick from them." she clutched his hand.

"So you guys got closer." he commented looking over at her.

"Not really closer, but we got back to the way we were before you and I got together. We... we used to be so close, but when you and I started dating, we... we lost touch in a way." she looked up at him.

"I guess I monopolized all of your time." he looked deep into her blue eyes.

"It's not your fault Roger. I... I wanted to spend time with you. In the beginning it was to get to know you, but then it became about making the most of our time together." she caressed his hand with thumb.

"Now we all have to make the most of the time we have, huh?" he brought her hand to his lips, kissing it.

"I guess so." she looked up at him lovingly.

"I'm not gonna take you for granted James. I... I swear. I'm gonna make sure you always know how loved you are and how appreciated you are." he smiled at her.

"I don't doubt that Roger." she smiled at him as they continued to eat their pizza.


	52. Chapter 52

4 days before the wedding. Jami is sitting in the clinic for a routine checkup. "Jami Davis." the nurse called out. She got up and went into the examining room. "The doctor will be in soon. Why don't you take this and give me a urine sample, then come in and put this on."

"Thank you." she looked over at her taking the cup for the urine sample before going into the bathroom. When she was done, she left the cup on the counter and went back into the examining room to change into the gown the nurse left on the table.

"Is everything OK Jami? I wasn't expecting you until next week." the doctor said as she entered the room.

"Yeah, it's just... me and Roger are getting married this weekend and I just want to make sure everything is OK." she looked up at her.

"That's understandable. Have you told your family yet?" she asked sitting on the stool.

"Not... not yet. We're telling them this weekend. Before the wedding." she looked over at her.

"They'll understand Jami. You have to believe that." she looked over at her.

"I know." Jami looked down as the nurse came into the room.

"Thank you." the doctor smiled looking down at the paper.

"Is everything OK?" she asked worried.

"That depends on your plans for the next 18 years." the doctor smiled at her.

"What... what does that mean?" she was now confused in addition to worried.

"Jami, you... you're pregnant." she smiled excitedly.

"I'm... but... I... oh my God." Jami covered her mouth in surprise.

"Jami, are you OK?" the doctor laughed looking over at her.

"Um, yeah. I just don't understand how I could be pregnant. I mean, me and Roger were waiting until after the wedding to do the IVF and we've been using protection." she looked over at her.

"Jami, do you want me to do an ultra sound to make sure everything is OK?" she asked seeing her patients discomfort.

"Yeah, can... can you? I just want to make sure everything is OK and I don't want this to be another ectopic pregnancy. That was really hard on us last time." she looked over at her.

"Yeah, I understand." the doctor smiled placing her hand on Jami's before leaving the room to get the ultra sound machine.

Jami leaned back on the table and caressed her stomach. "Pregnant? Oh my God." she whispered looking down at her flat stomach. The doctor came back in and set up the ultra sound machine. It showed that Jami was, in fact, pregnant. 5 weeks actually. And the baby wasn't in the fallopian tubes. It was nestled safely in her uterus. She left the doctor's office and walked home slowly. Thankfully, no one was home when she arrived. She went into her bedroom and lay down on the bed, thinking about hers and Roger's baby. She needed to figure out a way to tell Roger that she was pregnant. Soon she drifted off to sleep.

It's a little past 2 in the morning and Jami is sleeping soundly when Roger comes home. He tries to walk quietly as he enters his and Jami's bedroom. He looks down at his wife before sitting next to her. The shift in the bed jars Jami out of her sleep. Her eyes creep open as she looks up at her husband, who's shadow is lit from the street lights outside. "Hey, you're home. I tried waiting up for you, but I fell asleep. What time is it?" she asked rubbing the sleep out of her eyes.

"A little after 2 I... I think." he muttered. She could tell he had been crying.

"Roger, what happened?" she bolted up in the bed, scooting down next to him.

"The... the kid. He didn't show up to the studio again, so Nate went looking for him. He... he found him in his apartment. He... he OD'd." he broke down as Jami wrapped her arms around him, pulling him towards her.

"Oh my God. I'm... I'm so sorry." she cried softly into his shoulder before turning to kiss his head, which was resting on her shoulder.

"I... I told him. He... he looked at me like I was this old man who didn't know what I was talking about." he cried holding her tight.

"I know Baby. I know." she rubbed his back as he cried.

"How could he be so stupid James? How... how could he not listen to me? I've been where he was. I could have helped him." he cried into her bare shoulder.

"I don't know Roger. I... I guess he needed to find out on his own." she soothed his hair before kissing his head again.

"I've been there James. It's not like I didn't know what the hell I was talking about." he let go of her before getting up from the bed to pace the bedroom.

"Would you have listened if someone talked to you?" she asked looking up at him.

"They did talk to me and I... I didn't listen. I... I thought that nothing could touch me. But we both know that wasn't true." he wiped the tears from his face and eyes.

"This is not your fault Roger. You... you tried to help him, but he didn't want help. He wasn't ready to hear it." she took the blanket off of her legs to go to him.

"Yeah well, now he never will be." he whispered looking down at her.

"I'm sorry Roger." she reached up to caress his face.

"I can't believe this happened. I... I don't know what to do now. This was his dream too." he looked down at her.

"So continue it. It's what he would have wanted." she looked up into his sad green eyes.

"I should, right?" he looked down at her unsure.

"Absolutely. And maybe you could teach me how to play bass." she looked up at him trying to be humorous.

"It's hard James." he smirked down at her.

"How hard could it be?" she asked looking up at him.

"Are you serious? Because I'll teach you if that's what you want." he lifted his hand to sweep the hair away from her face.

"Can you imagine me playing bass? My luck I'd sprain my fingers or something." she laughed lightly.

"I guess I'm gonna have to play until we find someone permanently." he looked down at her.

"That's probably a good idea." she reached out to hold his bicep.

"I... I can't believe he's gone. He... he was so young and full of talent." he looked down at her.

"You know as well as anyone that youth and talent don't make you immune to this." she stood in front of him.

"Yeah, neither does love." he looked down at her.

"Nothing does Roger. Real life happens. There's nothing you can do to hide from it." she wrapped her arms around his waist, holding him close. He wrapped his arms around her shoulders, holding her head to his chest as he soothed her hair.

"I um... I'm sorry this happened before the wedding." he apologized looking down at her.

"You didn't do this Roger. You tried to save him. He just... he didn't want to be saved. You can't blame yourself." she looked up at him as tears rose to her eyes.

"I... I know. I just... I don't know how we're supposed to go to Jersey and have a nice weekend." he looked down at her.

"We do it because our life means something. We don't let loss define us. As painful as Joey's death is, we have to go on. I know that sounds insensitive, but we have to." she looked up at him.

"Yeah, I think... I think there's been enough loss. We... we need to celebrate life for a change." he looked down at her.

"And it's our time to celebrate a new life." she looked up at him.

"Yeah, I would hate not to see my beautiful wife in her beautiful dress, walking down the aisle towards me." he smiled sweeping her into a loving embrace.

"In front of a million of our closest friends and family." she laughed looking up at him.

"Pretty much." he smiled kissing her gently.

"Come on, let's go to bed." she looked up at him. Realizing that this was not the right time to tell Roger about their baby.

"Yeah, it's... it's been a long, exhausting day." he looked deep into his wife's gorgeous blue eyes.

"It's not gonna get any better, you know?" she looked up at him.

"We'll get through it James. I promise. I'm never gonna leave you." he whispered looking down into her eyes.

"I know Roger." she whispered wrapping her arms around his neck and holding him close. He leaned down, wrapping his arms around her waist picking her up. He led her to their bed, lying down and falling asleep in one another's comforting arms.

The next morning, Jami was woken up by Roger's cell phone. Jami reached over and grabbed it, so it wouldn't wake Roger up. "Rog." the voice on the other end spoke quietly.

"Nate? No, it's... it's Jami. Roger's still sleeping. He... he got home late last night." she whispered getting out of the bed.

"Yeah, I know. I'm... I'm sorry I woke you up. I just..." he stuttered as she left the room.

"No, it's... it's OK. He... he told me about Joey, are... are you OK?" she asked shutting the door behind her.

"Yeah, it... it hit Roger the hardest though. I wanted to call and check on him."

"Yeah, he... he was really torn up last night. There's no telling how he'll be today." she made her way to the window seat before sitting down.

"Listen, you guys have your wedding to look forward to. You should be thinking about that. Joey's... Joey's memorial is gonna be next week, so don't let this ruin your weekend, OK?" he told her.

"Thanks Nate. Um... tell his family that if they need anything to please call us, OK? I know he and Roger had their differences, but Roger really cared about him. He... he tried to be a mentor to him." she spoke quietly as Mark's bedroom door opened.

"I will Jami, thanks. Um... I better go. Just tell Roger I called when he gets up."

"I... I will. Um... you're gonna be in Jersey for the wedding, right?" she asked folding her legs in front of her.

"Of course Jami. I wouldn't miss it. Talk to you later." he hung up the phone as she closed the phone shut.

"What are you doing on Roger's phone? Did his girlfriend call again?" Maureen teased coming out of the bedroom.

"Joey OD'd last night and Nate was just calling to check on Roger." she told her quietly.

"Oh my god, I'm so sorry Jami. Is Roger OK?" she asked walking over to her.

"He's taking it really hard. He was his mentor and he made the same mistakes he did and he died because of it. He tried to help him, but he didn't want to be helped." she got up from the window seat.

"This might sound like a very insensitive question, but is this gonna effect the wedding?" she asked looking up at her.

"It's not insensitive Maureen. I... I thought about it too and we think that it's best if we go on as planned. I mean, we have to celebrate our life together too. We don't know how long we have. We have to make the most of the time we have." she told her fighting her tears.

"I know Jami, but I wasn't sure. I mean, with Joey gone and everything..."

"Joey was a cocky little prick who thought he knew it all. Roger tried to help him and it was tearing him apart that he refused to listen. It's not fair that he got off so easily and now my husband has to suffer for his stupidity." she yelled losing control.

"Jami, I'm... I'm sorry. I just..." Maureen went over to her.

"No, I'm... I'm sorry. I... I shouldn't have snapped at you like that. It's just... Roger tried to help him by sharing his own experiences with him and he threw it back in his face. Like Roger didn't know what he was talking about. He... he tried to save his sorry ass, but instead he had to go and kill himself with that crap." Jami broke down in tears.

"It's not something Roger didn't try to do back before he knew you." Maureen took her hand.

"I know, but... but Roger tried to help him and he didn't listen. Why didn't he listen?" she cried as Maureen brought her into her arms.

"I know honey. I know. Let it out."

"And the worst part about it is, I'm thinking about how this is gonna ruin Roger's chance at making his album. Am I a cold hearted bitch, or what?" she cried looking over at her.

"James, you couldn't be a cold hearted bitch if you tried." Roger told her coming out of their bedroom.

"Dammit, I wish this family would stop eavesdropping on each other." she laughed a little wiping the tears from her eyes.

"I... I couldn't help it. You weren't exactly quiet with your little outburst out here." he smirked at her.

"I'm sorry. Nate called and wanted to check on you and tell us that Joey's memorial service is gonna be next week and..." she started when he interrupted her.

"I'm fine James. I... I tried my best with him, but he didn't want to hear it. I'm beating myself up, but I can't help what other people do with their lives." he looked down into her tear flooded blue eyes.

"I'm just scared that you're gonna give up and you can't. I... I won't let you give up on your dreams. You're too talented." she insisted looking up at him.

"I won't. I... I swear." he reassured her.

"Because if you do..." she gripped the front of his shirt in her small hands.

"I swear James. I won't." he smiled lifting his hand up to caress her wet face.

"I love you so much Roger. I don't want to see this discourage you from doing what you were meant to do." she enjoyed the feel of his big hands on her face.

"I'm doing this for you Jami. You believed in me when I didn't even believe in myself. I can't let you down." he leaned down to kiss her soft lips.

"You could never let me down Roger. You've given me so much." she wrapped her arms around his waist and nestled her head in his warm, muscular chest.

"I guess my work here is done." Maureen smirked looking over at them.

"I'm sorry Maureen. There are some things only my husband can fix." she smiled looking over at her.

"I understand." Maureen smiled at them, enjoying the view.


	53. Chapter 53

In their bedroom, Jami closed the door quietly. She wanted to tell him about her pregnancy alone. "Come on, let's go back to bed. I'm still tired and I wanna hold my wife in my arms." he smiled over at her.

"Not... not yet. I... I want to tell you something first." she looked over at him.

"What is it James?" he asked looking over at his wife.

"I... I went to the doctor yesterday and she told me something that I... I should have told you last night, but with everything going on with Joey and... I... I didn't think it's the best time." she looked over at him.

"Baby, whatever it is, we'll deal with it. I swear. Are you lower? Already?" he asked concerned.

"Roger, I'm... I'm trying to tell you something and you're not listening." she walked over to the bed sitting on the bed.

"What Jami? What are you trying to tell me?" he asked standing over her.

"I'm... I'm pregnant." she whispered looking up at him. The tears brimmed from her eyes.

"You're... we're having a baby?" he whispered looking down at her.

"Um, yeah. We are." she smiled at him.

"Is everything OK? I mean, what about...?" he started when she interrupted him.

"She did an ultra sound and the baby is OK. It's right where it's supposed to be. Everything looks good. And she put me on new meds so the baby will be protected, so you don't have to worry about anything." she smiled at him.

"This is incredible James." he knelt down in front of her.

"It is, right?" she asked as he placed his arms on her knees.

"We need to tell everyone. Unless you already told someone." he looked into her eyes.

"You're the first and only. Um... except for the Dr. Matthews at the clinic. Don't you think we just keep this to ourselves for now? You know, just until after the wedding. I... I don't think I can take everyone worrying about my HIV, the wedding and me being pregnant at the same time. It's... it's a lot going on and I'm not sure I can handle all of it getting out at once." she looked over at him.

"You're... you're right Baby. I'm... I'm sorry. I just..." he stuttered getting up and sitting next to her on the bed.

"You're excited that you're gonna be a father. I understand." she laughed looking up at him.

"I'm ecstatic James." he leaned in to kiss her.

"Yeah, I'm pretty ecstatic too." she laughed leaning her head on his shoulder.

"Our baby is right in here. I can't believe it. I am the luckiest son of a bitch on the planet." he wrapped his arm around her shoulder, placing his other hand on her flat belly.

"You're the most wonderful man I've ever met." she whispered looking up at him.

"And now I'm gonna be a father." he smiled.

"Yep." she smiled.

"I can't believe I'm gonna be a father." he smiled down at her.

"Imagine how I feel. I've known since yesterday and I still can't believe it." she smiled up at him.

"I can't believe you didn't tell Maureen as soon as you got home." he laughed looking down into her beautiful blue eyes.

"I would not do that." she laughed looking up at him.

"Oh no?" he whined looking down at her.

"Fine, I told Maureen last time, but you were sleeping." she looked up at him.

"I forgive you." he smiled kissing her head.

"I... I have to get moving. We're leaving tomorrow for Jersey and I still don't know if I have everything we need." she leaned her head against him.

"You've been packing for 2 weeks." he laughed looking down at her.

"Yeah well, you've been distracting me the whole time." she looked up at him.

"How have I been distracting you?" he asked looking down at her.

"Because whenever you're around I can't think straight." she caressed his strong, muscular chest.

"Then, you're in trouble Baby. Because, we're married." he laughed caressing her back.

"You're telling me." she laughed nestling her head into his chest holding him tight around his waist.

They sat on the bed holding one another when there was a knock at the door. "Jami, I need your help." Maureen called out from the other side of the door.

"I better go see what the crisis is now." she smiled up at him.

"She's gonna be higher maintenance then having two babies around here." he laughed.

"Oh stop. She needs me. I like feeling needed." she smiled at him.

"I know Baby. I'll go through everything to see if I can figure out what you forgot." he smiled leaning down to kiss her head.

"Thanks. You're the best." she smiled reluctantly letting go of his waist to answer the bedroom door. "What is it Maureen?" she smiled at her.

"You have to help me. I don't know what to wear to your rehearsal dinner." she grabbed Jami's wrist and dragged her into her bedroom.

"Is that what this is about? An outfit for the rehearsal dinner?" she asked following her.

"We live with 3 guys. You're all I got." Maureen looked over at her as she stood by the closet in her room.

"Gee thanks. I get picked by default." Jami laughed looking over at her.

"I didn't mean it that way, it's just... the boys are useless when it comes to helping me pick out outfits. While you guys were gone, you don't want to know what get ups Roger would suggest I wear. I swear I was here for his own personal amusement." she laughed picking a sun dress out of the closet.

"I can imagine." Jami laughed looking over at her.

"Precisely, that's why I need you." she smiled holding the dress up to her. "So, what do you think?" he asked looking over at her.

"I like it. It's really pretty." she smiled at her.

"You really think so?" she looked down at the dress pressed against her expanding belly.

"I really do Maureen. You look so pretty in that." she smiled at her.

"Thanks." she smiled at her friend.

"Is it... is it weird that you're belly is growing?" she inquired looking over at her.

"A little, but I... I like it. I mean, I thought I'd be freaking out because I'd be getting fat, but I'm not. Whenever the baby moves, it's exciting. Like, there's a whole other person in here." she smiled looking down at her nearly 5 months pregnant belly.

"There is Maureen." she laughed at her.

"You know what I mean." Maureen smiled caressing her belly.

"Was it weird? Um... the first time the baby moved?" she asked looking over at her.

"Yeah it was freaky. It's funny actually. The first time he kicked we were in bed and Mark felt it, he got so scared. He felt something on his back and thought there was a mouse in the bed." she laughed hanging the dress back up in the closet.

"I wish I'd have seen that." she smiled at her.

"Next week we can find out what the sex is." she smiled at her.

"Are you excited?" Jami smiled at her.

"Yeah, I kind of am. I mean, I know we're gonna love the baby no matter what the sex is, but I've never been one for surprises." she laughed sitting on the bed next to her.

"Yeah, I... I know what you mean. When I was pregnant the last time, me and Roger couldn't wait until we could find out what the sex was." she smiled at her.

"Jami, you and Roger will get your chance again. You'll see. And then you'll have a healthy, beautiful baby that represents your love for each other." Maureen put her arm around Jami's shoulder.

"Yeah and Roger will have a little partner in crime." Jami smirked laying her head on Maureen's shoulder.

"Oh my god, you're right. This is not gonna bode well for us girls, is it?" Maureen laughed.

"I wouldn't worry too much. I think we can take him." Jami hugged her.

"Well until then, you guys can practice on mine and Mark's baby. We won't even fight you on 3 am feedings or anything." she laughed looking over at her.

"Gee thanks Maureen. That's mighty generous of you." Jami laughed as Roger listened from outside the bedroom, smiling.

"You're my best friend Jami, I'm here for you." Maureen laughed at her.

"Funny Johnson."

"I thought so Davis." Maureen laughed looking over at her.


	54. Chapter 54

Thursday morning. Roger, Jami, Mark, Maureen, Collins and Adam piled into the SUV Roger rented for the drive to New Jersey. Mark and Roger packed the car while Collins and Adam brought the bags down. With all the bags being brought down, Roger's eyes widened. "How long do you guys think we're gonna be gone?" he asked looking over at Jami and Maureen.

"Yeah, and we have a rehearsal dinner, a wedding and a reception to attend. Not to mention our down time. We need suitable clothes." Maureen pointed out looking over at him.

"Why can't you wear your brides maids thingy to the reception?" he asked ignorantly.

"Are you kidding? It's supposed to be very warm this weekend. My brides maids _gown_ is gonna be very uncomfortable after a while. Especially with me carrying around your niece or nephew all day long." Maureen argued matter of factly.

"Of course. I should have thought of that." he teased loading the bags into the back of the truck.

"OK, that's the last of them. We have to get going. I want to be there before my family gets there." Jami called out nervously.

"Relax Baby. We have plenty of time." Roger smiled at her.

"I just want to be able to refuel before they get there." she folded her arms across her chest.

"Everything is gonna be OK James. I'll be right there." he walked over to her, rubbing her upper arms comfortingly.

"I know. But I'm scared. I... I don't know how they're gonna take it. And not only do I have to worry about my family, I have your mom, Doug and Heather to worry about too. This is gonna be a very emotionally draining night." she looked up into his green eyes.

"Yeah, it is." he whispered bringing her to him.

"Come on. We... we better get going if we're gonna beat traffic." she looked up at him.

"OK Baby." he leaned down to kiss the top of her head before letting her go. "All in. Next stop Jersey." Roger called out as he got into the driver's seat of the truck. Jami got into the passenger side as the others climbed into the back of the 7 passenger vehicle.

They drove in silence most of the way while Jami played nervously with the radio stations. "Oooh, leave this." Maureen called out as a Bon Jovi song came on the radio.

"You like Bon Jovi?" Jami turned to look at her.

"Sure, why not? What's not to like? They're great." she smiled beginning to sing along to the radio. Before long the whole car was singing along. Jami looked over at Roger who was tapping his hands on the steering wheel and singing along.

"You too?" she laughed looking over at her.

"Hello, Jersey rocker." he laughed turning to her.

"Right. I should have guessed." she laughed reaching over for his hand before beginning to sing along with everyone else.

When they pulled up to the Davis residence, Heather rushed out to greet them. "You guys are here, finally. What took you so long?" she asked before Jami even had a chance to open the door to the truck.

"Hello to you too Heather." Roger called out getting out of the truck.

"Yeah, yeah, hi. Um, Jami can... can I talk to you for a minute?" Heather asked dragging Jami out of the truck.

"Yeah sure, we'll get the bags." Mark called out sarcastically as Jami shrugged back at him, following Heather into the house.

"Hi Jami. Bye Jami." Mrs. Davis called out laughing as the girls breezed through the living room headed for the stairs.

"Hi mom. Bye mom." Jami yelled out laughing as Heather dragged her into the bedroom. "What is up with you? You barely said hello to your brother?"

"He'll get over it. Um... Noah wants to come to the wedding and I don't know what to do." she told her quietly as she shut the bedroom door behind her.

"That's great. I don't see what the problem is." Jami looked over at her.

"OK, you do remember that I have 3 brothers right? 3 over protective brothers who are asses to each other on a good day. How am I gonna bring Noah to your wedding with the 3 of them there?" she asked looking over at her.

"Why don't you leave your brothers to me? I don't know if you remember this, but I'm marrying the middle one. He's wrapped around my little finger. With him down, the other 2 will fold like lawn chairs." Jami laughed going over to her.

"You really think so? Because, I don't think so." she rambled looking at her sister in law.

"Trust me Heather. I'll take care of the boys. Just worry about having fun with Noah." she smiled looking over at her.

"OK. Thanks Jami. I knew you could make everything OK." she leaned over to hug her.

"Of course I could. I'm super woman, remember? I can do anything." Jami laughed before they opened the door and went downstairs.

"Everything OK?" Roger asked looking up at his wife.

"Yeah, everything's fine. Just a small girl crisis. Nothing I can't handle." she smiled knowing just the mere mention of girl talk would stop him from asking any questions that may end in embarrassment as Collins and Adam brought the last of the bags into the house.

"Are you guys moving in or something?" Doug asked looking down at all the bags.

"No, we're not moving in jackass. We're gonna be here all weekend and apparently the girls need a billion outfits." Roger teased wrapping his arms around Jami.

"Not a billion outfits. Just a half a million." Maureen countered sitting on the couch.

"Or two." Roger groaned looking over at her.

"I don't know why you're being so pissy. You're getting married this weekend. You should be the happiest guy on the planet right about now." Heather looked over at her brother.

"I am happy Heather. I've never been happier in my life." he smiled kissing Jami's head.

"I made some food if you kids are hungry." Mrs. Davis smiled looking over at them.

"I could eat." Maureen smiled getting up from the couch.

"Oh my god, me too." Jami smiled following her.

"Maureen, when can't you eat?" Collins laughed looking over at her.

"Shut up. I'm pregnant. The baby is really hungry." she looked over at him before going into the kitchen.

"Oh, leave her alone Collins. She's eating for two." Mrs. Davis laughed following Maureen into the kitchen.

"With the way she eats, you'd think she was eating for 4." Roger teased.

"Quit it Davis." she looked up at him from the kitchen.

"I take it the girls are on edge." Mark looked over at Roger.

"Yeah, a wedding tends to do that to us girls." Heather looked over at them following behind them.

"Tough crowd." Mark grumbled before going in to the kitchen too.

"You think?" Roger smirked.

"Jami, did you lose weight? You look smaller than you did the last time I saw you." Mrs. Davis observed looking at her daughter in law.

"On the tour, it was hard to eat healthy. Our schedule didn't leave much time for normal meals. I'm gaining it back slowly." she covered as Roger looked over at Chris, who stood silently.

"I hope your dress still fits you sweetie." Mrs. Davis commented cluelessly.

"It does. I had my last fitting on Monday." Jami reassured her as she ate her sandwich.

"Don't eat too much. Save some for the Barnett's. They should be storming in soon." Mrs. Davis laughed looking over at her sons.

"Oh yeah, then the real party begins. I'm gonna get Stephan to give me a rematch at hoops." Doug looked over at Roger before taking a bite out of his sandwich.

"Good luck. He's good. He went All State back in the day." Jami smiled up at him putting turkey on her sandwich.

"I'm gonna beat him this time." Doug said with his mouth full of food.

"Dude, don't talk with your mouth full. God, that's gross." Roger laughed looking over at him.

"Since when are you a grown up?" he argued looking over at his brother.

"I'm gonna be a married man. I gotta grow up some time." Roger smiled down at Jami.

"Don't grow up too much Baby. I like that you're a big kid." Jami smiled up at him as he leaned over to kiss her head.

"I'll try Baby." he smiled at her as the family ate their sandwiches.

"Roger, tonight and tomorrow you're gonna stay at Chris' apartment with him and Jami and Heather are gonna sleep in your room, so Maggie can sleep in Heather's room." Mrs. Davis smiled at her son.

"Oh come on. Why do I have to stay at Chris' place? It smells funny." Roger groaned looking over at his mother.

"It does not smell funny. You just don't want to sleep away from Jami." Chris laughed at him.

"No, it's bad luck for the groom to see the bride before the wedding. I know that. But why tonight?" Roger smirked at him.

"You guys are gonna be married. You're capable of spending two nights away from each other. Anyway, I have something special planned for Jami tonight." Heather smiled at him.

"Oh come on. You're kidding. Both nights? How is that fair?" Roger whined looking over at his sister.

"Because it is. Don't be such a baby. Be a man. You're gonna be married in two days." Heather laughed at her older brother.

"Shut up squirt." he groaned continuing to eat his sandwich.

"Keep it up and I'll confiscate both of your cell phones so you can't talk to each other either." Heather pointed at her brother as he dropped his head in defeat.

"You wouldn't." Jami growled looking over at her sister.

"Try me." Heather laughed before eating her sandwich.

"This is gonna suck." Jami whispered looking up at Roger.

"Don't worry Baby. I'll kidnap you for a little while tomorrow." he smiled wrapping his arms around her.

"Deal." she laughed holding on to the back of his shirt. Enjoying a fun moment with their family before they need to deliver the HIV news.


	55. Chapter 55

In the Davis house, Roger and Jami sat nervously, waiting for everyone to settle down, so they could break the news of her HIV status. Mark, Maureen, Collins and Adam kept the boys busy in the Davis backyard to give the adults privacy. Mrs. Davis and Mrs. Barnett looked over at them, anxiously awaiting the announcement of what must be the birth of their shared grandchild. "OK, we're all here. What is this all about?" Mrs. Barnett asked looking over at her daughter.

"Mama, I... I need to tell you guys something and I want everyone to stay calm, OK?" she said looking up at Roger before clutching his hand tight.

"Calm about what James?" Stephan asked looking over at her curious.

"A few months ago when I... I was in Seattle on the tour, I went to the doctor and I... I was diagnosed with HIV." she looked over at her mother and Mrs. Davis, sadly.

"I don't believe this." Aidan called out getting up from his chair. Seeing this, Jami jumped up.

"Sit down Aidan." she stood in front of him.

"I don't believe you man. I... I thought you were gonna take care of her. You call this taking care of her?" Aidan looked down at Roger who was fighting tears.

"I know, I'm sorry man." Roger stood up.

"You, sit down. You. Outside. Now." Jami yelled at Roger before grabbing Aidan's shirt and dragging him out the front door and onto the porch as everyone watched quietly.

"Jami, why did you do that?" he asked looking down at her.

"What were you gonna do? Kick his ass?" she asked looking up at him.

"Sounds like a plan." he said looking down at her.

"You can't kick his ass Aidan." she looked up at him fighting a smile.

"Why the hell not?" he asked looking down at his younger sister.

"For one thing you're a 35 years old sales man from the suburbs and he's a 29 year old rock star who lives in the Alphabet City. I'm pretty sure he can take you." she looked up at him.

"Great. Make jokes James. That'll make everything better. What did he do to you?" he looked down at her.

"He didn't do anything to me. He's my husband. He would never do anything to hurt me intentionally." she put her hands on her hips, looking up at him.

"Not yet he's not." he looked down at her.

"Uh, yeah he kind of is." she looked up at him.

"What are you talking about?" he looked down at her.

"We're already married Aidan." she yelled up at him.

"What? When?" he asked looking down at her.

"Before the tour. We... we didn't want to wait. We wanted to do it for us. Alone at city hall. Tomorrow is for mama and everyone else." she looked up at him.

"You're already married?" he asked sitting on the top step on the porch.

"For 4 months. Aidan, we're in love. He... he never meant to do this. It just happened. You know this is killing him." she sat next to him.

"And now it's killing you too." he looked over at her as tears stung his eyes.

"It's not killing me. I'm on good meds and things look good. Really. I'm fine." she looked over at him.

"I'm sorry James." he looked over at her.

"Don't be. I'm... I'm fine. Really." she looked over at him as they heard the door open.

"Is everything OK out here?" Tommy asked looking over at them.

"Yeah Tommy, we're fine." she looked over her shoulder at him.

"Um... your... your husband wants to talk to Aidan." he looked down at her.

"You... you heard that?" she asked looking over at him.

"Everyone heard it James. You guys weren't exactly quiet."

"Oh man. Mama's probably pissed." she looked over at Aidan.

"Nope. She's just happy you got to do it the way you wanted already so she could do what she wants." he smirked down at her.

"Great. Leave it to mama to see a bright side." she laughed.

"Well you know mama." Tommy smiled at his younger sister.

"Yeah, I... I know mama. Is she OK? You know, about the other thing?" Jami looked up at him as she got up.

"She's fine James. She knows that this isn't Roger's fault. She actually talking to him now." he smiled down at her.

"That woman never ceases to amaze me." Jami smiled as they started into the house.

"I'm... I'm really sorry Aidan. I..." Roger started rushing towards them.

"No, I'm sorry man. I... I know you would never hurt her intentionally. I just... I over reacted." Aidan held his hand out to shake Roger's.

"Man, I don't blame you for wanting to kick my ass. If... if I could do it to myself I would have a long time ago." Roger looked down at Jami, who reached out and took his free hand in hers.

"I can't kick your ass man. You're my brother." Aidan smirked at him.

"Yeah, we... we couldn't wait." Roger looked over at his mother and mother in law.

"I'm sorry we got married without everyone. I felt like everything was getting out of control and we just wanted to do it for us, you know?" Jami looked over at them.

"We understand sweetie. A love like yours can't wait." Mrs. Barnett got up and went to her daughter.

"And you guys were getting crazy." Jami joked looking over at her mother and mother in law.

"OK, we were getting a little crazy. But we just want the best for you and Roger." Mrs. Davis smiled at her.

"We're not upset sweetie." Mrs. Barnett smiled at her.

"Thank you mama. I appreciate you understanding, about everything." she looked over at her.

"You're my only daughter Jami. I only want to see you happy. Roger does that." she smiled at her.

"He does mama. There's no one in this world who could make me happier than Roger does." she smiled as tears stung her eyes.

"I can see that sweetie. Everyone who looks at you two can see it." she smiled turning her attention towards Roger and his 'brothers'.

"Um mama, where's... where's Heather?" Jami asked looking around the room.

"I don't know. She... she must have snuck out while you and Aidan were outside." Mrs. Barnett looked around.

"Oh no." Jami exhaled before going over to Roger. "Roger, I need the keys to the car." she held her hand out as she stood next to Aidan.

"But Baby..." he started when she interrupted him.

"Heather's gone. I have to find her." she was becoming frustrated.

"Yeah but..." he was interrupted again.

"Roger, my sister is gone. Are you gonna stand here and argue with me, or are you gonna give me the damn keys?" she yelled looking up at him.

"Fine, here." he smirked to himself before reaching into his pocket and handing her the keys.

"Thank you." she grabbed them before storming out of the house.

"Where does she think she's going? She can't drive." Aidan smiled up at Roger.

"I tried to tell her, but you saw her." Roger smiled before leaving the house. When he got outside, Jami was sitting in the drivers seat with her head leaning on the steering wheel. He walked slowly over to the driver's side of the car. The window was open so he leaned in. "Everything OK?" he asked before reaching in to caress her hair.

"I... I can't drive. Why didn't you stop me?" she cried softly looking over at him.

"I tried, but you insisted on yelling at me in front of everyone." he laughed quietly before leaning in to kiss her head.

"We have to find her Roger. I don't even begin to know where she would go." she looked up at him as tears spilled from her eyes.

"Um... maybe we should try her boyfriends house." he suggested looking down at her.

"Her...? How do you...?" she started looking up at him.

"There's a lot I know that you girls don't know I know." he smiled as he wiped the tears from her face.

"She's probably a wreck Roger. What did I do?" she cried looking over at him.

"You didn't do anything Baby." he looked over at her.

"I ripped this family apart. Everyone has been effected by this, not just us." she cried leaning towards him.

"You did not rip this family apart James. Everyone loves you and they're concerned for you." he held her head to his shoulder through the car window.

"And just think. They don't even know about the baby yet." she looked up at him.

"One thing at a time Baby, OK?" he looked down at her.

"I... I have to find her. I... I have to talk to my sister." she looked up at him wiping her wet, tear stained face.

"Move over. We'll find her." he let go of her before reaching down for the door handle and opening the door. She moved over as he climbed into the car.

"How... how do you know about Noah?" she asked looking over at him.

"I didn't know his name, but that first weekend when she wasn't at breakfast, I kind of knew something was up. Then when we got here, she dragged you off to her room to talk about something. I figured it out." he looked over at her before starting inserting the key into the ignition.

"She was afraid that you guys would be jerks to him." she looked over at him.

"She knows us too well." he smirked starting the car before putting it into gear and driving off.

"She's bringing him to the wedding and I promised her that you guys will behave. It... it means a lot to her that you guys not give Noah a hard time." she looked over at him.

"OK Baby. We'll be good." he smiled as they drive until he spotted her car parked in front of a bar.

"There's her car. Pull over." Jami called out as Roger parked across the street. "Um... I really think I should go in alone. I... I really need to talk to her and if she sees you, she might run out the back or something." Jami took a deep breath staring at the front of the bar.

"Are you sure? I... I think I should go with you. She's a Davis, there's no telling how she'll react." he reached out for her hand.

"No, I... I think I can handle her. I have experience dealing with the hard headed Davis family." she leaned over to kiss him before reaching out for the door handle.

"I love you James. I've always loved you." he whispered holding her hand.

"I bet you say that to all the girls." she teased before getting out of the car. He placed both of his hands on the steering wheel before leaning his head against the headrest and closing his eyes, thinking about the mess that has become their lives.

Jami carefully crossed the street approaching the bar. She slowly opened the door before stepping inside. She noticed Heather sitting in a booth talking to a handsome young man. He was playing with her hair as she spoke to him. Tears flowing down her face. Jami took a deep breath before walking over to the table. "Heather, can... can I talk to you for a minute?" she asked quietly looking down at her.

"What is there to talk about Jami? You're positive, that's great, really. Now you can die just like my brother." she wiped her tears from her face. Jami could tell that she was angry and hurting.

"Please don't be like that Heather." she pleaded looking down at her sister.

"I'll give you two some time alone." Noah got up from the table before leaning down to kiss her head. "She's your sister. Listen to her Heather." he whispered before walking away.

"What do you want to talk about Jami? The fact that my brother is an irresponsible moron?" she looked over at her as Jami sat at the table.

"He is not an irresponsible moron Heather. It just happened. This is killing him too, you know that. He would never hurt me. Not intentionally." she looked over at her.

"Yet he did. How did he let this happen to you? How could he let my sister get sick?" she asked starting to cry again.

"He didn't let me get sick Heather. It just happened. Things just happen." Jami reached out for her sister's hand.

"How? How could this thing just happen? You guys used protection, didn't you?" Heather sobbed looking up at her.

"Of course we did. You know we would never take chances like that, ever." Jami looked over at her.

"So how could this happen? I... I don't understand. Make me understand Jami. Please." she cried.

"My best guess is, last year when I got pregnant. It's... it's a long story, but I have a feeling." she looked over at her.

"So what does this mean? I mean, for you guys? For your baby?"

"We're getting married, as planned and we can still have a baby. It'll just be a little more complicated this way." Jami told her quietly.

"How? Won't... won't your baby have HIV if you have it?" she asked wiping her wet face.

"The baby will be fine. I mean, I'll have to be on meds and have a c-section so the virus doesn't transfer to the baby during delivery, but we can still have our baby. Maybe more than one." she smiled fighting her tears wanting to tell her about her pregnancy.

"How could this have happened James?" Heather asked looking over at her.

"I don't know, but it did. We just have to take things as they come, you know? It's what we do." Jami looked up at the door where Roger was standing watching his wife and his sister.

"I'm sorry I ran out. It's just... I didn't know what to do. I mean, first my brother, now you... I can't take the thought of losing another person, you know?" she looked over at her as fresh tears stung her eyes.

"I understand Heather. I'm not going anywhere, and neither is your brother. You know what a stubborn ass he is. If anyone can beat this, it's him, right?" she smirked though her own tear filled eyes.

"Yeah, he is kind of a stubborn jerk. How do you put up with him?" she laughed through her tears.

"Hey, if I don't, who will? Anyway, he's my husband. I have to put up with him." she smiled at her.

"Yeah, I... I heard that part. I can't believe you did it without me." Heather swiped the tears from her cheeks.

"Sorry. I... I wanted to do it for us. Between you, Maureen and our moms, it was turning into a circus. I mean, I know you guys all mean well, but I just wanted to marry Roger. That's all I ever wanted. Tomorrow is for everyone else." she smiled looking up at her husband who was now talking to Noah at the bar.

"Yeah, I... I understand totally. We were getting out of hand big time." Heather smiled looking over her shoulder at her brother and her boyfriend talking. "Oh lord. I'm in trouble, aren't I?" she asked quickly looking away.

"I don't know. It looks like he actually likes him." Jami laughed looking over at her.

"That's because he wants to wait until he has back up. He works better with an audience." Heather laughed.

"Well he is a rock star. He was born for the spotlight." Jami smiled getting up from the table to go over to the guys.


	56. Chapter 56

Thursday night. Roger and Jami are hiding out next to the garage. Everyone else is inside the house enjoying the rehearsal dinner. Jami and Roger talked Heather into bringing Noah and the guys in the family have been monopolizing all of his time. Shocking Heather. Outside, Roger and Jami are sitting in one another's arms reminiscing about when they first started dating. Roger is playing with Jami's hair. "Do you remember that movie we watched on our first date?" Roger asked leaning in to her hair.

"Oh my god, I can't believe you're bringing that up. That was so embarrassing." she buried her face in her hands laughing.

"I liked that movie. We should watch it again sometime. You were so cute that day." he nuzzled in to her neck.

"Oh yeah, I was adorable. I cried on our first date at a lame chick flick and I was barely capable of forming full sentences." she laughed turning to him.

"I guess you were so busy trying to form full sentences that you missed my inability to speak too." he held her closer to him.

"And look at us now." she smiled up at him.

"Yeah, you still render me speechless sometimes." he laughed.

"Oh yeah? Just wait until Saturday. I'm gonna knock your socks off Mr. Davis." she laughed leaning in to kiss him.

"You always knock my socks off Mrs. Davis." he whispered kissing her more passionately.

"There you are. We were afraid you ran off and eloped. Oh wait, you did that already." Heather smirked sarcastically interrupting their tender moment.

"Yay, you found us. Now we'll close our eyes while you hide." Roger told her sarcastically.

"Oh no, I'm not falling for that one again. You guys left me for 4 hours." she put her hands on her hips staring down at them.

"You left her for 4 hours?" Jami slapped his chest.

"It was Chris' idea and Doug was all for it. I was out numbered." he whined looking down at her.

"This family is so weird. I love it." Jami laughed looking at her husband and then her sister in law.

"Good, because you're one of us now." Heather leaned down taking Jami's hand helping her up.

"What are you doing? I wasn't done playing with her yet." Roger laughed looking up at his sister.

"You are now. Come on. You have to go to Chris' place and me and your wife have plans." Heather looked down at her brother.

"I'll see you tomorrow Baby." Jami laughed leaning down to kiss her husband good bye.

"I love you James." he smiled holding her face in his hands.

"I know. I love you too Roger." she smiled before being dragged off by Heather.

"OK, enough of this smoochy face shit. We gotta go." Heather told them taking Jami to her car.

"Um... where are we going?" Jami asked getting into the front seat.

"Somewhere I know Roger didn't take you." she buckled her seat belt before starting the car and pulling out of the driveway.

"Where?"

"To see my dad. I know Roger hates going there. He hasn't been there since he came home to tell us about his HIV and the last time before that was when he was buried." she looked over at her.

"Oh. Um... OK."

"Are you OK with going there? I mean, Maureen told me that you go to visit Mimi and Angel all the time and..."

"It's fine Heather. I'm... I'm glad you want to take me." she smiled at her.

"You're his daughter now Jami. I... I want him to meet you." Heather smiled as she turned the corner.

"Do you think Roger would mind? Um... you taking me here without him?" she asked looking over at her.

"When have you known me to care what my brother thinks?" Heather laughed as she drove.

"Good point." she chuckled as the radio played some random rock songs.

"Dad would have loved you, you know? You make Roger really happy." she smiled at her.

"Roger really idolized your dad. He's afraid he's not gonna be the father your father was."

"In case you forgot, he's an idiot. He's gonna be the best dad ever. Mom always said that Roger was the most like dad than any of the boys. He's got a good heart. You guys are lucky to have each other." Heather smiled at her.

"And my child is lucky to have him as a father." she looked over at her.

"You're pregnant, aren't you?" she looked over at her.

"Um, yeah. I... I found out the other day." she looked over at her.

"Oh my God. Does... does Roger know?" she asked excitedly.

"Of course he knows. He's the only one who does, so please don't... don't tell anyone. I don't need everyone worrying about me. I... I'm on new meds for the baby and the doctor said everything looks good. She took an ultra sound to make sure it wasn't like last time."

"I promise. I won't tell a soul. This is so amazing. I'm gonna be an aunt." Heather smiled at her.

"Yeah, yeah. Watch the road Aunt Heather. Are we almost there?" she laughed looking around.

"Yeah, we're here." she smiled looking up and seeing and SUV parked by her father's grave. "What the hell?" she threw the car into park and turned off the engine.

"That's Roger's car." Jami unbuckled her seat belt and opened the car door.

"Did he implant a lojack on you or something?" Heather asked getting out of the car.

"James, what are you...?" he asked turning around to see his wife approaching him.

"Heather brought me. What are you doing here? I thought you don't like coming here." she asked looking over at her.

"I'm getting married this weekend and I wanted to talk to my dad." he walked over to her.

"And you're gonna be a father." she smiled up at him.

"Um... James." he stuttered looking over at his sister, who had a huge smile on her face. "She knows, doesn't she?" he asked looking down at her.

"You can say that." she smiled up at him.

"Great. Now she's gonna tell mom." he looked over at her.

"I will not. I promise My lips are sealed. I'm so happy for you guys." Heather cut in before hugging her brother.

"Yeah, yeah. Thanks sis." he laughed hugging her.

"Did you tell dad yet?" Heather asked looking up at him.

"I... I thought I'd start off by telling him about James and then lead into that part. He would have loved you." he smiled wrapping his arms around his wife.

"I have a feeling I would have loved him too. He gave me you." she whispered leaning up to kiss him.

"Thanks for ruining my night with Jami, Roger." Heather whined standing next to them.

"Sorry, I... I wanted to hang out with dad for a little while. I... I thought you were taking her to a strip club or something." he smirked at her.

"Well I knew you didn't bring her. I know how much you hate coming here." she looked over at him.

"Yeah, I... I guess it's still hard to believe he's gone, you know? Even after all these years." he looked over at her.

"I know big brother." Heather took his hand and held it tight.

"Dad um... this... this is James. She's my wife and the mother of my child. Yours and moms grandchild. She's great. She loves me more than I probably deserve." he smiled down at Jami.

"You deserve the world Roger. Don't ever forget that." she insisted fighting tears.

"I don't know what I did to deserve you, but I'm not complaining." he held her closer to him.

"Don't worry Mr. Davis, I'll keep him in line. And I won't let him give up his music. He's so talented, he deserves to be heard by as many people as possible." she smiled down at the gravestone.

"Daddy, Roger ruined my surprise. I wanted to introduce Jami to you myself." Heather fought tears squeezing Roger's hand.

"What's he gonna do? Ground me?" Roger laughed looking down at her.

"I don't know. I just wanted to tell on you and I can't tell mom, she's not here." she laughed leaning into him. He let go of her hand and put his other arm around his sister.

"I finally have a sister daddy. And she doesn't let Roger get away with anything either. I finally have an ally against the boys." she wrapped her arm around her brother's waist.

"We know you'll be with us on Saturday dad. We miss you so much." Roger looked down at the gravestone with his wife and sister at his side.


	57. Chapter 57

The next morning Jami woke up with Heather next to her in Roger's bed. She smiled as she got out of bed and slipped into her robe. The house was a little chilly, but it was early spring. She was just thankful it wasn't like the loft during the winter. As she got to the top of the stairs, she heard some old music playing in the kitchen and her mother and mother in law laughing. "This can't be good." she groaned to herself before making the trek down the stairs.

"Good morning sweetie. How did you sleep?" Mrs. Davis asked looking over at her as she stood in the doorway.

"OK. Heather kicks though." she laughed folding her arms across her chest.

"Yeah, I should have warned you about that. Sorry. Do you want coffee?" she laughed looking over at her.

"Roger usually makes me toast and orange juice for when I take my meds. If I have coffee right away it... it makes me sick." she looked over at her.

"OK sweetie. Do you have your meds?" Mrs. Barnett asked looking over at her.

"Yeah, they're... up in Roger's room." she looked over at her.

"Honey, are you OK?" Mrs. Barnett asked looking over at her daughter.

"Yeah, I'm... I'm fine mama. I just miss Roger. It's been a really long time since we've been apart. Not since the tour. I'll be OK." she looked over at her before turning around and going upstairs.

"Young love." Mrs. Davis smiled looking over at Mrs. Barnett.

"Yeah, it's a beautiful thing." Mrs. Barnett smiled before placing 2 slices of bread in the toaster.

When Jami opened Roger's bedroom door, she noticed Heather still sleeping. She reached out for her pill bottles that were sitting on the top of the dresser from the night before. There were 4 bottles. She started opening them and took a pill out of each bottle. "Do you have to take all of those?" a voice called out from the bed.

"Um... yeah. Twice... twice a day. It's not so bad really. I mean, in the beginning it was. I was sick all the time, but now I'm OK. Roger makes sure I have my toast and orange juice to take it with, but it's a small price to pay not to throw my guts up all day long." she explained looking back at her sister in law, who was leaning on her elbow.

"Is that how you lost all that weight?" Heather asked sitting up in the bed.

"Pretty much, yeah. I'm gaining it back slowly, but the doctor said that it's normal. She said I'll gain more as the baby grows. But in the beginning it was really hard. I... I didn't think I could do it, but Mark was really there for me. He didn't take my crap." she looked down at the floor.

"Roger trusts Mark with his life. He should, he saved it enough times." Heather got out of the bed to go to her sister in law.

"I know. I owe Mark everything. And I do I mean, everything. When I first met him, I had nothing. I was alone in the world. But look at me now. I have an amazing family. He saved both mine and Roger's lives so many times. I... I don't know what I would have done if Mark hadn't come into my life." Jami looked up at her.

"You guys really are a great family. You deserve it Jami. You all do." Heather hugged her.

"You've given me a great family too Heather. Growing up with 5 brothers, I finally have a sister." Jami smiled at her.

"Yeah, you can blame your impatient husband for that." Heather smiled before letting go of her sister in law so she could take her HIV meds.

"Our moms are downstairs making breakfast together." Jami smiled taking a deep breath.

"This should be fun." Heather laughed looking over at her.

"I don't know. When they first met, that night at the club, I thought it was a little unsettling, but now I like it. They need each other." Jami collected her meds before the women headed down the stairs.

"There's my beautiful bride." Roger called out before getting up from the kitchen table.

"Roger, you're here." she exhaled rushing over to her husband.

"I missed waking up next to you." he whispered cupping her face before leaning down to kiss her.

"Me too. Heather kicks." she laughed fighting back tears.

"I do not." Heather whined looking over at them.

"Chris talks in his sleep and he snores like a drunken sailor." he laughed countering her.

"I do not." Chris laughed at them.

"You win." she laughed wrapping her arms around his neck as he laced his around her waist and picked her up.

"Did you take your meds?" he asked in her ear.

"Not yet. I was just about to. I am so glad you're here." she smiled holding him close.

"I missed my girl." he leaned in to kiss her head before putting her down.

"I missed you too." she held him tight around his neck.

"Um... do you two mind? You're not the only ones here, you know?" Heather called out teasingly, but enjoying the view at the same time.

"Sorry. We just... um... sorry." Jami laughed leaning into Roger's chest.

"... don't realize there are other people on the planet? Yeah, we can see that." Mrs. Barnett smiled at them as toast and a glass of orange juice sat in front of her.

"Sorry mama." Jami smiled before Roger let her go and went over to her mother.

"That's OK sweetie. Toast and orange juice, as requested." she smiled holding the plate and glass up to her daughter.

"Thanks mama." she picked up the toast before taking a bite as she gripped her pills in her other hand. She took another bite before setting the toast down and and putting her pills into her mouth and washing them down with a half a glass of orange juice. Everyone looked on in silence, concerned for her. "I'm fine you guys. I do this every day. Twice even." she smiled lightheartedly at her family.

"I know, it's just... we're sorry sweetie. We didn't mean to stare." Mrs. Davis smiled at her daughter in law.

"I'm fine. As long as I take them with toast and orange juice I'm fine. It's something Mark and I learned while we were on tour. If I take them on an empty stomach with coffee, I tend to be sick for a while." she looked at them as Roger wrapped his arms around her.

"I take care of her Mrs. Barnett." Roger reassured them.

"We take care of each other Roger." Jami corrected looking up at him.

"Yeah, we... we take care of each other." Roger leaned down, kissing his wife's head.

"OK, enough of this. What have you two been up to?" Jami shrugged off the serious conversation.

"We've been making a spread for a hundred people." Mrs. Barnett laughed looking over at her.

"Yeah well, we have close to that." Jami laughed looking over at her.

"Where is everyone anyway?" Roger asked looking over at her.

"They should be here around 9ish." Mrs. Barnett smiled at her son in law.

"I'm gonna need some coffee." he laughed going over to the coffee maker.

"I'd say so. The boys didn't get to play with you much yesterday. I have a feeling they're gonna want to make up for lost time." she laughed.

"Those boys are gonna kill me." he laughed pouring himself a cup of coffee.

"Just think Baby. It's good practice for when we have a child." Jami smiled at him.

"You're still gonna do that?" Mrs. Barnett asked looking over at her surprised.

"Yes mama, we are. There's no reason why we can't. I mean, I have to be on special meds and take other precautions so the baby doesn't get it, but Roger and I want a baby." she explained looking over at her mother.

"I just assumed that with your... illness, that you wouldn't be trying to have a baby anymore." she looked over at her.

"My illness has nothing to do with me having a baby, mama. We love each other and still want one. This doesn't change anything." she looked at her mother as Roger, Mrs. Davis and Heather looked on silently.

"James, do you think it's wise to bring a child into the world with your illness? I mean, your health is not very stable." she tried to stay calm, but Jami could sense her apprehension.

"My illness is HIV mama and I'm fine. It's not a death sentence. I'm not dying. Me and Roger are healthy and we will be around for our baby." she argued looking over at her mother.

"I'm just concerned for your health Jami. Wouldn't carrying a baby jeopardize that?"

"No mama. There are meds that can protect me and the baby and I'll have a c-section so the virus doesn't transfer to the baby, but it's safe. I'm not giving up on having my husbands baby." Jami told her as Roger came up behind her.

"I would never do anything that would jeopardize Jami's health. The second the doctor says that Jami is at risk, that's it. It's off. I'm not gonna lose my wife for anything. She's my first priority." he insisted looking over at his mother in law.

"I... I know Roger. I'm... I'm sorry. I'm just worried about my daughter." she apologized.

"I understand. I worry about your daughter too." he leaned on Jami.

"I know. I guess I'm an over protective mother, huh?" she smiled at him.

"That's OK mama. He's an over protective husband, so I think I'm pretty well covered." she teased looking up at her husband.

"I am not over protective." he argued looking down at her.

"You are too." she smiled up at him.

"It's good to be loved, isn't it?" Mrs. Davis smiled at her daughter in law.

"I'm... I'm gonna go get dressed. Everyone should be here soon and I don't want to still be in my pajamas." she looked up at Roger as he smiled down at her.

"I'll come with." he smiled as they disappeared up the stairs.

"And there they go." Heather laughed looking over at her mother and Mrs. Barnett.

"Can you believe her?" Jami asked shutting the bedroom door behind them.

"Believe what? That she's concerned about you? The crazy bitch." Roger teased jumping on the bed.

"No, telling me that I shouldn't have a baby with you because of my 'illness'. Like my HIV is gonna effect the kind of mother I'm gonna be." she looked over at him.

"She did not say that Jami. She's just concerned for your health. She doesn't want a pregnancy to put stress on your body. Neither do I." he propped his head on his arms to look up at her.

"The doctor said I'm fine. The baby is not gonna hurt me." she looked over at him.

"Good. Because the minute the doctor says that you're in danger, I'm not going along with it anymore. I'm not gonna lose you James." he insisted.

"I'm not giving up on our baby Roger, so don't ask me to." she looked over at him.

"I will not sacrifice your life for our child, so don't ask _me_ to do _that_." he countered looking over at her.

"I'm fine Roger. And I'll make a great mother." she looked over at him.

"No one said you wouldn't."

"She may not have said it, but that's what she meant. Like, what kind of mother would bring a child into the world when both parents are HIV positive and could die at any time?" she leaned against the dresser looking down at him.

"She would never mean that Baby. She knows what a great mother you'll be. Just like I do." he got up going to her.

"Would I? I mean, what kind of mother would condemn their child to become an orphan?" she looked down at her stomach with tears in her eyes.

"Our child would never be an orphan. We'll make sure of that." he put his hands on her stomach.

"How? We're both positive. We can't live forever." she blinked as tears spilled from her eyes.

"I've been thinking about that and I think we should appoint Mark and Maureen to be the baby's guardians. I kind of already spoke to them and they want to do it." he looked down at her.

"You... you spoke to Mark and Maureen about this? Already?" she asked surprised.

"I think about things James. I asked them before you told me you were pregnant. I want this baby with you, but I'm not going into this blindly. I have to look towards the future." he looked down into her blue eyes.

"And they... they agreed? Just like that?"

"Of course they did. Did you expect them not to want to be there for our child?" he smiled down at her.

"If I could pick anyone to be parents to our child, it would be Mark and Maureen." she smiled through her tears.

"I know Baby. That's why I asked them. I don't want you to have to worry about our child in the event that something does happen to us." he wrapped his arms around her.

"When... um... when something happens to us Roger. It's inevitable. Angel and Mimi are proof of that." she held on to his shirt tight.

"Yeah James, they are. But they're looking down on us. They won't let anything happen to us or this baby. I truly believe that." he leaned down kissing her head.

"Me too Roger. I have to. For you and our baby." she looked up at him before bowing her head to nestle tightly into his chest.

"Our baby is the luckiest kid on the planet. With a mother like you, there is no luckier kid around." he smiled down at her.

"And you're his father." she smiled up at him.

"That's right." he smiled kissing her head again, thinking about his life and how perfect it was.

Jami got dressed and they went downstairs for breakfast with everyone. Maureen and Adam were laughing about the pictures of Roger from when he was younger. Everyone else was eating and laughing. "We got some family, don't we?"

"Yeah, we really do." he smiled with his arm around her waist before leaning down to kiss her head.

"Uncle Roger, come play with us." TJ yelled running over to him.

"I'd love to buddy." he laughed allowing the 5 year old to drag him off.

"How are you doing this morning?" Aidan asked looking down at his sister.

"I'm really good Aidan. Thanks. I took my meds and I'm fine. See? Don't worry so much big brother. You'll get wrinkles." she teased looking up at him.

"Ha ha." he laughed putting his arm around his little sisters shoulders.

"I'm serious. I'm fine. Mama made me toast and orange juice to take with my meds and I'm fine. I promise."

"I know. She told me. And she also told me that you're still thinking of having a baby. She's worried." he looked down at her.

"She shouldn't. I'm fine. Really." she smiled up at him.

"But she's mama, she does. She just doesn't want anything to happen to you or yours and Roger's baby. And with two HIV positive parents, it's..." he started when she cut him off.

"I would never put myself or our baby in danger Aidan. I hope you realize that." she insisted, looking up at him.

"I... I hope not James." he looked over at his wife who was giving him a dirty look. "I better shut up now. My wife is shooting daggers at me from across the room."

"With good reason. You're being a jackass right now." she commented before walking away from him.

"Is everything OK?" Mark asked walking over at her.

"Yeah, nothing I... I can't handle. Do you want something to eat? I had my toast and orange juice to take my meds, but I need more." she asked going into the kitchen.

"James, it's me. Talk to me." he asked standing behind her.

"My mother and brother think it's stupid that me and Roger still want to have a baby. Because of my HIV." she looked up at him.

"You don't believe them, do you?" he asked looking down at her.

"No, it's... it's just hard not to let them get to me sometimes. I'll be OK." she looked up putting eggs onto a plate for herself.

"Don't let them. You are gonna make a great mother and the way Roger is with those boys, he's gonna make a great father." he looked over at Roger.

"Yeah, and you're gonna make a great father, not only to your own child, but to mine and Roger's too." she smirked at him.

"He... he told you that he..." he asked looking down at her.

"Yeah, and I couldn't have thought of two better people to ask. Thank you for saying yes."

"What else was I gonna say Jami? You two are my two best friends. It'll be my honor to raise your child. But not too soon, OK? I don't know if I can handle both Maureen and Roger's spawns at once." he joked looking down at her.

"Too late." Jami told him quietly.

"You're...?" he asked looking over at her.

"Shh, no one else knows and I don't want anyone to know until after the wedding." she shushed him dragging him across the kitchen and out the back door to the yard.

"Who else knows?" he asked.

"Roger, of course and Heather. I... I kind of told her last night, but that's it. Please don't tell anyone." she pleaded quietly.

"How long have you known?"

"A few days. I went to the doctor for my check up and I found out then." she smiled at him.

"This is great. I'm really happy for you two." he smiled taking her into his arms.

"It is pretty great, huh?" she smiled.

"You're on meds, right?" he asked concerned.

"Of course Mark. The doctor changed them as soon as we found out. It's a couple of more pills, but it's gonna be worth it when the baby is negative."

"And he will be. There's only a small chance."

"I know. We better get back to everyone else or they'll know something's up." she smiled at him.

"Congratulations honey. You deserve this." he smiled at her.

"Thanks." she smiled going back into the house and over to the food as Roger smirked over at her.


	58. Chapter 58

It's the night before the wedding and dinner is just winding down. Upstairs, Jami and Roger are lying in Roger's bed enjoying some time alone. She's laying on his chest as he plays with her long blond hair. "Do you realize tomorrow you're gonna be Mrs. Roger Davis, again?" he asked looking down at her.

"I think I remember someone saying something like that." she laughed looking up at him.

"I can't wait." he smiled down at her.

"Roger, we're already married and I'm pregnant." she laughed sitting up in the bed.

"And Mark knows." he smirked at her.

"I had to tell him. He's my best friend." she defended herself.

"I didn't say anything. I'm glad he knows. Keeping this secret is killing me." he laughed looking down at her.

"You didn't tell Chris last night?" she taunted looking down at him.

"Nope. You asked me not to tell anyone, so I didn't. I'm letting you take the lead on this one." he lifted his hand to her face.

"Thanks Baby. We'll tell everyone soon. I promise. I just want to get through the wedding first."

"It's OK. Tomorrow is gonna be so great."

"You remember that tomorrow is for everyone else, right?" she laughed.

"I know that. I just can't wait to finally wear my wedding ring. I've been wanting to wear it for months."

"You'll officially be mine, Davis. No more young girls drooling over your every move." she teased holding his hand in hers.

"Hey, a wedding ring is a real chick magnet." he teased her back.

"You better not Davis. You look at no one else but me. That's an order." she playfully punched his chest.

"I can with that. Besides, I only have eyes for you." he smiled leaning up to kiss her. Just as his lips were about to touch hers, there was a knock at the door.

"Roger, Chris is leaving. With or without you." Heather called out through the door.

"I'm gonna kill that girl." he whispered looking into her blue eyes before continuing to kiss her lips.

"No you're not. Remember, you have me and your baby to take care of." she laughed lifting her hand to caress his face.

"I'm gonna spend the rest of my life loving you and our children James." he smiled at her.

"Children, huh? Can I give birth to this one first? I mean, before you start planning our other children." she laughed looking down at her.

"Sure Baby. I just love you so much and want as many little ones as we can get." he smiled at her.

"Mark and Maureen are in trouble." she laughed gazing into his eyes.

"We'll talk." he smiled at her.

"OK." she leaned in to kiss him tenderly. "You better go." she whispered feeling weak.

"OK. I'll see you tomorrow. I'll be the one in the tux waiting for the love of his life." he smiled at her.

"And I'll be the girl trying not to trip over her shoes on her way to her prince charming." she laughed looking into his green eyes.

"You're gonna be fine Baby. I know it." he smiled at her.

"You better be going. Chris is bound to make you walk home if you keep him waiting anymore." she smiled at him.

"You're my home James. You always will be." he kissed her again.

"You're mine too Roger." she whispered.

"I love you Jami." he smiled taking her into his loving arms.

"I love you too Roger. Now, go. I'll see you tomorrow." she smiled as he reluctantly got up from the bed.

"I'm going. I'm going." he chuckled. When he opened the door, Heather was standing outside the door. "Hey, Heath..." he started when she interrupted him.

"Don't worry Roger. I'll get her to you in one piece tomorrow." she smiled up at him.

"Thanks sis. That means a lot to me. Just make sure she takes her meds in the morning, OK?" he smiled leaning down to hug her.

"I will. I promise. They'll be OK." she hugged him tight.

"I know. Um I... I better go or I never will. I don't like leaving her." he whispered.

"You're not leaving her Roger. You could never leave her." Heather fought tears as he brother let go of her and rushed down the stairs. She heard the front door shut before going into the bedroom. "Is everything OK?" she asked Jami.

"Yeah, I'm OK." she smiled at her. "That man does things to me." she shrugged her off.

"I understand. He worries about you." Heather smiled closing the door behind her.

"Yeah, I know. He loves me." she smiled at her from the bed.

"Have you had any morning sickness yet?" Heather asked changing the subject.

"Not yet. But I'm only 5 weeks along." she laughed.

"That's good."

"It's weird. I... I don't feel pregnant yet, you know? I mean, last time... I was tired a lot and I had morning sickness early on. I guess I'm just running on adrenaline right now." she laughed looking over at her sister.

"Good thing, mom wanted me to make sure you got to bed early because we have a lot to do tomorrow. It would be embarrassing for you to have morning sickness with a house full of people." Heather laughed looking over at her.

"I'm in big trouble, aren't I?" Jami laughed.

"Yeah, I'd say so. With hair and make up, you're gonna think you're walking the red carpet." Heather laughed getting on the bed.

"I don't want that much make up. I know I'm gonna be crying as soon as I see Roger in his tux." she laughed at her.

"I have a feeling you will too." Heather laughed at her.

"What? I've... I've never seen him in a tuxedo." she lowered her face bashfully.

"It'll be OK Jami. I don't think our moms will go too crazy."

"Well, tomorrow is for everyone else." Jami laughed getting under that covers.

"How did that happen anyway? You guys deciding to elope?" she asked at her sister.

"It was before the tour and mama was driving me nuts about Aidan walking me down the aisle and Roger came up with the idea. He didn't want to wait. He wanted me to be his wife as soon as possible, so we went down to city hall and did it. No one knew. Not even Mark and Maureen. Well, they knew, but we didn't know they knew. They heard us talking out in the kitchen that morning." she smiled over at her.

"My brother is so impulsive." she laughed looking over at her.

"That's how we got engaged, why shouldn't it have been how we got married." Jami laughed laying down on the pillow.

"Yeah, I guess. But it's what works for you guys." she smiled.

"He's a romantic. But he's more realistic than you think." she smiled at her.

"How do you mean?" she asked confused.

"He already came up with a plan for the baby if anything happens to us." she looked over at her.

"I... I thought you said that no one knew about the baby."

"No one does. Well, except Mark now. I... I told him at breakfast. But he talked to Mark and Maureen before we knew I was. He... he wanted to have a plan." she smiled at her.

"My brother never ceases to amaze me." Heather looked over at her.

"Yeah, I guess he thought it was time for him to be responsible. You know, since he's a married man and everything." she smiled at her.

"I can't believe Roger is married." Heather laid her head back onto the pillow.

"I know. And I can't believe that I'm the girl he married. You know, for almost a year, I was hanging out with Mark and he was showing me films and telling me about Roger and everything he's been through and I felt for him. I... I had feelings for him long before I actually loved him. Does that make any sense?" she asked looking over at her.

"Yeah, it does. In case you missed it, my brother is good looking. Who could blame you for falling for him?" she smiled at her.

"It wasn't that. I mean, it was a little but not entirely. I just... I saw what he went though and I watched his transformation. I don't know, there was something mesmerizing about him. I... I couldn't help but want to know more about him."

"And now you're married to him and having his baby." Heather smiled at her.

"Yeah, I... I know. Sometimes it doesn't seem real. At first I couldn't form full sentences around him and now I can't be without him." she remembered.

"He can't be without you either Jami." Heather smiled.

"I know." Jami whispered before the women fell asleep.

The next morning Jami and Heather were woken up early by Mrs. Barnett and Mrs. Davis. They shared a light breakfast, so Jami could take her meds. She turned down a cup of coffee, claiming to be too wound up as it was. Maureen stayed with the girls while Doug, Mark, Collins and Adam went over to Chris' apartment to help Roger get ready. The Barnett kids joined their mothers at the Davis house. They played in the yard after Mrs. Barnett and Mrs. Davis made them breakfast. Jami teased Maureen about her expanding belly as she exchanged glances with Heather. The only person who knew that Jami's belly would soon be expanding as well.

Jami showered quickly so her hair and make up could be worked on. She wore a pink terry cloth bathrobe as her mother and mother in law fussed over her hair and make up. Maureen and Heather sat back, out of the way, knowing that they would just be snapped at if they dared to cut in. Leaving them in charge of wrangling Jami's sister in laws and making sure Jami's dress and veil were pressed and ready for her to wear.

"She is hating this, isn't she?" Maureen asked Michelle as they sat in the kitchen.

"Pretty much. James has never been good at being treated like a girl." Michelle smirked at her as Jess cut in.

"But that's because papa didn't allow her to be treated like one. Stephan never understood that." she looked at her.

"What didn't he understand?" Heather asked.

"Well, at first papa didn't approve of her being treated differently, but then he wanted her groomed to be a wife and a mother. He didn't know how to deal with a girl." Julie answered as the other ladies nodded.

"Yeah well, she's a wife now." Cindy laughed looking over at them.

"And she plans on being a mother soon." Maureen smiled at them.

"But he wouldn't have approved of her lifestyle." Julie looked over at her.

"Can't blame him for the HIV thing." Heather added.

"No, he would have hated that she married a man who supports her career and is proud of the fact that she's a successful screen writer. In his day, women didn't have careers. At least not after they got married. He would have expected her to quit her career and be in the kitchen barefoot and pregnant from the moment she said I do." Julie said looking down.

"Yeah, papa was old fashioned. But it was all he knew." Cindy looked over at her.

"But she got out. She fought for her independence and papa had no choice but to let her go. And now look at her. Look at how happy she is." Michelle smiled.

"Did you know that they're still thinking of having a baby?" Heather asked feeling out the sister in laws.

"Mama mentioned something about that last night. She's worried about her, but I think it's great. If they love each other like this, imagine what kind of parents they'll be?" Michelle smiled at them.

"Yeah,thait's gonna be fun to watch." Maureen smiled at her.

"I envy you and Mark." Michelle smiled at Maureen.

"Why's that?" Maureen asked confused.

"Because I love seeing them together. You get to see it every day. They're love is inspirational. They love each other no matter what and they take whatever comes at them, together. It's like, nothing can hurt them as long as they're together. I think it's sweet." she answered smiling at her.

"Jami's given Roger just as much as he's given her. Maybe more." Heather smiled thinking about the baby that was about to grace their family.

"I doubt that. Roger's a good man." Michelle looked over at her as the girls continued to drink coffee and tea.

"I'm gonna kill you Heather." they heard Jami call out from upstairs before hearing the bathroom door slam.

"What the hell was that?" Michelle laughed looking over at Heather.

"I think I jinxed her. She was saying that she wasn't nervous about getting married and now I'm guessing her nerves are taking over." Heather laughed, covering the real reason why Jami was yelling at her. "I better go check on her." she got up and went up to the bathroom. "I'm coming in. Don't get up." she called out smirking to herself. "Please." she added quietly.

"I hate you, get out." she looked up at her as she was bent over the toilet.

"Is it your meds?" Heather asked looking down at her.

"You know damn well it's not my meds. It's morning sickness." she groaned looking up at her.

"Jami, it was inevitable. You know it's not my fault." she smiled leaning against the door.

"The hell it isn't. You're the one who had to mention it and now I have morning sickness. Who should I blame?" she asked wiping her mouth. She had curlers in her hair from her mother and mother in law doing her hair.

"My guess is, my brother for knocking you up." she laughed at her.

"This is not funny Heather. It's my wedding day and I'm bent over a toilet with morning sickness." she leaned against the wall next to the toilet.

"Oh yes, it is. It's hilarious. You get morning sickness on your wedding day with a house full of women. All of whom are mothers or will be mothers, except me, but I know your secret, so I don't have to read between the lines. Karma's a bitch." she looked over at her.

"Oh shit. What did you tell everyone?" she asked looking up at her in a panic.

"I told them it was your nerves, but I don't think they'll believe that for long. I think your secret's about to come out." she folded her arms across her chest.

"Fuck. I should have known I couldn't get away with this. Roger's child has a twisted sense of humor already." she chuckled to herself.

"Davis gene. Even in the womb, we can't help ourselves." she laughed looking over at her.

"I'm gonna have to tell them, aren't I?" she asked looking up at her.

"Why don't you call Roger and talk it over with him? Use my cell. I'll be downstairs doing crowd control." she smiled handing her her cell phone.

"Thanks sis. You're the best." she smiled taking the cell phone from her before watching Heather leave the bathroom. "This is gonna suck. Thanks kid. You're a big help." she groaned looking down at her belly before calling Roger's cell phone.

"Yeah Heather." he answered picking up the phone.

"It's not Heather. It's me. Um... we need to talk." she leaned her head against the wall.

"What happened? Are you...?" he started when she interrupted him.

"I'm fine. I swear. Um... except for a little morning sickness. Your child is just as twisted as you are." she smirked.

"Oh man, I'm sorry Baby." he laughed finding it amusing.

"Are you gonna laugh at me or are you gonna take this seriously?" she asked getting flustered.

"Sorry James. What's the problem?" he asked going into the other room.

"I have morning sickness and I have a feeling I'm gonna have to tell everyone here." she started to get up and sit on the bath tub.

"Why?" he asked closing Chris' bedroom door.

"Oh let's see, everyone here has either had a baby or knows the symptoms of having one. I think it's inevitable."

"Are you sure you want to do this?" he asked.

"No, but I don't see any way around it. You tell the guys while I tell the girls." she decided.

"You really want to do it like this?" he asked sitting on the edge of Chris' bed.

"I have to Baby. It's gonna come out sooner or later. This seems like as good a time as any."

"OK, I love you James. I'll see you at the church in a couple of hours." he smiled thinking about his beautiful wife getting ready for their wedding.

"I love you too Baby." she smiled before hanging up the phone and getting up. "Here goes nothing little one." she whispered looking down at her belly before opening the door.

"Are you OK dear? Is it your meds?" Mrs. Barnett asked looking over at her daughter.

"I'm fine mama. Um... just a little..." she started when Mrs. Davis interrupted her.

"Pregnant? Yeah, we figured." she smiled at her.

"How long have you...?" Jami asked as everyone stood in the hallway out side the bathroom.

"Just since yesterday. You and Roger were acting a little weird and I caught him rubbing your belly once or twice when you thought no one was paying attention. This morning just confirmed it." she smiled throwing her arms around her daughter in laws shoulders.

"This family sucks." she laughed looking around.

"And Heather knew before me? I'm the first person you told last time." Maureen pouted looking over at her.

"Sorry Maureen. We... we kind of wanted to wait to tell everyone. And with the wedding and the other stuff this weekend, we didn't want to add to it." she looked over at her.

"Come here, this is gonna be so exciting. My baby is only gonna be a few months older than your baby." she looked over at her.

"A little less than 4 months." she smiled at her.

"Oh my God. This is gonna be great. We're gonna have 2 babies in the loft." she rushed over to hug Jami.

"Yeah, yours and Roger's spawn loose on the world. I think we're in trouble." she laughed hugging her.

"Just think, we'll be their mothers. When they fight for world domination, we'll be safe." she laughed as Heather let out a loud chuckle.

"Oh my God Maureen. You did not just talk about your kid like that." she laughed.

"What? I can be funny too, you know?" she laughed as the rest of the women laughed and congratulated Jami on her pregnancy.

As the women celebrated Jami's news, Roger stood proudly in Chris' apartment to share the news of his impending fatherhood with his brothers. All of them. "She's what? Are you... are you serious? Do you think she can handle that?" Doug asked looking over at his older brother, surprising everyone.

"The doctor did an ultra sound and she said the baby isn't in the fallopian tubes. She's fine. It's not like before." he looked over at him.

"That's good to hear, but that's not what I'm talking about Roger. What about her HIV? Is it gonna hurt her to have the baby?" he asked concerned.

"No man, the doctor put her on new meds for her and the baby. They're gonna be fine. I wouldn't want this if it was gonna hurt James or the baby, you know me better than that." he walked over to his brother.

"He's right Dougie. Roger and Jami breathe for each other. If there was even a little chance that Jami would be hurt by this, he wouldn't be going along with this. He'll take care of her." Stephan cut in.

"I... I know. You're... you're right. I'm sorry Roger. I just..." Doug started.

"Why are you sorry for caring about James? I'm not. You should care about her. She's your sister." Roger smiled at him.

"Yeah well, that's not the only reason I worry about her. She's... she's your life Roger. I... I can't stand the thought of you losing someone else. You can't take it." he looked over at him.

"I'm not gonna lose her Dougie. I'll make sure of it. I would never let anything happen to her." he insisted.

"We know Rog. She's in good hands with you." Aidan smiled at him.

"Thanks man." Roger smiled at his brothers as the boys got ready for the wedding.


	59. Chapter 59

At the church, Jami, Maureen and Heather waited in the foyer for their cue to start down the aisle. Maureen is fussing with Jami's veil when Heather's phone rings. "Your cell phone Heather? Are you serious? We're in a church. For my wedding." Jami asked looking over at her.

"I grabbed it out of habit. Hang on." she reached into the bag that went with her dress. "It's Roger. Hey, what the hell are you doing calling me? You're supposed to be inside waiting for us." she asked holding the phone up to her ear.

"Nice mouth squirt. You're in a church." he laughed.

"Where are you Roger?" she asked concerned.

"I'm out back. I... I wanted to talk to Jami for a minute. Can you put her on?" he asked leaning against the building.

"Are you OK? You sound weird." she asked quietly, walking away from Jami and Maureen.

"I'm fine Heather. I... I just need to talk to Jami for a minute." he looked down at his shiny dress shoes.

"OK, OK. Hang on." she walked over to Jami and handed her the phone. "He wants to talk to you."

"Honey, is everything OK?" she asked picking her dress up and walking away from Maureen and Heather.

"Yeah, I... I love you James. I... I just wanted to tell you that." he told her quietly.

"Roger, we're getting married in less than 5 minutes." she laughed standing by the door.

"I know. I... I just wanted you to know that you mean everything to me and having you in my life is the best thing that's ever happened to me. I... I was afraid that I would forget that part and I wanted to tell you before I did." he smiled.

"Roger, I don't know what I would ever do without you in my life." she whispered so only he heard her.

"I love you so much James. I'll never take you for granted. I... I swear."

"I know Roger. I'll always know, but I appreciate you telling me." she smiled fighting her tears.

"I... I better go in. I have this thing to do, but I can meet up with you later." he smirked shifting from one foot to the other.

"Yeah, I... I kind of have a thing too. Talk to you later." she laughed looking over at Maureen and Heather who were looking at her teasingly.

"I love you James." he told her quietly into the phone.

"I love you too Roger." she smiled hanging up the phone.

"Is he OK? He didn't run off, did he?" Maureen asked as Jami approached them.

"No he didn't run off Maureen. He just wanted to tell me something. It's not a big deal." she handed the phone back to Heather before leaning over for her bouquet. "Are we ready to do this?" she asked looking over at her.

"What did he want to tell you?" Maureen asked frustrated.

"That he loves her and he can't live without her." Heather teased looking over at them.

"Shut up." Jami laughed pushing her towards the door leading into the church. The music started and Aidan opened the door. He smiled at Maureen who was first to walk down the aisle.

"I'll see you out there sis. I love you." Heather whispered squeezing Jami's hand.

"I love you too." she smiled as Heather let go of her hand and began walking down the aisle.

"You look gorgeous James. Really." Aidan smiled fighting tears.

"Thank you Aidan. Are you OK?" she asked looking up at him.

"I'm fine Jami. I just... I never thought I'd see this day come. It's better than I ever imagined it would be." he smiled at her.

"Why's that?" she asked curious.

"Because you're getting everything you always deserved. A love to last a lifetime and more happiness than you ever dreamed of." he smiled at her.

"Yeah, who would have known a man like Roger was out there waiting for me?" she laughed looking up at him.

"Well now he's waiting out there to vow to love you forever in front of God and everyone." he smiled at her.

"Let's do this." she smiled reaching out to link arms with him.

"It's my honor." he smiled leaning down to kiss his sister on the top of the head before bringing her into view of her husband, who was waiting nervously at the head of the aisle with Mark and Chris standing next to him.

"Wow, he... he looks incredible, doesn't he?" she whispered through the tears that had risen to her neatly lined blue eyes.

"He's waiting for the love of his life." he smiled quietly as they made their decent to Roger.

"Hey." Roger whispered smiling through his tears.

"What's the matter Baby?" she laughed crying as well.

"You are the most beautiful sight I have ever seen." he whispered.

"I love you Roger." she cried looking into his green eyes.

"I love you too Jami." he smiled before taking her hand and turning towards the priest who was to marry them.

Following the ceremony, Roger, Jami and their friends and family were to go to a reception hall Mrs. Davis and Mrs. Barnett had booked a short distance from the church. Jami and Roger sat in a small bridal suite during the cocktail hour in one another's arms. "You look amazing Roger. I... I never could have been prepared for the sight of you in a tuxedo." she smiled up at him.

"What about our first official date?" he looked down at her.

"Oh my God, there's no comparison. You looked so sexy in that outfit." she smiled up at him.

"Seeing you in my shirt later that night was the sexiest sight I've ever seen. You sitting at the window, your hair lit by the moonlight. It... it's when I knew I was in love with you." he stuttered looking down at her.

"And now our life is just beginning. I... I feel like you've given me so much already. What more could possibly happen?" she looked up smiling.

"The birth of our beautiful, healthy child." he smiled caressing her hair, which was curled as it flowed down her back, much like their first date.

"A child who am sure is gonna be just like you." she laughed looking up at him.

"Why do you say that?" he laughed.

"Oh, I don't know, maybe because I had morning sickness for the first time on our wedding day with a house full of women who have all either had babies or know whan someone is." she shifted to look up at him.

"He wanted to share in mommy and daddy's big day. You can't blame the kid for that." he laughed at her.

"Yeah, he's got a demented sense of humor for a fetus." she reached up to caress his face.

"He is a Davis." he leaned down to kiss his wife's soft lips.

"He's just lucky I have a soft spot for the Davis clan." she smiled at him.

"Nope. We're the lucky one's." he wrapped his strong arms around her. Holding her tight.

"Are you gonna be like this our whole marriage? Because if you are, I'm gonna have to call in reinforcements. You have a way of wrapping me around your fingers." she laughed looking up at him.

"You've yelled at me before." he looked down at her.

"Yeah, but when you say stuff like that to me, I feel like I'm gonna melt." she smiled up at him.

"Sorry Baby. Not my fault you married a very charming man." he teased holding her closer to him.

"Who's so modest to boot." she laughed looking up at him. He began leaning down to kiss her when there was a knock at the door.

"10 bucks it's Heather." he laughed just inches from her face.

"Now I'm gonna kill her." Jami laughed as the door opened.

"Are you guys gonna hang out in here all night or are you gonna join your wedding reception?" she asked looking over at her.

"We figured we'd hang out in here. It's not like anyone needs us to be out there to eat and get drunk. Just call us when we have to cut the cake." Jami joked looking up at her.

"Very funny. Now get off your lazy asses and get out there. Everyone's looking for you." she leaned against the wall.

"Fine, we're coming. Just have them cue it up." Roger smiled starting to get up from the couch as Heather nodded.

"Cue what up?" she asked looking up at him intrigued.

"You'll see." he smirked as he took her hand helping her up.

"You suck Davis." she laughed looking up at him.

"See? You're getting immune to my charm already." he laughed collecting her into his arms.

"Ha ha." she smiled following him out of the bridal suite. As they exited the room, Heather rushed over to the DJ and whispered something to him. He picked up a CD and placed it in the player before pressing play. As the music started, Jami smiled up at Roger as tears rose to her blue eyes. "What... what is this?" she asked looking up at him.

"It's your song." he smiled down at her.

"No... no it's not. My... my song sounds different. Faster." she looked up at him.

"Not... not anymore. I... I kind of reworked it in the studio. This... this is the final cut." he smiled down at her.

"It's... it's amazing." she was breathless, holding back tears.

"It's for you James. Everything I do is for you." he leaned down to kiss her before leading her to the dance floor for their first dance.

_I don't remember which way to nowhere  
Walking on glass, floating on air  
It hurts to be lonely, it hurts to be near you  
It's already over, I'm starting to wear down  
__  
So, when all isn't what it...what it appears to be  
And there's no one to hold you, no one to set you free  
I will bring you the mountain, carry the weight of it all  
When there's nothing but which way to nowhere,  
I'll be your star_

_You wanted promises, you held the wrong hand  
You were holding the candle...burning at both ends  
Never a moment...he let you think clearly  
You were losing your fire, left out in the wind so long_

_In your eyes...eyes  
I'm alone  
In your eyes...eyes  
Ohhhhhh_

_So, when all isn't what it...what it appears to be  
And there's no one to hold you, no one to set you free  
I will bring you the mountain, carry the weight of it all  
When there's nothing and no one, there's nothing to go on  
and nothing but which way to nowhere,  
I am your star_

"Wow, I... I don't know what to say. It's... it's incredible. I..." she looked up at him with tears in her eyes.

"Hormones?" he asked trying to lighten the mood.

"No, I'm... I'm crying because I'm happy Roger. I... I never thought I'd be this happy in my life." she smiled holding each other as if they were the only people in the room.

"Strap in Baby. You're in for the ride of your life." he smiled kissing her head.

"I'm all in." she smiled through her tears.


	60. Chapter 60

Back home at the loft, it's a week after the wedding. Mark and Maureen had an ultra sound to find out the sex of the baby and requested for Jami to stay home. Maureen knew Jami would be a mess, and she didn't want to have to deal with her in addition to Mark. She was nervous enough without having to take care of the two of them too. Roger was at the studio putting the finishing touches on the demo. So Jami stayed home tinkering on her laptop. As she sat on her bed with her legs folded in front of her, there was a knock on the door. "Come in." she called out setting the laptop next to her on the bed.

"Hey sweetheart. How are you feeling today?" Collins asked from the doorway.

"Pretty good. What's on your mind?" she smiled sitting up straighter.

"Am I that transparent?" he smirked over at her.

"I know you Collins. What's up?" she smiled at him as he approached the bed.

"I... I wanted to talk to you about something." he smiled at her.

"OK?" she looked over at him as he sat on the edge of the bed.

"I... I was thinking about something and I wanted to talk to you about it first before talking to the others."

"What is it Collins? You're really starting to scare me now." she asked concerned.

"I... I was thinking with Mark and Maureen expecting and yours and Rogers little one not too far behind, maybe I... maybe I should move in with Adam." he looked over at her.

"Honey, you don't have to. We... we can make it work with all of us here." she leaned up closer to him.

"How sweetheart? We have 4 bedrooms. You and Roger are in here, Mark and Maureen are in their room, Benny's old room is being turned into a nursery for Mark and Maureen's little bambino. I'm in the other one. It... it should be turned into a nursery for your little one. It's... it's OK. I... I don't mind." he reached over for her hand.

"The baby's can share a room. It's... it's not a big deal. We want them to be brought up as if they're siblings anyway." she smiled at him.

"I... I appreciate you trying to talk me out of it, but I... I just think it's best for everyone. I gotta grow up sooner or later." he looked over at her.

"How... how do you think the other's will react." she stuttered looking over at her.

"I don't know, but it's time for me to move on. With you and Roger married now and both you and Maureen having babies, I... I feel like I need to give you guys your space." he smiled at her.

"You're... you're not going far, are you? I don't want my baby growing up without his Uncle Collins around." she smiled as tears formed in her eyes.

"Are you kidding? I wouldn't miss seeing these babies come into this world for anything." he chuckled leaning over to take her into his arms.

"I hope not. I'm gonna need your help dealing with Maureen, Roger and the babies. I don't see Mark being much help." she laughed holding him.

"Don't worry. I'll be around." he leaned over to kiss her head.

"You better be." she smiled at him. They heard the door open and smiled at each other. "Show time." she giggled jumping up from the bed and bolting out of the bedroom. "Oh, it's you." she stopped short seeing that it was Roger.

"Gee thanks James. We've only been married 4 and a half months. I would have thought it would take longer for you to get sick of me." he laughed propping his guitar next to the door.

"I'm sorry Baby. I... I thought you were Mark and Maureen coming back from the doctor." she smiled leaning up to kiss him.

"Sorry to disappoint you." he laughed wrapping his arms around her waist and holding her close to him.

"You could never disappoint me. I'm just really anxious to find out what they're having." she laughed looking up at him.

"And you didn't want to get caught having Collins come out of your bedroom by your husband." he laughed holding her.

"OK, you caught us rock star. Your wife converted me. I'm straight now." Collins confessed looking over at Roger and Jami.

"Collins, what the..." she stammered being taken by surprise.

"She's good, right?" Roger played along as Jami looked up at him.

"Roger." she called out looking up at him.

"Yeah, I like that thing she does with..." Collins started when Roger interrupted him.

"I taught her that." Roger laughed as Jami covered her face with her hands.

"Niiice." Collins laughed as Jami blushed even more.

"You two aren't funny at all." she pouted as they laughed.

"Sorry sweetheart. It was just too easy." Collins laughed.

"It's about time I get to break out my routine on you for a change. You and Maureen think you're so funny with your lesbian bit. I finally got you back. The master is back." Roger cheered lifting his hand to slap Collins five.

"You're demented. Both of you." she looked up at her husband, who was laughing more than she's ever seen him laughing before.

"I've been saving that one for a while." he laughed.

"I'm glad you think you're funny. Because I'm gonna get you back. I promise you that." she laughed poking him in the chest.

"Oh, I don't doubt that. Just remember, I'm getting on in years. My heart can't take much." he teased rubbing his chest.

"Roger, you're not even thirty. Oh my God, you are such a drama queen sometimes." she laughed walking away from him.

"Hey, you never know what'll do me in." he called out.

"You're in huge trouble mister." she laughed pointing at Collins as she passed him.

"Hey, bring it on sweetheart. I've been in trouble most of my life." he laughed turning to her.

"I have a feeling this won't be the last time." she laughed taking out a bottle of water from the refrigerator and opening it up. She took a sip before setting it on the counter. "What are you doing home anyway? Smelled a chance to torture me?" she laughed.

"We're done." he smiled walking over to her.

"What do you mean you're done? The demo is done? Already?" she asked looking over at him.

"Yep. The demo is done. Editing and everything. Now all they have to do is make copies and distribute it." he smiled leaning on the counter.

"I'm so proud of you." she leaned over to take his face in her hands and kissing his lips.

"I did it for you James." he smiled at her.

"Well, whatever made you do it, I'll take it." she smiled at him.

"Congratulations Roger. That's really great." Collins smiled as the loft door opened.

"That's them." Jami called out rushing out from behind the counter to go to the door. "Well?" she asked standing in front of Maureen.

"A boy." Maureen called out excitedly.

"Oh my God. That's so great." Jami called out hugging her.

"Now we get to go shopping for boy stuff. This is gonna be so great." Maureen smiled at her as Roger, Collins and Mark watched happily.

"Congratulations." Roger smiled looking over at Mark.

"Thanks. At first they couldn't find his... you know. But then he turned around and showed it right off. You should have seen him. He was so funny." Mark laughed holding out the sonogram picture.

"Oh my God, look at him. He's definitely your son Maureen. He loves attention." Jami laughed looking at the picture.

"My son. Wow, I can't believe I'm gonna have a son." she smiled at her.

"Wow, and look at his little wee wee." Roger laughed looking over his wife's shoulder.

"Can we leave my sons little wee wee alone please?" Mark laughed taking the picture away from Jami.

"We're sorry Mark. It's just incredible that you're gonna have a son." Roger laughed looking down at his best friend, wrapping his arms around his wife's shoulders.

"I know, it's wild, isn't it?" Collins smiled at him.

"Unbelievably." Mark smiled at him, putting his arm around Maureen's back.

"We need to start painting the baby's room and you guys have to put his crib together and his changing table..." Maureen started ranting as she entered the loft more and went into the kitchen.

"Maureen calm down. You have 4 more months to deal with all of that. We'll get everything done in time." Jami walked over to calm her.

"It goes by fast Jami. Then we're gonna have your baby, so we need 2 cribs in there and 2 changing tables and..."

"Don't worry Maureen. Everything's gonna be OK." Collins smiled at her as Jami looked up at him sadly.

"I... I know. I'm freaking out, aren't I?" Maureen asked picking up Jami's water bottle and opening it.

"A little bit, but we love you anyway." Jami laughed putting her arm around her.

"Sorry. I... I'm just a little anxious right now." she smiled at Jami before taking a sip of the water.

"Breathe Maureen. Why don't we call Adam and we can go out and celebrate the newest Johnson-Cohen to bless the loft." Jami smiled at her.

"We were thinking Michael. Like Roger's middle name." she smiled at her.

"Maureen, I... I don't know what to say." Roger looked over at her clearly flattered.

"Oh shut up. Like you didn't know that you and Jami were gonna be the baby's godparents." Mark laughed looking over at them.

"The baby's godparents? Really? Mark, I..." Jami stuttered holding back tears.

"Hey, you guys are our best friends. Who else did you think we were gonna pick? Mark's snobby sister Cindy and her husband?" Maureen smiled looking over at Jami.

"We... we'd be honored. Seriously. Thank you Maureen." Jami smiled hugging her while looking over at Mark.

"I guess we can't pick Collins and Adam as our baby's god parents now, huh?" Roger joked as everyone broke down laughing.

"The comedy stylings of Roger Michael Davis." Jami laughed letting go of Maureen.

"Thank you folks, I'll be here all week." he laughed putting his arm around Mark's shoulders.

"Well, now that someone broke the tension, I... I have an announcement of my own to make.' Collins smiled at them.

"Dude, you better not be pregnant too. We're running out of rooms here." Roger smiled at him.

"Not exactly. Um, I'm moving in with Adam." he told them as everyone's smiles faded.

"How... how could you be moving in with Adam? Things are just getting interesting." Roger asked.

"It's time I moved on. You guys have your babies to prepare for and you're gonna need another room. Mine... mine is closer to Mark and Maureen's. Michael can have that room and yours and Jami's baby can have Benny's old room. It was meant for him." he looked over at him.

"But you're not..." Mark asked looking over at him.

"No. I'm not leaving, leaving. I'm sticking around. You and Jami are gonna need my help with the kids. All 4 of them." he chuckled looking over at Jami, who stood by quietly as Collins made his announcement.

"How are we gonna get by around here without you?" Maureen asked looking over at him.

"You don't have to worry about doing anything without me. I'll be here just as much as I am now, I just... I won't be sleeping here, that's all. Listen, you and Mark got a second chance and Roger got his second chance with Jami. It's my turn now. It's what Angel would want." he smiled at her.

"You deserve a second chance too Collins. We're happy for you." Jami cut in going over to hug him.

"Thanks sweetheart." he smiled down at her.

"OK, so now we have 2 things to celebrate. Michael and my baby getting his room back." Jami joked looking over at everyone who was feeling better about Collins moving out.

"Why don't you call Adam and we'll get ready to go?" Roger suggested looking over at Collins.

"Good idea. We'll meet back out here in 10." Maureen smiled as she and Mark went to their room and Roger and Jami went to theirs.

"You knew, didn't you?" he asked shutting the door.

"He... he kind of told me about it while you guys were out. I'm... I'm sorry, I just..." she started when he leaned down to kiss her lips.

"It's OK. You're right. He deserves a second chance too." he smiled down at her.

"He was afraid that you guys wouldn't react very well." she looked up at him.

"We're not the only one's who deserve to have lives. Adam's a good guy. He makes Collins happy. That's all we ever wanted for him. He's my best friend too. I just want him around for my kid, you know?" he smiled down at her.

"I'm glad you feel that way." she leaned up to kiss him before getting changed.

"Baby, I was... I was thinking, maybe we can name the baby Mark Colin if it's a boy." he suggested looking over at her.

"I was kind of thinking of naming him Roger James for a boy." she smirked over at him.

"Roger James? Rea... really?" he looked over at her.

"Yeah. Why shouldn't he be named after his parents? I mean, we're not gonna be around forever and I... I think he should be named after us."

"Baby, we're not going anywhere." he went over to her.

"I know we're not going anywhere yet. I'm just... I'm just saying. I want our child to have a piece of us when we're not here anymore." she looked up at him.

"Our child will have a piece of us James. He'll always know how much his parents love him. Even when we're gone, he'll have our love." he cupped her face in his strong hands.

"I just... I just want our child to have our names Roger. Is that so bad?" she asked as tears rimmed her eyes.

"No. It's not James. It's perfect actually." he smiled holding her to his strong chest.

"Thank you Roger. It... it means a lot to me." she looked up at him.

"I have one question though." he smiled down at her.

"What's that?" she asked curiously.

"What if we have a girl?" he laughed looking down at her.

"Oh man. I guess we're screwed then because there is no way I'm naming my daughter Roger." she laughed as he kissed her head.

"I don't blame you Baby. We'll think of something. I promise." he held her to him, caressing her long blond hair.


	61. Chapter 61

3 months later. It's July and the loft has been a buzz of activity, since the sex of Mark and Maureen's baby was revealed. The boys helped Collins move into Adam's apartment, then went to work on fixing up his and Benny's old rooms as nurseries. Michael Johnson Cohen's bedroom was to be painted blue and white. His parents argued over the theme of the bedroom, but settled on classic trains and cars.

Although Jami's belly is expanding rapidly, she has not experienced any morning sickness, following the incident the morning of her wedding. While his wife's belly grows, Roger loves every inch of it. He sings to her belly every chance he gets. His demo has been distributed by a small independent record label and sold out within a weeks time. Jami has handed in her final script for Roger's screenplay and the film company praised her story telling. They paid her well for it, but agreed to hold off on filming it until her baby is born. They appreciate the fact that it is very important to her and she wants to be directly involved in the filming process.

Roger and Jami are on their way to the doctor for Jami's monthly check up. He is holding her tight as they walk the streets of the Alphabet City to the clinic. They're laughing and teasing each other about their impending parenthood. "You know you're gonna be wrapped around this kids finger." Jami teased looking up at her husband. She was dressed in a calf length sun dress and thong sandals.

"I will not. I have a feeling if you're right about him being a boy, you're gonna be the one who's wrapped around his finger." he laughed wearing a white tank top and light blue jeans.

"Whatever we have, I have a feeling we're both gonna be wrapped around this little one's finger." she laughed stopping in the middle of the sidewalk, wrapping her arms around his muscular abdomen.

"Yeah, I have a feeling you're right." he laughed leaning down to kiss her soft lips.

"Come on. We gotta get going. I'm liable to pee my pants if we don't get this over with." she smiled before walking towards the clinic. When they arrived, Roger checked in while Jami took a seat by the air conditioner. Her hair was up in a pony tail, but being nearly 5 months pregnant in the middle of summer, was uncomfortable at best.

"Checked in Baby." he sat next to her before picking up a Parents Magazine that was on the table in front of him.

"Thank you Honey. I just needed to get off my feet." she sat back enjoying the air cooling her down.

"It says here that at 18 weeks, they might be able to tell if the baby is a girl or boy." he smiled looking up from the magazine.

"Would you stop reading that? Oh my god, you're driving me crazy with that stuff." she looked up at him as she caressed her belly.

"I'm just saying, maybe we can see if the doctor can see if it's a boy or girl, that's all. I don't know why you're biting my head off." he groaned looking down at her.

"Let's see Roger. I'm almost 5 months pregnant, just drank like a gallon and a half of water and I'm sweating like a pig." she looked up at him annoyed.

"I'm sorry Baby. I just... I just thought it would be cool if we could see." he put the magazine down and put his arm around her.

"No, I'm... I'm sorry. I'm just really irritable these days. It's not easy being pregnant in the middle of the summer like this." she looked up at him.

"I know baby. I... I'm sorry." he leaned over to kiss her head.

"And stop apologizing. You're making me feel like a bitch." she looked up at him as she leaned on his shoulder.

"Deal." he smiled as the nurse came out and called her name.

"Show time." she smiled getting up from the chair, with a little help from her handsome husband, and they entered the examining area.

"Are you ready for your ultra sound Mrs. Davis?" the nurse asked leading her into the examining room.

"Yes. I can't wait. I really have to go to the bathroom." she laughed looking over at her.

"I bet. The doctor will be with you shortly." she smiled before leaving the room. Roger did as he always did. He wandered around the room touching things.

"God, you're worse than a child. Would you just sit down?" she laughed sitting on the examining table.

"Sorry. I... I always get nervous in these rooms. They're so... clinical." he complained leaning against the counter.

"Roger, it's a clinic." she laughed at him.

"I know. It just makes me very uncomfortable. That's all." he explained before sitting down on the chair in the corner of the room.

"Come on, we can think of more girls names." she suggested looking over at her.

"I thought we agreed on James Roger." he extended his legs and crossed his ankles.

"No, you agreed on James Roger. I'm still on the fence about, number one, having my daughter named after me and, number two, having Roger as her middle name." she looked over at him.

"Yet, you want our son to be named after me." he laughed looking over at her.

"Yeah well, boys are named after their fathers all the time. Case in point, Stephan and my father." she pointed out looking over at him.

"OK, how about Jami Roger?" he smiled at her.

"And my daughter will still have Roger as her middle name. I don't know about that."

"You're the one who came up with the idea to have our child named after us. I'm just going along with it because it means a lot to you." he told her as the door to the examining room opened.

"We'll talk about it later." she looked over at him.

"Did I interrupt something?" the doctor asked looking over at them.

"No Dr. Matthews. We're fine." she smiled at the doctor.

"Are you ready for your ultra sound?" she asked smiling at Jami.

"You have no idea. I really have to go to the bathroom." Jami laughed lying back on the table. The doctor pulled Jami's dress up to above her belly as she covered her panties with a sheet. The doctor placed the transducer to Jami's belly and began moving it around.

"There's the baby." Roger smiled at the screen before looking at Jami.

"Looks like a good size. Let's see if he's shy." Dr. Matthews smiled looking over at the screen.

"Can you... can you see anything?" Roger asked looking up at the baby on the screen.

"Looks like... yep, there. Can you see it?" the doctor smiled pointing at the screen.

"Is that a little wee wee?" Jami asked curiously squinting her eyes to see the image.

"Looks like. Congratulations you two. A boy." Dr. Matthews smiled at them.

"Roger James Davis." Jami smiled breathlessly as tears rose to her eyes.

"Roger James. My son, Roger James." Roger repeated flabbergasted.

"Are you OK Honey?" Jami asked looking over at him.

"Yeah, I'm... I'm fine. I'm just... I'm gonna have a son." he smiled at her.

"Me and Maureen are severely outnumbered." Jami laughed caressing his face as tears rolled down the sides of her face.

"I'd say you girls are pretty well covered." Dr. Matthews teased looking over at Jami.

"You have no idea." Jami laughed looking over at the screen to stare at her son on the screen.

"With these two, me, Mark, Collins and Adam need all the help we can get." Roger laughed playing with Jami's hair.

"Oh shut up Davis." she laughed as he leaned in to kiss her.

"I love you mama Davis." he whispered looking deep into her eyes.

"I'm gonna print out a picture of your son for you guys to take home." Dr. Matthews smiled at them.

"Thank you doctor." Jami smiled at her as she reached up to wipe her tears of joy away.

"No problem Jami. It's my pleasure." the doctor smiled as they lay staring at their son on the screen.

Roger and Jami left the clinic ecstatic. They were having a son, just like Mark and Maureen. They knew their boys would be more like brothers than cousins. It made sense since Mark and Maureen would be raising him when their time on this earth was done. As they approached the building, Jami stopped short of the door. "James, what's up?" Roger asked looking down at her.

"Um... I... I was just thinking about when we're... not here anymore." she looked up at him, fighting tears.

"Jami, you..."

"It's OK Roger. Um... I was... I was thinking that we should see a lawyer about legally giving permanent guardianship of Roger to Mark and Maureen." she looked up at him as tears pooled in her blue eyes.

"We have plenty of time to think about that James." he stepped down off the stoop to stand in front of her.

"I... I know. I just... I just don't want to wait until it's too late. If we don't see a lawyer and make our wishes known... who knows where he'll end up. I... I don't want Roger and Michael to be separated. I.. I don't..." she broke down at Roget collected her into his arms.

"They won't be James. I promise." he whispered holding her in his strong, loving arms.

"How can you promise that Roger? Our moms are gonna want to get custody of him and then him and Michael may never see each other again. I... I don't want that. Him and Michael are brothers." she cried looking up at him.

"I'll... I'll make sure they stay that way Baby. I... I promise you that." he insisted looking down into her tear flooded blue eyes.

"Thank... thank you Roger. I... I want Mark and Maureen to raise Roger. No... no one else." she insisted.

"Don't worry Baby. I'll make sure of it." he held her in his arms. His heart was breaking. The thought of leaving his wife and son was too painful to think about, so he tried not to think about it. He leaned down to kiss her head fighting his own tears.

Upstairs, Mark and Maureen sat at the window listening to Roger and Jami. It was hard not to hear their conversation with the acoustics on the block, their voices bounce off of the buildings across the street. "Did you hear that? They're... they're having a boy too. Michael's gonna have a brother." Maureen, turned around with tears streamed down her face.

"Yeah Maureen, I... I heard them." he leaned in to kiss her head before playing with her brown curly locks.

"We... we better pull ourselves together. They're... they're gonna be up here soon. They... they don't need to see us like this." she wiped her face, careful not to mess up her eyeliner.

"Maureen, it's OK to cry, you know?" Mark looked over at her.

"There'll be plenty of time for that later. Now, we celebrate our sons." she smiled through her tears.

"OK Baby. That's what we'll do then." he reached over to sweep the stray curl that had fallen into her face.

"Baby, huh?" she laughed looking over at him.

"Hey, it works for Roger." he smiled at her.

"It works for you too." she leaned over to kiss his lips before caressing his face and feeling slight stubble. "But this doesn't." she laughed.

"Can't blame a guy for trying." he smiled at her as the door to the loft opened.

"Hey, how did it go?" Maureen smiled looking over at them.

"Like you didn't already hear everything." Jami smiled at her.

"Sorry, we... we were just sitting here. We... we couldn't help but overhear."

"It's OK Maureen. I guess you also heard that Michael is gonna have a brother." Roger smiled at her.

"Yeah, we... we heard that part. Congratulations." Mark smiled getting up from the window seat.

"Roger James Davis." Jami confirmed caressing her pregnant belly.

"This place is gonna be overdosing on testosterone." Maureen laughed going over to Jami.

"I don't know. Having 2 more boys around here could have it's advantages." Jami smiled up at Roger as she hugged Maureen.


	62. Chapter 62

Maureen's due date is quickly approaching and she's getting anxious. The summer is proving to be very uncomfortable for both her and Jami in their condition. Roger and Mark purchased 2 air conditioners for their bedrooms, so their significant others could be comfortable. They finished Michaels bedroom and were working on Rogers room. Jami frequently went into her sons room and rearranged things, driving Roger crazy. Maureen's impatient nature began taking over. She was heard giving her son an ultimatum. Be born soon or be grounded until he was 30. Jami found it very amusing.

Collins kept his promise of continuing to be a constant presence at the loft, despite the fact that he was living with Adam. He and Adam assisted in setting up the nurseries. They proved to be just as bad as the fathers to be. Hovering over the expectant mothers, despite repeated warnings by Roger and Mark to stay out of the line of hormone fueled fire. "Collins, so help me God, if you don't stop standing over me, I'm gonna fling this thing at your head." Jami yelled typing on her laptop.

"Sorry sweetheart, I just wanted to see if I could get you anything." he apologized. A frequent occurrence around the loft these days.

"If I needed something, don't you think I would ask?" she asked looking up at him.

"Yeah, but..." he stuttered as Roger cut in.

"Just say your sorry and walk away Collins. While your head is still attached." he yelled from his sons room.

"Sorry sweetheart." he repeated before walking away. "Tough crowd." he groaned looking down at Roger, who was sitting in the corner.

"You think? Why do you think I'm hiding out in here? She's biting my head off every 10 seconds." he looked up at him drinking a beer.

"Chicken shit." Collins laughed entering the room more.

"Yep. She can kick my ass." he laughed handing him a beer from the cooler next to him.

"I can't believe you're hiding your stash in your sons room." he laughed sitting next to him.

"Better than the stash I had in here, back in the day, huh?" he smiled at him.

"Yeah. You've come a long way Rog. You're gonna be a papa." Collins smiled at him.

"Yep. I'm gonna be a papa. Never thought I'd be happy about that." he chuckled remembering how he was in his younger years.

"You're a grown up now man." Collins laughed at him.

"Perish the thought. James likes me being immature." he smiled at him.

"Yeah well, you're more grown up then you were back in the day." he lifted his beer can up and toasted him.

"Guess it was bound to happen one of these days." Roger touched cans with him before taking a sip.

"Back in the day you didn't have a woman like Jami to keep your ass in line." Collins laughed.

"Damn right. That wife of mine doesn't take my rock star shit like those other groupies did. From the minute I saw her with Mark in the Life Cafe, I knew she would change my life." he smiled at her.

"And now you're drinking beer in our sons room, hiding out from his raging bitch of mother." she laughed from the doorway. Her pregnant belly standing prominently in front of her.

"You're not a raging bitch. Your hormones are just raging out of control." he smiled getting up from the corner and approaching his wife.

"I am too being a raging bitch Roger. It's just really hard being pregnant during the summer. And your son dancing on my bladder 24/7 is not helping matters." she looked up at him.

"Listen Roger, you be good for your mama. She's the best there is." he spoke to his son in the womb, placing his strong hand on her belly. Suddenly there was a kick.

"Damn, I hate when you do that. He always kicks the crap out of me when you talk to him." she laughed looking down at her belly.

"That's because he knows his daddy's voice." Roger smiled kissing his wife, before dropping to his knees and placing his ear to his wife's belly. "I love you Roger James. I always will." he spoke quietly, bonding with his son.

"Can... can I bring something up to you guys for minute?" Collins asked looking over at them.

"What's up sweetie?" Jami smiled at him.

"If your child and your husband are both named Roger. How are they gonna know you're talking to?" he asked getting up from the floor.

"Oh man, he poses a very good point. What are we gonna call Roger?" she asked looking down at him.

"Well, we can't call him James. That's what I call you." Roger got up from the floor, dusting off his bare knees.

"How about we call him Davis? I only call you Davis when you're being a wise ass." she laughed looking up at him.

"Which is 99.9 percent of the time sweetheart." Collins pointed out.

"That's OK. I guess I'll just have to all him Roger Michael when he's being a wise ass." she laughed wrapping her arms around Roger's waist.

"Sounds good." Roger smiled kissing his wife's head. "Did you hear that Davis. You have a name. Well, another one any way." he laughed speaking to his son in the womb.

"Ugh, if he doesn't stop dancing on my bladder, so help me god he's gonna be grounded for life." Jami groaned rushing off to the bathroom.

"Sorry Baby." Roger called out as Roger looked over at him.

"Why are you apologizing dude? You're not the one who's dancing on her bladder." Collins pointed out.

"Dude these days, I apologize for her swollen feet. It keeps me alive." he laughed.

"I heard that Roger Michael." Jami called out from the bathroom.

"Sorry Baby." he called out as he and Collins laughed. "This is gonna be a long 3 and a half months." he looked over at him.

"You think?" Collins chuckled as his cell phone rang. He reached into his pocket, taking it out. "It's Mark. Yeah." he answered the phone.

"Maureen's in labor. Get to the hospital." he rambled into the phone.

"Maureen's in labor? No shit. Congratulations brother." Collins smiled excitedly.

"Get Roger and Jami and get to the hospital. Now. She's asking for them." he told him as Jami rushed into the nursery.

"Gimme that, you big doof." Jami yanked the phone out of his hand. "Marky, we're coming. Tell her we're coming." she hung up the phone and looked up at them. "Well, don't just stand there. We have to go." she yelled at them before leaving the room. "God, I hate to see how you guys are gonna be when I'm in labor. Geez." she called out as Roger had yet to move. Or even react for that matter. "Roger, let's go." she called out slipping her sneakers on.

"Wha... oh, OK. I'm... I'm coming." he snapped out of his daze and started moving.

"Oh yeah, he's gonna be a wreck when it's you sweetheart." Collins teased as Roger gave him a dirty look.

"I can't believe we're gonna have a baby in here like, now." he stammered, wandering clumsily around the loft.

"Roger, snap out of it. Maureen and Mark need us. We have to pull it together. For our your nephew." she looked up at him.

"Yeah, you're... you're right." he agreed robotically getting ready. They were soon ready and left the loft. Roger hailed a cab on Avenue B and soon they were on their way to witness the birth of their nephew. Collins called Adam to meet them at the hospital. The butterflies began to fill Roger's stomach. Anxiety and panic seemed to take over.

"Roger, are you OK? You look like you're gonna be sick." Jami looked up at him.

"No, I'm... I'm not OK James. Once Michael's born, then our baby will be born and I'm gonna be a father. I'm gonna be responsible for another human being. I'm gonna have a direct impact on how another human being turns out. I... I don't know, I'm just..." he confessed looking down at his wife's belly.

"Scared? Terrified?" she looked up at him as he nodded nervously. "Guess what Roger Michael Davis." she smirked up at him.

"What?"

"That is a normal reaction. There's nothing wrong with you. And you're gonna make the best father in this world. I have no doubt in my mind of that fact." she grasped his hand and held it tight.

"How James? How can you be so sure of that?" he asked.

"Because you are the most loving person I have ever met. This child is lucky to have you as his father. You're gonna teach this boy what it's like to love and be loved. And you're gonna teach him that expressing his feelings is not a sign of weakness. It's a sign of strength. Just like you were taught by your father. That's how I know." she explained holding back tears.

"Um... OK." he stared down into his wife's sparkling blue eyes.

"OK. Um... I don't... I don't ever want to hear you doubt your abilities as a father again. Are we understood?" she looked up at him.

"Yes... yes Baby. I... I promise. No more doubts." he squeezed her hand to punctuate his affirmation.

"Thank you." she looked away, staring out the windshield on their way to the hospital. Collins smiled as he enjoyed a moment alone with his favorite parents to be.


	63. Chapter 63

In the hospital, Roger, Jami and Collins made their way to the maternity ward. Rushing down the hallway, they spotted Mark standing in the hallway. He looked terrified. When he noticed his friends rushing down the hallway, he went towards them. "How is she?" Jami asked looking over at him.

"Her water broke when we were shopping, so we came right here. The doctor is in with her now. She's... she's asking for you and Roger." he answered looking over at them.

"She's gonna be OK Mark." Jami smiled hugging him.

"She better be. If... if anything happens to them..." he started when she pulled back and punch him in the arm. "Oww. What the hell was that for?" he asked rubbing his arm.

"Marcus Hiam Cohen, don't you dare talk like that. They're gonna be fine."

"OK, OK. Geez, my kid is being born today and now I can't hold him because you had to hit me. You damn brute." he laughed looking over at her.

"Well stop talking crazy." she looked over at him.

"OK fine. I'll stop talking at all. How would that fit you?" he looked down at her.

"She's gonna be OK. She's having a baby. Women do it everyday, without incident. You have to believe that." she insisted as the doctor came out of Maureen's room.

"How is she?" Mark asked rushing over to him.

"Just fine. She's 6 cm dilated and her labor is progressing normally. The baby's heartbeat is strong and he looks very good. We've given her an epidural for the pain, so she should be pretty well set for now. She's asking for a Jami and Roger." he smiled at him.

"Thank you. Thank you so much." Mark reached out to shake the doctors hand.

"See, everything is great." Jami gloated. "Now, if you'll excuse me, Maureen is asking for me." she turned on the balls of her feet, swinging her hair in Mark's face before going into the hospital room.

"I can't wait for her to drop that kid. She's been such a know it all lately." Mark crossed his arms across his chest.

"Face it Mark. We're just mere mortals in a woman's world." Roger laughed patting Mark's chest before following his wife into Maureen's room.

"OK, word of advice, order the epidural. It totally rocks." Maureen explained looking over at Jami.

"I'll be sure to keep that in mind." she laughed sitting in the chair.

"Yeah, it totally rocks." she boasted folding her hands on top of her belly. "So, what's up?" she asked nonchalantly.

"Um... nothing. Just thought we'd come and see how you're doing." she laugehd amused by Maureen's casual attitude.

"I'm great. My water broke in the middle of the grocery store. You should have seen that pimple faced geek. He was so pissed." she laughed.

"I bet. So, how are you doing?" she smiled at her.

"Great. The epidural is really doing wonders. I swear, it's amazing. I can't feel a thing. But enough about me. What did I miss?" she smiled at her.

"Nothing much. We... we thought of a name to call the baby. You know, to cut down on the confusion since we're gonna have 2 Roger's in the house." she smiled at her friend.

"Oh my gosh. OK, you can't call him James because Roger calls you that like all the time. So what's left?" she asked looking down at her.

"Davis." she smiled as Roger took her hand.

"That's genius. Why didn't I think of that?" she wondered, the epidural evidently taking effect.

"Possibly because you've been pregnant." Roger laughed looking over at her.

"True, but I'm in labor now and I'm thinking so clearly now. James, you have to try this stuff out. It's awesome." she smiled at him.

"Oh yeah, real clearly." Jami laughed.

"I'm gonna go get Mark. He's freaking out out there." Roger got up from the chair.

"OK Baby." she smiled up at him as he left the room to retrieve Mark. "I... I kind of beat him up a little bit." Jami smiled over at Maureen.

"He's worried. I understand. But I'm fine. Seriously." Maureen smiled at her.

"I know. You're the strongest chick I know." Jami smiled.

"Me? No way. You're the strongest chick I know. The way you went on your own the way you did and worked two jobs to support yourself, then the way you handled your diagnosis. I... I probably would have fallen apart, but not you. You were strong. You never blamed Roger, you just accepted it and moved on with your life. I... I want my son to be your son just as much as Davis is." she looked over at her.

"He will be Maureen. Just like Davis'll be your son long before anything happens to me and Roger." she leaned up, reaching for her hand.

"Good. Because these boys are gonna be the luckiest little boys on earth." Maureen smiled at her.

"You're damn right." Jami smiled before leaning up to hug her. She felt Maureen's belly tighten. "What's... what that?" she asked looking down.

"Oh, just a contraction. I've been having them on and off since you walked in." she smiled up at her.

"And you haven't felt a thing?" she asked.

"Nope." she smiled up at her.

"Damn, that's some good stuff." she laughed looking down at Maureen's belly.

"I'm telling you. That stuff is a miracle." she smiled at her.

"Apparently." Jami laughed as Mark entered the room.

"Is... everything OK?" he asked looking over at them.

"Everything's fine Marky. Get over here. I'm having contractions and you can feel them." Maureen smiled at him.

"Doesn't... doesn't it hurt?" he asked approaching the bed cautiously.

"Nope. Epidural. It's amazing. Jami, you really gotta try this. It's like nothing you've ever experienced." Maureen smiled looking up at her.

"So you've been saying." Jami laughed looking over at her.

"Roger um... Roger wants me to make sure you're not over doing things." Mark looked over at Jami.

"I'm fine Mark. Really." she smiled at him.

"Why don't you go sit with your husband for a little while? I'm not going anywhere." Maureen smiled at her.

"Right. Epidural. Miracle drug." Jami laughed leaning down to kiss Maureen's head. "I'll be back." she smiled before leaving the room.

"OK sweetie." Maureen smiled at her as her friend left the room.

"How is she? Still raving about the miracle of epidurals?" Roger laughed looking over at his wife as she entered the waiting room.

"Oh yeah. Do you believe she's been having contractions the whole time we were in there and didn't feel a thing?" she looked up at him.

"Seriously?" Roger asked stunned.

"Yep." she laughed.

"In that case, maybe you should get some of that stuff." he wrapped his arms around her.

"Roger, I'm... I'm having a c-section remember. I'm not gonna be able to go through natural child birth. But I appreciate you thinking of my comfort." she smiled at him.

"I'll always think about what's best for you James. You're everything to me." he leaned down to kiss her.

"And your son is now dancing on my bladder again. He can sense when you're close to me." she laughed looking up at him.

"Sorry Baby." he smiled down at her.

"That's OK. Small sacrifice for a good cause." she smiled rushing off to the bathroom.

"Poor girl. She and the tidy bowl man are on a first name basis." Collins laughed looking over at him.

"3 and a half months left." Adam smiled at him.

"It can't go by fast enough for her though." Roger smiled at him.

"But you're terrified." Adam observed.

"Not... not anymore. My wife almost kicked my ass in the cab on the way here." he laughed looking over at him.

"Jami is probably the strongest woman I've ever met. The way she takes things in stride and the fact that everyone looks to her for guidance. You'd think she was already a mama." Adam smiled at Roger.

"She is the most amazing woman on earth. I'm truly a lucky man." he smiled at him.

"Yes you are." Adam smiled at him.

"At least you won't have to wait for her to go into labor. She's having a c-section." Collins smiled at him.

"Yeah, at least I'll know she'll be OK." he leaned on forward onto his knees, folding his hands in front of him.

"You'll always worry about her, won't you?" Adam asked.

"Well, she's my life. If anything happened to her, I don't know how I'd go on." he told him quietly as Jami listened from the doorway. She shut her eyes tight listening to her husbands words before wrapping her arms around her pregnant belly.


	64. Chapter 64

5 hours later, Michael Johnson Cohen was finally born. Maureen is exhausted from labor and delivery and is sleeping peacefully in the recovery room. Mark sits in the nursery holding his son, while Roger, Jami, Collins and Adam stood at the window looking on. "God, I wish I were a photographer." Jami smiled leaning on Roger, who had his arm around her.

"They are a sight, aren't they?" Adam smiled at her.

"I can't wait until it's me in there." Roger smiled down at Jami.

"Not scared anymore, huh?" she smirked up at him.

"Oh, I'm still scared. But I can't wait to meet him." he held her closer to him.

"Me neither." she smiled caressing her belly. Mark looked up and noticed that he had an audience, so he got up and carried Michael over to the large window and held him up. "Hi Michael." she tapped on the window with tears in her eyes.

"Damn. Mark's a dad. That's wild." Collins looked down at Mark and the baby.

"I guess we've all grown up, huh?" Roger smiled at him.

"Yeah, too fast." Collins smiled at him. As they spoke, Mark put the sleeping baby in his bassinet and left the nursery.

"So, what do you think of my boy?" he smiled at them.

"He's gorgeous Mark. Congratulations." Jami smiled hugging him tight.

"Thanks." he smiled looking up at Roger as he hugged Jami.

"Maureen's sleeping soundly. She had a long day." Roger whispered smiling down at her.

"She did good, didn't she? She... she's one of the strongest women I know." he smiled up at Roger.

"She did amazing Mark." Roger smiled at him.

"I should go check on Maureen. You guys should go home and get some rest. Especially you. You need to take your meds." he looked over at Jami.

"I already took them Mark. I'm not going anywhere. I wanna see Maureen." she protested looking over at him.

"You need your rest James. You're pregnant. You need to take care of Roger James." he argued looking down at her.

"Mark, I'm a big girl. I can take care of myself. I've been resting in the waiting room all day so I could stay and see my best friend after she had her baby. I'm not leaving until I do that." she put her hands on her hips to look at him.

"You need to take care of yourself and your son James. Roger, back me up here." he looked up at Roger.

"Oh no, don't drag me into this. I know when to back down and let mama take the lead." he folded his arms across his chest and leaned against the wall.

"Mark, you have to stop worrying about me. You have Maureen and Michael to worry about now. I can take care of myself. When are you gonna get that?" she asked looking up at him.

"When are you gonna get that you're HIV positive and your pregnant. I've watched you act like HIV doesn't exist, but you have to realize that you not only have to worry about yourself. You have your son to think about too now." he tried to keep his voice down as she looked into his crystal blue eyes.

"Mark, she's fine. She's been taking care of herself and Davis." Collins cut in stepping forward.

"Davis? Who... who's Davis?" he asked looking down at Jami.

"Well if you'd stop yelling at me, I could tell you that we decided to call the baby Davis. To... cut down on the confusion since there are gonna be 2 Roger's in the house." she looked up at him.

"Oh, I... I guess that makes sense." he looked up at Roger who was smirking as his wife fed their best friend his ass.

"Now, if you're done yelling at me dad, I'm gonna go in and see my best friend. She's bound to be up seeings that the father of her son has been out here yelling at a defenseless pregnant woman." she smirked before walking away from him towards Maureen's room.

"Damn, she handed you your scrawny ass, didn't she?" Roger laughed looking over at him.

"You can say that. When did she grow a set of balls?" Mark asked looking over at Roger.

"She's gonna be a mama soon Mark. She ain't takin any of our shit anymore." Roger pushed himself off of the wall looking down at him.

"Apparently. Where's that shy girl we once knew?" he smiled up at him.

"Hormones stole her. She's even immune to my charm these days." he laughed putting his arm around Mark's shoulder.

"This is gonna more fun than we anticipated." Adam laughed at them.

"Come on dad. Let's go see our ladies." Roger laughed dragging him to Maureen's room. When they got to the door, it was open and Jami was sitting on the bed talking to Maureen. They were laughing and talking about Michael and Davis.

"How could she go from handing me my ass on a platter to laughing with Maureen like nothing happened?" Mark asked astounded.

"Like I told you, hormones. Just think, now Maureen is gonna get her head bit off too." Roger laughed quietly looking down at him as they entered the room.

After an hour, the nurses threw Roger, Jami, Collins and Adam out. Roger and Jami went home to the loft and Collins and Adam returned to their apartment. Jami went to the couch to turn her laptop off and unplug it. "Should we leave a light on for Mark?" she looked up at him.

"Yeah, we'll leave the light in the kitchen on for him." he walked over wrapping his arms around her shoulders from behind. "Are you OK?" he whispered in her ear.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I'm... excited that Michael's finally here." she turned around, bumping him with her belly.

"And more anxious for Davis to be born now." he smiled reaching down to caress her belly.

"Sort of. But I'm scared." she looked up at him with tears in her eyes.

"You? Scared? No way. You're the one who yelled at me for being scared." he lifted his hand up to touch her face.

"I'm not scared of him being here. I'm scared of the c-section. I... I don't want to be cut open. I wanna have what Maureen had." she told him as a single tear fell from her eye.

"I know Baby. I'm scared too. But you're gonna be OK. I believe that and so should you." he insisted looking down at her.

"I'm... I'm sorry. I... I guess I'm more tired than I thought. Um... maybe we should go to bed. It's been a long day and I'm exhausted." she looked up at him.

"OK James. I think that's a good idea. It's been a tough day and you need your rest." he looked down at her.

"Can you get my laptop? I... I have to go to the bathroom again." she smirked up at him.

"Sorry Baby." he looked down at her.

"Stop apologizing Roger." she smiled going towards the bathroom.

"Sorry Baby. I'm just used to it." he looked over at her as she shut the bathroom door behind her.

The next morning, Roger woke up early. Jami was still sleeping peacefully next to him, so he left her. She was up a few times throughout the night to go to the bathroom and he wanted her to get all the rest she could before the baby came. He went into the kitchen and started Jami's breakfast. He put coffee on for himself and reached into the cabinet where the meds were kept. He popped his before putting bread into the toaster. He turned around to get the orange juice out of the refrigerator when he heard a noise coming from his nephew's room. He came out from behind the counter to investigate. When he got to the doorway, he saw Mark moving the rocking chair over to the window. "Mark, what the hell are you doing?" he smiled at his best friend.

"Maureen mentioned something the other day about the rocking chair looking better over by the window, so I thought I'd surprise her and do it." he looked up at him.

"You are totally freaked out, aren't you?" he asked folding his arms across his chest.

"I'm a dad. I... I never thought I'd be one and now I am and I... I don't know. I just want to do everything right with him, you know?" he stuttered clearly exhausted.

"Mark, listen to me. Because I'm only gonna say this once." he looked over at him before entering the room.

"You're not gonna yell at me, are you?" he asked.

"No I'm not gonna yell at you. Jami and Maureen do enough of that for everyone." he laughed looking over at him.

"OK. Shoot." Mark sat down in the rocking chair ready to listen to his best friends advice.

"Just love him. That's all you gotta do. Love him for who he is and what he's gonna become." he smiled down at him.

"That's it? That's your great advice? Geez Rog, you really suck at this." he smirked up at him.

"Fuck you. I thought long and hard on that one." he laughed looking over at him.

"I'm sorry. Great advice Rog. Really." he got up from the chair.

"I expect you to raise my kid the same way, so get it right." he insisted, looking down at him.

"I will. I'm gonna love Davis just as much as I love Michael." he looked up at him.

"I know you will. Um... I... I know this is a shitty time to bring this up, but I'm gonna need you to take care of James too. She's... she's gonna be really bad and I..." he started when Mark interrupted him.

"You don't even need to ask me to do that. I'll... I'll do it anyway. She's my best friend Roger. Sometimes I even like her more than I like you." he laughed lightening the mood.

"I'm serious Mark. I'm not gonna be around to do it and I need to make sure she's taken care of." he insisted.

"Roger, stop talking like that. You're not going anywhere. My luck you'll out live us all." he looked up at him.

"As much as we all want it, it's not in the cards for me and I need to know my wife and kid are gonna be taken care of." he looked down at him.

"Don't worry man. I... I got your back. When have I ever let you down?" he looked up at him.

"Never man. You've... you've always been there for me. You've saved my ass more times than I can count. Even when I didn't deserve it."

"You always deserved it Rog. You're a good guy. I... I always knew that." Mark looked up at him before the men hugged.

"I owe you everything Mark. Especially James." he smiled at him.

"Don't mention it. I just wanted my two best friends happy. If you made each other happy, I was all for it." he smiled at him.

"Not to sound like an ass, but she should have been yours, you know? She was perfect for you." he smirked over at him.

"Nah, we were always just friends. She was always yours. I knew it way before you guys met." he smiled at his best friend.


	65. Chapter 65

It's 3 months later and no one in the loft have gotten much sleep. Michael had colic and was lactose intolerent so he needed soy formula and gas drops to relieve his gas. Maureen bought Roger and Jami ear plugs so they could get sleep. Jami never used hers though. In the middle of the night, she would hear Michael crying and go in to soothe him. She seemed to be the only one who could get him to stop crying for any length of time.

Roger's been going on radio interviews to promote the bands CD. He would often brag about his pregnant wife and their crazy roommates. Including the newest, loudest one. Jami's getting more impatient, awaiting the birth of hers and Roger's son. Her c-section was scheduled for the following week and it couldn't come soon enough for her. She was sick of being pregnant and made no secret of it to anyone who would listen.

It's 3 am and Michael is up once again. It's the 4th time since 10 o'clock. Jami gets up and shuffles into his room before his parents could wake up. "Mikey, what's the matter with Aunt Jami's boy?" she asked leaning into the crib and taking her nephew into her arms. She bounces him on her pregnant belly, caressing the infants back. "I know my sweetheart. Tell Aunt Jami what's the matter and I'll take care of it." she leaned in to kiss the baby's head as she brought the temporarily silenced boy into the kitchen to heat up a bottle.

"James, what are you doing up?" Roger asked coming out of their bedroom in nothing but a pair of cut off sweats.

"I heard the baby, so I thought I'd come and see what I could do for my boy." she smiled holding the baby's back as he seemed to drift off on her shoulder.

"That kid is getting more action than me these days." he joked looking over at her.

"Get used to it Baby. When Davis comes, you're gonna get even less." she whispered looking up at him.

"Very funny James." he smiled leaning down to kiss her head.

"It's true Roger. Nothing will ever be the same again, once Davis is born." she looked up at him.

"I can live with that. As long as my wife and son are healthy, I'll share you with anyone I have to." he reached out to take the sleeping baby from her. "I should put him down."

"Do we have to? I... I kind of wanted to hang out with him a little more." she looked up at him.

"We'll have plenty of time to hang out with him and Davis, James. I promise. These boys are gonna know who their family is and they're gonna know they're loved." he smiled at her.

"I know. I just... I'm afraid of leaving them too soon, you know? I'm afraid that they're not gonna be able to get to know us in person. I don't want them to only know us from films and stories told to them by Mark and Maureen." she looked up at him with tears in her eyes.

"They won't James. I promise." he leaned down to kiss her before returning his nephew to his room. He turned on the soothing music before returning to his wife who was now sitting at the window looking out at the summer sky. "I wish you would stop talking like that." he walked over to her.

"I'm sorry Roger. I just... I can't stop thinking about things like that these days." she apologized, sitting on the window seat.

"Baby, listen to me. We're not leaving these boys any time soon. You gotta stop worrying about this." he looked down at her.

"How Roger? How am I gonna stop worrying about this? It's a reality and you telling me to stop worrying is not gonna make me stop." she looked up at him.

"Fine James, you worry about it 24/7 and waste all the time you have with them for all I care. But I'm gonna make the most of my time with you and the boys." he argued before turning around and storming back into the bedroom. She caressed her belly and looked out the window at the New York Skyline.

After a few minutes, Maureen came out of hers and Mark's bedroom. "Jami, what are you doing up? Michael didn't wake you up again, did he? I'm so sorry." she asked seeing Jami sitting at the window.

"No, I... I was up already. It's not a big deal." she answered still staring out the window.

"What's the matter Jami?" she rushed over to her, hearing that she was crying.

"Nothing. Roger and I got into a fight. Nothing new these days, right?" she looked over at her, wiping her eyes.

"Well if you would stop talking about not being able to be around for the boys, maybe he wouldn't fight with you all the time." Maureen snapped at her.

"Great. Take his side. Thanks Maureen. Really." she got up from the window and went into the kitchen for a glass of water.

"I'm not taking his side James. I'm taking my side. I hate when you talk about when you're gonna be gone. I want my son to know his aunt. And frankly, as much as I love you and Davis, I'm in no rush to raise your son for you." she walked after her.

"I just can't help but think about those things Maureen. I'm... I'm gonna be a mother and I have to be realistic." she looked down as tears rose to her eyes again.

"Listen Jami, you're my best friend. I don't want to think about losing you yet. My son needs to know his aunt and Davis needs to know his mother and father." she leaned over to touch her arm.

"I'm sorry Maureen. Really. I hate being pregnant. Things are just snowballing in my head and I can't form a rational thought these days." she looked down at the counter.

"It'll pass, then everything is gonna be fine. You'll see." Maureen smiled at her.

"I... I should go inside. I need to talk to Roger." she looked at her.

"Go. Make up with your husband. I'm gonna check on the little one." Maureen smiled as she watched Jami walk towards hers and Roger's bedroom.

"Roger, are you up?" she asked quietly seeing him laying on the bed.

"No." he mumbled from the bed.

"I'm sorry for before. With... with these hormones, I can't... I can't think straight. I can't help but think about these things." she looked down at him.

"Yeah well, I hate when you talk like we're dying." he turned around and looked up at her.

"I... I know. I'm... I'm just really scared Roger. I... I don't know how I'm gonna be strong enough to raise Davis knowing that I'm gonna miss out on so much of his life." tears rose to her eyes as she spoke.

"I know it's gonna be hard, but just do it. You raise him,and you make sure he knows that he's loved no matter what." he explained, getting out of the bed and going to her.

"Is that what you did when we first met?" she looked up at him.

"Yeah. For a while I wasn't sure if wanting you was the right thing. But I... I couldn't help myself. I... I had feelings for you and then I... I decided that I'd be the best man I could be for you James. To give myself to you completely. You... made me want to do that." he lifted his hand up to caress her face.

"I'm... I'm sorry Roger. I... I guess I didn't realize how hard it was for you in the beginning with us." she cried looking up at him.

"Don't you dare be sorry James. I... I just... I felt like I wasn't being fair to you. I knew I was gonna die eventually and I wasn't being fair to you." he wiped the tears from her face.

"Roger, you did nothing wrong. You gave me a love I never knew existed. You showed me that there is a such thing as everlasting love." she sniffled, attempting to hold back her tears. "I wanted to be the best you had with the time you had left."

"You are James. You are." he whispered wrapping his arms around her and holding his pregnant wife to him tightly.


	66. Chapter 66

9:45 am. November 1, 2000. Jami and Roger arrive at the hospital. Jami's appointment was 10 o'clock and they didn't want to be late. Maureen's mother had come in to town to watch Michael, so she and Mark could be at the hospital with Roger and Jami. Mrs. Davis, Mrs. Barnett and the rest of the extended family also planned on being there as well. To say that they were all excited about Davis' birth would be an understatement. They were ecstatic as well as anxious. "This is it?" Jami looked up at Roger sheepishly.

"Are you OK James?" he asked looking down at her.

"Yeah, I'll... I'll be fine. I'm just scared." she lowered her head, staring at his chest.

"Everything's gonna be fine. I'll be there for the c-section and by noon, we'll be parents to a bouncing baby boy." he reassured lifting her head up to stare into her eyes.

"I... I know. I'm excited, but scared at the same time. I'm getting cut up and I guess I'm not looking forward to the recovery time on that." she looked up at him.

"You're gonna be fine James. I believe that. I'm not gonna let anything happen to you."

"My protector, huh?" she smirked looking up at him.

"Damn right. I'll never let anything happen to you." he whispered leaning down to kiss her. "You better finish getting changed. The doctor will be in soon and you don't want to be late for your own c-section." he smiled.

"Guess not." she smiled getting changed into her hospital gown before lying on the bed. The doctor came in and explained the procedure to them. Jami clutched Roger's hand tightly as she listened intently.

"Roger, you can go change whenever your ready." she smiled as Roger nodded. "Everything is gonna be fine Jami. They'll be in to get you in a few minutes." Dr. Matthews explained before reaching out for her free hand. "Relax. You're gonna meet your son in less than an hour." she smiled squeezing her hand reassuringly.

"Thank you Dr." she smiled uncomfortably before the doctor left the room.

"I'm gonna be with you the whole time James. I promise. I will not leave you for a second." Roger reassured her, lifting her hand to his lips and kissing it gently.

"I... I know. Everything is gonna be fine. I... I believe that." she stuttered looking over at him.

"I better go get changed. I'll see you in the OR." he got up from the chair. "I love you James." he whispered leaning down to kiss her soft lips.

"I love you too Roger." she watched him leave the room. As the door slowly shut behind him, she looked down at her belly. "OK kid, it's just you and me now. I just want you to know that we love you and can't wait to meet you. Your daddy has been promising that everything is gonna be OK and I just want you to know that he loves us and hates to let us down, so I'm gonna need your help making sure he doesn't." she spoke quietly to her son as she caressed her belly.

The orderlies came into Jami's room to wheel her down the hall to the operating room. Mrs. Davis and Mrs. Barnett were waiting in the hallway to wish her luck. As she entered the operating room, Roger was standing there waiting for her. He had on surgical scrubs and a little surgical hat. She cracked a smiled as she caught a glimpse of him. "Don't you dare James." he groaned looking over at her.

"I didn't hear anyone page George Clooney." she joked looking over at him.

"We're about to have a baby and you're making ER jokes. Good timing Baby." he smirked at her.

"Would you rather I make a hairband joke? OK, hey Dr., I need some Bad Medicine." she laughed making a reference to the Bon Jovi song from the New Jersey album.

"Nice to see you two are maintaining your sense of humor." Dr. Matthews smiled drying her hands as she entered the operating room.

"Yeah, my wife, the comedianne." he laughed looking over at her.

"I couldn't help it. He left himself wide open for it." Jami laughed looking up at her.

"I can see that." Dr. Matthews laughed as her surgical gloves were placed over her sterile hands. "Are you ready to get started?" she approached Jami.

"Yep. Let's do it." she smiled at her. She was administered anesthesia that left her numb from the waist down, but wide awake for the birth of her son. There was a curtain covering her abdomen, so she couldn't see anything. Roger stayed at her side the whole time. He held her small hand in his while he caressed her long blond hair with the other.

"You're doing great Baby." he whispered kissing her head.

"Can you go check? I need to know everything is OK." she pleaded looking over at him.

"Are you sure?" he asked looking over at her.

"Positive. I'm fine. I just need to make sure he's OK." she looked over at him. He stood up slowly and peaked over the curtain to see them cut into her womb. The doctor snaked her hand in and scooped the baby into her hands. As he left the womb, the baby squirmed.

"He looks good Baby." he smiled looking over at her with tears in his eyes.

"I don't hear anything. Why is he not crying?" she asked as a single tear rolled down the side of her face.

"Give them a minute. They're getting the gunk out of his airway." he lifted himself up onto his toes to watch the nurses. His son flailed before letting out a hearty cry. "He's fine Baby." he held her hand tightly before leaning down to kiss her lips.

"I hear him. He's got your lungs." she laughed looking up at him.

"Sorry Baby." he laughed as the tears of joy rolled down his face.

"Don't be. We have our boy." she smiled up at him.

"Everything is fine. I'll be closing in a minute Jami. You're doing great." Dr. Matthews reassured her as she continued her work.

"Thank you so much doctor. Roger, go check on the baby please." she requested looking up at her husband.

"I don't want to leave you James." he looked into her blue eyes.

"Please Roger. Davis needs you to be the first face he sees in his life. I'm fine." she smiled lifting her free hand up to wipe her wet face.

"I love you so much James. Thank you." he whispered leaning down to kiss her head.

"I love you too Roger. More than you know." she smiled up at him as he got up and walked over to baby.

"Would you like to hold your son Mr. Davis?" the nurse asked wrapping the baby in a receiving blanket.

"Yes... yes ma'am." he answered sheepishly.

"Here you go." she smiled placing the squirming baby into his fathers waiting arms.

"Thank you." he smiled at the nurse as he looked down at his son. "Hey little man. I'm... I'm your dad. It's a pleasure to finally meet you." he whispered as his son looked up at him.

"How is he?" Jami called out from the operating table.

"Perfect." Roger smiled at her as he slowly turned around and began walking carefully towards his wife. "That beautiful lady over there is your mama. She's a special lady, so we take care of her." he explained as Jami came into view of Roger and his son.

"He's gorgeous Roger." she cried looking over at them.

"He looks like me James." he smiled sitting next to her and lifting his arm up so his wife could see their child.

"Poor kid." she laughed reaching out to caress her sons baby soft face.

"Yeah, he's gonna be a handful when he gets older. Girls lined up around the block." he smiled at her.

"I was talking about his modesty." she teased looking over at him.

"He's got your eyes though. They are the most beautiful shade of blue I've ever seen." he smiled looking down at his son.

"You're in trouble now Roger Michael." she smiled at him.

"I can deal with that." he whispered leaning in to kiss her head as they admired their newborn son.

"I'm almost done closing Jami. Roger, we're gonna take the baby to the nursery now and get him cleaned up. If you want to go with him, the nurse can escort you there." Dr. Matthews looked down at him.

"Can't we stay with James until she's done?" he asked looking up at her.

"Roger, it's fine. You heard her, they're almost done. I'll see you in the recovery room. You need to tell everyone that I'm OK and introduce them to Roger James Davis." she smiled at him.

"Are you sure Baby? I don't want to leave you." he looked over at her.

"I'm fine Baby. Go. Really." she smiled as he leaned in to kiss her. "I love you Roger James Davis." she smiled down at her son.

"You love mama too, don't you Davis?" Roger smiled at his son.

"Of course he does. He's his fathers son." she smiled at him. The nurse took Roger James Davis from the loving arms of his father. Roger looked back at his wife, who was smiling at him before her boys left the operating room. "Is everything really OK Dr.?" she asked looking up at Dr. Matthews.

"Yes Jami. Everything is fine." she smiled at her as she finished closing her incision.

"Thank you so much Dr. Matthews. I appreciate everything you've done for us, to make sure me and Davis are OK." she looked up at her.

"Jami, I was concerned for you after the last time you were pregnant, but I'm happy to say, everything worked out just fine. You and Roger deserve this." she smiled down at her.

"When... when will we know Davis' HIV status?" she asked looking up at her.

"Well that'll depend on your pediatrician, but most likely, he'll get preventative meds for a while and test him frequently, but you should know before his second birthday." she looked down at her as the assisting nurse dressed Jami's incision.

"Oh, um... OK." she looked over to her side.

"Jami, you have been taking meds to prevent him from being infected since the beginning of your first trimester. There is an extremely good chance that he will test negative. It just takes a long time to be sure because of your antibodies in his system. It's not a bad thing, it's just... you need to give it some time." she reassured her.

"OK. Thank you doctor. Thank you so much for everything you've done." she smiled up at her doctor.

"It's not over yet, you know? I'll still be your doctor. And when you and Roger decide that you're ready to have another baby, I'll be happy to help you in any way I can." she smiled at her.

"I... I don't see me doing this again, but thanks." she smiled at the doctor as she was wheeled out of the operating room.


	67. Chapter 67

In Jami's room, Roger sat in the chair next to the bed,, holding his sleeping son in his arms. Jami rested in the recovery room for 3 hours before her family was able to see her. When she got into her room, her mother and mother in law doted over their grandson. Mrs. Davis raved about how much he looked like Roger and Mrs. Barnett enjoyed his easy going nature. At around 3 o'clock, Roger kicked everyone out so his wife and son could get some sleep.

Jami opened her eyes and quietly stared at her family. She folded her hands across her stomach, causing the sheets to rustle. "Hey Baby, you're up." Roger whispered before getting up to put his son in his bassinet.

"How long was I asleep?" she asked looking up at him.

"Not long enough. I was hoping you'd get more sleep. It's been a long day." he smiled walking over to sit on the bed next to her.

"You don't need to worry about me, you know? We have a child now. We need to worry about Davis now." she smiled turning her head to face him.

"I know I don't need to worry about you James, I want to." he smiled leaning over to kiss her lips.

"Yeah well, while you're worrying about me, I'll be worrying about that little boy over there. He's our miracle." she smiled attempting to sit up in the bed. He saw her struggling and leaned in to help her.

"Does it hurt much?" he asked concerned.

"A little bit, but I'm OK." she smiled up at him.

"James, you don't have to be OK, you know? You just had a c-section less than 12 hours ago. It's OK to bitch about it hurting." he smirked over at her.

"Roger, I'm really OK. I promise." she smiled looking over at her sleeping son. "How long has he been asleep?"

"About an hour. I fed him, burped him, changed him and just rocked him in my arms. He fell right out." he smiled at his son.

"I told you so." she smiled at him.

"Told me what Baby?" he asked looking over at her.

"That you'd be an amazing father. He feels safe with you." she reached out for his strong hand.

"I'm never gonna let that kid down James. I promise. He's gonna know he's loved every minute I'm with him." he told her while he continued to stare at his son.

"Roger, I... I know you'll never let him down. You could never let either of us down." she looked up at him, squeezing his hand tighter to accentuate her point.

"I worry about that James. I... I worry about not being good enough with the time I have left. I... I don't want to leave a hole in my sons life, like my fathers death left in mine." he looked over at her, fighting tears.

"Now who's talking about dying?" she smirked up at him.

"Yeah, I... I know James. I... I fought you the whole time you were going through your thing while you were pregnant, but seeing him made me think about it. I... I don't want to miss out on my sons life. His first day of school, teaching him how to ride a bike, his first crush, his prom, I... I'm gonna miss out on a lot of it." he whispered as tears filled his eyes.

"You are the most stubborn son of a bitch I've ever met. If you want to be there for all of those moments, you will be. I... I have faith in you Roger." she grabbed him and held his head her shoulder, comforting him.

"Yeah, that's... that's a nice fantasy, but we both know that it's a miracle I was here to see my first child born." he cried into her shoulder.

"Hey, you're a father now. You need to be around for him, so you better do everything you can to make that happen, do you understand me?" he scolded him, pulling away from him.

"I'll... I'll do my best Baby, I swear." he wiped his tears from his face.

"I know you will." she whispered lifting her hand to caress his wet face. "You're the most important person in our lives Roger. I'm not doing this without you."

"I'm sorry James. I... I don't know what..." he started when she interrupted him.

"You don't know what came over you? I do. The reality that you're responsible for another human being now. I can understand that." she smiled at him.

"He's an amazing human being James. I... I already can't remember my life without him in it." he looked over at his son, who was beginning to stir.

"He's amazing like his father." she smiled laying her head on her pillow, staring at her husband, who was so enamored of their son, his face lit up because the boy was in sight.

"You should get some sleep James. I'm... I'm gonna stay here, so if he gets up, I'll take care of him." he smiled looking over at his wife.

"OK. I... I love you Roger." she smiled up at him.

"I love you so much James. You're the most incredibly strong woman I know." he smiled leaning down to kiss her.

"With you on my side, how could I not be?" she smiled at him.

"I'll always have your back James." he caressed her face.

"I know. You'll always be there whenever I need you." she smiled before closing her eyes as Roger continued to caress her face gently, urging her to sleep. When he heard her breathing slow and even out, he was sure she was asleep. He gently got up from the bed and stood over his sons bassinet. Staring down at this perfect little person that he and Jami made out of love, lay sleeping peacefully, gave him new meaning in this life. His music was not gonna be his mark on the world. This little boy and the man he would become because of his fathers love for him and his mother would be the mark he left on the world. His son was gonna do great things in this world and he was determined to help shape him.

As he stared down at his son, he began to stir. Before he could make a sound, he leaned down to pick him up into his strong, loving arms. "I gotcha big guy. Daddy's gotcha." he whispered leaning down to kiss the baby's forehead.


	68. Chapter 68

Jami and Roger spent Thanksgiving at the Barnett's with the Davis clan visiting them. Heather brought Noah along, as he and her brother's continued getting along. It annoyed Heather that they didn't give him a hard time, as she feared. All those months of worry for nothing. Jami just laughed at her, knowing what she was going through. Back in the beginning of hers and Roger's relationship, she feared that the Davis' wouldn't like her and then that her family wouldn't like him. Fears that were unnecessary.

Now it's just before Christmas, Jami and Mark has started going out and scouting locations for hers and Roger's film. She wanted to see where Roger came from and what he'd been through. Maureen watched Davis for her while they worked. It's just starting to get dark and she and Mark are walking through the park, on their way home. "Mark, I... I really missed going out scouting locations with you. It's been too long." Jami smiled hooking her arm with his to keep warm.

"Me too. It sucked working with the other writers. And I use that term loosely." he smiled down at her.

"I'm sorry. It's... it's been a really busy year, huh?" she smiled up at him.

"Yeah. The tour, marriage, HIV, babies. I guess our lives aren't boring anymore, huh?" she leaned over to kiss her head.

"Mark, I... I never thought our life was boring before." she smiled at him.

"You know what I mean James." he looked down at her.

"Mark I... I never really thanked you for everything you've done for me, have I?" she asked looking up at him.

"Yeah you did. By having Davis, you thanked me. That kid is your gift to us." he looked down at her.

"He's such a miracle. I mean, we... we don't know that he's negative yet, but he's healthy and he's beautiful and he's my link to Roger. When... when Roger's gone, I'll still have him. We all will." she stopped in the middle of the sidewalk.

"James, nothing is gonna happen to him yet. He's as stubborn as they come. You know that." he looked down into her blue eyes.

"I know. I'm just... I don't know. I guess I've been in the house too long." she looked down.

"Jami, are you depressed?" he asked looking down at her.

"No Mark. I'm not depressed. I've just been thinking about stuff. That's all. I'll be OK." she looked up at him.

"Jami, post partum depression is normal, you know? If you're feeling depressed, you shouldn't ignore it."

"I'm not ignoring anything Mark. I'm not depressed. I'm HIV positive and I just had a baby. It's normal to worry about my child being positive or losing my husband." she yelled at him, fighting the tears that were brimming her eyes.

"And you're 26 years old and you have to deal with all of that. Normal 26 year olds are worrying about getting into the cool clubs. But not you. You threw yourself into this life because you knew there were more important things in life." he looked down at her.

"Yeah Mark, I'm 26 years old. My husband and I are HIV positive and my son could be. I... I guess I held things inside for too long and it's finally coming out. Being stuck in the loft with two babies could drive you crazy." she reached up to wipe her eyes.

"You're not crazy James. You're just being real. There's nothing wrong with that." he wrapped his arms around her and held her close.

"OK, lover boy. Don't be a hero. Just give me your wallets and all your jewelry and you and your girl don't get hurt." a gruff voice called out sticking something in Jami's back.

"OK, OK. There's no reason to get violent. We're not gonna resist. Here, take... take everything." Mark stuttered shoving his wallet in the guys direction.

"You, give me everything." he yelled at Jami, who was frozen in fear.

"James, give him your wallet and your jewelry." Mark looked down at her.

"Um... my... my wedding ring, it... it won't come off." she whimpered looking down at her hand.

"Come on lady. I don't have all night." the mugger snapped at her.

"She... she just had a baby. Her hands are still a little bloated." Mark defended Jami, trying to slowly move her away from the mugger. Just as Jami handed over her wallet, a headlight from a passing car flashed in their direction and the mugger ran off.

"Oh my god." Jami cried crumbling into Mark's arms.

"Are you OK? Did he hurt you anywhere?" Mark asked holding her in his arms.

"My... my wallet. He... he stole my wallet. He... he knows where we live." she stuttered looking up at him.

"It's OK Jami. We... we have to call the police and tell them about this before we forget what he looks like." he held her in his arms.

"You can't. You... you can't tell Roger anything about this. He... he worries about me enough." she cried looking up at him.

"We have to tell him Jami. I'm not keeping this from him." he insisted looking down at her.

"He's gonna worry about me more and we both know how ridiculous he is now." she looked up at him.

"I'm calling the cops James." he reached into his pocket, taking out his cell phone and calling the police.

They went to the police station and filed a report. As they spoke to the officer, Roger rushed into the station house. "James, are you OK?" he asked running over to her.

"I'm fine Roger. He has my wallet." she told him wrapping her arms around him.

"It's OK Baby. It's OK. I'm here. Are you OK?" he asked looking down at her.

"Yeah, I'm... I'm OK. He... he didn't hurt me. I... I couldn't get my wedding ring off, so he... he didn't get it." she stuttered.

"It's OK. Things can be replaced." he held her to him.

"The boys. He... he has our address. He can break in and hurt them. What... what do we do?" she asked starting to cry.

"James, he probably threw out your wallets as soon as he got the cash out of it, but just to be safe I'm calling Mr. Grey tonight to have a security system put into the building. I'll take care of everything." he looked up at her.

"You always take care of everything Roger." she looked up at him.

"I'll always take care of you James. You know that. You and Davis are my life." he caressed the tears from her face.

"I... I want to go home." she looked up at him.

"OK, James. I'll take you home." he kissed his wife's head, attempting to soothe her fears.

Later that night they returned to the loft. Maureen was scared, but she tried not to let it show. Mark seemed OK, but Jami was quiet and just wanted to be with her son. After a little while the infant fell asleep in her arms. Jami set him in his crib, kissing him good night before going to bed with her husband. Roger held her protectively in his arms as he fell asleep. Jami lay in her bed, she thought about the mugging earlier in the evening. She tossed and turned. Fear in her mind. She heard her son start to stir through the baby monitor, so she got up and went into his room. "It's OK, my love. Mama's here. I'm never gonna let anything happen to you." she whispered picking him up into her arms. Swaddling the baby in her arms.

Roger woke up, hearing her through the monitor, he rubbed his eyes before rolling over towards the speaker on Jami's night stand. Listening to his wife talk to his son, made his heart skip a beat. "OK, my love. Let's get you back to sleep. It's been a long night for mama." she rocked in the rocking chair. "Starlight and wonder. The universe seen through your eyes. The moon is a glorious halo, hanging high over your head every night." she sang before humming to herself as she looked out the window at the moon. Roger jumped up from the bed and rushed into the nursery.

"James, where did you hear that?" he asked looking over at her.

"Roger, I... I didn't know you were up." she spoke quietly as to not jar her son out of his sleep.

"What was that you were just singing?" he asked entering the bedroom.

"I... I don't know. It just popped into my head. Why? What's the matter?" she asked curious.

"The lyrics, they... they're good. Really good." he knelt next to the rocking chair.

"Roger, they're not lyrics. It's just something I've been thinking about. Looking down at him, just... just made it pop into my head. It's nothing, really." she got up to place her son back into his crib.

"Can... can I use that for a song?" he asked getting up, looking at his wife.

"Sure, I... I guess. If you can't come up with anything better." she smirked up at him.

"James, that's really good. It's perfect actually. I've been trying to write a song for Davis, but I'm coming up blank. Those lyrics are perfect. Um... where... where did you get the melody?" he asked looking down at her.

"I don't know exactly. I just... I just thought it would be soothing to him." she stuttered looking up at him.

"Yeah, it... it was soothing to me." he smiled wrapping his arms around her.

"Shh, I just got him back to sleep." she shushed him before ushering him out of the nursery and into their bedroom.

"You know, if I had known you were a better songwriter than me, I would have had you write the songs for the first album." he smirked plopping on the bed.

"I am not a songwriter Roger. You are. I just... I just wanted to soothe my son back to sleep. It was only a few words. I wish you wouldn't make a big deal about it." she looked over at him.

"It is a big deal James. I've been looking for lyrics to Davis' song and you just blurt them right out. Why the hell have you not been helping me write songs." he laughed looking over at her.

"Because I'm not the songwriter in this marriage Roger, you are. I'm a screenwriter, nothing more. You've got all the talent. I just tell stories." she sat on the bed next to him.

"That's what songwriting is James. Telling a 3 minute story and making people care." he rolled over in the bed, looking up at her.

"Well, you have my lyrics, see what you can do with them. But don't be surprised if they're no help at all." she smirked down at him.

"Why do you do that James? Put yourself down?" he asked sitting up and scooting further up in the bed.

"I don't know, I guess I don't think I'm very talented at songwriting. It was just a fluke. I was just trying to soothe my son back to sleep in the middle of the night, that's all." she looked over at him.

"You're an amazing writer James. What has gotten into you?" he lifted his hand to caress her face.

"I don't know. I... I guess I'm not much for self esteem." she looked over at him.

"Since when? You've been the toughest chic I've ever met, until now. What did that mugger do to you?" he asked looking into her blue eyes.

"I... I don't know. I was so scared he was gonna kill me and Mark. It made me think that maybe I can't take care of myself." she held back tears that were forming in her eyes.

"He didn't James. You're here and you're OK. I'm never gonna let anything happen to you." he insisted.

"Yet something did Roger. I was mugged. That bastard has mine and Mark's ID's and he knows where we live. He can break in and hurt any of us, all of us. He could take the boys. He..." she started trying to hold back tears, but failing.

"He is not gonna hurt any of us, least of all the boys. I locked the downstairs door and the loft door. If he gets through any of the doors, he's gonna have to get through me. I'm ready for him Baby. I will not let anything happen to you guys. I swear." he looked into her tear flooded blue eyes.

"How? He had a gun Roger. He stuck the barrel in my back. A gun beats your baseball bat any day of the week." she cried.

"Have you ever seen me play baseball?" he smirked trying to change the subject.

"That's not funny Roger." she looked up at him.

"Can't blame a guy for trying, huh?" he brought her into his arms, tight.

"Guess not." she buried her face in his strong, protective chest.


	69. Chapter 69

A/N: Finally an update. I know, shocking, isn't it? Enjoy.

Renthead621

It's been a week since the mugging and Jami still isn't sleeping. She tosses and turns, jumping at every bump in the night. She heard Davis crying, so she got up quickly, so it wouldn't wake Roger up. As soon as she entered her sons room, she looked in the crib and the baby had lulled himself back to sleep. She smiled down thinking about how independent her son was already. She admired the snow that was coming down outside his bedroom window when a noise startled her. The wind blew harder, causing a whistling sound. She rushed over to the window in her sons room, making sure it was locked. She crept across the room and sat in the corner, in the dark.

After approximately an hour of patrolling her sons room, she heard someone walking around in the living room. She sat quietly as the footsteps came closer. She saw a shadow in the doorway as she sat in fear. "Jami, are... are you in here?" the voice called out quietly.

"Mark, you scared the hell out of me." she looked up as her legs were pressed against her chest.

"What... what are you doing in here? He's sleeping, you should be too." he walked towards her.

"I... I heard Davis crying and then when I got in here, he was asleep. He's just like Roger. Already taking care of himself." she looked up at her sons crib.

"Yeah, when it comes to sleep, the Davis men are addicted." he smirked up at the crib. "Do you wanna tell me why you're in the corner of your sons bedroom at 2 in the morning?" he knelt down in front of her.

"I told you, the baby is having a problem sleeping." she told him looking down at her knees.

"You mean, his mother is having a problem sleeping." he sat down in front of her, folding his legs.

"I don't... I don't know what's wrong with me Mark. It's... it's like... every little noise scares the hell out of me." she looked up at him.

"The mugging." he nodded looking over at her.

"Roger doesn't understand. It would never have happened to him." she looked over at him.

"I... I guess it wouldn't have. He's always in control." Mark folded his hands in his lap looking down.

"Mark, I..." she started when he looked up at her.

"I know what you meant Jami. I mean, I guess I wouldn't fuck with Roger either." he smirked at her.

"I just... I feel stupid that I'm afraid of every sound. I used to feel safe here. Roger always made me feel safe, but now..." she looked up at him. Fighting tears.

"Jami, there's nothing to feel stupid about. You were mugged last week." he reached over to take her hand in his.

"So were you and you're not scared." she looked over at him.

"That's because I've been mugged before. More than once. And do you know who was always there?" he asked as she shook her head, wiping the tears from her face. "Roger. He was always there for me. Even when he was fucked up, he never let anyone hurt me or take advantage of me."

"Really?" she asked looking over at him.

"Yeah. Don't underestimate Roger. He may be a big bad ass, but he's there for you no matter what." he smiled at her.

"I never underestimate my husband. It's just... I... I don't want him to think that he is the only one who can protect me." she looked up at him.

"Isn't he?" Mark looking down at his lap.

"I know she's safe with you Mark." Roger spoke from the doorway.

"Dammit, what did I say about this family spying on each other?" she asked getting up from the floor,

"I... I heard you through the baby monitor. I didn't mean to spy on you guys." he walked over to his wife.

"Roger, I'm so afraid of everything ever since the mugging. I... I know you would never let anything happen to me, but..." she started as he put his hands on her arms.

"Something did." he whispered.

"On my watch." Mark chimed in getting up from the floor.

"It's not your fault Mark. You tried to protect me." Jami looked over at him.

"And you did good. She wasn't hurt. That's all I've ever asked from you." Roger looked over at him.

"But she was mugged while she was with me. I couldn't protect her." Mark stood next to them.

"You did protect her Mark. She's here."

"Mark, you did everything you could do. I was scared to death and you were level headed enough to just give him what he wanted so he didn't hurt us." Jami looked over at him.

"Yeah, he didn't hurt you out there, but you're here hiding in your sons room because you heard a noise." Mark muttered looking down at her.

"Mark don't... don't do that. You... you gave him what he wanted and tried to move me away from him so I would be safe. It's not your fault that I'm scared." she looked up at him with tears in her eyes.

"It's normal to be scared after what happened to you guys. It's called post traumatic stress. Maybe... maybe you guys should go see someone about it." Roger looked down at them.

"Maybe... maybe that's a good idea." Mark looked over at her.

"OK. I'll... I'll go." she looked up at Mark before looking up at Roger.

"Come on. He's sound asleep, now it's time for mommy to get some rest too." Roger ran his fingers through her long blond hair.

"OK. Um... good night Mark." Jami looked over at him before wrapping her arms around him.

"Good night James." he kissed her temple gently before the three of them left Davis' room and went their separate ways. Mark went into his sons room to check on him as Roger and Jami disappeared into their bedroom.

"Are you OK Baby?" Roger asked as they climbed into bed.

"No, but I... I will be. I... I promise." she looked over at him.

"James, I... I wish I could fix this for you." he confessed looking over at her.

"There's nothing to fix Roger. I... I just have to come to terms with living in the real world. Things happen that we can't control. You can't always fix things for me. I'm gonna have to do it for myself." she looked over at him.

"But it's my job to fix things for you. I'm your husband." he leaned closer to her as they sat up in the bed.

"And a great husband you are, but Roger, I'm a big girl. I need to be able to take care of myself. I... I can't keep looking over my shoulder for danger. I... I can't live like that." she looked over at him.

"You shouldn't have to Baby." he raised his arm to wrap it around her small slender shoulders.

"I'm not going to. I'm living with HIV, some dirtbag mugger isn't going to stop me from living my life." he looked up at him.

"That's my girl." he leaned over to kiss her on the head before lying down.

"I love being your girl." she whispered before lying on his chest and falling asleep. Nestled securely in her husband's arms.


	70. Chapter 70

Jami and Mark sat in the therapists office, waiting for their appointment. Roger and Maureen stayed home with the boys, so they went alone. Mark flipped through a newspaper that was sitting on the coffee table, While Jami played with her cuticles. He glanced over at her, periodically reaching over to take her hand. "It's OK Jami. I'm right here." he smiled at her comfortingly.

"I'm fine Mark. Really." she looked up at him, her face unsure.

"No you're not James. That's why we're here." he smiled clutching her hand.

"Mark, can... can I ask you something?" she asked looking over at him.

"Sure, what's on your mind?" he asked.

"Do you think I'd make a good songwriter?" she asked looking up at him.

"Sure, why not? The only difference between songwriting and what you do now is you have to rhyme. Why do you ask?" he asked curiously.

"Roger... Roger heard me singing something that came into my head the other night when I was trying to get Davis settled down. He... he said that it the lyrics were really good." she looked up at him.

"Then they were. Trust him. He knows what he's talking about when it comes to music." he smiled at her.

"But I didn't mean for them to be lyrics, I just... I was staring down at Davis and the words came to me. He came rushing in and started raving about how great they were and how he wanted to use them for a song for Davis and telling me how I should be helping him write songs, but... I'm not a songwriter. I'm a screenwriter. I write screenplays not songs. That's... that's Roger's thing." she looked down at her lap.

"You're an amazing writer Jami. Maybe you should be helping him. Couldn't do much worse." he joked squeezing her hand.

"Roger's an incredible songwriter." she laughed out loud bumping into him with her shoulder.

"I know that, but just imagine what the two of you could do together. I know I'd want to hear what you can come up with." he smiled down at her.

"Thanks Mark. I... I appreciate you saying that." she smiled up at him as the therapist came out and called their names. They rose and went into the office. They spoke for nearly an hour regarding the mugging and their feelings of fear that followed. The therapist did her best to extinguish Jami's fears that the mugger would come back to harm them or the boys. She agreed with Roger that the mugger most likely took out all of the money and disposed of their wallets without bothering to look at the identification inside.

When they left the therapists office, Jami was feeling much better about things. Her fear was still there, but it was more focused on her fear of living in New York City, not of the mugger coming back to hurt her son and Michael. As they entered the loft, they heard guitar playing coming from Jami and Roger's bedroom. Jami looked up at Mark who shrugged before moving quietly towards the bedroom door to get a closer listen.

_Tonight, you can dream you're a star  
You can walk on the clouds  
And float to the ground  
And I'm with you  
Tonight you can get very far  
The calm and the storm, and forever yours  
And I'm with you  
We stare out the window  
And look to the sky every night  
The stars are the beacons of heaven,  
And maybe one day you'll go up for a ride_

Upon hearing this, tears rose to Jami's eyes. "He's still got it." Mark smiled leaning in to kiss Jami's head before going towards his room. She looked back at him before lifting her hand to push the bedroom door open. "Roger, that... that was beautiful." she smiled looking over at her husband as he sang to his son, who was sitting in the infant carrier on the floor in front of the bed.

"Baby... hey. I um... I was um..." he stuttered with the guitar lying on his lap.

"You were singing the most amazing song I've ever heard. When... when did you write that?" she asked looking over at him.

"It's not done yet, but I'm closer than I was before. Thanks to you. Those lyrics you were singing to Davis the other night. That's... that's how I started the song and the other lyrics are just coming to me." he smiled as the baby lay sleeping in the infant seat.

"Roger, I... I don't know what to say. It's... um... It's..." she sat heavily on the bed, her eyes brimming with tears.

"Say it's good." he laughed looking over at her.

"It's good. It's... it's really good. Roger, I... I love it." she laughed as a single tear rolled down her cheek.

"Thank god. I would hate for the song my sons parents wrote for him sucks." he smirked as he took the guitar off of his lap, setting it next to the bed.

"You could never write anything that sucks." she moved closer to him as he wrapped his arms around her.

"You co-wrote it James. It's because of what you came up with that I could write this for him. From us." he lifted his hand to caress her hair.

"I... I didn't write much. I just... I just came up with a couple of words. You... you did it all. You're the talented one." she looked up at him.

"James, you are the most talented woman I know. If it wasn't for you, I'd still be banging my head against the wall trying to write a song for my son. Because of you, I did. And it's from the both of us. It's the most perfect song I've ever done." he whispered looking into her blue eyes.

"More perfect than my song?" she smiled up at him.

"Different kind of perfect James." he smiled kissing her head.

"Good answer Davis." she laughed nestling her face into his chest.

"I'm learning" he laughed as he laid back against the wall, bringing Jami with him. "How was the shrink?" he asked looking down at her.

"She's a therapist Roger. Not a shrink. And it went fine. She just told me all the things you told me and I think I'm OK. I mean, not all the way, but it's a start, right?" she looked up at him.

"Yeah Baby, it's a start." he smiled holding her tighter in his arms as he watched his son sleep soundly in his seat.

Out in the living room, Mark and Maureen came out of their bedroom and sat on the couch to listen to Roger and Jami's conversation. They knew how much Jami hated when everyone eavesdropped on one another, but they loved listening to the way they talked to each other. They worshiped the ground the other walked on. "She's getting better, isn't she?" Maureen smiled looking over at Mark.

"Yep. She's gonna be fine."

"And Roger's slump is over. He wrote Davis a song." she smiled at him.

"_They_ wrote Davis a song." he corrected smiling over at her.

"Then she should sing it with him, don't you think?" she asked looking over at him.

"Jami is not a singer Maureen. She's a writer."

"Trust me Mark. She's a singer. I've heard her enough times when she thinks no one's listening." she smiled at him.

"So then maybe she should sing it with him." he agreed lifting his arm to put around her shoulder.

"We just have to get her to agree to it." she smirked as he raised an eyebrow at her.

"You're already thinking of how you're gonna get her to agree to it, aren't you?" he asked.

"Of course. But my part's easy. All I have to do is get Roger to talk her into it. He's got the tough part."

"Her actually getting over her shyness and doing it." he smiled at her as she nodded. "I hope the Roger Davis charm is up to the challenge." he laughed quietly as they relaxed on the couch together.

"Somehow I'm thinking we're gonna be seeing her on stage sometime soon." Maureen smiled laying her head on Mark's shoulder.

"Yeah, he's got a way with her, doesn't he?" Mark chuckled playing with Maureen's curls.

"You have a way with me too Mark Cohen." she flashed her green eyes at him.

"Thanks Maureen. I appreciate that." he smiled leaning down to kiss her head as they continued relaxing.


	71. Chapter 71

Later that night, Jami was sleeping soundly in her bed. It was the first time in weeks that she actually slept. Roger stared down at her and smiled. She looked peaceful. He got up and shuffled quietly into the kitchen. Pouring himself a bowl of cereal, he sat at the metal counter staring down at some sheet music. Mark's bedroom door opened and Roger looked up. "Hey." he nodded in Mark's direction.

"Hey. Where's Jami?" Mark asked looking up at him.

"Sleeping finally. It's been a while. She needed it." he smiled dipping his spoon back into the bowl of cereal.

"What are you doing up?" he asked approaching his best friend.

"I don't know, just couldn't sleep." he shrugged.

"Rog, can I say something?" Mark asked cautiously.

"What's up?" Roger asked before shoveling another spoonful of cereal into his mouth.

"Um... James... James should sing that song with you." he stuttered looking over at him.

"You know how she hates when we eavesdrop on each other." he smirked at him.

"Yeah, I know, but we couldn't help it. We like listening to you guys." he joked looking over at him.

"Do you realize how creepy that sounds?" Roger smiled at him.

"Yeah, but... she should be singing it with you. You have to know that." Mark insisted leaning on the counter.

"Yeah, I know that. But you know James. How do you propose I get her to sing with me?" he put his spoon down sitting up straighter.

"That's your job, rock star husband." he joked.

"Gee thanks for your support." Roger laughed looking over at him.

"You know you can get her to do anything. She's your wife. She's wrapped around your calloused fingers." Mark laughed looking over at him.

"You... you have met my wife, right? My new and very much improved wife. She don't take shit from me anymore." Roger looked over at him confused.

"She's a good singer Roger. You can't do that song without her." he looked up at him.

"I know she's a good singer Mark, but I ask again, how do you propose I get her to sing with me?" he asked looking over at him.

"The same way you get her to do everything else. Flash her your green eyes and the Roger Davis winning smile. Showing a little chest wouldn't hurt." he got up.

"Ha! You know that doesn't work anymore. She's all about being the mama now. The days of her melting at my every glance are gone." Roger laughed at him.

"You can do it Roger. Just blurt out some romantic words and she'll be eating out of the palm of your hand." Mark laughed as he started walking towards his bedroom.

"You're no help film boy." he called out quietly, as to not wake anyone else up.

"You'll figure it out. You're no stranger to getting women to do whatever he wants." Mark smirked going into his bedroom and shutting the door quietly behind him.

"Yeah, thanks. Thanks a lot man." he laughed dumping his cereal into the sink before walking quietly off to his bedroom. As he opened the door, Jami was still sound asleep. He sat gently next to her before reaching over to sweep a stray hair out of her face. She took a deep breath before opening her eyes.

"Roger, what time is it? Is the baby OK?" she asked looking up at him, seeing that it was still dark out.

"Around midnight or so. I... I wanted to ask you something James and I want you to promise me that you'll think about it. Seriously think about it." he smiled down at her.

"What are you talking about?" she asked curious.

"Sing with me James. Davis... Davis' song, sing it with me." he stuttered looking down at his wife.

"I'm not a singer Roger, you are." she sat up in the bed.

"You weren't a songwriter either, yet somehow you did that. Why can't you sing too?" he asked looking down at her.

"I did not write a song Roger. I... I came up with a couple of lines for the baby. You made it into a song." she leaned against the wall, folding her arms across her chest.

"I just used the words you came up with and built it from there. You should sing it with me." he insisted.

"You do realize that I have never sung before, right?" she smirked at him.

"I've heard you James. You're good. Really good." he reached out for her hand.

"At karaoke Roger. Singing a real song with my husband, who happens to be a big rock star is something completely different." she smiled at him.

"I wouldn't say that I'm a big rock star..." he stuttered flashing his winning smile and green eyes at his wife.

"Oh shut up. You know you are." she laughed lifting her right arm to push him in the chest playfully.

"Come on James. I want to do this with you. Don't make me beg." he pleaded smiling at her.

"I should make you beg a little. Just to keep you on your game." she joked, resisting the urge to agree to his every whim.

"Why do you make me suffer like this, woman?"

"I don't know, fun I guess." she laughed as he moved in closer to her.

"You're gonna be the death of me, you realize that, don't you?" he lifted his hand to her soft face.

"Nah, I just make your life extremely interesting." she laughed leaning in to kiss him.

"You got that right Baby." he kissed her again.

"OK, so... say I sing this with you and I'm completely bad. I mean, off key and totally tone deaf. Then what? Are you gonna tell me that I'm bad or are you gonna make me make a fool of myself for all to hear?" she asked looking into his green eyes.

"You are not gonna be completely bad. You're a great singer James."

"Let me think about it, OK?" she smiled as he threw his arms around her.

"Take as long as you need." he held her in his arms. As she nestled her face in his chest, they heard the baby start to cry.

"Duty calls. But keep my place, I'll be right back." she smiled starting to get up to go to Davis' room.

"I'll be here." he smiled before lying back on the pillows on Jami's side of the bed. As he lay on the bed, he heard Jami with their son through the baby monitor.

"It's OK my sweet boy. Mama's got you. Mama will always have you." she smiled picking her son up from the crib.

"And I'll always have both of you." Roger whispered to himself, folding his hands on his stomach before closing his eyes. Listening to his wife interact with his son.

After 45 minutes, Jami returned to hers and Roger bedroom. He was sound asleep lying against her pillows. She smiled as she began walking towards the other side of the bed. She quietly climbed in and fell asleep.

The next morning, It was 6 am when Jami was awakened by her sons crying. She turned back to see that her husband had shifted. He was now wrapped around her protectively. She carefully unwrapped herself from his loving grasp and went into her sons room. "Hey, my if it isn't my handsome little alarm clock." she chuckled picking him up from his crib. She set him on the changing table before beginning to change his diaper and his clothes. "Are we ready for breakfast?" she asked picking him up and bringing him into the main living area. She reached into the refrigerator for a 4 ounce bottle and set it in the microwave to heat it up. She took the bottle and tested it on her wrist before walking to the window seat to feed her son. No one was up yet, so it was just the two of them. As much as Jami loved her family, she loved being alone with her son. It was when she felt the most at peace.

As Davis drank his bottle, Roger shuffled out of their bedroom. He rubbed his eyes before running his fingers through his blond hair, smiling at the sight of his beautiful wife and their son. He always thought Jami was beautiful, but watching her with his son, he got a new appreciation for her beauty. She smiled at him as he approached her. He wordlessly leaned down to kiss her lips. "Don't even say it. I know I look like hell first thing in the morning." she smirked up at him.

"You could never look like hell holding my son." he smiled at her.

"Liar." she chuckled looking up at him.

"Hey little man, your mama is one beautiful woman, isn't she?" he whispered, caressing the baby's whispy blond hair. The baby opened his eyes, staring up at Roger.

"And your father is hopeless." she giggled looking down at her son.

"It's not my fault my wife is hot." Roger smiled caressing his wife's face.

"Yeah, yeah yeah." she laughed, taking the bottle out of her sons mouth and lifting him to her shoulder.

"Can I burp him?" Roger asked looking over at her.

"Sure. Be my guest." she smiled as she handed the baby over to him.

"Hey little man. Got mama up early, huh?" he asked looking over at her.

"Yeah, like I could sleep with you getting in my head anyway." she laughed looking over at him.

"I did no such thing." he smiled burping his son on his shoulder.

"You are such a bullshitter. Oh my god, I can't believe you have the nerve to say that with a straight face." she laughed looking over at him.

"I just want my sons parents to sing him a song that we wrote for him. What's wrong with that?"

"OK, say I agree to your crazy idea." she got up as Roger bounced his son on his shoulder.

"Yeah?" he followed her.

"How would this work? I mean, I can't just go in the studio and sing, right?" she asked.

"We can go to the studio and you can sing a song your comfortable singing and find your comfort zone. Then we can work the notes and harmony and see how it goes. It's really easier than it sounds."

"I hope so because it sounds like you're trying to make me a rock star. You wouldn't do that now, would you Babe?" she asked smirking over at him.

"Of course not. I love you just the way you are, but you are an amazing singer and people should hear you. Especially your son. And especially a song you co wrote for him." he smiled at her.

"You suck Roger." she smirked walking away from him.

"Not the only time you'll hear that little man. Mommy loves to yell at daddy when he's right and I'm right a lot." he laughed looking at his son.

"Oh, you wish." she called out, laughing before throwing the remaining half of the 4 oz bottle at him. He reached up and caught it with one hand, still laughing.

"Expressing a little frustration, are we?" he laughed holding the bottle and the baby.

"I hate it when you act like this." she laughed looking over at him.

"Act like what?" he laughed still bouncing the baby.

"Like an ass who thinks he knows everything." she chuckled. Just then, Mark and Maureen's bedroom door opened and they both entered the main living area.

"What the hell is going on?" Mark asked as Maureen ran her fingers through her curly hair.

"Sorry, my wife is just frustrated that she married a genius." Roger laughed as Jami stuck her tongue out at him.

"It's too early for you two. Seriously." Maureen groaned shuffling to her sons room.

"Sorry Maureen." Jami called out plopping down on the stool in the kitchen.

"What's going on anyway?" Mark asked looking over at them.

"Just your buddy gloating. He sucks by the way, just so you know." Jami answered as Roger stood with a beaming smile on his face.

"Yeah, I guess you talked her into singing Davis' song with you." Mark laughed looking over at her.

"I should have known. Living with you two is proving to be trouble for me." she got up and went to make her toast.

"Jami, you're a great singer. You should be singing with Roger." Maureen told her coming out of her sons room.

"You're in on this too? I'm out numbered, aren't I?" Jami asked walking over to Roger.

"Looks like." Roger smiled down at her as she reached out for the baby, who was surprisingly sleeping.

"How is this fair?" she smirked up at him.

"It's not, so you might as well just give in and let it happen." he smiled at her as she cradled her son in her arms.

"Yay, another hat for me to wear. How nice." she smiled placing the baby in the bassinet in the corner of the living room.

"Baby, I've been wanting to sing with you since that first weekend at my mom's. This is a dream come true for me." Roger smiled at her.

"Roger, that was a karaoke bar. That's a far cry from creating a song and recording it in a studio. I was a little drunk that night." she walked back to the kitchen to finish her toast.

"A little?" he squawked.

"OK, a lot. That's my point. I was drunk singing lame 80's songs with your sister and your cousins. I can't go into a recording studio and sing like you do." she looked over at him.

"I know talent James. And you're extremely talented." he smiled at her.

"And this is why you suck." she smirked reaching into the refrigerator for her orange juice.

"And why is that?" he was amused by her attitude.

"Because you make me believe anything is possible, even when it's so far fetched that I can't see it myself."

"That's why you love me." he smiled walking over to her.

"And that's why living with you two is impossible." Maureen chuckled feeding Michael his breakfast.

"We're sorry Maureen." Jami laughed as Roger collected her into his loving arms.

"No you're not. And you better not be. I want my son raised believing in a love like yours." she smiled over her shoulder at them as they looked at each other and smiled.


	72. Chapter 72

It's 6 months later and Roger has been touring the tristate area. Never straying too far from his wife and son. He's been putting the finishing touches on Davis' song and he finally has a day off, so he and Jami are in the studio working on her demo tracks. For 6 months, she's been stalling and Heather and Noah have come to the city to take their nephew out to buy him an outfit for their upcoming nuptials, so she is out of excuses.

"Alright James, I'm ready when you are." he told her from the control booth.

"I... I don't know if I can do this. I mean, I'm not a singer." she stuttered as she held the headphones in her hand in front of the microphone.

"Come on James. It's just like karaoke. You have the lyrics, just like singing along to the radio."

"Right, just like singing along to the radio." she muttered nervously.

"You can do this James. Just let me know when you're ready." he smiled reassuringly.

The music started and Jami put her headphones on. She stared intently at her husband before concentrating on the lyric sheet in front of her. She cleared her throat before singing Belinda Carlisle's song Mad About You. A song Roger picked out for her.

_I'm mad about you _

_You're mad about me babe _

_Couple of fools run wild aren't we _

_Pushing the day into the nighttime _

_Somewhere between the two _

_We start to see _

_Mad about you_

_Mad about you _

_Lost in your eyes_

_Reason aside _

_Mad about love_

_Mad about you _

_You and I _

_Something 'bout you _

_Right here beside me _

_Touches the touched part of me like I can't believe _

_Pushing the night into the daytime _

_Watching the sky's first light _

_While the city sleeps _

_Mad about you_

_Mad about you _

_Lost in your eyes_

_Reason aside _

_Mad about love_

_Mad about you You and I _

_Something 'bout you _

_Right here beside me _

_Touches the touched part of me like I can't believe_

As she sang along to the music, Jami closed her eyes, thinking about her relationship with Roger. From their first heated kiss to the first dinner he cooked for her with the loft lit only in candlelight to their secret wedding and finally the day their son was born. Just as the song was ending, she opened her eyes to see her husband leaning back in his chair, wearing a rather large grin. One that told her he liked what he was hearing. As soon as the song ended, he stood up and began clapping. "Oh shut up." she laughed embarrassed, taking the headphones off of her head.

"James, that was brilliant." he called out rushing into the studio.

"Oh yeah, Belinda Carlisle better watch her back." she told him sarcastically.

"James, come here." he said taking her hand and leading her into the control booth. He replayed what she had just sung. Her mouth dropped open. She couldn't believe her ears.

"That's... that's me? What did you do to make me sound like that?" she asked looking up at him in astonishment.

"I hit record. That's it. That's all you James." he smiled down at her.

"How... how could I sound like that?"

"I don't know how you could sound like that and not be a singer. You're an incredible singer James. But you never let it go like that before. You have to do this full time." he insisted looking down at her.

"Oh yeah, another full time job. That's all I need. Wife, mother, writer... why not add singer to the mix." she sat down in the chair at the control panel.

"Baby, you made me believe in myself when I gave up and now look at me. I'm working on my second studio album, I'm touring, I'm a husband and a father... James, it's because of you. All of who I am is because of you. I'm not gonna let you give up on yourself. You have true talent." he reched out for her hand and caressed it tenderly with his thumb.

"You... you're only saying that because I'm your wife." she stammered holding back tears.

"No I'm not. I'm saying it because it's true. You're amazing. I want to sing with you." he smiled at her.

"And what about Davis?" she asked as a tear escaped her eye.

"I want my son to be proud of his mama. Davis will be fine. He will always come first, but you can't not do this James." he smiled reaching up to caress the tear from her face.

"Ugh, how am I supposed to say no to you when you make me melt like this?" she laughed looking into his green eyes.

"Guess you're in trouble again, huh?" he laughed looking up at her.

"Yeah well, don't get used to it. I'm still the mama." she laughed.

"I'll take what I can get." he smiled leaning up to kiss her.

"How about we try doing Davis' song? You have your guitar, right?" she asked raising her hands to hold his face.

"Sure baby, we can do that." he agreed kissing her again before getting up to get his guitar.

They went into the studio and Roger began strumming his guitar. He began singing the opening lyrics before looking over at Jami. "Jump in whenever you feel comfortable, OK?" he smiled as she nodded meekly. He continued to sing when she joined in, attempting to adjust her voice to compliment his.

_Tonight, you can dream you're a star_

_You can walk on the clouds_

_And float to the ground _

_And I'm with you_

He stopped singing, allowing Jami to sing alone. She stammered a bit, but then began to take off with it. By the end of the song, she had sung most of it. "I can't believe you made me do that alone." she removed her headphones as he simply smiled at her.

"That's the way we should do it."

"I was shaky and off key at some points." she criticized herself.

"You were not." he squeaked getting up to set his guitar on the stand before going into the control room.

"Where are you going?" she asked confused as she followed him.

"Listen to this." he sat her down before pressing play on the control panel, playing the song.

"You... you recorded that?" she asked surprised.

"Of course I did James. I wanted to hear myself singing with my wife." he smiled as the song played in the background.

"This... this is incredible. I... I don't know what to say." she was breathless.

"I told you,. Aren't you glad I talked you into this?" he asked placing his strong hands on her delicate shoulders.

"I... I didn't know. I swear. I... I didn't know I was capable of this." she stuttered fighting tears.

"You just needed someone to believe in you as much as you believe in me." he leaned down to kiss her head.

"Can... can we take this home? I... I want Davis to hear this." she looked up at him as tears flooded her eyes.

"Of course Baby. We can do anything you want." he smiled wrapping his arms around her shoulders, kissing the back of her head again.

Back at the loft, Roger's going over his set list, song sheets scattered all over the metal table. Jami is sitting on the window seat waiting for Heather and Noah to return with her son. Her legs are folded in front of her and she's staring out he window.

"Baby, can you give me a hand here?" he asked noticing her anxiety.

"Where can they be? They've been gone for hours." she asked getting up from the window.

"They'll be back any minute now. As soon as Heather figures out she has to change his diaper." he joked looking up at her.

"Oh stop. She's changed his diaper before." she laughed looking down at him.

"Yeah, at my mom's that time when you went shopping with my mom and I was rehearsing for that gig at that club in Hoboken." he looked up at her.

"But she did it. That's all that counts." she leaned down to kiss him.

"I hate when you take her side." he sneered jokingly.

"Oh, but I love you more." she caressed his scruffy face.

"I guess that's OK then." he smiled at her.

"And anyway, with you, Chris and Dougie against her, she needs an ally against you mean boys." she laughed looking over at him.

"We're her brother's. It's our job to gang up on her."

"You keep telling yourself that. OK, what do you need a hand with?" she asked kissing his nose.

"Set list. I wanna mix it up and I don't know what songs to put where." he told her as she looked down at the song list.

"I'm With You? Roger, you're doing Davis' song?" she asked looking down at him.

"I was kind of hoping we could do Davis' song." he smiled at her.

"We? No way. Out of the question." she told him walking away from him.

"Come on James, it's going on the new album. You have to get used to performing it." he looked over at her.

"Performing it? I haven't even recorded it yet. I... I never signed on for that." she paced around the living room.

"James, what did you think we were doing? Messing around?" he asked getting up from his chair.

"I... I didn't think I'd have to get up on stage and sing it in front of thousands of people." he squeaked looking over at him.

"Baby, you're ready. You can do this." he walked towards her.

"I knew it. I knew you were gonna do this. You're turning me into a singer. I'm not a singer Roger. I'm a screenwriter." she looked up at him frustrated.

"And you're still a screenwriter, but you're also a singer. An amazing singer. There's nothing saying you can't do both." he towered over her, reaching out for her arm.

"Everything says I can't do both. I'm a screenwriter, a wife, a mother... I... I'm only one person." she told him, clearly angry.

"Who says?" he asked defensively.

"I do. I can't do everything Roger." she yelled as Heather and Noah entered the loft with Davis.

"Are we interrupting something?"Noah asked holding Davis in his arms.

"Well, your future brother in law is trying to turn me into a rock star." she told him walking over to them as Noah and Heather exchanged looks.

"I hate to break it to you Jami, but... you're a great singer. You should be a rock star." Heather said looking over at her sister in law.

"Don't you think I have enough on my plate right now? Do you really think I need to add rock star to it?" she asked looking over at Heather.

"You can add anything you want to your plate James, but rock star? Yeah, I think that's one that definitely needs to be added." Roger looked over at her.

"You're impossible. Would someone please tell him that he's being impossible?" she asked looking over at Noah.

"Don't look at me, there's no way I'm going against Roger on this one. He knows talent." Noah smiled over at her.

"I don't believe this. You're all on his side. Great." she carried her son over to his play pen and set him down.

"You're an amazing singer Jami. I heard you that night 2 years ago at karaoke. You looked like you were having a lot of fun." Noah said as Heather looked over at him.

"You were there?" she asked looking over at him.

"Of course I was. I wanted to meet the family, but Heather kept telling me how they were and I had to see for myself." he smirked at her.

"How did she say we were?" Roger asked looking over at Heather.

"Jerks, Roger. She knows how you and your brothers are to each other. She was worried about what you and your sadomasochistic brothers would put Noah through." Jami smiled looking over at him.

"Hey, we weren't that bad." he called out looking over at them.

"Shock of all shocks." Heather muttered out, walking over to the refrigerator for a soda.

"Aren't we getting a little off subject here? I can't be a singer." Jami looked over at them.

"Yet you are. Weren't you in the studio today? You heard it for yourself. You belong up there with me." Roger walked over to his wife.

"Performing? Can you see me performing in front of hordes of people the way you do?" she asked looking up at him.

"It's my dream." he smiled down at her.

"Boy, you don't go for the small ones, do you?" she smirked at him.

"Nope. My dad always used to tell me, it you're gonna dream, you might as well dream big." he leaned down to kiss her as Heather and Noah smiled at them.

"Your dad is a trouble maker." she laughed looking up at him.

"Gotta love the Davis sense of humor. Even from the grave your father in law is messing with you." Heather laughed at her.


	73. Chapter 73

Roger sat at the table in the kitchen listening to a cd on his walkman. The song blaring through the speakers of the headphones was I'm With You. Recorded just 3 days earlier. It wasn't the finished product, but he was working on how best to collaborate Jami's voice with his own.

First he heard his own voice, then Jami's voice joined his. The smile on his face grew as he listened to his wife sing, watching his wife playing on the floor with their 7 month old son. She looked up at him and smiled. His smile still knocked her out. She would never admit it to him, but she still got weak in the knees every time he looked at her.

She leaned over to bring her son onto her lap before getting up and walked over to her husband. He took the headphones off of his head and smiled at her. "What are you listening to?" she smiled at him.

"You and me." he smiled back.

"Aren't you sick of that yet?" she giggled bouncing her son on her hip. "You've listened to that a million times already? What else could you possibly be listening for?" she asked approaching him.

"Little things here and there." he smiled.

"You better not be trying to get me to sing the whole thing on my own." she waned him as Davis played with her hair, gently pulling it.

"Of course not James. That would defeat the purpose of us singing it together. I'm just trying to figure out how best to configure everything." he smiled at her.

"Yeah well, I think you have listened to that so much. Your brain is starting to melt." she laughed staring down at the papers he had before him.

"No, I'm just enjoying the sound of my wife's voice." he smiled at her.

"You're impossible. Your father is impossible." she smirked looking down at her son as Roger reached over the counter to poke him in the stomach.

"Your mother just thinks that because she knows I'm right. I'm always right." he laughed as his son laughed with him.

"I hate you." she laughed looking down at her husband before walking away from him.

"Hey, is that anyway to talk in front of your son?" Roger stood up before skulking from behind the counter to come up behind his wife, wrapping his arms around her waist.

"Roger, stop. I'm holding the baby." she shrieked holding her son tighter.

"Come on. Give me my son. You've had him all day." Roger reached out to take hold of the baby.

"Good, he needs to be changed." she teased walking away from him.

"Oh woman, you suck." he laughed holding his giggling son.

"Ha ha. Who rules? Oh wait, it's me." she laughed before shutting her bedroom door behind her.

"Your mommy is the coolest chick, huh?" Roger smiled down at his son before going into the nursery to change him.

Jami sat down on her bed and picked up her laptop. Words had started coming into her head and she wanted to jot them down. "Ugh, I'm not a songwriter. Why the hell am I writing a song?" she groaned to herself before jotting the lyrics down.

_Don't know just where I'm going  
And tomorrow, it's a little overwhelming  
And the air is cold  
And I'm not the same anymore  
I've been running in your direction  
For to long now  
I've lost my own reflection  
And I can't look down  
If you're not there to catch me when I fall._

She stared down at the words she just wrote down and smiled. She heard the melody in her head, but didn't know how to play an instrument. She knew she had to bring these lyrics to the attention of her husband. Something she didn't want to do. She knew he would want her to sing it on the new album and that meant that she would be a singer. Something she had been fighting against for months. But she knew these lyrics would make a great song. As she thought about it, there was a knock at the door. "Mommy, daddy's lonely. Are you coming out?" he called out as she shut the laptop.

"Yeah, give... give me a minute." she got up and walked to the door. "What?" she smirked up at him.

"I'm lonely. What are you doing in there James?" he asked looking down at her.

"If you must know, Mr. Nosey, I'm writing something." she laughed coming out of the bedroom.

"Oh? What are you writing Baby?" he asked looking down at her.

"Nothing... nothing much. Just a little something." she looked up at him as the baby drank his bottle in the playpen for his nap.

"Anything you want to share with your husband." he asked following her to the window.

"A song, OK? I'm... I'm writing a song." she whispered, hoping not to wake the baby.

"You're writing a song? Let me hear it." he smiled at her.

"It's not done yet Roger and I... I don't see it getting done anytime soon. Since I don't play an instrument and haven't the foggiest idea how to read music." she complained looking up at him.

"I can help you with that. All you have to do is let me know what you were thinking and we can work on it. You can do the lyrics and I can just help you with the music. Let me do this with you James." he pleaded sitting next to her.

"I... I was kind of hoping to do this alone. You know, to see if I'm really a songwriter." she looked up at him.

"OK James. I respect that. Um... if it helps, I'm pretty sure Adam can help you out. If you think that'll help." he smiled leaning over to kiss her head.

"It... it does. Thanks. And thanks for understanding." she smiled at him.

"Anything for you Baby." he smiled as he leaned back against the wall and held her in his arms.

"Brings back memories, doesn't it?" she leaned back against his chest.

"That first night when I made you dinner." he nodded looking down at her.

"Way before Davis, huh? We didn't have a care in the world." she smiled.

"Way before a lot of things Baby." he smiled kissing her head.

"Before I was a songwriter?" she smirked lightly elbowing him in the stomach.

"Yeah, something like that." he laughed burying his face in her hair.

"You always believed in me, didn't you?" she asked turning around in his arms.

"I always will James. You have to know that." he lifted his hand to caress her face.

"I do Roger. I promise." she smiled looking up into his green eyes.

"When is Mark and Maureen getting home from her parents house?" he asked looking out the window.

"Tomorrow sometime. Why? What do you have in mind?" she smiled looking up at him.

"A little of this. A little of that." he whispered, leaning down to kiss her neck.

"Mmm, your son is sound asleep. I... I know I could use a nap too." she groaned turning around in his arms, wrapping her legs around his waist.

"I'm exhausted." he pulled her waist to him, sitting her on his lap.

"Mhm, you are the most irresistible man I've ever known. All you have to do is touch me and I'm like putty in your hands." she smiled wrapping her arms around his neck before leaning in to give him a deep, passionate kiss.

"Good to know." he whispered lifting her up and carrying her into the bedroom to make love.


	74. Chapter 74

_Don't know just where I'm going  
And tomorrow, it's a little overwhelming  
And the air is cold  
And I'm not the same anymore  
I've been running in your direction  
For too long now  
I've lost my own reflection  
And I can't look down  
If you're not there to catch me when I fall._

If this is the moment I stand here on my own  
If this is my rite of passage that somehow leads me home  
I might be afraid  
But it's my turn to be brave  
If this is the last chance before we say goodbye  
At least it's the first day of the rest of my life  
I can't be afraid  
Cause it's my turn to be brave

All along all I ever wanted, was to be the light  
When your life was daunting  
But I can't see mine  
When I feel as though you're pushing me away  
Well who's to blame, are we making the right choices  
Cause we can't be sure if we're hearing our own voices  
As we close the door even though we are so desperate to stay

If this is the moment I stand here on my own  
If this is my rite of passage that somehow leads me home  
I might be afraid  
But it's my turn to be brave  
If this is the last chance before we say goodbye  
At least it's the first day of the rest of my life  
I can't be afraid  
Cause it's my turn to be brave

And I might still cry  
And I might still bleed  
These thorns in my side  
This heart on my sleeve  
And lightening may strike  
This ground at my feet  
And I might still crash  
But I still believe

This is the moment I stand here all alone  
With everything I have inside, everything I own

_I might be afraid  
But it's my turn to be brave  
If this is the last time before we say goodbye  
At least it's the first day of the rest of my life  
I can't be afraid  
Cause it's my turn to be brave_

Jami is sitting at Adam's piano after singing her song. "Tell me you heard that on the radio or something," she tells Adam, looking at her lyrics.

"Not gonna lie to you honey. I've never heard that before. It's beautiful." he smirked at her.

"Damn." she whispered getting up from the bench.

"What's wrong?" he asked confused at her reaction.

"That means I'm a songwriter. I can't believe Roger did this to me." she looked over at him.

"Jami, being a songwriter isn't contagious." he laughed getting up and going into the kitchen.

"Adam, I was a screenwriter when I met him. I was happy being a screenwriter. It was who I was. Who I can't here to be. And now I'm a songwriter. I helped Roger write that song for Davis, but he did most of the work on that one. But this... this one is mine. I was kind of hoping I heard it on the radio or something." she looked over at him nodding as he held up a beer bottle to her.

"Well, I hate to break it to you Jami, but you're a songwriter. And a singer. How did you get away this long not singing? Especially considering who your husband is?" he asked opening her bottle before handing it to her.

"Just lucky, I guess." she smirked taking a long sip of her beer.

"I'm serious honey. When Roger hears this, you're gonna be a real singer." he smiled looking over at her.

"That's what I'm afraid of." she grimaced at the thought. She agreed to sing one song with her husband, but this was a song she wrote on her own. She drank her beer thinking about Roger's reaction when he hears this song.

"We have to record it." he smiled at her.

"How do you propose we do that?" she asked looking over at him.

"We call your husband, have him set a time for us to get into the studio and record that song." he smiled at her.

"No.. no way. I... I don't want him hearing this song. Not... not yet." she set her beer bottle on the counter before walking away from it.

"Why? What are you afraid of? The fact that he's gonna go over the moon for this song and you're gonna be not only on the album, but in the band permanently?" he asked looking over at her.

"Pretty much. I'm... I'm a screenwriter and a mother Adam. I... I can't be a singer." she argued looking over at him.

"Guess what? Like it or not, you're a singer." he smiled at her as she plopped down on the couch.

"Great. You too?" she looked up at him.

"Doesn't that tell you something honey?" he smiled bringing her beer over to her before sitting next to her.

"Yeah, you're all insane." she clutched the bottle before looking up at him.

"Oh honey, as much as you wish we were, we're not. You're very talented Jami. And your husband isn't the only one who thinks so." he smiled reaching over to squeeze her knee.

"Ugh, you all suck." she smirked.

"Yeah, I know." he smiled as they drank their beer.

The following week, Jami and Adam sat in the studio as Roger sat at the control panel. "Whenever you two are ready." he smiled looking over at them.

"Ready honey?" Adam asked as Jami nodded. As the music started Jami took a deep breath and stared straight into her husband's sparkling green eyes. As she began singing, he sat back in his chair. He raised his feet up, resting them on the chair next to him and folded his muscular arms across his chest. The smiled that adorned his face spoke volumes. The pride running through his body seemed to fill the room.

When they completed the song, Roger leaned up and pressed a button, stopping the recording. He sat back heavily, running his hands through is hair, staring at his wife. "Well?" Jami asked taking her headphones off of her head.

"Well, I'm sorry to tell you this Baby, but... you're a songwriter and a singer. An amazing singer." he smiled at her.

"You... you really think so?" she asked looking at him.

"Where... where did you get those lyrics?" he asked getting up from the chair and entering the studio.

"They just came to me." she smiled as Adam smiled at them.

"I should have pushed you sooner. That's better than anything I ever wrote." he chuckled.

"Oh quit it. You just want me to be a songwriter." she laughed looking at him.

"Hate to say this James, but you're already a songwriter." he wrapped his arms around her.

"Ugh, now you're gonna want me to sing more, aren't you?" she groaned looking up at him.

"If you don't, I may have to divorce you." he teased looking down at her.

"How is that fair?" she asked looking up at him.

"How would it be fair of you not to be singing? With a talent like yours, it would be a crime." he smiled kissing her head.

"You suck Davis." she groaned into his chest.

"That's OK. I'm used to it." he chuckled looking over at Adam who simply smiled, realizing everything Collins had been telling him about Roger and Jami since the day they met was right. There was no way they were not soul mates. Every breath each of them took was inspired by the other.

A/N: The lyrics at the beginning of the story are not mine. As much as I wish they were, they belong to the amazing Idina Menzel. Brave is the song, I Stand is the CD and I love it. Idina is absolutely incredible.

Renthead621


	75. Chapter 75

It's been 4 months and Jami's been rehearsing the songs she would be singing with Roger. He had scheduled a performance to take place in a small club in the village, closer to home. Maureen and Heather volunteered to help her pick out her outfit for the performance. Roger is out in the living room playing with his 11 month old son, who is attempting to walk, while Jami is in the bedroom trying on her outfit. She stares at herself in the mirror on the closet door. "James, are you ever coming out here?" he called out.

"No, I'm not." she answered snapping out of her trance.

"Oh come on. I thought you were gonna show me your outfit." he got up from the floor, picking his son up with him.

"Well I'm not." she walked away from the mirror.

"Come on James, let me see." he called out opening the bedroom door. "Wow, you look... um... wow James, you look so sexy." he stammered looking over at her.

"Yeah, I'm not wearing this." she looked up at him.

"Why? What's wrong with that?" he asked walking over to her.

"It's not me Roger. I... I look ridiculous." she looked up at him.

"You do not look ridiculous, you look amazing James. Doesn't mommy look amazing Davis?" he asked as the baby nodded reaching out for his mother.

"Mama mere." he called out as Roger held him in his arms.

"Mommy looks ridiculous. I'm... I'm not a rock chick. I'm just a screen writer who is singing with her husband. I can't believe I let Heather and Maureen talk me into this." she reached out for her son, taking him in her arms.

"Jami, you look great. I don't know why you think you look ridiculous." he walked away for her, plopping on the bed.

"Leather pants and a halter top? Roger, I'm a mother. I should not be wearing this. It's not me." she looked over at him.

"OK, so what are you gonna wear on stage? Because I hate to break it to you, but you go on tomorrow night. You don't have much time to find another outfit." he smiled at her.

"I don't know. But I don't see myself wearing this." she looked down at her leather pants and high heel boots.

"Well I'm seeing you wear it James, and I gotta say, you are hot." he smiled getting up from the bed to stand over her.

"You're only saying that because you're getting your way. Me on stage." she smirked up at him.

"No, I'm saying that because you're one hot chick James. From the first moment I saw you I thought so." he leaned down to kiss her head.

"In my sweats and my hair up in a pony tail?" she giggled looking up at him.

"Yep." he laughed wrapping his arms around his wife and son.

"Ugh, you are a frustrating man." she groaned looking up at him.

"That's what you love about me." he smiled down at her.

"No, that's why you're impossible to live with." she laughed looking over at her son who was playing with her earrings.

"Not my fault my wife is hot." Roger smiled at his son.

"Mama pitty, daddy?" the baby asked as he smiled up at Roger.

"Yeah Davis. Mama is very pretty." he smiled at him, caressing his sons back.

"My boys." Jami smiled at her husband before leaning over to kiss her sons head.

The next afternoon, Jami stood in the shower as water poured down her hair and back. She thought about what was to come that evening. Her first public performance with Roger. Butterflies filled her stomach as she thought about all the nights she stood front row, watching Roger rock to a packed house. She couldn't believe that he had successfully convinced her to join him. He reworked many of his songs to include parts for her. They had been rehearsing for 4 months and she was satisfied that she knew her parts well enough not to make a fool of herself. Maureen's mother was coming into the city to babysit the boys, so Mark and Maureen could stand front row, rooting on their roommates and closest friends. "James, are you ever coming out of there? We gotta get ready to go." Roger asked pounding on the door.

"Yeah, I'm... I'm almost ready. Hang... hang on." she called out coming out of her trance.

"Are you OK James?" he asked entering the bathroom.

"I'm fine Roger. I'm just taking a shower." she told him, looking out from behind the shower curtain.

"Are you nervous?" he asked looking over at her.

"Yeah, I'm really nervous. What if... what if I forget everything we've been rehearsing? What if my halter top falls down? What if I fall off of my boots? You know I'm not good at walking in heels." she said looking over at him.

"James, you're gonna be great. You're not gonna fall off of your boots, your top is not gonna fall down and trust me, you're not gonna forget anything we rehearsed. You're ready, trust me." he smiled sitting on the closed toilet lid.

"Fine, but if I fall flat on my face, it's on your head." she smirked going back under the water.

"I'll take my chances." he laughed getting up to leave the bathroom.

Later that night, Roger, Jami and the band stood back stage as patrons filed into the club. Jami looked out from behind the curtain, watching the crowd grow. Maureen, Mark, Heather, Noah, Chris, Doug, Mrs. Davis, Mrs. Barnett and a bunch of the Barnett brothers stood by the stage laughing. "I can't believe all these people." Jami said looking up at Roger who was standing behind her, looking over her shoulder.

"Guess they had nothing better to do on a Saturday night but come and hear the greatest singer in the world." he smiled kissing her head.

"Greatest singer in the world. A little cocky there, are you big boy?" she laughed looking up at him.

"I was talking about you Baby. You're gonna rock this place apart." he smiled looking down into her blue eyes.

"Now I know you've lost it." she turned around looking up at him.

"Nope, just confident of my wife's abilities." he smiled walking away from her.

"You suck Davis." she yelled looking over at him.

"I'm used to it." he yelled as he and the other band members laughed.

"Ugh, why did I agree to this?" she asked quietly pacing around backstage.

"Because you're a talented singer James." Mrs. Barnett smiled at her daughter.

"Mama, what are you doing back here?" she asked pulling up her halter top, which was showing too much cleavage.

"You look like a rock star." she smiled fluffing her daughters hair.

"Mama, I'm a screenwriter and a mother. I'm not a rock star." she said looking over at her.

"You're a great singer Jami. I heard you. You belong here." she smiled at her.

"You heard? Roger, did you send my mother a copy of my CD?" she asked looking back at her husband.

"Um... yeah." he answered cautiously.

"Ugh, I wonder if there's anyone he didn't send that damn CD to." she looked over at her mother.

"He's proud of you James. There's nothing wrong with your husband being proud of you." she smiled at her.

"I know mama, it's just... I never wanted to be a rock singer. I just wanted to be a screenwriter. He was the rock star. Then I started writing songs and he insisted that I be the one to sing them, so I indulged him. How was I supposed to know that I was that good?" she folded her arms across her chest.

"Jami, you're HIV positive. You should be accomplishing everything you possibly can, while you're here." Mrs. Barnett smiled at her.

"But mama, I'm not..." she started when her mother interrupted her.

"You are that good Jami. You should be proud of yourself. I am." she smiled at her.

"Mama, I'm doing so much more than I ever thought I could do, you know? I mean, you and papa had a whole different way of life. Not... not this. It's a miracle I got out and did what I wanted to do. The... the screen writing... living on my own, meeting Roger. None of that should have happened, but it did. Now I'm a... a singer. It's just... it's kind of wild, huh?" she smiled at her mother.

"Papa would be so proud of you Jami. You accomplished so much more than we taught you that you could. You did it on your own." she smiled at her.

"Thanks mama." she smiled hugging her mother.

"Baby, I... I hate to interrupt, but we have to go on." Roger smiled at them.

"OK, now you go out there and do what you gotta do to give these people a show. Just know that I'm proud of you." Mrs. Barnett smiled at her daughter.

"Thank you mama. That means so much to me." she smiled looking up at her husband who had his arm around her waist.

"Rock the house." Mrs. Barnett smiled looking up at Roger and the rest of the band before going back out to the crowd.

"Did... did my mother just say rock the house?" she laughed looking up at Roger.

"Yep." Roger laughed kissing her head. "We gotta go on." he smiled as the band started taking their positions on the stage.


	76. Chapter 76

4 years later. Davis is a happy, healthy 4 and a half year old. He's going to half day preschool. Michael is in kindergarten. Jami and Mark are filming her screen play based on Roger's life. Roger's band is touring and thriving. Jami only sings with them when they're playing in the city. Roger was on tour when he started feeling sick. His breather was labored, he had a fever and he was coughing and wheezing. He went to the doctor and was diagnosed with PCP and his CD4 count had fell close to 200. he didn't want to tell Jami, but he cut the tour short. He doesn't want to spend anymore time away from his wife and son, since his time is drawing to a close.

Jami is cleaning things up in the kitchen after dropping Davis off at school and Mark and Maureen are at the museum with Michael on a field trip when Roger arrives home 2 months earlier than he's supposed to be. "Baby, I'm home." he smiled walking in the door.

"Roger what... what are you doing home? You're not supposed to be home for another 2 months." she asked rushing over to him.

"I... I missed you Baby." he told her, holding her tight in his arms. She could tell he was holding back.

"Roger, what's the matter?" she asked sensing his tone.

"We... we need to talk." he stuttered looking down at her. He took her hand and brought her into their bedroom.

"What are you doing home Roger?" she asks getting him alone in their bedroom.

"I'm sick James." he looks over at her.

"You're... um... when?" she stutters, plopping down on their bed.

"Last week. I wanted to come home then, but I had to finish up in Chicago." he sat next to her on their bed.

"How... how long?" she asked holding back tears.

"I don't know Baby. Could be 6 months, could be 4 years. It depends on how the PCP progresses." he explained putting his around her shoulders. "I'm so sorry James." he apologized.

"6... um... how... how could this be happening to us? You're finally getting what you've wanted since you were 12 and I'm finally filming your screen play. How... how could you be sick?" she asked tilting her head to look into his eyes. Tears spilling from hers.

"I'm... I'm so sorry James. I... I never meant to do this to you." he whispered taking her face in his hands.

"I... I guess now that we know, there's... there's nothing else to do but... but cherish the time we've had, huh?" she cried as he leaned his forehead against hers.

"It's not enough time James." he cried with her.

"An eternity wouldn't be enough time Roger. Not for us." she wrapped her arms around him burying her face in the crook of his neck.

"I'm so sorry James." he whispered caressing her hair.

"Don't... don't be. I'm... I'm not. This has been the most amazing ride." she pulled back, smiling through her tears.

"I love you so much James. Never doubt that."

"Not for a second Roger. Not one." she smiled before being pulled into a loving embrace.

"Davis. What... what are we gonna tell Davis?" he asked looking down at her.

"Oh my god. My poor little baby. He's just a little boy. He... he worships you Roger." she cried looking up at him.

"I guess Mark's gonna have to step into my shoes sooner than we expected."

"No one could fill your shoes to that little boy. You're his world." she cried.

"What time does he get out of school?" he asked wiping his face with his hands.

"I... I have to leave here at noon... he... he gets out at a quarter after." she explained wiping her own face.

"I'll go. I... I missed him." he looked down at her.

"He'll like that. He missed you too."

"Yeah, the phone's just not the same as being here, you know?" he smiled at her.

"Yeah, I know."

"I was thinking after he goes to bed, you and me could go out for a late dinner. Just you and me." he suggested.

"Sure Roger. we... we could do that." she told him holding back tears.

"It's gonna be OK James. You have to believe that." he insisted looking down at her.

"How? How is this possibly gonna be OK? I'm gonna lose you sooner than I should and you're telling me that everything's gonna be OK? No, you don't get to tell me everything's gonna be OK, not now." she yelled losing her composure again.

"I'm so sorry James. Dammit, this is what I didn't want to do to you. Hurt you. But I fell for you. I... I couldn't help but fall for you." he cried looking over at her.

"But you did, and now I'm gonna be widow before I'm 30." she yelled looking over at him.

"James, I'm... " he started before reaching out for her.

"I... I need to get out of here Roger. I... I need to be alone. Don't forget to pick up the baby at a quarter after 12." she tried to calm down, as she rushing out the door. Roger just sat on the bed letting his wife go.

"Dammit James. Why did I have to be so stupid?" he cried as he lay on the bed clutching his pillow.

When Jami stopped running, she was on the corner of 11th and Avenue A. She looked around not knowing where she was going. She was crying so hard, she could barely catch her breath. She ran up the block towards Collins and Adam's apartment. When she got there, she knocked on the door, waiting for them to answer. She tried to calm herself down, but the more she tried, the less she could. When Adam opened the door, he looked down at Jami and noticed her disheveled appearance. "What happened Jami? Is it Davis?" he asked holding her arms.

"Roger, he's... he's home and he's dying on me. The bastard has the nerve to be dying on me. He makes me fall in love with him and gives me a family and now he's dying on me." she cried looking up at him.

"Oh honey, come on in. Tom will be home for lunch soon." he wrapped his arms around her and brought her into the apartment.

She looked over at the piano and remembered the song she penned for him. "He's everywhere Adam. He's a part of me. A part of who I am and now he comes home and tells me that he's dying. 6 months, four years... it doesn't matter. We've been together 6 years and it's not enough." she cried looking up at him.

"I'm so sorry honey." he whispered holding her in his arms.

"And now my son is gonna have to grow up without his father. How is that fair? Can someone tell me how that's fair?" she yelled into his chest as she held on tightly to the back of his shirt.

"That boy will never be without his father Jami. His father will always be with him. He will always be a part of you and him. Nothing can ever take him away from you." he insisted soothing her back.

"He's... leaving me Adam. He... swore he would never... leave me and now he is. What am I... gonna do without him... in my life?" she cried harder. Unable to catch her breath.

"Sit down honey. You need to calm down. You're hyperventilating." he brought her over to the couch to try to calm her down.

"Why... why now? He's... he's getting... everything... he ever wanted." she cried looking up at him.

"I don't know honey. I just don't know." he looked down at her before bringing her to him again. As he comforted her, there was a knock at the door.

"That's him." she cried looking up at him.

"I'm gonna answer the door honey, OK? If it's your husband, you have to talk to him. You need to talk to him." he looked down at her as she nodded. She wiped her face with her sleeves before curling up on the couch. Adam gave her back one more comforting caress before getting up and opening the door. It was indeed Roger.

"Is... is James here?" he asked quietly. Adam could tell he'd been crying too. "How is she?"

"I think you know Roger." He opened the door wider, pointing him in the direction of the couch, where Jami was lying hugging a pillow. "I'm... I'm sorry Rog. Really." Adam told him quietly as Roger nodded and entered the apartment.

"James." he called out, rushing to his wife's side.

"How... how is this happening to us?' she asked looking up at him.

"We're positive James. It had to happen eventually." he collected her into his arms and held her to him.

"I'm next, aren't I?" she cried looking up at him.

"Not too soon., OK? Our son needs you." he whispered rocking her back and forth.

"He needs you too." her body shook as she cried in his loving arms. He nodded in agreement, rocking her back and forth. Kissing her head repeatedly.


	77. Chapter 77

Later that morning, Collins arrived home for lunch, seeing Roger and Jami curled up on the couch. They sat up and filled him in on what was going on. Collins looked at his friends, sympathetically. As it neared noon, Roger had agreed that Jami should stay with Adam and Collins so she could calm down while he went to go pick Davis up from school. She was still very shaken up after hearing the news that her husband was sick. "Take care of my girl, OK? I'll... I'll be back when I can." he looked over at them, as they stood out in the hallway.

"No problem man. She can stay as long as she needs. Just take care of the little man." Collins smiled at him.

"Yeah, I... I was gonna wait until Jami was there to tell him, but I think maybe I should tell him now." he looked up at him.

"Maybe you should wait for Jami to be there. I mean, he's not gonna really understand what that means. He's gonna need both of you there." he looked down at him.

"Do you really see Jami making this less scary for him? She's in no shape to hear me say the words again." he ran his fingers through his hair in frustration.

"She'll get better Roger. You know Jami. She's a strong lady. She just needs to process it and come to terms with this. As soon as she accepts it, she'll be OK." Adam looked over at him.

"I hope so. I... I don't want to spend the last months of my life with my wife like this. Especially since I did the same thing to her." he looked over at him.

"You didn't do anything but love me Roger." she spoke quietly as she stood in the doorway of the apartment.

"But you're positive and hurting James and I... I did it to you." he looked down at her.

"I'll... I'll be OK. Just... don't tell him yet, OK. He's only a little boy. He... he won't understand any of this." she looked up at him, holding back tears.

"OK James. I... I won't tell him. But what am I gonna tell him when he sees me? He knows I'm not supposed to be home yet." he looked over at her.

"Just tell him that you wanted to surprise us, OK? Just don't tell him this, OK? Please?" she asked looking up at him.

"OK James. I won't tell him." he took her in his arms. "I... I gotta go now if I'm gonna get to the school by a quarter after." he whispered looking down at her. "Are you gonna be OK?" he asked.

"Yeah, I'll... I'll be OK. I'll be home soon. Just make him a tuna fish sandwich when he gets home, OK? And he likes fruit punch and a small handful of potato chips with his lunch." she looked up at him.

"OK Baby. I'll... I'll see you later." he leaned down to kiss her.

"OK, I'll see you later." she told him quietly.

"I love you James." he whispered, holding her face in his hands.

"I love you too Roger." she smiled looking up into his green eyes. He kissed her one more time before leaving to pick his son up from school.

"Are you OK beautiful?" Collins asked putting his arms around her as if to hold her up.

"No. I'm losing the love of my life." she held back tears before burying her face in his chest.

"Come on, let's go inside." he helped her into the apartment. He laid her down on the couch and comforted her. Soon she was asleep. He got up gently before going into the bedroom. Adam was sitting on the bed next to the phone. "I... I should probably call the university to tell them I'm not gonna be able to come back in." he told him quietly.

"I already did." he told him quietly, staring at the phone.

"Are you OK?" he asked sitting gently next to him.

"Yeah, um... I... I should make some tea. It'll calm her." he said before getting up.

"Adam..." Collins called out quietly reaching up for his boyfriends hand.

"I'm fine Tom. Jami... um... Jami needs us right now." he cleared his throat before leaving the room.

"Adam, my... my CD4 count is 526. I'm OK." he looked over at him.

"Yeah well, Roger was OK and now he's not." he looked over at him before leaving the room. He looked over at Jami, who was sleeping on the couch before continuing on to the kitchen.

At the preschool, Roger stood at the gate waiting for his son to come out. When the doors opened, little children began exiting, rushing to their mothers, who waited for them. When Davis came out, he looked around for Jami. He caught a glimpse of his father before rushing over to him. "Daddy, what are you doing here? Where's mommy?" he asked running into his father's arms.

"She's with Uncle Collins and Uncle Adam. It's just you and me today buddy." he smiled picking his son up in his arms.

"But you're supposed to be away. Mommy said you wouldn't be home for a while. How come you're back?" he asked looking at him.

"I missed you and mommy and I wanted to pick you up from school." he smiled looking up at him son.

"Me and mommy missed you too." he smiled hugging his father around his neck.

"I know buddy." he smiled holding back tears. He leaned over to kiss his sons head before pulling back. "How about we go home and have tuna fish sandwiches?" he smiled looking over at him.

"Yeah, I'm hungry. Mommy gives me chips and juice too." he smiled at him.

"I know, she told me. Do you have any homework?" he asked looking up at him.

"Daddy, it's preschool. We don't get homework." he giggled looking down at his father.

"Preschool? I thought this was the high school." he joked letting his son down.

"I'm not big enough to go to high school daddy." he laughed holding his father's hand.

"Are you sure? You're getting pretty big kiddo." he laughed looking down at him.

"Not that big." he smiled at his father as they walked home from school.

"Any girlfriends you wanna tell me about?" he asked looking down at his son.

"Girls are icky daddy. Except mommy." he laughed looking up at his father.

"No, mommy's not icky." Roger smiled as he held on to Davis' hand tight. "So how are things with Uncle Mark, Aunt Maureen and Michael?" he asked looking down at him making small talk.

"Good. Uncle Mark and mommy are making your movie and Aunt Maureen, Michael and me go to the park a lot. And Grandma and Nana come over a lot too." he smiled at him.

"Sounds like everyone's having fun." he smiled.

"Not at night. Mommy misses you a lot. She listens to you sing all the time on her radio." he looked up at him.

"I missed mommy a lot too. Mommy is really special." he looked down at his son.

"Are you gonna take mommy with you now?" he asked.

"I don't know buddy. Why do you ask?"

"Because Aunt Maureen said that mommy sang with you once and that she should do it again. Then she sings me my song and tells me how you and her wrote it for me and she smiles a lot." he smiled.

"Yeah, she was amazing. She still is. Mommy is the most amazing lady in the world. I'm glad you take care of her for me when I'm not here." Roger smiled as they approached the building.

"You told me to daddy. I always do what you tell me to." Davis smiled up at him as he climbed the stairs to enter the building. Roger staring at him before following him up the stairs.

Back at Collins and Adam's apartment, they were sitting in the kitchen drinking tea. Collins held Adam's hand across the table. "Should we call Roger to check on him and Davis?" Adam asked looking up at him.

"Nah, he's been away from his boy for 6 months. He could use some time alone with him. Give them some more time." Collins smiled at him.

"I'm worried about Jami. When she came here to tell me about Roger, she was inconsolable. I was afraid she was gonna hyperventilate. She was crying so hard." Adam told him.

"Well with Roger sick, you have to expect that. They breathe for each other. They eloped right before she and Mark were leaving on tour for their movie, then again a few months later in front of the rest of us. They've... they've been through a lot." he looked over at him.

"And now they have this." Adam told him somberly before looking down into his tea cup.

"I'm gonna go check on Jami. I'll be right back." Collins told him getting up from his chair.

"OK." Adam looked up at him. When Collins came entered the living room, Jami was sitting up on the couch. Hugging her legs to her chest.

"Hey beautiful. How did you sleep?" he asked walking over to her.

"OK I guess. I was kind of hoping that it was all a nightmare, but then I woke up here and... I guess it's not." she looked up at him.

"Sorry sweetie." he sat next to her putting his arm around her shoulders.

"I'm sorry you had to stay home to make sure I was OK. I... I didn't mean to disrupt your day." she apologized looking up at him.

"Eh, I don't mind. I could use some time off anyway." he smiled down at her.

"Um... did Roger call?" she asked looking up at him.

"No sweetie, he didn't. I guess he's spending time with his little man. He missed that kid like crazy."

"He missed him too. That kid worships his father." she said looking up at him holding back tears.

"That will never change Jami. Davis will have memories of his father and he will know that his father was a good man who loved him more than anything." he looked over at her.

"But he's just a little boy. All he's gonna know is that Roger's gonna leave and never come back and he's not gonna understand why." she told him, as tears leaked from her eyes.

"I don't understand why and I'm a grown man." he looked over at her.

"Yeah, I... I know what you mean." she agreed before laying her head on his shoulder. "I better get cleaned up. I have to get home. Mark, Maureen and Michael should be home soon and Davis is gonna wonder where I am." she started to get up from the couch.

"You know we're here when you need us, right?" he asked looking up at her.

"Yeah, I know. Thanks." she gave him a faint smile before going into the bathroom and shutting the door.


	78. Chapter 78

When Jami got home, she quietly opened and closed the door behind her. She heard guitar playing coming from her sons room and he was singing along with Roger. She stood outside the door, listening to her boys singing together. Tears began to well up in her throat. She swallowed hard before stepping into the doorway to make her presence known. "You boys sounded great." she smiled folding her arms across her chest.

"Mommy!!" the young boy called out, jumping off of the bed to run to her.

"Hey my baby boy. Did you and daddy have a good day?" she smiled kneeling down to hug her son before picking him up.

"Yeah, daddy surprised me. You said he wouldn't be home for a while." he smiled looking down at her.

"He surprised me too. He came home after I took you to school this morning. I wanted to spend the day with my guys, but I had to help Uncle Collins and Uncle Adam with something." she lied looking into her sons eyes.

"Daddy made huge tuna fish sandwiches and we had potato chips and juice like you and me have." he smiled excitedly at her.

"Oh yeah? Did you eat your whole sandwich?" she asked looking over at him.

"Mhm, daddy put pickles in it and it was really good." he smiled at her.

"Daddy didn't show me that trick." she smiled at Roger.

"Just a little relish. My dad used to make it that way." he smiled at her.

"Guess I still have a lot to learn from daddy, huh?" she smiled at her son.

"A guys gotta keep some secrets." Roger smiled getting up to go to his wife and son.

"You're gonna have to show me that little trick." she smiled up at him.

"I promise. I'll teach you everything I know." he smiled kissing her head.

"Daddy said he was gonna make a special dinner tonight." Davis told her.

"Good. I missed daddy's cooking." Jami looked up at Roger. "Why don't you play for a little while until Michael gets home sweetie? Me and daddy are gonna go in our room and talk, OK?" she put the young boy down.

"OK mommy." he rushed towards his toy box to play with his toys.

"Is everything OK James?" Roger asked as they entered their bedroom.

"No, but I... I think I'm as OK as I'm gonna be right now." she looked up at him.

"I didn't tell him anything Baby. I lied to him, and you know how much I hate doing that, but I didn't tell him anything." he looked over at her.

"I'm sorry you had to do that, but he's only a little boy. I don't even understand what's going on at this point and I'm an adult with HIV." she looked over at him.

"I know James." he reached out and took her in his arms.

"I don't want to spend the rest of our time in mourning. We should be doing more with that time." she looked over at her.

"What did you have in mind?" he asked looking down at her.

"Singing together. Maybe we can all go on tour. You know, to finish up what you walked out on." she smirked up at him.

"What about Davis and school?" he asked.

"He can come with us. It's only preschool and it's only gonna be for 2 months. We can do this Roger." she looked up at him.

"And what about your screen play? You and Mark are in the middle of filming it." he asked letting go of her to sit on the bed.

"That can wait Roger. It's only 2 months and I really want to do this. It'll be fun. You and me singing together like you wanted and we can get someone to come with us to keep an eye on Davis while we're performing." she looked down at him.

"I don't know James, I... I'm not comfortable letting you ditch your screen play to go on tour with me. Your screen play is what you wanted to do. It's important to you." he looked up at her.

"Being with you is important to me too. I... I don't want to lose you without doing this with you." she sat next to him on the bed.

"But you're a screen writer James. This screen play means everything to you." he reached over to take her hand.

"I loved being up there with you Roger. Doing what you love. The energy, the whole process was just... freeing for me. I wanna do it. I want us to do it. Please." she argued looking into his green eyes.

"How would this work exactly?" he asked looking over at her.

"We take Davis out of school for 2 months, then we call around and see if my mother or someone wants to come with us to watch Davis and we can finish your tour. I'm sure all those people who bought tickets to your shows are gonna be very disappointed if you cancel on them. I know I would be." she smiled at him.

"I would never cancel on you Baby. You're the most important person in my life. You and Davis." he squeezed her hand tight.

"I know, but these are your fans. You worked really had to get fans. You shouldn't let them down." she smiled at him.

"OK James, you win. We'll go on tour. The next show is supposed to be in Cleveland next week." he smiled at her.

"Call the record company and set it up." she leaned over to kiss his soft lips.

"Why don't you go in and tell Davis while I call the record company?" he smiled at her.

"Are you sure you don't want to?" she smiled at him.

"Nah, it was your idea, you should get the glory." he smiled at her. "He's gonna be so excited."

"Excited is not the word. He's gonna be giddy. He's going on tour with mommy and daddy." she smiled excitedly wrapping her arms around him.

"I love you James. Thank you." he whispered holding her close to him.

"You're my husband Roger, I love you so much and that means doing anything for you. Even this." she smiled at him. She got up to go to her sons room while Roger went to the phone in the living room. She stood in her sons doorway. "Hey kiddo. Can I come in?" she asked watching him play with is building blocks.

"Hi mommy. Are you and daddy done being alone?" he asked looking up from his toys.

"You should know by now little man, we're never done being alone." she chuckled entering his room.

"Where's daddy? Is he making dinner?" he asked.

"Not yet sweetie. It's too early. Uncle Mark, Aunt Maureen and Michael aren't even home yet." she smiled at him. "I wanted to talk to you about something else, can you come up here a second?" she asked sitting on his bed.

"What's the matter mommy?" he asked sitting on his bed.

"Daddy and I were talking and I want to go on tour with daddy and the band." she looked down at him.

"Am I gonna go too?" he asked smiling.

"Of course you're gonna go too. We would never leave you here." she smiled at him.

"What about school? I'm gonna miss school, aren't I?" he asked.

"But you'd go on tour with mommy and daddy. And maybe Uncle Doug. Won't that be exciting?" she asked.

"Uncle Doug is gonna come?"

"Either him or Nana. Would you like that?" she asked looking down at him.

"That would be so cool. Would I get to see you sing with daddy?" he asked looking up at her.

"Rehearsals only. The other shows are gonna be past your bedtime." she put her arm around her sons back.

"Cool." he told her excitedly as Roger appeared in the doorway.

"Well?" she looked up at him.

"They said it's better than canceling the other dates." he smiled at her.

"This is gonna be amazing. You and me on that stage together. I can't wait." Jami jumped up to go to him, diving into his arms.

"Remember this day Davis. Your mom doesn't get this excited about going on stage." Roger laughed looking over at his son.

"Oh stop it. I love singing with you." she smiled at Roger.

"Daddy, can I hear you and mommy singing together?" Davis asked looking over at his happy parents.

"Sure buddy. You can do anything you want." Roger smiled at him.

"Thank you daddy." Davis smiled as Roger held Jami in his arms.


	79. Chapter 79

It was 4:00 when Mark, Maureen and Michael returned from school. They entered the loft to see Roger in the kitchen starting dinner as Jami and Davis sat on the couch reading a book. "Uncle Roger." Michael called out rushing over him.

"Hey kid. How was your school trip?" he asked stepping out from behind the counter to pick up his 5 year old nephew.

"Awesome. We saw the big dinosaurs and everything." he smiled as he hugged his uncle.

"Roger, what are you doing home?" Maureen asked as Mark looked at his friend stunned.

"I have a week until I have to go to Cleveland, so I thought I'd come home and see my family." he smiled looking over at Mark who looked uneasy.

"It's good to see you home." she smiled rushing over to hug him.

"I'm making dinner, so I hope you're all hungry." he smiled.

"Famished." Maureen smiled as Mark finally began approaching them.

"Rog, can I talk to you a minute?" Mark asked quietly.

"Why don't you boys go and play? I gotta catch up with everyone, OK?" Roger smiled at the boys.

"OK Uncle Roger. Come on Davis, let's go play dinosaurs." Michael called out as the boys ran into Michael's room on the other side of the loft.

"What's going on Roger? What are you doing home?" Mark asked point blank.

"I was diagnosed with PCP last week. My... my CD4 count is just above 200." he looked over at Mark.

"What... what does that mean? Mark?" Maureen asked looking over at him.

"It means he's done." Mark exhaled before walking towards the window seat.

"I'm on meds for the PCP, but depending on the progression of the PCP, we don't know how long." Roger looked over at him as Jami sat on the couch silently.

"Depending on the progression, great. You're depending on the progression of a disease that's dangerous with your HIV status." Mark snorted, staring out the window.

"How long?" Maureen asked holding back tears.

"They don't know exactly. Could be as little as 6 months or as much as 4 years." Roger looked down at her.

"So you're home for good?" Maureen asked looking up at him.

"Not exactly. I'm... I'm going back next week." he looked over at Jami, who had yet to move.

"You mean to tell me, you're dying and you're leaving your family?" Mark asked quietly, walking over to him.

"We're going with him." Jami broke her silence.

"You're... how do you propose to do that Jami? You have a 4 year old who goes to school." Mark asked standing in front of Roger.

"We're taking him out of school and Doug is gonna come with us to keep an eye on him while we're performing." she got up from the couch to join Roger in the kitchen.

"That's a nice fantasy Jami, but how realistic is it to take a 4 year old on a tour bus?" he asked looking over at her.

"We want to spend as much time with Roger as we can, while we can. I thought you of all people would understand." she looked up at him.

"I do understand Jami, but maybe you should let Davis stay here with us so you and Roger could go and sing together." Mark suggested looking over at him.

"No, I'm not leaving my son home. The whole point in us going is to spend time with Roger. I'm not leaving him here." she looked over at him.

"She's right Mark. It's better if they take him with them. If something happens to Roger, it'll be easier if he's there. So he could understand what's going on." Maureen told Mark, fighting her tears.

"That's my point Maureen. Why should that little boy have to see his father get sick? We watched Angel get sick and it wasn't pretty. That's not something a little boy should have to see." Mark told her trying to keep his voice down, so the boys wouldn't hear him.

"But he would understand it better if he saw it. It beats being told his father is sick without him seeing it for himself. He's just a little boy Mark. He doesn't understand the words like we do." Jami looked over at Mark, clearly upset.

"I guess your his mother, so you're gonna do what you're gonna do. I can't stop you." Mark started to walk away from her.

"Mark, that's not fair. I don't know what the right thing to do in this situation is. All I know is that If Roger's sick, he should be spending his time with his family." she raised her voice slightly.

"Than he should stay home." he called out over his shoulder before going into his room, shutting the door.

"I'm... I'm sorry Roger. He's just upset." Maureen explained looking up at Roger.

"Yeah, I... I know Maureen. Thanks." he looked down at her.

"I need some air. Can you keep an eye on Davis for me?" Jami asked looking over at Maureen.

"Sure honey. They'll be fine." Maureen looked over at her as she took her coat off of the hook next to the door. "Should you go with her?" she looked up at Roger.

"Yeah, can you..." he started as she interrupted him.

"I'll stir the sauce. Don't worry." she smiled looking up at him as he rushed out the door. He looked down the stairs, but didn't see Jami. He heard the door to the roof shut from above him. He looked up the stairs before rushing up. When he opened the door, Jami was standing by the edge, looked at the New York sky.

"Baby." he called out quietly.

"Who the hell does Mark think he is? He thinks he knows what's best for my son more than I do." she looked over the edge, with her hands shoved in her pockets.

"He's only looking out for Davis. That's the reason I want him and Maureen raising him if anything were to happen to us." he came up behind her, wrapping his arms around her shoulders.

"Maybe he's right. I mean, you remember what it was like when Angel was sick. It was horrible. You said it yourself. That's not something I want my son to witness." she stared over the ledge.

"Baby, do you want to take Davis with us?" he asked turning her around in his arms.

"Yeah, I... I don't want to be without my little boy." she looked into his eyes as tears stung her eyes.

"Then we'll take him with us. It's as easy as that. And everything is gonna be fine. You'll see." he smiled leaning down to kiss her.

"I... I better go down to apologize to Mark, and you have to finish dinner." she looked up at him.

"Are you OK Baby?" he looked down into her blue eyes.

"Yeah, I'm... I'm OK. I promise." she leaned up to kiss him before wrapping her arms around him.

"Why don't we hang out here for a while? Just you and me." he smiled holding her around her waist.

"I'd love that." she smiled leaning her head against his strong chest.

"You know, even if I hadn't gotten sick, I'd have come home for week anyway. I missed you and Davis so much." he caressed her hair.

"I missed you too Roger. Especially at night. I hate sleeping alone." she looked up at him.

"Even my snoring?" he asked looking down at her.

"Especially your snoring. It's become like a lullaby to me." she smiled looking up at him.

"Yeah, remember that tonight when your elbowing me in the back to get me to shut up." he laughed looking down at her.

"I won't do that. I'll probably be up all night listening to you." she leaned up to kiss his tender lips.

"You still need to take care of yourself James." he looked down into her blue eyes.

"I know. I just haven't had my husband home in 6 months. I missed sleeping next to him." she reached up to caress his face.

"I know James." he kissed her before holding her close to him.


	80. Chapter 80

Roger went to his doctor for some routine blood work. He wanted to get a check up before leaving for the tour. While he was at the doctor, Jami and Maureen went shopping for some stage outfits for Jami to wear. "I can't believe you wanted to go on tour with Roger. You were so freaked out when it was only a small club and now you're willing to play huge arenas." Maureen laughed looking over at Jami.

"Tell me about it. I couldn't believe it when the words came out of my mouth." she laughed looking over at her.

"Yeah, I figured you didn't even think about it when you said it." she smiled looking at a window display.

"Pretty much." she smiled before looking in the window. "That's an awesome outfit."

"Why don't you try it on?" she looked at her.

"Are you kidding? It's not me. It's too... glitzy." she laughed folding her arms across her chest.

"It is not. It's perfect. Just try it on."

"Fine, but if I look ridiculous you better tell me." she pointed at her before going into the store.

"Deal." Maureen agreed happily following her friend.

The following week, Roger went back to the doctor for his results after dropping Davis off at school. Jami stayed home to pack for the tour. Roger sat in the doctor's office, waiting to be seen. He tapped his fingers on the arm of the chair. There was a pile of magazines sitting on the table next to him. Parenting magazines, women's magazines and nature magazines. "Mr. Davis, the doctor will see you now." the nurse called out looking in his direction.

"Thank you." he smiled getting up and following her to the doctors office. He sat in the chair on the other side of the desk.

"The doctor will be in in a minute." she smiled before closing the door behind her. He propped his calf up on his knee, getting comfortable. Suddenly the door opened and a young man entered the office.

"Roger, it's nice to see you're back." he smiled before sitting at his desk.

"Yeah, not really back. Just made a stop over before Cleveland. I had a week off, so I thought I'd come home to my family." he smiled at him.

"And to tell your wife that you were diagnosed with PCP, I see." he looked down at a file folder.

"Yeah, something like that." he looked up at him, his smile had faded.

"I see your CD4 level was 234 a couple of weeks ago. The TMP and SMX seems to be working. Your CD4 count is now up to 467. It looks like one more week of your treatment and you'll probably be within normal range." he smiled at him.

"Does... does that mean, it's gone?" he asked looking over at him.

"Not gone, more like in remission. I'm gonna want you to finish up your prescription. Then I want you to take a pill every couple of days from now on. Just to make sure it doesn't come back." he smiled at him.

"So, I'm not dying?" he asked looking over at him.

"Not now." he smiled at him.

"Thank God. Thank God. I... I was so scared. The other doctor said... Um, thank you. Thank you so much doc. I appreciate this. James is gonna flip out over this news. We were so scared." he looked over at him, excitedly.

"PCP is a scary diagnosis, but in this day and age, it's doesn't have to be. I'm sure the other doctor explained to you that if the antibiotics don't work and your CD4 level keeps plummeting, that wouldn't be a good thing." he looked over at him.

"To be honest with you, I heard bits and pieces of what he said. I mean, I heard PCP and then there's no way to tell how long I have and... I guess I overreacted, huh?" he looked over at him.

"Not overreacted, just got scared. It's totally normal." he smiled at him.

"Thank you doctor." Roger smiled at him. They continued talking before the doctor gave him a new prescription and Roger left the office. He was anxious to get home and tell Jami that it was a false alarm. That he was gonna be fine. With each step he took, he walked faster until he was running. When he got home he opened the door rushing into his and Jami's bedroom. She was going through the closet. She turned around, seeing her husband standing in the bedroom.

"What's the matter Roger? What did the doctor say?" she asked concerned that he had yet to speak.

"I'm OK." he smiled looking over at her.

"What do you mean you're OK? Are your t-cells the same?" she asked confused.

"No, they're higher. It's almost gone. I'm gonna be fine." he called out excitedly, rushing up to pick her up.

"What do you mean? I... I don't understand." she looked over at him.

"I'm not dying James. The infection is almost gone. My t-cells are almost back to normal." he smiled leaning in to kiss her.

"You're not... your OK now?" she asked holding back tears.

"Yeah James. I'm gonna be OK." he set her down.

"But... how? I... I don't understand." she looked up at him as tears rolled down her face.

"I'm in remission. I have to keep taking antibiotics, like every couple of days, so it doesn't come back but I'm gonna be OK. I... I thought you'd be happy." he reached up to caress her face.

"I... I am, it's just... I thought you were dying Roger. I... I thought you were leaving us." she cried looking up at him.

"No James. I'm not dying. What the other doctor told me was in case I didn't respond to the antibiotics. But I did. I'm gonna be fine." he looked down into her blue eyes.

"This is amazing news Roger." she held him close to her.

"Do you still want to go on tour with me?" he asked looking down at her.

"Of course I do. I can't wait to get up on that stage with you. And I can't wait to show you all my sexy rock chick outfits." she smiled looking seductively in his eyes.

"How about we go out and celebrate? Davis won't be out of school for another 3 hours. It can be just you and me." he smiled looking down at her.

"I have to pack Roger." she whined looking up at him.

"So what, leave it. I'm not dying. I think that's a damn good reason to celebrate." he told her happily, he was almost giddy.

"OK. Let's go out to breakfast." she smiled looking into his vibrant green eyes. They seemed to have a new sparkle since the last time she looked into them. Just before he left to take their son to school that morning. He let go of her before digging into his pocket for his cell phone. "Who are you calling?" she asked looking over at him.

"Collins and Adam and then I figured I could look for Mark and Maureen. We can make it a group activity." he smiled holding his cell phone in his hand.

"Great idea." she smiled enjoying how happy her husband was. She had seen him happy, but not like this. He had his life flash before his eyes and now it was given back to him. It was an incredible gift.

At the cafe, everyone sat and enjoyed the news of Roger's recovery. They were eating pancakes, eggs, bacon, sausage, toast and anything else they could order off of the breakfast menu. Jami was happy, but Roger could tell she was still a bit troubled. "Baby, do you wanna come help me pick out some music?" he asked leaning over to her.

"I'm fine Roger." she looked up at him.

"Come on. I wanna play some music for my girl." he smiled taking her hand before kissing it tenderly as she got up to follow him to the juke box.

"Roger I'm... I'm fine." she insisted looking up at him.

"No, you're not James. I've been watching you. What's the matter?" he asked leaning against the juke box.

"Nothing, just... I... I don't know. I mean, you're fine now, but what about when you're not. You... you can't be fine forever. We're gonna have to go through this again eventually and it's gonna be for real then." she looked up at him.

"So what do you wanna do about it?" he asked folding his arms across his chest.

"I wanna live our lives like that day is here. Every day until it is." she looked up at him.

"And?" he asked smirking at her.

"I want Mark to finish your film and I wanna be with you. No matter where it takes us." she looked up at him.

"But I thought the film was important to you? I don't want you to give up on it just to be with me. I think you should do whatever you were doing. What's more important to you?" he asked looking down into her blue eyes.

"You Roger. You're more important to me. I... I don't know, our family is more important to me." she stammered.

"No James. Your work is more important to you, and you know what? That's OK. It's who you were when we met and it's part of why I fell in love with you. I don't think you should give it up just to do what I want. That's something even I wouldn't be selfish enough to ask of you." he smiled at her.

"You're not selfish Roger. You're the most unselfish man I've ever met. I just... I don't know, my heart really hasn't been in it lately."

"That's because you thought you were gonna lose me. You're not. At least not now." he took her shoulders in his big, strong hands.

"Yeah, not now. But when Roger? Do... do I really want to be here while you're getting sick on the road? No, I don't." she looked up at him with tears stinging her eyes.

"Then, how about I quit?" he looked down at her.

"You can't quit Roger. I... I won't let you." she looked away from him.

"I've been thinking about it for a while. I... I don't want to miss out on my family anymore." he let go of her shoulders.

"And what about your dream Roger? You worked really hard to get where you are. How can you just walk away from it now?" she looked back up at him.

"My dream is to be a husband and father to you and our son James. Going on tour and being away from you two has been selfish and stupid on my part. I don't want to miss anymore of my sons life. I don't want to be stupid or selfish anymore." he insisted looking down at her.

"Not following your dream is stupid and selfish. I can't believe you're actually suggesting quitting your career." she walked away from him and back to the restrooms.

"James, my family means more to me than some band." he chased after her as everyone watched them.

"And your happiness means more to me then anything. Roger, don't you get it? If you quit, what are you gonna do with your life? Work as a bartender, or be the class dad at Davis' school? Oh wait, you can be the lead singer of a crappy club band. That's not you and you know it. You have so much talent that quitting would be a spit in the face of everything your father believed you could do." she turned quickly, her hair whipping in the air.

"Low blow James." he told her somberly before walking towards the front doors.

"Roger, wait." she called out as he kept walking.

"Rog, is everything OK?" Collins asked seeing him leave.

"Fine." he told him angrily before leaving the cafe. Jami came rushing out after him.

"Jami, what happened?" Mark asked looking up at her.

"My idiot husband thinks that giving up his career for us is a good idea." she looked over at him as she watched Roger pace around in front of the cafe, frustrated.

"Isn't it?" Mark asked looking over at her.

"No Mark, it isn't. It's the most irrational thing he's ever suggested." she put her hands on her hips watching him pace around.

"How is it irrational? He wants to spend time with his family like a normal husband and father." he looked down at her.

"But he's not a normal husband and father. He's got talent Mark. Real talent. Him wanting to throw it away is stupid. I'm not gonna let him do it." she looked up at him before leaving the cafe to confront her husband.

"What is she gonna do?" Adam asked looking out the window at them.

"My guess is, kick his ass." Collins chuckled watching them talk outside.

"I am not gonna let you do this Roger, so you better think of another way to spend time with your family." she looked up at him.

"Why are you fighting me like this James? I thought you'd be happy to have me home more." he looked down at her.

"Having you home more would be great, but not at the cost of your dream. You've wanted this since you were 12 and now you want to kiss it goodbye? No way. I'm not having it Roger. I refuse to let you do this to yourself." she looked up at him.

"That was a low blow in there. What you said about my father." he looked down at her.

"I'm sorry about that. But he believed in you so much, he bought you your first guitar. I believe in you too. Giving up on everything you worked so hard for would be giving up on us too." she reached down to take his hand.

"I could never give up on you and Davis, James." he looked down into her blue eyes.

"I wasn't talking about me and Davis. I'm talking about me and your father." she cocked her head because the sun was getting in her eyes.

"So how do we both get what we want without me quitting?" he asked lifting his hand to her face.

"We pick up and bring Davis on tour with us." she smiled at him.

"He's gonna be in kindergarten next year Jami. How are we gonna take him out of school and bring him on tour with us?" he asked looking down at her.

"I can home school him when we're on the road and he can go to regular school when we're home. We can do this Roger." she insisted looking up into his green eyes. She could see by the look on his face that he was listening and considering this as an option.

"You think so?" he smirked at her.

"Yep. I'm not an idiot Roger. I think I can teach a 5 year old kindergarten." she nodded smiling at him.

"Oh, you are far from an idiot Baby. You're the smartest woman I know." he smiled wrapping his arms around her waist.

"So, what's the problem." she caressed his chest looking up at him.

"There is no problem. Let's do it." he smiled as she threw her arms around his neck kissing his soft lips.

"This is gonna be great Roger. You'll see." she smiled at him excitedly.

"I know it is James. I'm gonna be with my family." he smiled holding her tight in his arms.


	81. Chapter 81

It's a month later. Roger, Jami, Doug and Davis are on tour. They're in a hotel in Detroit, Michigan. Roger has taken Doug and Davis out sightseeing while Jami stayed back. She was feeling tired and felt that her time would best be spent resting for their shows. As Jami slept in the king sized, she was woken up by a sudden urge to throw up. She bolted up before making it to the bathroom just in time. She thought about why she was throwing up in that toilet. She realized that she had finished her birth control pills and still had not gotten her period. At first she had boiled it down to stress, but the more she thought about it, the more she thought of the possibility that it was something else. "I have got to get out of my own head." she muttered to herself before getting up from the bathroom floor and cleaning up before returning to the bed. Just as she laid back down, her phone rang. "Of course." she groaned picking up the phone. The number on the caller id was her mother. "Perfect. Hi mama." she smiled opening the phone before placing it to her ear.

"Jami, how are things?" she asked.

"We're fine mama. We're in Detroit right now. How are things back home?" she smiled folding her legs in front of her on the bed.

"What's the matter James? You don't sound right." she observed.

"Nothing is wrong mama. Everything is great actually. Roger and I are performing on stage together and Doug and Davis are having the time of their lives hanging out together." she tried to sound enthusiastic.

"James Frances Davis, I am your mother. I know when something is wrong. Now talk to me." she demanded on the phone.

"I missed my period mama." she told her quietly.

"You what? Well is there a possibility that you're pregnant?" she asked right away.

"Well, um..." she stammered before her mother interrupted her.

"I thought you two used precautions?" she asked.

"Of course we do. Mama I am not talking about my sex life with you." she giggled nervously.

"James Frances, you do realize that this is not unchartered territory for me, don't you?" she asked comfortably.

"Yeah, I'm not liking this whole sexual awakening you're going through these days." Jami called out, blushing.

"Well, are you?" she asked curiously.

"Let's just say that Fort Knox is less protected than my ovarian region." Jami leaned her head in her hand on her knee.

"What does that mean Jami?" she asked confused.

"I'm on the pill and we use condoms, OK mama?" she blurted out embarrassed at the conversation.

"Well, that... that sounds like you're pretty well covered." she stammered.

"But I'm thinking I might be anyway." she whispered into the phone.

"Might be what dear?"

"Pregnant mama. Geez, aren't you listening?" Jami told her frustrated.

"Have you spoken to Roger about this?" Mrs. Barnett inquired.

"Oh god no. I won't dare say anything to him until I know anything for sure."

"James, if you think you're pregnant, you need to speak to your husband." she insisted.

"Mama, do you see Roger being rational about this? I mean, the first word about maybe another baby and he'll be ecstatic. Then if the test comes out negative... it'll be a hard let down. I... I can't tell him anything until I know for sure." she explained to her mother.

"You need to get a test James. You need to find out for sure. The sooner you find out, the sooner you can make arrangements to adjust your medication. Each moment you waste could be crucial to yours and the new baby's health."

"I understand that mama." she let out a heavy sigh, knowing that her mother was right. As she heard the door open and close, she knew she needed to end the conversation. "Roger's back with Doug and Davis, so I have to go. I... I'll talk to him, just promise me you won't call him, OK? Please?" she pleaded quietly.

"Of course not Jami. My lips are sealed, just make sure you take care of yourself. Your health is very important to your boys and us." she smiled.

"Yes mama. Thank you. I'll talk to you later. I love you." she smiled before hanging up the phone and getting up from the bed. As she stood up, she felt a little light headed and felt the need to sit back down to catch her breath before getting up slower and going into the living area of the hotel suite. "There are my boys. Where did you guys go today?" she asked seeing her son and Doug sitting on the couch with a pile of books as Roger stood in the kitchen area.

"Mommy, we went to a book store. Do you wanna see all the books daddy bought me? They're really cool." Davis smiled as he jumped up from the couch.

"Wow, very cool." she smiled looking down at her son.

"Baby, we didn't mean to wake you. We just came back so I could get the other credit card. I kind of brought the expired one by mistake." he smiled walking over to her, slipping the credit card in his back pocket before leaning down to kiss her.

"Roger, can... can we talk in the bedroom for a minute?" she asked looking up at him.

"Sure, Doug, you got him?" Roger asked looked over at Doug.

"Sure Rog." he smiled at him.

"Go by Uncle Doug for a minute while me and daddy talk, OK?" Jami smiled kissing Davis on the top of his head.

"OK mommy." the boy smiled running over to his uncle.

"Is everything OK Baby?" Roger asked looking down at his wife as she closed the bedroom door.

"I'm not sure, I... I need you to pick something up for me and I don't want you to freak out." she looked up at him.

"Freak out about what? James tell me what's going on." he asked confused and concerned.

"I need you to pick up a pregnancy test." she blurted out, looking up at him.

"A... but what about...?" he stuttered plopping down on the bed.

"I haven't gotten my period yet and I should be on day 4." she looked down at him.

"But you're on..." he started when she interrupted him.

"Apparently you're guys crossed the border." she smirked as she stood over him with her hands on her hips.

"My guys..." he started when she interrupted him.

"Don't get cocky Davis." she warned him laughing.

"This is... James, we could be having another baby." he smiled wrapping his arms around her waist.

"We don't know yet. That's why I need the test." she smiled running her fingers through his hair.

"I'll get it right away. Are you gonna be OK here alone?" he smiled leaning his head back to look up into her blue eyes.

"Mhm, just hurry, I'm kind of freaking out." she laughed leaning on his shoulders before kissing his forehead.

"I'll be back in two shakes." he smiled before getting up from the bed, leaning down to kiss her tenderly.

"I love you Roger." she smiled looking up in his eyes.

"James, I'm so in love with you, there are no words." he whispered leaning his forehead into hers.

"There better be. This family is counting on you writing songs for us to perform." she laughed looking up at him.

"Ha ha." he laughed kissing her again before leaving the room. She heard the front door slam shut as he rushed out for the pregnancy test. She left the bedroom and went into the living area.

"Where did Roger go? I thought we were going back out?" Doug asked looking up at her.

"He just needed to pick something up. Why don't you take Davis out to lunch? Me and Roger can meet you in a little while?" she smiled taking her credit card out of her pocket book.

"Is everything OK Jami?" he asked quietly so Davis wouldn't hear him.

"Yeah Doug, I can honestly say everything is OK." she smiled up at him.

"You are one hard chick to understand. No wonder why my brother is an incoherent moron when you're around." he teased kissing her head.

"Good bye Douglas." she laughed as he went over to his nephew.

"Come on little man, let's leave your mama and papa alone to do yucky grown up stuff." he teased looking down at Davis.

"Mommy and daddy always do yucky grown up stuff." he smiled up at him.

"You ain't gotta tell me little man." he chuckled as he took his nephew's hand before leaving the suite.

"Don't have to tell you Douglas. Try using correct English to my son." she called out laughing.

"Yeah yeah." he laughed closing the door behind him.


	82. Chapter 82

Roger returned from the store holding a small brown paper bag from the drug store down the street from the hotel. He opened the door and Jami was sitting on the couch just feet from the door. "Catch." he smiled tossing the bag to his wife who caught the bag smirking up at him.

"That was quick." she started laughing as he smiled widely at her.

"The drug store was empty. Thankfully. I don't know what I would have done if I had to wait on line holding a pregnancy test, signing autographs and shit." he looked down at her.

"Yeah, that would have been crazy." she laughed getting up from the couch.

"Where's Doug and Davis?" he asked looking down at her.

"I sent them to lunch. I told them we'd meet them down there when we were done." she smiled clutching the bag in her hand.

"Do they know anything?" he asked looking down at her.

"No, Doug just thinks we're weird." she laughed looking up at him.

"Well we are." he laughed leaning down to kiss her lips.

"I... better take this." she waved the bag in her hand.

"Um... yeah. I think that would be a good idea." he smiled down at her.

"I'm not sure what to do. I haven't taken one of these in a while." she looked up at him.

"You just pee on the stick and it'll come up a plus sign or a negative sign. Easy as that." he smiled down at her.

"You are so good to me." she leaned up to kiss him again.

"Was there ever any doubt?" he laughed looking down at her.

"Never." she smiled walking off to the bathroom to take the pregnancy test. She peed on the stick and set it on the counter. Rubbing her hands together anxiously. He came into the bedroom before knocking on the door to the master bath.

"Everything OK in there?" he asked equally as anxious.

"Yeah, come on in. I'm just waiting for it to show the results." she opened the door, looking up at him.

"Whatever it says, we're OK. I'm not gonna be disappointed if it's negative, OK?" he wrapped his arms around her slender waist bringing her close to him.

"I... I know." she answered nervously burying her face in his big strong chest.

"Hey James, I know we haven't talked about having another baby, but you know me. The more the better." he smiled down at her.

"Yeah, and what about your PCP?" she asked looking up at him.

"It's in remission Baby and I'm on antibiotics for it."

"And what if you have a recurrence? The thought of leaving me and Davis was tearing you apart a month ago. How do you think you'd feel about leaving me and 2 kids?" she asked.

"I'm fine now James and I plan on staying that way." he leaned down to kiss her head.

"Oh yeah, and what about when I'm big and fat standing on that stage?" she laughed looking up at him.

"We'll handle it. Maybe we can do what they do on TV, hide your belly behind plants or something." he teased looking into her blue eyes.

"Ha ha Davis. You're a riot." she playfully slapped his chest before wrapping her arms around him and cuddling in to his chest again.

"We'll handle it James, just like we handle everything else." he kissed her head before leaning his chin on the top of it.

"I think it's done, are you ready to look?" she asked looking up at him, propping her chin on his muscular chest.

"Mhm." he smiled leaning down to kiss her before they turned to the counter where the fated pregnancy test sat, waiting for attention. Jami slowly let go of Roger and reached over to the counter, picking up the test stick. She started down at it as Roger waited patiently by the door for the verdict. "Well?" he asked not waiting for her to blurt out the answer.

"Um... plus sign. We're... um... we're pregnant." she looked up at him with tears stinging her eyes and a smile crossing her lips. With those words, Roger's eyes lit up and his face transformed into that of a happy man. Not just happy, ecstatic.

"Davis is gonna be a big brother." he called out rushing to wrap his arms around his wife's waist and lift her up happily.

"I... I never expected this Roger. I'm... I'm on the pill and we use condoms. Um... how... how could that happen?" she asked curious.

"Guess my guys are good like that." he teased looking into her beautiful face.

"Oh great, now you're gonna be more cocky than you were before." she laughed looking down at him.

"Hey, I'm a very virile man." he smiled at her.

"Apparently, two children later, against all the odds here we are." she smiled looking into his sparkling green eyes.

"Why don't you go get dressed? We can tell Doug and Davis." he smiled at her.

"Um... why don't I go to the doctor first? Just... to make sure that this one is for real?" she suggested looking into his eyes.

"Baby, everything was fine with Davis. There's no reason that it won't be with this baby." he let her down gently, staring into her eyes.

"I know, I just... I don't know. I don't want to get our hopes up if it's ectopic. Last time was hell. It... it almost tore us apart." she looked up at him.

"Yeah, I... I remember." he lifted his hand to caress her long blond hair.

"So we're in agreement? Davis and Doug are still in the dark until I can get to a doctor for an ultra sound?" she asked looking up at him.

"Yeah Baby. That sounds like a good idea." he smiled leaning down to kiss her head.

"OK. Let me just go get dressed and we can eat lunch with the boys." she smiled at him.

"OK Baby. I'll call the front desk and see if I can find a doctor who can do an ultra sound." he smiled down at her.

"When?" she asked looking up at him.

"As soon as possible would be better, right? I mean, we don't want to put your life at risk if it is an ectopic pregnancy." he looked down at her.

"Good idea. Um... I'm sorry I'm putting a damper on our news, it's just..." she started when he interrupted her.

"Baby, it's a valid concern. We went through a lot back then and I could have lost you. I don't want to go through that again. Ever. I don't want to be oblivious to that. When we find out everything is gonna be OK, then we'll have something to celebrate. For now it's important to make sure you and the baby are OK." he smiled leaning down to kiss her.

"Thank you Roger." she smiled before stepping out from the bathroom and began getting dressed.

"Hey, I'm the husband. What else am I gonna do?" he smiled at her.

"You're more than just the husband Roger. You're everything." she smiled at him slipping into her jeans.

Down at the restaurant, Doug and Davis were eating mozzarella sticks waiting for Jami and Roger to arrive. They stood in the foyer of the restaurant watching Doug and Davis play at the table. Davis was coloring and Doug was helping him. "Check it out." Roger smiled holding Jami's hand.

"They are so good together, aren't they?" she smiled looking up at him.

"Well Doug is mentally 5 years old, so it works out." Roger laughed looking down at her.

"Stop it Roger. He's a great uncle. I'm glad Davis has him." she smiled up at him.

"Me too." he smiled before they made their way to the table to join them.


	83. Chapter 83

The next morning, Roger and Jami told Doug and Davis that they were going to look for clothes for Jami and snuck off to the doctor. They entered the doctors office for their ultra sound. They checked Jami in before sitting down in the waiting area. They clutched one another's hands, anxiously. "Nervous?" Roger asked looking down at her.

"Like you wouldn't believe." she smiled nervously up at him.

"Yeah, me too." he squeezed her hand tightly as she lay her head on his arm.

"OK, if it is ectopic, we need to get it taken care of right away. Do you think you can go on alone tonight?" she asked looking up at him.

"James, don't think like that. It's equally as possible for everything to be OK." he looked down at her.

"I know, I just want to be prepared if something is wrong. I... I don't want to be blindsided like last time." she looked up at him.

"OK James. I... I guess you're right. But I'm gonna hold out hope that everything is OK and we're gonna have another baby." he smiled down at her.

"OK." she smiled leaning her head on his arm again.

"OK Baby." he whispered leaning over to kiss her head.

"Mrs. Davis, the doctor is ready for you now." the nurse called out from the doorway as they both got up and followed her.

"Ready?" Roger asked looking down at his wife.

"Yep." she answered simply as they entered the examining room. She sat on the table and soon the doctor entered. She had Jami lay down and they began the sonogram. As soon as the receptor was placed on her bare stomach, they could see that their baby was OK. They could see the baby in the womb and the fallopian tubes were clear.

"Mr. And Mrs. Davis, it looks like everything is OK." the doctor smiled as they smiled at one another.

"Thank you so much doctor. This is such a relief." Jami smiled at him as Roger clutched her hand in his.

"No problem." the doctor smiled taking the receptor off of Jami's belly before wiping her flat belly off and fixing her shirt. He told her her due date and gave her meds to prevent the HIV from transferring to their baby. As they left the doctor's office, they were even more ecstatic then they were the day before.

"We're gonna have another baby Roger." she smiled up at him.

"Yep." he smiled simply, before shifting his eyes in her direction.

"You're really excited now, aren't you?" she asked as her smiled got bigger.

"You have no idea." he laughed excitedly.

"You're holding yourself back from picking me up and running back to the hotel to tell Doug and Davis, aren't you?" she laughed looking up at him.

"Mhm." he nodded frantically.

"Go for it big guy." she laughed stopping in the middle of the sidewalk.

"Are you serious? Because once I pick you up, I'm not stopping until we get to the hotel." he warned her.

"Do it. I'm ready." she laughed throwing her head back excited herself.

"Don't say I didn't warn you." he laughed before lacing his hands around her slender waist and picking her up in his arms before rushing back to the hotel.

"I love when you carry me." she laughed out loud holding on to him.

"I love carrying you." he smiled leaning in to kiss her as he carried her in his arms. As they entered the hotel, they rushed to the elevator as the other guests watched them. They must have looked very odd, with Jami laughing and Roger carrying her, but they got smiles throughout the lobby. As soon as they got on the elevator, the door closed and Roger set Jami down. "I love you Jami." he whispered standing over her.

"Well good thing, since I'm the mother of your two children." she giggled looking up at him.

"Two children. Wow. Never thought I'd hear that in my life." he laughed looking down at her.

"Yeah, you and me both." she laughed clutching the front of his t-shirt in her hand before pulling him down for a long tender kiss.

"You are such a great mother James. I couldn't imagine parenting with anyone else but you." he smiled caressing her cheek with his thumb.

"Me neither." she smiled kissing him again. When the elevator doors opened Doug and Davis were standing on the other side of the door staring at them.

"Must you guys. Jesus, isn't it too early for you two to be gross?" he asked holding his nephew's hand.

"Hey, is that anyway to talk to your brother and sister in law? After all, you wouldn't want us not to tell you our news, would you?" Roger laughed holding Jami in his arms.

"What news? That you two are gross? Yeah, that's public knowledge." he groaned looking over at them before stepping into the elevator with Davis.

"No, the news that you're gonna be an uncle again." Jami smiled looking up at him.

"I'm...? You're...? When?" he asked looking over at them.

"We found out yesterday, but we just got back from the doctor to make sure everything is OK." Roger smiled at his younger brother.

"Did you hear that buddy? You're gonna be a big brother." Doug smiled at his nephew.

"Mommy, you're gonna have another baby?" Davis asked looking up at them.

"Yeah, how do you feel about that? Sharing mommy and daddy with another baby?" Jami asked kneeling down to her sons level.

"I'm gonna be a big brother like daddy is to Uncle Doug and Aunt Heather." he smiled at his mother.

"That's right sweetheart. You are." she smiled hugging her son.

"How about we all go out to breakfast to celebrate?" Roger suggested looking down at his wife and son.

"Great idea." Doug smiled at him. "Does anyone else know?" he asked looking at his older brother.

"Nope, you two are the only other ones, other than us." Roger smiled at him.

"Cool. Finally, I know something Chris doesn't know." Doug smiled at them.

"Yeah well, Chris didn't want to come, so he missed out on the happy news." Jami smiled holding her sons hand tight. "Um... mama kind of knows that I could be pregnant." Jami confessed looking up at her husband.

"Why don't you call her when we get outside? I'm sure she'll be thrilled. And I should call my mom. It would suck for her to find out from your mom." he smiled at her.

"Good idea Baby. It wouldn't be fair." she looked over at him.

"OK Baby." he smiled putting his arms around her waist touching her flat belly.

"Is this where the baby is daddy?" Davis asked looking up at his father.

"That's right little man. This is where you were when you were when mommy was gonna have you." he smiled at him.

"I was in mommy's belly?" he asked curiously as the elevator doors opened.

"Yep." Roger smiled down at his family. As they exited the hotel and made their phone calls.


	84. Chapter 84

3 months later. Roger, Jami and Davis returned from the tour and Mark, Maureen, Michael, Collins and Adam threw them a huge party welcoming them home. They were informed of Jami's pregnancy shortly after they found out, so it wasn't a surprise to them when they returned home and Jami was in full pregnant, hormonal swing and she was just beginning to show. She snapped at every thing Roger and Mark did. The only people who were safe were Maureen, Davis and Michael. Roger's band had started playing clubs in the city while Jami was pregnant, so he'd be home with her. A decision he sometimes regretted, but deep down, he didn't mind. His wife was pregnant with his second child and he was ecstatic.

It's Tuesday night and Jami seems to be sound asleep when Roger returns home from his gig. He quietly takes his boots off in the hallway before entering the loft. He knows how much she hates it when he clunks into the loft, shuffling his boots on the hardwood floor. Carrying his boots into the bedroom, he gently placed them on the floor next to the dresser. He knew better than to leave them next to his side of the bed. Jami tended to throw them across the room when she tripped over them, looking for Tums in his nightstand for her heartburn. He tip toed towards his side of the bed and tried to sit down as gently as he could. "Dammit Roger. Must you plop on the bed like that at... ugh, 3 in the morning?" she groaned looking up at the clock next to the bed.

"I'm sorry Baby. I... I tried to be as quiet as possible. I guess I just..." he started when she interrupted him.

"No Roger, I'm... I'm sorry. I just... I haven't been able to get any sleep with this baby. He's really putting me through the ringer. Just when I think I'm comfortable, I get heartburn and I'm up again." she turned looking over at him.

"He? You can't possibly think this one is a boy too?" he smiled down at her.

"Oh, can't I? Think about it. On our wedding day, I got the worst morning sickness I'd ever had and boom, we have Davis. I get comfortable and this baby won't let me sleep. Do you have a better explanation?" she looked up at him.

"Guess not. I'm sorry Baby." he leaned over to kiss her tender lips.

"There's nothing you can do about it." she smirked at him.

"Do you want I should give him a stern talking to? Because I will if you want me to." he looked into her blue eyes.

"No, it's OK. I'll survive. You better get to bed. You have to take Davis to his first day of kindergarten tomorrow." she smiled at him.

"Yes Baby." he smiled at her unbuttoning his jeans before slipping them off.

"Don't yes Baby me. Get over here and hold your wife in your warm, comfortable arms." she smiled looking over at him.

"With pleasure." he stripped off his t-shirt and crawled under the covers wrapping his arms around his wife, holding her close to him.

"Mmm, so how was the show?" she asked looking up at him.

"It was OK. I missed my wife." he smiled leaning down to kiss her head.

"Oh yeah? Well I can't very well climb up there when I'm getting bigger and bigger every day." she looked up at him.

"I didn't say anything. All I said was that I missed you. That could mean anything." he looked down at her.

"Yeah, yeah. You're impossible.' she looked up at him.

"So you tell me. Constantly." he smiled looking at her.

"Yeah, well I'm your wife. It's my job to point out your little flaws." she smiled up at him.

"Thank god I have you James." he chuckled quietly holding her in his arms.

"Ha ha ha." she whispered falling asleep with him.

The next morning, Roger woke up and gently slipped out of bed. He opened the door before closing it quietly behind him. He went into his sons room to wake him up. "Wake up little man. It's your first day of kindergarten." he sat on Davis' bed, shaking him out of his sleep.

"Where's mommy?" he asked opening his eyes slowly.

"She's still sleeping. She didn't get much sleep last night so I told her I'd take you to school." he looked down at him.

"The baby is being mean to mommy, huh?" he asked looking up at him.

"Not really mean, just... being stubborn like us." he smirked down at him.

"Was I mean to mommy when I was in her belly?" he asked sitting up in his bed.

"No, but you were a funny kid, even in mommy's belly." he chuckled remembering their wedding day.

"How was I funny? Did I tell mommy jokes?" he asked, not quite understanding.

"No, you can't talk when you're in mommy's belly." he laughed at the innocence of his son. "Mommy and I got married before her and Uncle Mark went on tour for their first movie, but we were getting married in front of everyone else a few months later. Well, between the time mommy and Uncle Mark got home and the big wedding she got pregnant with you. We didn't tell anyone we were gonna have you because we wanted to wait until after the wedding to tell them. Well, you had other plans. The morning everyone was at grandma's house helping mommy get ready, she got morning sickness. We had to tell everyone about you since everyone knew what it was like to have a baby. It was funny actually." he laughed telling his son the story.

"Bet mommy yelled at you." Davis laughed.

"She sure did. She kept telling me that you had to be a boy because you had a demented sense of humor like me." he smiled at his son.

"Yeah, mommy still says that." he smiled at him.

"She's a smart lady, your mommy. I don't know what I would do without her in my life. I wouldn't have you, that's for sure." he smiled at him.

"I know daddy. Mommy's the best." he smiled kneeling up to hug his father.

"She sure is little man." he hugged his son tight. "You should get ready for school OK? Michael should be up soon and I have to make my little men breakfast." he kissed his sons head.

"OK daddy." he smiled jumping out of bed to start getting dressed. Jami had set his clothes out for him and they were sitting on his dresser, neatly folded. Roger stopped in the doorway and smiled at his son. He was really growing up. Here he was starting kindergarten and they were getting ready to do it all again. He remembered the morning Jami told him she was pregnant with him. He had just lost Joey and things were hectic that morning. They were so excited to have another chance after the ectopic pregnancy that nearly took her from him. They never imagined that another child was in their future. He shook himself out of his thoughts and turned to make his sons first day of school breakfast.

"Good morning Roger." Maureen smiled at him from across the loft coming out of Michael's room.

"Hey, is the monster up?" he smiled at her.

"Yep. He was actually easier to get up than most days." she smiled at him.

"It's the first day of school. They're excited." he smiled at him.

"I can't believe Davis is in kindergarten and Michael is in first grade. Our boys are really growing up, huh?" she smiled at him.

"Yeah, and then when this baby is born we'll be starting all over again." he looked at her.

"It'll be fun, you'll see." she smiled at him. "I better go get dressed."

"Breakfast will be ready in a little while." he smiled at her.

"Thanks Roger. You really make a great wife. Jami's a lucky woman." she joked walking towards her room.

"Funny Johnson." he laughed taking the eggs out of the refrigerator. As he mixed the eggs in the bowl, his wife appeared in the doorway of their bedroom.

"Who's making all this noise out here?" Jami laughed from the doorway of their bedroom.

"Good morning Baby." he smiled catching a glimpse of his beautiful pregnant wife. At nearly 5 months, her belly was small but showing. She wore a long t-shirt and a pair of Roger's cut off sweat pants.

"Is the baby up?" she asked looking over at him.

"You tell me?" he smiled at her.

"I... I mean Davis." she corrected looking over at him. "I gotta stop calling him that, don't I?" she smiled caressing her belly.

"Yeah, especially since he's in elementary school now and he gets a little testy when you call him that, since he's a big boy now." he smirked at her.

"I can't believe my baby is growing up." she smiled sitting on the stool at the metal table.

"Yeah, he's already more mature than I am." he joked leaning over to kiss his wife.

"He was more mature than you at 3 years old Roger." she teased caressing his cheek.

"Ha ha." he smiled turning around to start cooking his sons breakfast.

"Oh, I'm lying, right?" she laughed looking up at him.

"You know, no one informed me that we re opened the comedy club." he commented smiling back at her.

"Sorry, I forgot." she laughed as Davis came rushing out of his bedroom. He was wearing the jeans and the dark blue polo shirt she had picked out for him.

"Mommy, you're up." he called out running to her.

"Hey there, my sweet little man. You look so handsome for your first day of school." she smiled as wrapped his arms around her pregnant waist.

"Daddy said the baby was being mean to you again." he looked up at her.

"He's fine now sweet boy. I just had to work at getting comfortable last night." she smiled at him.

"I'm having a brother?" he looked up at her curious.

"We don't know quite yet little man, but mommy has her suspicions." Roger laughed placing the plate in front of Davis on the counter.

"That would be so cool. Me with a little brother, like Uncle Doug is your little brother, right daddy?" he looked up Roger.

"Right buddy." he smiled as Jami helped her son on the stool.

"How would you feel if you had a little sister like Aunt Heather is to daddy?" she smiled at him.

"That would be OK too, I guess. But she can't play with my cars and trucks. They're not for girls." he looked up at her.

"Girls can play with cars and trucks little man. You know, Aunt Heather played with our cars and trucks all the time." Roger smiled down at him.

A few minutes later, Maureen came out of her room, calling out for Michael. "Let's go Mama's boy, you still have to eat breakfast."

"I'm right here mommy." he called out coming out of his room and entering the kitchen.

"You look so handsome for your first day of first grade, sweetie." Jami smiled at her nephew.

"Thank you Aunt Jami." he smiled sitting next to his cousin ate their breakfast. Mark was sleeping late, since he worked late the night before filming Jami's film about Roger. It was for a club scene and he found a club who was willing to let him borrow their audience. With Jami pregnant again, he was more than happy to film on his own. Considering the fact that she was more neurotic pregnant than she was normally. As the boys finished their breakfast, Roger and Maureen left to take the boys to school and Jami cleaned up after breakfast.


	85. Chapter 85

2 weeks later, Jami and Roger walked into the doctor's office for their sonogram appointment. They were gonna find out if they were having another boy or a girl. Jami was walking uncomfortably, forgetting what it took to have a sonogram. The amount of water she was forced to drink seemed barbaric to her. There had to be a better way, unless this was a cruel joke the medical community played on pregnant women. It seemed silly that just when the baby was bouncing around on the mother to be's bladder, she was forced to drink a gallon of water without using the restroom. "You OK Baby?" he asked sitting in the chair next to her. She glared over at him giving him a dirty look, before looking back down at the magazine she had in her lap. "Right, um... sorry." he apologized, something he was used to doing when Jami was with child.

"This is cruel and unusual punishment. Making a pregnant woman drink so much water. I swear a man came up with that stupid idea." she complained shutting the magazine before tossing it on the table next to her.

"I know Baby, I know." he put his arm around her before leaning in to kiss her head.

"I complained last time, didn't I?" she asked looking over at him.

"Yep. But it's OK. I understand. I know how hard this is for you." he smiled at her.

"Ugh, why do I keep getting pregnant? I'm a raging bitch every time." she wondered looking up at him.

"Because once the baby is here, you're a great mama." he smiled playing with her hair.

"Yeah but what I put you through last time, it's a wonder you come anywhere near me." she chuckled.

"I can't help it. With a wife as sexy as mine, I can't get enough." he moaned in her ear.

"Isn't this how we got this way to begin with?" she laughed at him.

"Not exactly, but later I can show you if you need me to refresh your memory." he laughed.

"I just might take you up on that." she smiled as the nurse came out to bring them into the examining room.

"Are we ready to meet the newest member of the Davis clan?" Dr. Matthew asked smiling at them.

"Yes, the sooner the better." Jami smiled at her anxiously.

"Need to use the rest room?" she smiled at her.

"You guessed it." she laid back on the table lifting her blouse up, revealing her pregnant belly.

"Then let's get started." she smiled placing the receptor on her stomach revealing their 5 and half month old fetus. "Everything looks good. The baby is growing nicely and I believe I can see the sex of the baby if you're interested." she smiled at Roger who was clutching Jami's hand, staring at his second child in awe.

"That's why we're here." Jami laughed looking over at Roger who smiled sheepishly.

"You two are gonna have your hands full with this little lady." Dr. Matthews smiled at them.

"A... a girl? Our... daughter." Roger sighed in disbelief. He had convinced himself that Jami's suspicions were correct and that they were having another boy. But he was pleasantly surprised.

"Are you disappointed?" Jami looked over at him.

"Of course not James. I... I could never be disappointed by anything you give me. I'm gonna have a daughter." he smiled at her with tears in his eyes.

"I... I know I thought it was another boy, but..." she started when he leaned up and cut her sentence off with a kiss on her tender lips.

"This is the second greatest gift you ever gave me." he leaned over her, caressing her cheek with his thumb.

"I knew you were gonna say that." she smiled up at him.

"I take it you two would like a picture of your little princess?" the doctor smiled at them.

"Please. Thank you Dr. Matthews." Roger smiled at her as she prepared to print out the first of many pictures of their baby girl.

"I guess the odds are getting better and better for me and Maureen, huh?" Jami smiled at Roger.

"Yeah, I... I think we're all in trouble now." Roger admitted sitting back down next to her.

"We need to come up with a name now." she smiled at him.

"That's gonna be tougher then it was for Davis." he leaned his forehead into hers.

"Yeah, I know." she smiled with her hands on her belly.

At home, no one was there when they arrived. Jami had fully expected to be attacked by Maureen the second the door slid open. But alas, nothing. She looked around curiously. "I wonder where everyone is." Roger asked looking down at her.

"Yeah, they all knew where we were going." she looked up at him.

"Well, I'm not complaining. We have 5 hours until we have to pick Davis up and I want to lay down and corrupt the mother of my children." he smiled wrapping his arms around her pregnant body.

"I don't remember you being this amorous when I was pregnant with Davis." she giggled melting into his embrace.

"Yeah well, with you biting my head off every 10 minutes, I couldn't get any moves in." he groaned, leaning down to kiss his wife's lips.

"That's right. I was a raging bitch from hell, wasn't I?" she giggled looking into his green eyes.

"I didn't mind. Having Davis was worth it." he smiled leaning down to lift her up into his arms.

"Are you out of your mind? You'll cripple yourself." she called out as he carried her to their bedroom.

"Nah, you're light. And anyway, I missed carrying you." he smiled placing her gently on the bed.

"Mhm, I love when you carry me into the bedroom and show me what a big strong man you are." she giggled leaning up to kiss him more passionately.

"Roger, Jami are you guys home?" a voice called out as the door slid open loudly.

"Tell me again why can't we move out?" he asked looking down at her.

"Because we're having a daughter and they tend to get very expensive." she laughed looking up at him.

"I hate when they interrupt us." he complained getting up from the bed.

"I know, but just think about all the times we interrupted them." she smiled at him.

"That's just sick James." he laughed as he helped her out of the bed so they could deliver their news to their roommates.

"There you are. So? How did it go?" Maureen asked nonchalantly.

"Michael better get ready for a roommate." Jami smiled excitedly.

"A girl? Are you serious? Roger's gonna have a daughter? This is gonna be so ironic." Maureen smiled at them excitedly.

"How so?" Roger asked curiously.

"You with a daughter. The rock star with the ability to make women swoon and melt at his every lyric is gonna have daughter. I know I see the humor in this." Mark chuckled as Jami began laughing quietly.

"What the hell are you laughing at?" Roger laughed looking down at his wife.

"I can see it now. As soon as she turns 13 you're gonna lock her in her room so no boys get near her." she laughed hanging on to his arm.

"OK, all of you laugh. Just get it out." he surrendered folding his arms across his chest. "Are you having fun? Seriously?" he asked glaring down at his wife, fighting a smile himself.

"I'm sorry. But you have to admit, it is gonna be a sight to see." she squealed laughing harder now.

"Ugh, I'm gonna be one of those dad's who are gonna be cleaning his guns when his daughter brings a boy home, aren't I?" he asked looking down at her.

"I have a feeling you will be. Sorry Baby." she laughed as he walked over to the couch.

"I... I don't want to be that dad, you know? I... I want my daughter to find the love of her life just like I did. I... I don't want my daughter to be afraid to talk to me." he plopped down on the couch.

"Roger, you're gonna be fine. By the time she's old enough to date, you're gonna be fine. Right now you're just new to the prospect of having a daughter." Jami walked over to him, calmer now.

"I... I don't know James. I... I want to be as good with my daughter as my dad was with Heather. But I can't help but want to protect her with everything I have inside of me. I'm afraid I'm gonna be more like your dad than mine. I'm gonna mess her up and she's gonna resent me for it." he looked up at her.

"You're gonna be like you, Roger. Loving, protective, supportive. There is no way you're gonna mess up our daughter." she sat next to him, taking his hand in hers.

"How can you say that James? I have no idea how to deal with a little girl. Especially one whose life is in my hands. It's my responsibility to take care of her and make sure she's protected. Always." he looked at her.

"And you can do it. She is gonna worship you Roger. Just like your son does. Just do what you do with him. Love her unconditionally. She'll know it." she smiled at him.

"I'm gonna want to keep her away from guys like me." he looked over at her.

"Why? Don't you think she deserves a loving, gentle, good guy like you are?" she smirked.

"You know what I mean James. I wasn't always this way." he told her.

"But you are now. That's all that counts." he leaned up to kiss his cheek.

"Um... does the little miss have a name?" Maureen asked looking down at them.

"Not yet. We didn't want to talk names until we knew whether we were having a boy or girl." Jami looked up at her.

"So? Anything popping out at you?" Maureen asked sitting on the arm chair.

"Not yet, but we do want to keep with tradition. You know, give her a family name." she smiled at her.

"Well, if it helps, Maureen is a very strong, confident name for a little girl." she joked looking down at them.

"We'll keep that in mind, thanks Maureen." Roger laughed looking up at her.


	86. Chapter 86

2 months later. Jami is nearly 8 months pregnant and they're getting ready for Thanksgiving. They're spending this year at the Davis' and she and Roger are still fighting over names for their daughter. Roger was fighting to name his daughter after her mother and Jami didn't want her daughter to be plagued with the name James, like she was. As much as she loved it when Roger called her by her given name, she did not want her daughter suffering with a boys name. She wanted to name her after their mothers. Agnes Ginger Davis, but Roger refused to name his daughter Agnes. It didn't roll of the tongue like James Frances Davis did. "Ugh, why are you still harping on this? I already shot that idea down." she looked up at him as she packed their suitcase.

"Because if my son has my name, why shouldn't my daughter have your name?" he looked up at her as he lay on the other side of the bed.

"We've been over this. I hated being growing up with a boys name. That was the only thing my parents thought about. The fact that I was supposed to be a boy. I always knew that. I don't want my daughter thinking that she's named James because she was supposed to be something she's not." she stood straight up, setting her hand on her expanding hips.

"She's not James. She's not gonna be named James because she was supposed to be a boy. I want her to be named James because I want her to have her mother's name. I want to give her something of her mother just like her mother wanted to give her brother something of us." he sat up looking at her.

"It was different with Davis." she looked down at him.

"OK, how about Frances Michael?" he suggested trying to compromise.

"Frances? Are you serious?" she asked fighting a smile.

"Frankie for short." he smiled proud of himself.

"Frankie Davis?" she smiled at him.

"Yep. Genius right?" he asked getting out of the bed.

"Frankie Davis." she repeated pacing around the bedroom slowly.

"Is it growing on you yet?" he smiled walking over to her.

"Frances Michael Davis, huh?" she stared up at him.

"What do you think?" he smiled at her.

"Frankie Davis would look great on a marquee." she smiled up at him.

"Yep, it sure would." he smiled at her.

"OK, we have a name for our daughter." she smiled as he threw his arms around her shoulders.

"She sure does." he smiled holding her close.

"Ugh, now we have to get packed. We're leaving as soon as we pick Davis and Michael up from school." she smiled up at him.

"Got it Baby. You finish packing, I'll go with Mark to pick up the boys and then we'll get the car on the way home to save time." he smiled down at her.

"I still can't believe Mrs. Cohen didn't put up a fight when Mark told her that they weren't going to Scarsdale for Thanksgiving." she laughed looking up at him.

"I guess it was a relief since she and Maureen don't get along. Especially since Michael was born." he looked down at her.

"Yeah, she's not crazy about him not being raised Jewish." she looked up at him.

"I think it's cool. It takes a lot of balls to stand by your convictions the way Maureen has. Especially since Patsy Cohen has never been one to be told no." he smiled down at her.

"If there's one thing Maureen has, it's balls." Jami laughed looking up at him.

"Yeah." he smiled letting go of her so she could continue packing their things for their long weekend at the Davis house. He kissed her head before leaving the room. He could hear bickering coming from Mark and Maureen's room. They had been arguing a lot lately, since she got a part in an off Broadway musical.

"You know what Maureen? You do what you want." he could hear Mark yell at her before he left the room. The door slamming behind him.

"Hey, what's going on in there? Sounds like World War 3 breaking out." he joked trying to lighten the mood.

"Maureen has to be back at the theater on Friday morning, so she's gotta leave your moms house on Thursday night." he looked over at him.

"Mark, it's her job. She worked really hard for this chance." he looked over at him.

"Yeah, but this is Thanksgiving with our family. What's next? Her spending Christmas working? That's not the life I want my son to have." he looked up at him.

"Would you rather your son grow up watching his mother sacrifice everything she's ever wanted for him and his father? She'll only resent you for it." he looked over at him.

"I'm not you Roger. I have to take care of everything. I have to make sure everything runs smoothly and Maureen is supposed to be helping me with it." he yelled at him.

"No you're not me. You don't have to make up for all the time your gonna miss by packing everything in that I can." he yelled back.

"Oh yeah, throw that in my face. You know, you're not the only one facing a ticking clock. I am too. Losing you and Jami is all I think about sometimes. How I have to keep it all together for when Davis and your daughter lose their parents and when my son loses his aunt and uncle. Forget about the fact that I'm gonna lose my two best friends. I have to deal with that. I'm doing the best I can here." he shouted at him, trying not to lose it, but failing.

"The best you can do is all you need to be. There's no shame in asking for help once in a while. But Maureen needs help too. She needs to know that she is free to fulfill her dreams too Mark. Just like the rest of us." Jami told him quietly from the doorway.

"But while you and Roger live your lives, someone has to hold down the fort. Someone's gotta be the parents here." he looked over at her.

"Mark, I realize how hard this is for you and Maureen, but you and Maureen shouldn't have to put your lives on hold for us to live ours." Jami walked over to him.

"But we have to. Me and Maureen are gonna have more time..." he started looking over at her.

"No, you won't. At least you don't know that you do. I mean, you could get hit while riding your bike or Maureen could fall down the stairs and paralyzed. I know it sounds sick to say, but it's possible. No one is guaranteed the time they need to accomplish their dreams. You have to take the time you have right now." she looked over at him.

"Yeah and while we all have a family weekend, Maureen is gonna be here working. How is that fair to us?" he asked looking over at her.

"She deserves to follow her dreams just like we are. She's been auditioning and auditioning for years and she finally found something that's right for her. Just be supportive of her Mark. It's what she needs to do with her life." she smiled at him.

"And what about Michael? After dinner tomorrow, she's gonna be leaving to come here to go to work." he looked at her.

"Tell him that he should be proud of his mother for following her dreams. I know we are." Roger smiled at him.

"He's 6 years old Roger. He's not gonna understand that."

"He will if you're proud of her." Jami pointed out.

"I am proud of her. It's just... I had plans for the weekend." he stuttered looking over at her.

"What plans Mark?" she asked walking closer to him.

"I... I wanted to... I wanted to ask her to marry me." he whispered barely coherent.

"You what?" she asked shocked by what she thought she heard.

"I wanted to finally ask her to marry me. I wanted to take her for a walk and ask her in the park. You know, the one she loves with that big tree with the bench underneath it? The one with the leaves that change colors in the fall. She... she fell in love with it that first year. I... I kind of wanted to ask her out there." he told them quietly.

"Why don't you do it tonight? After dinner we can all go for walk. Me and James'll disappear and you can still ask her to marry you, just don't tell her that her aspirations for herself are wrong. If she needs to come back for rehearsal on Friday, support her and wish her luck." Jami smiled putting her hand on his shoulder.

"Yeah, she'll never agree to marry me now. Not after this." he looked over at her.

"Yes she will. Just do what I do." Roger laughed looking over at him.

"What, flash my winning smile and sing her a song? Somehow I don't think it's gonna work. At least not for me." he joked smirking at him.

"You'll think of something Mark. Go in there to apologize to her. She deserves one." Jami smiled at him.

"Yeah, I... I guess she does." he looked over at them.

"Come on, let's go for a walk. I think they need some privacy right about now." Jami smiled looking up at her husband.

"Thanks James." Mark smiled leaning over to kiss Jami's cheek before going towards his bedroom.


	87. Chapter 87

With the boys picked up from school, Roger, Jami, Mark, Maureen, and the boys were on their way to the Davis house. Collins and Adam had planned on visiting Adam's family for the Thanksgiving holiday leaving the Davis and the Cohen's to fend for themselves in New Jersey. Davis and Michael fell asleep in the car as Jami sat in the front seat next to her husband, also asleep. She had her hands on her belly and she was facing Roger. He would look over at her from time to time and admire her beautiful face.

Mark and Maureen sat in the back seat holding hands. Maureen's head was on Mark's shoulder as they listened to the radio. Roger would tap his fingers on the steering wheel when a song he knew came on the radio. It was shortly before 6 when they pulled up in front of the Davis house. Jami had woken up shortly before they reached the block of the Davis house. She reached back to nudge her son and her nephew as Mrs. Davis and Mrs. Barnett exited the house. "Um... what the hell is my mother doing here?" she looked over at Roger who shrugged his shoulders.

"I don't know. No one mentioned anything to me about her coming." he answered unbuckling his seat belt.

"Does that mean all the boys are coming too?" she asked looking over at him.

"Baby, I said I didn't even know she was gonna be here. What makes you think I magically know if your brothers are coming too?" he laughed looking over at her.

"Oh great. I am so not in any shape to deal with all of them this weekend." she groaned looking out the window. She slowly reached down to open the door before getting out of the car.

"James Frances, you look so radiant. Pregnancy agrees with you." Mrs. Barnett smiled before hugging her daughter.

"Yeah well, don't get used to it. I'm done after this." she hugged her back.

"Don't say that. You and Roger make beautiful babies. It would be a shame not to have more." she pulled back from her daughter.

"Don't start mama. Please." she looked over at her.

"Hey Mrs. Barnett. Are the guys here too or is it just you?" Roger asked knowing his wife wouldn't ask her.

"It's just me. The boys all went to their in laws this year, so I wanted to spend the holiday with my pregnant daughter and my handsome grandson." she smiled as Davis and Michael got out of the car.

"Nana." he called out rushing to her.

"Hello my handsome little man. How do you like school?" she asked smiling down at him.

"I love it. Especially when daddy comes with me for show and tell. I show them daddy and he tells them about being a rock star. Mommy says it's daddy's favorite thing to talk about." he smiled at her as Jami laughed covering her mouth.

"Oh really? Daddy likes talking about being a rock star?" she asked looking down at her grandson.

"No, daddy likes to talk about daddy." he smiled as Jami burst out laughing and her husband glared down at her with a slight smile.

"Oh really?" he folded his arms across his chest staring down at his wife.

"What? I'm lying?" she laughed looking up at him.

"Um... yeah." he smiled at her. "I like talking about you and our kids too." he leaned down to kiss her.

"Touche`." she laughed looking up at him.

"Speaking of kids. How is my granddaughter doing?" Mrs. Davis asked hugging Jami before caressing her pregnant belly.

"She's fine. Kicking like crazy. Usually when Roger sings to her. I guess she's her mother's daughter." Jami laughed looking over at her.

"Of course she is. Roger's always had a way with women." she laughed looking up at him.

"Are we done teasing me, so we can go inside and eat? I'm starving." he smiled down at his mother.

"I guess we're done. What you all think?" she asked looking over at Mark and Maureen.

"God, I love coming here." Maureen laughed looking over at Mrs. Davis before they all went inside.

"Where's everyone else?" Jami asked looking over at Mrs. Davis.

"They had some errands to run. They'll be around later." she smiled.

"I can't believe Uncle Doug and Uncle Chris would rather run errands than hang out with their favorite boys." Jami sat carefully on the recliner in the living room.

"They'll be here sweetie. How about we have some appetizers? I made stuffed mushrooms just for you." she smiled at her daughter in law.

"Oh my god. Roger hates mushrooms, so he won't make them for me." she smiled struggling to get up.

"I hate the smell of them they gross me out." he looked over at her.

"Yeah well, it's for your pregnant wife, so suck it up." she joked as he helped her.

"Ma, would you please tell James that if I make mushrooms, I'll get sick." he whined looking over at his mother.

"She's right. Suck it up Mr. Rock Star." Mrs. Davis laughed as she and Jami made their way to the kitchen.

"Is everything set?" Roger asked looking over at his mother in law.

"Yeah, Doug and Chris are there now and Heather and Noah will be there soon. They just had to pick up a couple of things first." she smiled quietly at him.

"Good. I wanna do this tonight. Right after dinner. We'll go for a walk with Mark and Maureen and then you and my mom bring the kids there, OK?" he looked down at her nervously.

"Roger, don't worry. It's gonna be perfect. I promise." she smiled at him.

"Thanks Agnes. I appreciate all your help." he smiled leaning over to kiss her cheek before directing his attention towards the kitchen where his pregnant wife was laughing, eating stuffed mushrooms with his mother, son and Mark, Maureen and Michael.


	88. Chapter 88

After dinner, Roger and Jami sat on the couch laughing with everyone. It was beginning to get dark, so Mark gave Roger and Jami a look before beginning to get up. "How about we go for a walk? Just the 4 of us? You know, like old times." he smiled at Maureen.

"What about the boys?" she asked looking up at him.

"Mrs. Davis and Mrs. Barnett will take care of them. They're playing nice over there right now. Come on. We should get while the gettings good." he smiled holding his hand out to her.

"You guys are coming?" Maureen asked looking over at Roger and Jami.

"Yeah, I could use a walk to work off some of that food I just inhaled. I got an image to maintain." Roger joked looking over at her.

"Yeah, heaven for bid the groupies see an ounce of fat on him." Jami laughed looking over at him.

"Ounce of fat? Perish the thought." he teased taking her hand.

"OK, let's go." she smiled as they all put their coats on and left the house.

"We'll be back in a little while ma." Roger called out smirking at his mother and mother in law before shutting the door behind him.

"Ready Agnes?" Mrs. Davis smiled at her.

"Yep. I'll get the boys." she smiled rushing to get Davis and Michael's jackets on before they left the house.

When they got to the park, Mark and Maureen sat by Maureen's favorite tree while Roger and Jami kept walking. Jami looked at Roger with hand clutching hers curious. "Where are we going?" she asked looking up at him.

"I just want to take a walk around on a beautiful fall evening with my gorgeous wife. Is there something wrong with that?" he asked looking down at her. A sly smiled crossing his face.

"What are you up to? You can't be asking me to marry you, since I did that already. Twice. So what's up?" she giggled up at him.

"And you didn't run after the first time. Silly woman." he joked letting go of her hand so he could wrap his arm around her back.

"Considering what I put you through when I was pregnant with Davis, I'd say you're the gluten for punishment." she smiled up at him.

"It was worth it then and it's gonna be worth it this time too. To have a little girl who looks just like her beautiful mama. I'm one lucky guy." he smiled stopping in the middle of the sidewalk in front of a big gorgeous house. Christmas lights hanging all around the house, lit beautifully.

"You're one stubborn son of a bitch." she laughed leaning up to kiss him.

"I love you James." he smiled at her.

"I love you too Roger." she glared into his sparkling green eyes. The way the Christmas lights reflected off of them, she could see inside of his soul. He was quiet for a minute, smiling down at her. "What?" she asked looking up at him.

"This house. It's... It's so beautiful." he smiled directing his attention to the house.

"I wonder if the people inside realize how lucky they are." she smiled at it.

"Oh, I think they do." he smiled as the front door opened. Mrs. Barnett was standing in the doorway.

"Um... Roger, what is my mother doing standing in the door way of that house?" she asked looking up at him.

"Surprise Baby." he smiled at her.

"What do you mean surprise Baby? Is my mother moving to Hackensack?" she asked looking up at him.

"Not exactly. Come on." he smiled reaching down for her hand before leading her into the house. When they entered the house, there was a huge living room in front of them and a set of stairs to the right of the door. Davis and Michael were coloring at the coffee table in the living room and Chris, Doug, Heather, Noah and Mrs. Davis were sitting in the living room, smiling at them.

"What... what's going on?" Jami asked confused.

"Happy Thanksgiving James." he smiled at her quietly.

"What... what do you mean Happy Thanksgiving? Roger, I... I don't understand what's going on? Who lives here?" she asked looking around the house.

"We do." he smiled at her. His grin had widened.

"What do you mean, we do? We live in the city." she pointed out, turning to face him.

"Not anymore. I... I bought this place. You, me, Mark, Maureen, Davis, Michael and Frankie are gonna be living here. It's only 45 minutes from the city, so it won't interfere with Maureen's musical, Mark's filming or my performing. And my mom is only a couple of blocks away so she could help with the boys when you need her." he smiled down at her.

"Does... Mark and Maureen know about this?" she asked looking up at him, tears stinging her eyes.

"Yeah, they helped me pick it out. They're thrilled to get the boys out of the city." he smiled down at her.

"Roger, I... I wish you would have talked to me about this. At least you wouldn't have wasted your money on this." she told him before walking away from him. She went towards the living room looking for the kitchen.

"Mommy, do you like our house?" Davis asked getting up from the floor, rushing over to his mother.

"Yeah honey, it's... it's fine." she smiled down at him before looking around. "Can someone please tell me where the kitchen in this place is." she called out, trying to be calm.

"Right... right this way Jami." Heather got up and led her sister in law into the kitchen. "Jami, what's wrong? We thought you'd like it." she looked over at her.

"I... I do. It's a really nice house, but... I don't want to move. I... I love it at the loft. That's my home. Since Roger and I got engaged I've lived there and... I wish your brother would stop being so impulsive." she looked around before turning the faucet on for a glass of water.

"He wasn't being impulsive Jami. He was trying to do what was best for you, Davis, Michael and Frankie. He worries about you guys living in the city. And with the boys in school now, he worries about their safety. He just doesn't want the kids walking through metal detectors to get an education. His heart was in the right place." she looked over at her.

"Yeah, but the loft means a lot to us. A lot's happened in the loft." she looked over at her.

"And a lot can happen here too. Jami, why don't you take a look around? There's 4 bedrooms on the second floor and 2 more in the attic. There's a laundry room right over there, a huge back yard, a deck right off of the master bedroom and a full bathroom down here, 2 and a half baths. Plus, there's a finished basement, where Roger can set up a recording studio and Mark can set his stuff up. Jami, you've given Roger so much. Let him give this to you." Heather walked over to her.

"He's given me too much already Heather. Davis, Frankie, a love that I never thought I'd have. But a house Heather? It's... it's too much." she looked over at her.

"That's not the way he sees it. He just wants you and your children to have a safe place to call home. He wants the kids to grow up the way we did. There's nothing wrong with that." she smiled at her.

"I... I can't be the kind of wife who lives in a house like this. The cooking, baking... Heather, do you really see me joining the PTA?" she asked leaning on the center island.

"Jami, he doesn't expect you to be anything you're not. He's happy with his life. He just wants to have it in a safe environment for his family. He wants to give everyone a good life, while he can." she looked over at her.

"How? How did he pay for all of this?" she asked looking over at her.

"The record company. He said that between the tour and the album sales, that he was able to pay it all off."

"I... I can't believe this is our house." she looked at her sister in law.

"Do you want to look around?" Heather smiled at her.

"I should, right? I'm gonna need to know the lay out of my house." she smirked at her.

"Yeah, you really should. It's a great place Jami. I wish me and Noah could afford a place like this." she smiled at her.

"Yeah well, it's huge. With the two of you, you'd get lost." Jami laughed.

"Not exactly the two of us." Heather beamed looking at Jami.

"You're not..." she smiled as Heather nodded. "This is great. Does anyone know?" she asked.

"Only you, me and Noah. He wanted to tell everyone tomorrow at dinner, but then I remembered that first Thanksgiving you and Roger were together and you..." she started.

"Yeah, that was a great weekend and a really rough weekend at the same time." Jami looked over at her.

"It's when I knew you and Roger were gonna make it." she smiled at her.

"How? We fought when I got home from the hospital." she laughed.

"That's why. Roger was so used to women giving in to his every whim. When you yelled at him about how you were handling the ectopic pregnancy, and then whyen he came back... that was the moment I knew that you guys were the real deal." she smiled at her.

"That ectopic pregnancy really shook him up. The thought of losing me..."

"But he didn't. You guys survived and now you're married, you have a beautiful son and you're pregnant with a daughter. Your second screen play is almost done filming and Roger's working on his third studio album. You really have made it." Heather smiled at her.

"And now after everything he's been through to get the career he wanted, he wants to live right back where he started."

"There's nothing wrong with that. We had a good childhood." Heather hugged her sister in law.

"Now, so are our kids." she looked over at her.

"Come on. I'll show you around." Heather smiled as they left the kitchen. Roger sat on the floor coloring with his son, he looked up and smiled when he saw the smile on his wife's face. Mark and Maureen had yet to arrive at the house, but she knew they had other things to do.

"Are we good?" he asked getting up from the floor.

"Come on big boy. Show me around this palace of ours." she smiled up at him.

"With pleasure Baby." he smiled taking her hand to show her around their house. Heather was right. It was beautiful. The upstairs actually had 2 master suites. Hers and Roger's room had a full bath with a beautiful bathtub and Mark and Maureen's had a half bath with a shower on the third floor. The house was already furnished and it was ready to move in to.

"I can't believe you did all this behind my back." she looked up at him, sitting in the rocking chair in Frankie's nursery.

"I wanted to surprise you James. Do you remember, the first time we came to visit my mom?" he asked kneeling in front of her.

"Of course I do. We got engaged that weekend." she smiled at him.

"And you loved it here." he smiled at her.

"Yeah, after my initial anxiety attack, I did. It was fun and so relaxing here. Not like the city." she looked down at him.

"It was fun growing up here. I got to ride my bike until dark and play outside with my friends. Davis and Michael can't do that in the city. I... I want the kids to have the life I had living here." he squeezed her hand.

"I'm afraid to ask, but is there a car in the garage or are you waiting for Christmas?" she smirked at him.

"There's um... kind of..." he started before getting up from the floor.

"OK, I have one request then." she struggled to get up from the rocking chair.

"Anything Baby." he looked over at her.

"Teach me how to drive." she looked over at him.

"You want to learn how to drive?" he asked looking over at her.

"Well I am a mom and if I'm gonna be living in the suburbs, I'm gonna need to learn how to drive. Especially since I have a feeling Davis and Michael are gonna be gung ho into turning me into a soccer mom or something along those lines." she laughed looking up at him.

"My guess would be football. Like father like son." he laughed wrapping his arms around her expanded waist.

"And what about poor Michael. He's got Mark's genes in him." she laughed.

"Yeah, but he's all me Baby." he laughed leaning down to kiss her.

"OK, why don't you show me this car in the garage? And where you plan on putting the recording studio." she smiled up at him.

"Oh, Heather told you about that, huh?" he looked down at her.

"Yeah, I think it's great. It'll be really good for you." she smiled caressing his chest.

"OK Baby. Let's go." he reached down to take her hand, leading her out of the baby's bedroom and down the stairs.


	89. Chapter 89

One week following Thanksgiving, Roger, Jami, Mark and Maureen are packing up the loft. The boys are tossing their toys into their boxes and Jami is packing clothes and personal effects into boxes strewn all over the bedroom. Roger is sitting in the closet going through things, when he came across a box with pictures of Mimi, Angel and April. "What are you doing in there? We're supposed to be packing." Jami looked down at him.

"I... I found some stuff." he stuttered getting up, bringing the box to the bed.

"What's that?" she looked down as he held a pile of pictures in his hand. "Is that April?" she asked looking down at the picture on top of the pile in his hand.

"Mhm." he nodded handing the pile to her.

"How come I never saw these?" she asked flipping through the pictures. Some were of April and Maureen, others showed April and Roger together. Young and in love.

"They were in the back of the closet. I... I guess I forgot about them." he looked down at her.

"She was beautiful. You obviously loved each other." she smiled at the pictures.

"We were young and stupid. We thought we were invincible." he looked down at her.

"I know Roger. But it didn't make you stupid. You didn't realize that you wouldn't be young and carefree forever." she smiled up at him.

"Pretty much." he smiled kissing her head.

"Come on, let's pack these things up. We have a big, beautiful house to get to." she smiled at him.

"Yes Baby." he smiled wrapping his arms around her pregnant body.

"Let me go check on the boys. You just stick to the books and pictures and stuff. I don't want you messing up my nicely folded clothes." she smiled up at him.

"Sure Baby." he chuckled watching her leave the room. Jami made her way to the boys room before stopping short of the door. She heard them talking, so she decided to listen in.

"How cool is it gonna be to live in a big huge house?" Michael asked looking over at them.

"Yeah, and my grandma and my aunt and uncles are gonna be right there. We can play with Uncle Doug and Uncle Chris anytime we want." Davis told him excitedly.

"Do you think we're gonna get a pool?" Michael asked looking over at him.

"I don't know. But I'm really gonna miss living here." he looked at him.

"Davis, we can have our own rooms again. And we can go outside all the time. Just like your dad said. We could ride bikes like he used to." he smiled at him.

"Yeah, it's gonna be so cool." he looked over at him. His green eyes lit up as he spoke to him. Jami smiled at the conversation the boys were having. She stepped out from behind the wall and entered the room.

"Hey boys. How's it going in here?" she asked smiling at them.

"Awesome. We're almost done packing. Can we sleep in our house tonight?" Davis asked looking up at his mother.

"If we hurry up, maybe we can." she smiled at them.

"Thanks Aunt Jami. Come on Davis. Let's hurry up." Michael looked over at his cousin.

"Thanks mommy." he smiled up at her.

"No problem sweetie." she smiled down at them as she approached Mark and Maureen's room to check on them. "How's it going in here?" Jami asked knocking on the door.

"Great, we're almost done. Do you need help bringing some of the boxes down to the minivan? We're gonna start packing stuff in the Range Rover." Maureen asked excitedly.

"Sure, that would be great. The boys are almost done in their room." she smiled at them.

"They're really excited, aren't they?" Mark asked smiling at her.

"Yeah, I can't believe we're actually leaving this place." she looked over at him.

"Jami, it's for the best. I mean, the boys get to grow up in a real neighborhood like we did. They deserve better than living in an industrial loft like starving artists." he smiled over at her.

"We're hardly starving anymore Mark."

"True, but think about it. They can't wait to learn how to ride bikes like we did when we were little. They need this Jami. They're growing boys." Maureen smiled at her.

"Yeah, you're right. But this place holds a lot of great memories for us. The first dinner Roger made me was right here in this loft. We made love for the first time that night and sat at the window seat most of the night talking. It was the most romantic, magical night of my life." she smiled remembering that fateful night.

"Everything's gonna be OK Jami. We can make wonderful new memories at the new house with Frankie and the boys. You'll see. Everything is gonna be awesome." Maureen smiled at her.

"I know." she smiled.

"What's Roger up to?" Mark asked taping a box closed.

"He's going through all the non clothing items. I don't trust him not to just throw them into the box. They'll get wrinkled." she laughed looking over at them.

"Yeah well, that's why he needs you James. To save him from wearing wrinkled clothes." Mark laughed.

"I'd like to think he needs me for more than just that." she smiled at him.

"Don't worry Jami, he does." Maureen smiled as they finished packing.

4 hours later they were in New Jersey, pulling into their driveway. Roger, Mark and Maureen were unpacking the minivan and the Range Rover as Jami and the boys went inside to make lunch. They had all been so busy packing, they didn't eat in the city. Mrs. Davis and Heather had gone food shopping so the refrigerator and pantry was fully stocked. Jami made sandwiches while Davis and Michael sat at the counter laughing. "Hey, Mrs. Davis. Can Michael and Davis come out and play?" Doug asked carrying boxes into the house.

"Douglas. Boy, am I glad to see you." she smiled at him.

"Yeah, well my brother is getting to be an old man. I figured he could use a young, vibrant guy like me to give him a hand." he laughed as Roger came up behind him, putting him in a headlock.

"I'll give you old man little brother." he laughed.

"Calm down boys. I don't want you getting the young ones wound up. I'm making lunch, do you want a sandwich Doug?" she asked looking over at him.

"Sure James, I'm starving." he smiled at her sitting next to Davis at the counter.

"And you wonder why we put you at the kids end of the table at every holiday." Roger laughed at him.

"Hey, ma's at work and I'm starving. So as long as I don't have to make my own lunch. I'm in." he smiled up at his brother.

"You're not gonna be coming over here so my wife can feed you every day, so forget it Dougie." Roger looked over at him.

"Roger, would you leave him alone. With you, Mark and Maureen in the city working every day, I'm gonna need some company. I'll go insane being stuck in this house all by myself while the boys are in school. Especially since my husband won't teach me how to drive until after Frankie is born." she smirked at Roger.

"You have to wait until the baby is born. Learning how to drive takes a lot of concentration. Having a baby stuffed in your belly is not conducive to concentration." he walked over to her.

"Fine, but you can't expect me to stay in this house all alone until she's born." she looked up at him.

"I didn't say you'd be all alone." he smiled slyly at her.

"What... what does that mean Roger?" she asked confused and concerned at his tone.

"Well, you know I want to put a studio in the basement, right?" he looked down at her.

"Yeah?" she answered cautiously.

"Well, I was thinking that I could start on renovating it on Monday." he smiled at her.

"So you're gonna be here building the studio?" she asked looking up at him.

"That's the general idea, yeah." he smiled wider.

"How long would that take? Approximately?" she asked looking into his green eyes.

"Between running the electrical, putting up the soundproof walls, getting the equipment in, I'd say about 2 weeks, maybe a month. Give or take." he smiled.

"So, until the baby's born. Give or take." she smiled folding her arms to rest on her pregnant belly.

"Pretty much, yeah." he laughed wrapping his arms around her.

"Ugh, you are impossible." she laughed bowing her head.

"But you love me anyway." he whispered in her ear.

"Yep." she lifted her head smiling at him.

"I love you too James." he smiled leaning down to kiss her.

"Um... mommy, can we have our lunch now?" Davis asked smiling at his parents.

"Sure sweetie. I'm coming." she smiled as Roger let go of her so she could finish making lunch.


	90. Chapter 90

It's Christmas time and the holiday is in full swing at the Davis/ Cohen household. Roger and Mark bang around the basement trying to get the studio in order. Maureen's been spending a lot of time at rehearsal, trying to be ready the January 2nd opening of the play. The Christmas shopping has been done for weeks, since Mrs. Davis, Heather and Maureen dragged Jami to the mall to do the shopping. Jami always hated shopping, but the three of them treated it as if it were a sport. She was at their mercy. Her late December appointment for her cesarean section is quickly approaching and she could not be more anxious. Being pregnant had it's moments, but by her 9th month, she's ready to hold her baby in her arms. Frankie's nursery is all set up and ready to be slept in. It's the room right across the hall from Jami and Roger's and the more she looks at the door that has wooden letter spelling out Frances on it, the more she is looking forward to having her daughter sleeping in there, rather than dancing on her bladder constantly.

She is in the kitchen making lunch for her two sets of boys. Her son and nephew in the playroom on the first floor and her husband and best friend in the basement, building their studio. As expected, Mark is not much of a carpenter, so Roger's doing most of the work down there. "Boys, lunch." she bellows from the kitchen so they can all hear her. She hears the younger ones running in from their playroom and the two older ones are trudging up the stairs. No doubt, dragging dust with them from the sheet rock and wood they're working with down there.

"Mmm, what did you make?" Roger asked opening the door, tracking dust on the floor with him.

"Tuna fish. Um... do you mind? I just mopped there this morning." she asked looking up at him. Visibly aggravated.

"Sorry Baby. I'll clean it up after lunch. I promise." he smiled leaning down to kiss her head.

"Thank you. I just don't want to spend my life cleaning this place." she looked up at him.

"I know James. But once the studio is done, there will be no more dust from me. I swear." he smiled washing his hands in the sink.

"And when can I expect that to happen?" she asked putting the sandwiches on the table for the younger boys.

"By the end of the year. Early next, tops." he grinned at her as she smirked back.

"Yeah, just in time for your daughter's arrival, right?" she set her hands on her expanded hips.

"Well with Doug working again, I'm doing it on my own so it's taking a little longer." he looked over at her as Mark chimed in.

"Hey, I'm helping." he looked up at her before taking a bite of his sandwich.

"Oh? The Cohen's have a reputation for carpentry now?" she teased looking down at him as Roger laughed.

"Hey, Jesus was Jewish and a carpenter." he pointed out, talking with his mouth full.

"Sorry to break it to you Mark Hiam, but Jesus you ain't." Roger told him, bursting out laughing.

"Jesus is dead daddy. Why would you want to be Jesus?" Michael asked looking up at his father.

"Guess I wouldn't buddy." he laughed looking down at his son.

"Mommy, after lunch can me and Michael go to grandma's?" Davis asked looking up at her.

"I don't see why not. It'll give me time away from these two jokers." she chuckled looking over at Roger and Mark.

"You know you love us Baby." Roger smiled at her.

"Oh yeah, I love hearing 'bang, bang, bang, damn' whenever Mark picks up the hammer." she laughed at him.

"It's really funny Baby. You should come down and see it." Roger laughed with her.

"You two are hysterical, you know that?" Mark asked looking over at them.

"As amusing as it sounds, I can't. The dust isn't good for the baby." she smiled caressing her fully pregnant belly.

"How is my girl doing, anyway?" he asked getting up to go to her.

"Fine. She's kicking the crap out of mommy's kidneys today, but otherwise, OK." she looked up at him.

"Don't give mommy a hard time princess, OK? She's a special lady." he placed his hand on her belly before leaning down to kiss her.

"Me and Michael are done mommy. Can we get our coats on now?" Davis asked looking up from the table.

"Sure, just make sure you clean your hands and face, OK? I'm sure you two smell like tuna fish." she smiled at them.

"OK mommy. Come on Michael." he smiled before doing upstairs with his cousin.

"He's getting cabin fever being stuck in here all day." she looked up at him.

"Apparently. Maybe tomorrow I'll take a break from the studio and me and Mark can take them out to play in the snow." he suggested looking down at her.

"That sounds like a good idea. They've been wanting to go out there since it came down." she laughed looking up at him.

"Cool. We better get back down there. I wanna get more done before Christmas." he smiled leaning down to kiss her.

"OK Baby. And remember you have to put the boys bikes together tomorrow night when they go to bed." she reminded him.

"Already done." he smiled at her.

"What do you mean it's already done? When did you find the time for that?" she asked looking up at him.

"Last night. When you went to bed, I couldn't sleep so I got up and did it. They're in the basement as we speak." he smiled at her.

"You are Super Dad, Baby." she smiled kissing him again.

"That's what I've been saying, but does anyone listen to me? Nope." he teased.

"Very funny Mr. Davis." she laughed.

"Yes I am Mrs. Davis." he kissed her before putting his plate in the garbage and him and Mark headed back downstairs.

"Mommy we're ready." Davis called out snapping Jami out of her thoughts.

"OK, my sweetie." she smiled to herself before getting her coat on and leaving the house to walk to her mother in laws house.


	91. Chapter 91

Christmas morning. Roger, Jami, Mark and Maureen are sitting in the living room while the boys play with their toys. Roger's arm is around Jami's shoulders and her head is on his shoulder. They're all exhausted. Between the move, getting ready for Christmas and the boys getting up at the crack of dawn, they're wiped out already. Jami looks up at the grandfather clock on the other side of the room and lifts her head in a panic. "Your mom is gonna be here in an hour to start getting ready for Christmas dinner. I better get this room picked up." she told him, starting to get up.

"Why don't you relax? I'll do it." he smiled kissing her head.

"Yeah, but I have to get the kitchen in order for her. You know how she is." she looked up at him.

"You need your rest Baby. Frankie's not getting any smaller and you're gonna wear yourself out." he got up from the couch, starting to pick up the wrapping paper that was strewn all over the living room.

"Roger, you can't do everything, you know? At least let me clean up the breakfast dishes." she looked over at him.

"Nope, I'm doing that Jami. You rest." Maureen smiled at her, getting up from her seat on the couch.

"Ugh, and I suppose you're gonna help the boys clean up their toys?" Jami smirked over at Mark.

"Nope. I'm just gonna sit here and relax. I'm exhausted." he joked getting up.

"Cohen." Roger called out at him as Mark laughed.

"Yeah James. I'm helping them clean up their mess down here. You can help them get their clothes out. I'm pretty sure they're old enough to dress themselves." he laughed.

"It's the least I can do. After all, it's the first Christmas in our new house. I can't just sit here and do nothing." she looked over at him.

"You're not doing nothing Baby. You're incubating our daughter. She's almost ready and you need all the rest you can get at this point. You heard the doctor. If we want to do stuff for you, let us." Roger smiled leaning over her before reaching down to kiss her.

"You're an impossible man Davis, you realize that?" she laughed looking up at him.

"I think you've told me that once or twice." he laughed kissing her again.

"Come on boys. Grandma should be here soon and since daddy won't let me do anything down here, I'll get you boys dressed." she smiled struggling to get up when Roger quickly helped her.

"Can me and Davis ride our bikes, Aunt Jami?" Michael asked as they got up from the pile of toys they had just received.

"There's snow outside sweetheart. You can't ride your bike in the snow, silly." she laughed looking down at him.

"When can we ride them mommy?" Davis asked looking up at her.

"As soon as the snow is gone, daddy and Uncle Mark will teach you how to ride them, OK?" she promised them.

"Yay! I can't wait for the snow to go away." Michael called out running up the stairs as Jami struggled. She felt a twinge of pain in her belly about halfway up. She gripped her belly with one hand and the banister with the other before taking a deep breath. When the pain subsided, she continued her journey up the stairs. Roger and Mark were cleaning the living room and Maureen was in the kitchen, so no one saw her.

Later that day, the house was a buzz of activity. Mrs. Davis and Roger were in the kitchen. They were bickering over how to make dinner. Mark, Michael and Davis were playing with the toy train set that was set up in the playroom. Chris, Doug and Noah were watching the pre game show of one of the football games that were on that day. Maureen and Heather were playing with the stereo, driving the men crazy and Jami was standing in the doorway of the playroom taking pictures of Mark and the boys with the new digital camera Mrs. Davis had given her. The boys looked like they were really enjoying themselves. It felt like a real Christmas. She was in her own house and things were picture perfect. She continued to feel twinges in her belly, but they would soon go away and not come back for a while. She smiled before turning around and going into the kitchen to see how the Davis/ Cohen Christmas dinner was coming.

"Roger you can't put cranberries in the stuffing." Mrs. Davis yelled as Roger was attempting to put fresh cranberries in the stuffing bowl.

"Why not? They taste really good. I do it all the time." he asked. His voice squeaking as he did so.

"Because it'll taste weird. Just do it like I do, please." she yelled at him.

"Ma, can you just let me do it? You might like it. James does." he looked down at her.

"Fine. You want your stuffing to taste funky, knock yourself out." she surrendered.

"You're just afraid you'll like it and I'll be right." he taunted pouring the cranberries into the stuffing.

"Ugh, you're impossible." she laughed watching him.

"You two sound like Roger and Maureen." Jami pointed out entering the room.

"Your husband is impossibly stubborn." Mrs. Davis pointed out.

"Yeah, I learned just to let him do what he's gonna do. Usually it turns out really good." she smiled at her mother in law.

"I'm just creative." he smiled at her. Just at that moment, Jami felt another twinge, she unconsciously clutched her belly before reaching up for the counter. "Baby, is everything OK?" he rushed over to her.

"Yeah, Frankie's just getting excited. I'm OK." she looked up at him.

"No, you're not OK. We should get you to the hospital right away." Mrs. Davis pointed out, seeing her that her daughter in laws face was beet red.

"My mom's right. I'm getting you to the hospital right now." Roger insisted taking hold of his wife.

"Fine Roger. I'll... I'll go. Mom, please take care of my boy, OK?" Jami looked over at her.

"As long as you take care of yourself and my granddaughter." she smiled at her.

"Deal." she smiled as they rushed into the living room.

"What's going on?" Heather asked going over to them.

"Probably nothing, but James has twinges and I thought it would be smart idea. Stay with ma to help with the boys." Roger looked over at her, helping Jami on with her coat.

"I want Heather there. I... I need my sister." Jami looked up at him.

"I'll get my jacket. Noah, Chris and Doug can help mom with the boys." Heather looked over at Noah, Chris and Doug who nodded.

"Mommy, where are you going?" Davis asked running to the door as Maureen informed Mark on what was going on.

"I have to go to the hospital my sweet boy. Just to make sure me and your sister are OK. Don't worry sweetie. I'm OK." she smiled down at him trying to ease her sons fears.

"Mommy, is Frankie coming now?" he asked looking up at her.

"We don't know little man, but I have to take care of mommy now, so why don't you go play with Michael and I'll call to let you know what's going on, OK?" Roger smiled putting his jacket on.

"Take care of mommy and Frankie, OK daddy." he insisted looking up at him.

"I will bud. I promise." he leaned down to kiss his sons head as they left the house for the hospital. They piled into the minivan and went to the hospital. Maureen called the doctor from her cell phone on the way to make sure he knew they were coming. They were told that the hospital would be informed that Jami was to be booked into an operating room immediately upon her arrival. They were doing a cesarean section right away. The doctor didn't want to risk her water breaking and possible contamination to the baby. She called the house to let everyone know what was going on as they approached the hospital.

Upon entering the hospital and were rushed right up to the maternity ward. Roger changed into a surgical gown and Jami was prepped for surgery. Mark, Maureen and Heather sat in the waiting room anxious for everything to be OK for Jami and her daughter.


	92. Chapter 92

It's been a little less than an hour since Jami was brought into the operating room. Mrs. Davis, Chris, Doug, Noah, Michael and Davis entered the hospital to keep Maureen, Mark and Heather company until Roger came out to let them know how Jami and Frankie were doing. Meanwhile, in the operating room, the doctor prepared Jami for her cesarean section. "Is everything OK?" Roger asked looking up at the doctor as they gave Jami her anesthesia.

"It looks like her water is beginning to rupture. We need to get in there right away to get the baby out. The last thing we want is cross contamination between Jami and the baby." the doctor looked down at them, as Roger stroked Jami's head.

"She could be positive, couldn't she?" Jami asked fighting back her tears.

"There's a good chance that she's fine Jami. You need to believe that. Just let me get in there and get her out. You'll have a daughter within the hour, OK?" he looked down at her optimistically.

"OK." she whispered looking over at Roger. "She has to be OK Roger. She just has to." she looked up at him.

"She is OK James. I promise. Davis is OK and so is Frankie." he reassured her, kissing her head gently. The doctor began performing the cesarean section as Roger and Jami waited to meet their daughter. Roger couldn't help but think about the reason why they worried about these things. It was him. His own carelessness with the woman he loved more than he had ever loved anyone in his life that made her positive. Putting their children in danger. Their son was negative, but now they had to go through the same anxiety they had gone through with Davis with their daughter. He stroked Jami's hair tenderly as the doctor did the cesarean section.

Less than an hour later, he exited the recovery room, where they had placed Jami to rest after her procedure to inform his friends and family of the birth of their daughter. He wiped the tears of joy from his tired, green eyes and approached the waiting room. Davis and Michael were playing with toys they had brought with them as Noah and Heather knelt next to them. The rest of his family was laughing, telling stories about Roger and Jami when they first had Davis. It made him smile seeing his family so happy. It was, after all, Christmas day and they all looked so happy to be spending it in the hospital awaiting the birth of another member of the Davis family. He entered the room, with a big smile on his face. "How are they?" Heather asked jumping up from her position next to her nephews.

"Great. Jami's resting now and Frankie is gorgeous. Just like her mama." he smiled at them.

"Congratulations Roger." his mother smiled getting up from her seat to hug her son. "When can we see them?" she asked.

"Frankie's getting cleaned up, so you guys can see her in the nursery in a little while, but James really needs her rest. They gave her something to help her sleep. It's been a long day." he ran his fingers through his hair.

"What happened Roger?" Chris asked looking at his younger brother, knowing there was more.

"Nothing. My girls are going great." he cracked a smile.

"Don't bullshit me, Roger. I know there's more." he called him on it.

"There was a rupture in the amniotic sac and her water started to break. They're worried about cross contamination between James and Frankie. Because of the HIV." he looked at his brother.

"Yeah, Rog. We know why they're worried." Chris snapped before taking a deep breath. "What are the chances of her being positive because of it?" he asked looking over at him.

"Christopher, let him finish." Mrs. Davis looked up at her oldest son before directing her attention back to Roger.

"They don't know. The doctor said that there is a small chance, but we won't know anything until she older. Just like with Davis." he looked over at him.

"Everything is gonna be just fine. You'll see. You got her here quickly. You took care of them Roger. That's all you could have done." Mrs. Davis reached up to touch her sons upper arm.

"I know ma. I just hope it was enough." he looked down at her. "I don't even want to think about how Jami would take it if Frankie's positive because of me."

"Not because of you. Roger, Jami loves you more than anything. She doesn't blame you for anything." Heather smiled looking up at her brother.

"Yeah, but I do squirt." he spoke quietly as everyone looked on at his inner guilt.

About 3 hours later, Roger sat at Jami's bedside, holding her hand as she slept. He caressed the back of her hand with his thumb as he smiled up at his beautiful wife. She began waking up before tilting her head towards him as her eyes flickered open. "Hey." she whispered, her throat dry from the medication they gave her to help her sleep after the cesarean section.

"Hey, Baby. How do you feel?" he asked, still clutching her hand in his, holding it to his stubbly cheek.

"A little sore." she looked over at him. "How's the baby?" she asked.

"Great. She's the most beautiful baby in the nursery." he smiled leaning up to kiss her forehead.

"I'm sure she is. Is she OK?" she asked looking over at him.

"She seems to be for now. The... the doctor said we won't know anything until she's older. But she's gonna be OK James." he reassured her.

"How do you know Roger? I... I ignored my contractions for a couple of hours and now because of it..." she started when he interrupted her.

"You have to believe Baby. She's gonna be fine." he insisted caressing her hand.

"You're right. I'm... I'm sorry. Is... is everyone here?" she asked looking up at him.

"Yep. Davis couldn't wait to meet his little sister." he smiled.

"I bet. She's gonna be such a spoiled little girl." she smiled struggling to sit up in the bed.

"I think that would be a safe assumption." he laughed looking over at her. "Your mom should be here tomorrow morning." he smiled.

"Oh great. She's gonna baby me like she did after Davis was born." she looked over at him.

"She's your mother James. It's her first instinct. Give her a break." he smiled up at her.

"Pick an arm and I'm there." she joked looking down at him.

"Are you ready for some visitors?" he smiled at her.

"I think I can stand to see a few people." she answered.

"How about 11?" he laughed looking up at her.

"11? Geez, is there any room for patients up here." she laughed, holding her stomach.

"Hey, you're a very popular mama." he lifted her hand to his lips, kissing it tenderly.

"My own personal entourage." she laid her head back against the pillow, smiling at him.

"Yep." he smiled getting up slowly before letting go of her hand to go to the door to retrieve their family.


	93. Chapter 93

It's 5 years later. Davis is 11, Michael is 12 and Frankie is a 5 year old kindergartner. Jami is very busy between driving Davis to football practice and is taking guitar lessons, Michael to soccer practice, then to his piano lessons and Frankie to her dance then voice lessons. She wanted to sing just like her parents. Jami was thankful that she had Roger teach her how to drive so she could get her license. The driving for the kids alone made it worth it to learn how to drive. Jami still writes, but she is mainly writing a screenplay about her friends. She's also sings with Roger in their studio, working on his 4th studio album. He toured with the band for a little while until Frankie was 2, but he didn't like being away from his wife and children, so he just performs in clubs and at colleges around the tri state area, so Jami could perform with him. He enjoys singing with his wife and she likes to get out of the house every once in a while with Roger.

It's June and there are only a few days left of school. The kids are excited to have the summer to play outside and stay up late. Heather runs a day camp that her son Eric goes to, so Davis, Michael and Frankie go there as well. Davis and Michael are in with the older kids while Frankie and Eric stay with the kids their own age. On this day, the kids are still in school, so Roger and Jami are in the studio recording. Jami is arguing over singing time, as usual. "Roger would you stop that. You're driving me crazy." she yelled looking up at him as he stood next to her.

"I don't understand why you're so pissed? Most singers like to sing alone." he smiled taking the headphones off of his head.

"Ugh, how many times do I have to tell you? I'm not a singer. I'm just singing with you. That's it." she took her headphones off and set them on the stool she had just gotten up from.

"Yet you perform with me all the time and this is your..., what? Your third album?" he looked over at her confused.

"I only do this for you Roger. I... like singing with you. I always did. I never did it to be a singer. You know that." she looked over at him before sitting in the corner of the studio.

"I know James. You keep saying that you just do this playing around, but Baby I'm telling you. If you ever want to dedicate yourself to this, you have what it takes to be up there." he smiled at her.

"Oh no, you're not doing this again. You're not making me a rock star. That's... that's not me. We've been through this a million times." she got up from the chair to leave the studio. She began climbing the stairs to the main level when Roger took hold of her wrist, stopping her in her tracks.

"What are you afraid of James?" he asked holding her wrist gently.

"I'm afraid of taking the one thing you have away from you. The one thing you've wanted and worked for your whole life. OK?" she told him quietly before turning around and walking up the stairs. He stood at the bottom of the stairs, staring up at his wife as she opened and closed the basement door. He shook himself out of his thoughts before taking the steps. Two at a time.

"James, what are you talking about?" he asked opening the door. She was standing at the kitchen sink drinking a glass of water.

"This. Music. That's your thing Roger. It's always been your thing. I... I don't want to piggy back on your dream. I do have my own." she looked over at him.

"But I want you to piggy back on me. I happen to like carrying you." he smiled walking over to her.

"Oh no, you're not getting all cute on me so I can fall all over you. That's not gonna work. Not this time." she set the glass down on the counter and walked away from him.

"Baby, why is it every time we record an album you argue with me over your singing time?" he looks over at her.

"I don't know, maybe because you add more and more with each album. You know I'm not comfortable doing this. Singing on your albums, in your band, performing on your stage." she looked over at him.

"But you belong there. You belong with me." he insisted.

"No Roger, I don't want to belong up there." she looked up at him.

"Why? You're too good not to be up there. Don't you want to be up there with me?" he asked reaching down for her hand.

"Yes. That's what scares me." she told him quietly.

"What?" he asked confused.

"The fact that I like being up there. I... I like singing with you. I just... I don't want to take away your time up there." she looked up at him with her hands on his muscular chest.

"You're not taking anything away from me James. You're giving me more than I thought I could have. The woman I love next to me, kickin' ass and rockin' out. Baby, I love being up there with you. Singing with the most amazing woman in the world is everything I ever wanted." he smiled taking her by her shoulders.

"And what about the kids?" she asked looking up at him.

"What about them?" he asked confused.

"The summer is coming. Who's gonna be with them while I'm out with you being Patti Smythe?" she laughed looking up at him.

"Take your pick. The one thing there's no shortage of around her is people who love being around the kids." he laughed leaning down to kiss her head.

"Yeah, I guess you're right. Ugh, I'm sorry that I have an anxiety attack every time we're doing an album." she looked up, flashing her bright blue eyes at him.

"That's OK. You have the temperament of a rock star. That's the first step. Don't sweat it Baby." he smiled holding her in his arms.

"Rock star. You know, I still get uncomfortable when you call me that." she looked up at him.

"Get over it James, you're a rock star. But not so much with the sex and the drugs." he laughed letting go of her to get a soda out of the refrigerator.

"Well we may be too old to partake in the drugs part, but I know I enjoy exploring the sex part with my sexy rock star husband." she told him, in a throaty, seductive voice.

"Mmm, an offer I can't refuse." he groaned setting his soda on the counter before picking his wife up and carrying her up the stairs to their bedroom, where they made love in an empty house.

"Even after all these years, you are the sexiest man on earth. You have ways of doing things to me that, ugh... I'm speechless." she giggled as she looked up at him admiringly.

"Glad to see I haven't lost my touch." he laughed caressing her naked back.

"You have definitely haven't lost your touch. You still leave me breathless." she laughed crawling up to kiss his sensual lips.

"Mmm, you inspire me." he laughed holding her in his arms.

"I'm glad I can help." she laughed laying down on this muscular chest.

"I never get sick of holding you in my arms." he whispered, leaning down to kiss her head.

"I like listening to your heartbeat and feeling your every breath. It... it's like every breath, every heartbeat is mine. Like your heart beats with me. For me." she whispered looking up at him.

"It is for you James. You're my reason for living and breathing." he smiled kissing her pouty lips.

"Ugh, you always know what to say to make me weak all over." she sighed laying on his chest again.

"Hello. Songwriter." he laughed holding her tight to his body.

"Right. Silly me." she laughed enjoying the feel of him.

"I better start getting dressed. I have to pick the kids up from school in a little while, then get them to their lessons." he smiled down at her.

"How about I get Michael and Frankie? That way, you can go to Davis' guitar lesson with him. I know he'd like to show you what he's learning. He's been working very hard." she propped herself up onto her elbows, looking up at her husband.

"Good idea. I haven't been to a guitar lesson in a while. I know he'll like that." he smiled at her.

"No, he'll love that. He worships you. You're the reason why he's playing guitar. Ever since your mother showed him those pictures of you with your guitar. He's good too." she smiled at him.

"We better get cleaned up and dressed. The kids wouldn't like it very much if we forgot about them because we're laying in bed." he smiled down at her.

"You're right. That wouldn't make us good parents now, would it?" she laughed starting to get up.

"We're great parents James. We have a couple of great kids, you and me. We did good." he smiled up at her.

"Yeah, we really do. We're very lucky." she smiled at him before disappearing into the bathroom to get cleaned up. She thought about her kids and how lucky she was that they were both negative. Having positive parents, it was a miracle that both of their kids were healthy. Neither child knew what HIV was and they didn't know that their parents were HIV positive. They knew they would have to tell them eventually, but for now they just wanted their children to be happy and carefree. She finished getting cleaned up and began getting dressed to go pick up the kids from school. With Mark and Maureen in the city working, they were picking Michael up from school and taking care of him. They had a good life and didn't mind helping their friends as much as they could. They knew their friends would be stepping in for them when the inevitable happened to them.


	94. Chapter 94

Later that day, Roger and Davis return home from his guitar lesson. Roger is beaming with pride as Davis carries his guitar case into the house. Jami is in the kitchen with Frankie and Michael who are helping her make dinner. Mark and Maureen are due home any minute, so Jami is making a family dinner. Roger and Mrs. Davis have been working tirelessly to make her a cook and she seems to be taking to it. "Hey mom." Davis smiled stepping into the kitchen.

"Hey sweetie. How was your guitar lesson?" she smiled sensing that it went well by the look of pride on Roger's face.

"Awesome. Dad got to hear me play your song. The one he wrote for you before us kids." he smiled at her.

"Very cool sweetheart. I'm so proud of you." she smiled looking up at Roger.

"He was incredible Baby." he smiled at her.

"You better run Davis. Your father might try to recruit you to play with the band like he recruited me." she laughed as Roger stuck his tongue out at her.

"Do you really think I'm good enough to be in dad's band?" Davis asked looking over at her.

"You are definitely good enough, bud. I'd be honored to have you up there with me and your mom." he smiled at his son.

"What about me daddy? Can I sing with you, mommy and Davis too?" Frankie asked looking over at her father.

"To have you up there shorty, I'd kick mommy off the stage." he joked picking up his daughter.

"Thanks a lot Baby. Nice to see you have some loyalty when it comes to the band." she yelled at him through her laughter.

"I'm only joking Baby. I'd never kick you off of my stage." he laughed holding his 5 year old daughter in his arms.

"Hey, if you want to replace me with a younger model, please go ahead. I never wanted to be a singer to begin with." she smiled at him.

"I'd never trade you in Baby." he smiled at his beautiful wife.

"But I want to sing with you too daddy. My teacher said I'm really good too." Frankie smiled at him.

"I'm sure you are shorty. After all, look who your mama is." he smiled kissing his daughter's cheek.

"And how are your piano lessons going Michael? I think we have room for a pianist in our band." Jami smiled at her nephew.

"I'm getting pretty good I guess." he looked over at them as he got the dinner dishes out.

"What's the matter sweetie? Your teacher told me that you're really good." Jami looked over at him.

"Yeah, I guess. But I'm not as good as Davis." he looked up at her.

"You don't have to be as good as Davis, man. Just be you. That's good enough." Roger looked over at him.

"So I can really play with you guys?" Michael asked looking up at Roger, hopeful.

"Of course you can. You can do anything you want to do." he smiled at his nephew as Jami resumed making dinner for her family.

Just as Jami was putting dinner on the table, Mark and Maureen entered the house. They were laughing and holding hands. "Hey you two? What's so funny?" Jami smiled at them.

"Nothing, just... nothing." Maureen stuttered looking back at Mark before laughing again.

"Those two are getting weirder by the day." Jami chuckled going into the kitchen where Roger was finishing up dinner.

"And that surprises you?" he laughed taking a small piece of meatloaf that had broken off while he was cutting it.

"Guess not." she laughed getting the pitcher of iced tea out of the refrigerator.

"I'll take this out to the table and then call the kids down." he smiled kissing her head as he walked past her.

"Roger." she called out looking over at him.

"What's up Baby?" he asked looking down at her.

"Nothing. Just wanted you to know that you're the most amazing husband a girl could ask for." she smiled up at him.

"It's because of you. Before you the real Roger Davis didn't exist." he smiled before leaving to put the meatloaf on the table. She smiled to herself. Whenever Roger said things like that to her, she got a tingling in her toes. It made her laugh that Roger had this effect on her after 13 years together. She shook herself out of her thoughts and followed him out to the dining room.

As everyone sat down to dinner, Jami stared over at Mark and Maureen, who were acting strangely. "OK you two. You're driving me crazy. Why are you acting so weird?" Jami asked looking over at them.

"I guess it's OK to tell them." Maureen smirked over at Mark.

"Yeah, we might as well." he smiled taking Maureen's hand.

"We're pregnant again." Maureen smiled at them.

"That's great, you two. Oh my God, when did you find out?" Jami smiled excitedly at them.

"Last week. We didn't want to tell anyone until we went to the doctor to make sure. My appointment was this afternoon." Maureen smiled at them.

"What about your play?" Roger asked looking over at Maureen.

"It's closing next week. They told us last month. I've been auditioning for others but now with the baby, I'm thinking I can stay home so you can get back to your career." Maureen smiled at her.

"And which career would that be?" Jami muttered looking over at her.

"You're gonna be home all the time?" Michael smiled at her.

"And you're gonna be a big brother. How do you feel about that sweetie?" she asked looking over at him.

"It's gonna be really cool. That means you can take me to my piano lessons and Aunt Jami can go out and tour with Uncle Roger again. Like when we were little." he smiled at Jami.

"Just because your mom is gonna be home, it doesn't mean I'm gonna tour with Uncle Roger. What about Davis and Frankie? You guys are starting summer camp in a couple of weeks and your still have your lessons." Jami looked over at him.

"So, my mom could take care of them. I know Uncle Roger wants you to go on tour with him again." he smiled at his aunt.

"You know kid, you have to stop eavesdropping on me and your uncle." she smiled over at him.

"Sorry, can't help it. You aren't exactly quiet while you're yelling at Uncle Roger about singing and touring." he looked over at her.

"Don't worry Maureen. We would never leave you at the mercy of the three monsters. You have your hands full with Mark when you're pregnant." Jami laughed remembering when Maureen was pregnant with Michael. Her and Mark were touring with their film, so Roger took care of a pregnant Maureen in their absence. When Mark and Jami returned, Roger was the only one who could calm Maureen from her hormonal mood swings.

"Yeah, thanks Jami. Too bad all she ever wanted was Roger." Mark looked over at her as a pang of jealousy struck him.

"That's only because we were away on tour for a couple of months the last time. Roger took care of her while we were gone." Jami smiled at him.

"Yeah, I know it's just... I don't know I'm just glad I get to be here through the whole thing this time around." he smiled holding Maureen's hand.

"It's gonna be great Mark. You'll see." Roger smiled looking at his best friends, who were elated at the news of their impending parenthood.


	95. Chapter 95

It's the middle of the summer and Roger and Jami are performing at night and recording their album during the day. Nate and the rest of the band are at the Davis/ Cohen house regularly, driving Maureen crazy. She has taken over the task of obsessively cleaning the house. After all, it's the least she could do for Jami, who is continuing her music career with Roger. They're in the studio fighting as usual. Nate and the rest of the band find it a mystery that Roger insists on pushing Jami's buttons when it come to music. "Nate, will you please tell your buddy here that these lyrics I wrote suck?" she looked over at Nate as Roger smiled at her tauntingly.

"And will you please tell my wife that she always says that, but I'm never wrong when it comes to her songs?" Roger smiled with his arms folded against his chest.

"You two are not putting me in the middle of your demented little game of foreplay. I'm going upstairs for a drink. Dealing with a pregnant Maureen has got to be better than dealing with you two." he retorted before getting up and going up the stairs. The rest of the band followed, leaving Roger and Jami downstairs alone.

"Did they just say dealing with a pregnant Maureen is better than dealing with us?" Jami laughed looking over at him.

"It's your fault. You insist on yelling at me in front of them all the damn time." he laughed with her.

"Well you seem to think I'm a songwriter and I'm not." she laughed walking over to her.

"Yes you are Baby. You've written so many songs and every one of them are amazing. When are you gonna stop fighting it?" he asked wrapping his arms around her.

"Ugh, you're delusional, you do realize that, don't you?" she groaned before wrapping her arms around his neck, holding him to her.

"It's not my fault my girl is so talented." he whispered before leaning in to kiss her lips. The more he kissed her, the deeper the kisses became. As they stood in the middle of the studio kissing passionately, someone entered.

"Ugh, must you guys? You've been married for like a million years. When are you gonna grow up?" Nate complained before turning around to go back upstairs. Roger and Jami looked at each other before laughing.

"We have not been married a million years." Roger yelled before he heard the door slam behind Nate.

"Yes we have Roger." Jami informed him before leaning her head into his chest.

"But we're still cool, right?" he asked looking down at her.

"Until our kids are teenagers and they inform us that we're not." she laughed looking up at him.

"I don't know, my parents were always cool." he smiled at her.

"Not mine. Mama and papa were so ancient to me. I swore they were from another time." she smiled up at him.

"From what you told me, they were James." he smiled down at her.

"Yeah, I guess they were. But we're not, right? I mean, we're still young and cool."

"You bet your cute little ass we are." he groaned patting her behind before pulling her tight to him. Kissing her passionately.

"We better not. We have a house full of company." she broke the kiss.

"OK but don't make any plans for later. I want to finish this." he smiled down at her.

"Deal. Later I'm all yours." she smiled before letting go of him and going up the stairs with the rest of the band.

"Are you two done acting like teenagers, steaming up the car windows?" Nate asked looking over at them.

"Very funny Nate. You could only be so lucky to find a woman who could still be so much in love with you after all this time together." Roger teased wrapping his arms around Jami's waist from behind.

"Oh yeah, I long to be a pathetic teenage boy at your age." he teased looking over at them.

"Lunch anyone?" Maureen smiled trying to break the tension in the room.

"Mmm, I'm starving." Jami smiled breaking free of her husband's grasp.

"Yeah, getting felt up by your husband makes you work up quite an appetite, I bet." Nate muttered as the rest of the band laughed.

"You jokers are just jealous that you don't have women to feel up." Roger retorted like a high school sophomore.

"Roger. Oh my God." she squealed turning to him with her hands on her hips, embarrassed.

"Sorry Baby, when I'm around them, you know I get..." he started when Maureen interrupted him.

"Immature, adolescent, completely juvenile." she completed the sentence for him.

"Exactly." he laughed looking over at Jami.

"A trait that is getting less and less attractive with each passing year." she laughed picking up a sandwich from the tray of sandwiches Maureen had made for the band.

"Speaking of adolescents, where are Frankie and the boys?" Nathan asked looking over at him as the other band members ate their sandwiches.

"Day camp. We thought it would be good for them to be around other kids. Especially during the summer. They can't be expected to be cooped up in here all summer with me and James recording and performing." he looked up at him.

"Yep. Sounds good. Kids need to be free during the summer. It's their time to be free. God knows they're not gonna be able to do it when they get older." he looked at him before taking a bite of his sandwich.

"Yep. And with me and Jami spending more and more time recording and performing, they'd drive Maureen nuts hanging out here." he laughed over at him.

"Hey, day camp was your idea. I happen to love being around the kids. They keep me company while you and James are out doing your rock star thing." Maureen smiled at him.

"Maureen, you can't tell me that they don't drive you crazy sometimes. Especially when Michael and Davis are trampling down the stairs to go out to play." Jami smiled at her.

"They're boys Jami. That's what they do. Besides, they keep me on my toes. It's like having two Roger's in the house." she laughed looking over at her.

"Oh lord. You are a glutten for punishment, aren't you?" Jami laughed.

"I moved in here with you guys, so I guess so." Maureen laughed as the band ate their lunch.


	96. Chapter 96

2 and a half years later. Mark and Maureen's son James Roger is 2 years old, Michael and Davis are currently in High School and Frankie is in 3rd grade. Roger and Jami are due back from tour any day now and Davis has an orthodontist appointment, so Maureen picks him up from school to take him. She is sitting in the waiting room when her cell phone rings. It's Nate. "What happened?" she asked quietly getting up from her seat and walking into the hallway.

"The bus. It... it got into an accident. Roger's got a broken arm, but he's OK, but Jami... she hit her head and they said there was bleeding between her skull and her brain. She's... she's unconscious." he stuttered, clearly upset.

"Oh my god. Where are you?" she asked, attempting to stay calm.

"Pennsylvania. We... we were on our way to the hotel so we could rest up for tomorrow night's show and it was raining. We must have hit a patch of wet asphalt or something because the bus just lost control. The driver couldn't regain control in time before we hit the guard rail and went off the road." he informed her, watching Roger sit at Jami's bedside, holding her hand with his good arm.

"OK, I'm at the orthodontist with Davis, but when I get home I'll call you back. I... I need to take care of the kids. I'll call you back. I... I promise. I... I gotta go Nate." she stammered hanging up the phone quickly, seeing Davis exit the examining room. She took a deep breath before going back into the waiting room to retrieve him. "Are you ready sweetheart?" she asked.

"What's the matter Aunt Maureen?" he looked over at her, seeing something was off.

"Nothing honey, um... come on. Let's get home. Grandma is watching little James for me." she looked over at him before turning to leave the doctor's office.

"Can I call Izzy when we get home?" he asked looking over at her.

"Sure, sure sweetheart." she looked over at him, giving him a weak smile.

"Thanks." he smiled before getting into the car as Maureen cautiously drove home. When she arrived, Davis rushed up to his room, shutting the door behind him.

"How did the orthodontist go?" Mrs. Davis asked looking over at Maureen, who stood by the door. Her expression was blank. "Maureen, what happened?" she asked rushing over to her as James played in the living room.

"The tour bus got into an accident. Jami's unconscious." she whispered as her words hit her.

"Oh my god. Where? What about Roger?" she asked looking over at her.

"He has a broken arm, but he's otherwise OK. Jami's got bleeding between her skull and her brain. He's... he's by her bedside." she looked down, hiding the tears that were falling from her eyes.

"Where are they Maureen?" she asked looking over at her.

"Pennsylvania. The... the bus lost control on the wet asphalt and went off the road. Jami's unconscious." she looked up, tears falling from her eyes.

"I... I have to call Roger." she told her, reaching into her pocket for her cell phone.

"I... I told Nate I'd call him back when I got home. I... I need to go down into the studio. I don't want the kids to hear me." Maureen slowly reached into her purse for her cell phone.

"Go ahead sweetie. I don't think they should know anything until we know more. I got them." she looked over at her.

"Thanks... I... I'll be right back." she slowly began walking through the kitchen and down to the basement. There were pictures of Roger and Jami in that very studio. Roger was laughing as Jami smirked at him. Some of Jami singing and Roger looking on adoringly. She opened her phone and clicked on Nate's number. As the phone rang, she reached up for her favorite picture. It was of both Jami and Roger singing. He was standing behind her as they sang into the same microphone. She took it off of the wall and held it to her chest, holding back tears.

"Hello." Nate answered knowing it was Maureen.

"OK, I'm home. Tell me everything they know." she asked calming herself down.

"The doctors are trying to relieve the pressure of the bleed in her skull. They call it a subdural hemotoma. If they can't relieve the pressure they're gonna have to put in a stint to drain the blood." he explained watching Roger through the window of the ICU.

"What hospital Nate?" she asked calmly.

"Philly. They... they have the best neuro center in the state." he told her calmly.

"OK, um... we'll... we'll be there as soon as we can. Tell Roger to hang in there and we'll get Heather and Noah to stay with the kids." she told him.

"What did you tell them?" he asked curious.

"Nothing yet. We... we don't know what to tell them." she told him.

"I'm sure Roger doesn't want the kids to know, but you can't keep this from them. They're father has a broken arm and their mother is unconscious." he told her.

"I know Nate. They'll know something's up as soon as I look at them." Maureen said looking at the picture in her arms.

"Yeah, they're very perceptive. Being Roger and James' kids, I don't know why I'm surprised." he smirked over at Roger and Jami.

"Yeah, I... I guess I'll see you in a few hours. Take... take care of them Nate, OK?" she stammered fighting tears.

"I'll try Maureen. Bye." he hung up the phone before continuing to watch Roger in with Jami. Maureen took a deep breath before placing the picture back up on the wall and going up the stairs.

"What did he say? How are they?" Mrs. Davis asked looking over at her.

"Jami's still unconscious. Roger's OK. He hasn't left her since they got there." she looked over at her.

"Where are they?" she asked looking over at little James, who was sleeping on the floor.

"In a really good neuro hospital in Philly. I told him that we'll get Heather and Noah to watch the kids and we'd meet him there." she looked over at her.

"We shouldn't tell the kids. I... I know Roger wouldn't want that." she sat at the kitchen table.

"We have to tell them. They're not little kids. Davis is a teenager and Frankie is so much like her parents, it's scary." she looked over at her.

"I know, but... you know Roger wouldn't want them to be scared." she looked up at her.

"I think we should tell them. They're not little children anymore." she looked over at her.

"I know Maureen. I'm just... worried about my grandchildren and my son and... I can't believe this happened to them." she looked up at her, beginning to cry.

"I know mom. I... I'm scared too. But we can't keep this from them." she sat next to her.

"You're right. Roger is gonna be pissed, but we have to do what's best for those kids and not knowing what's going on with their parents is not what's best for them." she looked over at her.

"I know." she looked over at her, wiping her tears from her eyes.

"Aunt Maureen, how come mom and dad aren't answering their phones?" Davis asked entering the kitchen.

"Um... what sweetie?" she asked looking up at him.

"What's the matter? Is it mom and dad?" he asked looking down at her.

"Davis, sit down honey." Mrs. Davis looked up at her grandson.

"No, just tell me about mom and dad." he looked over at them impatiently.

"The tour bus got into an accident in Pennsylvania and your dad broke his arm." Maureen got up to go to her nephew.

"And mom. What... what about my mom?" he asked looking over at her.

"Your mom hit her head and she has some bleeding between her skull and her brain. She's unconscious. They... they don't know how bad it is. They're keeping an eye on her for right now. Until she wakes up." Maureen looked over at him.

"When can I go see her?" he asked looking over at her.

"I don't think it's such a good idea that you go see her right now. Your dad is with her and he doesn't need to worry about you and your sister seeing your mother lying in a hospital bed." she looked over at her.

"I'm 14 Aunt Maureen. I'm not someone he needs to worry about. I want to see my mom." he argued looking down at her.

"Davis, don't you think your place is here with your sister? She's gonna need to talk to you when she finds out about your parents." Mrs. Davis looked over at him.

"But grandma, it's my mom. She's hurt." he looked over at her.

"Your dad is with her and you know he would never let anything happen to her." Maureen smiled at her.

"I... I guess your right. Dad... dad doesn't need to worry about me. He... he needs to worry about taking care of mom and making sure she gets better." he agreed looking over at them.

"I know this is hard sweetie, but you need to trust your dad, OK? He loves your mom so much. He'll bring her home to you and your sister." Mrs. Davis smiled putting her arm around her grandson.

"Thanks grams. Um... Frankie and Michael will be home from school soon. We... we have to get ready to tell them about mom." he looked over at them.

"I'm gonna go call Heather and Noah and let them know what's going on. Then I have to go put a few things in a bag." Mrs. Davis looked over at Maureen.

"OK mom. I... I have to call Mark and have him meet us in Philly. We can pick him up at the train station." Maureen looked over at her.

"Can... can I go down to the studio for a minute?" Davis asked looking over at Maureen.

"Of course honey. That picture she likes is hanging right at the bottom of the stairs." Maureen smiled at him.

"Thanks Aunt Maureen." he looked over at her before going towards the basement door.

"That kid is his father's son." Mrs. Davis looked over at Maureen.

"Yeah, despite Jami's protest." Maureen crossed her arms watching the basement door.


	97. Chapter 97

In Philadelphia, Maureen, Mark and Mrs. Davis rush into the hospital, looking for the ICU. When they got upstairs, they saw Nate standing outside Jami's room. "How is she?" Maureen asked rushing down the hall.

"They... they just took her to surgery. Her stats dropped suddenly and they rushed her in to relieve the bleed. Roger's in there just crying. He... he won't let me in." he stuttered as Mrs. Davis looked through the window at her bruised and broken son. She opened the door and walked in.

"Dammit Nate. I said leave me the hell alone." he snarled without looking up. She could tell he was crying.

"Roger, I'm so sorry honey." she spoke quietly walking towards her son.

"Mom, she's... she's dying on me. I... I'm losing her." he cried as his mother wrapped her arms around him.

"You are not losing her Roger. She's gonna be fine. You have to believe that." she held him, crying with him.

"Mom, she... she's been unconscious for 7 hours. They... they said she should have woken up by now. But instead she's in surgery having blood drained from her skull. I'm losing her ma." he cried into his mother's shoulder.

"Your father wouldn't let anything happen to Jami. You have to believe that." she insisted looking down at him.

"Ma, we both know that dad doesn't have that kind of pull up there. I mean, James had the ectopic pregnancy all those years back, she wouldn't have gotten HIV and she sure as hell wouldn't be here." he looked up at her, angry.

"I'm... I'm sorry Roger." she whispered seeing how defeated her son was.

"I... I just need to be alone right now. Please." he looked up at her.

"Sure Roger. I'll... I'll just be right outside." she agreed looking down at him.

"Thanks... thanks ma." he said quietly before she left the room.

"How is he?" Mark asked looking down at her.

"Defeated. He... he can't believe this is happening. Neither can I. Why... why would this happen to them?" she cried as Mark wrapped his arms around her.

"I don't know mom. I... I just don't know." he whispered as he watched Roger's shoulders shake from crying uncontrollably. Nate and Maureen stared at Roger through the window and wrung their hands. They wanted to help him, but didn't know how. Suddenly Roger bolted up from his chair and pulled open the door with his good arm.

"My kids. Where... where are my kids?" he asked looking over at Mark, Maureen and his mother.

"They're at home with Heather and Noah. We didn't want you to have to worry about them. You need to concentrate on Jami." Maureen told him quietly.

"Do they know?" he asked looking down at her.

"Yeah Roger. We... we told them before we left. But they're OK. I mean, they just want you to bring Jami home." she answered.

"How could they possibly understand? I... I couldn't prevent this. One... one minute we were sitting on the bed in the back, laughing about her almost tripping the other night on stage and the next we were tumbling around the room. I... I tried to grab her, but... it all happened so fast." he cried looking over at them.

"This is not your fault Roger. The... the bus hit a patch of wet asphalt. The... the driver died." Nate looked over at him.

"Oh man. He... he had a family. Ex wife and a couple of kids. Do... do they know?" he asked looking over at Nate.

"Yeah, they... they said they'd be here tomorrow to pick up the body." he looked over at him.

"Sorry. I... I should be there when they get here. To offer my condolences or something." he looked over at him.

"You should be here with your wife Roger. I'll do it. On behalf of the band." Nate looked over at him.

"What about the other guys? Are they...?" he asked as Nate interrupted him.

"They're fine Roger. Don't worry. Bumps and bruises. We inflicted more damage on ourselves back in the day. Just concentrate on James right now, OK." he looked over at him.

"There's nothing I can do. It's all in the doctor's hands now. I can't do anything to save my wife. I'm... I'm helpless." he looked over at them, his left arm in a sling.

"Roger, you need to rest. You're not gonna be any good to Jami if you tire yourself out." Mrs. Davis said attempting to urge her son to rest.

"I can't rest mom. I swore to my kids that I would protect their mother and I couldn't..." he started to cry.

"You could not have prevented this. The kids know that. But you're not doing them any favors by ignoring your own recovery. You have a broken arm and so many cuts and bruises. Maybe you should get some rest." Mrs. Davis suggested.

"Not until I know James is OK. She's my life ma. Without her... I'm not me." he whispered crying silently.

"She found the real Roger Davis. Without her, he doesn't exist." Mark nodded, remembering what he heard Roger say many times over the years.

"I know sweetheart. I know." Mrs. Davis wrapped her arms around her son.

"I'm OK ma. I... I think I should just sit down. I am feeling a little tired." he looked down at his mother.

"Why don't you go back into Jami's room and I'll get you some coffee and something to eat. I doubt you've eaten since before the accident." she offered attempting to provide some comfort to her son.

"Yeah, thanks... thanks ma. I... I'm gonna go sit down. I'll call the kids and make sure they're OK. While I'm waiting for news on James." he looked over at them.

"They'd really love to talk to you. They miss you and Jami." Maureen put her hand on Roger's good arm.

"We miss them too. Every night before we'd go on, she would take that picture of them from the summer, the one with them playing in the pool with little James and Michael from her pocket and run her finger over them and smile before putting it back in her pocket and leaning up to kiss me before we all rushed on stage. It... it was a ritual for her. Like they were the reason she was doing it, you know?" he looked over at them.

"Everything she does is for you and your kids Roger. She loves you so much and she will come back to you. You need to believe that. Not just for you, but for your kids too. They need to know that you believe that their mother is coming back to them." Mrs. Davis looked over at him.

"I know ma. Now all I have to do is believe it for myself." he whispered turning to go into Jami's room and sit in the chair next to her bed before calling their children.

"This has to have a happy ending." Nate muttered watching Roger on the phone with his kids.

"It will. We all have to believe that." Mrs. Davis looked up at him.

"You don't understand Mrs. Davis. I've know Roger so long and I've never seen him like he is with Jami. From the day he met her in the Life Cafe, she changed his life." he looked down at her.

"That day I introduced them." Mark nodded looking up at Nate.

"He was meeting me there to look at bands and from the minute I got there, he stared at her. When we left he told me that he met Mark's partner. He said that he knew it was wrong to look at her that way since she was Mark's girl, but he liked her." he smiled at Mark.

"The next morning I told him that she wasn't my girl and he told me that he liked her. When I called her, she yelled at me. She thought it made her sound like a loser who needed someone to set her up. But when I told her that he liked her too, she changed her tune." he smiled remembering that morning.

"She was late. Roger said he was so nervous that she stood him up, but when she walked into the cafe, she was worth the wait. She looked so beautiful. She took his breath away." Nate remembered smiling at Mark.

"Yeah, I... I remember." Mark nodded as Jami was wheeled down the hall and back to her room. She was still unconscious from the anesthesia. Roger's head bolted around when he heard the door open and noticed his wife being wheeled back into her room. He finished his call with his children before directing his attention to his wife. Taking her small hand in his, bringing it up to his lips to kiss before staring into his wife's face.


	98. Chapter 98

A few hours later, Jami finally started to wake up. Her eyes crept open and she looked around. Roger was sleeping in the chair next to her bed and the machines monitored her heart rate and other vital signs. She looked around the room, not recognizing her surroundings. As her eyes opened wider, Mark, Maureen, Mrs. Davis and Nate entered her room. "Hey James, how do you feel?" Nate asked looking over at her.

"Um..." she stammered, her mouth extremely dry from the anesthesia.

"Oh honey, you probably need some water, don't you?" Mrs. Davis offered lifting the pitcher up to pour her some water. She held the cup up to her daughter in laws lips allowing her to take small sips.

"Thank you. Are.. are you the nurse?" she looked up at her, confused.

"Um... Jami, I'm your mother in law. Roger's mother." she looked down at her scared.

"Is... is that Roger?" she asked quietly, her voice weak as she looked over at the sleeping man next to her bed.

"Yes honey, it is." Mrs. Davis smiled down at her before leaning over to wake him up. "Roger. Get up sweetie. Jami's awake." she whispered in his ear.

"Huh? I'm up. I'm... I'm up." he stammered waking from his sleep. He looked over at Jami and grabbed her hand, seeing she was awake. "James, Baby, you're up. I'm so glad you're OK. You are OK, right? You're not in pain anywhere, are you?" he asked anxious.

"My... my head hurts, but um... are you Roger?" she asked looking down at him.

"Of course I'm Roger. You must be feeling better than I thought. You're cracked jokes already." he smiled at her.

"Roger, she... she's not joking. She didn't remember your mother. She... she doesn't know who we are." Maureen whispered down at him.

"What... what does she mean, you don't remember? James, I'm your husband. We've been together 16 years. We're married and have 2 kids together. How can you not remember me?" he looked up at her, hurt and confused.

"Where's my parents? I... I need mama and papa. Can someone call them for me?" she looked down at him clearly frightened.

"We did sweetie. Your mother will be here as soon as she can. She had to wait for Aidan to get home from work before she could leave. But she'll be here shortly. Roger, why don't you go get the doctor?" Mrs. Davis asked trying to calm them both down.

"I don't want to leave her ma." he looked up at her.

"It's OK sweetie. I'm right here. She'll be fine. She needs the doctor in here. He needs to know the situation." she insisted looking down at him. He got up from the chair and leaned over Jami's bed.

"I love you James. I'm your husband and you're my life. You have to remember me. You have to remember all the years we've had together." he told her gently before kissing her head as she looked up at him. Her blue eyes weren't the vibrant one's he's been looking into for the last 16 years. They were vacant and scared as he left the room.

"If... if he's my husband, how come I don't remember him?" she asked looking over at Mrs. Davis.

"I don't know sweetheart, but the doctor will be able to tell us more. You're gonna be OK. That's what counts right now. Everything else will work itself out. I promise." she gently took Jami's hand and squeezed it lovingly.

"Where am I? What happened to me?" she asked looking up at her.

"You were in an accident. You and Roger were on the tour bus on your way to a hotel in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania before the show tomorrow." she explained looking over at her.

"Tour bus? What was I doing on a tour bus? Is... is Roger a musician or something?" she asked looking up at her.

"You too sweetie. You and Roger were on tour together. You and he go on tour and your kids stay home with me and Mark." Maureen intervened looking over at Jami.

"Tell me about my kids." she asked looking up at her.

"They're great. Davis, whose name is Roger Michael Davis, like his dad is 14 and he wears braces. Frankie, whose name is Frances James Davis is 8 and she is a pip. Just like her parents." Maureen explained looking over at her.

"I... I have a 14 year old son and an 8 year old daughter? How old am I?" she asked.

"41 years old sweetie. You're a wife and mother." Mrs. Davis smiled at her.

"I... I don't feel like a mother. What were my children's births like?" she asked looking over at them.

"Sweetie, you had c-sections for both of your kids because of your..." she started when Mark nudged her. "Ow..."

"You'll remember Jami. You just need to give yourself some time. You had a major head trauma." Mark interrupted.

"Mrs. Davis. You're awake." the doctor smiled as he entered the room.

"I... I don't remember any of my friends or family. I don't remember my husband and my kids. Why... why don't I remember that I have a husband and kids." she asked looking up at him as he looked over her chart.

"What's the last thing you remember?" he asked taking her vital signs.

"I was in the library doing research for a screen play. I go to NYU for screen writing." she explained as if she was still a college sophomore.

"Mrs. Davis, it's been over 20 years. You're 41 years old." he looked down at her.

"That... that can't be. How could this happen?" she asked scared.

"As I was telling your husband outside, amnesia isn't uncommon with a head trauma like yours. It's highly unlikely that it is permanent. But it might take a little time for you to regain your memory.

"I... I don't remember having kids. I think I would remember having kids." she looked up at him.

"It's only natural Mrs. Davis. It'll come back to you. Just give it time." he looked over at her.

"Barnett. My... my name is Jami Barnett." she looked up at him.

"OK Miss Barnett. Why don't you get some rest? We can revisit this later when you're more rested." he looked down at her. "Mr. Davis, can I speak to you outside for a moment?" the doctor asked looking over at Roger.

"What is wrong with my wife? Before the accident we were talking and laughing and then she was being thrown across the room and she was lying unconscious. Now she doesn't even know me. Doesn't remember the last 16 years of our lives and that we have 2 kids." he looked over at him.

"The head trauma caused temporary amnesia. Even though it's temporary, we won't know when she's gonna start remembering things." he looked up at him.

"She doesn't remember that I love her. Doesn't remember that she's my life." he looked over at him.

"She'll remember Mr. Davis. You have to trust in that. For right now, just keep talking to her. Tell her about your life together. What you two do for fun together. Your kids. Your home. It'll come back to her." he put his hand on Roger's shoulder reassuringly.

"Thank... thank you doctor. I appreciate all of your help." he looked over at him before turning around to see his mother, Mark, Maureen and Nate standing behind him.

"She's gonna remember Roger. You have to believe that." Mrs. Davis took her sons hand in hers.

"I hope so ma." he looked down at her as Maureen stared at Jami, who was sleeping.

"I have to make a phone call." Maureen excused herself before leaving the hospital.

"Is she OK?" Mrs. Davis asked Mark.

"She's scared. So am I. What if she never remembers us, Roger or the kids?" he asked looking at her.

"I don't know Mark. I really don't know." she looks over at him as Roger sat next to Jami's bed, staring at her as she slept.


	99. Chapter 99

Later that night, it was dark. Roger sat at Jami's bedside, watching his wife sleep. The bumps and bruises on her face were over shadowed by the gauze that covered her head from the surgery. Mark, Maureen, Mrs. Davis and Nate had checked into a hotel close by and they were getting some much needed rest. Mrs. Barnett sat on the other side of the bed sleeping in an over sized chair that nurses had brought in for her. Her daughter remembered her and her husband and family, but not that her husband had passed away 20 years earlier. She remembered going to NYU for screen writing, but that was the last she remembered. She didn't remember meeting Mark, Roger, Maureen or Mrs. Davis or having her children. In her mind, she is nearly 20 years old and a sophomore in college rather than a 41 year old mother to a teenage son and a pre teen daughter. Roger had watched Jami sleep many, many times over the last 16 years. But seeing her now, was different. She had an innocence to her face, that Roger remembered seeing when he met her at the Life Cafe with Mark. She wasn't wearing make up and her face looked pale. Soft. She turned her head and she opened her eyes, looking at Roger. "You're disappointed in me, aren't you?" she asked seeing that he was staring at her.

"I could never be disappointed in you James. Not once in this last 16 years have I every been disappointed in you." he looked over at her.

"But I don't remember you Roger. You or our children. I... I see pictures of them and they look like they're our children, but I... I don't remember them." she looked over at him.

"It's OK James. The doctor said that you will remember eventually." he reached over for her hand. This time she didn't flinch it away. She felt comfort in his touch. He made her feel like she's never felt before. Safe and loved.

"Why... why do you call me James? I... I hate being called James. It... it reminds me that my parents wanted me to be another boy." she stuttered looking into his tired green eyes.

"You like when I call you James. You always have. Since our first date." he smiled at her.

"What was our first date like?" she asked looking over at him.

"We met up at the Life Cafe and you looked breathtaking. I... I was speechless. You spilled coffee on your sweater when I touched your hand. We went back to your apartment and we watched Untamed Heart." he chuckled remembering that day.

"Ugh, I remember that movie. I always cry. That must have been so embarrassing." she groaned bringing her other hand up to her face.

"It was cute. I... I really liked it. I liked you." he smiled caressing her hand unconsciously.

"We're happy, aren't we? In our life... I.. I can tell we're happy." she asked looking down at their hands.

"Blissfully. But you insist on yelling at me over singing. Every time we record an album and I try to get you to sing alone more, you fight me, telling me that you're not a singer." he laughed quietly.

"How many albums have we done?" she asked.

"You've done 4 so far. It all started one night right after you and Mark got mugged. You started singing Davis the most amazing song. You only had the opening lyrics, but I heard you through the baby monitor and I thought it would make a great song. I added to it and we recorded it. It took a lot of fighting with you to get you to agree to sing it with me, but you did it. After that you just kept on writing and you've written so many other songs. Amazing songs James. You're incredibly talented." he beamed with pride.

"I'm a screenwriter, not a song writer." she insisted looking over at him.

"That's what you always say. Right before you hand me a pile of songs that knock me on my ass." he chuckled. It was nice to see that some things never change.

"I... I want to remember you Roger. I... I want to remember my kids. They're beautiful kids. And our house and our family... I have a good life, don't I?" she asked looking over at her.

"We love you so much James. We appreciate you for who you are. You are the center of our family." he looked over at her.

"I... I want to remember Roger. Help... help me to remember." she insisted, starting to cry.

"Anything James. What... what can I do? I'll do anything for you." he asked leaning up to the bed.

"I... I want to go home Roger. I... I want to see my kids. Maybe... maybe if I see my kids, I'll remember something. About them, us. My life." she looked over at him.

"Right now you need to heal from your surgery and your injuries." he held her hand in his.

"Um... tell me more." she pleaded trying to calm herself down.

"Anything you want James." he smiled looking up at her.

They spent the rest of the night talking about their family. Roger hoped it will jog her memory. By 5 in the morning, Roger started yawning. "If you want to get some sleep, don't think you have to stay awake because of me. I'm not going anywhere." she smirked at him before looking down at her IV.

"It's not that James. I've always liked talking to you anyway. I never get sick of it." he smiled up at her.

"Not after 16 years?" she asked remembering some of what she had told him.

"Nope. You're my best friend James. You could always see through all of my bullshit. You found the real Roger Davis." he smiled at her.

"Who were you before we met?" she asked.

"A broken down man. You saw me for who I was." he smiled.

"How come I worked with Mark for so long before we met. You guys were roommates, right?"

"We were both scared. I thought you were Mark's girl. I... I didn't want to move in on his girl and you saw me in Mark's documentary and you didn't know how to approach me. But we had feelings for each other before we even met." he smiled at her.

"I can see why. You're very good looking." she blushed.

"You should've seen me back in the day." he laughed looking up at her.

"I have a feeling I have my hands full with you." she laughed as Mrs. Barnett woke up.

"You do. Trust me." he laughed before looking over at his mother in law.

"I don't know why, but I do. Trust you. I have a feeling I have no reason not to." she told him as Mrs. Barnett smiled.

"How are you feeling Jami?" she asked her daughter.

"I'm gonna go get some coffee. Do you want some?" he asked looking over at her.

"Yes please. Thank you Roger." she smiled sitting on the bed next to her daughter.

"Roger and I were just talking mama. I can see why I married him. He's a wonderful man." she smiled at her mother.

"Yes sweetheart, he is. I remember when you first brought him home. You were already engaged to him." she smiled remembering how happy her young daughter was then.

"Mama, am I as in love with him as he is with me?" she asked confused.

"Yes James. You two live and breathe for one another. He is a very lucky man. And he knows it. It's one of the things I like about him." she smiled at her daughter.

"I'm sorry I don't remember mama. I want to, but... I don't." she cried.

"You will Jami. You just have to try." she leaned over to comfort her.

"I am trying mama. I want to remember my life with him. He seems like such a wonderful man."

"You will remember Jami. You have to believe that." Mrs. Barnett reassured her. Roger stood outside the room, listening to the pain his wife was in and felt helpless. He couldn't do anything to take it away. He couldn't understand how this could happen. The woman who's had his heart for 16 years didn't remember anything about him or their life together.


	100. Chapter 100

"We have to tell her Mark." Maureen spoke to Mark in the waiting room as they waited for Roger and Jami to emerge from their therapy appointment. The doctor advised them that seeing a therapist would probably do Jami some good with her amnesia. Maureen was worried that no one had told Jami about her HIV status yet. They were worried that it would freak her out and the last thing she needed was to be freaked out anymore than she already was. The doctors gave her her HIV meds and she just took them. She didn't ask what it was.

"How? How are we gonna tell her that Roger gave her HIV? She doesn't remember that he is her husband and we're gonna tell her that he got her sick." Mark argued pacing the waiting room.

"Well we can't keep this from her forever. When she gets home, she's gonna wonder why she's still taking all those pills and we're gonna have to tell her." she looked down at her.

"I agree with Mark. I don't think it's such a good idea that we tell Jami about her HIV. Not yet anyway. She doesn't trust him enough to take it well." Mrs. Barnett looked over at them sitting on the couch.

"Yeah, she took it really well the last time." Mark muttered looking over at them.

"What do you mean?" Mrs. Barnett asked looking up at him.

"She was more worried about how Roger would take it then the fact that she was HIV positive. She didn't want him to think he killed her. She wanted to wait until we got home and I insisted that he needed to know right away. She was so damn stubborn, she fought me the whole time we were in Seattle." he looked over at her.

"She's a strong woman Mark. I don't think you give her enough credit." Maureen looked over at her husband.

"You give her too much credit Maureen. She has amnesia. Do you not see that she's not our Jami. She's not even 20 and she's an insecure mess." he yelled getting up from his seat.

"Mark, calm down. You're not doing yourself any good by getting worked up over something that you can't control." Mrs. Barnett looked over at him.

"I'm... I'm sorry Mrs. Barnett, I just miss my best friend. Seeing her like this is killing me." he looked over at her.

"It's killing all of us Mark, but we have to believe that she is gonna remember and that our life is gonna go back to the way it used to be. You'll see." Maureen looked over at him fighting her own tears.

"I hope you're right Maureen. If not, those kids are gonna be pretty disappointed when their mother walks in the door and she's not their mother. At least not in her mind." he looked over at her before turning to the door. Roger was standing behind Jami's wheel chair as they listening.

"Mark, I'm sorry. I... I want to be the Jami you know, but... I'm not." she looked over at him, tears in her eyes.

"Jami, I... I didn't mean for you to hear that." he looked over at her before looking up at Roger, who looked too tired to be angry with him.

"No, don't be. I'm... I'm glad I heard that. I've... I've been worrying about that myself. The.. the doctor said that I should talk to them. On the phone first. Just... just so they can hear my voice and know that I'm OK. And maybe I will recognize theirs." she looked up at Roger before looking back at Mark.

"And what if you don't James? It'll break their hearts that you don't remember them." he walked over to her.

"I have to try Mark. I... I can't go on with my life not remembering my husband and my kids. I... I need to do this." she looked up at him. Her voice sounded clearly upset.

"Come on James. You need to get some rest. It's been a long day." Roger said quietly pulling her chair with his good arm.

"In... in a minute. I... I need to talk to everyone first." she looked up at him.

"But the doctor said you need your rest if you're gonna get better." Roger looked down at her.

"Roger please, I... I need to try to remember. Maybe if everyone stops acting like I'm gonna break, I'll remember more." she argued looking up at Roger.

"Fine James. Let Mark take you back to your room. I need to get out of here anyway." he snapped before letting go of the chair and walking away.

"Roger, wait." she called out looking back as he ignored her.

"Let him go Jami. He's had a rough couple of days. He needs some time to himself." Mrs. Davis looked over at her.

"I'm so messed up. It's... it's killing him that I don't remember him." she cried looking up at her.

"He's fine Jami. He just wants you to get better." Mrs. Barnett told her.

"No mama, he's not fine. And he shouldn't be. His wife doesn't remember him. He resents the fact that I can't remember him or our life together. I don't blame him. I resent that I can't remember anything about my life between being 20 years old and now. All of you keep telling me what a wonderful life I had. What a wonderful marriage I had. What amazing kids I have, but I don't remember any of it. He deserves for me to remember and I don't. So no mama, he's not OK and neither am I." she broke down burying her face in her hands.

"Come on. I'll take you back to your room. We can talk after you've gotten some rest. We're not getting anywhere like this." Maureen told her quietly as Mrs. Davis put her arm around Mrs. Barnett's shoulders.

"OK Maureen. Thank... thank you." she looked up at her.

"Sure." Maureen answered taking the handles of the wheelchair and bringing her to her room.

"They can survive anything Agnes. You'll see." she looked over at her.

"Ginger, they've survived so much already. How much more are they gonna have to endure?" she asked crying.

"I don't know. I just don't know." she looked over at her fighting her own tears.

Back in Jami's hospital room, Maureen helped her into the bed. "Are you OK sweetie?" she asked covering her with the sheet on the bed.

"No. I... I don't remember anything about my life and my husband is so exhausted from trying to help me remember that he's burned out." she cried looking over at her.

"James, I'm gonna talk to you for a minute and I need you to really listen to me, OK?" Maureen sat on the edge of the bed as Jami nodded. "When I met you, you and Roger had just gotten back from visiting your family and you gave me a chance. I broke up with Mark a few years before that and I really broke his heart. So obviously Roger was less than welcoming, but you just wanted Mark to be happy. He loved me, so he wanted to be happy with me. You and Roger have been through a lot. But you survived and you'll survive this. You two can get through anything." she looked over at her.

"Eric. Who... who's Eric?" she asked looking over at her.

"What?" Maureen asked being caught off guard.

"I remember the name Eric, but I don't know anyone named Eric. Who is he?" she asked.

"Roger's father's name was Eric. You... you never met him, but you were gonna name your first child after him before you found out that it was ectopic." she looked over at her.

"I... I remember something. That... that's good, right?" she asked her.

"That's very good Jami. Why don't you get some sleep now? We can talk more when you get some rest." Maureen smiled at her as she closed her eyes and fell asleep. She got up from the bed and went out into the hallway. Mark was standing outside the door, smiling.

"She's starting to remember." he smiled at her.

"We have to tell Roger. He'll be thrilled." she smiled at him.

"No. Why... why don't we see how much more she remembers? I don't want him to get any false hope." he looked down at her.

"Mark, this would make him so happy. It would give him just the right amount of hope. You saw him this afternoon, he needs some hope right now." Maureen looked over at him.

"Yeah, and right now, too much hope too soon could knock him on his ass. No, let's just see how much more she remembers." he took her hand in his.

"I'm gonna go see if Roger came back yet." she leaned up to kiss him before leaving to go towards the waiting room.

"He didn't. I... I checked already." he looked over at her.

"Where could he be? He wouldn't leave Jami, would he?" she asked looking over at him.

"I... I don't know Maureen. This is really hard on him. Probably harder on him then it is on her. He remembers and she doesn't." he looked over at her.

"Yeah, I... I know." she wrapped her arms around his waist, holding him close.

Roger was sitting in his hotel room looking through pictures of him and Jami that Nate had for him from the tour. They were laughing and so wrapped up in one another. As he looked through them, he realized that she wasn't his Jami anymore. She didn't even know him now. She was an insecure 20 year old who was still going to NYU for screen writing. Not the confident 41 year old wife and mother of 2 who performed to sold out crowds along side him. He looked at her and saw his Jami, but she wasn't. She was a stranger.


	101. Chapter 101

Early the next morning, Jami opened her eyes and saw Mrs. Barnett sleeping on one side of the bed and Maureen on the other side. Roger hadn't been back since the previous afternoon and she was disappointed that he wasn't at her bedside. She took a deep breath and sighed as Maureen looked up from her magazine. A dim light helping her see. "Hey Jami. How did you sleep?" she asked closing he magazine.

"Where's Roger?" she asked looking over at her.

"He stayed at the hotel last night. He was exhausted and needed some sleep. Mrs. Davis and Mark are with him. Do you want me to call him?" she asked sitting up straighter.

"No, it's... it's OK. I... I just thought he'd be here when I woke up. He always is." she looked over at her. She was clearly upset.

"Sweetie, I'm sure he just needed some time alone. He'll be back later." Maureen reached over to take Jami's hand, but it wasn't the same. It wasn't Roger. Every time he took her hand she felt calmer.

"Um... he hates me, doesn't he? Because I don't remember him." she asked fighting tears.

"No honey, he doesn't. He just misses you. He loves you very much." she looked up at her.

"I... I want to remember him Maureen. I... I don't know why I wouldn't. He so sweet and kind, I... I can tell that I love him too." she looked over at her.

"You do James. You love me and I love you. We have a life together. A good life filled with love and happiness and laughter. Lots of laughter." he said from the doorway.

"Roger, I'm... I'm glad you came back." she looked up, her eyes brightening.

"I can't stay away from you James. Even in the beginning when I knew I should have, I couldn't stay away. You're my life. Even... even if you don't remember, I do. I remember everything and whenever you want me to remind you. I will. Fondly." he smiled walking into the room.

"I... I missed you. I don't know why, but I did." she looked up at him.

"You have my heart James. You always have. That's why you missed me. You feel it, even though you don't know it." he smiled at her.

"I'm gonna go get some breakfast. When Mrs. Barnett wakes up, send her down to the cafeteria, if that's OK with you, Jami?"

"Yeah, I'd really like that. Thanks Maureen." she smiled as Roger sat in the chair Maureen had just vacated.

"I'm sorry about yesterday. There was no excuse for the way I acted." he apologized looking over at him.

"It's OK Roger. I understand that you're frustrated. I'm frustrated too." she looked over at him.

"Yeah, but you have a right to be frustrated. You lost 21 years of your life." he looked up at her.

"Roger, can... can you hold my hand please? For some reason it makes me feel better when you do." she pleaded looking into his green eyes.

"Of course James. I love holding your hand. It's what connects us." he smiled at her as he reached over to take her small hand.

"I... I remembered something yesterday. Um... after you left. I told Maureen what I remembered and she explained what it meant." she looked over at him.

"You remembered something, that's great. What is it?" he asked looking up at her.

"Eric. I... I remembered about our child. The... the one that I lost." she looked down at her.

"The ectopic pregnancy." he sighed before going on. "You... you wanted to name him Eric if it was a boy. After my dad." he smiled fondly at her.

"Um... what happened? I mean, how did it happen?" she asked looking down at him.

"It was Thanksgiving weekend. We were at my moms house and we just announced that you were pregnant. Everyone was thrilled. You wanted to name him Eric Roger if he was a boy. You started feeling twinges in your stomach. You thought it was the baby growing. You... you didn't realize something was wrong until you woke up in excruciating pain. I got you to the hospital in time to save you. The... the fertilized egg got stuck in your fallopian tube and had it burst, you... you could have died." he explained to her.

"That... that must have been really scary for you." she looked over at him.

"It was one of the scariest moments of my life. If I lost you... I... I don't know what I would do. I kept thinking about how I would... how I would go on without you. I love you so much James." he looked over at her as the nurse came in to give Jami her meds.

"Good morning Miss Barnett. How are you feeling this morning?" she asked looking down at her.

"Mrs. Davis. I... I think I want to be called Mrs. Davis now." she looked up at her.

"Are you remembering something?" the nurse asked optimistically.

"Not enough, but I'm Mrs. Davis, right? I... I think it would help me to remember more." she looked over at her.

"I'm sure it couldn't hurt Mrs. Davis." she smiled handing her the small paper cup filled with pills.

"What are all of these? Are they supposed to help with my memory?" she asked looking up at her.

"Something like that." the nurse smiled sweetly as Jami took the pills. "I'll be back to check on you in a little while. Your breakfast should be in soon." she smiled at Roger before leaving the room.

"Do you think the pills are helping with my memory?" she asked looking over at Roger.

"They're... they're not for your memory James." he looked up at her.

"What are they for then?" she asked confused.

"You're... you're HIV positive Jami. I... I infected you with HIV a while back." he looked up at her. Afraid of her reaction.

"Um... when? How... how long?" she asked looking over at him, fighting tears.

"15 years ago. You... you found out when you were in Seattle with Mark on tour for your film. You had been feeling sick through the whole tour and when it didn't go away you did some research on the internet and that was one of the things that came up. You went to a clinic in Seattle to get tested. Mark was with you when you found out. He helped you through it. He was really there for you." he explained looking over at her.

"How did I take it, when... when I found out?" she asked.

"Considerably well. You were more worried about my reaction than anything else." he looked up at her.

"How did you take it?" she asked looking over at him.

"I want to be able to tell you that I was brave and courageous, but I wasn't. I... I freaked out for a little while, but you got me through it." he looked over at her.

"How did I get it? Didn't we use protection?" she asked as tears streamed down her cheeks.

"The best explanation you came up with was when you got pregnant that first time. You... you think a condom broke and that's how you got pregnant. And how the virus got through. I'm... I'm so sorry James. I tore myself up for a long time over infecting you." he apologized looking down at her hand, which was still being held by his. He had expected her to snatch it away, but she kept it firmly in place.

"I'm... I'm sure you never meant to hurt me Roger. I have a feeling you... you never could." she turned her hand over to grasp his this time.

"I could never hurt you James. You're my life. I... I would walk to the ends of the earth to find a cure if it would save you." he looked up at her.

"Are our children positive?" she asked him.

"No. The doctor gave you meds to make sure of it. We were afraid that Frankie would be because your water started to break when you went into labor, but the doctors got her out in time. She's perfect. They both are." he held her hand tightly.

"Good. Good. I'm glad they're OK." she sighed looking over at him. "Are... are we OK? I mean, are we sick?" she asked looking over at her.

"Yeah, we're fine. We take our meds regularly and we're OK. We're not sick at all. Not one day since we found out." he smiled at her.

"That's... that's good." she looked over at him.

"What time did you get up this morning?" he asked looking over at her.

"I don't know, early. When I got up the first time, I noticed that you weren't here, so I went back to sleep. I... I was hoping you would be here when I woke up again. I... I was afraid that you hated me after yesterday." she looked over at him.

"I could never hate you James. I love you so much. You're my wife." he squeezed her hand.

"I know. I... I have a feeling I love you too." she smiled at him.

"You do James. Despite my juvenile behavior." he laughed at her.

"Yeah, tell me about the comedy club." she laughed remembering what Maureen told her the night before.

"You seem to think you're a comedienne. We laugh a lot." he smiled at her.

"Yeah, Maureen said. She said the kids think we're weird, but they like it."

"They're my kids, of course they're a little demented." he smiled at her.

"Davis plays guitar like you, doesn't he?" she asked looking over at him.

"Yeah, I guess Maureen has been talking your ear off." he smiled leaning back in the chair.

"No, I... I just... I think I remember seeing him as a young boy strumming a song. I... I can't seem to make out the song, but... I... I remember something about a halo." she squinted her eyes trying to remember the lyrics.

"Starlight and wonder. The universe seen through your eyes. The moon is a glorious halo, hanging high over your head every night." he sang softly looking over at her.

"That's it. That's the song. What... what is it?" she asked confused.

"It's... it's the song you wrote for him. Those are your lyrics James. You... you're remembering stuff. That's great." he smiled excitedly.

"I... I remember a dark room. It must have been in his room or something. He... he was in my arms and I started singing it to him. You came in and you... you liked it." she stammered looking over at him.

"Yes. I... I heard you sing it through the baby monitor and I rushed into his room to find out where you heard those lyrics. You said that they just popped into your head." he finished as she opened her mouth to talk again.

"I told you that it wasn't a song. It was... it was just something that I came up with to lull him back to sleep." she smiled wider.

"You're remembering?" he asked looking up at her.

"I... I don't know. Am... am I?" she asked as he nodded. "He was good baby, wasn't he?" she asked him.

"He was independent like me. It annoyed you sometimes. You wanted him to be more like Michael. Michael seemed to need you more than he did. But he's a good boy James. He loves you so much." he smiled at her.

"I... I've been getting flashes of candles. Did you do anything for me involving candles?" she asked looking over at him.

"Which time?" he chuckled.

"I... I don't know. I... I just get flashes here and there's candles. Lots of candles scattered everywhere and you were with me. Standing next to me. Smiling all goofy, like you are now." she smiled at him.

"Our third date. I... I cooked you homemade lasagna. It was the most incredible night of my life." he smiled at her.

"Even after all that's happened since then?" she asked looking over at him.

"Yep. It was when I came back to life again. Because of you." he smiled.

"I'm... I'm sorry I can't remember more, but I... I'm a little tired." she looked over at him.

"I understand Baby. Why don't you get some sleep? We can talk more later." he lifted her hand to his lips and kissed it tenderly.

"Tell me about our first kiss." she asked looking over at him.

"We were talking in your apartment and I asked you to be my girlfriend. I... I was so nervous and dorky, but I wanted you in my life. I lifted my hand to caress your face and it happened. It was the most amazing kiss." he smiled at her.

"I... I bet it was. I'm beginning to see why I fell so deeply in love with you." she whispered.

"Yeah, I'm pretty irresistible." he chuckled.

"Yes you are." she smiled before closing her eyes. Mrs. Barnett's eyes crept open. She was awake, but didn't want to interrupt the tender moment between Roger and her daughter. Roger looked over at Mrs. Barnett and caught her smirking. She got up and slowly snuck out of the room, Roger followed her.

"You know how she hates when we eavesdrop on each other." he looked over at her.

"I couldn't help it. I woke up a little while ago, but didn't want to interrupt you jogging her memory." she smiled at him.

"Yeah, she's... she's remembering stuff. About Davis, me. That's... that's good, right?" he looked down at her.

"That's very good Roger. She remembers the first song she ever wrote and the first dinner you ever made her. That's great." she smiled at him.

"I... I don't want to get my hopes up, but I... I think she's coming back to me." he whispered cautiously.

"She never left you Roger. She's just in a bit of a fog. She's finding her way through slowly." she smiled at him.

"Yeah. I guess so." he agreed smiling at her through the window as she slept peacefully.


	102. Chapter 102

A week later, Jami was released from the hospital and everyone was on their way home. Jami sat in the back seat of the mini van with Roger while Mrs. Davis and Mrs. Barnett sat in the third row seats. Mark drove as Maureen sat in the passenger seat. They played Roger and Jami's cd, hoping to help jog Jami's memory. She smiled as Roger held her hand on his leg. Jami started down at a picture of her children, hoping to remember more about them. Hearing their voices didn't help much, but Roger told her many stories about them. Enough to get her by until she actually remembered for real. Roger looked over at her and she looked scared. "Are you OK James?" he asked quietly.

"Mhm, I... I think so. I'm glad to be going home. Hopefully I can remember now." she looked over at him.

"If not, there's no time limit. Take as long as you need. No pressure." he told her reassuringly.

"Thanks for being so understanding. You've... you've been really great through all this." she looked up at him.

"How else am I gonna get you back?" he smiled at her as they pulled into their driveway.

"This is our house." she stated looking up at the house.

"Yeah, I... I bought it for you..." Roger started looking over at her.

"For Thanksgiving. I was pregnant and I yelled at you for buying a house behind my back." she smiled remembering.

"That's right James. You thought I was gonna want you to be one of those wives who made gourmet meals and baked a lot." he smiled down at her.

"But you said the kitchen was for you. You love cooking for your family." she smiled proud of herself.

"It is my kitchen. But you're learning." he smiled at her.

"Jami, are you ready?" Maureen smiled back at her.

"More than you know." she smiled as they began getting out of the car.

"Ginger, she's remembering more and more." Mrs. Barnett smiled.

"I know, I heard. This is incredible news." she smiled as they walked into the house.

"Mommy, you're home." a young blond girl called out, rushing to the door.

"Hi sweetie. I'm so happy to finally be back home." Jami smiled, truly excited to be home.

"I missed you so much mommy. You can come to my chorus concert next week. I have a solo." she told her excitedly.

"I can't wait sweetie. I'm so proud of you." she smiled looking into the living room where 2 teenage boys sat. The one she knew to be her son sat quietly as Michael smiled at his aunt and uncle.

"Davis, why don't you come over and say hi to your mom?" Roger called out hugging his daughter, who had moved on to her father.

"Um... hi mom." he stuttered getting up slowly.

"Hi Davis." she smiled seeing her sons apprehension.

"Um... dad, you broke your arm. Does that mean you can't play guitar anymore?" he asked looking over at his father's cast.

"Nah, I'm fine. I'll get to play again after my arm heals. I just gotta wait a few more weeks. I missed you bud." he smiled looking over at him.

"Me too dad. Um... I've been taking care of my braces, like you guys told me to. And I've been going to all of my guitar lessons and keeping an eye on Frankie." he looked over at them.

"Thanks man. We're really proud of you taking care of things here while we were gone. You're really growing up to be a good man." Roger smiled as Davis and Jami stared at one another.

"No problem dad." he looked over at Roger briefly before looking back at Jami.

"Um... I... I think I need to lay down. The drive took a lot out of me." Jami looked up at Roger.

"Sure, sure Baby. I'll... I'll bring you up to our bedroom." he looked down at her.

"Do you mind if I try on my own? I... I think I know where to go. Or at least I can narrow it down." she smiled faintly looking up at him.

"OK, just call me if you need me. I'll be right here." he smiled at her.

"No problem. It's great to be home everyone. Really." she smiled reaching out to brush her sons forearm before heading to the stairs.

"It's good to have you home mom. Really. We... we missed you." Davis stuttered looking over at his mother before she smiled and headed upstairs. "Is mom OK dad?" he asked looking over at Roger.

"She's just tired. She's fine. Don't worry so much." he smirked over at his son.

"Daddy, does mommy remember us?" Frankie asked looking up at him.

"She's starting to remember more and more all the time. She... she remembered me buying this house." he smiled at them.

"Does she remember us?" Davis asked looking over at him.

"Bits and pieces. She remembers your song. She... she remembered you playing it and singing it to her last year at your school talent show." he smiled at him.

"Really?" he asked surprised.

"Yeah, and she remembered Frankie falling off the swings last summer at summer camp and us going to the hospital for her stitches. It's not much for now, but she's getting there." he smiled looking down at his daughter.

"Mommy was so scared when that happened. She kept crying about me being too much like her. Clumsy." she smiled up at him.

"Yeah. I remember princess." he smiled at her.

"Dad, what happened?" Davis asked looking over at him.

"We... we were talking in the back of the bus. Laughing about her almost falling on stage because of her shoes and the next minute we're flying around the room. I... I tried to grab her, you have to believe that. You have to believe that I tried to protect her, but... it... it happened so fast. I couldn't get to her." he looked over at him.

"I believe you dad. You... you always try to protect mom, but you can't see everything." Davis reassured him before hugging him.

"She's gonna be OK. You have to believe that son. I've been helping her jog her memory and it seems to be helping. It's just gonna take a little time." he whispered hugging his son as his daughter clung to his waist.

"We know daddy. If anyone can help mom, it's you." she smiled looking up at him.

"I'm trying kiddo. I really am." he leaned down to kiss his daughter's head.

"Roger, can you come up here a minute?" Jami called out from the second floor.

"Go. I got them." Heather smiled looking over at her brother.

"Thanks Heath." he smiled at his sister before going upstairs to his wife. "What is it James?" he asked entering their bedroom.

"We got married twice. I... I remember. This wasn't the first time we got married. We... we got married alone before we did it in front of our friends and family. I... I was pregnant with Davis the second time." she rambled on excitedly holding their wedding photo, which was sitting on the nightstand.

"Yes James. We..." he started when she excitedly interrupted him.

"We wanted to be married before I left for the tour. For my film." she smiled with tears in her eyes.

"I am so proud of you James. You're doing great." he smiled crossing the room to sit next to her. He leaned down to kiss her head.

"Um... I had morning sickness the morning of our second wedding. I yelled at you for it." she cried tears of joy as he sat next to her on the bed.

"Boy, did you. I was at Chris' place and you called me from Heather's cell phone. When you told me about your morning sickness, I laughed. Apparently not the reaction you wanted." he laughed looking over at her.

"I blamed Heather. The night before she asked if I had had any morning sickness and at that point I hadn't." she smiled at him.

"Ironic that you developed morning sickness the morning of our wedding with a house full of mothers, who didn't know you were pregnant yet." he laughed with her.

"I had to tell them. Your son gave me no choice." she laughed holding the picture in her hands.

"What are they doing?" Frankie asked quietly as she and Davis sat on the stairs.

"Laughing. Mom's remembering stuff and they're laughing." he smiled at her.

"Mom's gonna be OK, right Davis?" she asked looking up at her big brother.

"Yeah shrimp, everything is gonna be good now that mom and dad are home." he smiled at her as everyone listened from the bottom of the stairs.

"It's about time." Ginger smiled wiping tears of joy from her eyes.

"They always could get through anything. A love like theirs..." Mark smirked at them.

"Can move mountains." Maureen finished smiling up at him.


	103. Chapter 103

The following week, Jami is nearly back to normal. Her head is healed and her memory is coming back steadily. Daily she would remember other things about her life, her children and her life with Roger. "Mommy, do you remember when I was born?" Frankie asked looking over at her mother as they sat in the kitchen eating cookies and milk.

"It was Christmas. I... I started going into labor on Christmas morning, but daddy made me go to the hospital when he saw that I was in pain. You were so beautiful." she smiled at her daughter.

"How about when Davis was born?" she asked her.

"I went to the hospital early in the morning for a scheduled cesarean section with him." she smiled at her.

"Mom, are you all better now?" she asked her.

"Not... not really. I mean, I remember a lot, but there are still some holes I can't fill in." she said looking down at the table.

"Like what? Maybe I can help you." she asked dipping her cookie into the glass of milk in front of her.

"I don't remember meeting your dad. I... I remember a lot about him and me, but I still don't remember when I met him. I've been trying but, it's... it's hard, you know?" she looked over at her.

"You told me a million times. Uncle Mark introduced you in the Life Cafe. Around the corner from where you lived before you moved in with him and daddy. You and Uncle Mark were working and daddy came in to wait for Uncle Nate so he could go listen to musicians they wanted int their band. You were really nervous and you liked him for a while before then." she explained taking a bite of her cookie.

"I know sweetie. Daddy told me a bunch of times, but I still can't remember. I... I can't get the picture in my head. The memory." she looked over at her.

"You will mommy. I know it. I gotta go do my homework." she smiled getting up to kiss her mother on the cheek before dumping her milk in the sink and going into the living room to start her homework.

"Mom, can.. can I talk to you a minute?" Davis asked coming into the kitchen from the basement.

"Sure baby boy. What is it?" she asked as he smiled. It was the first time she called him that since they returned home from the hospital. He didn't think she remembered calling him that.

"Um... were you scared when you woke up and didn't remember dad?" he asked standing by the counter.

"A little. He kept calling me Baby and insisted that he loved me and I loved him, but I didn't remember. But after a little while, I trusted him. I liked when he held my hand. It made me feel safe." she smiled at him.

"What was the first thing you remembered?" he asked moving closer to him.

"Your grandpa's name. Before we had you, I had an ectopic pregnancy and it almost killed me. Daddy and I wanted to name the baby after your grandpa." she told him truthfully.

"What was the second thing?"

"You playing my song on the guitar. The... the one I wrote for you. I described it for your dad and he told me what I was remembering. You at your talent show." she smiled at him.

"You remembered me first?" he asked in disbelief.

"I don't know why, but I did. Don't... don't tell your sister, OK? I don't want her to feel bad, OK?' she looked over at him.

"I would never do that mom. I'm just glad you're getting better." he smiled at her.

"Let me ask you something baby boy. What's it like having 2 rock star parents?" she asked drinking her milk.

"Awesome. You and dad are great together." he raved.

"Even if we leave you and your sister behind sometimes?" she asked sadly.

"Mom, you and dad are meant to sing together. We like it that you guys get to do what you do together. Especially since you guys have HIV. You guys shouldn't have to give up what you love for anything." he smiled looking over at her.

"Yeah, I... I guess. But you guys must be really lonely having Aunt Maureen and Uncle Mark here instead of your parents." she looked over at him.

"Nope. We like that you and dad are out there together. It's where you belong." he smiled at her.

"You really think so sweetie?" she asked looking over at him.

"Yep. You and dad belong together. He couldn't survive without you with him." he smiled at her.

"Um... you're a cool kid, you know that?" she smiled at him.

"Of course I'm cool. My parents are rock superstars." he chuckled before getting up from the table.

"Rock superstars, huh? You sound like your father." she laughed looking up at him.

"You always say I'm my father's son." he smiled opening the refrigerator.

"You're a lucky kid. Your father's a good man." she smiled.

"I'm glad you remember." he smiled taking a can of soda out before closing the door.

"How could I forget. He's been so good through all of this." she looked up at him.

"Dad loves you mom. Without you, he's not him. He always told us that he was nothing before he met you. You made him who he is." he popped open the can of soda.

"I have a feeling he did the same thing for me." she smiled getting up from the table.

"He did mom. You guys complete each other." he smiled at her.

"And I can tell the rest of you are in big trouble with us." she smiled at him.

"That's OK. We don't mind. You and dad have a connection that we could only be so lucky to have with another human being when we get older." he smiled as Roger entered the kitchen.

"Hey kid. Is your homework done, or were you downstairs messing around in the studio?" he asked before leaning down to kiss Jami's head.

"I was messing around downstairs, but I was just talking to mom before going up to finish my homework. I'm almost done." he looked over at him.

"Aha, well you know the rules kiddo, finish your homework first, then you get to mess around downstairs." he looked over at his son.

"I know dad, I... I just needed to get something down before I forgot. I'm going to do my homework right now." he looked over at his son.

"OK kiddo. You're off the hook this time. But next time, just... ask OK?" he smiled at his son.

"Sure dad. Thanks. I'll talk you later mom." he smiled at her.

"OK sweetie." she smiled as her son went upstairs.

"I swear, the older he gets, the more time he spends downstairs." he laughed reaching down to take a couple of cookies from the table.

"He's your son. He worships you Roger. He wants to be a rock star just like you." she smiled getting up to put her cup into the sink.

"He worships you too James. He's a good kid." he smiled at her.

"They both are Roger. We... we really did a great job with them." she smiled at him.

"Even though we go out on tour and leave them home?" he asked clearly questioning his decisions.

"Yes Roger. They... they look up to us for it." she smiled at him.

"I guess they do." he smiled at her.

"How come we only had 2 kids? I mean, There's 6 in my family and 4 in yours. It... it seems a little odd for us to just have 2 considering we come from big families." she looked up at him.

"You wanted to have your tubes tied after Frankie. Even before we found out she was negative. The fact that she could have been positive because your water almost broke having her scared you. It was really hard on both of us not knowing. You didn't want to go through that again." he looked over at her.

"I wish I remembered." she looked over at him.

"You will. Trust me. I believe in you." he smiled.

"Roger, can you tell me again how we met? I... I don't know why, but it's one of the pieces I can't seem to put together." she looked over at him.

"James, it's OK if you don't remember that. It was a long time ago. All that matters is that we did and we're here now." he reached over to take her hand.

"It matters to me Roger. I mean, I remember seeing Mark's documentary and his films of you when you were performing and I remember seeing you live all those years ago, but I don't remember that day in the Life Cafe." she looked over at him.

"James, it's OK. It doesn't matter." he squeezed her hand looking deeply into her blue eyes.

"No, it matters how we met. Roger, don't you see. How we met is a big part of how we got here. You and Mark have told me hundreds of times how nervous I was. How magical that moment was, but I don't remember it. I can't get the picture in my head. I... I need to remember it Roger. It bothers me that I don't." she looked up at him.

"You will in time. I believe that and so should you." he smiled at her.

"I... I know. It's just frustrating that I don't." she looked up at him.

"You always were a frustrated woman." he laughed looking over at her.

"I... I remember the first time we made love." she smiled at him.

"Me too. It was the night I came back to life." he smiled at her, squeezing her hand.

"The first dinner you made me. We were sitting on the window seat kissing and I remember getting this feeling in my stomach that I had to be with you. We made love shortly after dinner. Then we spent most of the night sitting at that window seat staring out at the moon, laughing and talking. Mark came in at sunrise." she smiled at him.

"You were so beautiful as the moon danced off of your hair." he smiled reaching over to caress her face.

"I was a mess. Sitting in your over sized dress shirt and my panties. I love that shirt." she laughed looking over at him.

"You always used to love getting me out of that shirt." he laughed looking over at her.

"I... I remember. Our... our sex life is great, right?" she blushed.

"It... it is. We can't keep our hands off of each other." he smiled at her.

"I'm... I'm ready to move on Roger." she looked over at him.

"What do you mean?" he asked confused.

"I... I'm ready to be your wife." she told him quietly.

"There's no rush James. I'm willing to wait as long as you need me to." he smiled down at her.

"I... I know. But I'm ready Roger. I... I remember us. I remember the way we always were. I remember that I love you." she looked over at him.

"I love you so much James." he down to kiss her lips. It was the first real kiss since the accident.

"I love you too Roger. I... I guess I'm lucky to get to fall in love with you twice, huh?" she wrapped her arms around his waist.

"I told you I was good." he smirked up at her.

"Ha ha." she laughed leaning up to kiss him again, this time it was deeper and more passionate.

"James, we... we should stop. I don't want to move too fast." he reluctantly broke the kiss.

"But I'm ready Roger. I... I want this." she looked up into his green eyes.

"There's no rush James. I'm here for as long as you want. Plus, your mother is here. You were always uncomfortable, you know, when your mother is around." he explained to her.

"Ugh, when is mama going home anyway? Does she live here with us or something?" she laughed looking into his eyes.

"She'll go home as soon as her daughter is better." he reached up to caress her face.

"I am better. I just want my life to go back to normal. The insanity of the Davis/ Cohen house. It's fun. I just wish I didn't have mama hanging over my shoulder all the time. Like I can't do it on my own." she looked over at him.

"We'll talk to her tonight. See about getting her out of here so you can retake control of your house. As looney as it is at times." he laughed.

"Thank you. I appreciate the fact that you believe I can do it." she smiled looking up at him.

"You can do it James. I know you can." he smiled at her. His eyes sparkled like they did when they were younger.

"Um... I'm gonna go see if Frankie needs help with her home work. I need to calm myself down."

"Yeah, me too. I should take a cold shower, but I guess I'll just have to go downstairs. There's a pile of songs my wife wrote a while ago that I need to sort through." he smiled at her.

"Ugh, I still can't believe I write songs." she laughed.

"Well you do. And you're great." he smiled kissing her again before leaving her standing in the kitchen.

"You're not too bad yourself Mr. Davis." she smiled to herself before leaving the room to help her daughter with her homework.


	104. Chapter 104

Later that evening, Jami is sitting in hers and Roger's bedroom. Roger is downstairs in the studio with Davis and Frankie is helping little James get ready for bed, Michael is finishing his homework up in his room and Mark and Maureen are cleaning up after dinner. Jami is looking through some old screenplays when Mrs. Barnett knocks on the bedroom door. "Come in." Jami called out as the door opened slowly.

"James, is... is everything OK?" she asked looking over at her daughter.

"I'm fine mama. Just thinking about stuff, that's all. Um... can I talk to you?" she asked looking over at her.

"What's the matter Jami?" she asked moving over to the bed.

"Mama, I really appreciate you being here these last few weeks, but... I'm remembering a lot more now and I... I think I'm ready for you to go home." she looked up at her mother.

"I'm just here to help you James. This is a big house and with Roger and the kids, it's a lot to manage on your own." she explained sitting on the bed.

"I'm not alone mama. I have Roger. And Mark and Maureen are here to help, if I need them to, but I don't mama. I... I want to do it on my own. I know I can do it on my own." she looked over at her.

"Jami, are you remembering more?" she asked looking over at her.

"Yes mama, I'm remembering a lot. Things about me and Roger. Our marriage. The... the way we are together, but I still can't remember when we met." she looked over at her.

"In time you'll remember. And when you do, it won't matter. Jami, do you remember anything about the weekend you came up to the house to introduce Roger to all of us?" she asked looking over at her.

"Mhm. A... a little. I was so nervous. I thought the boys were gonna put him through the ringer, but no one did. Well, Aidan kind of did, but nowhere near what I was afraid of. Roger kept telling me everything was gonna be OK and he was right. It frustrated me so much. God, I hate when he's always right." she laughed looking over at her.

"The kids were crawling all over him and the adults couldn't get enough of him either. The boys played basketball in the driveway with him and you were swooning over him. We could all tell that you two were gonna make it." she laughed remembering that first weekend.

"From what I remember, the wives were swooning too." she laughed looking over at her.

"Um... yeah. I think you're definitely remembering correctly." she laughed.

"Roger told you about his HIV that weekend, right?" she asked looking over at her.

"Yes, he did. It was Sunday morning and I was in the kitchen looking through your baby book. You were still sleeping when he came down. We got to talking about you and children and he told me how much he loved you and how he would never hurt you. He... he swore he would take care of you." she smiled at her.

"He always did mama. The fact that I'm positive isn't his fault. Sometimes things happen that we can't control." she looked over at her.

"I know James. He would never hurt you on purpose."

"Never. He's an incredible man." she smiled at her.

"Are you sure you're OK?' Mrs. Barnett asked looking over at her daughter.

"I'm in love with him mama. Again." she laughed light heartedly. "We... we kissed this afternoon. It was the most incredible kiss I've ever experienced."

"I... I guess I can go home now. Since you're doing so well." she smiled squeezing her daughter's hand.

"Not that I don't want you here mama, but I'm fine. I'm sure the boys need you back." she looked over at her.

"OK James. I'll go home. But don't hesitate to call me if you need me. I'll come rushing back." she looked over at her.

"I won't mama, but that's for the offer. My family loves me very much." she smiled.

"You are a lucky woman James."

"I know mama." she smiled as there was another knock at the door. "Grand central station." she chuckled before directing the knocker to enter.

"Mommy, can you brush my hair?" Frankie asked standing in the doorway with a brush in her hand.

"Sure sweetie. Come on over." she smiled patting the bed next to her.

"I'm gonna go make sure the laundry is done. I have some packing to do." Mrs. Barnett smiled kissing her daughter on the head.

"Thanks mama." Jami smiled as Frankie sat next to her.

"Where's grandma going?" Frankie asked, plopping onto the bed.

"She needs to go home now. She's been here for a while, but it's time for her to go home." she smiled at her.

"Does that mean you are all better mommy?" she smiled at her.

"Getting there kiddo. I'm getting there." she smiled at her.

"I missed you so much mommy." she leaned over to hug her mother.

"I know my sweetie." she smiled hugging her daughter.

"Do you remember meeting daddy yet?" she asked sitting down on the bed.

"Not... not exactly. I mean, I remember feeling the butterflies in my stomach and me and Uncle Mark talking about me liking him, but not the moment I met him. I still can't get the picture in my head, but I'll remember. I know I will." she smiled at her.

"Do you love daddy again yet?" Frankie smiled at her mother.

"Yes sweetie. I do. I love him very much." she smiled at her.

"Yay, you're getting back to normal again." she bounced excitedly before turning her back so Jami could brush her hair.

"Yeah, I... I guess I am." she smiled beginning to run the brush through her daughter's long blond hair.

"Mom, guess what?" Davis called out entering the room unannounced.

"Hey jerk face. Didn't mommy and daddy tell you to knock first before barging into their room?" Frankie called out looking up at her brother.

"Frankie, it's OK. Don't call your brother names. What is it baby boy?" she asked looking up at him.

"Dad said he would record my song with me. He liked it. He really liked it." he called out jumping on the bed next to her.

"That's great sweetie. I'm so proud of you. But you do know that your dad can't play guitar on it yet. Not until his arm heals all the way." she looked over at him.

"I know. He said I should play guitar and you can sing it with him." he smiled at her.

"I... I don't know sweetie. I... I think maybe your sister would like to sing it with him." she stuttered as Roger entered the room.

"Hey, did you hear the news? Our boy is a bona fide rock star." Roger smiled at her.

"Yeah, um... why don't you kids get ready for bed. I... I want to talk to your dad for a minute." she handed Frankie her brush as they got up from the bed.

"OK mom. Thanks dad." Davis smiled looking up at his father before leaving the room.

"You should hear his song James. It's great." he smiled at her.

"I'm sure it is. Um... he said that you want me to sing it with you." she looked over at her.

"He wrote it that way. A part for you and a part for me." he smiled sitting on the bed.

"I... I can't Roger. I... I don't know if I can do it." she looked over at her.

"You're an amazing singer James. A rock star. You sang to sold out crowds." he smiled looking over at her.

"That was... that was before the accident. I... I've been doing a lot of thinking." she looked over at him. "Why did I stop writing screenplays?" she asked.

"Not sure. You... you started writing songs and that was it. You... you never started writing another screenplay." he looked over at her.

"I'm a screen writer Roger. It's all I ever wanted to be and I just give it up to be a rock star? I... I don't believe that. I must have had writers block or something. That's the only thing that would stop me from writing."

"Maybe. You... you finished my screenplay and then you never wrote another one." he looked over.

"Writing that one was so hard. I... I don't remember ever crying more than I did when I was writing about you. I... I didn't think I could do another one." she looked over at him speaking quietly.

"I never wanted you to see me the way I was before. You... you were pure. You had no part there. But... you were determined. I... I couldn't talk you out of it." he played with his cast as they spoke.

"No, it... it was good for me. It helped me see how far you came. It meant a lot to me to do it."

"Because of you James. You made me who I am. You turned my life around." he smiled leaning towards her.

"You changed me too Roger. I... I remember being an insecure girl who was alone before I met you. You apparently gave me confidence and acceptance. I... I was never seen for who I really was." she looked over at him.

"I saw you James. I... I guess we saw each other." he smiled at her.

"I guess you saw me as a rock star." she smirked at him.

"You are a rock star James. Never forget that." he leaned over to kiss her.

"Mhm, I guess I can't now. You've been drumming it into my head for the last 14 years." she laughed kissing him again. She loved the feel of his lips on hers. They were soft and tender. She felt truly loved when he kissed her.

"I'm... gonna... go make sure the kids are nestled safely into their beds and then I'll be back. I want to finish this." he groaned looking into his wife's blue eyes. The some ones that had him since day one.

"Mmm, sounds like you're thinking what I'm thinking." she moaned seductively.

"I hope so." he smiled kissing her again before getting up from the bed.

"Don't worry. You are." she giggled before leaning back against her pillows. She had to take a few deep breaths to calm herself down. For the first time in nearly 2 months, she was gonna make love to her husband and she couldn't wait. The butterflies fluttered in her stomach and she felt anxious. As if it were the first time she was gonna be with him. As she looked over at their wedding picture on the nightstand, she realized that it wasn't their first time, but she hoped it would be unforgettable.


	105. Chapter 105

It was the middle of the night. Jami bolted up from her pillow, smiling. She whipped her head around looking towards her husband, who was sound asleep, snoring next to her. She placed her hand over her heart and began crying. Not tears of confusion or fear, but tears of happiness. She placed her hand on his shoulder. Gently shaking him out of his slumber. "Roger. Roger wake up. Roger." she called out in excitement.

"Wha... what's the matter?" he mumbled as his eyes crept open.

"Mark and I were sitting at a table going over shots for the next day of shooting and you walked into the Life Cafe and I noticed you. I'd been noticing you for a while, but I... I don't know why, on that particular day I spoke up, but I did. I... I tried to act casual with Mark. Asking him if it was you who just came in and he turned around and said yeah, you must be meeting Nate or something. He asked if I wanted to finally meet you and I said yes. I was so nervous that when he introduced us, I barely said two words. You tried to make a joke and asked me if I played bass and I totally froze." she rambled before taking a breath. "Roger, I... I remember. The... the moment we met. I... remembered." she cried looking over at him.

"You... you remembered? Are you sure? I mean, you're... you're not just remembering being told about it?" he asked in disbelief.

"Roger I remember everything. I... I see you. You have a black t-shirt on and faded blue jeans and your leather jacket. Your hair is short is spikey. Dirty blond and your scruff looked about 2 days grown. Your hands were so calloused when you shook my hand. You had on a ball neck chain on that was barely longer than the top of your t-shirt." she told him, remembering clearly.

"You remember. You... you really remember." he bolted up excitedly.

"I... I also remember our first kiss. It was so hot, I... I would have dragged you to my bed right there on the spot had you not cooled things down." she told him as tears continued to stream down her face.

"I reluctantly cooled things down. I want that on the record." he joked looking down at her.

"Duly noted Baby." she laughed looking up at him.

"I'm so proud of you James. Really. This is incredible." he smiled wrapping his arms around his wife and holding her to his half naked body.

"I remember Roger." she cried into his bare shoulder.

"I know Baby. I know." he whispered kissing her head as he soothed her long blond hair.

"I remember everything. I... I remember finding out I was pregnant with Davis, with Frankie. The first song I recorded for you." she told him, pulling away from his loving embrace.

"What was it?" he quizzed, knowing he hadn't told her about that.

"Belinda Carlisle, Mad About You." she blurted out laughing.

"What about the first song you wrote on your own?" he asked.

"I called it Brave. Me and Adam worked it out alone first. I was hoping I heard it somewhere else before. I didn't. He made me record it for you. It drove me nuts. The... the last thing I wanted was to make you right about me being a songwriter." she laughed wiping her tears from her face.

"You're back Baby. You're... you're really back." he laughed caressing her face.

"I'm back. We... we got into an accident on the tour bus. We were in the back on the king sized bed. You were teasing me about almost tripping on my shoes the night before. I... I told you I was gonna trip on those spike heeled boots, but you said they looked hot with my shiny black pants. Johnny must have hit a wet patch because of the rain and... you were reaching for me, but... but you were too far away. I... I hit my head. Hard." she looked over at him.

"You're OK now James. Everything is OK now." he smiled at her.

"Mama's going home tomorrow and I'll be able to run my house again." she smiled at him.

"And you remembered how we met." he smiled wrapping his arms around her.

"I also remember how I felt when we shared that first kiss." she groaned looking up at him.

"Oh yeah? Now that information would even be new to me." he laughed looking down at her.

"I felt all squishy inside. You... you made me feel like no one's ever made me feel. I... I knew you would be the last man I'd ever kiss in my life. I knew I'd be the woman you loved for the rest of your life." she smiled leaning up.

"Do you wanna know when I knew?" he asked looking over at her.

"What do you think?" she smiled at him.

"After we watched the movie, we talked about me wanting you to find love and you got really upset with me. You didn't want me to talk about when I was gone. You were by the TV and I went over to you and you begged me to stop talking about it." he started when she interrupted him.

"I told you that I had feelings for you before we met. I... I was upset and you regretted it. You told me who I saw in Mark's films wasn't you. You were young and stupid then." she smiled at him.

"That's when I knew you were gonna change me life James. That moment." he smiled at her.

"You were always so different from anyone I'd ever known." she smiled at him.

"You too James. You... you inspired me to get serious about following my dream." he looked over at her.

"You know, I didn't think it would have been possible, but I love you more now than I have in 16 years." she smiled leaning in to kiss him.

"Nothing new to me. I've been loving you more and more with everyday I know you." he whispered looking into her blue eyes before kissing her again. This one was more urgent and breathtaking than the last.

"Roger, make... make love to me again. Please." she pleaded running her fingers through his short blond, gray hair.

"I love you James." he whispered, reaching down to pull the nightshirt off of her petite body.

"I know. I've... I've always known. Somehow." she sighed leaning her head back. He kissed her neck before pulling the shirt above her head and dis guarding it to the floor next to the bed.

"I miss feeling you like this." she whispered as he lay her down next to him.

"Me too James." he groaned running his hands up and down her body.

"How could I ever have forgotten a man who made me feel like this?" she smiled turning to her side, draping her arm across his body.

"I don't know Baby, but you remember now and that's all that matters." he whispered, leaning in to kiss her again. Deeper, more passionately as they began to make love.


	106. Chapter 106

It was 2 months later. Jami remembers almost everything and she is running her household as if she never left. Roger's arm is healed and he's gone back to playing his guitar. He is downstairs strumming away on his guitar and the kids are in school. Maureen has Little James at the park and Mark is in the city at a meeting with the production company. He has started writing his own screenplays again after 20 years, and he is working on looking for approval to start filming it himself. Jami is doing the dishes from the lunch she made for everyone when the phone rings. She looks over at the caller ID and notices that it's Frankie's school. "Hello." she says answering the phone.

"Mommy, can you come and get me. I don't feel so good." she heard her daughter whine into the phone.

"Oh honey, what's the matter?" she asked holding the phone.

"My stomach hurts really bad and I feel like I'm gonna barf." she complained.

"OK sweetie. I'll be there in a little while. Try not to barf in the nurses' office, OK? If you have to throw up, do it in the bathroom." she told her.

"OK mommy. I'll try. See you in a little while." she told her, hanging up the phone. Jami hung the phone up as well before going towards the basement door and opening it.

"Roger, we have to pick Frankie up from school. She doesn't feel well." she called out from the top of the stairs.

"Can you pick her up. I'm kind of in the middle of something." he called out, taking the pen out from between his teeth.

"I haven't driven in a while and I... I don't feel comfortable driving for the first time with her in the car." she confessed walking down the stairs before leaning against the doorway on the staircase.

"James, you're an excellent driver. You shouldn't be scared. Even if the baby is in the car with you." he told her, taking the guitar off of his lap.

"Roger, can... can you come with me? Just... just this one time? Please." she pleaded as he stood in front of her at the bottom of the stairs.

"Sure James. Whatever will make you comfortable." he smiled walking up the stairs towards her.

"Thanks Baby. I... I appreciate that."

"Anything for my girl. You know that." he smiled kissing her before they started up the stairs.

"Yeah, I know. I'm a bit high maintenance, huh?" she smirked at him.

"Your a rock chick. You're supposed to be high maintenance." he laughed holding her in his arms.

"Ha ha. Very funny Davis." she laughed looking up at him.

"Well, I am a funny guy." he held her close to him before leaning down to snuggle in her long blond hair.

"We have to get Frankie from school Baby." she leaned her head into his.

"Right Frankie. What's the matter with her?" he asked looking over at her.

"Stomach ache. She feels like she's gonna barf." she looked up at him.

"My poor girl. I'll make her some chicken broth when she gets home." he looked down at her.

"You are such a good daddy. Taking care of your girl when she's sick." she smiled at him.

"I'm a good dad because of you James. You gave me such amazing kids to love." he smiled at her.

"Come on. We gotta go get the baby from school." she smiled taking the car keys off of the hook.

"You remember what to do, right?" Roger asked as they sat in the minivan in the garage.

"I think so. Put the key in here and turn it all the way until the car starts." she smirked at him.

"Hey, I'm with you James, you're not with me." he looked over at her.

"I know. I'm sorry. I'm just very nervous about driving again. Especially with the kids in the car." she looked over at him.

"You have no reason to be. You've been driving them everywhere for years. You're an excellent driver." he smiled at her.

"You're only saying that because you taught me." she laughed looking over at him.

"Then there's that." he laughed as she reached out to shift the minivan into reverse to back out of the garage. Careful not to clip the side mirrors on the sides of the garage. She shifted the car into drive as Roger clicked the button to close the garage door. She began the drive to the school as Roger played with the radio. I'm With You started as a huge smiled crossed his face.

"This is our song, isn't it?" she asked looking over at him as she carefully drove.

"Yeah James, it is. Do you recognize it?" he asked looking over at her.

"Yeah, I... I do. I can't believe that's me." she smiled holding the steering wheel with both hands on 10 and 2.

"I love this song. I think it's the best song I've ever heard." he smiled at her.

"You're only saying that because it's me singing it with you." she smiled as they pulled into the parking lot of the elementary school.

"Maybe. Or maybe because it's the best song there is. Did you ever think of that?" he laughed looking over at her.

"You're impossible." she laughed as they got out of the car and entered the school. They signed in before heading for the nurses office.

"Hi mommy. Hi daddy." Frankie smiled weakly looking up from the cot.

"How you feeling princess?" Roger asked slowly walking over at her.

"Like crap. My stomach hurts and I feel like I'm gonna barf. I didn't though." she looked up at him as he crouched down next to her to rub her back.

"That's OK. When we get home I'll make you some chicken broth and you can lay down in your room." he smiled leaning down to kiss her head.

"Thanks daddy. You're the best." she looked up at him before sitting up.

"There's a bug going around the school, so be careful, OK? This is how it starts." the nurse informed Jami as she signed the book on her desk.

"We will. Thank you." she smiled at her before turning to her daughter and husband. "Are you ready my sweetheart?" she looked down at her.

"Mhm. I wanna go home." she looked up at her.

"OK sweetie. Let's go." she led the way as Roger slung her book bag on his shoulder before reaching down for her small hand.

"Mom, are you gonna drive?" she asked as they approached the minivan.

"I was thinking about it. I... I did pretty good on the way here." she smiled at her.

"Cool. I missed seeing you drive." she smiled getting into the back seat, buckling her seatbelt.

"Thanks kid." she smiled starting the engine and heading home. When they got there, Frankie went up to her room as Roger headed to the kitchen to make her chicken broth. "Make sure you give her some crackers, OK? It'll settle her stomach." she smiled taking her purse off of her shoulder.

"Yes Baby." he smiled taking the pot out of the cabinet. "You know James, if she's getting a stomach virus, we need to call my mom." he looked over at her.

"Roger, it's not a stomach virus. Her stomach just hurts. She can stay here where I can take care of her." she looked over at him.

"James, we're both positive. We can't get sick. Ever." he looked over at her.

"I know we're positive Roger. I'll be careful, but I'm not gonna send my baby away. She needs me to take care of her." she looked over at him.

"James, I know this is hard for you. It always is, but I don't think you're really grasping the severity of the situation." he leaned against the counter.

"What severity? Roger, she has a simple stomach ache. It's not life threatening." she shrugged him off walking over to the kitchen table.

"Not to her, but James, a simple stomach virus to her could be life threatening to us. After all these years, I would have thought you realized that." he turned away from her.

"I... I do realize that Roger. I remember your PCP back before she was born. We... we thought you were gonna die. It's just... she's my child. A couple of months ago, I didn't even know who she was, but she's my child. I can't let your mother take care of her, she's my child." she held back her tears attempting to keep her voice down.

"James, I know she's your child. She's you to a t. But you're my wife and we're HIV positive. We need to take care of ourselves. If we don't, we won't be around long enough to continue taking care of her and her brother." he insisted walking over to her.

"She needs me Roger. If I was a normal mother, I'd be able to take care of her when she's sick." she looked over at him as her tears rose to the surface, spilling from her bright blue eyes.

"You are a normal mother Baby. You love that girl like no one else ever could. You worship her and Davis. What is this really all about?" he asked sitting on the chair next to her.

"I'm HIV positive Roger and my daughter is sick. I can't take care of her. Not because I don't know how to, but because if I get sick I could die." she told him, choking back tears.

"I'm so sorry James. I'm... I'm so sorry I did this to you. You... you should be able to take care of our daughter and you can't and that's my fault." he got up to pace around the kitchen.

"Roger, do you remember when I told you I was positive?" she asked getting up from her chair.

"Of course I remember James. All that kept flashing through my mind was that I killed you. I love you and I killed you. That day will haunt me for the rest of my life." he looked down at her, fighting his own tears.

"You swore you ruined my life, but you made my life better. Every part of it, since the day we met my life is better because you love me." she looked over at him.

"Yeah, but you resent me because you can't take care of your daughter when she's sick." he looked down at her.

"I could never resent you for anything Roger. You didn't do it on purpose. I know you would never do it on purpose. I just wish I could take care of my kids when they're sick, that's all. I'll... I'll be OK." she reached out for his hand.

"I... I should call my mother. She needs to come by and pick Frankie up. At least for a couple of days." he told her quietly.

"I'm gonna go see if she needs anything, then I'm gonna start packing some things for her to have when she stays at your mother's." she answered beginning to walk away from him. When she let go of his hand, he tightened his grip.

"James, I'm sorry." he looked down at her.

"For what Roger? Loving us. Taking care of us. Forget it. You have nothing to be sorry about." she looked over at him before he let his hand slip for her grasp.

"I'm still sorry." he whispered as she left the room to go up to tend to her daughter.

"How are you feeling sweetheart?" she asked standing in her daughter's doorway.

"My stomach still hurts and I still feel like I'm gonna barf." she looked up at her.

"I'm sorry sweetie. Daddy's making you some chicken broth and crackers, OK?" she looked over at her.

"Mom, you know, you don't have to yell at daddy every time one of us gets sick. We know we have to go to grandma's. It's not a big deal." she looked over at her.

"You weren't meant to hear that sweetie." she walked over to her.

"Mom, it's OK. We know that you and dad can't get sick. Especially since you two have HIV. We're all OK with it." she sat up in her bed.

"But you should be in your own beds when you're sick and have your mom take care of you. Not your grandmother." she tucked her daughter in more.

"Mom, we do have our own beds at grandma's. I love Aunt Heather's room. And Davis loves sleeping in daddy's room. The same room that daddy proposed to you in. We're cool with it. Really." she looked up at her.

"I remember that morning. It was so romantic." she smiled remembering that morning.

"But you and dad were in your pajamas." she laughed looking over at her mother.

"Those must have been some pajamas then, huh?" she giggled looking over at her daughter.

"Mom, oh my gosh. I can't believe you just said that." she laughed at her.

"What? You know how good looking your dad always was, but he was also very charming. When he spoke he swept me off my feet." she smiled at her.

"You sweep dad off his feet. He loves you so much." Frankie smiled up at her mother.

"He loves us sweetheart. We are very lucky that we have a man like daddy in our lives." she smiled at her.

"Daddy always says it's because of you that he's like he is." Frankie smiled.

"Yeah well, your dad gives me too much credit. He was always the man he is, I just gave him a chance to be a husband and a father." she smiled at her.

"You gave me a second chance Baby. I never thought of being a husband or a father until you came into my life." Roger spoke from the door, holding a tray of chicken broth with crackers for his daughter.

"I know he wasn't eavesdropping. He knows how much I hate when this family eavesdrops on each other." she laughed lightly, not turning around.

"Me eavesdrop? No, that's not me. Who do I look like, Heather or Maureen." he chuckled walking into the bedroom as Frankie laughed in her bed.

"You two are so funny and cute. Davis complains about it, but I like it. I like that you guys are like this." Frankie smiled at them.

"Yeah well, it's not cute when your dad listens in on conversations." she smiled lightheartedly before getting up and turning to Roger who was now standing at the foot of his daughter's bed waiting to give her the chicken broth he made her.

"I couldn't help it. I was bringing my princess her chicken broth and I heard my ladies talking. I didn't want to interrupt." he smiled at his wife.

"Yeah, yeah." she laughed patting his upper arm. "I'm gonna start packing some stuff for you. Grandma should be here soon." she looked down at her daughter.

"OK mom. Thank you daddy." she smiled as Roger set the tray in front of her on the bed.

"No problem princess. I love you." she smiled kissing her head before standing up again.

"I know daddy. I love you guys too. You're the best parents anyone could ever have." she smiled picking up her spoon before dipping it into her bowl.

"You make it easy kiddo." he smiled down at her before turning to his wife, who had taken out Frankie's duffel bag to put clothes into it. "Why don't you eat your broth princess?" he smiled before going over to his wife.

"I'm fine Roger. Really." she told him quietly as she packed her daughter's bag.

"You don't have to be James. It's OK to feel helpless sometimes." he whispered to her.

"Talking to Frankie helped. A lot. She's you too, you know? She is exactly like you." she smiled looking up at him. "I'm glad your the father of my children." she looked up at him. The light in her eyes was back.

"It was a pleasure for me to father your children." he smiled, whispering in his wife's ear before turning to leave the bedroom. Jami took a deep breath and smiled before continuing to pack her daughter's bag. The butterflies in her belly grew whenever Roger was around her. Especially when he said things like that to her. She smiled wider, tossing clothes and pajamas into her daughter's bag to last a couple of days.


	107. Chapter 107

2 years later and not much has changed. Roger and Jami are still recording music, but Jami has dedicated a lot of her time to writing screenplays again. Her and Mark are collaborating on something they hope to be very proud of. On this day, Roger is in the basement writing a song and Jami is out getting Frankie to her singing lesson. Davis is 16 and in his room doing his homework. He's stuck on something in math and goes downstairs to ask his father for help. When he gets to the bottom of the stairs, he sees his father unconscious on the floor. "Dad." he calls out rushing over to him, shaking him. "Dad. Dad get up." he pleads taking the cell phone out of his pants pocket. He begins to dial his mother's cell phone number when his father comes to.

"Dav... Davis, what... what happened?" he asks looking up at his son.

"Dad, you were on the floor. What happened?" he asked closing his phone.

"I'm... I'm fine son. Help me up." he looked up at him, taking his sons hand.

"Dad, I should call mom." he looked over at him opening his phone again.

"No, I'm... I'm fine." he snapped taking his sons phone away from him.

"Dad, what the hell? You were laying on the floor unconscious. Mom should know. And you should go to the hospital to make sure you're OK." he looked at him.

"Davis, I said I'm fine. Leave it alone." he yelled at his son, taking him by surprise.

"Dad, what's going on? And stop telling me that you're fine because I'm not Frankie." his son looked over at him concerned.

"You have to swear not to tell your mother any of this." he looked over at his son.

"I'm not swearing anything until you tell me what's going on." his 16 year old son sat in the chair, bracing for the worst.

"Fair enough." he sighed sitting in a chair opposite his son.

"Dad, are you sick?" he asked looking over at him. He was calmer than he was earlier.

"Yeah. My... my PCP is back and it's worse than last time." he told him in barely a whisper.

"Dad, you... you have to tell mom. She... she needs to know." he stuttered looking over at his father.

"No, the last time was really bad. I... I never want to do that to her again. Ever." he told him getting up from his chair.

"Dad, if it's worse than last time, she needs to know." he told him, getting up from his own chair.

"That's not gonna happen Davis. It was hard enough on her last time. I... I will not do that to her again, so don't ask me to." he looked over at him.

"Dad, I... I know it's gonna be hard, but you can't keep this from her. She needs to know." he lectured his father.

"You don't remember last time Davis, you... you were too young to remember. It hurt your mother more than I ever wanted to hurt her. The last thing I want is to do that to her again." he looked over at him.

"I refuse to keep this from her dad. She's my mother." he argued.

"I'll tell her, just... don't beat me to it, OK? I... I need to figure out how I'm gonna tell her." he looked over at him.

"How? How are you gonna tell her dad? You know any way you tell her it's gonna hurt her." he told him.

"Don't you think I realize that, son? Don't you think I know that my wife is gonna get hurt by this?" he yelled trying to maintain his composure.

"Yeah dad. I... I get it." he looked over at him, clearly angry and hurt.

"I'm... I'm sorry son. I really am. I... I never meant to do any of this to you." he looked over at him.

"You knew you were positive before you met mom. You... you infected her and you had us anyway. How did you not mean to do this to us?" he yelled at his father.

"Davis, I... I know. I'm... I'm sorry." he apologized looking at his son.

"Really dad? Are you really sorry? I mean, you had the chance to stay away from her and you didn't. You... you couldn't. She would have been safe with Uncle Mark, but you had to have her and now look at what you're doing to her." his son told him crying.

"Son, I... I tried to be sorry for falling for her and I... I can't be. I love her and I'll never be sorry for that. Ever." he looked over at his son, fighting his tears.

"But she wouldn't be sick and you wouldn't be beating yourself up about telling her that you're dying." he yelled still crying.

"I'm sorry son. I'm so sorry." he grabbed his son, who was fighting to get away from him, but Roger held on tight to him.

"Why dad? Why are things so messed up?" he cried.

"Because I fell in love with her. I... I couldn't help it. I... I couldn't stay away from her. No... no matter how much I tried to. She... she was meant to be my life Davis. The... the mother of my children. She... she was meant to be my second chance. My... my do over." he cried with his son.

"She loves you dad. She... she never blamed you for anything. She... she lives for you dad. She always has." Davis looked up at his father.

"And you and your sister too. You two are her miracles. You're both negative. That's all she ever wanted." he looked down at him.

"I... I know dad." he looked up at him before wiping the tears from his face. "Um... mom and Frankie are gonna be home soon. I'm... I'm gonna go upstairs and get cleaned up. They shouldn't see me like this. They'll know something's up." he backed away from his father.

"You're right. I'll... I'll tell your mother tonight. I... I just need to tell her alone." he looked over at him.

"OK dad. I... I understand." he cleared his throat, wiping his eyes. "Dad, I'm... I'm sorry I yelled at you." he looked up at his father.

"You didn't do anything wrong Davis. There's no reason to apologize. You had every right to be angry with me. I screwed up a lot in my life and now you, your sister and your mother has to pay for it." he looked over at him.

"No you didn't dad. You love mom and us kids like no one else can. You've done a lot for us. We couldn't imagine anyone else being a better dad than you." he looked over at him.

"Not even Uncle Mark?" he smirked at his son.

"No dad, not even Uncle Mark." he smiled at his father.

"Go upstairs son. I'll be up in a minute." he looked over at him.

"OK dad." he smiled going up the stairs to his room. Roger sat in the chair, leaning forward putting his head in his hands. He didn't want to tell his family that he was sick, but now that his teenage son knew, he had to tell his wife. He remembered the last time he told her that he had PCP. It was so heartbreaking. He never wanted to put her through that again. Ever. She had a break down when she found out that she was losing her husband. To have it be a false alarm was little comfort to them. Here it was 12 years later and his PCP was back with a vengeance. He'd been on the antibiotics for nearly 2 months and his t-cell count was still low. It wasn't coming up like it had all those years before. He knew it was the beginning of the end for him. He had a beautiful, loving wife, a 16 year old son and a 10 year old daughter, and he was dying. There was nothing that could be done about it. He tried to hide it as best as he could, but he had felt short of breath and light headed today and must have collapsed in the studio as he was writing his swan song. The song he was writing was about his wife and kids and the life they provided for him. He was a man of many successes, but none as important as being a good husband and father. He wanted to record it for them and leave it as his glory. Roger took a deep breath and went upstairs to start making dinner.

When Jami and Frankie returned home, they were laughing as they entered the house. "Mom, it's not that bad." Frankie laughed looking over at her daughter.

"Guess I'm not as cool as you, but I thought it was horrible. I don't know how you can like him." she laughed setting her purse by the door before entering the kitchen.

"Mom, he's so cool. How could you not like him?" she whined looking at her.

"Roger, can you please tell your daughter that this Justin Brewster is not talented at all." she smiled looking at her husband who was cooking dinner.

"Justin Brewster? My daughter is listening to Justin Brewster? Honey, your parents are international rock stars. How could you like a kid like Justin Brewster?" he asked looking over at her.

"Dad, he's not bad. He's great." she argued looking over at him.

"I'm very disappointed in you Frankie. I thought you had better taste in music than that." he smiled at her.

"Oh whatever dad. Like you ever heard him anyway." she looked over at him.

"I'm happy to say that I haven't had the misfortune." he laughed looking over at her.

"I bought her the cd. You can listen to it tonight if you want." Jami looked over at him.

"No, thank you. Really. I think I'll live." he laughed looking over at her.

"I'm gonna go do my homework. You two can be annoying if you want, but I'm going upstairs." Frankie looked over at them as she hopped off of the kitchen stool and went upstairs.

"I had to listen to that thing all the way home from the mall. I swear, if there was a way to un hear an album, I'd use that power right now." Jami laughed looking over at her husband.

"Sorry Baby, but she's a pre teen now. It's only the beginning." he smiled leaning down to kiss her.

"Ugh, we never had to deal with this with Davis." she reached back to clutch the back of his shirt.

"That's because he's my son. He likes the good stuff." he laughed looking down at her.

"Oh, so you're saying that Frankie's my daughter who listens to crap?" she laughed looking up at him.

"I never said that. I'm just saying Davis is my son." he covered kissing her head.

"That he is." she smiled up, looking into his sparkling green eyes. "Is everything OK Baby?" she asked sensing something was wrong.

"No, but it can wait till later." he lifted his hand to her face to caress her soft cheek.

"Tell me Roger. Is it bad?" she asked impatiently.

"Yeah, I'm... I'm afraid so. But now isn't the time." he looked down at her as they heard the front door open. It was Mark, Maureen, Michael and James.

"Roger, I..." she started when James rushed in, interrupting them.

"Aunt Jami, guess what?" he asked.

"What my sweetie pie?" she asked holding back her tears.

"Dad said that he's gonna help me make a movie." he told her excitedly.

"That's great. I bet it'll be the best movie ever." she smiled leaning down to pick the boy up.

"Is everything OK Jami?" Mark asked looking over at her noticing that something wasn't right.

"Yeah, um... can... can you finish up dinner Maureen? Me and Roger need to talk about something." she put James down before grabbing her husbands arm. She didn't wait for an answer before dragging him towards that basement.

"Sure Jami." she told her quietly, but she didn't hear her. "This is really bad, isn't it?" She looked at Mark, knowing what was going on.

"James, I said it can wait until later." Roger insisted looking down at his wife.

"No, I'm not sitting at the dinner table across from my whole family not knowing what's wrong. You're gonna tell me right now. What's going on Roger?" she scolded looking up at him.

"I'm sick." he whispered looking down at her.

"Is it the PCP? Is it back?" she asked looking up at him. He couldn't get the words to come out of his mouth so he nodded. "Oh god. Does... does anyone else know?" she asked as tears began escaping from her eyes.

"Davis. He... he found me on the floor this afternoon. I couldn't catch my breath and I... I felt lightheaded. I must have collapsed. I... I made him swear not to tell you, but I had to promise him that I would." he reached out to caress her face.

"How long have you known?" she asked trying to be calm.

"2 months. I... I didn't tell you because I... I didn't want it to be like last time. If it went away like last time, I... I didn't want to do that to you again.." he looked over at her.

"2 months? You... you waited 2 months to tell me? How... how did I miss it? The... the signs?" she whispered looking up at him.

"There weren't that many symptoms James. I've... I've been hiding a lot of them. I haven't been coughing that much and when I do, I can feel it in time to get out of the room so you don't hear me. I... I didn't want to worry you." he looked down at her.

"Yet here we are Roger. You're sick and you've been hiding it from me. I'm your wife and you've been hiding this from me. 2 months wasted." she yelled walking away from him to pace the studio.

"I'm... I'm sorry James. I... I never meant to do that. I just... I didn't want to worry you if I didn't have to. Especially since the last time. Do you remember that?" he asked walking after her.

"Yes Roger. I... I remember that. I was scared to death. I... I thought I was gonna lose you." she looked over at him.

"I didn't want to do that to you again. You... you lost your spark the last time. I... I remember you running to Collins and Adam. You were so scared and I hated doing that to you. I didn't want to do that again if I didn't have to."

"But you do because it's not like last time, is it? You're dying Roger and there's nothing that our love can do to stop that." she broke down and cried harder. She didn't know what she was gonna do without him in her life.

"I'm sorry James." he whispered taking her into his arms and holding her close to him.

"Me too. Now we have to tell everyone that it's for real this time. How... how long?" she looked up at him.

"Less than a year." he whispered as he tangled his fingers in her long blond hair, holding her face to his chest.

"Oh my god. Frankie won't even be a teenager yet." she cried harder for her daughter's impending grief over losing her father while she was so young.

"I know James. I'm so sorry." he leaned down kissing her head as he cried with her.

"We... we really need to tell her. She... she needs to know. It's not fair that Davis knows and she doesn't." she looked up at him, beginning to regain her composure. She wiped her face of the tears that covered her face.

"It's not like going on tour James. I'm... I'm dying. The... the last thing I want to do is tell her that. I... I don't know if I can take hurting her the way I'm hurting you. Can't we have one more night of normalcy before we tear her world apart?" he looked down at her.

"I... I don't see why not. Tomorrow's Friday and we can have all weekend to help her through it." she looked up at him.

"Thanks James. We... we better get upstairs. Mark and Maureen are gonna wonder what's going on and I have to finish making dinner. I made the kids favorite." he smiled wiping his eyes.

"Chili and egg noodles?" she looked up at him.

"Yeah, I figured it would be nice." he smiled at her.

"It will be nice. They'll... they'll like that." she looked up at him.

"I love you James. Never, ever forget that." he insisted looking down at her.

"Roger, I... I love you more than you could ever imagine. A couple of years ago I didn't even know who you were, but I always felt that we were connected. Having you hold my hand always calmed me." she looked up at him.

"I know James. I always knew." he caressed her face.


	108. Chapter 108

Later that night Jami sat in hers and Roger's bedroom as he sat in Frankie's room helping her with her homework. There was a knock at the door that shook her out of her thoughts. "Hmm, come in." she called out. As the door opened slowly, her son's face appeared in the doorway.

"Mom, can... can I come in?" he asked quietly.

"Sure sweetie." she looked up at him.

"Mom, I know dad told you about him being sick. I'm... I'm sorry." he looked over at his mother.

"Oh sweetie, I should be the one apologizing to you. You're 16 years old and your father is dying. It's not fair. None of this is fair." she looked over at him, tears stinging her eyes.

"No, it's not fair mom." he slowly made his way over to his mother, before sitting on the edge of the bed. He started into his mother's aging face, seeing the youth she once had in her blue eyes. She looked over at him, a small smile crossed her face.

"You look more and more like your father everyday, you know that?" she reached out, taking her sons hand.

"Thanks. I... I take that as a compliment." he looked at her.

"You should. Your... your father is a good man. The... the best I've ever met." she smiled at him.

"Mom, I know there's nothing I can say to make it better for you, but you gave dad the best love a man could ever have wanted. We see it everyday you two are together." he smiled at her.

"Thank you Davis. But everything we have is because of him. When I lost my memory a few years ago, he was there. He was patient with me and he helped me remember everything we ever had. Even you kids. I... I owe him everything." she told him, starting to cry.

"I know mom. It's OK." he wrapped his arms around his mother's slight body and comforted her. He knew this was just the beginning. He would be comforting her through his father's sickness and eventually his death. He was the man of the house and knew this was just the beginning of it.

"I'm sorry you have to grow up so fast. You should be worrying about girls and graduating high school and going to college. Not... not taking care of your mother and your sister. I... I'm the grown up here. I... I should be taking care of you and your sister. Not... not the other way around." she pulled back from him, wiping the tears from her face.

"It's OK mom. I'm... I'm ready. I... I can do it." he looked over at her.

"But I'm not Davis. I'm... I'm not ready to steal your adolescence away from you. We... we didn't work as hard as we did to give you everything we could to steal your life from you now." she got up from the bed going over to her dresser where a picture of her, Roger, Davis and Frankie sat. It was from the previous Christmas. They were standing in front of a large Christmas tree, smiling.

"You're not stealing my life from me mom. This is my life. My family, like... like dad." he turned looking over at her.

"Davis, stop arguing with me. You're going to college and you're going to have a life outside of taking care of this family. I can take care of this family fine on my own." she looked over at him.

"You don't have to mom. I'm here." he looked over at her.

"Your father didn't do you any good by giving you his worrying nature, you know? I swear the two of you are so frustrating." she looked over at him.

"Mom, you taught me that too, you know? The importance of this family. It's... how you guys raised us. I'm not gonna go away to college with dad sick or even dying. I'll go to college around here so I can be here for you and Frankie." he looked up at her.

"No Davis. You want to go to U of C and that's where you're going to go. I will not have you postponing anything for me." she looked over at him.

"Mom, I'm gonna be an adult soon and you have to deal with me making my own decisions about my life. And if I want to go to school here, then I will. I'm not a kid anymore." he snapped before storming out of the bedroom, slamming the door behind him.

"What the hell is going on in here?" Roger asked rushing into the bedroom. Jami was leaning against the dresser, silent tears streaming down her face.

"Davis... he... he thinks he's gonna go to college here to take care of me and Frankie when you're gone. I... I won't let him do that to his life. I refuse." she told him quietly looking over at him.

"You're damn right he's not. I'll go talk to him." he turned on his heels going towards his sons room. He knocked on the door before barging in. "What the hell is this your mother is telling me about you not going to U of C like you want to?" he asked looking over at him.

"They're gonna need me here dad. I can't just abandon them to go to college out west." he looked up from his bed.

"Your mother can take care of this family fine without you. U of C is too important to you to blow off. We won't let you do it, no matter how sick or dead I am." he looked over at him.

"Dad, I'm gonna be 18. You can't stop me." he told him quietly before Roger stepped more into the bedroom, shutting the door behind him.

"Listen to me Davis. I... I know you're heart is in the right place, but it's important to me and your mother that you do what you want to do with your life. You don't need to take care of this family. You need to work on making a life for yourself first. That's how you can help this family. Be whatever you want to be." he sat on his sons bed, speaking calmer now.

"Dad, mom and Frankie are gonna be devastated when you die. I don't plan on leaving them. That's not how you and mom raised me." he looked over at him.

"We also didn't raise you to ignore your own gift. Davis, you have this gift that you need to share with the world. Like your mother and I have. That's what we want for you." he looked at his son, intent on what he was saying.

"Yeah, but dad, I don't have the luxury of being selfish. I have to take care of things when you're gone. This family is my responsibility." he looked up at his father.

"No Davis, this family is mine and your mothers responsibility. We are not raising you to take over when I'm gone. We're raising you to create your own life and take responsibility with your own family."

"Dad, you know as well as I do that I'm not gonna have my own family." he told him quietly.

"What is that supposed to mean? Of course you're gonna have your own family. I mean, you're only 16 so you don't see it now, but you're gonna have a family and you're gonna be a great husband and father." Roger explained looking over at his son.

"Dad, I'm not gonna get married or have kids. I'd... I'd be too afraid that I wouldn't be as good as you were and I'd probably only mess it up anyway." he looked at his father before lowering his gaze to the floor in front of him.

"You know, I felt the same way when I met your mom. I was always afraid that I wouldn't be as good to her and our kids as my dad was to my mom and us. But your mom reassured me that I'd be a great husband and father. She... she really had faith in me. Even when I didn't have it in myself." he smiled at him.

"But dad, you guys set the bar so high. How can anyone ever measure up to what you guys raised us with?" he asked fighting his tears.

"You don't have to measure up son. All you have to do is the best you can do. That'll be enough. It's enough for us." he looked over at him, putting his hand on his sons shoulder.

"Dad, when... when the time comes, mom is gonna be a mess. I have to be here for her, until... until she gets stronger again." he looked over at his father as tears fell from his eyes.

"Your mom is the strongest woman I know. It... it shouldn't take long." he looked over at him.

"You're her life dad. It's gonna take longer than you think." his son cried as he reached out and held him close to him.

"You guys are my life too Davis. You have no idea what you've all given me." he whispered, crying with his son.

"Yeah dad, I do. You... you make sure we know everyday." he cried holding his father tight.

"I love you son." he kissed his sons blond hair over and over again as he held on tight to him.

"I love you too dad. I... I don't want you to die. This... this totally sucks." he cried into his father's chest.

"I know it does son. I... I know." Roger agreed as they cried together. Jami stood outside her sons bedroom door listening, silently shedding her own tears.

"I thought you hated when we eavesdropped on one another." Maureen whispered as she came down the stairs from getting James ready for bed.

"I'm sorry Maureen. I... I couldn't help it." she lifted her hands to dry her face.

"It's OK sweetie. Come on. You don't want to get caught out here by Roger. With everything you've put us through over the years, you'd never hear the end of it." she put her arm around Jami's shoulder and brought her into hers and Roger's room.

"I'm sorry, I... I don't know..." she started when she broke down in Maureen's arms.

"It's OK sweetie. Let it out. Come on." Maureen led her over to the bed and comforted her best friend in her arms.

"Roger's dying and Davis thinks he has to carry the weight of the world on his shoulders. He's... he's only 16. he shouldn't have to keep worrying about me all the time. He's still just a boy." she looked over at her.

"He's not a little boy anymore sweetie. He's gonna be 18 in less than 2 years, but he's his father's son. He wants to take care of everything. He thinks that's what Roger wants him to do." she looked down at her.

"But we don't want him to do that. We... we want him to have everything we had. More because he's not facing AIDS. He's gonna get to have a long prosperous life with the person he chooses to love. That's what we want him to do. Not take care of me for the rest of mine." she looked up at her.

"He's a good boy Jami. You raised him that way. I've always admired how you and Roger are with the kids. Even mine. My boys look up to you two. Your strength has given this family so much, but face it. When Roger's gone, you're not gonna be the Jami that we know and love. You're gonna miss your husband. Your... your soul mate. There's nothing any of us can do to make that pain go away. Davis is just trying to preparing for it." she looked down at her.

"Well, I'm the mother around her and I want him to do things with his life outside of this family. I don't want him thinking he needs to take care of me his whole life. I won't have it Maureen." she got up to walk around the bedroom.

"But he's Roger's son. And you know how stubborn Roger is. His son is 16 and 10 times worse." she laughed, trying to lighten the mood.

"I wish he was stubborn enough to beat this damn disease." she looked over at her.

"Yeah, me too Jami." she got up to hug her best friend as Roger was the one eavesdropping this time. He lifted his hands wiping the tears from his face before running his fingers through his short blond and gray hair and entered the bedroom.


	109. Chapter 109

Roger and Jami told Frankie the next evening about his illness. She took it better than they both expected. She cried, but then she vowed to make Roger's remaining time with them special. She was strong like her parents. Maureen and Mark told 17 year old Michael and 6 year old James. James didn't understand, but Michael did and he was like his father. Quietly observing his family react to this horrible news. Collins and Adam came in from the city and vowed to do everything they could to help their family through it. Mrs. Davis and her remaining children were devastated. They would be burying Roger young just as they had buried his father. The Davis/ Cohen house was quiet for next couple of days. No one really knew what to say.

A week later Roger sat in his chair in the basement studio, writing in a beat up notebook. For years he had been writing a journal and keeping it downstairs. He knew his time was drawing to a close and he wanted to write various things down. He wanted his family to read it and understand everything.

_I remember the first day I laid eyes on you. You had your hair up in a ponytail and you weren't wearing any make up. Mark had been talking about this girl that he was working with and that she worked at the corner store too. I couldn't wait to check out the girl that he had been raving about. I was hoping that she would be a girl who could get him out of his funk and finally move on from Maureen. When I walked into the store, I knew right away who he was talking about. You were the most beautiful creature I had ever set my eyes on. When you laughed, the room light up from your smile. I rushed out of the store without even getting what I needed to pick up. I was afraid of you. I knew I should stay away from you and I tried my hardest to do exactly that. I tried to avoid you as much as I realistically could. I didn't want to develop feeling for a girl who was potentially Mark's. I didn't want to take away his chance for happiness. I took enough from him as it was and I didn't want to do it with you. I knew if I allowed myself to, I'd fall for you. I didn't want to cross a line, so I stayed as far away from you as I could. To me, you were Mark's and I wanted to respect that. It was so hard to do. James, you have no idea how hard it was. I have a confession to make. I started following you home from work to make sure that you got there safe. I know how creepy that sounds, but I didn't want anything to happen to you. I imagined myself holding your hand as we walked home together from work. I would lean in and kiss you at the door before taking you in my arms and carrying you up to your apartment. I'd go home and dream about you and imagined myself kissing you, making love to you and waking up holding you in my arms. Staying away from you was the hardest thing I ever did. I found myself resenting Mark for finding you before I could. But I never did much shopping, so I guess it was my own fault for that. I let Mark take care of me and I guess I resented myself for letting him. Had I not, I'd have met you first. I was afraid of my HIV too. I knew you didn't deserve to have to deal with the complications of what me being HIV positive meant. The night that Mark introduced us, I got so drunk. I wanted to forget you. I tried to. Nate and I were supposed to be looking at bands, but I kept imagining myself being with you. I allowed myself to pretend that my HIV didn't matter and imagined being with you. The next day when Mark asked me if I liked you, I couldn't lie to him. He knows me too well for me to get away with it. When I found out you liked me too, I was like a teenager again. I couldn't wait to see you again and this time, I didn't have to stay away from you. On our date, I wanted you so badly. I wanted to hold you in my arms and make love to you night and day. It took a lot for me to stop where our kissing was leading that day in your apartment, but for your health, I did it. I didn't want to take chances with your life. I had to take care of you. You deserved more. The next night when we did make love, I was so scared. I was afraid that it wouldn't be what you deserved it to be because it was what I had been wanting for so long. Long before we ever met I knew that you would be my life. But I thought you were meant for Mark. You'd be better off with Mark. He was safer than I was, but I was falling in love with you already. And now look what you have to endure. You're positive and I'm dying. We have 2 amazing kids and I'm dying on them and you. I'm sorry James, I'm so very sorry. There's no way for me to express how sorry I am for that. You deserve more. You deserve to grow old and gray with the man you love and I can't give that to you. I'm so sorry Jami. I really am. I wish there was more I could do to make you immune to this hurt, but I can't do anything. I'm helpless._

As Roger sat in the basement, Jami sat in hers and Roger's bedroom typing away on her laptop. It wasn't the old one that Roger bought her for Christmas all those years ago. As she tapped the keys, she wasn't concentrating on what she was typing, she was just allowing her fingers to express themselves. Her middle aged, tired fingers just took control.

_Why Roger, why do you have to leave me? Leave us? We have been together for so many years and... I don't know if I know how to live without you. I don't know if you can truly understand how much you've meant to me. Even before we met. You were meant to be my love and my life. I... I was afraid. Afraid of everything back then. Mark told me all about you and showed me your films, you know that part. But you don't know the part about me watching you over and over again. I saw in your eyes that you needed something. Someone actually. I wanted to be that someone. I wanted to be the woman who brought you back to life. I would watch you when you were in the cafe and in the store and see you trying not to look at me, but you would. Out of the corner of your eye, you would look at me and I saw the way your face would change. You would look happy. I knew I was the one who could bring you back to life like Mimi did for you after April died. That's why I convinced Mark to introduce us. I couldn't stay away from you anymore. I never knew that you had been trying to stay away from me. But I'd been scared to get near you. I didn't want to hurt you. I knew if you were hurt one more time, there would be no way for you to be who you were meant to be. The man I married and had to fall in love with all over again after the accident. The man who loved me so much that he would lift heaven and earth to make sure I knew how you felt about me everyday of my life. The man who would father my children and be the best father I could have ever asked for for my children. My children are you inside and out and for that I'm grateful. You made me a singer and a songwriter and even though I fought you the whole time, I was proud to be writing and singing songs along side the greatest man I've ever had the pleasure of having in my life. Now you're dying and I don't know how I'm gonna go on with mine once your life is over. You have given me so much and I don't feel like I've started paying you back. I'm so sorry that you're sick Roger and that you're gonna miss all the amazing moments our children are still gonna have, but most of all I'm sorry that we're not gonna get to grow old together and meet our grandchildren. We're not gonna get to spoil our grandchildren the way our mothers got to spoil our children. I'm afraid that once you go, I'm not gonna be too far behind. I... I know I'm not gonna do it on purpose, because I don't want to leave our children any more than you do, but I'm afraid that I'm not gonna be strong enough to survive with you. I love you so much Roger. _

She stopped typing and realized that she couldn't read what she had written. The tears were streaming down her face and had clouded her vision. "I can't believe this is happening. After all these years, I'm losing him. I'm finally losing him." she cried before setting the laptop aside and lying down on Roger's pillow. She turned her head, breathing in her husbands scent before crying into the pillow. She screamed into her pillow, hoping it would muffle her scream. When she heard the footsteps up the stairs and down the hallway, she realized that it hadn't.

"James, what happened?" Roger asked bursting into the bedroom.

"I'm... I'm not... I'm not ready..." she cried, barely able to breath.

"James, calm down. I'll... I'll get you some water." he told her when she grabbed the sleeve of his shirt.

"No... no, don't leave..." she pleaded looking up at him.

"OK James, I'm not going anywhere." he wrapped his arms around her and held her to his chest.

"Yes you are Roger. You're leaving me and I'm gonna be alone. I don't think I'm strong enough to do it without you Roger." she cried into his chest.

"You're the strongest woman I know James. If anyone can, it's you." he told her beginning to cry with her.

"No, I'm not. You... you keep saying that, but I'm not strong. I'm... I'm a weak, pathetic woman who... who can't live without her husband." she looked up at him.

"You are not pathetic James. You're a strong, vibrant woman. I've seen you over come an ectopic pregnancy, an HIV diagnosis, 2 pregnancies, 2 c-sections, a mugging and an accident that cause temporary amnesia. You can survive anything. I've seen it."

"But I can't survive losing you Roger. You... you got me through all of it. When... when I didn't want to talk to you after the ectopic pregnancy, you didn't let me shut you out. You... you made sure I knew that you loved me and even though we had just suffered one of the most painful experiences parents to be could experience, you still loved me and you were not giving up on us being parents. Then all those years later when I couldn't even remember who you were, you made sure I knew that you would be there when I did. You weren't going anywhere. When I didn't know why the touch of your hand comforted me, you... you explained that it connected us. I had your heart, even though I didn't know it at the time." she looked up at him.

"But you made it through. You did it. And you can do this too. I know it's not gonna be easy and I'm really sorry for that, but you can do it." he looked down at her.

"No... I... I can't do it Roger. You... you can't leave me. I won't be able to handle it." she pleaded, looking up at him.

"James, I'm so, so sorry." he cried holding her tighter to him.

"I'm not. I'm... I'm the happiest woman in the world because of you. That's why you can't leave me Roger. Please, don't." she looked up at him.

"It's not by choice James, you... you have to know that. If... if I had my way, I'd live forever for you and our kids. You're my life and they're the greatest gift you ever gave me. I would never choose to leave you for anything in the world." he cried holding her face in her hands.

"I know Roger and I'm sorry. I just can't think about my life without you, but I... I have to, don't I?" she cried looking up into his green eyes.

"I'm sorry James." he cried as he lay down against the pillows, bringing her with him. The laptop was still on the one side of their king sized bed as they lay on the other side. Jami's face buried in his chest and him clutching on to her, holding on for dear life.


	110. Chapter 110

The next day, Jami was out with Mark, filming in New York City. She wanted to get shots of all the places that she and Roger had been. The Life Cafe, where they met. Outside of her apartment, where they shared their first day together, and outside the loft where she told him that she was positive. She sat on the stoop, thinking about that day. She and Mark had just gotten home from their tour and he was waiting outside for them. She got out of the car, knowing that he would notice that something was wrong. She had lost so much weight during the tour due to her HIV diagnosis and her medication. She was scared to death to tell him. Not due to his reaction towards her, but his punishment of himself. He had sworn since the day they met that he would never hurt her. He would never do anything that would put her in harms way, yet here she was. Telling him that she was HIV positive. The worst thing she could possibly tell him. His first instinct was to run away. He needed time alone. To do what? She was afraid to ask. All she knew was that she couldn't let him go. She needed to protect him just as he had vowed to protect her. As she sat on the steps outside the loft, Mark looked down at her. "Are you OK Jami?" he asked looking down at her.

"No Mark, I'm... I'm not. All the things that we experienced, never prepared me for losing him, you know? He gave me so much and I want more. Is... is that selfish? For me to want more after everything he's been to me?" she asked fighting her tears.

"No Jami, it's not selfish for you to want more. I know he wants more too. Before he met you, he was willing to meet his fate with open arms. He felt he suffered enough and didn't want to wait around for more, but then you came into his life and he started running away from death. He wants to spend all of his time with you and more. He wants to beat this, but we all know that he can't. His time is coming to a close and he's scared. Scared of everything that means." he looked over at her.

"Me too Mark. I'm scared to lose him. I'm... I'm afraid that I'm not gonna be able to survive it." she cried looking up at him.

"You're gonna be a mess, but you won't be alone. I promise. I will never let you be alone." he insisted sitting next to her.

"But I will be alone Mark. For all these years, I slept next to him. He held me when I needed to be held, he made love to me with such care and such passion, I... I don't know if I know how to not feel that way anymore." she cried looking over at him.

"I know Jami, I'm sorry." he looked over at her.

"No, I'm... I'm sorry Mark. I... I shouldn't be laying this on you. It's my own pathetic crap. You're losing him too, aren't you?" she looked over at him.

"Yeah, but I made my peace with it long ago. You've been trying to find your peace with this for all these years and you're still looking." he looked over at her.

"If we had 100 years, I don't think I'd ever find my peace with this." she looked over at him before leaning her head on his shoulder.

"I know honey. I hear ya." he whispered, wrapping his arms around her before kissing her head.

"I'm sorry you and Maureen are gonna have to put up with me like this." she cried into his shoulder.

"Don't worry about it Jami. I'm just sorry you have to go through this." he whispered.

"No, don't be sorry. I'm not. If this is the worst I have to go through for the life that I've had, then I'm a lucky girl." she pulled back from him.

"I know Jami, I'm just saying..." he started when she interrupted him.

"No Mark. I'm not sorry. I could never be sorry for the life I've had with him." she lifted her hands to wipe her face.

"I'm not saying that Jami, I'm just... I'm saying that I didn't want this to touch you and here it is, beating the crap out of you. I'm... I'm sorry I brought this on you." he looked over at her.

"How... how can you say that Mark? You of all people saying that to me. I... I thought you were my best friend. You introduced us. Are you now saying that you're sorry that you did?" she asked getting up from the steps.

"That's not what I mean Jami. I'm just saying that you're in pain and I'm sorry for it. I... I feel responsible for it."

"Mark, you're not responsible for me being in pain, just like you weren't responsible for me being positive. I'm in love with him and I always have been. Even before we met I was in love with him. Seeing him in your films made me fall in love with him. You... you saw this cocky wannabe rock star, but I saw a man who was destined for greatness. He just needed someone to believe in him. I... I believed in him." she looked over at him.

"I always believed in him. What are you talking about?" he asked looking up at her.

"You... you always told me that he used to be great and it just seemed like you gave up on him. Just... the way you talked about him looking for a new band and you used to talk about the way he used to be. It just... it seemed like you gave up on him achieving any greatness." she looked down at him.

"He gave up on himself long before any of us did." he argued getting up from the stoop.

"Yeah well, not me. I... I never gave up on him. I always knew he's be on top again. I always knew I'd get the chance to see him up there again." she looked up at him, tears rising in her eyes again.

"You gave him that Jami. You're the one he did it for. He... he couldn't even find the energy to do it for himself before you. You gave him the strength to do it." he looked down at her.

"But everyone gave up on him. I... I didn't. I never did." she looked up at him.

"I know Jami." he reached down to take her hand.

"I could never give up on him. Ever." she insisted looking into his blue eyes.

"I know Jami, I know." he reached out to hold her in his arms.

"Do you remember when we lived here?" she sniffled, looking up at the fire escape outside the loft.

"We had great times up there, didn't we?" he looked down at her.

"The best times I've ever had in my life." she smiled faintly as tears continued to flow from her blue eyes.

"We were young. Nothing could touch us up there." he wiped the tears from her face.

"We were stupid. We... we didn't realize that we weren't untouchable." she looked up at him.

"I'm sorry Jami." he held her in his arms tighter.

"I know Mark. Thanks for always being my best friend." she looked up at him.

"I'm still your best friend James. I'm not going anywhere." he leaned in to kiss her head.

"But I am Mark. We... we both know that I'm not too far behind Roger. I've... I've been positive a long time. I... I know I'm not gonna out run this forever." she looked up at him.

"Yeah, I... I know honey. Don't... don't remind me." he looked over at her, holding her tighter.

"I'm sorry Mark. I'll try to survive. I... I really will." she cried into his shoulder.

"Come on. We... we should get home." he whispered comforting her.

"Can... can we stay a little while longer? Please?" she sniffled. "I... I missed being here." she looked up at the loft again, remembering all the nights she and Roger would sit out on the fire escape, talking, nestled tightly in one another's arms. A huge blanket underneath them and a vast starry sky above.

"Sure honey. We can stay as long as you want." he smiled faintly down at her.

"Do you remember before me and him got together?" she asked pulling back from him.

"Yep. It was just you and me hanging out all the time. We'd... we'd write, fight, film." he remembered looking down at her.

"I remember the first time you brought me here." she wiped her eyes.

"Me too. I had to pick up more film, so we came here and as soon as we walked in the door you were in awe of how big the living room was." he laughed remembering that day.

"It was bigger than my whole place. I was so jealous." she smiled up at him.

"So that's why you got with him, so you could move into a bigger place." he joked wiping his tears from his eyes.

"Yeah Mark, you got me. I wanted to live in the loft so badly that I seduced your roommate and convinced him to ask me to move in with him." she smiled up at him.

"It wasn't hard. He... he loved you. He... he breathes for you. He always has. Even before you two got together." he smiled at her.

"What... what do you mean?" she asked confused.

"I... I just know that he liked you. He... he thought you were my girlfriend." he stuttered, covering.

"No, I know that part Mark, but... what are you talking about he breathed for me before we met?" she asked.

"He... he used to leave here every night and come home about a half hour later and barricade himself in his room. I got worried, so one night I followed him. He... he went around to the store where you used to work and stood in the doorway across the street. I... I didn't know what he was doing, so I waited. Then I saw you come out of the store and you started walking home. He followed you home every night from work. He would... he'd walk you home. I... I guess to make sure you got home safely." he confessed as she looked up at him.

"He... he used to follow me home at night?" she looked up at him confused.

"Yeah, we were talking about you working at the store around the corner at night and I... I guess he didn't want you to walk home alone. It's was a dangerous neighborhood, even back then." he looked down at her.

"Really? He... he used to walk me home?" she repeated in disbelief.

"I guess he's been taking care of you longer than you realized." he looked over at her.

"How... how come he never told me? After... after all these years?" she asked looking up at him.

"I guess he didn't want to take credit for it. He... he's not that kind of guy. You know that." he looked over at her.

"After all these years, I... I thought he didn't even know I existed until you introduced us. I... I thought that you were responsible for getting us together, but it... it was him. He... he just didn't approach me. Why... why couldn't he approach me before that?" she asked sitting on the steps again.

"I don't know Jami. I... I guess you need to ask him." he looked over at her.

"I... I don't know if I should. He... he might not want me to know about it. I mean, like you said, he's not that kind of guy." she looked up at him.

"He's your husband James. You can talk to him about it." he smiled at her.

"I know, it's just... I don't want him to get uncomfortable if I mention it." she looked over at him.

"Honey, you could never make him uncomfortable. He loves you." he smiled at her.

"I love him too. So much Mark." she smiled at him.

"I know Jami. I know." he smiled wrapping his arm around her shoulders bringing her to him.

"We should be getting home. Roger should have dinner ready soon." she looked over at him.

"Yeah, your wonderful chef of a husband." he smiled at her.

"Who would have known, huh?" she laughed at him.

"Yeah, I know. Color me surprised." he smiled at her.

"Thank god for Roger. Otherwise, our children would starve." she laughed.

"You're not kidding. You, Maureen and I are useless." he smiled at her as they got up and left for home.


	111. Chapter 111

Later that night, Roger and Jami are sitting up in bed. Jami's on her laptop, editing a screenplay and Roger is reading a book that Davis is reading in school. The kids are in bed and Mark and Maureen are in their room. Jami takes a deep breath before turning to Roger, taking her glasses off. "Roger, did you used to follow me home from the store before we met?" she asked looking over at him.

"What?" he asked looking up from his book.

"Did you used to follow me home from the store where I used to work before we met?" she asked looking over at him.

"Who told you that?" he asked setting the book on his lap.

"Mark. He... he said for months before we met, you used to leave the loft late at night and one night he followed you. He... he was worried about what you were doing, so he followed you and he noticed that you were waiting across the street from the store and then when I left, he watched you follow me home and then turn around and go back to the loft after I got home." she looked over at her.

"Yes, I... I used to walk you home at night. It was always a dangerous neighborhood and I... I didn't want anything to happen to you." he looked over at her.

"How come you never told me that you did that?" she asked shutting her laptop before turning to him.

"I was embarrassed. It... it was creepy. I know that." he looked over at her.

"It's not creepy Roger, it's sweet. I... I never knew that you had feelings for me before we met." she smiled taking his hand.

"I have a confession to make James." he held her hand in his.

"What? More?" she smiled at him.

"Yeah, a... a lot more." he smiled at him.

"OK?" she smiled curious.

"When Mark started working with you, he was telling me about you and that you worked at the store around the corner, so I went around there to see you. I was hoping that you'd be a match for Mark, you know? I mean, he was still hurting over Maureen and I was hoping that you'd be able to help him move on. Then when I saw you, I... I didn't want you to be for Mark. I... I wanted you to be for me. But I was afraid to approach you, because I didn't want to take you away from Mark. Mark's given up so much for me. But I wanted you. I wanted to be with you. I'd... I'd imagine myself holding you, kissing you, making love to you... I was borderline obsessive. I felt like I needed to stay away from you for Mark. But I cared about you and I didn't want anything to happen to you." he confessed looking over at her.

"Roger, I... I cared about you too. Way before we met. But you knew that. I... I told you that a long time ago." she smiled with tears rising up in her blue eyes.

"I'm sorry I never told you that before. I... I was embarrassed and I guess I was afraid that I wouldn't still be that cool guy to you if you knew." he looked over at her.

"Roger, you will always be the cool guy to me. The captain of the football team dating the AV geek." she smiled at him.

"No way, we've always been the head cheerleader and the freak rocker guy." he laughed lifting his hand to her face.

"Why don't we just call ourselves the hot rock star and the rock chick." she laughed leaning in to him, stopping just inches from his face.

"Deal." he whispered closing the distance and kissing her deeply.

"I love you so much Roger." she whispered breaking the kiss. He grasped the back of her head before laying her down against her pillows. He rolled his body onto hers, tossing the book onto the floor.

"You're my life James. You always have been, you always will be." he moaned playing with the buttons on her pajama top.

"I know Roger. I've always known." she whispered finding his lips with hers again. "Make love to me Roger." she pleaded looking into his green eyes.

"I was hoping we could." he smiled lifting his hand to caress her face.

"No, I... I mean really make love to me Roger. With... without anything between us." she stuttered nervously.

"James, you... you know what that means, don't you?" he asked calmly looking into her eyes.

"Yes Roger. I... I know what that means. I... I know your viral load is higher than mine, but for once I... I want to feel you. Please, I... I need to feel you Roger. Don't say no, please." she pleaded fighting her tears.

"OK James." he agreed quietly before leaning in to kiss her.

"Really?" she asked in disbelief.

"Yes James. I... I want to feel you too. I've been dying to feel you for all these years." he whispered, wiping the tear that had escaped her eye with his thumb.

"Thank you Roger." she smiled as he leaned in to kiss her again. It was the most passionate kiss they had shared for many years. They continued undressing one another before making love for the first time without a condom between them. It was the most amazing experiences of both of their lives.

"That was the most amazing feeling I've ever felt in my life." he smiled down at her as she lay naked on his chest.

"Thank you so much Roger." Jami smiled with tears streaming down her eyes.

"Baby, what's the matter?" he asked caressing her face.

"Nothing Roger. Really. That was... that was the most beautiful experience we have ever shared." she looked up at him as he caressed the tears from her face.

"I know Baby. But that can never happen again. I can't put your life in anymore danger then I already have. I... I want you to go get your blood tested in a few weeks to make sure your viral load hasn't shifted." he looked down at her.

"OK Roger. You're... you're right. We... we can't afford for me to get sick too." she looked up at him.

"I just don't want anything to happen to you Baby. Ever." he caressed her face with his thumb.

"I... I understand Roger. I... I really do." she put her head on his chest feeling his breathing.

"I love you James." he whispered kissing her head.

"I know. I love you too." she smiled up at him before laying back down and falling asleep nestled in his arms.

The next morning, Roger woke up first and stared down at his naked wife, who was still sleeping. He smiled remembering the previous night. Making love without a condom between them. He started feeling very anxious. He was afraid that he had knocked Jami's viral load out of whack, but it was a beautiful experience. It was nice that after 17 years, there was still something new for them to experience together. But he meant what he said the previous night. That can never happen again. In the last 17 years, he had never felt as close to his wife as he had when they made love. He leaned his head back more into the pillow and closed his eyes when he felt his wife move under him. "Good morning Baby." he smiled tilting his head to look down at her.

"Was I dreaming? About... about last night? Did we really...?" she asked looking up at him.

"Yeah Baby, we... we really did." he smiled faintly, not sure of her reaction.

"I was afraid that I was dreaming. I know we can't ever do it again, but that was the most beautiful thing I've ever felt." she looked up at him.

"Me too. I never felt so close to you as I did last night." he leaned down to kiss her.

"Do you remember in the beginning when we would get frustrated because we couldn't make love because we were out of condoms?" she asked remembering their first year together.

"Yeah, I... I do. I never wanted to get this damn disease out of my body more than I did at those moments." he looked down at her.

"I know, me too." she looked up at him.

"But now I want to take this damn disease out of my body to grow old and gray with you." he looked down at her.

"Roger, don't. Please." she pleaded quietly before getting out of bed.

"I'm sorry Baby. I... I didn't mean to..." he called out looking over at her as he sat up in bed.

"I know Roger. You... you have no reason to be sorry. I... I want that too, it's just... we... we can't change what's already done. All we can do is live our lives the way it is now. That's all we can do." she looked over at him as she put her pajamas on.

"You're right Baby. I know you're right. I just wish I could change things. To be with you and our kids longer." he got out of the bed and walked over to her.

"Me too." she smiled wrapping her arms around her husband's naked body.

"It's still early yet. Do you wanna go for round two? I have supplies in the nightstand." he smiled at her.

"I'd love to, but I can't. I have to go downstairs and edit some stuff me and Mark did yesterday." she smiled leaning up to kiss him.

"Are you kidding? You're blowing me off? Seriously?" he looked down at her. "Like this?" he raised his arms showing off his naked body to her.

"Baby, as tempting as it is, I have to. I have a lot to do downstairs in the studio. But I'll take a rain check." she reached over to the back of the door to retrieve her bath robe.

"Oh come on. Look, I'm ready for you." he smiled looking down at his erection.

"Oh honey, I'm sorry." she laughed dropping her bath robe on the floor and unbuttoning her pajama top again.

"You love to torture me, don't you?" he wrapped his arms around her waist and carried her to the bed.

"It's why you love me." she giggled as he threw her on the bed as he crawled on the bed next to her, kissing her passionately. Roger reached over to his nightstand and took a condom out as they made love.

"God, they are so immature. Together almost 20 years and they still act like teenagers." Maureen groaned coming down from hers and Mark's bedroom.

"Oh stop. I like it. At least they still have their spark. Especially after everything they've been through." he smiled putting his arms around her.

"I guess it's nice to see that Roger's gonna have a full and satisfying sex life when he dies." she giggled looked over at him.

"Never let it be said that Roger Davis did not have a satisfying sex life." he smiled as they left to go downstairs.


	112. Chapter 112

It's 3 weeks later and Jami and Roger are sitting in the waiting room in the doctor's office. Roger is nervous because they were getting Jami's blood test results. Ever since the night they made love without protection, he's been on pins and needles. He was afraid that his selfishness shifted her viral load and he kept thinking the worst. Jami is reading a parenting magazine about raising a teenager. Heaven knew that she had experience with 2 teenage boys and Frankie was hot on their tail with James not too far behind. Roger's eyesight shifted back and forth between his wife and the door to the doctor's office. "Roger, calm down. They're probably running behind. It's not a big deal." she looked up at him, seeing his impatience.

"Sorry James. I... I guess I never get used to this." he looked over at her.

"There's nothing to worry about. You know how unlikely it is that one time threw my viral load out of whack. Especially in our situation." she reached over to take his hand in hers.

"I.. I know James. I... I still worry though." he smiled leaning over to kiss her head.

"I like when you worry about me. It lets me know that I'm loved." she smiled leaning her head on his broad shoulders as the nurse called her name. "My turn." she smiled at him. They silently got up and followed her to the doctor's office. Roger fiddled with his wedding ring as they waited for the doctor to come into the office.

"Jami, Roger, how are you two today?" the doctor smiled at them as he entered the room.

"Great. How about you?" Jami smiled knowing Roger was too nervous to be cordial.

"Pretty good. I have your test results here and I'm happy to say, you're fine." he smiled at her.

"Really? She's... she's OK?" Roger asked looking up at the doctor.

"Yes Roger, she's fine. I wouldn't recommend pulling a stunt like that too often, but she's no worse from it. You on the other hand, I... I have to say... your t-cell count is stable." he looked over at them.

"What... what does that mean?" he asked looking up at him.

"It means, you're no better, but you're also no worse, so I guess you're hanging in there for now." he looked over at him.

"Does that mean he has more time?" Jami asked fighting tears.

"I... I don't know what that means Jami. I mean, he could have a little while longer or it could just be the slowing down of the disease. It's... it's full blown AIDS, but as long as he's not having respiratory issues, he should be OK at home for now." he looked over at them.

"I... I haven't. I mean, on... on occasion I'm short of breath, but I'm 45 years old and I used to smoke, so it happens, you know?" he looked over at him.

"And no more collapses since the last time?" he asked looking over at him.

"No, just that one time when Davis found me." he looked over at Jami.

"That's good to hear. How are the kids taking all of this?" he asked looking at them.

"Davis is getting over protective and I really don't think Frankie grasps the severity of everything. I mean, she says she understands, but she's 10 years old. How could she possibly understand when we don't even understand?" Jami looked over at him holding back tears.

"Jami, have you two ever thought of maybe going to family counseling? You know, to help you and the kids deal with all of this? Maybe bring Mark, Maureen, Michael and James along too?" he asked looking at him.

"Yeah, maybe you're right. We... we could all use all the help we can get dealing with this." she looked over at him.

"Well, I happen to know someone very good with this form of family counseling. I can set up an appointment if you'd like." he said looking over at them.

"I... I think that would be a good idea. Thank you doctor." Roger smiled faintly at him before taking Jami's hand in his and they left the doctor's office.

"Are you OK?" Jami asked looking up at her husband as they walked through the parking lot to their car.

"I'm fine James. You're OK. That's... that's all that matters to me." he looked down at her.

"Roger, you need to stop putting everyone else above yourself. Your... your health is important too." she looked up at him.

"My health is hopeless James, my... my main concern is you now." he looked down at her.

"Your health is not hopeless Roger. You... you heard the doctor, you may not be getting any better, but you're not getting any worse either. That's... that's a good thing." she stopped in the middle of the parking lot, just short of their car.

"I know James, that's not what's worrying me. I'm... I'm worried about the fact that he can't tell me what that means. I... I don't know how much time I have left with you and the kids." he stood in front of her caressing her upper arms.

"So we treat everyday as if it were the last. Isn't that what Mimi and Angel taught you?" she asked looking over at her.

"Yeah Baby. That's what they taught me. 20 years ago. We were young and jaded back then." he looked over at her.

"But it still rings true Roger. I have tried never to take us for granted. Maybe I did a little bit, but I have always tried to live our lives as if everyday was a gift. A wonderful gift that we gave each other." she looked up at him.

"You're my gift James. Everything I've been through wasn't in vein, because you were waiting for me at the end of the tunnel. You're my light." he whispered leaning down to kiss her gently.

"Your second chance." she smiled looking into his green eyes.

"Yep. My second chance." he smiled taking her into his arms.

"And those kids are our miracles." she smiled leaning her head into his muscular chest.

"They are what I'm leaving behind for you James. You're not going to be alone. I will survive in the eyes and spirits of those kids." he whispered kissing her head over and over again. Grasping her hair in his hands.

"I know. That's... that's my only consolation in all of this." she tilted her head up to look at him. Her 45 year old husband. The man she had shared the last 18 years of her life with. The man who had been her everything since before they actually met. She found herself feeling nostalgic of the time they've spent together. Her pregnancies when she would snap at his every breath, the pride he always had for her upon delivery of their children, when he bought their house for her the Thanksgiving she was pregnant with Frankie, going on tour with him to do what he loved and what she was obviously good at. 2 years earlier, she couldn't even remember who he was but now those intimate moments they shared kept swimming through her head. Knowing that they had limited time to create new intimate moments together. He kissed her head before nudging her to look at him.

"We should be getting home." he looked down at her.

"Yeah, you're right. The kids will be home from school soon. And I have to take Davis and Michael to get their outfits for the dance this weekend." she looked up at him.

"Let me take him Baby. I'd... I'd really like to take them. I promise I won't let them get worn jeans and a heavy metal shirt." he smiled at her.

"OK Roger. I'm... I'm sure they'd like that." she looked up at him.

"Maybe I'll bring Frankie with me and we can go to the CD store. I'm sure there's another Justin Brewster CD out already that she's dying to get." he smiled at her.

"You might regret that decision." she laughed looking up at him.

"I might, but I pretty sure I won't. Any time I get with them is time well spent." he smiled at her.

"They worship you Roger. You're their hero. You always have been and now that they're older, you still are. Their cool rock star dad." she smiled at him.

"They're not too bad themselves." he smiled at her as they went to their minivan before getting in and heading home.


	113. Chapter 113

Roger, Davis, Michael and Frankie were out at the mall shopping. Jami was sitting in the kitchen, drinking a cup of coffee thinking about the family going to a therapist. As she sat alone, Mark, Maureen and James entered the house. "Hello." Maureen called out.

"In here." Jami called out, setting her coffee cup aside before getting up from the kitchen table.

"How did the doctor go?" Mark asked as Maureen helped James take his coat off.

"Fine. My... my viral load is exactly where it's been all these years. Roger's no worse. He's no better, but no worse at the same time. I... I guess that's good news." she looked over at him.

"That's great news Jami. We're glad to hear that." Maureen smiled at her.

"Aunt Jami, where's Uncle Roger?" James asked looking up at his aunt.

"He took Michael and Davis to get clothes for their dance tomorrow night. And then he's taking Frankie to the CD store for a new CD. He'll be home in a little while." she smiled patting the 6 year olds head.

"Not Justin Brewster again." Maureen groaned looking over at her.

"If he has a new one out, then I'm afraid so." she laughed looking over at her.

"Oh boy." she mumbled before going into the kitchen.

"James honey, can you go play in the play room until everyone gets home please? I need to talk to mommy and daddy for a little while." she smiled down at the boy.

"OK." he smiled rushing into the play room.

"What's the matter Jami? Is there more?" Mark asked going into the kitchen with her.

"The doctor thinks it would probably be a good idea for us to all go see a therapist. Family therapy." she looked over at him.

"That's a good idea Jami. At least for you and the kids." Maureen looked over at her.

"Not just us Maureen. You and Mark and your boys too. This effects all of us." she looked over at her taking her coffee cup off of the kitchen table preparing for a refill.

"James is too little to understand what's going on." Mark looked over at her.

"But when his Uncle Roger is here one day and gone the next, he's gonna wonder where he went. What are we gonna tell him then Mark? That he went on tour and hope he never asks about him again?" Jami asked looking over at her best friend.

"No Jami, I just don't think it's constructive to prepare him for this. It's bad enough the other kids know. And they're still not gonna be prepared for it." he looked over at her, trying to keep his voice down.

"That's why we should talk to someone. The doctor said that he knew someone for just this kind of thing." she looked over at him.

"What kind of thing Jami? Helping kids deal with losing someone they worship to AIDS?" he asked bitterly as Maureen gave him a look.

"Mark, that's not fair. We all knew this day would come and now that it's almost here, we don't have the right to sit here and act like we're all shocked. We knew it and we brought those kids into this world anyway." she yelled at him, forgetting James was in the play room.

"Mark, Jami, calm down." Maureen intervened stepping in between them.

"I'm... I'm sorry Maureen. I'm just... I... I can't talk to him when he gets like this. He's so... ugh." she groaned rushing out of the room and up to her bedroom.

"Well, are you happy now Mark? Did you really have to do that?" Maureen looked over at Mark with her hands on her hips.

"She's so delusional Maureen. Like some therapist is gonna make losing Roger easier on her and the kids. Nothing is gonna make it easier. I don't know when she's gonna realize that." Mark snapped at her before going over to dump Jami's coffee in the sink.

"We all need therapy Mark. It's too much for any of us to handle and when Roger's time comes, Jami and the kids are gonna be the ones to suffer the most. If she thinks it would help, I think we should support her." Maureen looked over at him before leaving the room and going up the stairs to Jami.

"Daddy, why were you, mommy and Aunt Jami fighting?" James asked rushing into the kitchen.

"Daddy sometimes say stupid things and girls don't like that." he looked over at his son.

"If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all. That's what you and mommy always say." he looked up at Mark as he climbed on one of the kitchen chairs.

"Yeah buddy. Sometimes daddy forgets." he smirked over at his son.

Upstairs, Jami and Maureen are sitting in Jami's bedroom, as Jami cried into Maureen's shoulder. "Why does he have to act like that all the time? He knows how hard this is on all of us. Not just me and the kids, but you and him too." she looked over at her friend.

"I don't know sweetie. Mark's been in denial about losing Roger for so long that now that it's getting closer, he... he doesn't know how to handle it. Roger and Mark have been friends for a long time. They've been through a lot together." Maureen whispered comforting Jami.

"Why... why does he have to act like that though? Why does he have to be so... so... horrible?" she asked looking over at her.

"He's not horrible Jami. He just... he's scared. He's been scared since they found April in the bathroom and the note she left telling Roger his fate. And when Angel died and then Mimi. We've all be scared since then." she explained to her.

"I... I understand Maureen. But that's more of a reason for us to see a therapist. We all need to cope with all of this. We've been trying on our own for so long and it's obviously not working. The kids should really talk to somebody. A professional." she looked over at her.

"You're right, but Mark's not used to having help dealing with this." Maureen said looking at her.

"No, I... I guess not. But even he can't do it alone." she wiped her eyes.

"He's been doing it alone all these years. First with Collins and Roger and then Angel and Mimi came in, then finally you. I... I think yours was the hardest diagnosis for him to accept." she looked over, wiping her own tears.

"I know Maureen. It was hard for me too." she looked over at her friend.

"But you took it so well." Maureen looked over at her.

"Yeah, real well." Jami snorted before getting up from the bed.

"Mark said you were strong. The strongest person he's ever met." she looked up at her.

"I knew Mark would blame Roger, and if you remember correctly, he did. He fought with him over it. But I was so scared." she looked at her.

"You... you were?" Maureen asked surprised.

"I was terrified Maureen. I... I didn't want to die. I... I didn't blame Roger, I blamed myself. For being so careless. For... for letting Roger down. The... the only thing he ever wanted from me was to stay negative and... I... I couldn't do it." she explained starting to cry again.

"Things happen Jami. You couldn't help it, just like Roger couldn't help it." she got up to comfort her.

"But he blamed himself and Mark blamed him too. The two of them were my world back then. Before anyone else knew I existed, they did. They gave me a family that accepted me for who I was and I let them down." she looked over at her.

"You could never let them down Jami, you know that." Maureen looked over at her as she hugged her.

"I... I never wanted to hurt anyone. I... I just wanted to love him. I... I wanted to be his future." she looked at her.

"Jami you are his future. You gave him 2 beautiful, amazing kids and a life than he wouldn't have had before he met you. You did everything you could do for him and he's better off for it. He's gonna die a very happy man." she told her caressing her friends back.

"And I'm gonna be a mess. That's why we need therapy Maureen. I... I don't know if I know how to live without him." she looked at her.

"I know sweetie. I... I know." she whispered, not knowing what else to say.

Downstairs, Mark is sitting in the play room building legos with his son. His body is there but his mind is elsewhere. He was thinking about Jami's suggestion. He had been dealing with HIV in his life for such a long time, he never knew another way of life. AZT and other various meds were in his daily vocabulary. He's known for most of his adult life that he was losing Roger, Collins and Jami, that much wasn't a surprise. He just never thought about seeing a professional to help him deal with it. But maybe Jami was right. Seeing someone would be a good idea. Especially for the 4 children in their lives. Micheal, Davis and James worshiped Roger and Frankie was a true daddy's girl. She had the big, bad rock star wrapped around her little 10 year old fingers. His death was certainly going to bring down their worlds. He needed to think about his children and seeing a therapist was the right thing to do for them. "Daddy, can you give me that yellow one please?" James asked shaking Mark out of his trance.

"Sure. Sure buddy." he smiled reaching over for the lego before handing it to his son. Just then, the door opened and the remaining members of his family stepped in.

"We're home." Roger called out as he stepped into the house.

"Hey, any luck finding a new Justin Brewster CD for the princess to torture us with?" Mark joked getting up from the floor before going into the living room.

"No, unfortunately." Roger smiled as Frankie went into the kitchen as the boys went up to their rooms.

"I'm sure you're heartbroken." Mark laughed looking up at him.

"Where's Jami?" he asked looking over at him, not noticing her downstairs.

"Her and Maureen are in your room. I... I said something stupid and Maureen's talking her out of killing me." he told him quietly.

"She told you guys about the therapist, huh?" he asked calmly.

"Yeah, I... I didn't know how to handle it at first, but now I'm thinking it's a good idea. I've been dealing with this for so long, I... I don't know how not to have HIV in my life and... I don't know, maybe it's about time I see someone about it." he looked up at him.

"It's a good idea Mark. At least for the kids. They didn't sign on for this, they were born into it and now it's coming to a head and they're gonna need help handling it." he looked down at him.

"Yeah, you... you better go up to Jami. I'm sure she needs you. I... I was pretty insensitive earlier." he looked up at him.

"Nah, Maureen's got her. I don't need to jump to her rescue every time she needs someone. There are plenty of capable people in this family who can help her. I... I guess with me dying, I... I should let them take over, you know? I'm not gonna be here forever to comfort her." he looked over at him.

"Roger, if you want to go to her, you should." he looked up at him.

"I don't need to. She... she needs to know that everyone in this family loves her, not just me." he looked down at him.

"How... how did shopping with the boys go?" Mark asked.

"OK. We had fun. They're gonna be the coolest dressed guys at the dance." he smiled down at him.

"Good. I'm glad you guys had a good time." he looked at him.

"Yeah, those kids are really something else. I love spending time with them." he smiled at him.

"They love spending time with you too Roger. You're their hero." he looked at his friend before they went into the kitchen with Frankie so Roger could start dinner.

"Daddy, do you have any of those pins I use to put my posters up in my room downstairs?" she asked looking through one of the magazines Roger bought her.

"Yeah, look in my desk drawer." he smiled at her.

"Thanks daddy." she smiled before going downstairs to the studio.

"You know Jami's gonna kill you for buying her more magazines, right?" Mark smirked at him.

"Eh, I'll live. She begged me for them, I couldn't very well say no." he smiled at him.

"She is such a spoiled little girl." Mark smiled at his best friend.

"Don't think I don't know about the movie posters you smuggle her." Roger smirked at him.

"Yeah, well... she... she flashes her sweet blue eyes at me and I'm a puddle at her cute little feet." he stuttered starting to laugh.

"Her having Jami's blue eyes is not boding well for us, is it?" Roger laughed.

"Guess not." Mark laughed as he helped Roger get dinner ready.


	114. Chapter 114

3 months later and Roger's health is starting to deteriorate. His PCP is getting worse and he's spending more and more time struggling to catch his breath. Jami is worried that the end is nearer then they are ready for it to be. They've been going to therapy twice a week for 2 and a half months. One visit is for the whole family and the other is just for the adults. They've been dealing with HIV for so long that they felt that another visit just for them to say things they didn't want the kids to hear would be a good idea. They learned that Frankie is afraid each time Roger goes to sleep that he won't wake up and that Jami blames herself for being HIV positive. Being in therapy seems to be helping the boys with their feelings towards losing Roger. Michael has started opening up more, which is odd for him since he seems to be his father's son. Observing, but never really getting involved. Roger's in his room, sorting through some old song books when Michael and Davis get home from their day out with their friends. "Where is everyone?" Michael asks entering the house.

"I don't know. I'm gonna go downstairs and see if anyone's in the studio." Davis looked over at his cousin as he went toward the kitchen.

"I'm gonna go upstairs and see if my parents are up there." he looked over at him as he went up the stairs. As Michael climbed the stairs, he heard coughing coming from Roger and Jami's room. He approached the door and listened quietly. When the coughing didn't stop he knocked on the door.

"Come in." Roger called out as he struggled to catch his breath.

"Uncle Roger, are you OK?" Michael asked looking over at the bed.

"Yeah man, close the door, huh?" he looked at him as Michael entered the room.

"Is everything OK?" he looked over at his uncle.

"Yeah, I'm... I'm fine." he looked up as he finally began to breathe.

"You're getting worse, aren't you?" he asked sitting lightly on the bed.

"Yeah Michael, I'm... I'm getting worse." he nodded sadly.

"I'm sorry. Is... is there anything I can do? Call Aunt Jami, my parents?" he looked over at him.

"No man, it's gonna happen whether they're here or not. But I'm not dying just yet. I still have things I have to do." he smirked over at his nephew.

"But at least they can maybe get you to the doctor or something." he looked at him.

"Michael, come here." he held his arm out as his nephew got up and walked around to where Roger was sitting. "You know, you're a man now and there are some things you need to know." he looked over at him.

"Uncle Roger, I know everything I need to know. You guys are my family and you've done everything you could to make sure I always knew that I was loved and supported." Michael looked over at him.

"No, you... you need to know these things." Roger sat up straighter looking his nephew in the eyes.

"OK." he looked at him apprehensively.

"You know that we me and your aunt have HIV, but you guys were never told how we got it." Roger started as there was a knock on the door.

"Dad, are you home?" Davis called out from the other side of the door.

"Come in son." he looked over at the door.

"Where is everyone?" he asked opening the door.

"Mom took Frankie and James over to Aunt Heathers and Aunt Maureen and Uncle Mark are out running errands. They should be home soon. Why don't you sit down? I was about to explain some things to your cousin and I think you should hear it too." he looked at him.

"Dad, everything's gonna be OK. Just like you always say." he looked at him.

"Yeah well, unfortunately they're not. I... I was about to explain to him how I got HIV." he looked at him.

"Dad, I... I know how you got it. I've... I've always known." he looked over at his father.

"How... how do you know?" he looked at him.

"I... I heard Uncle Mark and mom talking one time when I was 8. They were on the front porch talking and I was supposed to be up in my room doing my homework, but I was stuck on something and I came down to ask mom for help and they were talking about this girl named April and... I heard everything." he looked over at him.

"Who's April?" Michael asked looking at him.

"April was a girl I was into back before I met Aunt Jami. She... she saw me play at a club one night and bought me a drink. A bunch actually. We got to talking and we started dating. We... we did some crazy shit back then. I mean, she'd take me to the park in the middle of the night and we'd lay on the grass and just stare up at the stars. There weren't much, being that we were in the city and everything, but she'd put this vision in my head about all the universes out there and I... I guess I just... I needed it back then, you know? To know there was something bigger than me out there. I was the lead singer of the biggest band in the city back then and I was on top of the world. I felt like nothing could touch me and the prospect of being just a small piece of something bigger out there intrigued me. I was so stupid. I... I wasn't thinking about having you guys in my life, so I wanted more. I... I always wanted more. We... we got into shooting heroin and at first it was awesome. I mean, I... I've been on stage in the spotlight with hundreds of people staring at me and hanging on my every word, but this... this was a feeling of complete calm. No one was watching me, I felt like I was watching everything... everything was in slow motion and I loved it. Then one day everything came crashing down on me. I... woke up, hung... hung over from drinking and shooting and I... I found her lying in her own blood in the bathroom. She... she left me a note telling me that I had AIDS. I was a junkie and my girlfriend was dead and I had AIDS. It... it hit me really hard. I... I started shooting more after that. I... I couldn't get the image of my girlfriends body on the floor in her own tainted blood out of my head. So I shot as much shit into my arm that I could and I almost OD'd, but... something wouldn't let me. Your dad saved my life. The first of many times he would." he looked at the boys who were listening intently. "I... I was so stupid. I... I didn't think about my future. I... I was selfish and stupid. I... I didn't think I'd ever have a chance to meet you and your sister. I... I'm so sorry Davis." he looked at his son.

"And then you met mom and she gave you a future." Davis told him quietly.

"Not... not quite. First I met Mimi. I... I only knew her a year, but she changed my life. She was a... a junkie too, but by that time Uncle Mark and Uncle Collins had gotten me clean and I wasn't ready to join the real world yet. But she came dancing into the loft where we used to live and made it possible for me to live my life and be HIV positive at the same time. I... I was just waiting to die at that point, but she showed me that life was waiting for me, all I had to do was join the party." he looked at him.

"Did you love her?" Michael asked looking at him.

"Yes. I... I did. I loved her very much. She was an amazing person. She got me living again. She made it possible for me to meet and fall in love with your mom. For us to have you and Frankie." he smiled at him.

"So what happened in that year dad." he looked at his father.

"Nothing, everything. It was.... it was the most amazing year. Until we lost Angel on Halloween." he looked at him.

"Who's Angel?" Michael asked looking at him.

"Angel was the love of Uncle Collins life. At least for that year anyway. Him and Mimi taught us how to live in that year. When... when Angel died I ran. Ran as quickly as I could to the other side of the world. Santa Fe actually. I... I tried getting her out of my head, but I couldn't. I ran back but she was gone. She... she ran away to... to get high. To forget about all the hurt and pain. Losing Angel, losing me. It... it was all too much for her. Maureen and another friend of ours back then found her in the park, but it... it was too late. She hadn't been taking her meds and she had been getting high. She... she died shortly after we found her. On Christmas day." he looked over at him.

"Frankie's birthday." Michael whispered looking over at his uncle.

"Yeah, it was always a bad day for me, until Frankie came into my life. She... she's my gift from Mimi and your mom." he smiled at Davis.

"Dad, when mom came home and told you that she was positive, how... how did you take it? Really?" Davis asked looking at him.

"Bad. I... I wanted to run. Run as far away from her as I could. I... I figured if I ran away from her, it would... it wouldn't be true. I... I never wanted this to touch her. I... I never wanted to hurt her. She... she was the only innocent thing in my life and I... I killed her. I... I never wanted to hurt her, or you and your sister. When you two were negative, it... it was the most amazing news we could have ever gotten." he smiled at him, tears stinging his eyes.

"Mom was always brave, wasn't she?" Davis asked looking at him.

"Yeah, too... too brave for my taste. I... I wanted her to hate me. I... I hated me. She... she had every right to hate me, but she didn't. She just told me that it was just a bump in the road and we would get past it." he smiled through tear filled eyes.

"Mom could never hate you dad. You have to know that." Davis smiled at him.

"I... I know. Your Uncle Aidan wanted to kick my ass. I would have let him too. I... I wanted to let him, but your mom got between us and yelled at me to sit down while she dragged him outside to calm him down." he looked at him.

"Uncle Aidan wanted to kick your ass? Really?" he asked looking at him in disbelief.

"Yeah, I... I promised him and your other uncles that I would protect her and that I would never hurt her, but here I was... hurting her. I... I have never forgiven myself for that. Not even after all these years." he looked up at him.

"Dad, mom doesn't look very hurt to me." Davis looked over at his father with a small smile on his face.

"You... you don't remember when you were in pre school. Maybe 4, 4 and a half and I came back from tour sick." he looked down at his lap.

"What... what do you mean, sick?" Davis looked at him confused.

"I.. I came home with PCP and I... I was given anywhere from 6 months to 4 years. They... they gave me an antibiotic and it helped. A lot. My t-cell count came up and the doctor said I'd be fine. I had to take a pill every other day or so, but I'd be fine. I... I guess I was lucky that I went this long without a recurrence. Mom was a wreck the last time. I... I never wanted to do that to her again, that's why I waited so long to tell her this time. I... I was waiting to see if the meds would clear it up like last time, but it didn't. When... when you found me in the studio, I... I was scared. I... I didn't want to tell her, but I knew I had to. I... I didn't want you to feel like you had to lie to her. I... I would... would never want you to do that, even for me." he looked at his son.

"Uncle Roger, when my mom and dad heard about Aunt Jami's HIV, what... what did they say?" Michael asked looking at Roger.

"Your dad went off on me. I... I never blamed him for that. He... he was friends with Jami before we met, and I... I was supposed to protect her. I... I was responsible for taking care of her and I... I failed. I... I gave her HIV and he called me on it. Your aunt heard it and came out right away, to yell at him. I... I never understood why she yelled at him. He was the one who was there when she was diagnosed and he was the one who got her through getting used to her meds and now here he was, preparing to watch her die too, just like me and Uncle Collins. It... it was too much for him. He... he lashed out at me. He never took a shot at me, but if he had, I'd have let him. I would have let him lay me out on my ass for doing what I did to her. I fucked up." he looked at his nephew as the tears rose up in his throat.

"Uncle Roger, I've been watching you and Aunt Jami my whole life and I know you could never hurt her. Would never hurt her. You can't blame yourself. You're not responsible." Michael looked at him.

"You sound like your mom and your aunt." Roger smiled at his observant nephew.

"Yeah, I... I guess so." Michael smiled at him.

"Have... have you given any thought to where you're gonna go to college?" Roger asked trying to change the subject.

"NYU like Aunt Jami did. I... I'm gonna get into screen writing like her." he smiled at him.

"Oh yeah? Are you gonna write a screen play about your crazy family?" he asked beginning to laugh.

"Maybe. Or maybe I'll write one on my rock star aunt and uncle. Your story seems real cool." he smiled.

"I'd be honored." Roger smiled.

"The honor would be mine Uncle Roger." he looked over at his uncle smiling.


	115. Chapter 115

Later that day, Davis' cell phone rings, he looks at it and sees his mother's cell phone number. "It's mom." he looked at Roger holding the phone in his hand.

"So answer it." he laughed amused at his sons reaction.

"Right." he laughed at himself before opening his phone. "Hey mom." he smiled.

"It's not mom, it's me. Me and mom are almost home. She needs help with the bags so you and Michael come down and help. Oh and don't wake dad. He needs his rest." she ordered sitting in the back seat of the mini van.

"Why does mom need help with the bags?" he asked.

"Because we went shopping and mom went over board. As usual." she giggled as Jami looked at her daughter through the rear view mirror.

"Hey." she called out.

"I'm lying, right?" Frankie looked at her with the phone in her hand.

"Just make sure they don't wake your father up." she looked back at her.

"Yeah, yeah, I told him mom." she looked over at her mother.

"Um, Frankie, as much fun as it is listening to you and mom argue, I have to get ready to go downstairs to help her with the bags. And by the way, dad's already up. He's been up a while. See you in a bit. Bye sis." he laughed hanging up the phone.

"You're an evil big brother, you know that?" Roger laughed getting out of bed.

"Yeah well, the two of them are driving me crazy. You can't leave me with them. Please." he looked over at him.

"Sorry man. You know if I could I'd stay here forever with you, your sister and your mom, I would. But I can't." he looked at his son regretfully.

"I know dad. Come on Mike. We gotta help my mom with her payload." he looked at his cousin before leaving the room.

"Sorry Uncle Roger." he looked at Roger.

"Yeah, it was nice while it lasted, huh?" he looked at his nephew as he got up and started down the stairs.

"We should go down and see what crazy Aunt Jami's up to." he smiled at him.

"Yeah, I'm kind of scared." Roger smiled at him.

"I have a feeling you should be." Michael laughed. As they reached the bottom of the stairs, Jami was walking in the door, weighed down with bags.

"Whatcha got there Baby?" he asked as she walked towards the kitchen.

"Never mind. Don't you have dinner to start or something?" she said going down to the basement, following her children.

"James, what's going on?" he asked following her.

"Nothing you need to worry about right now. Can't a girl have a couple of secrets?" she asked as he followed her down the stairs.

"Dad, you shouldn't be down here." Frankie squealed as he reached the bottom of the basement steps.

"Silly me. I thought this was my studio." he chuckled looking over at her.

"OK kids. Go upstairs. I need to talk to your father a minute." Jami told her children as she stood with her hands on her hips.

"Sure mom. Come on Davis." Frankie smiled at her father before passing him on the stairs followed by her brother and her younger cousin.

"What's going on James?" he asked looking over at her.

"I... I was shopping today at the mall and I ran into Seth. Did you know he got married? His wife is very pretty. I was thinking we could have them over or something..." she started when he interrupted her.

"You're point Baby." he laughed at her as she rambled on.

"Right, my point. Well anyway, we got to talking and he... he wants us to go on tour again. Starting with a show at Meadowlands Arena. It's... it's a benefit. AIDS." she looked up at him.

"James, I... I don't understand." he looked down at her.

"Roger, I got to thinking that you... you loved touring and I loved touring with you. We can bring the kids and Mark and Maureen and we can have one last hurrah before it's too late. I... I don't want it to be too late before we realize that we needed this." she rambled fighting tears.

"James, I don't need to be up there. I need to be with you and our kids. I... I'm content with my life. I've been up there and now I want to be here with you." he lifted his hands, to hold on to her shoulders.

"But you belong up there Roger. You always have. You're so talented and I want to be up there with you before you get too sick to be up there singing with me." she looked up into his green eyes, as tears fell from her blue ones.

"Baby, my life is everything I ever wanted it to be. Nothing is lacking in my life. You, our kids and our friends are all I ever needed to feel complete. I am complete. You don't need to do this for me." he reached up to caress her tears from her soft face.

"I... I bought all of us new outfits. The kids and everything. I... I want to do this. At least the Meadowlands show. I want to do the benefit. I... I need to do the benefit." she looked up at him.

"OK Baby. We'll do the Meadowlands show, but I don't think a tour is such a good idea." he looked down at her.

"Yeah, maybe... maybe I was a little impulsive in wanting to go on tour. I just... I miss being up there singing with my husband and knowing that we were invincible up there." she looked up at him.

"We're invincible right here James." he whispered, placing his hand on her heart.

"Our love is the only thing that can never die Roger. I... I know that. I just... I want... I want to be something other than the HIV positive widow of rock god Roger Davis." she looked up at him.

"I wouldn't say rock god..." Roger started, mildly amused.

"Roger, you're not listening to me." she called out walking away from him.

"I am James, I am. I'm just trying to lighten the mood a little bit. I hear what you're saying." he looked over at her.

"Do you?" she asked looking over at him.

"You're saying that after all of this is said and done, you want to do something meaningful. Make this meaningful. You want to work with AIDS charities." he looked over at him.

"Yes, I do. I don't want this to be in vein. Your death, my diagnosis. I want it to mean something." she looked up at him.

"I think that's a great idea James. That would be the perfect thing for you to do." he walked over to her.

"So we can do the Meadowlands show?" she asked.

"Yeah James. I said it would be a great idea. We can all get dressed up and be rock stars one last time. Having the kids perform with us will be fun." he smiled at her.

"And Maureen can sing with us too and Mark can film it all. It'll be great for the kids to have. All of us together." she smiled up at him, as tears stung her eyes.

"I think it'll be great James." he wrapped his arms around her holding her close to him.

"What are they doing down there?" Maureen asked sitting at the kitchen table.

"I don't know. Ever since dad soundproofed it down there, we can't hear anything." Frankie said sitting on the floor by the door.

"Damn, I knew that was gonna bite us in the ass one day." Maureen complained.

"You're the one who was bitching about Roger's constant guitar playing." Mark laughed.

"Oh shut up." she looked up at him as she tapped her finger nails on the kitchen table.

"We should get upstairs." Roger looked down at her.

"Yeah, the kids are probably straining to hear what we're saying." she sniffled, wiping he wet face with her hand.

"They can't hear anything. Remember, Maureen made me soundproof down here years ago." he smiled down at her.

"Oh right. Oh man, she's gotta be freaking out up there." Jami laughed looking up at him.

"Yeah, I think that's a safe bet." he laughed leaning down to kiss her head.

They kissed tenderly for what seemed like forever, before holding each other tight. "I love you Roger." Jami smiled up at him.

"And I love you Mrs. Davis." he smiled looking down into her blue eyes.

They went up the stairs to rejoin the rest of their family. At dinner, Jami revealed her plan to the rest of the family. The kids were excited to be going on stage with Roger and Jami at the Meadowlands Arena. After dinner, Roger, Maureen and the kids went into the living room to play a video game and Mark and Jami stayed behind to clear off the table. "Are you guys really doing this? I mean, do you think it's such a good idea?" Mark asked looking over at her.

"It's a perfect idea Mark. Me and Roger get to perform together again, the kids get to have a once in a lifetime experience and it benefits AIDS. What's not a good idea?" she asked looking over at him.

"Roger's been out of breath more and more lately. How do you expect him to run around the stage singing like he used to?" he asked looking over at her.

"Mark, I can't let the last time I was on stage with him be the last time. We took it for granted and I... I swore I would never take my time with him for granted, but I did. I want to sing with him one last time. With the kids up there with us and you filming it." she looked over at him.

"I understand James. I really do. I just... I don't know. I worry about him." he looked at her.

"I worry about him too, it's just... I... I don't want him to have any regrets. I... I want him to die knowing that he did everything possible. Sharing the stage with his kids is something that all of them will cherish for the rest of their lives. And with you catching it on film, it'll give the kids something of him they can hold on to." she looked at him with tears in her eyes.

"I said I understand Jami. Don't... don't cry. I don't want him coming in here thinking I made you cry. He can still kick my ass, sick or not." he joked taking Jami into his arms.

"He would never do that Mark. You're the best friend he could ever have. You're more than a brother to him." she looked up at him.

"Sure I am. I gave him you." he smiled kissing his best friend on the head.


	116. Chapter 116

Jami, came home from the store and looked around the house. Roger is upstairs sleeping and Frankie and James are with Mrs. Davis because Mark and Maureen took Michael to go look at colleges so it was just her, Roger and Davis for the weekend. Davis wasn't planning on going anywhere because he was supposed to be there in case his father needed him while Jami was out. When she didn't see him, she put the shopping bags on counter in the kitchen and opened the basement door. He had been spending a lot more time down there trying to learn some of Roger and Jami's songs before the concert. As she walked down the stairs, she heard hers and Roger's music playing in the background and smelled smoke coming from the studio. She rushed into the control room to turn the music off before catching a glimpse of her son, smoking a cigarette. She turned the music off before shouting "Roger Michael Davis you put that damn thing out right now."

"Mom, what... what are you doing home so soon?" he asked panicked.

"I'll be asking the questions around here. What the hell are you doing smoking?" she asked angry with him.

"Mom, I... um... dad..." he stuttered looking over at her, stabbing the cigarette out in the ash tray.

"Yeah, your father quit a long time ago. He was smart. Where the hell did you get those things? You're not old enough to buy them." she asked with her hands on her hips.

"If dad quit a long time ago, how come they were down here?" he asked defensively looking over at his mother.

"They... you got them here?" she asked looking at him.

"They were in dad's desk drawer in the control room. I was looking for a pen and I found them. I felt like trying it." he looked at her.

"Give me them. Now Davis." she yelled holding her hand out to take the pack of cigarettes from him.

"What are you gonna do mom?" he asked handing over the cigarettes.

"Don't worry. Give me your phone, you're grounded. Now go to your room." she snapped at him before taking his phone and rushing up the stairs to the main floor before climbing up the stairs to hers and Roger's bedroom. She pushed open the door before rushing over to her bed, where her husband slept. He must have heard the door open because he was jarred out of his sleep.

"Hey Baby, did you come to lay down with me?" he smiled up at her.

"No, I didn't come to lay down with you. What the hell are these Roger?" she held up the pack of cigarettes where he could see them.

"Baby, I'm... I'm sorry. I..." he started when she began yelling at him.

"What Roger? This damn disease wasn't killing you fast enough for your taste, you felt you needed to help it out a bit? What the hell would make you start smoking again?" she yelled throwing the cigarette pack at him.

"I'm... I'm sorry James. I... I never meant for you to find out. I've just been under a lot of stress lately and..." he told her as she interrupted him again.

"Your son found them and was experimenting with them. Are you happy Roger? The son who worships you was following in your footsteps. Smoking your cigarettes." she yelled as tears fell from her eyes.

"Davis was smoking?" he asked looking up at her.

"Yes Roger, what did you expect? He's almost 17 years old and he found a pack of cigarettes in his father's desk drawer and decided to see what made his father so cool. I can't believe you're smoking again Roger. Is the fact that you have PCP lost on you or something? It's killing you Roger and you're helping it." she cried at him.

"I never meant to start up again. I just... I've been under a lot of stress between the PCP and trying to sing and the stress about being on stage again. I... I don't know why I picked it up again. I'm so sorry James." he got up from the bed to comfort his wife.

"If you were having such a hard time singing, you should have said something. I would have never made you do something you couldn't do. All you had to do was talk to me. You didn't have to start smoking again." she cried into his chest.

"I didn't want to disappoint you and the kids James. I want to do it. I'm trying to give you what you deserve." he whispered kissing her head.

"You don't have to always sacrifice for me Roger. I'm capable of accepting the word no." she looked up at him.

"I don't want to tell you no James. I never wanted you to have to hear the word no. Ever." he looked down at her.

"Roger, I'm grown woman. I am capable of being turned down without throwing a temper tantrum, you know? You don't always have to give me my way." she smirked at him despite her tears.

"James, I always wanted to give you the world. That was something I swore I would do for you a long time ago. It was the least I could do considering what you have to go through to be with me." he lifted his hand to caress her face.

"You have given me everything a woman could ever want. With or without everything I have to go through to be with you, you've given me the best life any woman could ask for." she leaned up to kiss him tenderly.

"I'm sorry about the smoking. Do... do you want me to talk to Davis?" he asked looking down at her.

"I don't think you lecturing him on the dangers of smoking is such a good idea. It would make you look like a hypocrite and I'm sure you don't want your son to see you that way." she looked up at him.

"Maybe you're right. I don't think anything I could say to him would hold much water considering where he got them from."

"Roger, promise me you're not gonna smoke anymore. Please." she pleaded looking into her husbands green eyes.

"I swear James. No more smoking." he raised his right hand to swear to her.

"I love you too much to lose you this soon." she looked up at him.

"I know James, I... I was stupid. Really stupid to start smoking again." he looked down into her blue eyes.

"Yes you were." she looked up at him before taking a deep breath. "I need to go deal with your son. I told him he was grounded and sent him to his room."

"Just don't be too hard on him James, OK? He's a Davis and we tend to be a little reckless." he played with her hair.

"I don't want him smoking Roger. He's only 17." she looked up at him.

"I know, just don't lay into him too much. Please." he pleaded looking down at her.

"Fine Roger. I won't hurt him too badly. But he's losing his computer and his tv. Possibly his cell too." she looked at him.

"I think he learned his lesson James, but whatever you decide, I'm behind you." he smiled at her.

"I will not tolerate my son smoking. Not when PCP is taking my husbands life." she turned her back on him and went towards her sons room. She knocked on the door and slowly turned the knob. Davis was sitting on his bed reading a music magazine.

"Mom, I'm really..." he started directing his attention to his mother.

"Don't Davis. I didn't come here to listen to any excuses. Just hear me out, OK?" he nodded closing his magazine and sitting up to pay attention to his mother. "Your father smoked a long time ago. He... he quit shortly before we met. Uncle Mark told me about when dad was smoking. He said it was gross. I never liked the smell of it myself, so I was glad that he quit before we got together." she looked over at him.

"Mom, I know it's disgusting and not healthy for me. I don't know why I tried it, but I'm never gonna do it again. I swear." he looked over at her.

"How long have you been smoking Davis?" she asked looking at her son.

"Almost a month." he confessed looking over at her.

"OK, I'm gonna take the card out of your tv and the plug for your stereo as punishment, and I'm only leaving your computer in here because I want you to do a health report on smoking. It can't be less then 1000 words and I want it in your own words. Don't cut and paste shit you found online." she looked at him.

"OK mom. I'm really sorry for smoking. I know it's not easy with dad sick and I guess I wanted to see what it was like." he looked over at her.

"I... I understand sweetie, but smoking is stupid and you're too smart for that." she looked at him.

"Are you saying that dad's stupid?" he asked smirking over at her.

"He used to be, but he redeemed himself when he fell for me." she laughed looking at her son.

"I really am sorry mom." he looked at her.

"I know sweetie." she leaned over to hug her son.

"I heard you yell at dad. He's not trying to kill himself." he looked at her.

"You weren't meant to hear that Davis. That's between me and your father." she looked at him.

"I know mom, but I know dad and I know he would never try to kill himself. He doesn't ever want to leave you." he looked at her, trying to reassure her.

"But we both know that he will and with him smoking again, he's expediting it." she looked up at him fighting tears.

"I have a feeling dad's not gonna be smoking anymore either. You have a tendency to be very scary to us Davis men." he teased her.

"I just love you so much Davis. I forget that you're becoming a man and I don't like it. I want you to stay my little boy forever, you know?" she smiled through her tears.

"Mom, you and dad taught me how to be a man. I think I'm pretty well equipped to be on my own now." he smiled at her.

"I know Davis. I'm very proud of you. Our latest incident not withstanding." she looked at him.

"I'm not proud of that either mom. I... I regret it." he looked over at her.

"I know honey. I know." she smiled at him holding him in her arms.


	117. Chapter 117

It's the afternoon before the big concert and Jami is a mess. She is barking out orders making sure everything is perfect. Mark is setting up his camera as she abuses the lighting staff. Roger is doing sound check with the kids. "Mark, can you get anymore of an obstructed view? God, I thought you were a camera man." she snapped as she paraded across the stage.

"James, it's right in front of the stage. I couldn't get a better angle, unless I had a crane or something." he looked up at her.

"That wouldn't be a bad idea. Why didn't we do that?" she asked with her hands on her hips.

"Because Mark's afraid of heights. James, would you stop abusing everyone. Everything's gonna be fine." Roger came up behind her, putting his arms around her shoulders.

"I just want everything to be perfect Roger. The kids and I are gonna be watching this for many years to come. I don't want to get frustrated because the angle isn't right and it's choppy." she turned around to look at him.

"It's not gonna be choppy Baby. Mark's a professional. In case you forgot, he filmed 2 of your screen plays." he smiled at her.

"I'm... I'm sorry, you're right. I... I shouldn't be going crazy. I'm just... I want everything to be perfect. This is very important to us. It's all we're gonna have left when you're gone." she gripped the front of his shirt.

"Well if this is all you're gonna have left of me, I was a shitty husband and father James." he smirked at her.

"You know what I mean Roger. I just... it's very important to me and the kids. To have all of us up here together on film." she looked up at him.

"James, everything is gonna be fine. You'll see." he smiled leaning down to kiss her.

"I know. I'm sorry Roger. Sorry Mark. I'm just... crazy today." she looked over at him wrapping her arms around Rogers waist.

"It's OK James. I've lived with you so long I don't even notice anymore." Mark smiled at her.

"Ha ha. Glad to see the comedy club is still open for business." she smiled up at Roger.

"After all the years you girls had fun at our expense, it's our turn to reign supreme." he laughed looking down at her.

"Yeah, I was afraid of that." she smiled up at him.

"Dad, we gotta get this sound check done. The sound guys are getting impatient." Davis called over from his spot on the stage.

"Coming son." he called back before looking down at Jami. "It's gonna be fine Baby. Trust me. We're gonna rock the house down. Just like the old days." he smiled at her.

"We better, this is our swan song." she looked up at him.

"James." he looked down at her.

"I'm fine Roger. I love you." she smiled kissing him again before watching her husband go back over to their kids where they continued sound check.

"Come on guys, are we on vacation?" Roger asked looking over to the kids.

"Dad, is mom OK?" Davis asked quietly standing next to Roger.

"Yeah, she's... she's fine. This is just really hard on her, that's all. Give her a break." he looked over at him as Jami walked backstage. "Gimme a minute man. Keep practicing that song. You're doing great." he smiled following Jami. "James." he called out as she rushed towards the back door of the arena. She didn't turn around when he called out for her. "James, wait up." he picked up his pace, trying to keep up with her.

When they got outside, Jami was leaning against the wall. Her head was in her hands and she was crying. "This... this was a mistake. A... a huge mistake. I... I can't do this Roger. I'm... I'm not strong enough." she cried sliding down the wall.

"This is not a mistake. This is the best idea you've ever come up with. I get to perform with my wife and my kids one last time." he knelt down next to her, wrapping his arm around her shoulders.

"I'm losing you Roger. You're... you're closer to leaving me and I... I don't know what to do. I... I don't know how I'm gonna do this. The house... the... the kids. Everything. I... I don't know how to do anything without you." she cried leaning in to him.

"Baby, you can do anything. You're the strongest woman I know." he whispered holding her head to his chest.

"Yeah, that's... that's why I've been breaking down since I found out about your PCP." she cried into his chest.

"I've been crying too Baby. I... I don't want to leave you. I... I don't want to be without you. Ever." he held her as tears fell from his own eyes.

"Ugh, this sucks." she yelled pulling away from him to get up and walk around the back of the arena.

"It only sucks if we don't treasure every moment. I thought you knew that." he got up going after her.

"No, it sucks because I love you more than I ever imagined loving anyone in my life and I have to prepare for my life with you to be over and I'm not ready to do that yet. I don't think I ever will be." she yelled in his face.

"Well you have to James. Those kids need you. You can't bail on them." he reached down for her hand.

"But you're bailing on me." she yelled at him, snatching her arm away and walking away from him.

"That's not fair Jami."

"Yet it's happening. Whether we want it to or not." she yelled turning to look at him.

"You know what James? You can stand out here and feel sorry for yourself, but I'm gonna go inside and finish sound check with my kids. We have a concert to get ready for." he yelled at her reaching out for the door knob and yanking it open. As he went inside the door slammed behind him. Jami went to her mini van and sat in the drivers seat. She leaned over the steering wheel and cried. She sat up and screamed, punching the steering wheel over and over again.

"Jami, open the door." Mrs. Davis called out, knocking on the window.

"Mom, I... I can't do this. I... I can't prepare to lost him. Not... not so soon." she cried as she opened the door.

"What are you talking about sweetie? He's not dying yet." she asked wrapping her arms around her.

"Once this show is done, there's nothing stopping him from giving up." she cried into her mother in laws arms.

"Oh honey, he's not going anywhere. He doesn't want to leave you and the kids." she told her, trying to soothe her.

"But he's going to. I know he is. He's only holding on to do this show and then that's it. I... I can't lose him mom. I... I can't." she cried harder clutching her mother in law.

"It's gonna be OK sweetheart. He's not going anywhere. You're not gonna lose him. Not... not yet." she whispered soothing her daughter in laws hair.

"Mom, can... can I talk to my wife a minute please?" Roger asked standing behind his mother.

"Sure. Sure Roger. I'll be inside with the kids." she turned to her son.

"Thanks mom." he looked over at her as he stepped in closer to his wife.

"Don't think you're gonna swoop in to make me think everything is gonna be OK, because it's not. There is nothing OK about you dying." she cried wiping her wet face.

"I'm not dying James. Not... not yet." he looked down at her.

"After this show, there's nothing stopping you from giving up." she looked up at him.

"There's you. James, before I met you I was scared to death of hurting you. I had lost a lot by that time and I... I wasn't willing to risk losing anymore. But then I met you and I... I let myself take a risk. I've been running away from this moment all these years. I'm not willing to leave you. Not yet. You're not getting rid of me yet." he wrapped his arms around her, holding her close to him.

"But Roger, this last performance, it's... it's your last one. The kids are gonna be with us and then that's it. There's nothing more you need to do. You would have accomplished everything." she looked up at him.

"I still need to love you and raise my kids with you. I'm not bailing on you James." he whispered looking down at her.

"I hope not because I love you so much Roger. I don't want to live without you. I don't know if I know how." she looked up at him.

"I'm not leaving you yet James. I promise." he told her holding her close to him as she sat in the mini van.


	118. Chapter 118

It's 2 months later and Roger's health has gotten worse. He's been spending more and more time in his and Jami's bedroom on oxygen to assist in his breathing. Jami has been Roger's sole care giver because they only want to be with each other. They try not to neglect everyone else in the family. Their time together is spent ignoring the inevitable. They talk and laugh about when they first got together and make plans for romantic dinners that they know will never happen. She's torn between spending time with her kids and watching her husband die. With Roger too ill to cook for the family, Jami has taken over. She stands in the kitchen making beef stew, reading from Roger recipe, when Davis walks into the house wearing Roger's jacket. "Hey ma. Whatcha cookin?" he asked dropping his back pack on the floor by the kitchen table.

"Beef stew. Um... what are you wearing?" she asked turning around to look at her son.

"Dad's jacket. He gave it to me yesterday. How does it look?" he asked turning around to show her the back.

"Take it off." she blurted out walking towards her son.

"But ma, dad gave it to me..." he insisted looking down at her.

"I don't care. Take the damn jacket off. Now." she yelled losing control.

"OK, OK. Mom, why are you freaking out? Dad gave it to me. He said that he wanted me to have it since it fits me and everything." he looked down at her. "What are you gonna do?"

"I'm sick of my husband giving away his things like he's dying." she yelled grabbing the jacket and rushed up the stairs, tears streaming down her face. Roger was standing at the window looking out at the snow as it melted on their lawn. "Why was my son wearing my husband's favorite leather jacket?" she asked holding the jacket in her arms, tears streaming down her face.

"He should have it James. It's his." he told her, still looking out the window.

"No it's not. It's yours. I wish you would stop giving him your stuff. You're not dying." she cried throwing the jacket on the bed.

"I am James. I'm dying and he needs to know that those things are meant for him. I've... I've given Frankie some stuff too." he turned looking over at her. His voice was calm and somber.

"Roger stop talking like that. You've still got time. I'm not gonna let you give up. Not yet. Not until we've done everything we can do." she walked over to him.

"We have done everything we could James. It's not working. Not anymore. I'm running out of time." he looked down at her.

"Don't say that. Please." she pleaded, looking into his green eyes. Eyes that had clearly lost their spark.

"I'm sorry Baby. There's nothing I can do anymore. Nothing any of us can do. I think we should think about me going into the hospital." he looked down at her.

"No, that is not an option. I'm not gonna have you die the way Angel did. Stuck in some hospital bed with nurses telling us when we can see you. I'm not gonna let that happen." she looked up at him.

"I think it would be for the best. It's not right for the kids to see me like this all the time and it's only gonna get worse. I don't want them to see me like that." he looked down at her.

"No, I'm not gonna let you go to the hospital Roger. I'm your wife and I'm gonna take care of you. For better or worse, richer or poorer, in sickness and in health. I'm not gonna drop you off at the hospital and let them take care of you. Nurses and doctors who don't know you or love you the way we do. I'm not having it, so don't ask me to." she wept, walking away from him.

"It's for the best James. I don't want you to have to keep waiting on me hand and foot. I'm getting weaker and I don't want you and the kids to see me like this." he insisted, turning towards her.

"So what? You just expect me to drop you off at the hospital and cut our losses. Like you went on a trip one day and never came home? Is that what you expect?" she asked sitting on the bed crying.

"No James, not like that, but they can give me stuff to make it easier and I won't be in the house sucking the life out of everything we ever had here." he walked over to her.

"Don't expect me to sit around and see you connected to all these machines lying helplessly in a hospital bed while you wither away to nothing. I won't do it Roger. Don't ask me to do that." she cried into her hands.

"I just don't want you to have to keep taking care of me Baby. That's all I'm saying." he told her, sitting next to her on the bed, wrapping his arms around her.

"I can't lose you like you lost Angel, watching you lying in a hospital bed, connected to tubes and wires. I won't Roger. Please, please don't make me. I... I need you in our home. In our bed. In our life." she placed both hands on his face before looking down nestling her head into his chest. His once strong chest was now losing it's muscle, it's strength that she once felt solace in.

"Baby, I don't want to traumatize you or the kids anymore then I already have." he looked over at her.

"You would traumatize them if us more if you went into the hospital. Don't you get it? We're your family. You belong here with us. We love you Roger. Please, don't leave me yet." she pleaded with him.

"I'm trying James. I really am." he leaned down to kiss her head.

"Just stop giving away your things. Please."

"I want them to have them Jami." he looked down at her.

"I know you gave Davis your Fender last month and your rings last week. But I... I guess seeing him wearing your jacket was the last straw. I... I lost it. That jacket was always yours." she looked up at him.

"He's my son. Can you think of anyone better to give my jacket to?" he asked her.

"Not yet. I'm... I'm not ready to see him or anyone else wearing it. It would be like seeing him wearing your purple shirt. I love that shirt. It's your shirt. That jacket is you Roger. It's your trademark. It was what you were wearing the first time I noticed you in the store all those years ago." she looked up at him.

"Fine James. Just stop taking things away from him, OK?"

"OK Roger. You... you win." she leaned more into him, holding him close to her. Savoring the feel of his arms around her.

Down in the studio, Davis and Mark are talking. Davis is very upset that his mother confiscated his father's favorite jacket from him. "Why does mom have to always freak out about stuff? Dad gave me that jacket. It's mine. He said so himself. But she took it away from me as soon as she saw me in it." he argued looking over at his uncle.

"Davis, you have to understand. All of this is really hard on your mother. She's having a rough time. She's losing her husband and to see him giving away all of his prized possessions, is making his death too real now." he told him, trying to calm his nephew.

"Doesn't mom think this is hard on us too? I mean, my dad's dying and all he wants is for me to have some things that are important to him and she's freaking out every time she sees us with anything of his." he yelled at him.

"Listen to me son, your mom is gonna get better. But right now she's having a really rough time of it. You just gotta cut her some slack."

"She's losing it Uncle Mark and I don't know how to help her. No one does. Only dad can help her and he's not gonna be here soon. Then what? She's gonna be a mess without him. He's the only one who can help her." he looked at his uncle, fighting tears.

"I don't know Davis. I just don't know. We all just have to try to help her as best we can. That's all we can do." he looked at him.

"I don't know how that's gonna work. She won't talk to anyone but dad anymore. I'm afraid I'm gonna lose my mom and my dad at the same time." he cried sitting at his mother's desk leaning over the papers, staring at the picture of Roger and Jami from when they first got together. They looked so happy and in love. He longed for those carefree days again. But now his life was plagued with sadness and death. He took a deep breath as his uncle reached over to comfort him as best he could, knowing he would fall short.


	119. Chapter 119

The following week, Jami is in the studio, looking through the photo album she started when she and Roger went on tour. Roger was teaching a 4 and a half year old how to play guitar while Jami snapped pictures. Roger was smiling at his son, who looked intently at the guitar. Trying to make his father proud. Too bad he was too young to realize that his father would always be proud of him no matter what he did. Jami swipes tears from her cheek as she stares at the pictures. As she flips through the pages, there's a faint knock on the door. "Jami, are you OK?" Mark asked from the doorway.

"Um... yeah. I'm... I'm fine. I just... he's close. I know he is. I just like looking at these pictures, you know? He was strong and healthy and... that's the way I always see him. The way I'll always see him." she explained as tears rolled down her face.

"I know and I know you don't want to hear this, but you've had some great years with him and you gave him everything he deserved. You need to take comfort in that. At least for now." he looked over at her.

"How am I gonna take comfort in that? My husband is gonna be gone soon and there's nothing I can do about it. There's nothing I can do about my kids losing their father and me losing the only man I ever loved." she yelled getting up from her chair. The photo album fell to the floor.

"I... I know Jami. I'm... I'm so sorry." he got up to go to her. He wrapped his arms around his distraught friend and held her close to him.

"I don't want your pity Mark, I want my husband to live longer." she cried into his shoulder.

"Me too Jami. Me too." he whispered crying with her. As they cried together Maureen knocked at the door.

"Um... guys. Roger... Roger's looking for you." she looked over at them. Her eyes were red and puffy.

"Is... is he OK?" Jami asked wiping her face.

"I... I don't know Jami. He... he just asked for you guys. The... the kids are in with him now." she looked at her.

"Thank you." Jami bolted from the Mark's grasp and rushed up the stairs.

"It's time, isn't it?" Mark asked going over to Maureen.

"Yeah, I... I think it is." she cried looking over at him. "You... you should go. We... we have plenty of time for this after... just go. He needs you." she told him, attempting to regain her composure.

"Are you coming?" he asked looking over at her.

"In... in a bit. I... I just need to get myself together first." she nodded looking down at the floor.

"OK." he whispered, kissing her head before going up the stairs.

"It's almost time." Doug looked over at Mark as he passed through the living room.

"Yeah Dougie, I... I know." he whispered looking over at Roger's family. His mother was being comforted by his older brother Chris and Heather was in Noah's arms. Doug sat alone.

"Just let him know it's OK. We're... we're gonna take care of them for him. He... he needs to hear that." Mrs. Davis cried looking up at him.

"I will. I promise." he continued his journey up the stairs.

When he arrived upstairs, Jami was lying in bed next to her husband, holding him in her arms. He was wheezing and shivering. Jami was crying into his thinning hair. "It's OK Baby, you... you can go now. I'm not mad. I... I love you more than you can ever imagine." she cried holding him tight.

"Roger, it's OK. We'll take care of everything. You... you did enough. We can handle it now." Mark confirmed entering the room more.

"Mark... I... I'm sorry... I... I never... never meant... to... to do this to her. I... tried, but... but I... I... fell in love... with her. I... I couldn't... help it." he looked up Mark, gasping for breath.

"I'm glad you fell for her Roger. You're the best thing that's ever happened to her and her to you. It's been an honor and a privilege to see you two together." Mark choked back, sitting on the foot of the bed.

"I... I need you... to... to take... care of... my... my family. You're... the... only one... I... I trust." he gasped looking over at him.

"You don't even need to ask Roger. I'd... I'd never let anything happen to them." he looked over patting Roger's calf.

"I... I love you Roger. I love you so much." Jami cried looking down at him.

"I... I love... love you so... so much James. You're... you're gonna... be... O... K." he looked up at her.

"I'll... I'll be fine. I won't be alone. I.. I promise." she cried.

"I... I know James. You're my love. You're... you're everything." he sighed letting out his last breath.

"No. Roger. Roger." she cried shaking him.

"He's gone James. I'm... I'm so sorry." Mark cried looking over at Roger.

"I... I can't believe he's really gone." she cried into Roger's hair.

"I'll give you a few minutes. I have to go tell the kids and everybody then call the funeral home." he looked over at her. When she didn't respond, he got up and watched her cry over her husband's dead body. He left the room, going down the hall into Davis' room where all the kids were sitting.

"Is my dad..." Frankie asked looking up at her uncle, tears flooding her face.

"I'm... I'm so sorry kids. He's..." he started, allowing the sentence to fall.

"Where's... where's mom?" Davis asked getting up from his bed.

"She's still in with him. She... she needed time alone with him." he looked down at them.

"I want my mom." Frankie bolted up from the bed, rushing past her uncle. When she opened the door of her parents bedroom, she noticed that her father was still lying in his bed and her mother was nowhere to be found. "Mom, where are you?" she called out going into her parents bathroom. That room was also empty. "Where's my mom?" she yelled starting to cry more.

"Come here sweetie. She probably needed time alone. She'll be back soon." Maureen cried grabbing her niece.

"You don't understand Aunt Maureen. Mom can't live without dad. Mom's gotta be lost now. She doesn't know what to do. She... she needs us. Someone has to find her." she cried looking over at her.

"Mark, can... can you find her please?" Maureen cried looking over at her husband.

"Sure." he whispered leaving the house to go out looking for Jami.

He walked around the block towards Mrs. Davis' house. The house was dark, as Mrs. Davis was at their house along with the rest of the Davis family. He went around to the back of the house and he found her. She was sitting on the back porch crying into her hands. Mark stepped on a dried leaf, startling her. "I forgot my key. I... I can't get in." she cried looking over at him.

"I know honey. You left in quite a hurry. Why are you here?" he asked sitting next to her.

"I wanted to go to Roger's room. Where... where he... he proposed to me." she cried leaning into his shoulder.

"Do you remember my reaction when you told me that you guys were getting married?" he asked wrapping his arm around her.

"You were an ass." she looked up at him.

"I was afraid of this day. Right here, right now. This is what I was afraid of. You watching him die like this." he whispered leaning in to kiss her head.

"It didn't exist back then. I... I pretended that his HIV and his impending death didn't exist. He just wanted to live his life and I just wanted to give that to him." she confessed.

"I know Jami. I didn't want to this about it either. He... he was my best friend." he cried as they wrapped their arms around each other.

"What am I gonna do now Mark? He's... he's gone and I don't know how to live without him." she cried harder.

"The kids need you to Jami. You have to do it for them." he looked over at her, calming himself down.

"How... how are they?" she asked, tears still streaming down her face.

"They're worried about their mother." he looked over at her.

"I... I need to go to them." she pulled away from him, wiping her face with her hands.

"Frankie needs you. She's asking for her mother." he told her.

"I... I have to go. We... we need to make the arrangements." she told him getting up from the porch step.

"OK James." he looked over at her.

"Mark, can... can you not... not call me that? Please? He... he was the only who made me feel comfortable being called that and I... I just don't feel comfortable hearing it from anyone else." she looked over at him.

"Sorry Jami, I... I understand." he got up to go back home with her.


	120. Chapter 120

3 days later, a funeral was held. Roger Michael Davis was buried in the same graveyard as his father in New Jersey. The church was packed with people we both loved and admired him. Fans, friends and his family. His wife and children sat in the front row remembering the life he led and the love he gave.

A month later, things have begun to go back to normal. Jami mourned her husband in the only fashion she knew how. She pushed on. She threw herself into her house and her children. Davis hasn't worn his father's jacket, afraid that it would hurt his mother to see him in it. "Frankie, can you hand me a lemon from the fridge please?" Jami asked standing over the stove.

"Sure mom. What are you making?" she asked looking over at her.

"One of your father's recipes. It's Mexican. I just wanted to try something different." she smiled at her taking the lemon from her.

"That sounds really cool mom. I'm sure it's gonna be really good. I can't wait to try it." she looked at her before leaving the kitchen.

"I'm trying. I'm really trying." she whispered looking down at the recipe thinking about Roger.

"How's mom?" Davis asked sitting in the living room.

"She's cooking one of dad's old recipes." she smiled at him.

"So she's OK?" he asked.

"I didn't say that. She hasn't slept since daddy died, all she does is cook his recipes and wear his shirts. I don't think that's OK Davis." she snapped looking over at her older brother.

"I'm... I'm sorry kiddo. But at least she's not lying in bed all the time crying. She's just trying to do what dad wants her to do. Take care of us and herself. I know Aunt Maureen is making sure she takes her meds and at least she's eating and trying to stay healthy. That's all we can expect from her right now. She'll be OK in time. Just be patient, OK?" he asked hugging his sister.

"I know, I just wish mom was mom again. She doesn't do anything or say anything, she just cooks and does laundry and cleans all the time. I woke up the other night and she was in my room going through my dresser. When I asked her what she was doing, she said that I'm outgrowing everything and we had to go shopping, but she needed to clear some space first for my new clothes. It was 3 in the morning Davis." she looked at him worried.

"I know, I found her down in the studio last night going over all of dad's old song books. She said that she had been meaning to file the songs in the cabinet, but didn't have a chance. When I told Uncle Mark he said that she was just trying to cope and to just let her be for now. He said that the idea of her sleeping in their bed is probably too scary for her now. She needs to tire herself out. There's nothing we can do Frankie. She's dealing with losing dad the only way she knows how." he looked at her.

"I'm just worried about her Davis. I mean, not sleeping isn't good. She needs to take care of herself or she's gonna make herself sick." she looked up at her brother.

"I know Frankie. I know." he agreed as Jami listened from the doorway.

"Hey Jami, is everything OK?" Mark asked coming up from the studio.

"Um... yeah, I'm just... I'm making one of Roger's recipes." she told him rushing over to the stove to stir the meat.

"That sounds cool. How are you feeling today?" he asked looking over at his friend, who was wearing one of her husbands baseball shirts from when he coached Davis' baseball team. It had the number one on it and the name Davis on the back and Coach Roger on the front.

"I'm OK, but I'm... I'm not sleeping very well. Actually I'm not sleeping at all. Mark, the... the kids are worried. I... I hate worrying them." she looked over at him.

"Jami, it's only natural. You'll sleep, you're just grieving for your husband right now." he looked over at her.

"Mark, I... I try to sleep. I really do. I lie down in our bed and I'm fully prepared to go to sleep, but then I remember things. The way I used to lay in Roger's arms and I don't feel them around me and I feel so empty inside. I'm... I'm alone now Mark. I... I haven't been alone in a very long time and I don't know how to do it, you know? I... I don't know how to sleep alone anymore." she looked over at him, fighting tears.

"I... I know Jami. What can I do?" he asked walking over to her.

"I... I don't know. I... I need your help Mark, please. Help me. I don't want to die. Not... not yet. My children need me." she cried looking up at him.

"I'll do my best Jami." he smiled wrapping his arms around her.

"Maybe I should go to a doctor and try to get something to help me sleep. At least until I can do it on my own, you know?" she asked looking up at him.

"Yeah, I... I think that's a good idea. And maybe you should go back to the psychologist. I think you talking to someone might help too." he looked at her.

"Yeah, I think so too." she agreed while Davis and Frankie listened from behind the wall.

"Mom doesn't want to die." Frankie smiled through her tears.

"I know kiddo. That's... that's good." he smiled at her.

"That's really good. I think she's finally gonna be OK." she looked up at him.

"Yeah, thanks to dad." he acknowledged.

"Yeah, dad works in mysterious ways, doesn't he?" she agreed.

"He sure does." Davis smiled realizing that his family was finally gonna be OK. His father may have been gone, but his mother was proving that she truly is the strongest woman in their family. He thought about his father smiling down on them.

The End.


End file.
